# rage quiting, how to stop it?



## connor (Jan 31, 2011)

ok everyone so as you can read from the title of this thread, im having trouble with a guy at are local game club who has so far, rage quit at every game he has played except on one occaison when he was winning in wich in that case he talked ALOT of smack to his opponent.
first off im realy annoyed by it and i need your advice on how to stop this guy form quitnig every game, i have tried just about all i can think of. he plays tau. he usualy lasts unitl turn 2 or 3 then a lucky few shot kill his broadsides or his devilfishes rail gun. then he literaly just forefiets and picks up his models and packs them away until his next game.

ok he is an OK guy, but its just his rage quiting his racking on everyones nurves, it seems that everytime something happens he has to see are codex about something he doesnt like(not that he doesnt have a right to it, but he realy rases his voice when he does)

so yes if anyone can please help me out with some advise please help me!


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## OpTi (Aug 29, 2009)

Don't play him, there's a few people who i generally don't play not because they rage but for various similar reasons such as making up/not knowing the rules, trash talking, accusations of cheating or cheating themselves like giving themselves extra wargear not on thier list etc.

If no one plays them they will either leave or change thier attitude, and this is something i don't understand. Why does this hobby attract people with nonexistent social skills, mean to actually participate in the gaming aspect of the hobby you MUST have some social skills to be able to properly interact with others.


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## Master of Sanctity (Nov 11, 2010)

Roundhouse kick to the head.....done!


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## connor (Jan 31, 2011)

> Roundhouse kick to the head.....done!


preferably non violent advice,:grin:


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## .Kevin. (Jan 10, 2011)

Call him out we had a guy who was TOO literal on the rules then we fixed him then we he became a rager me and another guy told him to prepare for a fist in his throat. 

He got better


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## connor (Jan 31, 2011)

OpTi said:


> Don't play him, there's a few people who i generally don't play not because they rage but for various similar reasons such as making up/not knowing the rules, trash talking, accusations of cheating or cheating themselves like giving themselves extra wargear not on thier list etc.
> 
> If no one plays them they will either leave or change thier attitude, and this is something i don't understand. Why does this hobby attract people with nonexistent social skills, mean to actually participate in the gaming aspect of the hobby you MUST have some social skills to be able to properly interact with others.


this will most likely be a last resort, we dont realy like to shun people, that would bring back the era of the previous Warhammer40k group, Note:they were kicked out of the store by the owner for illegal acts


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## VX485 (Feb 17, 2011)

Master of Sanctity said:


> Roundhouse kick to the head.....done!


Chuck Norris agrees with you


On the topic at hand just explain to him that its part of the game and just because he's had a bad turn that doesnt mean he should quit, come of my best games have come of this you have a bad turn only to come back and draw if not snatch victory from the other players hands.

And when he starts talking 'smack' again just remind him of all the times he quits like a sore loser. He has a right to question people but he should do it in a polite way and needs to be reminded of it. It only takes one person to speak up.

Failing that just dont play against him


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## connor (Jan 31, 2011)

> Failing that just dont play against him


"sigh" the more i think about it the more i feel that its the only way, we have told him to cool it down with the loud voice, it works. for about 5 minutes then he is back at it. 

The next day we see him he acts as if he never even played the game the previous day, he talks about how he cant wait to play the next. must have mixed personalites or something:dunno:


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## Master of Sanctity (Nov 11, 2010)

connor said:


> preferably non violent advice,:grin:


lol, all in good humour.

A lot of those sorts of people have always been that way and wont be changing anytime soon, just don`t play him or give him any sort of a attention. At the end of the day it`s just a game, the next day the sun will surely rise (well the earth will keep rotating) and life will go on, don`t let it get to you.


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## VX485 (Feb 17, 2011)

I was going to say perhaps he is not all there. In that case you'll just have to take the raised voice with a bit of salt, as for the rage quiting that could be worked on.

