# I'm not allowed to _____ anymore



## SavageConvoy (Sep 21, 2011)

Just thought I'd see if I can hear some other groups funny stories about games long passed.
Just explain what your group or Dm won't let you do anymore.
For me it's set in the Firefly based game Serenity and actually why our Gm won't run it anymore. 

-I'm not allowed to make an explosives/mechanical/techinal character with a grudge against the system.
-I'm not allowed to spend more than 75% of my starting money on explosive/corrosive/generally anarchy inducing tools.
-I'm not allowed to have pilot match speed and course with a hostile enemy ship trailing behind us.
-I'm not allowed to suddenly open the cargo bay doors, launching myself out.
-I'm not allowed to use a magnetic grappling hook to board onto the hostile ship's hull.
-I'm not allowed to place satchel charges onto the ships grav ring.
-I'm not allowed to crouch over the cockpit, flipping the bird, and wave the detenator around.
-"Ballistic Mechanic" Is not/will never be/never was a job title/character class/motto to live your life by.


----------



## gothik (May 29, 2010)

was playing shadowrun once and when i GM i am quite liberal as long as no one takes the piss and has a fairly plausable explination for why they want something. if i agree they get it if i don't they won't simples...however one player when he plays goes by the rule book religiously.
you cannot try and cheat a dragon cause he will know....errrrrr if you have the gumption to get away with it you might.
you cannot do this cause the rule book says you can't
you cannot do that cause the rule book says you can't

the rules are there to guide not rule everything and that in itself makes the RPG experaince more entertaining...like in James Bond once my character picked up a thrown grenade and threw it back down the corridor to which in german came HOLY SHIT before the explosion....now that went down in our annaulds of total stupidity but by gods it worked lol


----------



## Tim/Steve (Jan 25, 2009)

These last few months I've been playing shadowrun with 2 GMs (they kinda tag team) and I've been playing a face with back up illusion magic. Everything about my character was based around conning and tricking my way through the game... I was almost totally incompetent in a fight.
The problem came when one GM would draw up a strict plan for what would happen... which meant that anytime I wanted to trick my way into doing something/anything that would change how he wanted the encounter to go I would fail. He wouldn't just tell me that I had failed either... he would roll for it based on the stats he would give his NPCs, but would be rolling about twice as many dice to avoid my cons as I did to make them, and I literally had everything I could fit into my 300BP character to maximise my ability.... pure fail.
I was never formally banned from conning, but after a few weeks I only bothered to feck with other party members (since I knew they had set, sensible stats)... made the RP quite boring to me since it basically devolved into a combat centred game... when we had been told to build characters for a interaction/conversation RP (we were fairly pants in combat).

Next time I'm involved in a RP with the same group I think I might do something similar to my previous character: an ogryn with a heavy stubber.... a massively fun (and stupid) character to play


----------



## SavageConvoy (Sep 21, 2011)

It's more along the lines of the funny events that messed up seens or entire campaigns.

With my post, the reason why it upset the GM so bad is that it was his first Serenity campaign. He was going off a guide in the book to see if we liked the setting enough to continue on. Our ship had no weapons, so the campaign was set to steer us towards an old station where we would get out and have a gun fight, find a survivor, and extract the necessary information that would start our campaign off. 

Instead I chuckled and explained my plan. We argued physics for a few minutes. And then I killed a ship. The entire enemy crew was turned to pudding, therefore unable to answer questions, therefore my GM had to scramble to rework the scenario.

Also, from the same campaign.

-Under no circumstances, no matter how funny it may be, I am not allowed to pull out a grenade, no matter how nonlethal, out in a public bar surrounded by a bunch of jittery NPCs.
-And should the previously stated events happen to transpire, I am not allowed to use said grenades to try and calm the now severly aggitated mob.
-In the event the gods have abandonded me along with all common sense and the last two statements become actual events, I am not allowed to try and convince the lynch mob that it is clearly their fault for their ignorance on grenades while my captain is trying to barter for my release.

I think I may be a "That guy"


----------



## Samules (Oct 13, 2010)

I cannot build explosive devices power enough to TPK into my armor and then us that the threaten the party for leadership.


