# Son of the Mangled Moose.



## Viscount Vash

*Unlocking soon in a forum near you*
Heresy Online Productions presents 
Son of the Mangled Moose.



*The rules.*

Please make your posts of some quality and think of it as a story telling thread where we all take turns.

No weapon can be taken on to the premises (this includes the beer garden and car park). It is physically impossible resulting in the _MOOSE _ or its staff taking a direct action agaisnt the individual.
The _Moose_ and staff will deal with rule breakers in this colour text. btw.

You may use anything that may be to hand in a normal pub or bar (stools etc) as a weapon.

This is not to the death its a laugh. Maul, kick, bite, scream and fight dirty but funny too!

No commitment required; if you don't post for a while you're knocked out by the last action against you, for however long until you post again.

Its a general melee so any one can get stuck in to anyone else.


The Mangled Moose
_The Mangled Moose_ is a drinking house known throughout Time and Space, from the 41st millennium to the days of Bugmans famous brew.
After the last time it had been destroyed many magical sources had been used to render it impervious to flame or sorceries, advanced machines hummed as they powered the many systems that ran the pub.
Down in the cellar, next to the sounds of the fridges and beer lines was the steady throb of the source of the _Moose's_ power.
The Rift was a gateway to any time or place thus enabling_ The Mangled Moose_ to procure large supplies of any drink known to anyone/it/thing known,
Also of course for the customers to reach the place in the, well, er the first place.
Fights are quite common in this cosmopolitan atmosphere and this is how the place has been destroyed seven times before.
Apart from that it looked like an average pub with all that you expect to find therein.......

........that was untill the latest refurbishment where the _Moose_ bought by a trendy Pub chain and kitted out as some sort of wine bar with nice soft furnishings, staff uniforms and great hulking brutes of doormen.


Lets see how long that all lasts then.:biggrin:


*Unlocking soon.*


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## Viscount Vash

The barman looked around in a state of agitation.........

Every drink known to to the Multiverse was in stock, every concievable bar snack hung from cardboard sheets behind the bar with the promise of a saucy picture of some semi naked being or other to be revealed if the punters bought enough.

The place was sparkling, the new construction of Plasticrete and Adamantium looked solid enough to withstand most forms of destuction.
The staff had been on possibly the most strenious training programs available, many had not made the grade and were now in the care of various
intstitutions around time and space, but the ones that were left are the best, the very best.
Even the funny smells of the old _Moose_ had been dispersed and the new upmarket premises was kitted out with mood lighting, fashionable artwork and working toilets.

The only problem was, he thought, was the fact that there was not much chance of the clients being in keeping with the new _Moose_

He couldn't delay much longer......

Nodding to the Door Trolls he rang the bell and the staff ran to their positions as the Trolls swung the doors open, _The Mangled Moose_ was open again and the Nurgling was sure to hit the fan.......................................................................................................................................................


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## thomas2

Thomas2 was surprised to find himself first here, and slightly disappointed there wouldn't already be a fight. Nevertheless he went in, sat down and ordered a bottle of tyranid blood,a bottle of the Emperors Finest and a glass. He mixed them up and quietly sipped the resulting drink, while keeping the half full bottle of 'nid blood close at hand for when someone tries to start a fight.


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## Silar

Silar walked in and up to the bar, he ordered a starnge beverage from another univese, _this should be interesting_ he thought to himself. His pet mini-daemonette thing wailed a him t give her/it a sip, he gave it a couple of small drops and went to sit down next to thomas2


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## sea dragons

Sea dragon poked his head round the door.

"oh a new moose"

finding only thomas and Silar at the bar sea dragon desided to keep carm for a while till more pray turned up. walking to the bar he turned to the barman.

"hey budy you don't happen to have any _Dragon demon snap_ do you"

taking up the rather large bottle of redish yellow liquid, sea dragon took a swig and settled down into a heated debate with thomas and silar about how orthodox the Ultra's are !!


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## The Deadman

Then Deadman came into the new and improved Mangled Moose and looked at the place 
"seems better than the old one i suppose. NOW WHEN ARE SOME FIGHTS GOING TO START HAPPENING!"


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## Silar

Silar was deep in his conversation with Sea Dragon when he was interrupted by a large shout from behind him. Deadman was the idiot who had annoyed him. _If he wants a fight I'll give him one_ thought Silar, he casually chucked a glass bottle at deadman. Even so the object flew right on target and with power.


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## Red Orc

Everyone in the bar paused as a large red Ork entered, blinking and shaking plaster from itself. Not from the door to the street, but from the toilets.

It seemed that the shonky decorators that the management had called in had failed to realise that one of the avant-guard conceptual art walls in the gents' was in fact a stunned Ork clutching a shoe, and had merely skimmed him with Polyfilla.

"Gizza looka cha feetah!" demanded the Ork, doing a passable impression of Mark E Smith. After all those months since the explosion, unconscious, then asleep, then sealed in calciumite, the only thought that burned in Orky's brain was 'find the git wot frew de shoe...'.

The hunt was on.


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## 40rending

_librarian 40rending_ enters the establishment and upon seeing a bloody faced The Deadman(the bottle really was on target) standing in the doorway and a member of the dark eldar sitting at the bar with a girly coloured drink with an umbrella and smug look on his face descides on a fun course of action. after puting out a hand to steady the stuned 'The Deadman' and leaning down to whisper in his ear "have some fun" and the almost casually using his psycic power 'might of heroes' to empower the guardsman, picked him up by the back of his neck and pants and threw him across the entrance way aiming head hight for _Silar_


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## Silar

ooc Silar is a dark elf sorry
Silar saw the liberian whisper in deadman's ear, _So they're ganging up on me_ he thought, redying for the inevitable fight.


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## sea dragons

Sea dragon wasn't goin to stand for a newbie to the moose to get the first shot in thus hauled Silar out of deadmans flight path. with a crash deadman had landed behind the bar where the barman started hitting him with a slipper.

shouting to red ork "oy numb nuts, dat der humie hoo is on da grund in da bar is da git hoo hit ya wid dat der shoe" (note sea dragon is a SM so his orkish isnt that good)

taking a ball off the pool table sea dragon lobbed it at 40rend's head.


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## 40rending

_40rendings_ hand snaps up and swats the pool ball out of the air sending it aimed squarely for the back of _red orcs_ plastered cranium, after hearing a solid 'thock' and seeing red orc swearing blood oaths and generaly unplesant things he was going to do to the git who hit him with a shoe and now a pool ball, satisfied that he had stoaked that fire enough _40rending_ turned back to regard _sea dragons_, after sizing him up _40rending_ barks out a hearty laugh and yells out "well met brother astrates, barkeep once you have finished making that fellow smell like your feet and thrown him back to this side of the bar, set up my new friend and myself with a drink, whatever he wants put it on my tab i will have the SANGUINIUS FINEST 31K Vintage with a dash of cinnimon in a vase" and then strode over and took the seat next to _sea dragons_ and proceded to remove his gauntlets and helmet and hands them to one of the serving girls to put in the void safe for safe keeping.


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## chrisman 007

"Ah, about time this place reopened," said chris, walking towards the bar. There were two rather large doormen standing there. "These guys weren't here before," said chris "Oh well, they look like perfectly nice peo-"
"Push off small ass!!" shouted one of the door guards at chris.
"Ahem," said chris "I'm a long term member. I'll show you my card." chris rummaged in his bulging pockets for his members card. Then he remembered. He'd left it with deadman. "Err..." trembled chris "Sorry to bother you." Chris walked up to the window. He saw deadman. "Psst! deadman!" deadman looked at chris. "What?"
"You've got my members card!"
"OH yeah. Here you go." Deadman frizzbed the card through the window and into chris's hand. "Thanks! I owe you a drink."
Chris walked up to the doormen "Hey I tol you to pi-" Chris flashed the members card at them "Oh, sorry sir, allow us to show you in."
"FINALLY!" shouted chris "Now, any one know where I left my beer from yesterday?"


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## 40rending

_40rending_ turned to see _chrisman 007_ walk in between to two doormen after showing some kind of membership card(probably a M.S.A membership card)(Meat.Shields.Anonomus) and thought to himself this ought to be funny and yells out "its a fake card", after realizing their mistake both doormen grabed _chrisman 007_ and after stuffing him into a hesian sack and throwing him into the cloak room to deal with later went back to their posts by the doors.


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## Silar

_Lets think of the many ways to get a free drink_ thought Silar, _Ahh, he was that spparow from last time, so now for the free drinks_ he remembered.
He called his mini- daemonette thing to him with a click. He whispered in the little things ear to sneak into the room they had put chris in and cut him free, and yes you can steal a coat frm the room if you must.


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## chrisman 007

"Thanks mate," said chris getting out the bag "Suppose you want a free drink."
"How did you know?" replied Silar.
"Just one other thing," Said chris "You got an indegistion tablet?"
Silar handed over a small tablet in exchange for a bottle of emperor's finest. Chris set to work. He bought a bottle of emperor's finest (You must remember that chris is wearing his bosses trousers, don't you? The one stuffed with cash?) and stole a bootlace from the cloak room and threaded it into the tablet. _hahaha!_ thought chris _This'll show that snitch!_

Chris emerged from the cloakroom. To stop the doormen killing him, he showed them the watermark which proved that it was real, before joining the others "Hey 40rending!" shouted chris "That was a crafted trick you pulled on me, one that took considerable skill! Have a free drink!" 
"Thanks!" said rending as he snatched the bottle out of chris's hand. He opened the lid. At that moment, an indegistion tablet consealed in the bottle cap by a shoelace was loosened, and fell into the mixture. The tablet reacted with the beer and fizzed out of the bottle. All in a split second, the entire contents of a bottle of emperor's finest was launched out of the bottle into 40rending's face. For about a minute the occupents of the bar were entertained by the drenched form of 40rending staggering around trying to grasp what had just happened before he collapsed out of beer induced fumes.


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## sea dragons

seeing that the newbie 40rend wasnt such a bad bloke _i mean a guy buys you a drink_. right proper chap !!!! 4orend's coment about the fake members card almost made sea dragon fall off his chair with laughter. picking 40rend up off the floor.

"my brother several of us have such cards" flashing his own. "its from the old days, before the moose was reborn"

catching one of the human serving girl's eye sea dragon put his arm round her plump hips and wispered in her ear. the poor girl stood there giggling before running off.
turning back to 40rend.

