# The Fine Art of Gaming Etiquette



## Combatmuffin (Apr 23, 2008)

For the further edification and enjoyment of ALL gamers!

While the popular view of gamers being basement dwelling, anti-social, unhygienic men who live with their moms persists, the truth is that the moniker “gamer” encompasses many types of people in society. It is true that there is a core group that fits the stereotype, but more often than not, you will find that your local gamers are intelligent, well-spoken, well-groomed, socially adept members of society that just happen to have a love for all things fantasy/sci-fi and gaming. Because gaming in a group can bring together many varying types of people, gaming has slowly developed its own brand of etiquette.

These “rules” are more or less handed down verbally during a game. There are always variations, but the core of the rules seems to stay the same. Just like most games have “house rules” regarding game play, so do most games have “house rules” when it comes to how their members act. Most of the time, gaming etiquette is handled by the gaming group at large – usually the person breaking etiquette will be mocked mercilessly or gently herded back into the fold of proper gaming behavior. At times, the DM/Storyteller/Host will find it necessary to enforce one of these rules. 

*Rule #1: Arrive on time and ready to game.* There is nothing more frustrating to a DM and dedicated gamers than planning an entire game only to discover that some of the players have made alternate plans and will only be “2 hours late today” or “Oh, geez, I went to the movies before this and didn’t think to bring my dice bag.” The DM and the rest of the gaming group has most likely been thinking about this gaming session since the end of the last one. The DM has ideas and plans for the group. The players are looking forward to advancing the story line. For them, game night is important and exciting. To find out at the last minute that a player or group of players views a movie as more important than the game is not only a real downer, it makes the DM (and the group) question whether they even want to be involved in the game. The bottom line is if you have something going on, give the DM plenty of notice. And try to remember to pack your gaming gear before you leave the house.


*Rule #2: Respect your gaming environment.* Games can take place in a multitude of areas. You might attend a game at a local store, a school, a library, or the home of a friend. While each environment is different, there are some common rules that hold true no matter where you game. Respect the boundaries – only go into rooms that have been designated “ok.” If a door is closed to a room, don’t go there. Remember to be tidy. This is not your home. You are a guest. Use trash cans and clean up after yourself. Always ask before rummaging through items on bookshelves/in a room. It’s always polite before you touch another person’s possessions. Common sense rules that are sometimes tossed aside among people who see each other every week or every other week.


*Rule #3: Respect your fellow gamers.* There is nothing worse than sitting down at the gaming table, pulling out your character sheet and having a gaming buddy pick it up and start reading it. Similarly, handling a friend’s dice without permission is like licking your finger and sticking it in their pie. Neither of those actions is considered polite, and it can result in the instigator being thoroughly chastised and perhaps ignored for a while. When you show up to a game, your seat denotes your space. All other gamers should respect that space and ask before touching your books, dice, pens, pencils, erasers and other gaming accoutrements. Don’t turn into the unattended game store kid, ask before you touch. And for god’s sake, DON’T TOUCH THE MINIS IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT !!


*Rule #4: Snacks are a group effort.* So your game runs through dinner time. The host of the game has no problems providing the main course, but you get to the house and find that they have not bought a drink you like. Do you a) inform your host that they are a jerk and pout or b) bring your own favorite beverage? Anybody who answers “A” has just flunked Gaming Etiquette. Just as gaming is a group activity, food is a pot-luck affair. Most gaming groups will consist of somebody who doesn’t mind providing the food, somebody who doesn’t mind providing the drinks, and at least one person who will complain that there is nothing around that they like. The typical “But I don’t eat meat on a pizza!” response has elicited more than just groans in a gaming group. It can easily lead to hurt feelings and problems around the table. The easiest way to avoid this is to always contribute to the gaming snacks. If you like to bring sweets, designate yourself the “dessert” person. If you MUST have that diet beverage, offer to pick up some 2 liter bottles. But, the bottom line is that if you don’t contribute to the food then you lose the right to request a menu suited for your diet.


