# Why so Serious?



## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

It has to be said.

KHORNE: Take a stress pill and stop shouting! Lie down or something.
SLAANESH: Keep it in your pants dude(whatever it is). Too much of a good thing can turn bad pretty fast.
TZEENTCH: Seriously, get over the freakin` well. It gives you two heads. Big whoop.
NURGLE: Back the frig off. Can`t you see we`re all sick(literally) of your home brews?

NIGHTBRINGER: So you overslept. We all do. That`s no reason for attempted genocide.
DECEIVER: You`re a liar. I hate liars. I hope your house burns down.

KHAINE: Come on, man. Pull yourself together.

HIVEMIND: Have you considered going on a diet? Try to eat more greens. What? You already are? That`s a good start!

GORK: Life`s a joke. Spot on, mate.
MORK: That`s it, keep the laughs coming.

ETHEREALS: What`s so good about the greater good? Promises of equality and freedom? Sounds disturbingly familiar...

And finally...

EMPEROR: You are a huge disappointment. First, you ask the chaos gods nicely if they can help you create some children (presumably because no woman was enough for you), then you break the promise you made to them. NO WONDER they have the shits with you. Now you`re angry and won`t let the gods` children into your playground. Come on, they`re just gonna run around, wreck some stuff then go home when they get bored. Come on, get off your whithered old ass and do something. You`re a worse leader than George Bush or Kevin Rudd.


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## Vengeful_Saint (Mar 28, 2010)

XD WoW +rep.
That made me lol.
Even though I server the Emperor .. I agree he's a retard.
PRAISE HIM! OH PRAISE OUR MENTALLY HANDICAPPED LORD!


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

...

Rotfl.


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

Serpion5 said:


> It has to be said.
> 
> KHORNE: Take a stress pill and stop shouting! Lie down or something.
> SLAANESH: Keep it in your pants dude(whatever it is). Too much of a good thing can turn bad pretty fast.
> ...



I bet I could add some more to this

Genestealers : Those are my pants! Give them back.

Chaos Dreadnaught: Whoah Man, relax, you got big ass claws now.

Orks: Its hard to understand all that yelling, could you use your inside voice?


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Ultramarines:

You're inept, have a godawful paint scheme, and act like you own the Imperium. That, and you tore the Codex Astartes a new one. So much for a codex chapter.

Dark Eldar:

Being a walking pin cushion may result in lifestyle problems.

Eldar:

You're frakked. No exceptions, just a drawn-out, messy end in a futile attempt to save the galaxy. Any questions?

Necrons:

Got nothing on the Governator.

Inquisition:

Blowing up the planet is not a mature way to deal with your mistakes.

Abbadon: 

He's a joke by himself. Enough said.


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## jakkie (Dec 21, 2007)

hungryugolino said:


> Inquisition:
> 
> Blowing up the planet is not a mature way to deal with your mistakes.


Love it :grin:


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## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

hungryugolino said:


> Inquisition: Blowing up the planet is not a mature way to deal with your mistakes.


FUKKEN SIGGED. Oh and have some rep too. And the OP too.

Daemonette: No, don't *pant* don't *pant* don't *pant* don't stop *scream* we're still in rapid fire range! (Daemonettes die like guardsmen, just so you know)

Bloodletter: I wonder if your colour would change if you bathed. Just curious.

Horror: You're the perfect counter-example for the WYSIWYG rule... I have no idea what am I getting.

Plaguebearer: Keep an eye out for this objective, will ya? Oh, sorry...


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## Dies Irae (May 21, 2008)

Serpion5 said:


> KHAINE: Come on, man. Pull yourself together.


ROFL!!!! sigged and +rep


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## Inquisitor Varrius (Jul 3, 2008)

C'mon, the Inquisition is always mature! 

I laughed, well done to everybody.

Ork Flashgitz: We get it. You're rich. Now put down the gun and charge, and you just might hit something.

Ork Kommandos: Face the facts; you're just not quite loud enough for the normal charge.


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## Calamari (Feb 13, 2009)

Farsight: Wooo you have a big sword, I dont care you're Tau, fighting you is like being caressed by natural yogurt.


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## Frogthor (Mar 13, 2010)

Calamari said:


> Farsight: Wooo you have a big sword, I dont care you're Tau, fighting you is like being caressed by natural yogurt.


LOL:wink:Nice one


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

And some more:

NECRON WRAITH: You can phase through solid matter, right? Pretty sure power armour is solid matter... just saying...

AND THE REST OF YOU NECRONS: Why are you not fearless? You`re already dead, what`s the worst that could happen?!