"sweet her shift finishes in a few hours, i'm goin to get me some pie, in the back room"

ordering another round for the two of them sea dragon and 40rend eyed up a daemonette who had just started dance on a stage in one corner with no less than the original noise marine rock band.


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## Anphicar

Anphicar farts loudly in the corner.

(ah--the good old Mangled Moose!)


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## 40rending

after a free beer-bath and watching a deamonette climb a pole without hands 40rending pulls out a large pack of matches and starts to flick lit ones at Anphicar hoping for the best.


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## Silar

" Thanks chris" Silar said glefuly as he sips the Emporers finest, "Hmm not bad actually, I might take some of this home to good old Naggroth"
" Your welcome" said Chris, just before he pulled the trick on 40rending
"He he nice one" laughed Silar as he ordered another drink.
" Do you no they actually invented a machine which time realeses tablets like that into drinks, imagine the fun with one of those"


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## Viscount Vash

Viscount Vash's lithe form is framed in the door way as he takes in the new and shiny splendor of the refurbed _Moose_.

Mmmm time for a pint of Ale mutters the Viscount, as he strides to the bar nodding to the bar keep.

Before he gets there his pint is already on the bar, Vash takes a hearty slurp before he notices the large Red plastered Ork holding his brothers shoe glaring around the bar.

Wertypop's in the knarloc dung again Vash thinks to himself, could be fun.


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## Silar

Silar noted the Viscount come in, _ahh a fellow of Slaanesh ai, thats were I am when I'm in the future_ thought Silar ( due to the moose to a different age thingy malfuctioning he was beamed to the 40k universe and became a sort of elf noise marine when the noise marines captured him, ouch )
Silar walked up to the playing noise marines, he raises his handand the band leader gives him a hi-five that would break a non superhuman/elf being's hand. "I didn't know you worked here" he said
"We do now, after the moose was refurbished the pay soared, alot more for what fulgrim used to pay us, then we managed to free this daemonette and give her free will, so she works with us, our next song is called Legion Undecided, about some guy who dosn't know which god to follow."
"Hmm interresting" mumbled Silar, a little confused.
He walked back to chris.


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## sea dragons

getting up from his seat sea dragon, desided to get the party started. ordering several drinks sea dragon walked up to the newly arrived Vash and smashes a bottle of nids blood over his head. taking a near by stool sea dragon hit the lead singer of the noise marine band. 

turning to chris. "come here chris, its time for your next beating".


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## chrisman 007

"Is that so?" said chris as Sea Dragons walked towards him. At that point chris wondered whether Sea Dragons armour (if any) was the same as OXC. Chris kicked Sea Dragons in the groin. To his satisfaction, Sea Dragons fell to the ground, in agony. Chris, realizing that when he woke up he'd probably return the favour, chris bought him a drink with a note saying "get well soon, it wasn't me. It was 40rending."


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## Master Andael

Andael tried to go inside the Moose, but just like crisman he was stopped by the doormen. "Hey!. No robes."
"Why?"
"Could be weapons in it."
"So, what's your point?"
"We have to search it, if you want to keep it."
Andael looked at the doormen, who were only a little bit bigger than he his.
"that's not going to happen." And with that said he took a swing at one of the doormen, knocking him out and grabbed hold of the others head twisting his neck to the point where it would nearly break.
"Can i go in now?"
The doormen answered in a whispering voice:"yes."


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## Silar

Silar watched Chris take out Sea Dragons with growing satisfaction, his mind went back to when one of the astartes was flirting with one of the serving girls, _Poor girl, imagine the wait of an astartes, good choice of girl though_ thought Silar. To add shame to Sea Dragons defeat he placed a bottle of beer on Sea Dragons mouth, added one of the tablet timereleasing thingies to it, set the timer for when Sea Dragons would wake up, and left it there before returning to the bar, exsplosion time.


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## Kronus

Lord Inquisitor Kronus sidled down the road to his favourite after work haunt his symbol of office hidden from sight by a large brown waterproof poncho. In fact the only suggestion of his position was the ornate gold glad handle of his daemonhammer and the intricately wrought boots of his artificer armour poking out the bottom. Being only average height he and possessing a unnerving look when he needed it most of the passer bys barely noted him and those that did didn’t linger long after a hard stare. His retinue had wanted to come but he knew the barkeep wouldn't want a dozen heavily armed fanatics loitering about the place, and anyway babysitting the idiots took away from serious drinking time.

Approaching the door he noted the buckled over bouncer, shrugged and walked on by into his favourite watering hole. Ignoring the other patrons he strode over to an empty bar steel and plonked himself down and nodded at the barman. Recognising a regular and good customer the Barkeep reached towards a back shelf and pulled down a vintage bottle of 25 yr old Varian whiskey and a shot glass and placed it in front of Kronus who poured himself a shot and raised it to his parched mouth


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## Silar

Silar was pleased when his mini daemon came back from the cloak rooms with the emptied out pockets of half the coats, she was also wearing one. He placed all the money on the table and ordered as much drink as he could.


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## sea dragons

Sea Dragon final got up off the floor only to find the beer in front of him blow up covering him in beer. still feeling pain in his groin, sea dragon looked at his watch.

"F***K, im late i was supposed to meet the serving girl 15 mins ago"

walking over to the store room and flinging the door open sea dragon finds the serving girl still waiting.

"sweet, hay love you think you can rub my **** better"

closing the door behind him, a gasp can be heard followed by a sweet inosent giggle.


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## chrisman 007

Chris wondered where Sea Dragons was off to. Though after he saw the serving girl following him, he totally understood. "Ah, love is in the air," he said watching the 2. He then noticed an official looking guy drinking something old looking. "Hey, nice to see a new member of the-" he recognized this inquisitor. He was on this guy's most wanted list. And when you're on an Inquisitor's most wanted list, it usually isn't long before you're, well, dead. Chris made himself looked scarce, and slowly made his way towards the back room, trying not to make eye contact with the Inquisitor. He entered the back room, minding his own business, but inside was Sea Dragons, and the serving lady, doing (censored) (censored) censored) to (censored by the =][=). "Oh, erm, sorry for disturbing you, you look lovely tonight, by the way."
Suddenly chris remembered the trick beer bottle that he'd set up, with the timerelease capsule. It was with Sea Dragons and his lovely lady friend. As he left the room, there was a loud liquid sounding explosion, followed by a number of high pitched screams, followed by general chaos inside the back room. Chris laughed. His work here was done.


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## Kronus

He was too busy drinking to take a proper look at Chrisman at first but when miniature explosions went off he notice the guardsmen in the reflection in the bar's mirror. It was a familiar face, he had seen it somewhere before. Reaching passed the grubby poncho to one of the ornate pouches at his waist he pulled out a sophisticated state of the art datapad and started to browse. A minute later he found his name on one of his lists. Well he might as well deal with it now. Picking himself up he walked towards the guardsmen the thump of his armoured feet ringing across the floor. By the time the guardsmen had noticed him he was all put standing on top of him. He thought he saw the guardsmen eyes flicker to the door as he stretched out his arm and before the guardsmen could react, grasped the guardsmen right and shook it vigorously.

"Greetings and well done ....(paused momentarily to scan the details on his pad once more) Chrisman, the Emperor's favour has found you. You have got 4th place in this month’s System Imperial lottery. Congratulations in order. It is my honour to present you with (handing an official looking envelop) permission for 14 days leave and two tickets to take a love one of your choice on a intergalactic leisure cruise of the core systems, including a stop at Terra itself, don't forget to go to the Imperial relic store while your down and grab yourself a bargain. Also there is a coupon for a free lasgun overhaul from the Adeptus Mechanicus too. Once more well done"

He turned and strode back to bar to continue where he had left off. By the Emperor his week had been shitty, somehow a group of Guardsmen led by some jumped up officer had taken his Imperator Titan for a joy ride, causing untold damage, destroying one of his summer houses and worst of all dinging it. Even as he spoke over 2 dozen techpriests were working over time to knock it out. When he got his hands on the fool that thought he could dent his pride and joy his anger would know no limits. Just thinking of his insurance premiums would be next time made him shiver with barely controlled rage. All they had to go o was a few distorted pictures, barely identifiable. As he sat he looked into the whiskey wondering what he would say to the conclave and in its warped reflection he saw an image he would know anyway. It was identical to the murky picture that they had got from the titans internal camera's. He turned, took in Chrisman his face no longer smiles and warm greetings and said clearly and full of menace:

"You dinged MY TITAN"


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## Silar

Silar went to try and get Chris out of trouble. "Excuse me mr Inqusitor but I believe you are mistaken you see he has a twin brother and if you look on your picture ther is a slight wart on that persons face, none on Chris's you see"
Ten he said to Chris, "Hay there some people I want you to meet. He led Chris over to the Noise Marine band. "Meet the one, the only Slaaneshi Wildheads, they entertained Lord Fulgrim himself so their good enough for us, Here you have Velarion, the leader, the band and there lovely daemonette friend and dancer Valery, who I will be buying a drink for after their next performance". Silar managed to say withought even breathing once.


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## Master Andael

Andael watched the Inquisitor when he gave Crisman a envelop and when he yelled. He never liked the Inquisition. Nosy buggars. Suddenly the moose rumbled and a piece of plaster fell of the ceiling, even though the ceiling wasn't plastered, and the piece fell on the head of the Inquisitor. Kronus fell flat on his back revealling his deamonhammer. The weapon melted on the floor into a puddle that became smaller and smaller. Andael thought: The moose still uses the same ways to punish people.


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## Silar

When the noise marines had finished there song Silar took the daemonette (based on the old model cause the new one is only half female) by the hand and lead here to the bar, there he gathered in all his beers and proceeded to see whever elves or daemonnetes were the better drinkers.


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## Kronus

(OOC: Is it too much to ask people not to God Mod. What happens to my shit is for me to decide not someone else. It's fine to throw things at Kronus but whether they hit is for me to decide or visa versa. Its like moving peoples pieces in 40k, unless u have a reason such as the lash don’t. What’s to stop me stating Andael has just suffered catastrophic bladder failure and pissed out his insides and died where he stood. Nothing but I would'nt)

Kronus noticed someone, looking weirdly at them as though he was lying sprawled on the ground. Bloody Junkies. They should all be rounded up and burned along with the traitors, herectics and door to door salesman. Chris seemed to be shying away well he wouldn't get away that easily. He considered using his daemonhammer but he wanted to enjoy this. Looking for a suitable weapon, he smiled and picked up a nearby squat and chucked it headlong across the room towards Chrisman


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## Silar

Feeling rather drunk but desperatly trying not to show it Silar eached for his 8th drink, _Khaine this daemonette can drinks a lot, lucky people keep a lot of spare change in their coat pockets_ he thought.