*Rule #5: Gaming is a social event…but it’s also a Gaming event.* We all know how it goes. The gaming group hasn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks or so, they all show up and…geez…can’t stop talking about what’s been going on. The DM is desperately trying to get the game on track because a player has told him they can’t stay the whole time but the group refuses to focus or listen. Not only has gaming night been ruined by the lack of focus but the DM leaves the game feeling unappreciated or let-down. Social conversations are an integral part of gaming. But when they take over the game, they have the potential to leave both players and DMs feeling annoyed. The best rule of thumb? If the DM has just started to describe something, close your mouth and listen. You can socialize after the vampire and rat swarms finish mauling your group.


*Rule #6: The DM runs the game. *The DM is the person who has graciously offered their time, energy and talents to run this game. The DM monitors the time of the gaming session, has the thankless task of keeping all the players on track and tries to run an interesting game. The player’s job is to enjoy all this hard work while contributing positively to the gaming environment. This means it is inappropriate to deliberately try to annoy the DM, to start problems during the games, to talk on the phone or text message while at the table, to start conversing (see #5) in the middle of a fight, and to arbitrarily decide when the game is done and start packing up your belongings. Most DMs know when their players are getting tired. It’s usually about the time someone falls asleep in their Mountain Dew Can Castle. If you really want to leave, at least have the courtesy to ask your DM how much longer the game is going to last. The DM obviously has your respect since you have asked him to run the game (or you joined the game). Show him that respect and let him run his game.


*Rule #7: Have Fun.* All of the rules mentioned above lead to this, the most important rule. We all wouldn’t be getting together for a gaming night if we didn’t want to have fun. Having fun is the central theme around which gaming revolves. But making sure gaming night is fun is the responsibility of everyone present. If the players are having a blast but the DM is not, something is going wrong. Similarly, if the DM is happily chucking skeletons at the group and having a grand old time but the players are grumbling, then the game is failing. Making sure a game is fun comes down to two fundamental things: communication and teamwork. If something is not working in a game, talk about it. If a player is hogging the limelight, talk about it. Communication helps the game run smoothly. And remember that this is a game about teamwork: working with the DM, working with your friends and working within the game. Yes, it’s fun to be the star of the show for a while, but sharing the spotlight ensures that everyone has fun and nobody leaves the game feeling underappreciated. 

So there you have it. Remember to respect your environment, respect your gaming buddies, listen to your DM and most of all, have fun!


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

:clapping:
Sums up my own thoughts on the matter pretty much perfectly


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## Ender (May 11, 2008)

Rule 5 . . . how I hate to run games because all the people breaking rule 5 . . .

But yes everyone needs to commit this to memory. This even goes for non RPG games as well.

Great contribution, thanks


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## Viscount Vash (Jan 3, 2007)

Having hosted many games and run a few RPGs over the years and have had trouble with rule 2. Many interesting item have been pawed and one chap is forever banned from my sight for drawing a sword or the wall and being a idiot with it.

All good rules, so good ive made this a sticky.


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## Elchimpster (Jan 31, 2007)

Well said, and + rep to you!


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## vorbis (Nov 20, 2007)

printed out and posted on gaming wall, hope u dont mind


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## Druchii in Space (Apr 7, 2008)

Aye, thats pretty much spot on, as a DM/ST now since 91, I can relate to all these points, and yeah 5 and 6 can do my nut in on occasion. Sadly 7 befell my last group when a couple of my players seemed to lose track on what was in and out of character, and started to take IC issues outside the game, a real shame. 

Since I moved to Suffolk in 04 its been just me and my lovely wife, and although i have zero probs with one on one RPGing, I do long for a proper group again.

Excellent stuff though. :biggrin:


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## Combatmuffin (Apr 23, 2008)

Vorbis - No problems with posting it. We sent it to our gaming group as a group post. In fact, they inspired it. I'm still at a loss to explain why they all decided to just pack up and leave at once right as Steel Rain was describing something...when I talked to everybody about it I got "We were having fun but it was getting late!" ::sigh:: Now we have written rules.

