# Mont'yr



## Yru0 (May 9, 2011)

*IMPORTANT:* Ok I'm just going to set the context here before I get mawled by anyone who actually reads this thing  My school gaming club was trying out a 'squad wars' campaign, a house rules game-type loosely based on necromunda, in the end the experiment was a flop  but we were all asked to write a piece for our commander and his 'gang' or 'squad', (and I needed to place this online cause my trusty USB isn't the most reliable piece of technology in the world ) needless to say, you tell a bunch of 12-18 year olds to write a piece of writing about THEIR own squad it turns into a 'Who Can Be The Most Bad-Ass' competition ...
And so this was born!  This story is set in a universe INSPIRED by the 40k fiction, so please don't kill me for the HUGE fluff mistakes I make  some criticism is nice food for thought, but the dudes are SUPPOSED to be ridiculously uber powered ... and when you compare this to a squad of space marines who went up against an entire waaagh!, or some Necrons who butchered an entire waagh!...then yeah 

3,150 words

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*Mont’yr*

In the Dark future of the 41st Millennium, man has reached the stars. Manipulative and aggressive xenos aliens inhabit the grim galaxy, assaulting the Imperium of man from all sides. But humanity prevails, and has carved out a niche for itself in the galaxy as a stalwart bastion of Terra. However, other beings inhabit the universe, un-dead beings from millennia past roam the fields of battle, and beings created out of the immaterial of emotions, pillage the material world for the pleasure of gods. Man is fighting a losing battle, and the light of Terra is fading, but not all empires in the galaxy are breathing there last. The Tau Empire is a beacon of light and unity in the face of such overwhelming odds, a young race; they have advanced through co-operation and brotherhood, following the Tau’va, the greater good. But in the dark future of the 41st Millennium, there is no peace, there is no safety, there is only war; and the Tau empire has drawn the dreaded attention of man...