----------



## Tim/Steve (Jan 25, 2009)

2 of my friends are banned from flamer/plasma weaponry of any sort in any RP.... they seem to be competing to see which can get the highest total damage caused and manage TPK (not quite managed that yet). Best one so far was a someone lethal explosion in a glitching combi-flamer... it killed a weirdboy, 5-8 ork boyz, a huge number of ork spores (which were imminently about to release yet more orks) and about 3 party members
.... 
My friend who was carrying that unlucky piece of technology is now no longer to answer the question: "do you want to dive on it to shield the explosion or hold it up" with the answer "hold it up as high as I can"...

Oddly while these lethal mid-combat explosions keep happening to my group they keep being fairly helpful: lack of teamwork and enemies mobbing in towards characters often means that the explosion takes out most/all of the enemy while only killing part of our party... my character at the time was a heavy support ogryn who must have thought this 'getting close tot he enemy' lark was fairly dangerous: everyone who did so tended to blow up fairly quickly


----------



## maddermax (May 12, 2008)

A couple of my friends are banned from killing eachother in game, after it happening three times in two different games.

Meanwhile, in D&D my wisdom 8 bard is banned from touching or poking anything (after some nasty experiences with traps), yelling hello and trying to converse with people on foggy days, who have been described as "shambling and groaning", dressing up in a red jacket and trying to teach my new zombie friends how to dance the thriller (hey, 3 turns and they never hit, so it must have been working ), or flashing my sword around while shouting "ha-HARRRR!" and jumping into the thick of combat, even though I have the combat capabilities of an enraged sheep.

And while it's being allowed this time, I have been told that next time I'm not allowed to take a half-elf bard who likes show tunes, only dressing up in leather, using whips and glitter dust, and has "?" under gender, and who yells "taste my balls evil doers!", as he uses a pearl necklace of fireballs.


----------



## Nicholas Hadrian (Mar 20, 2011)

Well I was DMing most of the games that these came from but here is the work of my evil freind Ryan, my other evil friends Chris and Steve, the rest of our little band of malignancies, and some of my own blunders

I am not allowed to create a character named "Little Nina Nutshot"
I am not allowed to make joke characters reoccur in other campaigns as revenge
I am not allowed to kill vintners and making it look like suicide so I can steal the deed to the winery the DM never intended to give me
I am not allowed to make Lodestone bombs
I am not allowed to set up suituations where a character prompts another with the question of "Why didn't you just shoot the button?"
Glue is not a ballistic material
I am not allowed to use color spray to turn a adventure climax battle into a cakewalk
I am not allowed to throw dirt into the car of a obsessive compulsive Malkavian
Calling Satan, the Prince of Darkness "Lucy" is not appropriate behavior
I do not get a bonus to seduction no matter how drunk my character is
Gold is not a ballistic material either
Characters with enough strength to crack the planet are frowned upon
Assassin vines do not make good gifts
Similarly, 9 foot tall bengal tiger beast-men do not make good pets
I am not allowed to make any more villians
Other party members do not appreciate being mugged
Clumsy Saytrs are a bad idea in practice
Becoming "That Creepy Guy Who Plays An Elf Woman" with the sole purpose of annoying the DM is similarly poor taste.
Convincing freinds to also become TCGWPAEWs is not appropriate behavior
I am not allowed to fuck up the very physical nature of the DM's carefully constructed campaign world

Oh and here's one my brother did ALOT.
I am no longer allowed to use Fireball within 20 feet of the party.

The truly worst part about all this?
They are absolutely still allowed to do this at my table if they have a clever enough reason for pulling this shit.


----------



## Erik_Morkai (May 2, 2011)

Love this thread ok what comes to mind.

In Shadowrun:
- I am not allowed to craft my own guns. I am not allowed to take the skill.

In AD&D:
- I am not allowed to design castle defenses anymore following an incident with a battering ram and a partially revolving drawbridge.

- I am not allowed to carry handcuffs anymore. (Following an incident in where being unable to beat the villain (pirate captain) I plunged, cuffed his ankle to the anchor chain and pulled the lever.

There are probably a couple of others I would need to ask my former GMs.