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## Bloodhound

Bloodhound comes in and ignoring the fights sits down and orders himself some Amasec.
Casually, as if it happens all the time, he lifts his neighbour's plate to the left side of his face just in time to stop a bottle knocking him out.
He puts the plate down and continues his drink and keeps ordering more until he is very drunk.
He calmly stands up, faces the open area of the bar where people are fighting, Lifts the chair he was sitting on a moment ago and charges into the brawl yelling profanities at the top of his lungs.


An hour later he stumbles out of the front doors bleeding profoundly. He sees someone passed out against the wall and breaks a bottle of beverage on his head then walks home.


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## fatboy955

Fatboy enters walks to bar stepping over things best not metioned sits down and orders two pints and a packet of ork scratchings. looks round for a fight:angry:


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## chrisman 007

Chris saw an airborne junkie heading towards him. He ducked and the flying drunk soared towards Fatboy. There was a loud crash. Now he new that Kronus had thrown it at him. He picked up a bottle and threw it at the inquisitor. He dived behind the bar.


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## Silar

As the various items fly around Silar decides it is time to stop drinking and take cover, he drags himself and Valery over the bar to the other side, he picks up a splintered piece of glass, looks over the bar cautiously then throws the glass in the vicinity of one of the others.


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## fatboy955

:biggrin:fatboy ducks behind the bar
fatboy asks "seeing as we are all behind the bar whose for a drink?"


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## sea dragons

finally coming out of the back room, sea dragon was a mess. he had been getting his helmet polished by the bar maid, untill chris had pulled a fast one which had led to sea dragon having no hair left on his entire body because it had been burnt of in the explosion. the poor serving girl had 3rd degree burns all over her body but that was cool, the moose looked after its own and poof... the moose fixed her right up.

sea dragon re-entering the bar found that a fight was on and that like sad people fatboy and silar were hiding.

"well not for long they won't"

grabing a nearby table sea dragon, used his best baseball technique which happened to be rather good considering a glow of ominous light appeared around the table as is sailed throught the air. (the moose didn't like wimps) the table landed top first on fatboy making him drop all the beer in his arms, and giving him sleepy time for the next hour or two.


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## chrisman 007

When he saw Sea Dragons emerge, chrisman was shocked. How did the time release capsule give someone 3rd degree burns? He ran up to him "Oh, i'm so sorry, I thought time release capsules was only meant to eject the beer from the bottle into the user's face, not burn them," chris was very apologetic and was buying sea dragons a beer "Again, very sorry."
"So let me get this straight," began Sea Dragons (OOC: Is there a shorter version of your name?) "You put the capsule thing in my drink." Chris nodded, still very sorry. Sea Dragons then lashed out at chrisman, hurling him into a chair. "Hey! I bought you a drink!" said chrisman rubbing his back.


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## The Deadman

Then Deadman comes back in and seays "ok why are you all standing behind the bar?"


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## fatboy955

fatboy shows deadman by throwing a bottle at him saying as he does "welcome back to the moose"


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## chrisman 007

fatboy threw a bottle at the newly arrived deadman. Now that was just bad manners. Chris picked up a bottle and threw it in fatboys direction. "That's for being rude," Chris walked up to the knocked over fatboy and kicked him "And that's just for being fatboy." Chris walked off living fatboy riving in pain.


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## Silar

Silar picked him self up, "I've had enough of this hiding lets charge. Silar jumped over the par throwing bottles like a machine gun in all direction, no doubt getting hit many times.


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## thomas2

Thomas2 had attempted to stay calm while the battle raged, he was thirsty and not in a fighting mood, but people were throwing bottle everywhere and disturbing his drink. He stood up and cried "Right, now that you got me angry, WHO WANT SOME!" before smashing the half full bottle of 'nid blood on the closest persons head, who happened to be Silar jumping over the bar.


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## fatboy955

Fatboy leaps to his feet. Picks up chrisman drops him face first onto the bar caving his face in and making 10000% more attractive to Deamonetts :fuck:


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## chrisman 007

Well, that's what happened in fatboy's fantasy. In fact when running up to chrisman he slipped on a banana skin and smashed through the floor boards into a pool of melted cheese.


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## fatboy955

mmmmm chesse


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## sea dragons

seeing that total crazed battle had started sea dragon grabed a bottle of Magners cider and dodging several flying bottles of god knows what found a nice corner to plan his next move.

"uuuummmmmm..... how can i get the moose itself involved".

a twinkle came in to sea dragons eye, as he shouted that chrisman was under age. with great satisfaction sea dragon watched as a lump of plaster appeared out of thin air to land on Chris's head.


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## chrisman 007

Chris dodged out of the way of the plaster, wondering how the moose could tell that he was underage. So he looked in his bosses trousers, and found his ID card. "Ah, so i'm not underage am I?" said chris. At that moment, a peice of plaster dropped towards Sea Dragons (OOC: is there a short for your name?). Ah, so that was the snitch. Chris lobbed two bottles in his direction, before walking to the bar and ordering some more.


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## Silar

Silar smelt something very familiar and tasty. "Cheese" screamed Silar and jumped in the pool of cheese, at least it will be cover from glass and tasty, both daemonnetes with him climbed in also:biggrin::victory:


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## fatboy955

Fatboy yells at silar "MY CHEESE and tries to eat him


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## demon lord345

"you and you're cheese!" yelled the daemon near the door as he stomped forward towards Chris.


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## Silar

" It's anyones cheese" yelled Silar, avoiding the bites of fatboy and flying glass.


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## thomas2

Thomas2 was slightly annoyed that he hit someone's head without them noticing, but the cheese pool cheered him up, and he dived in.


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## chrisman 007

Chris stuffed yet another paracetamol in to a bottle "Damn, this is my last one, better make it count." Chris aimed at a rotten beem _well at least they didn't spuce up the moose that much_ thought chris. the tablet fired, sending the cork through the beem, ricochet past 2 others, and smashed another one. The roof creaked, and a significant proportion collapsed right on top off the cheese pool.


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## fatboy955

Fatboy dodges the falling beam,wondering if the 'Mcguyver' job with the paracetamol bottle should be allowed by the moose. Anyway he pickes up a table and throws it at chrisman:fuck:


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## demon lord345

as he made his way towards chris he lifted a table and brought it down on him before dodging a bite from fatboy955


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## The Deadman

Then without either of them knowing Deadman came up behind demonlord and fatboy with a chair and whacked them both round the head with chairs.


----------



## fatboy955

the impact from deadman's sneak attack with a chair is absorbed by Fatman's well fat. He then turns round and punches deadman in the face


----------



## Silar

Silar looked in horror as the cheese pool was ruined by splinters of wood and plasterm, dropping to his knees he yelss out " Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Darth Vader style before menacingly coming out of the pool, weilding a large meat mincer.


----------



## The Deadman

Then deadamn recovering from his punch in the face try's to help Silar but falls in the cheese pool himself. So he lookoed on the brighter side of things and found some mini-rockets to fly him out of the cheese pool and he also found a sword to cut someones head off with. So he flew out with his mini-rockets which stopped when he was above the ground so that he landed gently and slashed Abarax's arm off along with Fatboy's stomach.


----------



## fatboy955

fatboy asks the moose to rewind time as weapons aren't allowed in the pub


----------



## Silar

Silar jumpes on fatboy's back and attacks the fatsos head with the meat mincer on full power.


----------



## The Deadman

Meanwhile Chris was regaining conciousness and Abarax was down in pain. So Deadman made sure that Chris didn't see all the fun by getting another table and smashing it over Chris's head.


----------



## chrisman 007

Whilst chris was knocked out, he had a really weird dream. He was in a bar with random members of the forum he used, and they were all fighting over a giant pool of melted cheese, which he then invariably buried under a pile of rubble with a macgyver style paracetamol and beer job. He then woke up, and he was in the bar exactly like his dream. "Wait a second," he said, rubbing his head "Are you guys figments of my imagination?"


----------



## Silar

"No yo dimwit" shouted Silar, trying to get to fatboy's brain with thee mincer.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy wonders why silar is attacking him with Graham Norton.Then smacks them both in the head


----------



## sea dragons

looking on with horror, S.D. (sea dragon) was shocked at the level of violence that working its way round the bar. sitting in a corner with his beer S.D. considered that writing this post might draw attention to himself.

"oh FRAG"


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman saw S.D sitting in the corner and decided to give him some of the action by throwing his beer away and tossing him into Chrisman


----------



## chrisman 007

"Hey S.D," said chrisman walking towards where he was sitting, minding his own business "May I join y-" Chris's sentence was interrupted as Deadman smashed his drink and on top of that, through the innocent bystander into Chris. Chris picked himself and Sea Dragons up. "Come on," he said to the shocked S.D "lets get that b******."


----------



## The Deadman

Realising that Chris and S.D were coming at hit Deadman picked up a table and shielded himself from Chris and S.D. And then Chris and S.D ran into the table and got knocked unconcious for 5 hours.


----------



## Silar

ooc what the hell dead man don't godmood or whatever, it's up to people whever they're character gets seriously hurt or not.

IC: Silar flew through the air as Fatboy hit him, fortunately he landed into a beer keg, which exploded all over him, "Oh I've dreamed for this day" he said happily.


----------



## demon lord345

"mmmm, beer" thought abarax as he drank deep seeing the deadman still moving however made him pick up a table and throw it at him.

i agrre with silar about that point deadman.


----------



## The Deadman

OOC: Yeh Chrisman 007 only told me today and sorry about it oh and i dont always go for you demon lord345

"Lets have a beer" said Deadman to demon lord345 "No" said demon lord345 to Deadman so then Deadman...


----------



## sea dragons

S.D got up off the floor

"oh ok ok. thats it deadman, someones going to get hurt real bad".

ripping the table out his hands, S.D turned it round and began to batter deadman into the floor. grabbing the mangled form of deadman, S.D lobbed him accross that bar in the direction of silar...


----------



## The Deadman

Silar then saw deadman flying to him caught him and threw him at S.D and when S.D saw him coming back he caught him and threw him at demon lord345


----------



## demon lord345

"what the hell is happening" abarax yelled grabbing the deadman and huling him into chris "wheres my beer!"