The crusade was a mighty hammer striking the Tau Empire, the vast armada struck the colonies with the force of a thousand ships, and a million shells. Many of the Tau worlds were burned from the sky with holy weapons, their entire populations incinerated as they were culled like animals. On those worlds deemed unnecessary for orbital cleansing, the Imperial Guard took the ground, millions of men were thrown into the meat grinder of Tau firepower, but billions more took their place, as the factory that was Terra’s empire churned out the battalions and men at a rate that the Tau ammunition factories could not match. The mighty force lumbered deeper and deeper into the Empire, their orders were clear, every world, every being and every last memory of the heretical species was to be annihilated, as was the decree of the Imperium, as was the wish of the god-emperor. 
The man descended the steps of the Valkiyre, scowling at the undisciplined mess that lay before him on the godforsaken world. The campaign on the world was a shame to all those who fought in it, a vital supply line for the righteous crusade pressing ever deeper into Xenos space, a noble extension of the Emperor’s will. It was here where Yarrick would prove himself to his superiors, to the fools that dare underestimate him and who dare question his capability. This world had been one of the first fortress worlds of the Tau to fall, one of their ‘defences’ a pitiful excuse for a militarised world, and one that was easily claimed with a mere half a million deaths, acceptable losses. The world however, was not fully cleansed, and could not be from orbit due to its strategic importance. Tau survivors had played the commanders for fools, toying with the, acting like an army on the run, luring their seemingly endless supply of men into traps and ambushes, slowly picking them off. Soon casualties had topped a million, and then a month later supplies were running low, despite the fleet overhead, the trains were constantly raided and men began to starve. Morale was waning and the commanders were humiliated for their insolence, they were replaced by more competent men, or so high command believed. Yarrick had urged them to send him, the men they sent were underqualified, useless pieces of meat who enabled the ‘defeated’ Tau to hamper supply lines fuelling the entire crusade! Due to their ignorance, the new commanders left a hole in their defence, a weakness that they thought the Tau would never notice; a weakness that cost a battle cruiser and almost another million men. But by that point it was nothing, casualties had topped the 50 million mark after six months of occupation, more men were dying of starvation than the bullet, with all supplies being fast tracked to the front, none could be spared for the world plagued by raiders. 
After the phenomenal failure of their commander, Yarrick had been sent in. But, upon his arrival his fury knew no bounds. They did not yet trust him! They did not feel that he was up to the job! They underestimated his capabilities! HIM! Commissar-Captain Vladimir Yarrick the Third of Cadia, did not require the help of Astartes! The sight of the stormraven bearing the mark of the Sons of Flames chapter wounded Yarrick, the astartes would question his every move, his every tactical and strategic decision! Long ago Yarrick had learned that he never failed, it was those around him that let him down; humans were unreliable, except that they could take a bullet for the man behind, giving them enough time to shoot the target. Yarrick stormed off to meet his competition, the Lord General of the theatre should’ve left them a message with orders, Yarrick will have words with his superiors about deploying the marines here, on his world.
Yarrick stood over the console, analysing the data they had on the Tau resistance on the planet, when the Guard had began to pursue their wounded cadres, they had simply divided up into smaller and smaller units, impossible to track, before uniting in a devastating assault, and then disappearing into the wilderness once more. Long ago Yarrick had reached the conclusion that attacking the Tau were impossible, they had no land to defend, no HQ to guard, they were completely mobile. No, the only way to defeat them was to draw them out and crush them in an ambush of their own. Certainly some men would die, as bait usually does, but such a sacrifice in the name of the emperor is better than living in all accounts. The cursed astartes did not understand such tactical strategy, he only understood brute force in his Captain’s robes. The Astartes captain had arrived at the head of a four company force, the remaining six had to be rapidly deployed on the front with the chapter master, leaving Yarrick with the inexperience marines, men believing themselves invincible, not knowing their own limitations, it was a dreadful combination, the cursed astartes. 
Captain Halgar of the Sons of Flames space marine first company lead the seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth companies on this world, a ridiculous misuse of manpower he believed, but he will not question the wishes of the emperor, for he was his messenger. The human Commissar was a fool to believing he could out manoeuvre the Tau, Halgar had faced the monsters head on, on the field and not from some desk, the Heretics understood nothing but force, and generous application of it, as close to their faces as possible. That is why he had requested that his men be mobile, the entire ninth company waited on the battle barge in orbit, their drop pods ready on a moment’s notice, the eighth were a mechanised division of land speeders and attack bikes, with the tenth acting as armoured support, they boasted a company of three predators and a squad of terminators. All of these were capable of being aided by the seventh, which had requisitioned nigh on every Stormraven in the Chapter’s arsenal for this daring plan, a completely mobile force to charge the Tau and to utterly destroy them.
General Napoleon Von Bismarck watched the two commanders engineer their strategy, he could see the competition and contempt that the Astartes and Commissar held for each other, both eyed one another warily and with suspicion, but they would work together, if only to see the other fall. Politics, groaned Bismarck, he hated the old-man’s game. “General, the trap has been set and the Xenos scum have fallen for it, their scouts have been sighted and their main force must not be far behind.” Bismarck frowned at the holographic projection in front of him, displaying the locations of the hidden tanks and men, all being supported by the entrenched Basilisks ready to raze their foe to the ground from beyond even the Tau’s respectable range. “Carry on Captain-Commissar, lead your men to victory, but do not forget all of your assets.” His hint at the space marine not well hidden, but Bismarck had requested such a force of mighty soldiers for a reason, he had fought this Tau commander before and bore the scars of that encounter, he had lost a great many men that day and had earned a new respect for the Xenos, he did not wish the men here to suffer a similar fate. 
“Sir, the Stormravens are ready for deployment, but the Battle Barge is on the far side of this world and unavailable for this encounter, I urge you to wait until-“
“No sir! We cannot let such an opportunity go to waste, we must strike now!”, the captain looked slightly disgruntled at being interrupted, but the Marines looked disgruntled at anything, they looked at a severed limb as simply an inconvenience, in his youth Bismarck had watched as a Space Marine had beat it’s foe to death with his own severed limb, reciting prayers to the god-emperor from heart throughout, the scene was what led Bismarck to request their aid now. 
“Continue Commissar, the seventh company will have to do.” Ordered the General, he grudgingly had to admit, the Commissar was right, they wouldn’t get a chance to severe the head of the beast like this again, and for one thing the Tau learned well, especially this Shas’o. “Let it Begin.” ordered the General as he leaned into his chair, his gaze intent on the projection. 

