# Raising the Primarchs



## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

Chapter one


"Im hoooooome!" shouted the Immortal God Emperor of Mankind, as he opened the door to the imperial palace, then mentally kicked himself for his stupidity. The mental kick sent ripples through the warp and chaotic galactic storms destroyed some planet nobody cared about on the edge of the universe. 

SWOOOSH! and there was the first one, a red-clad blur with silvery-white wings rushing toward him. Grabbing the doorhandle, the emperor braced himself for an impact stronger than planetary bombardment, an uncontrollable force with boundless energy that he knew was headed straight for him because of the thunder of its tread.


His Children.








* Plz read and review!!!!!!*


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## Dirge Eterna (Apr 30, 2007)

*Moved to 40K Fiction

-Dirge Eterna, Heresy High Council*


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## angels of fire (Dec 4, 2007)

This is meant to be non-serious because it's funny :laugh::laugh:


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## hawkwing (Jan 12, 2008)

er thats it .... um more?!?


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

sorry i didnt have much time to type and i cant get on at home. thats why you never see me post on the weekends. but im back now and there will be much more coming, most likely by 12:00 today. sorry for the inconvienience (did i spell that right?).


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

The furious ball of flying feathers reached him first, smashing into his most sacred of all faces and latching onto his head with all four limbs.

“Snguniuff geroff m’phace!” the Emperor tried to shout, voice muffled by the clinging body of a small child.

“Sorry ‘bout that daddy.” The boy apologized letting go and hovering in midair. “I just wanted to see you!”

“So do about a million pilgrims a day, plus the council of terra, the remembrancers guild and every myself-damn neophyte in the galaxy!” the holy one responded, spitting out a clump of white feathers. “Excuse me if I don’t have time to play ‘ring around the rosey’ with Mortarion, help Vulkan with his blacksmithing classes, bandage Ferrus’s hands, and put a parental block on the TV to keep Fulgrim from watching porn! I’m a busy God! I-"

And just then the others were upon Him. Lionel, Fulgrim, Perterabo, Jaghatai, Russ, Dorn, Konrad, Sanguinius, Ferrus, Angron, Roboute, Mortarion and Magnus, Horus, Vulkan, Lorgar, Corax, Alpharious and those two whose names he couldn’t remember, all pulling at his hands, leaping at Him, climbing on Him, and creating a cacophony of such volume that it brought him to his knees. 

“Yay! Piggy back ride!” squealed Alpharious mounting the Imperator’s shoulders.

And the Emperor wondered. He wondered how he’d gone all these years, raising a literal score of children on his own. He wondered if it was too late to jettison them all into space and find them later as adults. He wondered how it was possible that a Warrior-God sccustomed to lifting and throwing Greater Daemons could suffer back problems from small children bouncing on his back. He wondered if he would end up like the aged men of Old Earth, a comatose vegetable hooked up to a life-support machine. He shuddered at his secret fear. And then He Decided. He was going to hire a nanny.




Coming up: Meet the Primarchs… And the Nanny of Doom!


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## Master Andael (Jan 18, 2008)

Ehm It is Lion El'Johnson. So his first name is actually Lion.
And it is very funny.


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

As sy'shin looked upon the glorious imperial palace she felt... unimpressed. Which was not to say she wasnt excited. and amused. Imagine the Emperor of mankind hiring a Slaanesh daemonette to babysit his children! It had been too easy to decieve him! He had seemed..,. distracted by something. anyway she was a little anoyed that she was required to wear clothes for once. and restrain herself from running naked through the place, slaughtering every living being in sight while shreiking praise to her god and rejoicing in the delicious crimson flow of their blood... Aw well, we all must make sacrifices for the Great Powers she thought ruefully. And reached to ring the Holy Door-bell.


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## angels of fire (Dec 4, 2007)

Teehee, Slaanashi women running about naked. :laugh::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

angels of fire said:


> Teehee, Slaanashi women running about naked. :laugh::rofl::rofl::rofl:


Well the models are as close to it as GW dares make them aren't they?

the next installment should be done by later today. was at a friends over the weekend so didnt add anything last few days. srry.


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

The door was opened before her finger touched the button, by a child wearing a hideous purple dinosaur mask.

"BOO!" he shouted.

"Aiieee!" she screamed, only half mockingly. "oh you must be Konrad."

"Mwahahahahaha! You shrieked in terror! wait how did you know my name? are you one of those remembrancers, here to take my picture on daddy’s lap for the history books? I SWORE I WASN’T WEARING A TUX EVER AGAIN! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!” 

And with that he fled back into the building leaving here standing dizzy and speechless. What the Chaos had he just said? He had gone from maniacal laughter, to paranoia, to pleasant inquiries, to roaring defiance in the span of three seconds. Then she smiled. That one was going to be too easy to corrupt. She wondered which chaos god the Sorting Hat* would assign him to once they got back to The Eye of Terror…. 


*Yes that was a Harry Potter reference. No I don’t own J.K Rowling... or HP.


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## Master Andael (Jan 18, 2008)

:laugh:Very funny reference


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## primarchXI (Mar 17, 2008)

most amazing story ever :laugh:


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## zahariel (Feb 28, 2008)

these are really good you should do some more


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## Dessel_Ordo (Jul 28, 2008)

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very funny. much kudos (and some rep)


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## vacantghost (Feb 16, 2008)

Haha, lol that made my day XD


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## bob3472 (Feb 20, 2008)

"thank myself you're here!" the Emperor could have kissed her- and not merely because of her ISB* He made a few brief pleasentries, then, introducing the children with a sweep of his hand rushed out the door. 

Sy'shin looked at the gathered kids. They looked back. There were 18 to her one. And there- 2 more, hidden in a shadowed corner in the back. Must be shy she thought, they wouldn't be any trouble and she could ignore them while she worked on the others. The silence continued. Then, bored and at a loss for something to say to these snot-nosed gods she asked "so what do you like to do?"

"i want to be a pilot!" the one with the wings proclaimed as answer.

"oh... well thats very... redundant" Sy'shin responded and then the foyer was filled with a high-pitched din of voices and she realized what the small tremor she had felt upon neariing the palace had been. Slaanesh was indeed the god of excess in all its forms but her personal talents and interests lay in specific areas. This was too much, she had to shut them up. She shrieked.

She had forgotten the skull-splitting power of her race's voice. The crowd of tiny figures was thrown through an elaborate stone pillar. They sat dazed and dizzy watching her with a new fear and respect. 

"why..." Sy'shin panted, "why don't we just fix us something to eat alright?"

Most of them nodded dumbly. Then Al? was pointing at a fragment of the pillar and giggling like a school-girl. She inspected it more closely as it slowly rose on two short legs. it was one of the god-kids, coated head to toe in red marble dust.

"I do beleive that Fulgrim needs a bath" remarked Roboute, having recovered his consistent and annoying composed dignity.

Fulgrim was one of the older children. Sy'shin smiled a sly smile. "indeed he does. You lot head to the kitchens. I'll... take care of this and get back to you later. One was already calling a servitor, the rest filing down the east hallway.

Next time=Lunch and Bathtime



*Incredibly Sexy Body


R&R plz, (as good as previous?)


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