A good friend of mine has Asbergers syndrome and he rage quits badly, throws his dead GK at the wall (their metal so the usually stay together) but iv managed to teach him its all part of the game, a bit of maturity helps, which makes me wonder,

how old is this kid your talking about?


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

connor said:


> "sigh" the more i think about it the more i feel that its the only way, we have told him to cool it down with the loud voice, it works. for about 5 minutes then he is back at it.
> 
> The next day we see him he acts as if he never even played the game the previous day, he talks about how he cant wait to play the next. must have mixed personalites or something:dunno:


Where are his social skills? If he has trouble developing real friendships, that might be part of why he acts like it, maybe taking him aside and having a heart to heart might help. Encourage him to treat others like he wants to be treated, and to not make as much out of losing. Two of the best things I can think of to make the game enjoyable regardless of win/loss is to root for both sides, and to note where both could have improved. The latter works by shifting the focus from losing the game to learning how to play better.

It seems as if he enjoys the game, but takes losing too personally.


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## connor (Jan 31, 2011)

> how old is this kid your talking about?


my age, roughly 15 or 16. do you think its mabey (imaturity)? not spelled right.




> Where are his social skills? If he has trouble developing real friendships, that might be part of why he acts like it, maybe taking him aside and having a heart to heart might help. Encourage him to treat others like he wants to be treated, and to not make as much out of losing. Two of the best things I can think of to make the game enjoyable regardless of win/loss is to root for both sides, and to note where both could have improved. The latter works by shifting the focus from losing the game to learning how to play better.
> 
> It seems as if he enjoys the game, but takes losing too personally.


i might do that next time we go to the gaming club


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## VX485 (Feb 17, 2011)

That would play a big part in it. Maturity comes with age so you'll just have to take him with a grain of salt and let him know when he's out of line. If he's constantly looking foward to playing again then people shouldnt stop playing him (it probably means alot to him) but it doesnt mean they or you have to like it.

But i'm not saying there is a double standard though, do your best and if no improvment then dont play against him and let him know why, this is the real world and you cannot be wrapped in cotton woll your whole life


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

it isn't an issue of double standard, but a symptom of geekdom. Too often the stereotype of a geek having little to no social skills is based on a grain of truth. the problem is, due to being ostracised by those of the same age, there are less opportunities to develop those skills. By making the effort, you can both help to improve the social skills of him and yourself, and you keep another person in the community.


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## chromedog (Oct 31, 2007)

VX485 said:


> That would play a big part in it. Maturity comes with age so you'll just have to take him with a grain of salt and let him know when he's out of line. If he's constantly looking foward to playing again then people shouldnt stop playing him (it probably means alot to him) but it doesnt mean they or you have to like it.
> 
> But i'm not saying there is a double standard though, do your best and if no improvment then dont play against him and let him know why, this is the real world and you cannot be wrapped in cotton woll your whole life


Maturity is often seen as a function of age, so is wisdom.
This is not necessarily true.
Teenagers tend to have limits issues as their brain chemistry is rewriting itself (which is why nothing makes sense from a teen pov).
Mayhaps he is just taking it a little too seriously.

It's an advantage, having our club in licenced premises. It ensures that the parents actually have to come up with their kids to the room (kids cannot pass through unescorted) so we can apprise them of any issues we may have with their offspring. Also keeps much of the troublesome local kids out.

Throwing stuff is grounds for immediate expulsion and ban at my club (it's part of the club premises (that we use) regulations. Doesn't matter if it's aspergers or some other form of ASD, no excuse and you aren't welcome back.

Winning with grace is one thing.
Learning how to lose goes a long way towards making them deal with their sh*t.


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

chromedog said:


> Throwing stuff is grounds for immediate expulsion and ban at my club (it's part of the club premises (that we use) regulations. Doesn't matter if it's aspergers or some other form of ASD, no excuse and you aren't welcome back.
> 
> Winning with grace is one thing.
> Learning how to lose goes a long way towards making them deal with their sh*t.