Druchii - we've been in that boat. We lived in a town for a while that was more war game, less pen and paper gaming. And while we all love a good game of 40k, we missed rpg's. We're lucky to live in a more gaming-diverse community now.


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## chrisman 007 (Jan 3, 2008)

Christ, my club doesn't follow a _single_ one of those rules!!!! It sucks!


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## The Son of Horus (Dec 30, 2006)

Mine kind of doesn't either-- we have a room that's rented for us by the independent retailer. We keep it clean, but we get blamed for stuff the other groups *cough, Magic, cough* do. We're a pretty cantankerous bunch, but it's mostly just an act because dickery can be really funny, and nobody takes each other's jabs particularly seriously. It's always priceless when a little old lady walks by the game room and hears someone say something jokingly racist/sexist/generally abusive. 

I would add one thing to the rules of gaming ettiquite. It can be summed up in one, very simple word. *BATHE.* We've got some febreeze poofers going 24/7 in the game room, and the place is still referred to as "the pit" because it's rather rank down there at times. I've lost track of how many times I've wanted to say, "Seriously, dude...a bar of soap and a stick of deoderant is like three bucks...if you can't afford that, then stop buying gaming stuff!"


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## cccp (Dec 15, 2006)

moved to gen. 40k. more appropriate methinks.


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## Combatmuffin (Apr 23, 2008)

To The Son of Horus - I completely forgot about bathing! Maybe because everybody who comes to our house understands what soap is made for. But I have been subjected to the rank horror of the unclean gamer. I am not above spraying somebody down with air freshner (on their clothes, of course...never on the skin).


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## Steel Rain (Jan 14, 2008)

It's true. She actually has sprayed me down with an air freshener after a particularly rank fart.


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## shas'o7 (May 17, 2008)

Great to see these!


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## kungfoomasta (May 8, 2008)

great rule set especially #4 dont complain foods free and if you wanted mountain dew they you should have brought some then shoudln't you

sir you have summed up what needed to be said in a very nice form i applaud you


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## Lord Reevan (May 1, 2008)

This is really good. I'm gonna print it up and stick it up. The thing about the food is our gaming club is part of a youth club so they supply the food and we can have a say in what's bought so that's good. The bathing thing is a major problem. We play in a 12X9 room with small windows and the place stinks up pretty bad, especially when the guy who doesn't wash plays aka puts random plastic pieces on a table and complains and cheats...


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## weirdbob (May 29, 2008)

At the risk of sounding a bit rude having basic standards of personal hygiene (brush your teeth too dammit!) should be required by law, not just gaming etiquette.


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## plug (Feb 22, 2008)

Good post. Agree with everything thats been said.


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## mrrshann618 (Jun 6, 2008)

I think everyone has had the non-bather in one group or another. I actually had to quit playing for a while. There was one guy, who worked an overnight shift. I can handle him showing up after shift sometimes and not having the chance to shower (unless we wanted to wait an extra 45 min) however one day, a day that the individual didn't have time to shower, he wasn't the problem, another guy was digging out his belly button and admiring it. combine the two and that was it.


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## Tigirus (Apr 13, 2008)

those rule sound good, consider them posted in my dnd room :grin:

#1 is the only one we have trouble with, but the real problem is that the DM is usually half a hour late and we have to wait for him and since he's the DM there really isn't anything we can do


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## Casmiricus (Mar 6, 2008)

The Son of Horus said:


> I would add one thing to the rules of gaming ettiquite. It can be summed up in one, very simple word. *BATHE.* We've got some febreeze poofers going 24/7 in the game room, and the place is still referred to as "the pit" because it's rather rank down there at times. I've lost track of how many times I've wanted to say, "Seriously, dude...a bar of soap and a stick of deoderant is like three bucks...if you can't afford that, then stop buying gaming stuff!"