----------



## sea dragons

picking up 2 bottles from the bar S.D walks over to demon lord. smashing the top off one of then on deadmans head. he hands it to demon lord.

"there you go mate, enjoy"

cracking the top of the other bottle also on deadmans head S.D takes a long gulp of the slightly chill bottle of emperors finest.

"aaah that hits the spot"


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then gets up walks over to abarax and takes his beer off of him


----------



## demon lord345

"my beer" abarax screams hitting the deadman over the head with the tankard "don't bloody touch my beer"


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman gets 3 bottles of beer and smashes 1 over the head of Abarax gives 1 to S.D and also gives one to Chris


----------



## demon lord345

"uuugh, wheresh my beer" he slurred stumbling over to sea dragons "do you have my beer?"


----------



## chrisman 007

"Here's your beer," said chris smashing it over Demonlord's head.


----------



## demon lord345

abarax grabbed a chair and hit chris with it " thanksh for the beer" he slurred before throwing chris across the room.


----------



## The Deadman

Only for Deadman to catch him and throw him back at abarax who didn't realise he was coming back at him and got hit in the back of the head by the flying Chris.


----------



## 40rending

40rending was very ammused watching to flying bodies being thrown from one side of the room to the other and after drowning 20 pints of _SANGUINIUS FINEST 31K Vintage _(blood packs for the lay man) descided it was time to join the fight. after using his psychic power 'wings of sanguinius' gets *demon lord345* in a bear hug and leaps for a chandelier 5 storys up laughing like a madman the whole time. upon reaching the chandelier and depositing his enebriated cargo, smiles at *demon lord345* and politely says "im aiming for the kiddie pool full of cheese where are you going to land" flicks him between the 'eyes' and does a backflip of the chandelier (in terminator armour) does a spectacular belly flop in to the cheese, and coats a vast majority of the patrons and ground floor in cheese, Glass shards, splinters of wood and plaster chunks. 

After seeing the mess and waste of perfectly usable cheese(guard ration packs) looks around for something to clean himself with upon seeing a large lumpy fur coat lying next to him, grabs the coat and starts attempting to clean his armour. upon hearing a muffled scream of terror and a few bone like snaps, 40rending opens up the coat and looks inside and exclaims *'I know you, didnt you use to be called "Gizmo". i guess Silar forgot the no water, no food(cheese) but i guess he doesnt have to worry about the bright light bit does he' * and procedes to feed him some cheese and throw him/her/it to silar with a malevonant grin.

http://www.nerf-herders-anonymous.net/Gremlins2Daffy.jpg


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman gets another beer and smashes it over the head of Abarax and giving 2 beers to Chris and S.D.


----------



## Silar

As his own daemonete hits him in the face a drunk Silar begins to shout "I've had dreams about this, raining 'warm nights' he laughs/jokes.


----------



## Galebread

With a rhythmic flip-flopping followed by the sound of metal crunching whatever is in the way, Galebread barged into the tavern/club/bar/place-of-the-flying-things with a section of a lamppost under his arms. Blinking for a moment and shrugging at the next, he busted his way to the counter through the destruction, throwing his lamppost part at a random direction.

"Get me a bucket of the strongest _Vortex's Best Warp Vodka_ you have, lasagne flavour." His voice boomed at thin air, but then a full barrel appeared before him and he immediately took a swig at it, a few gush of alcohol pouring down his power armour. "Yar! That's that good stuff."


----------



## sea dragons

S.D wasn't very happy with this new arrival, he had quite happily drink beer that others had got him and was quite pissed by this point. (i mean, he's been in the bar since it openned). a lamp post had landed on his head and thus had dropped his beer.

"oy, u. new gu..<hik>..y. what you play..<hik>..ing at?? hey??? that....urt <hik> 

thus grabing the lamp post that Galebread had hit him with S.D lunged forward to strike Galebread on the head. being as pissed as he was S.D missed and only managed to smash the barrel Galebread was drinking from.


----------



## Galebread

Galebread was going to down another gulp from his barrel of 'good stuff', intending on ignoring the dithering numbskull that couldn't speak clearly. Though his mood was fouled when said barrel promptly exploded in his face, blasting vodka everywhere with a healthy dose on him. He stared at the lamppost, then at S.D, and growled as he lunge at the man in fury. "For the barrel of vodka!"


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman picks up the barrel of vodka and throws it at Galebread.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris had noticed that S.D was really drunk. Probably drunk enough for a well placed poke to knock him over. Chris gave S.D a poke and he fell over, still babbling about his drink.


----------



## thomas2

It appeared Thomas2 had fell asleep in the cheese pool, and he hardly done any fighting. He promptly got out, using the Guardsmens leg to pull himself up, pulling the guardsman into the cheese. He then grabbed a barstool and chucked it at the fighting S.D and Galebread.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman hit thomas2 in the head.


----------



## demon lord345

abarax wacked deadman with a table


----------



## The Deadman

But Deadman grabbed it off of abarax and hit thomas2 with the table that abarax was going to hit Deadman with.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 was mearly stunned by the 2 hits from the deadman, and quickly recovered, allowing him to begin a bombardment of 'nid blood bottles.


----------



## The Deadman

But Deadman ducked and Abarax took the bombardment for Deadman then after the bombardment had ended Deadman got up and kneed thomas2 in the balls.


----------



## Silar

"ARRGH WE BE SPACE PIRATES" shouted silar in a piraty voice, he was wearing a hat stolen from the hat stand which looked like a big cowboy hat with a feather in, an he was weilding a bottle which he had carved into a miny cutlass.


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then saw that Silar was in the mangled moose and went over to him and said. "Do you want to join me in beating people up?" asked Deadman.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris woke up. His head hurt like hell. He had had an odd dream, or was it a nightmare? Anyways, the dream involved endless exams, stuck in hot sweaty classrooms filled with people that smelt funny. Then he got really sick, and then turned into a old looking mango.

Anyways, chris suddenly remembered what had happened: that he was in a rapidly solidifying pool of melted cheese. He got out by using his perfectly positioned adversary (A.K.A: thomas2), grabbing his leg in the same fashion, and watching him flounder in cheese. "That's for putting me in cheese!" shouted chris.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Chris didn't realise how close he was the edge of the hole and fell in the cheese.


----------



## Initiate

Initiate entered the bar with his usual swagger. He propped himself on a stool and ordered a drink, "Space Wolf brew bartender." the astartes demanded. 
"We dont have any." The bartender answered. Wrongly as it turned out. Initiate grabbed the man by his skull and threw him and hit deadman and silar who stumbled and tripped into the cheese as well. Realizing what he had done, Initiate laughed until tears came down his cheeks and drank all the radiated, volatile rum the bartender kept in a safe to protect customers.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman grabs Initiates leg and pulls himself out and then pushes him in and gets thrown back by the force of him pushing initiate (so he didn't fall back in) and he then left.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 realised the Deadman has Godmodded (saying what over people do) so punched him in a way he could not avoid, or cause to hit another person, while he was leaving.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman turn around and smacks thomas2 with a steel chair and left without anyone else hitting him.


----------



## demon lord345

the abarax drifted up and hit the deadman with a beer bottle


----------



## The Deadman

OOC: didn't you see what I said demon lord345 "and left without anyone else hitting him"

Then Deadman grabs a steel chair and hits abarax in the temple and left without anyone hitting him


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 grabbed the steel chair The Deadman had left behind, and left. He meet The Deadman outside.
"If anyones gonna be doin' any 'it an' running it's gonna be me, and I don't know why I've suddenly got meself an accent either."
While saying this he hit The Deadman with the chair (which DIDN'T miss or end up hitting anyone else, it's only us there) and ran off without being hit, back into the bar where he waited by the door to hit the next person who came in, hopefully an angry Deadman.


----------



## The Deadman

But infact it was Abarax who went outside for no reason and then decided he'd go back in which resulted in him geting hit with the steel chair. Then Deadman ran at thomas2 and speared him resulting in him having at least some hurt ribs.


----------



## thomas2

(Am I going to attempt to say what was wrong with that post? Firstly the being it you going outside, not only did I say it in my post but you yourself said you did it and enforced that point when Abarax said he hit you. You can't have you not going outside without him having hit you earlier. Secondly you are NOT allowed to control other people and saying Abarax went outside is just that. Also you in ignored 'didn't end up hitting anyone else' in my post, yet complain if people ignore anything in your posts. In addition you are not allowed to say what other peoples injuries are, it's up to them. here's a follow-up post in your style, from my perspective. "But what he thought was Thomas2 was actually Abarax, and apparently he didn't go outside without getting hit, so Thomas2 hit him, and it was him with no doubt, with a steel chair so hard it decapitated him." I've gone close to neg repping you, but I rarely rep. Until there are some decent posts, which obey the rules I'm not going to post, infact I'm going to hardly be reading this thread, just skimming for a attempt at a good post so anything you say about me I'm not going to bother to read.)


----------



## The Deadman

OOC: OK I thought you could sorry  (but nobody can hit me until i say that i'm back in there though)


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman walks through the door only to find that the bar was empty so he called some of his mates and told them to come to the bar but what he didn't tell them was that he was looking for a fight and was going to beat them up as soon as they got through the door.


----------



## zaceee

Zaceee walks in slightly bewildered , decides to go to to bar and ask the barman for a bottle of stunty stout , he then downs it in one and immediatly falls over the bar into the dishwasher .... he then proceeds to get out of the dishwasher and tap deadman on the shoulder


----------



## zaceee

after tapping deadman zacee immediatly catches his expression , grabs an empty bottle breaks it and shoves it in deadmans vitals


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris stood up onto a table, very drunk, and holding a seemingly cracked beer bottle. "I hereby degree," he shouted drunkenly, before burping unnecessarily loudly "That I am...BURP....this bar's.....BURP....official Magyver." Many of the bar's occupants were confused by this statement. Chris had been muttering on the floor about cheese and for some odd reason, the dark ages (there must have been a power cut, or he'd passed out). But it looked like he was going to do something a little more extreme....

"My first act as Macgyver....Hic....is.....Hic....THIS!!!" He pulled out a slightly larger looking Headache pill, put it into the slightly cracked bottle, and it started to fizz. However, the bottle wasn't in good condition, and started to bulge as the reaction grew larger. 5 seconds later, the bottle exploded, sending fizzing fragments flying in all directions, which smashed through other bottles sending more fragments in glass chain reaction of doom. 