You are saying that your club blames those with autism for their problems, thats terrible,I wouldn't take pride in this, it is as misanthropic as it gets.


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## chromedog (Oct 31, 2007)

No, we just have no tolerance of crap.

We have two kids with ASD who can behave themselves, and even operate inside the club environment. They have learned to control their urges/issues through discipline. One has even managed to join the armed forces reserves (the other isn't old enough yet). They know they have a condition, NOT an excuse.

If the child cannot control themselves, then we are not equipped to deal with them. We are not a special needs creche. It's not fair, but it's life.


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

It is another fact of life that you will encounter people who simply don`t fit with your personality. 

eg: My friends and I hurl insults back and forth as though we were orks and nobody thinks twice. It`s all in good humour, it`s kept clean if children are present and it never escalates to physical violence. However, I would never in my life consider acting this way to a new player or on a tournament scene. 

The way your group runs things may be tolerant of some things and not others. I have met a few rage quitters and they generally just need to vent frustration, usually by cursing the dice/the models/their spouse but it`s usually funny so we don`t care. 

My point? Some people you just have to accept for the way they are. One guy I know even throws dice at his opponents. We think it`s hilarious. 

But if this is genuinely causing problems, then I would advise talking it out. Let him know that it needs to be stopped, and if he starts again, then maybe YOU need to be the one that ends the game.


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## chromedog (Oct 31, 2007)

We have restrictions based on the club whose boardroom we hire.

This is the main curb on behaviour. We cannot damage ANYTHING in that room that is not ours. Throwing stuff will either damage a wall, or break a window (we are upstairs, overlooking the street, with windows down one side of the room). If we damage CLUB property, we are potentially out of a venue, as well as being liable for damages. 
We like our venue. It has food and cheap drinks, and a variety of room sizes we can hire for tourneys, etc, at member rates (discounted). I'm sorry if I'm not willing to risk that on a Nigel no-friends with psych and anger management issues. We're not a therapy group, either.

We don't tolerate ANYone throwing stuff, because we are not allowed to. It's childish behaviour, and we are not a creche (for that, they can take their kids to the local GW, 45 minutes drive away). If a grownup throws stuff downstairs, the police are called and it becomes a matter for the courts.

I've gotta admit, though, I've NEVER been particularly tolerant of ill-disciplined children. 
I am the way I am because of self-discipline (and not in the Filipino Catholic flagellant kind of way). Most of the rest of the club, likewise.


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

Fair enough. We have every respect for public venues as well but to be fair dice aren`t very damaging. :laugh: 

Besides, we are all very aware of the limits. Most of our games are at the local GW so we behave well more often than not. Means little at club meets though when no children are present and we have an enormous auditorium to amplify our creative slanders at each other. :grin:


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## Doelago (Nov 29, 2009)

How to prevent rage quitting:

Let him believe his is winning. Then on your last turn you will annihilate him without mercy with three full squads of Terminators.


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## GrimzagGorwazza (Aug 5, 2010)

Try talking to him before the game and make sure he's aware that if this carries on you won't be playing with him again. 

If he rage quits again mock him. Ask him at what point he became a girl cause he clearly doesn't have the stones to fight like a man. Ask him wether he regularly has to take tablets to stop him growing breasts. 
If that doens't convince him that his only option is to hang in and teach you a lesson in the game then make crybaby noises and rub your eyes.


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## Alsojames (Oct 25, 2010)

This happens to me a lot as well. I know 3 guys at my LGS who seem to rely on a single unit/character for their entire game strategy, and as soon as that unit/character dies, they ragequit.

Quite honestly and without a shred of humor (okay, maybe a little) I'd go with what Doelago said.


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## MetalHandkerchief (Aug 3, 2009)

Confront him about his problem. If he doesn't improve, have the manager ban him from the store/club.


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## humakt (Jan 2, 2008)

Have you tried playing a 2 on 2 game with him? Or Apoc, as this has less emphasis on winning and more on blowing stuff up.