LOOTA: No, I`m pretty sure that gun was in MY holster a few seconds ago...

KROOT: A knife and fork perhaps?

TAU: Your whole philosophy and lifestyle seems a bit 'fishy' to me.

VINDICARE ASSASSIN: Ah, one. My old nemesis...


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

bakoren said:


> Chaos Dreadnaught: Whoah Man, relax, you got big ass claws now.


Chaos Dreadnoughts: Incarceration is about as effective as anger management for some.


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## Kale Hellas (Aug 26, 2009)

commissars: im not trying to be picky but now how are we ment to take out that tank you just killed our fist.

psyker battle squads: because its more fun if you kill three


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

marbo (the loner) - well its either because you smell really bad, or you masterbait far to much that your on your own, still nothing says over compensating like a demo chargle, envenomed blad and a funky pistol..

prince yriel - didnt your mother never tell you not to play with spears, especially ones that dont belong to you.

chimera's- fuck amphibious, i want a hybrid one...may actually have more use in game..

genestealers- no i realy dont want a hug thanks..

imperial guard- let me gets this straigh, 40,000 years in the future and you still think its a good fucking idea to use horses... DID WW1 TEACH YOU NOTHING..


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

bob_the_grea said:


> imperial guard- let me gets this straigh, 40,000 years in the future and you still think its a good fucking idea to use horses... DID WW1 TEACH YOU NOTHING..


The fuck do you mean by that?
Horses are a great way to mobilise infantry, they steer themselves and navigate terrain better than a bike, leaving your men the freedom of mind to shoot stuff; maybe not the _best_ thing to use for a CC unit, but still good.


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

yeah...in the 40k universe not realy mate... 
last time i checked if i fire a rifle at a horse, its dies, the likley hood of the happening to a bike is much slimmer..

then you have to have stables....hay...salt lick.a stable boy.
bikes only need and engineseer.and petrol.

also in trench warfare...and machine gun implacements absolutley killed of horse mounted regiments, 

" In March 1918, the British launched a cavalry charge at the Germans. By the Spring of 1918, the war had become more fluid but despite this, out of 150 horses used in the charge only 4 survived. The rest were cut down by German machine gun fire."

cheers then...dont get me wrong horses are great tools for moving munitions, luggage ect ect, but you would of hoped by 40k time they would be a little bit better equiped.


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

That's more or less the point. 40k isn't exactly...efficient.

Imperial Guard: Idiots led by idiots.


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

imperial guard: when all else fails throw a million men at it.if that fails throw a titan, and if that fails time to call 0800 space marines.


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Space Marines: Power armour makes up for a lot of things. Lack of stealth, proper tactics, and common sense among them.


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

LMFAO
love it...

spacemarines - just think how effective you would be if you had camoflague..oh wait is that a daisy in the backs ground, no its an imperial fist scout unit.


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## KingOfCheese (Jan 4, 2010)

*DARK ELDAR:* _Wait..... who???_


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

conscripts- my nan nitted me this flak armour for christmas


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## KingOfCheese (Jan 4, 2010)

*Tyranids:* _Remember that ant you squished the other day? Well, his mother wants to come and say a few words, and she isnt happy..._


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Boltguns: not for construction work.


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## bob_the_grea (Jul 27, 2009)

sisters of battle - they say if multiple women live in the same house the menstrual cycle become the same, no wonder they want to burn everything the see.


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

Tervigon - "Please don't do that on the carpet."
Khorne zerkers - "You guys take blood drives way too seriously."


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Squats: I'm a little spess marine, short and stout. Here is my boltgun, here is my SHOUT!


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

DOMINATRIX: A female Hive Tyrant? That`s all we need.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Serpion5 said:


> DOMINATRIX: A female Hive Tyrant? That`s all we need.


A female Hive Tyrant that's in to bondage!
Why else would it have _Dominat_ in its name??


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## Holmstrom (Dec 3, 2008)

Plasmagun: Why do you have to melt me in to a pile of slag every other time I try to shoot you?


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## Kale Hellas (Aug 26, 2009)

plasma gun: in soviet russia plasma burns you, wait a second


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Plasma guns: Act like they were designed by an Ork Mech who'd had a few too many fungal beers. Same goes for damage.


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## Inquisitor Varrius (Jul 3, 2008)

Plasma Guns: For when the dice gods have no other way to tell you they hate you.

Am I the only one who's convinced plasma guns malfunction much more often than the 1/6 odds would imply?


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## Unforgiven302 (Oct 20, 2008)

Imperial Guardsmen: "Hey sarge, how do I get out of this chicken-shit outfit?!?!"


