# chuck norris= emperor



## Huffy (Nov 25, 2008)

so i just thought of this theory that chuck norris just might be the emperor!!!
that would make, bruce lee Horus, it all makes perfect sense


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## Rahmiel (Jan 3, 2009)

No, If Chuck Norris were the Emperor he would not be in the Golden Throne, sitting uselessly. He would still be round house kicking the asses of the traitor legions.


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## Fangio (Nov 23, 2008)

And drinking beer


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## Zondarian (Nov 17, 2007)

I would like to point out that the Emperor is to weak to be Chuck Norris, although the one time Chuck fought Bruce, Bruce won so that would work. The real three peices of information that point to Chuck Norris not being the Emperor are:
1) If Chuck was the Emperor he wouldn't be using the throne to stay alive, he would use it to sit down and relax
2) Chuck would never need an army of SM to retake the galaxy, they would just slow him down
3) No one would ever even dare to turn against Chuck, not even god. From chuck norris facts book: In six days God created the Earth, and on the seventh he rested, on the eighth day he got bored so created Chuck Norris. Immediately he realised his mistake as Chuck was too powerful. Chuck was restless so defeated God took his power, and created the Devil to amuse himself. Ever since he has watched their battle for peoples soul eating nachos.


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## Fangio (Nov 23, 2008)

Chuck Norris doesn't wet, water gets Chuck Norrised.


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## vacantghost (Feb 16, 2008)

when chuck does push ups, the world goes down


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

chuck norris doesnt sleep he waits


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding


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## Huffy (Nov 25, 2008)

chuck norris created babies after he got tired of eating the same thing over and over again


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## NurglingStomper (Jan 31, 2009)

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris got in a fight with wolverine and lost his left testicle, you now know it as Jupiter.


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

Chuck Norris can believe its butter

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars Chuck Norris has more money than you


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## Ahala (Dec 12, 2008)

Chuck Norris walked into a town and got an erection... There were no survivors


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## Zondarian (Nov 17, 2007)

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only understands the element of surprise


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

chuck norris punts babies for fun


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## Huffy (Nov 25, 2008)

when playing clue with chuck norris, despite the fact that everyone knows Chuck Norris is the killer, the weapon is Chuck's foot, Chuck Norris has never lost a game of clue


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win Forever

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves


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## Rahmiel (Jan 3, 2009)

Several years ago Chuck Norris decided to bottle and sell his own urine, we know this drink as Red Bull.


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## Micklez (Nov 22, 2008)

Chuck Norris can round-house kick a $10 note into 300 5 cent pieces


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live


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## Huffy (Nov 25, 2008)

Chuck Norris invented the C-Section when he round house kicked his way out of his mother's womb


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open


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## Rahmiel (Jan 3, 2009)

Chuck Norris once shot a plane out of the sky just by pointing his finger and saying bang.


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35 he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's


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## Rahmiel (Jan 3, 2009)

Every night the Boogie man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


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## Lord of Rebirth (Jun 7, 2008)

Chuck Norris is overrated and annoying and it is a well known fact he died when he got to close to Katie.


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## Garat Jax (Dec 12, 2008)

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV. 

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress


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## Garat Jax (Dec 12, 2008)

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".


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## Fangio (Nov 23, 2008)

Not a Chuck Norris joke but still a gud'un:

When Jack Bauer discovered he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, he killed Kiefer Sutherland because Jack Bauer is played by no man.


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## darkreever (Apr 3, 2008)

To be perfectly honest, I'm failing to see how several pages of Chuck Norris jokes have anything to do with


Galahad said:


> ...discussing Canon (official) GW fluff from the codices and asking questions about non-rule stuff in the 40k universe...


Not even the first post had anything to do with 40k fluff other than the bad idea of Chuck Norris possibly being the Emperor (and Bruce Lee being Horus). Somewhere between posts two, three, and four, everyone seems to have made a leap in logic of this thread=Chuck Norris joke thread, as post five is exactly that.

Not to piss on anyone's parade but like I said before, this is most obviously not the subforum for this thread; we have an off topic subforum for shit like this.


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

darkreever said:


> To be perfectly honest, I'm failing to see how several pages of Chuck Norris jokes have anything to do with
> 
> Not even the first post had anything to do with 40k fluff other than the bad idea of Chuck Norris possibly being the Emperor (and Bruce Lee being Horus). Somewhere between posts two, three, and four, everyone seems to have made a leap in logic of this thread=Chuck Norris joke thread, as post five is exactly that.
> 
> Not to piss on anyone's parade but like I said before, this is most obviously not the subforum for this thread; we have an off topic subforum for shit like this.


your just jealous cause we dont invite you to the chuck norris party gooooshhh


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## Trandoshanjake (Jul 22, 2008)

God, not this shit again... PLEASE no!


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## darkreever (Apr 3, 2008)

Chocobuncle said:


> your just jealous cause we dont invite you to the chuck norris party gooooshhh


No; thankfully I'm not jealous of this thread Chocobuncle. I am, however, pointing out that it does not belong in 40k fluff because it has nothing to do with any of the fluff in any of the codecies nor is it asking any fluff related questions. Even if it was, almost all of you have thread-jacked this thread and brought it very much off topic.

I could easily go on and point out the whole part of where thread-jacking is against forum rules if you want me to.


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## AzraelJahannam (Jun 28, 2008)

OMG... someone kill this thread and kill it hard.

And for the record Chuck Noris would be killed by a bored backswing from a low level ork.

He is a maggot if he were ever by some freak mistake of nature to enter the 40K universe.


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## Chocobuncle (Feb 5, 2009)

darkreever said:


> I could easily go on and point out the whole part of where thread-jacking is against forum rules if you want me to.



Im sure you could but really its always fun just to be a little bit random and not serious 24/7 because I'm sure people were having fun and laughing at some of those jokes so yea you could point out its thread-jacking but some of us were having some fun so maybe you should relax


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## AzraelJahannam (Jun 28, 2008)

Or you could... you know... not screw around with a mod... darkreever is playing nice...


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

This was a retarded, borderline pointless, possibly mis-posted thread to begin with and you guys actually managed to make it worse.

Congratulations. *click*


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