Another thought would be to play a different game system with him if you have any available. I always found Bloodbowl to be an ideal game to teach people to be more sporting although it is still perfectly possible for him to rage quit.


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## gen.ahab (Dec 22, 2009)

Don't play with him; if he can't find a game he won't be able to get his panties in a bunch and storm off. Simple and 100% effective at eliminating your problem.

If that doesn't rectify the situation and he persists on acting like a pissy little cunt then boot his ass. That kind of behavior is fucking unacceptable for a person of his age and he should be made the learn that lesson as soon as possible.


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## Maugoth (Mar 23, 2010)

GrimzagGorwazza said:


> Try talking to him before the game and make sure he's aware that if this carries on you won't be playing with him again.
> 
> If he rage quits again mock him. Ask him at what point he became a girl cause he clearly doesn't have the stones to fight like a man. Ask him wether he regularly has to take tablets to stop him growing breasts.
> If that doens't convince him that his only option is to hang in and teach you a lesson in the game then make crybaby noises and rub your eyes.


best answer ever lol this is the option i would take:sarcastichand:


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## jaws900 (May 26, 2010)

Simple answer - Don't play him.
Helpful answer;
I think there is always goign to people like that where if thigns don't go to paln they just lose intrest or no longer want to play. We have all played someone like that. the person who's landraider blew up turn 1 so quit or didn't even try. The guy who wasn't even at the table for half the game etc. My advice is to make him pay attention or perhaps play him at his own game. If you notice him do something consitanly call him out on it and if he keeps doing it then penalise him or do it your self. For example one person has a bad habbit of messuring his tanks distance form the middle to fthe tank and then move to the front. i point this out to him once, The second time i say, do it again and your rhino etc suffer an instant glancing hit. He never does it agian and slowly he is learning not to do that as i have seen him do it less and less. Teaching thoguh lesson may help


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## Kreuger (Aug 30, 2010)

I find there are two constructive ways to manage behavior like this. And I say this from having both teaching with juvenile offenders and running a warhammer/40k league for a few years at a lgs.

1) Don't play him. And everyone at the store needs to not play him. The club or store likely has rules regarding decorum. If he is breaking those, then ostracism is an appropriate measure for somebody who breaks the 'social agreement'. If he is having fun through any of this (set up, attack, lose units, quit), then refusing to play him denies him that fun. If you deny him the enjoyment he gets from attending long enough, he won't have a reason to come back. Its rough, but so is one person pissing in the pool.

2) Does he know his actions are breaking the social agreement? If not, and that may well be the case with somebody who is a bit of a social deficit; treat him like somebody who needs to be taught. I don't mean condescend, if you can help it. When ever he does something out of line, politely, and firmly tell him so. Tell him EVERY time he does something. And be exceptionally clear. If he shouts, calmly tell him that 'shouting is not appropriate for the gaming club.' If he is caught cheating patiently explain what he was doing and why its wrong. On the one hand this might embarrass him, but on the other if he doesn't understand that he is out of line then he won't ever change. 

Effecting positive change in other people (and in animals) is largely an act of accentuating the positive. Don't be afraid to say "hey nice shot!" or use other forms of encouragement. 


Granted, if he just can't take losing that's a whole other emotional kettle of fish. A poorly adjusted player who is a bad loser is often a worse winner. So even if he gets past the 3rd turn and doesn't rage-quit, and he wins . . . how would you feel about dealing with that?

I hope that helps!

Cheers,
Kreuger


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## Stephen_Newman (Jul 14, 2009)

If he suffers from relying on one particular unit then try to get other, more experienced, Tau players to give him a much needed tactical hand when it comes to playing. He might get better and thus less angry.


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## Lord Sven Kittyclaw (Mar 23, 2009)

Doelago said:


> How to prevent rage quitting:
> 
> Let him believe his is winning. Then on your last turn you will annihilate him without mercy with three full squads of Terminators.


I would say this is the WORST way to STOP somone rage quitting.