When everyone got back up from almost being ripped to shreds they were entertained by the smelly, transfixed, and cut form of chris, still holding a broken bottle and covered in fizzing alcohol. "Err...Ow."


----------



## zaceee

zacee disagrees with chrisman and decides to run a sepeerate campaign , this campaign consisted of arguing with his own teeth for who was the brains behind the party thenjumping into a barrel of whiskey and lightning a waterproofmatch underwater , thus blowing himself into the roof , a large piece of plaster subsequently fell on chrismans head.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman takes the piece of plaster off of Chris and decides to throw it up at Zacee sending him flying through the roof even more and also making him fly out into space.


----------



## zaceee

zacee eats a passing alien as he's flying through space and then slightly unsure of himself , deciees to divebomb right back to the moose where he hits the deadman with astronomical force , also knocking several glasses out of nearby drinkers hands , zacee then stands up and punches his own lights out .


----------



## solitaire

An elegant figure entered the room dressed in a full, multi coloured holo suit and walked towards the bar, stepping over anyone or anything that fell in his way without a second thought. "I'll have a bottle of Grog" muttered Solitaire. He turns round to see a drunk Chrisman vomit over his freshly polished face mask....."I think we need to have a little chat" was the only response Solitaire murmured before dragging off Chris by his hair and into the bathroom......


----------



## chrisman 007

"AHHHH!!!! Ow, ow, ow, not the hair, NOT THE HAIR!!!!!" said chrisman as solitare dragged him into the mens room. Seeing that he was probably going to beat chris up (or rape him, he didn't know), he had to get out of this situation somehow. "Listen solitare, ol' buddy, ol' pal," said chris, trying to get solitare to put him down "How about I clean up that vomit and I buy you another round of grog, no?"


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman comes into the mens room and sees what's going on. "What's going on in here then oh wait it's none of my business so I'll just be going back outside where hoppefully none of you guys will follow me." So he then walks out and hits zacee in the head and orders a pint of Emporers finest.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire carefully listened to Chrisman's offer and weighed things up in his mind. _"Grog or Rape, Grog or Rape, Grog or Rape"._
"You got yourself a deal" he said and they walked back into the bar.


----------



## The Deadman

Then just as they were leaving Deadman (still looking for a fight) was sat at the bar and when Chris walked through the door Deadman threw his empty bottle hitting Chris in the balls.


----------



## zaceee

zaceee wakes up from his revery and mutters something about never flying again , he then procedes to sytematically sight out every customer for a potential pilfering and seeing none who looked easy to rob , ran up to the bar armed with a fake id and ordered himself a bottle of grot bllod. then , after weighing up the options instead of drinking hte grog , he threw it at solitaire's face then he picked up several plates and threw them frisbee style at chrisman and the deadman. he failed to hit all of his three targets and so having now grabbed their attention , unveiled his master plan , he grabbed several knives from the dishwasher and threw them at the darts board , getting and incredibly lucky 180 , whilst the onlookers were amazed , he ran straight to the toilets and locked himself in a cubicule and started to shiver in fear.


----------



## Jezlad

> whilst the onlookers were amazed , he ran straight to the toilets and locked himself in a cubicule and started to shiver in fear.


Jezlad yells in surprise "Get the hell out my shitter!" and beats Zaceee around the head with a half used bog roll.

He grabs up the toilet brush and rushes into the bar, trousers flapping around his ankles "lets go!!"


----------



## zaceee

zacee wondered why he got hit with a bog roll , and unbeknownst to him the toilet was fludhing whilst he was still on it , after a small squelching sound zacee was no more ....however 5 minutes later he re-appeared , out of the guiness tap in the bar.... slightly bent out of shape and extremely annoyed , in his fury he threw a packet of nobbys nuts at the semi naked man in the middle of the bar - then he threw a chair and several forks , most missed but one fork hit the poor guy in the vitals ... zacee grinned with malice then hid in the dishwasher


----------



## solitaire

After having Chrisman scrub furiously at his face mask, Solitaire finally gave up trying to get the vomit out anytime soon. He slipped on his spare when noone was looking and put the dirty one in the dishwasher without bothering to check what else was in there. He then switched it on.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel blew the front doors open in a hail of bolter fire and marched into the middle of the main room.

"Did I not lay waste to this bar before? If so I have one question. Where, in terra's name are my dancing Daemonettes?!?!?!?!?! I demand that they start dancing NOW! Give me some rum you lowsy ingrates...."


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris dropped on the ground, his balls pulverised. "Hey," he said to deadman, his voice unusually high "I gave you rep!"


----------



## The Deadman

Yes, that was after I hit you

Deadman hits Mater Kashnizel in the balls with a broken bottle


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire looks at the bottle Deadman had hit Kashnizel with then said "Hey, That was my bottle of grog you son of a bitch!" Solitaire turned round searching for a weapon and decided upon a cue stick lying on the snooker table. He smacked Deadman round the face with it knocking him over the counter and then leapt on top of him beating at him furiously with it, pausing only to yell "Yo Kashnizel, wanna lend a hand".


----------



## The Deadman

But then Deadmanbeat them both off of him and hit them both round the head with a bottle before jumping over the other side of the bar to shoot some pool.


----------



## zaceee

zaceee came spluttering out of the dishwasher carrying an extremely overused face mask and decided to use guerilla combat , he put the mask over deadmans face , silencing him and then took the pool cue and shoved it where the sun dont hsine , he then sneakily stole a bottle of grog and sneaking up behind solitaire , emptied the contents of it down his back , he then absent mindedly hrew a match at solitaire who caught fire , andf then zaceeee , his work done , went to the carpark to look for any vehicles that were unlocked for an easy escape


----------



## The Deadman

But he couldn't find any and Deadman came out found a rocket launcher and blew up the car that was right next to him after putting out the solitaire fire.


----------



## chrisman 007

(OOC: There are no weapons like guns and lasers, deadman, red the first post)


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel's Power Armor deflects the hit. 

"Foolish human!"

Master Kashnizel rams a chair leg through deadman's chest.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire watched the currant fight with a mixture of boredom and, well more boredom. He sighed and thought "I could have gone to the Drunken Clown, they play cards there, but no, I had to be different, I had to go to the bar with all the wackjobs and..... Wait a minute!"
"HEY" Solitaire yelled " Anyone wanna play a game of cards. Though I only think its fair to wrn you that _I never lose_


----------



## chrisman 007

"Yeah, sure," said chrisman "As long as we use _my_ deck..."


----------



## solitaire

"Great! I like to watch and laugh as people foolishly try to beat me with their cheat decks, but of course, your not going to cheat, are you?" Said Solitaire as he flipped a coin onto the table. "So then, how much you gonna bet?"


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman pulls the chair out of his chest (his chest instantly heals) and rams it through Master Kashnizels Central Nervous Systemcausing him to hit himself repeatedly.


----------



## solitaire

The two fighting nut cases landed and then rolled off the table Solitaire and Chris were playing cards on, "HEY! I was winning!" yelled Solitaire before throwing his chair at Master Kashnizel and then throwing Chrisman's chair (with him still on it) at Deadman!


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel calmly stood up and pulled the chair out of the back of his neck. He looked at Deadman first and then Solitaire second. Without a moment of thought he clenched his fist and punched a bloody hole into Deadman's chest.

"Wow your really hurt! Do you desire the Emperor's peace?" Kashnizel asked Deadman. 

Without waiting for an answer Master Kashnizel rammed his Narthecium and Reducter into the back of Deadman's skull, ripping through his brain and CNS (Central Nervous System) instantly killing Deadman.

"Yeah i'll join in on your card game." Kashnizel told Solitaire and Chrisman.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Whoa!" said chris "That rocked! Throw me again!" But as the game of cards was growing and it was obvious that chris enjoyed the attempt on his life, chris sat down and started playing. "I'll deal," said chris, as he handed out the cards. He checked his cards. 4 aces and 3 kings. His deck was working as usual. Chris kept a cool poker face, and looked as if nothing had happened. "Got any fives?" asked chris to solitare. "Go fish," he replied.


----------



## solitaire

A little while later Chris and Kashnizel were surprised to find that despite all their cheating Solitaire had beaten them! He was just gathering up all the wagered money when a book titled _'How to Cheat for Dummies'_ fell out of his pocket and landed face up on the floor. Solitaire was silent for a moment, then he said "Shit", grabbed as much of the money as he could and tried to flee, however he ran right into a pillar that just happened to be right behind him and fell to the floor spilling coins everywhere and with a crack in his face mask.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Damn it!" shouted chris "I didn't think there was a way to cheat at go fish!" Chris watched as coins, book, and much of Solitare's face mask went flying in the air. Chris dived onto the ground, and in all the confusion gathered up a lot of the loot, and picked up the book _this looks useful_ he thought, as he shoved it in his pocket.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman reappears from his vacation and hits Chris in the face and steals all the loot before going on another vacation *without getting hit on the way out of the pub and on the way to the airport.*


----------



## zaceee

zaceee woke up from the whole car park fiasco , adn seeing no means of escape walked back into the bar , seeing lots ofm oney on the lfoor he immediatly picked up a few coins and rolled them into his knuckles , making a makeshift knuckleduster , he then picks Chrisman up from the floor and punches him in the face . Cursing his stupidity and nursing several cracked knuckles , zacee stomped into the womens tioilets looking for a Daemonette to "heal" him. several minutes later after a large Flash of purple light , zacee came flying out of the womens bathroom with a small " Woomph" landing beind the bar in a large pile of grass. he looked at his back and saw he was more pierced than porcupine . he had also smashed several bottles of alchohol on impact and was soacked to the skin. whilst attempting to pick the glass out of his back , he slipped on some old puke and fell into the rather large log fire , " oh shit" he said and ran , aflame into the mens toilets were he drowned himself in one of the stalls. he then flushed and was spurted out of the guinesss tap in the main bar room. reminding himself never to order guiness again , zacee decided to employ that most ancient of combat moves , the low blow and started to look for anything that was small enough to surprise and get a good solid kick on!


----------



## chrisman 007

The beating chris got made him feel faint. He felt as if he was going....going....going. Suddenly a respawn counter appeared at the bottom of his vision. bop, bop, bop, BEEP. He appeared at the other end of the bar, now armed with a bottle. "Wicked!" he said, running into the rest of his opponents.