Yarrick watched as the pulses of light suddenly erupted from the forest, the guardsmen were slaughtered, their deliberately unguarded flanks being left open as the Tau fire warriors ripped their platoon apart, slowly closing the distance to their target, forcing them into a corner. Yes, that’s it, reveal yourselves you Xenos scum, pleaded Yarrick, soon the fire warriors were clear and visible, the surviving guardsmen appeared to be trapped in a killing zone, but it was not the case. A smile crept upon Yarrick’s face; he wouldn’t even need the aid of the Astartes after all! “Now, target the Stealth Suits first, and then focus on the lighter units, remember, priority targets are the vehicles for all lemun russ units.” Ordered Yarrick, “ATTACK!”. The projection suddenly erupted into a scene of flames as the Imperial’s emerged from their bunkers and charged the Tau, hidden Lemun Russ MBT’s opened fire on heavier targets with their main weapons, the Tau were being routed, already they were in full retreat. “Quickly men! Pursue them, slaughter them all!” shouted Yarrick with glee. 
“Control your men Commissar, count your prey.” Calmly advised the Captain, Control your men? Thought Yarrick, what sort of fool is this man who cannot admit that I am victorious? Yarrick looked at the projection once more, count your prey..... “Where are the XV8’s?” exclaimed Yarrick all of a sudden, “Where are their suits?!” he was frantic now, no, it can’t be a trap! It couldn’t be! But Yarrick was powerless as the jet-pack equipped Tau emerged from the forest and surrounded the tanks, their fusion blasters demolishing the heavy armour as if it were a Guardsman’s flak jacket. The scene was horrific, the burning oil and wreckage had replace the sight of triumph, and the screams of the men who were dying in droves without their support flooded the room. 
“THEY’RE ALL AROUND US!!”
“By the emperor!”
“Tell my mother that I was wrong, I didn’t mean to run of- ARGHH!!!” Soon the radio went silent, and the projection showed the graves of men, of children and of Yarrick’s victory, it had been so swift, so exact. It was impossible.
“You have failed Commissar” growled Von Bismarck, “Captain, the field is yours.”
“In the Emperor’s name my lord.” Saluted Halgar as Yarrick stood stoically, It is impossible....


The Stormravens were dispatched, the unquestionable roars of their engines flooded the base, and the guardsmen stood in awe as the birds of prey took majestically to the sky, the steeds of a hundred knights in armour, a hundred one man armies all riding into glorious war and victory. The mighty aerial armada was escorted by a squadron of Imperial Lightning fighters, put to shame by the majesty of the Stormraven gunships as they rose into the beckoning sky. However, even these creatures of the air were dwarfed as the entire base shook as a Thunderhawk attack craft took to the sky in pursuit of the armada, with two transport variants hefting a Predator class tank and rhino each. Later there would be reports of ammunition going off due to the vibrations the engines of the craft created during takeoff, and many of the spectating guardsmen had to be reassigned due to permanent ear-drum damage, but the marines were going to war.
Captain Halgar smiled in pride as the imagers showed the majestic fleet get airborne, he had not told the Commissar of the Thunderhawks, and the priceless look of horror and dismay on his face was worthy of recognition, but personal satisfaction was secondary in this attack. The Sons of Flames had suffered horrific losses at the hands of the ork hordes and the murderous elder during their last major campaign, they were written off as a major chapter in the Imperium by their brothers, looked at as one might a wounded lamb, but the Sons had recovered and were prepared to do whatever necessary to bring glory to their banner and to the Emperor of mankind. They would prove to those who doubted their destiny that the Sons had returned and they would announce their rebirth on this fickle planet, in an assault that will spell the doom of the hated Xenos Tau.
“Brother Captain, we are en route to the site of the failed ambush and we should arrive to deal out righteous punishment on our foes.” reported the pilot of the lead Thunderhawk, taking the point of the massive formation. 
“Negative. They would have been long gone by now, but set course to the basilisks, they are too juicy a target for the scum to pass up.” Ordered Halgar, just as his theory was proven right by the report of gunfire from the entrenched basilisks, it would be a slaughter, but the guardsmen should delay the Xenos for the Astartes to arrive and burn the wretched ground upon which they stand.

The mighty armada could be heard long before it could be seen, and the guardsmen defending the final basilisk let off a cheer of hope as they recognised the sound of their compatriots coming to their aid, but their leaders knew that it would be too late, as the disciplined tau fire fell rank after rank of guard, the cries of hope slowling turning to screams of pain and suffering as man after man fell. The Tau warrior looked to the sky, the Kauy’on was complete and the Mont’ka would soon fell the winged beasts, the killing blow would brighten the sky and obliterate the foes of the Tau’va in a revealing flash of light. He will surely die at the hands of the armoured Gue’vesa, but he would die in the name of the Tau’va and the cadre.