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

Lord Sven Kittyclaw said:


> I would say this is the WORST way to STOP somone rage quitting.


Too true, especially since the person ragequitting is at the age where impulse control is almost non-existent. The key to solving the problem is to encourage a change in attitude so he will not have the impulse to ragequit when losing.


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## Viscount Vash (Jan 3, 2007)

We had one a few years back during a league play tourney thing.
He used to throw books and all that shite as well as pretty much shouting all the time.

We tried game education but that just wound him up all the more. 

In the end we we had to ask him to leave the league. He could play normal games (if someone was dumb enough to play him).

In the end it was shame that started improving his attitude his name replaced 'bye' on all the match fixtures for about six months.

After some time getting no games I and a few others started playing silly scenarios with him, pointing out that the hobby is meant to be fun and if he stressed then no one was having fun.

The other tactic was swapping sides of the table and finishing the game with his army and him playing mine, quite often beating him with his own force.

In the end its up to him though, no behave, no play.


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## Malferion (Mar 9, 2011)

40k Intervention!!!
just get with your friends and talk to him about it and try to come up with a solution without being too harsh.


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## Doelago (Nov 29, 2009)

Lord Sven Kittyclaw said:


> I would say this is the WORST way to STOP somone rage quitting.


It will prevent him from doing it in that one game, for he has no time to do it if you crush him in the last turn. Not a long time solution.


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## turel2 (Mar 2, 2009)

Talk to him about it. Try to understand why he is doing it and try to help.

Try to get him to understand winning is not everything. Its the whole game that is meant to be enjoyed.


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

Doelago said:


> It will prevent him from doing it in that one game, for he has no time to do it if you crush him in the last turn. Not a long time solution.


It will also be very likely to cause him to escalate to physical violence.


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## gen.ahab (Dec 22, 2009)

Son of mortarion said:


> It will also be very likely to cause him to escalate to physical violence.


Well, you could use that as a way to get him permanently banned from the club. Although that could lead to more trouble in the not so distant future. 

I agree though, side swiping the little turd isn't a valid way to deal with the issue. 

The easiest way of dealing with it is to not deal with it. Simply do not play games with this individual.


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## HatingYou (Oct 10, 2010)

Stop?.....why?

Watch as this person breaks in front of your eyes and hope someone got it on camera.
once a nerd rager always a nerd rager.


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

HatingYou said:


> Stop?.....why?
> 
> Watch as this person breaks in front of your eyes and hope someone got it on camera.
> once a nerd rager always a nerd rager.


I seriously question the advice of someone calling themselves anything with hate or hating in the name, especially on this subject. 

when you see someone over 25 that acts that way, it isn't 'nerd rage" it's a sign of serious social and developmental problems. 
When you see someone under that age, its a matter of impulse control, they don't have it.


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## GrimzagGorwazza (Aug 5, 2010)

Son of mortarion said:


> when you see someone over 25 that acts that way, it isn't 'nerd rage" it's a sign of serious social and developmental problems.


That's what my psychiatrist said....they never found his body....:shok::wild:


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## Killystar Gul Dakka (Mar 20, 2011)

I'm reminded of one of my old roommates, GREAT GUY, with a touch of drama queen. He would rage quit atleast 2 out of 3 games. Either because he was doing poorly, or he "just wasn't feeling it". So I believe _most_ rage quitters do have some sort of chemical imbalance, which is no particular fault of their own. 

As for your situation, try positive reinforcement (ex. "come on bud, you _could_ still pull this out"), for every model he bitches about losing, simply point out what he still does have.

Now if positive reinforcement is ineffective, try _negative reinforcement_. This can be achieved by packing a washcloth, or even a small towel into your army case. OR call him a sissy, crybaby, whiner, quitter, loser, virgin, squigshit, or whatever isn't too vulgar. The negative reinforcement will either cause him to attempt to change his _tactics_ or he will simply give the hobby up and go back to doing what he did before....which likely consisted of listing to My Chemical Romance in his bedroom, with his iPod in one hand and a razorblade in the other.