----------



## Samules (Oct 13, 2010)

I am not allowed to teach new players how to break the campaign.

(Seriously, once I organized the party in a D&D game to be a Spellsword focusing in fireballs, sorcerer with loads of teleportation and fireballs, a monk with a neaklace of fireballs and enough speed enhancing items to outrun a train and myself, a mystic theruge with fireballs and holy smites aplenty. The invading army never stood a chance. Anywhere they broke down the wall of the city they recieved a wall of fire to exterminate everything attacking that section within seconds of entering. Oh and when he set a red dragon on us he found out we all had cold energy subsitution for our spells)


----------



## Nicholas Hadrian (Mar 20, 2011)

Samules said:


> I am not allowed to teach new players how to break the campaign.
> 
> (Seriously, once I organized the party in a D&D game to be a Spellsword focusing in fireballs, sorcerer with loads of teleportation and fireballs, a monk with a neaklace of fireballs and enough speed enhancing items to outrun a train and myself, a mystic theruge with fireballs and holy smites aplenty. The invading army never stood a chance. Anywhere they broke down the wall of the city they recieved a wall of fire to exterminate everything attacking that section within seconds of entering. Oh and when he set a red dragon on us he found out we all had cold energy subsitution for our spells)


LAMO, I love it. This is the sort of shit one of my players would pull.


----------



## Kale Hellas (Aug 26, 2009)

i am not allowed to have a dwarf (being the only ranged model in my group at the time) kick down a dark ominous door yelling blood for the blood god, then push the rest of the party through in front of me.


----------



## SavageConvoy (Sep 21, 2011)

My group is no longer allowed to pick up/touch/stare deeply into/think heavily on any object that our GM describes as "plain looking", "old", or "I'm sure it won't kill you"

Every time it turns out to be possesed by some horrible dark god from beyond the stars or some crap. We lost so many NPCs just from touching rocks.


----------



## CaptainQuackers (Jan 4, 2012)

I am no longer allowed to converse with and be friendly to pale men who keep talking about being hungry (he was turning in to a ghoul)


----------



## effigy22 (Jun 29, 2008)

WFRP 2nd Ed:
While in Bretonia my elf is not allowed to run around the peasant's shouting "I am one of the Fay!" 

As a Witch hunter, i am no longer allowed to say or utter the words "In the name of sigmar i requisition this Horse / Cannon / Runefang / Magic Item of death / Pet Wizard / ETC"


----------



## jonileth (Feb 1, 2012)

When I used to RP D&D, I played a lot of Paladins in my time. Something about bastard swords and making the undead my bitches... I don't know. Anyway, I used to have some very unusual characters. And now that I set that up...

I'm not allowed to use war cries like "For Pony!" and "I regret nothing!" in a voice that makes the entire group laugh uncontrollably for the rest of the gaming session and thereby kill a good adventure because I just had to be in character.

It's the little things...


----------



## VixusKragov (Feb 21, 2012)

I'm not allowed to wall walk on ceilings while others talk anymore.

I'm also not allowed to use White Noise around our tech-priests anymore.


----------



## Jerek Carstien (Feb 16, 2012)

I'm not allowed to say "I eat it!" to everything.

To extend this story... When told about four dark crystals that were summoning some gigantic demon, my response was "I take it off the stand and eat it!". For further extension on this story; I ended up eating all the dark crystals and got possessed by the demon, ending my characters life.


----------



## SavageConvoy (Sep 21, 2011)

Look up the evil overlords to do list.
"Never consume any energy field larger than my head."


----------



## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

Not something I do, but as DM I was sick of my players always inflicting prone on my boss level encounters rendering them unable to fight back. 

So I instigated a universal save for prone monsters allowing them to keep their footing. It made my battles fun again. For me at least. 


I had to do this. A Great Green Dragon loses its fear factor when it spends most of the battle on the ground clutching its knees. :headbutt:


----------



## Iron Angel (Aug 2, 2009)

I'm not allowed to carry around a boulder any more.

Dungeons and Dragons, Ed 1. Old school shit.