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Tau Guardsmen: Got sick of using flashlights.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

hungryugolino said:


> Tau Guardsmen: Got sick of using flashlights.


Actually they still DO use Flashlights.
The Tau provide them with the means to produce their own weaponry.


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Oh. Thought they got pulse carbines instead.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

hungryugolino said:


> Oh. Thought they got pulse carbines instead.


Well according to the Forge World rules for Gue'vasa or whatever it is.
They basically live outside the Tau society, still not fully trusted or respected, and are supplied with enough machinery to live comfortably and manufacture the equipment they need.


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Lexicanum disagrees...they evidently get pulse carbines when they're used as cannon fodder/respected allies. 

Chaos cults: Scientology for the 41st millenium.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

hungryugolino said:


> Lexicanum disagrees...they evidently get pulse carbines when they're used as cannon fodder/respected allies.
> 
> Chaos cults: Scientology for the 41st millenium.


Fair enough.

And disagree!
Chaos wants to destroy the system, whereas Scientology thrives in manipulating the law to silence people who speak against them.


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Good point. But a cult suspiciously similar to it shows up in Dark Heresy. ("Rejoice for you are true") 

Blood Pact: Halloween costumes do not constitute uniforms. Same goes for you, Zoicans.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

http://lh6.ggpht.com/eomolina/R8skLSuV1SI/AAAAAAAACfQ/89mAyt_IBDs/40k Scientology - Chaos.jpg
Oh yeah, I forgot about this picture XD


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

I saw it.

Tanith: Enough with the bloody bagpipes! Get a vox-caster or something.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Penal Legions with suicide bombs: Banned due to political correctness.


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

hungryugolino said:


> Chaos cults: Scientology for the 41st millenium.


Hahahahaha! Excelent analogy! 

CEGORACH: Your people are dying dude! And you`re laughing?!

GOLDEN THRONE: Does it include a flush? Or is that what the "custodians" are really there for?


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Yeah, bit of a shame. I'd love to use them. 

Chaos cultists: Religion makes you stupid. And suicidal.


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## Bane_of_Kings (Oct 28, 2009)

Ultramarines - Does Calgar tie your shoe laces for you too? 

Tyranids - Ummmm... ever heard of a diet plan? 

Space Wolves - Drinking is dangerous, try to lay low on the booze. And go fetch that stick! *throws stick*


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Blood Angels: Space Marines, Final Fantasy style.


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## TheSpore (Oct 15, 2009)

The Great Unclean One : Big, Dumb, and Ugly 
Death Company : Do you really have time to paint your armour black
Tzeentch : Make up up your flippin mind pick something and go with it
Necrons : cause you just cant keep a good robot down
The Emperor : 500 Trillion screaming fanatics cant be wrong


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

TheSpore said:


> The Emperor : 500 Trillion screaming fanatics cant be wrong


Why not?

Do you think psykers ever use telekinesis to... ahem... you know?


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## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

Space Wolves: Whats the difference between you and ultra-marines again?

Black Templar: Whats the difference between you and ultra-marines again?

Orks: Whats the difference between you an...Okay this is just getting redundant.

Eldar: You're elves, stop pretending.

EDIT: Continue
Imperial Guard: Oh just Shush, even your super heavy has rear armor 12.

Tau: Someday someone is going to take away your magic flashlight, so you better come up with a different strategy.

Tau: I am aware you have a weapon skill, That isn't going to stop this from being the shortest assault ever.


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## TheSpore (Oct 15, 2009)

Serpion5 said:


> Why not?
> 
> Do you think psykers ever use telekinesis to... ahem... you know?


good question

Multi Melta: when you absolutely have make the tank disappear


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

TheSpore said:


> Multi Melta: when you absolutely have make the tank disappear


Melta weapons: BAM, and the tank is gone!

Daemonettes: It's a trap!


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## hungryugolino (Sep 12, 2009)

Lascannon: Who says flashlights are useless?


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## TheSpore (Oct 15, 2009)

Imperial Las Gun: Don't so diddly
Imperial Gaurd Regiment : Thats whole lotta diddly


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## TheSpore (Oct 15, 2009)

Disregard that last post

Imperial Las Gun: Don't do diddly
Imperial Gaurd Regiment : Thats whole lotta diddly


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## AAAAAAAAARRRGGHH (Apr 17, 2009)

> Lascannon: Who says flashlights are useless?


Multi Melta - Who says flashlights are useful?


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## Inquisitor Varrius (Jul 3, 2008)

> Daemonettes: It's a trap!


Sm Camo Cloaks: It's a tarp!


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