Either way you win that scenario.


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## Aramoro (Oct 7, 2009)

Are people seriously suggesting that you should call him mean names? And people think HE has bad social skills. 

The games not over till you drop that last dice, I've lost count of the number of games I've won or at least drawn from a hopeless situation. Encourage him to finish the rest of the game, just to see how it plays out as it where to show him how close it could be. If you cannot do that then don't bother playing him bit of a waste of time setting up the table etc to only play 2 turns.


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## CaptainAnarchy (Mar 22, 2011)

connor said:


> ok everyone so as you can read from the title of this thread, im having trouble with a guy at are local game club who has so far, rage quit at every game he has played except on one occaison when he was winning in wich in that case he talked ALOT of smack to his opponent.
> first off im realy annoyed by it and i need your advice on how to stop this guy form quitnig every game, i have tried just about all i can think of. he plays tau. he usualy lasts unitl turn 2 or 3 then a lucky few shot kill his broadsides or his devilfishes rail gun. then he literaly just forefiets and picks up his models and packs them away until his next game.
> 
> ok he is an OK guy, but its just his rage quiting his racking on everyones nurves, it seems that everytime something happens he has to see are codex about something he doesnt like(not that he doesnt have a right to it, but he realy rases his voice when he does)
> ...


Two options that I can recommend;
One: Talk to the store owner and the other people, teamwork is essential. Confront this guy and explain to him what he is doing and how it is effecting the experience. Now keep in mind you are not there to bully or gang up on him, just let him know you are there to help. Think of it as an intervention for being a jerk...

Two: Find a similar player who has the rage quit or a rules nazi, make them play each other and sit back and watch the most amusing game ever played. (Record on to put on Youtube so we can get a laugh too)

Hope all goes well

Deryk


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## Killystar Gul Dakka (Mar 20, 2011)

Aramoro said:


> Are people seriously suggesting that you should call him mean names? And people think HE has bad social skills.


:wasntme: I live by the creed of "be positive and nice FIRST, and if that fails, make them go away" 


I do feel that I should point out that it seems most of us who said you should "be mean or beat him up" Play Chaos, Orks, or Nids....:biggrin: and people say you can't assume you know someone by what army they run hahah....GLORIOUS


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## DivineArchitect (Mar 24, 2011)

perhaps someone should explain to him that no one likes sore looser... and that he should grow some nuts...

or you could beat him down, let him win it back at the last minute a few times to fool him into thinking he can ACTUALY win from one of your savage onslaughts....


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## The Meddler (Sep 25, 2010)

Of course, gaming is only 1 part of the hobby, another part is the fluff. You don't have to just win in the game...

Example 1: I played a game with my brother, Skaven vs Skaven (I know it isn't 40K, but it still applies). I lost all my units, and managed to kill his plague priest and a few other models. I then told my brother that my plan all along was to backstab the traitor engineer in my ranks, to kill the enemy leader who had insulted my superiors, and to have pestilens kill my master-bred so Moulder will join me in the fight against Pestilens.

Example 2: If, as Doelago suggests, 3 full units of terminators slaughters your army, tell the guy who lost that of course it was Abbadons/Hive Minds/Ghazgkulls etc plan all along to distract the enemy elites while your leader lead his best troops to kill every Imperial officer and his gerbil in the sector.

It doesn't matter if you lost the battle, every loss can be turned into a victory through use of propaganda. And if that doesn't work, tell him that he wouldn't lose so much if concentrated on improving rather than bitching about losing.


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## C'Tan Chimera (Aug 16, 2008)

The Meddler said:


> It doesn't matter if you lost the battle, every loss can be turned into a victory through use of propaganda. And if that doesn't work, tell him that he wouldn't lose so much if concentrated on improving rather than bitching about losing.


:goodpost: I always swallow my pride and follow that even in the most aggravating circumstances.


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