I had a boulder. The DM named him Earl and made him his own character sheet and everything, and started giving experience to the boulder, because he didn't want to give it all to me.

What I would do is hurl it down every hallway, and at every door. Any traps placed would be triggered, and I would get all the experience for both finding and disarming the traps, and I was leveling at an alarming rate because of it. The DM got tired of it, even though everyone else thought it was hilarious, and decided to make Earl his own character, and to give Earl all the experience for the traps.

Earl was level 30 when the rest of the party reached level 15.

The DM was very trap happy to try to counter Earl. But Earl always got the experience, because Earl would always hit the pressure plate/trip wire/magic rune/whatever, and always failed his agility roll to avoid triggering the trap (Due to being a big rock). Thus, the trap always went off, and always avoided harming the group. Discover, disarm. Done.

Thus, no more boulders.


----------



## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

Iron Angel said:


> I'm not allowed to carry around a boulder any more.
> 
> Dungeons and Dragons, Ed 1. Old school shit.
> 
> ...


Fuck. That is awesome. :shok:


----------



## khrone forever (Dec 13, 2010)

im not allowed to not kill a certain friend.......ye ill explain

basically in any fight that happened, one of my friends would always die really quickly, a low level telekinetic snake thing. so when he didnt seem to be dieing one of us would cast a AOE spell, throw a bomb etc and kill him, (no loss of character if you die). and it became a tradition, every single battle he would die no matter what 


also we are not allowed to volenteir someone else for sacrifice: at one stage we were negotiating with an dark cult and they asked for a sacrifice in exchange for information, so...........all the but hte person mentioned in the previous example stepped backwards making it look like he stepped forwards


----------



## SavageConvoy (Sep 21, 2011)

In every game we play now, we always have a random NPC called Billy-Jack based on a guy our group knows. The character has the lowest intelligence score and a fairly high strength. Every mission we end up sending him on a suicide run or leaving him to fend off a horde of angry crystal spiders while our group runs off to have a tea party. It's a staple in every game that we have to find a way to have our Billy-Jack die off before the night ends. 

Also remembering back to my very first game of D&D. A few friends and I were playing a simple game, just goofing off and having fun. The GM decided to send a Gelatinous cube our way, blocking us from going further into a dungeon. I asked "What's a Gelatinous cube?" GM explains to me that it's a giant wall of Jell-o that waits for people to fall into it so it can eat them. So I figured that all it wanted was something to eat and it'd go away. So my Dwarf grabs the nearest halfling and hurls him in. Fun times.

I also made a little mascot for our group based on that and a sad emo kid, I called it the Big Pile of Vampire.


----------



## Captain_Daerys_Arrun (Jan 9, 2012)

I am never allowed to play a kender in any Dragonlance setting or when the GM is using a generic and say "Play whatever." Every person in the group would tell you I had the best roleplayed character by far, but that was also the problem. I tried to tone it down by making myself roll to see if I did some of the "Kender" things I came up with. 

My wife is not allowed to play the rogue, with the bag of holding, who is in charge of the loot. I was DM and she asked me about it. I said you're a thief. They thought she's a new player, not gonna think in the terms of roleplaying counter to the groups interests. They got to the end of a really long multi part quest and decided to divide everything up. Everyone said I thought we had more than that but no one really looked into it. She showed me on her paper were she had almost as much gold as everyone else put together.


----------



## Haskanael (Jul 5, 2011)

I'm nt allowed to play a Androgynious character animore and crossdress to seduce NPC's out of all their money.


Did this once and when the NPC 'found out' there were wanted posters in half the known world. 

this was in a homemade Gurps campaign.


----------



## bitsandkits (Mar 18, 2008)

im not allowed to throw gold into a crowded peasant village starting a riot as a spectator sport as its deemed as un-chivalrous


----------



## DaiKaiju (Aug 8, 2012)

As of tonight, I'm not allowed to hunt for the source of underwater tentacles with a dwarf in full plate and a tower shield. On the bright side I still wasn't anywhere near drowning lol

And from the start of our Pathfinder campaign, shouting Screaming Eagles before I charge isn't a good idea. I knocked myself out trying to jump over a desk lol


----------



## notsoevil (Nov 30, 2010)

I am not allowed to have a magic cube that can expand to any size I want. Especially if I get swallowed by a dire shark in the middle of the ocean. Especially if I try to use the cube to escape said dire shark. Especially when the DM says "what size" and I say 100' cubed. That is especially large enough to destroy the ship the other PCs and campaign Macguffins are on. Especially if in my genius I decide to then shrink the cube to help .. thereby displace all the water it was floating in, creating a vortex that killed the unkillable Macguffins and nigh drowning the entire party.

