# tyranid fluff-lictor



## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

He turned slowly, expecting it to attack at any moment. He glanced down at his only weapon, the tail barb of a catachan devil. It was smooth and poisonous, and could deliver death with ease. He heard a rustle of leaves and dived to his right, knowing that in the time it would take for him to turn around, he’d be dead. As he finished the dive he rolled and jumped into the low branches of a large tree, scratching his hands on the rough bark. Once he had steadied himself he looked around for something, anything to help him stop it. Suddenly he saw it, the bright red leaves of an acidic plant commonly known as the blood drinker. It was famous for spraying a highly corrosive acid in all directions when its sensors were alerted. It would then grab the body of its victim with its tentacles and begin to feed. He hoped he could turn this against his hunter. He cut its white roots, careful not to touch its sensors and alert it to its danger. Once he was done he looked down, waiting for the lictor to strike again. He carefully balanced himself so he could burst the plant and jump out of the way in one swift move. He waited, listening to the jungles every sound. Suddenly, he heard the whistling of the wind and jumped for his life as the lictor’s claws embedded themselves in the trunk of the tree. He gasped for breath as he hit the ground hard. He scrambled to his feet and began running as he heard the characteristic hissing sound of a blood drinker releasing its acidic attack. He kept running, not wanting to turn around for fear of what he would see. He cried out in pain as something struck his shoulder. He turned and saw a flesh-hook embedded in his flesh. He grabbed his knife and tried to cut himself free, wincing as its alien blood spilled on his hand, turning it red and raw. Then, another slash of pain, another flesh-hook hit him, this time in his leg. He crumpled in pain on the ground as the lictor closed in on him. He screamed as its claws tore into his flesh and it began eating him alive. 

how is it? comments, questions?


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## deathbringer (Feb 19, 2009)

Good start
Detailed and descriptive
hope to read more


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## Israfil (Jul 6, 2008)

i sense a Predator thing and i like.


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## Giga[0] (Jun 28, 2009)

It's an interesting read but I think your punctuation could do with improving. You use commas a lot, when sometimes a more dramatic pause would work better. Try using colons and semi-colons more often to make the way it's read more intriguing and to keep the reader captivated, as well as adding some variation. Also, try using more periods. This way you will have a larger mix of complex and short sentences, which is better to read. Keep it up .


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## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

kk thx, i dont do 40k fluff that much but i might extend on this


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## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

Giga[0] said:


> It's an interesting read but I think your punctuation could do with improving. You use commas a lot, when sometimes a more dramatic pause would work better. Try using colons and semi-colons more often to make the way it's read more intriguing and to keep the reader captivated, as well as adding some variation. Also, try using more periods. This way you will have a larger mix of complex and short sentences, which is better to read. Keep it up .


alright ill keep that in mind 
thx 
:biggrin:


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## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

came out with new fluff
under 
tyranid fluff-lictor part 2


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## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

another new fluff
under
adeptus assasin fluff


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