It happened so quickly that Halgar could hardly believe the cowardice of his foes, the supposedly feared enemy were breaking ranks and running at the very site of his men approaching from the horizon, the lead Stormravens deploying their battle-brothers into the frenzy of combat to cut down the unsuspecting Xenos. The thunderous roar of the mighty engines was the cry of battle and it almost drowned out the screams as the Tau infantry were routed by the power armour equipped marines. Halgar smiled, he relaxed and looked upon the field of battle, content at the rise of his men, the rise of his chapter.

The Marines chorused their prayers as they cut down the fleeing Tau as if they were insects, and the hovering Stormravens ravaged the land with fire and extinguished the lives of all who opposed the emperor. Then a single battle suit walked forth from the boundary of the forest and into the clearing, drawing the attention of every weapon born by an Astartes. The Tau soldier stood tall in his mechanised suit, the damage and wear of a hundred battles engraved on the armour and a tattered flag of the Tau empire waved from above his head. The warrior stood his ground in the face of so much firepower arrayed against him, and this gave the marines a moments pause, long enough for him to yell at the top of his lungs a bellowing order to his men, “For the Tau’va!” and in the passing second, a look of horror was plastered on Von Bismarck’s face, he knew that voice, it was Mont’yr, the commander of this world. 
“CAPTAIN! Order your men to retreat!” pleaded the General but it was too late as the sky was lit by a dozen flashes of light, the sense of dread in Bismarck’s stomach was tantamount to none, railguns, where had they been hidden? The Tau must’ve been waiting for the Imperium to make such a mechanized assault for a long time. The immense projectiles ripped through the Stormavens’ armour as if they were nothing more than paper, the whine of failing engines and final prayers of marines falling to their deaths permeated the air waves as the unstoppable force met its end being shredded by the lethal firepower of the unseen Tau artillery. Seeker missiles followed the original salvo, slaughtering any marines still standing on the ground and crippling any surviving gunships. There was an almighty crack as the fuel tank of the lead Thunderhawk was ruptured, igniting a gargantuan ball of flame that consumed a nearby Lightning fighter and the lives of thirty marines. The fire burned in Halgar’s eyes as the survivors limped off of the battle field, desperately trying to escape the range of their invisible assailants, all three of the domineering Thunderhawks had been destroyed and only three of the Stormravens still remained in any workable condition, of the almost one hundred and fifty marines of the seventh and tenth companies that took part in the botched operation, only twenty would return to their Monastery world in shame, before the complete pullout from Tau space by the Sons of flames. Their chapter has yet to recover from the losses of that day, and many fear that the chapter itself will be extinguished under the feet of a massive Ork Waagh! left unchecked without the Astartes’ interference. However, the crusade went on, and as word of the Tau victory on that world spread, the soldiers of the imperium that flooded the frontline and the Chapters that flocked to engage in war learned to either fear the name Mont’yr, or face the same wretched fate.


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

if i can suggest one thing..break your paragraphs up it makes it easier to read for example

The fire burned in Halgar’s eyes as the survivors limped off of the battle field, desperately trying to escape the range of their invisible assailants, all three of the domineering Thunderhawks had been destroyed and only three of the Stormravens still remained in any workable condition, of the almost one hundred and fifty marines of the seventh and tenth companies that took part in the botched operation, only twenty would return to their Monastery world in shame, before the complete pullout from Tau space by the Sons of flames. 

Their chapter has yet to recover from the losses of that day, and many fear that the chapter itself will be extinguished under the feet of a massive Ork Waagh! left unchecked without the Astartes’ interference. 

However, the crusade went on, and as word of the Tau victory on that world spread, the soldiers of the imperium that flooded the frontline and the Chapters that flocked to engage in war learned to either fear the name Mont’yr, or face the same wretched fate.

makes it easier on the eyes and won't give headaches trying to read it .


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## Ambush Beast (Oct 31, 2010)

*Hi*

Hi. You have a lot of talent and imagination. That said, Gothic is right. Break up your work so it is easier to take in and read. If you do a lot of work don't you want others to read it all the way through? It is more likely they will read it all if its broken up into smaller paragraphs.

Also, I notice a lot of run on sentences for Example; Soon casualties had topped a million, and then a month later supplies were running low, despite the fleet overhead, the trains were constantly raided and men began to starve.

I suggest... Because of the endless battles the casualties topped a million souls. Even though the fleet was anchored above, the supply lines were constantly coming under attack and millions died from starvation. 

Play with the twist of phrase and the turn of tongue and keep at it. That's all for now.


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