All following campaigns have a cube joke somewhere in them.


----------



## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

I am not allowed to use a portal gun/gate spell to open a teleport hole to the deepest part of the ocean/elemental plane of water.

#epic showdown of all showdowns against mary sue unkillable, how to fix? send him into outer space with a water gun.


----------



## Sethis (Jun 4, 2009)

As a Gnome Druid I am not allowed to ride my Black Bear animal companion into battle, complete with lance, shield and wooden plate armour. Because everyone else gets envious.


----------



## TyphoidLmJ (May 20, 2012)

Im not allowed to make fighters with the grappling specialty and go around giving any NPC we meet famous Pro wrestling finishers. I once Pedigreed a storekeeper through the bar and looted his corpse. Ahhh good times. 

Also, not allowed to kill any other party members. I was good for cutting throats in the middle of the night and absconding with money. Although, most of my party kills came from when a friend and I were fighting over some girl (No seriously!), we all played D+D, and me and this kid were killing each other at least once a game. It got real ugly by the end.


----------



## CraftworldSurathin (Dec 18, 2011)

My assassins are not allowed to store ANYTHING in various bodily orifices.
Everyone got uncomfortable when I had to make a strength check for my sphincter.


----------



## Insanity (Oct 25, 2011)

^That seems like something my friends Chaotically Evil Gnome would do....He was cursed by a someone so now he gets turned on by EVERYTHING. No seriously we had to tie him up to prevent him from raping someone, but then he got turned on even more by the ropes.....


----------



## Count Arioch (Feb 17, 2008)

I am not allowed to base my personality from the following characters:

Pee-Wee Herman
The Angry Videogame Nerd
The Tourette's guy
Pinkie Pie
Twilight Sparkle
-{any form of cartoon horse}-
Zoe Trent
-{Any character from any girl's cartoon show}-
Short Round
Sloth Fratelli
Chunk Cohen
Redmage Statscowski
Scrubs
Black Scrubs
The Comic Book Guy
Anonymous
Chris-Chan
Kenneth Pinyan
Mickey Rourke


----------



## Old Man78 (Nov 3, 2011)

Have pokey bum wanks anymore!!!!!


----------



## revilo44 (Sep 17, 2010)

To appease the blood god and paint another army red anymore.


----------



## BloodBurner (Dec 19, 2010)

CraftworldSurathin said:


> My assassins are not allowed to store ANYTHING in various bodily orifices. Everyone got uncomfortable when I had to make a strength check for my sphincter.


HAHAHA I'm dying having heard this one :laugh:


----------



## ardias (Oct 18, 2013)

My friend Alex is no longer allowed to:
-Dig sex dungeons in the desert.
-Wear only sealing wax and a barrel.
-Try to seduce subhuman creatures.
-Seduce entire tribes of goblins as a shapeshifter.

The list grows whenever I play an RPG with him.


----------



## Nordicus (May 3, 2013)

I am not allowed to bring a Daemon Prince with wings, armor and Black Mace when playing against one of my buddies. That one guy destroys him every time, so he won't play if he's in my list 



ardias said:


> My friend Alex is no longer allowed to:
> -Dig sex dungeons in the desert.
> -Wear only sealing wax and a barrel.
> -Try to seduce subhuman creatures.
> ...


Ha! Sounds like some awesome RPGs you guys have xD


----------



## Tawa (Jan 10, 2010)

Nordicus said:


> Ha! Sounds like some awesome RPGs you guys have xD


Sounds like a Friday night around town..... :laugh:


----------



## ardias (Oct 18, 2013)

Yeah the people that I play with are insane. :laugh:


----------