I did say that to someone once. A really fat guy standing next to me during a mega-battle. He turned to me, astonished and angry and looking down his nose at me.

He informed me that he was a naturalist, a vegetarian, and didn't want to kowtow to the corporate fatcats that ran the deoderant companies.

There was *dead* silence on our half of the table for about 60 seconds.


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## Steel Rain (Jan 14, 2008)

Every mammal on earth bathes in some fashion or another. Refusing to bathe is not natural at all, actually.


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## Vrykolas2k (Jun 10, 2008)

Viscount Vash said:


> Having hosted many games and run a few RPGs over the years and have had trouble with rule 2. Many interesting item have been pawed and one chap is forever banned from my sight for drawing a sword or the wall and being a idiot with it.
> 
> All good rules, so good ive made this a sticky.




That's interesting to me; I've never had anyone come into my home and touch one of my blades or fire-arms without permission.
Gaming books, occasionally, but I don't mind that as long as they treat the books well...


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## death cry (Jun 12, 2008)

the one thing that pisses me off most when you beat people who dont know how to use there army and and then teell gw stall you are cheating


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

There are two more rules that I think are pretty much mandatory.

*1: Mind Your Own Business.*
If you are not playing in a game, whether it be an RPG or tabletop wargame, and cannot resist skulking around and watching.....Keep your mouth shut about the game.
Do not keep interjecting your wisdom of someones tactics, how bad one is going to beat the other, how your army would kick everyones ass(idle chat), generally standing in the way of the gamers playing, or boisterously rules lawyering over their game.
Those gamers are there to enjoy themselves, and if they wanted you to do these things, they would ask you to. Either talk about good things, keep your mouth shut, or walk away. I see this at least 5 times each time I visit a hobby store or try to DM or be in an RPG with nonplayers around.

*2: Overreacting(aka being a Sore Loser)*
It's perfectly fine to be competitive and want to win. Tabletop games are all about the 1 big winner. RPGs are different, in the way that there is never 1 big winner, but a group of winners. If you don't get every cool item, or feature that you wanted in an rpg, or dominated the game with your prowess, keep your head up. You got your butt handed to you in a big fight, or got robbed, etc.. Your character is still alive and.. IT IS AN IMAGINARY GAME ON PAPER. Your life is not over, contrary to your beliefs. There is no throwing dice, leaving, sitting sourly at the table and ruining the fun for everyone. This works out the same in tabletop games as well, with people becoming huge dicks when their army is losing. Whether that is being ignorant to everyone around then, mewling around and not trying anymore like they are coming off of a hard drug binge, or busting out a rulebook and turning into the worst rules lawyer ever. Losing sucks, nobody is a big fan of it. Losing badly is really bad, but you have to be a bigger person and have a little dignity, if not for yourself, then for the image you project to others around you.
Everyone has someone like this in their RPG group. Every hobby store is flooded with them.


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## KellysGrenadier (Jul 13, 2008)

Casmiricus said:


> I did say that to someone once. A really fat guy standing next to me during a mega-battle. He turned to me, astonished and angry and looking down his nose at me.
> 
> He informed me that he was a naturalist, a vegetarian, and didn't want to kowtow to the corporate fatcats that ran the deoderant companies.
> 
> There was *dead* silence on our half of the table for about 60 seconds.


Wait just one minute... He does not want to cow to capitalist avarice , yet hangs out in a GAMES WORKSHOP store? You should have punched him in the face.

And, did anyone get superior looks from the clerks the first time you showed up in the store? Made to be intangibly felt unwelcome? As if the shop was their personal property?


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## vp7799 (Jul 30, 2008)

It has been said but it needs to be said again. If you are gaming in a store or public venue where you will be meeting new people in an enclosed area you need to SHOWER!! This is not a recommendation. If I can find the time after playing golf to come home shower and change before I go to the store, you can find the time to shower as well.