----------



## zaceee

seeing chrismans , Halo-esque respawn , zaceee looked around for any weapon at hand , failing to find anything except a rather decaying sock , zacee had no choice but to stand in the middle of the melee saying "ohshitohshitohshitohshitoshitoshitimgonnadie!"


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman ran towards zaccee, solitaire and the others screaming at the top of his head waving his bottle around. He stabbed at solitaire, and spun around to face the screaming zaccee. Suddenly he smelt something. Something bad. The sock. The effect was like tear gas, and chris dived behind the bar, splashed a very strong smelling Vodka over his face, and ran back into the maelstrom.


----------



## zaceee

realising he was carrying the airbourne equivalent of hurricane katrina in his hand , zaceee took advantage of his stink by grabbing chrismans face , then shoving one end of the sock up each nostril , he then grabbed a Buxom waitress and decided to take her too the back room for some " Fun " giggling with anticipation zaceee left the room and very soon several snarling noises were heard , zacee ran out of the back room screaming , again , his trademark comment ( ohshitohshitohshitohshitoshitohshitoshitohshitohshitimgonnadie) he hadnt realised the waitress was a assassin out to get him for several cases of armed robbery assault and impersonating the emporer ( dont ask!) she was carrying an extremely large sword , zacee , the ever resourceful guy , found the second decaying sock of doom and shoved it in the waitresses helmet , then closed the visor , she went out like a candle in a swimming pool , he then put her head INTO a blender and pressed the smoothie button ... severeal gristly noises were heard and zaceee , forgetting to put tthe lid on the blender , was soon covered in gore ... " this i dont need" he said and ran into the toilets and took the guinnes route again , making himself extremely clean , he then realived all those too drunk to move / fight back of their wallets , spare change , car keys , ID's and for some reason their pants and ran out of the building to catch a bus.


----------



## Dirge Eterna

Dirge Eterna, still sitting near the door with drink in one hand and bolter in the other, tripped zacheee on his way out the door.


----------



## khorneflake

khorneflake, the new bartender, shouted"no guns in my bar" and ironicly, checked to see if his hellGUN was loaded.


----------



## luthorharkon

luthorharkon plodded into the bar, ignoring the incredible battle of bodies around him and proceeded to order a pint of guiness and some pork scratchings.
He sure did hope that the hellgun the bartender was holding wasn't loaded though...


----------



## solitaire

The perfectionist Clown known only as the Solitaire woke up underneath a bar stool _how long have I been here_ he thought to himself before saying to the bartender
"I feel like eating some cereal. Do you have Cornflakes?"


----------



## luthorharkon

luthorharkon was suprised to see a rather beaten clown walk up to the bartender and ask for cornflakes, as he took a sip of his guiness. "That's strange?" he thought "Tastes a bit like chicken?"


----------



## khorneflake

"theyre frosted blood flakes theeeyrre.. good enough"
as the clown took her cereal, he noted a rather creepy guy looking at his loaded hellgun.
he nodded as if to say, "yes its loaded, pull a gun out, see what happens"


----------



## solitaire

as the clown took *his* cereal 

At hearing the error in gender Solitaire took out his frustration on luthorharkon by swatting him on the back of the head with his hand.


----------



## Ferogg the Engulfer

ferogg strolled up to the door humming through his vox grill and the mark of khorne glowing on his shoulder calmly. he swung open the doors finding a librarian sitting at the bar and a guardsmen heading straight for silar a local to the tavern. ferogg though to him self 'just like old times'. the librarian seemed rather smug looking and ferogg decided that this was enough smiling for one day. feroog strolled gently up to the bar slammed his fist on the side.
'can i have a large bottle of eldar blood' 'coming right up' said the barman. ferogg turned to the librarian, smiling in side his armor. ferogg moved gracefuly fast smashing the bar stool across the librarians face. as the librarian fell, ferogg took his place at the libraians stool and downed the bottle.


----------



## luthorharkon

Having just been twatted in the back of the head by the clown Luthorharkon decided that enough was enough. He already had to put up with all these alien monsters and space freaks as they were.
He lashed back with fists and smashed the clown squarely between the eyes. He then proceeded to hit the clown over the back with his bar stool and repeatedly kicked it in the stomach screaming, "How'd you like me now! FUCKER!"


----------



## khorneflake

after not being payed for barely anything drunk,thrown, or broken, he told everyone that no one could leave till it was all payed for.
and the moose agrees


----------



## luthorharkon

_Upon hearing the barmens voice luthorharkon stopped kicking the clown and turned to the barmen, thrusting a fiver onto the counter and then turned back around, smashing yet another bar stool over the alien performer and continuing to kick it, but in the groin this time, hoping he might get more of a reaction._


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire stood up despite all the kicking and looked at Luthorharken.
"Do you have any idea who I am?" He said sullenly "I am the Harlequin Solitaire... and... Wait a minute I'm expected to pay how much for my Cornflakes? That's over double what it was 2 weeks ago! You Bastard!" His face mask showed no expression though it was obvious he was angry. He proved this by knocking the Barman to the floor and clubbing him with with a barstool. . .


----------



## luthorharkon

Surprised by the clowns rather eratic reaction. Luthorharkon slowly edged away, noticing that the doors to the bar were still open. He decided that he'd leave. When he got outside a rather large man grabbed him and the two shot off together towards a thunderhawk gunship.
He thought to himself, _"Even the taxi service is fucked up."_ and then ascended to the heavens, never to be seen again.
Until next time.


----------



## khorneflake

as khorneflake was being beaten, he was going to pull his hellpistol when solitare was lifted into the air. "the moose takes care of its own very well", khorneflake mumbled.he asked the moose to let her down and it did. however, to deter anyone from beating him senseless again, he pulled his hellgun.


----------



## solitaire

> He asked the moose to let *him* down and it did.


:angry::angry::angry:


----------



## khorneflake

(OOC)anyway, to get things started again...

a random stranger punched luthorkorn and pointed at solitarewhen he looked around. then he left as quickly as he came.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 stood up after his long period of... what? The various bottles scattered around told it all. He'd attempted the 'Drink Yourself Round The Eye of Terror' game, and had got halfway to Cadia without dying, which was better than the rest of the people involved.

Still working off the effects of 'The Drink of Change' and a particular strong bottle of 'Nurgles Rot' he went up to the barkeeper and made his orders.

"I've had a bit too much Chaosy drinks, could I have a bottle of 'The Emperors Cleansing Promethium'? Oh and for your own safety I hope that's not a weapon. I have a very dim view on those who bring weapons. I would say ask the last guy to do so, but somehow he got nailed to the outside of the bars door with his needle pistol and I know you wouldn't like to desert your post."


----------



## khorneflake

khorneflake whispered, "its a toy gun" i got it from my nephew. he gave thomas 2 the promethium after he got paid for it...


----------



## Kronus

Inquisitor Kronus was busy burning heretics and Daemon worshippers as usual. The Imperium was full of the bleeders (Kronus unfortunately for the Imperiums inhabitants saw heretics everywhere) and it was his duty to hunt and eradicate the ill begotten scum. 

On the 78th of the morning, declared extremis diabolis for coughing in the Inquisitor lords vicinity a calamity occurred his incinerator run out of fuel. How on earth was he to burn heretics alive without fuel. He could chop them with his power sword he supposed but where was the fun in that. It was then he heard the words promethium spill from a nearby tavern door. Perhaps he could get it restocked, it would certainly save a long journey back to his black ship (well actually a round trip of around 5 minutes including a teleport there and back but Kronus was a lazy bugger). Sighing he turned to enter the pub while signaling to the nearby Inquisitorial Kill team to take the poor unfortunate soul behind there nearby chemcial sheds and shoot him. Walking in his rediculously polished seal of office clearly revealing his identity and causing many a patron to carefully melt into the shadows hoping the thoughtless Inquisitor would quickly leave and go torture someone else. Turning to the barkeeper he said,

"Promethium did you say. Brilliant" and slapping the incinerator on the counter he said "Fill her up if you will, I got another 600 heretics needing to be burned before the end of the day and they arent going to do it themselves"

(p.s dont worry about weps, I will have the moose turn them into something amusing shortly at which point the inquistor will begin his exhasutive search to find herectic responsible. Doubtless nearest person who looks at him the wrong way)


----------



## Fenrakk101

Fenrakk walks in, looks at the chaos around him, and nods. This looks like a beautiful place, he thought. He kicked the leg off a stool and threw it. It hit the side of a bottle of Nurgle's rot. The bottle spun and fell on the counter in front of him. He drank all he could and left, planning to return soon.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris awoke. A number of bottles lay scattered around, mainly emperor's finest. The Inquisitor that he'd pissed off earlier was at the bar, ordering some promethium. He had a large flamer....thing under his arm. "Oh great, not again," said chris, getting up and going to the bar, trying not to look at the inquisitor (as not looking at all can't be looking at him funny) and asked for another Emperor's Finest. "Err...sir, may I direct you to the sign?" the bartender replied pointing at a sign saying "Please drink responsibly."


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 wandered casually past the Inquisitor. He knew he wasn't wanted by the Inquisition, wait that was a lie. He was wanted, just everyone who knew had experience some sorts of fatal accidents, mostly weapons malfunctions he remembered though he still wasn't sure how a combat knife could go wrong.

He sniffed at the bottle. Had the idiot barman given him real promethium rather than the drink? Whether this was true or not it did have a much more, how could he put it? Fiery flavour.

He swiftly recognised the recently awakening guardsman. He was a fellow long term patron of the Moose, though he couldn't remember anything else. Sitting down next to this fellow he began to remark.

"So, haven't I seen you before?"


----------



## chrisman 007

"I don't know, probably, thomas, right?" said chris, extending his hand in a friendly manner "I'm chris, and for some reason the bartender says I shouldn't drink any-" Chris didn't finish the sentence. Instead he slammed onto the bar, out cold, for a few minutes, snoring very loudly. He then promptly woke up, with renewed vigor. "Bartender, 2 pints o' Emperor's Finest please, and none of that "Drink Responsibly" crap," the bartender, slightly reluctantly, tossed chris 2 bottles. He passed one to thomas "Enjoy." chris swigged the pint back in a few seconds. "No-one can stop the Irish, ye hear?" he said drunkenly to no-one on particular.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire sat grumpily next to Thomas and Chris and ordered another bottle of Grog. He lifted it to his face and made to drink it however it just ran down his Face Mask(no mouth hole). He appeared not to notice and, after doing the same thing with some of the free peanuts, turned to the other two.
"So... How are things? ? ?"