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## Maximus (Mar 9, 2008)

vp7799 said:


> It has been said but it needs to be said again. If you are gaming in a store or public venue where you will be meeting new people in an enclosed area you need to SHOWER!! This is not a recommendation. If I can find the time after playing golf to come home shower and change before I go to the store, you can find the time to shower as well.


This one ist totally signed.


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## the cabbage (Dec 29, 2006)

Casmiricus said:


> I did say that to someone once. A really fat guy standing next to me during a mega-battle. He turned to me, astonished and angry and looking down his nose at me.
> 
> He informed me that he was a naturalist, a vegetarian, and didn't want to kowtow to the corporate fatcats that ran the deoderant companies.
> 
> There was *dead* silence on our half of the table for about 60 seconds.


There was only one reply you could make, imo.

"you are a tit pal, get some deoderant now before I get medieval on you"


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## The_Inquisitor (Jul 19, 2008)

[/QUOTE]And, did anyone get superior looks from the clerks the first time you showed up in the store? Made to be intangibly felt unwelcome? As if the shop was their personal property?[/QUOTE]

No, guys in my local store have always been friendly and chatty, not just to regulars but to anyone who walks in the doors. This is the only way to go about sales in a store selling wargames. If they weren't as outgoing and pleasant they wouldn't make half as many sales as I see them making veery week. Maybe its different in different countries.


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## marcch (Apr 1, 2008)

A firm command of basic good manners is all that is really required. For the non-bathers out there... clean up as you are just being rude. For the sore losers...get a life. For the gamers... life is short so lets game!


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

Very nice. While I cant say I've had trouble with Rule #4, I have been bogged down with snacks before. Sometimes that much crisps have to be allowed their own private eating time


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## Gambit14 (Aug 30, 2008)

after reading these rules i have one thing to say...
if you dont like meat on pizza, you really need to listen to Arnold's Pizza shop

"Brocolli, what the hell is brocolli?"


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## Gambit14 (Aug 30, 2008)

after reading many of the stories about model casualties, i think a few more rules should be

8. DONT DRINK AND PLAY WARHAMMER
9. DONT PLAY AGAINST KIDS UNLESS YOU KNOW THEM BEFOREHAND
10. Cats will be cute, but they will cause more destruction than a Nid Hive Fleet


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## GMMStudios (Apr 1, 2008)

#8. If your life consists of nothing more than 40k, it's probably not a good idea to alienate and drive off everyone you meet at the game store.

#9. If your life consists of nothing more than 40k, at least try and be somewhat of a gentleman about it. List tweaking and adding noob intro games to your win tally doesn't promote the game or yourself very well.

The two above are mainly why I play in private groups now. I'm only going to the game store to play prearranged games with friends. Too many people who don't understand the difference between strong play and weasely list tweaking and cheating. Its all about the fluff except when I want to boost my weak ego eh? Have fun playing the 12 year olds, you've earned it!


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## RallytoCleburne (Jul 25, 2008)

*Spot on*

As others have posted, these are the core rules that make any game setting a better one.

I have run D&D, Squad Leader, and table top mini games for the better part of 25 years now and can attest to the value of these simple considerations.

One thing I would also mention is music. As a D&D DM, music could inspire, but more often than not it really detracted from the game. Most game store environments are music free, but the home game environment can get hit with this issue from time to time.

And I have to emphasize the "come ready to game" rule. For those of with demanding careers, time is is a luxury that we don't want to waste and sadly there is precious little of it for gaming...so when the game is at hand...keep the game in mind.


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## Gannon (Mar 13, 2008)

These rules are golden. I must say that hygene is a huge problem with me. If I can smell the guy standing across the table I really can't help but to say something. For gods sake people take a shower. You know over the course of a day you're going to get gamers funk, don't come to the store with the funk all ready on you!

That and consideration of models, property, and good gaming ethics. I've never had a qualm with correcting my opponent or giving him a little help with a rule he may have forgotten. Mentoring for a better gaming community is what it's all about for us Veterans of the game. Well at least I see it that way.


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