----------



## chrisman 007

"Could be better, could be worse, I guess," said chris, wondering why his bottle was empty. "And you?"


----------



## plug

Plug roared into the Moose's car-park on his super-charged, go faster inter-stella mat black rat trike. Hearing the comotion going on from inside the bar, he decides to keep his amour-reinforced top hat on. The door staff, deciding not to ask him for his membership card as someone as ugly as this must be a member of the Ugly Club. 
Dodgeing the various things which were flyer around at head hight, he made to the bar and got himself a drink of his fav grog, Alpha finger. Seeing chris, and his empty bottle, he felt sorry for him and gets him a bottle too and takes it over to him


----------



## Fenrakk101

Fenrakk walked into the bar, empty handed. he drank his fill of Nurgle's Rot and left, slapping someone across the face as he left.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus Calgar walks in, Powerfistless, bolterless, but still, he entered, went to the bar and ordered some of their finest Warp Space Ale, and some of the finest Ork Hide crisps, and starts drinking and eating. Sees a bar stool and throws it in order to start a fight!


----------



## plug

Plug sees the bar stool thrown by Marneus heading for his head, ducks and sees it just missing Chris's head. Then seeing a rather smelly sock trying to hide under a table, graps it and throws the festering object back at Marneus. The sock its-self , did not object to such treatment as it enjoyed flying.


----------



## thomas2

"Ahh, do you propose a fight? Well count me in!" cried Thomas2, diving under a table.

"Barkeep! I need bottles of tyranid blood! Your strongest blend!"

While saying this Thomas2 answered the chuck stool with a hail of glass ash trays, thrown frisbee like.


----------



## plug

one of these ash trays bounced off Plugs top hat sending it towards Marneus.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus Calgar ducks out the way just in time, grabs the thing nearest to him, which turns out to be another ashtray and throws it towards plug, narrowly missing being smashed by the door...


----------



## solitaire

One of the many ashtrays being thrown around hits Solitaire and throws ash all over his gleaming mask. He wiped it clean and looked around to see that it had appeared to have come from Thomas2's general direction. The Harlequin narrowed his eyes and leapt forward, landing on the table his target was hiding under and causing it to collapse beneath his weight. Solitaire then proceeded to attempt to pin Thomas to the ground. . .


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus Calgar decided to make a sly exit and go to the toilets, for a shit. Will be a while :shok::fuck:


----------



## plug

Plug, seeing yet another ashtray heading his way decided to make a ninja style jump over the bar landing in a pool of slops causing him to slip and crash straight into the bin


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Returning from the bog, Marneus Calgar sees what Plug did and laughed and got hit with an ashtray, then picked up an empty beer barrel and threw it at the person who threw it!


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris merely sits and watches the developing fight, slowly edging toward a bottle of tyranid blood which thomas2 had stupidly left behind. He immediately downs the bottle of Emperor's Finest that plug had so generously provided, shakes the bottle of 'nid blood, and throws it into the centre of the bar. The bottle has an almost grenade like effect as it explodes, sending fragments of glass, nid blood and a confused mouse in all directions.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus calgar jumps behind the bar for cover, then picks up a chair and throws it at chrisman, and tries to aim it as much as his head as he can.


----------



## Hellskullz

Hellskullz walks into the bar wondering what all the commotion is and narrowly dodges the chair thrown at chrisman from Marneus. Hellskullz then orders two of the bars heaviest drink. He slams one down instantly and throws the other at Marneus with full force. Its going to be a long night.


----------



## zaceee

Zaceee walks in and duly note's the bar fight going on. He shrugs and decides "What the fuck" And walks behind chrisman and hits him over the head with a chair. He then Nods at Marneus calgar and Orders a bottle of Undiscernable liquid.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus Calgar gets all of the alcoholic drink from his lovely hair, then nods back at zaceee, and gets another chair and throws the chair at the bottle throwing hellskullz

There wont be any chairs by the end of the night...


----------



## plug

Plug picks himself up after slipping over on the slop. Seeing yet another dirty sock trying to hide, picks it up and throws it at Zacee.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris was somewhat disappointed with the result of his makeshift nid bomb. No one had been severely scorched, or- A highly airborne chair slammed into chris's face, making his already erratic train of thought plummet of a cliff. He lay on the floor a while, quite comfortable, before quickly diving behind the bar and picking up a bottle of nid blood. "Pass us a cork screw, barkeep." The barkeeper happily obliged. He poked a large hole in the liquid's bottle top, and squirted the liquid in the same direction as the chair, which had been where marneus had been standing. As far as he could see, he hit something, though whether it had been damaging, he hadn't a clue.


----------



## plug

When Chris dived behind the bar, he happened to land on Plug who fell with a grunt straight into the dishwasher which proceded to switch its self on on


----------



## Hellskullz

As the chair flies easily through the thrown bottle Hellskullz moves from his chair, walks over to the near by pool table, breaks a pool stick into two, and challenges all to a fight.


----------



## solitaire

Seeing the challenge Solitaire grinned and hurled Thomas at Hellskullz. Next he picked up a table and ran towards him using it as a makeshift shield/battering ram. . .


----------



## Kronus

Lord Inquisitor Kronus lost in warm fuzzy memories of the exterminatus of the hive world Gorgotha momentarily forget his purpose. However a ruckus behind him soon brought his genocidal thoughts back to the here and now. His incinerator still lay where it was empty. Damn barkeep.

"Barkeep, where there hells that promethium I asked for. Heretics don't burn themselves. If you make me wait much longer I might begin to think your in partnership with those filthy traitors and it would be my duty to put you to the question"

The half insane smile on the inquisitors face had an unsettling eagerness to it.Looking to the room, he felt his hand creep to a nearby bottle as he treid to resist his genocidal need to beat things. By the God Emperor he loved his job


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris looked at the now chugging dishwasher, and laughed when he heard the muffled shouts. "haha! Two birds with one stone!" However, the Inquisitor's genocidal look frankly scared him stupid. He remembered that he had (In the =][= guy's words) "Dinged his titan" and he really hoped he wasn't feeling vengeful. So, after hearing his words about the wait for the promethium, Chris (rather stupidly) went and asked "Are you being served, sir?"


----------



## Mordeth

¨Mordeth walks into the bar, stepping over the sleeping guards (they had long ago stopped caring who entered) and makes his way to the bar, stepping over and around many unidentifical objects and people lying on the ground. at the bar he notices that the barman is gone, and serves himself with some good 'ol rum. looking around he notices the chaos, and thinks to himself that soon the Moose nr. 9 will open... shrugging, he takes off his modified Fire Warrior helmet and starts drinking 'eavily, trying to get drunk enough to dare join the figth. altough he figures his presence has been noted and soon bottles will start flying towards him...


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2's table was smashed from over him, by some sort of Eldar. Struggling to push off the surprisingly heavy alien, considering Eldar were meant to be lighter than humans. Nearly clearing Solitaire a beer barrel suddenly found his face.

"Hey, whoever that was..."

Thomas2 was interrupted by a rather unsuccessful attempt to use him as a missile. Landing far short of his intended target he quickly dodged out of the way of the Eldars ramming attack, diving over the bar to his supply of 'nid blood.

"Lets see how you like acid burns!" cried Thomas2, splattering a hail of bottles over the ceiling, glass shards and acid blobs going everywhere.

Snapping off a chair leg Thomas2 stood on top of the counter.

"So who was it that chucked that barrel?"


----------



## plug

The dishwasher now finished its washing cycle and opened, revealing a rather shiny and clean Plug. He climbed out and saw a foam fire extinguisher leaning against the wall behind the bar. He grabed it and aimed at thomas2 who was still standing on the counter. With a great shout of glee he fired it turning thomas2 in to something that resembled a giant fluffy marshmellow.


----------



## Hellskullz

Hellskullz, just coming to from the surprise attack from the unseen eldar grabs the nearest person, who just happened to be the nice and shiny plug, took him to the bathroom that was used by Marneus and stuck Plug's head in the toilet and flushed. To bad for Plug that Marneus forgot to flush.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Marneus saw what was happening between Hellskullz and plug, and realised that he forgot to flush... He was scared for plug. So, he hid from hellskullz and on his way back out from the toilet and smashed a bottle over his head, just knocking him sideways, Marneus quickly picked him up and locked him in the cold beer store...


----------



## plug

When the toilet flushed, Plug ended up getting completly sucked down the pan. Around the u-bend he went, through the pipe-work and ended up getting pushed out of the Guiness beer tap. With a rather large plop he hit the floor, a bit on the dazed side. When his head had stoped spinning, he clapped his eyes on the dishwasher and jumped straight in hitting the start button on the way in.


----------



## Mordeth

Feeling angry now that Thomas2's jumping up to the counter had spilled all his delicious rum all over his body. with a not so gentle tug Mordeth pulled at Thomas2's leg, making him lose balance, waiting every second now that he would fall down in a nice crash.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris, seeing Plug dive into the dishwasher (again), shook up a bottle of nid blood, threw it in, and closed the door. Red and green roam began to spill out the sides of dishwasher's door. His work here was done. 

Turning around, he was shocked to see the drunken form of Thomas2 overbalance and start to fall towards him. What were his priorities? Himself? His beer? The funniness of Thomas's fall? The-Splat. Too late.


----------



## Marneus Calgar

Watching Thomas fall onto chrisman Marneus Calgar laughed and got a packet of nuts, and decided to go play darts.


----------



## Mordeth

having seen Thomas2 fall on top of chrisman, Mordeth figured it would be best to drag himself away for a while. seeing marneus playing darts, he decides to join, but first activates his custom made cloaking device, just to be on the safe side. Enjoying the startled shout of somebody, he picked up a dart and threw it at the board, hitting the middle, to his great disappointment. He STILL wasn't properly drunk, thanks to Thomas2.


----------



## thomas2

Having been covering in foam then toppled over hadn't left Thomas2 feeling happy at all. Thankfully the guardsman had cushioned his fall.

"Thanks mate" he said, peeling himself out of the foamy mess.

"So if none of you cowards want a proper fight I'll play your game!" cried Thomas2, dramaticly rolling over the counter, and a few drinks, to meet his 'nid blood stash. The throwing them up at the ceiling plan had somewhat failed, it mostly sticking to the ceiling, so it was time for some good all fashioned throwing.

"Eat acid!" he shouted, bottles streaming out in all directions.


----------



## Mordeth

Smash! his cloaking device had failed to protect him, and turning around, he saw why. Thomas2 was throwing bottles everywhere, most of them smashing againts the walls, but some hit perfectly.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire saw a bottle fly towards him!
"Oh please." he said and bent his back backwards, like a limbo, into a perfect right angle. The bottle flew over him and Solitaire was about get back up when a horrifying crack followed by a scream caused to fall to the floor.
"Argh my back! My poor back!" He cried as he lay on the floor, "Someone, Someone help! ! !"


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris felt really odd. He felt under pressure, out of breath and rather flat. Ah, that was it: he'd been squished. The squisher (Thomas) finally got up and murmured a "Thanks mate," and ran off to rejoin the fray. Chris suddenly remembered the dishwasher. It was bulging, fizzing, over flowing at the sides: he really felt sorry for old pluggy. The dishwasher uttered a loud creaky and the bolts on the sides began to ping off. "Uh-oh," said Chris. Chris dived out to the side, just the over flowing dishwasher exploded, sending a column of nid blood and soapy water burning through the bar and through the dartboard. Plug was nowhere to be seen. Marneus had been caught in the blast and solitare was on the floor, but it was nonetheless funny to see a dishwasher explode.


----------



## Mordeth

Plug was indeed in sigth. diving to the floor to avoid his flying figure, Mordeth watched in some amusement as the dartboard AND marneus was blown away by a dishwasher. thinking that this pub... if it could be called pub anymore... was getting stranger and stranger, he rose, and calmy picked up a bottle of something. walking slowly towards Thomas2 he failed to drag attention to himself, and so decided that to get it he would bang Thomas2's head a while. Raising his bottle, he saw out of the corner of his vision a spinning bottle... coming towards him! "Oh, shit," was all he managed to say before getting smacked off his feet. surging back to his feet, he looked for the unlucky bottlethrower, Thomas2 completely forgotten.


----------



## plug

When the dishwasher exploded, Plug was thrown across the bar , just missing various people. Thinking he could get used to flying, his thoughts were interupted by hitting a wall in a very hard fashion and sliding down in a crumpled heap. He then decided that flying was fun but the landing needed some work.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris was still not quite sure what happened. Either the dishwasher had really exploded, or whether it was just another stoned dream. "Hey pluggy! I got you a beer!" shouted Chris at the splatted figure.


----------



## plug

Plug picked himself up off the floor. Hearing Chris say he had a beer for him, he picked his way across the floor , stepping over the inept bodies all over the place. When he finally got to Chris, he took his beer and had a mouthfull and said 
"Thanks mate, may I sugest an allience against everyone here"


----------



## chrisman 007

"Nice," said chris at hearing his suggestion of double teaming "No hard feelings about the dishwasher." Chris dived behind the bar, slowly readying a Nid blood/ aspirin grenade. The beer grenades had been deadly: these were going to be like nukes compared to them...


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire pulled himself to his feet and lurched towards the bar clutching his back.
"There's only one way to heal a bad back." He groaned, "Lots and lots of alcohol." He ordered a pint and made to drink it however yet again it just poured off his Face-Mask. Once it had all splashed on his Holo-Suit and onto the floor he ordered another one, and then another one, and then another one. . .


----------



## Mordeth

Seeing the eldar pour alcohol over himself, Mordeth tought it would be nice with a nap, so he rented a big safekeeping safe and slept a bit in there.


----------



## chrisman 007

Everyone seemed relaxed (well as relaxed as you can get in the pub of madness), It was the perfect time to strike. Chris picked up a nid blood/aspirin grenade, shook it up, threw it, and tried to stay unseen. There was a loud smash, a sizzle and a huge squelchy explosion. There was a loud scream from whom he didn't know. "Perfect," said chris as he primed a second nid bomb.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 had just settled down, and beginning to get through the bottles of Emperors Finest. The barman who demanded payment was smart enough to leave before Thomas2's money ran out, so he had no trouble with quantity.

Then, suddenly, a blast knocked his bar stool over. Dropping around a dozen bottles onto the floor, Thomas2 struggled to get back up again.

"Now your for it guardsman!" cried Thomas2 as he grabbed his own stash of 'nid blood, downing a couple, and chucking the next two at his assailant.


----------



## plug

Plug watched Chris throw his nid blood grenade and thought to himself, "There pretty neat them, gonna have to get some myself" and looked around for some but found Chris had already got them all


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire was just wondering why he wasn't drunk yet when a Nid blood grenade hit him and knocked him off his chair. There was a loud crack followed by a scream and then a "My Back?" He stood up and saw the bottle had came from Chris. He stomped towards him and, bending down, peered into his face.
"Thank you!" He exclaimed, "That fall somehow fixed my back! How can I ever repay you. . ."


----------



## chrisman 007

"No problem," said chris rather surprised "You could help by stopping thomas ripping my head of, he looks very, VERY pissed.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 looked up. It appeared the guardsman who interrupted his drink was making an alliance.

Chucking the remaining bottles of 'nid blood everywhere he grabbed up a bar stool.

Testing it with a few experimental swishes in the air Thomas began to charge.


----------



## chrisman 007

_Hmm,_ thought Chris as he eyed a drink of emperor's finest _If I could get thomas into an Alliance with me I'd be unstoppable!_ Chris picked up the bottle of emperor's finest and rolled it to thomas. "Sorry about interupting your drink! Here's one to make up for it!"


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 alternately looked at the bottle, then Chris.

"Well I guess this makes up for it, and I suppose you weren't aiming for me..."

Thomas said, grabbing the bottle and downing it.

"Alright, so what are we going to do now?"


----------



## Mordeth

"You will get SMASHED!" With this insane shout, Mordeth broke out of the safe that was choking him, grabbed a bottle of the renown Nid'blood, and sent it spinning towards Thomas2 and Chrisman, throwing almost in aftertought a candle after. His eyes taking in all the wpins, he almost couln't wait. he started saying something. "VICT-" CRACK! and he fell to the floor, unbeknowst what had hit him, but detirmined to find out as soon as he woke up.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 took the hit of the bottle straight in the face, the hit sending him spiraling backwards.

Recovering in mid-air he managed a ninja-like jump from a landing handstand, an effect slightly damaged by the chair he landed on collapsing.

Lying down in the wreckage Thomas2 looked down to the broken leg sticking through his abdomen.

"That's not good... Barman! A bottle of 'Florence Nightingale' over here, and make it quick."


----------



## solitaire

with a massive fight imminent Solitaire thought it best to arm himself. He had just finished switching off the water supply and then prising part of the steel water pipe off the wall when Mordeth burst out of the safe. Solitaire acted fast clubbing him on the back of the head with his make shift weapon. Unfortunately he wasn't fast enough as Thomas2 had already been injured! He leapt to his allies side brandishing his weapon intent on preserving their defence. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris threw a large piece of dishwasher at Mordeth, and to his satisfaction there was a loud crack and the cretin feel. "That'll show him for randomly attacking my frien-" Chris found himself on the floor. Who'd hit him? It was like there was an invisible hit on the backer!


----------



## Mordeth

Stumbling to a rise, Mordeth walked on shaky legs to the remains of what looked like a table. sitting down, he looked at were he had been hit by a dishwasher. but wait, that was AFTER he had been clubbed down!
Shaking his head in disbelief that somebody got so violent they sent big pieces of metal flying around, he picked up another bottle of Nid' blood, and putting a piece of burning paper in it, he quickly threw it in the direction of chrisman... only he missed and it flew up in the roof, exploding and showering solitare, chrisman and thomas in a rain of burninn liquid.
The sad thing was that just as soon as they got hit, and probably before they realized what had happened, a large cloud appeared and it started raining, drenching every inch of the room.
Looking on with a stupified look on his face, Mordeth drew a ragged breath, and said to nobody in particular "Well, look at that!"
He then got this evening shock (literally), as a lightning bolt sent him sprawling. 
"well, guess that was the punishment for endangering the Moose, heh heh..."


----------



## plug

Having seen the lightning bolt, Plug thanked his lucky stars that he had lightning proof boots on and his top hat would save him anyway if he got hit. Seeing Mordeth a bit unsteady on his feet after been hit decided to throw a chair leg which was next to him at Mordeth.


----------



## cccp

cccp walks in through the door, which is hanging off its hinges, proceeds to go to the bar, order a half and sit in the corner and drink it.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire attempted to leap out the way but was not fast enough and a massive bolt of lightning hit squarely in the chest. It knocked him spinning across the room and he landed with a crash on cccp's table, knocking away all that was already on there. Solitaire looked up shakily and stumbled back to the middle of the room using his metal pipe as a crutch while he cursed and grumbled about how his back had just been knocked back to it's terrible condition. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

A lightning bolt suddenly appeared out of nowhere, evaporating the nid blood and causing all of chris's long hair to spaz and stand on end. "My hair!" said chris trying to crush the frizzy mess with his helmet "What have I done to deserve this!" He then noticed cccp. Cccp was a mod, which was basically the Heresy equivalent to a Commissar. Chris dived under the bar. He feared the mods. Big time.


----------



## thomas2

Grabbing the bottle Thomas2 downed it in seconds, the drink causing a near magical healing effect to his wounds.

"OK, who did that? Let me at them and I'll kill them!"


----------



## luthorharkon

_Suddenly a burly power armoured figure burst through the door.
It was luthorharkon, back from his 500 year induction into the astartes fighting force.
"Hi all!", he said gayly before sitting down and sipping on a bottle of cognac and admiring the mess around him.
In all that time so little had changed.

Luthorharkon decided that enough was enough and he stood up, knocking over the bottle of cognac and spilling the contents simultaneously.
"By the order of the Astartes and by ritual informaties from the codex astartes and the index atartes I hereby sentence this pubs population to death by viral bombardment."
"May the Emperor have mercy on your souls..."_


----------



## chrisman 007

"Oh, that's nice," said Chris uninterestedly. He noticed that the bar hand had imploded in a tyranid blood/ dishwasher incident, and chris seemed to be the only man there. He could always do with some spare cash "So, what'll it be?"


----------



## luthorharkon

_luthorharkon proceeded to order te bombardment of the pub in the next 24 hours.
"Those of you who give the Emperor praise may follow me to the escape shuttles docked in the car park. If so please leave through the main exits in an orderly fashion as not to risk injury."
"That is all.
He then heard a guardsmen "So, what'll it be?", and proceeded to sit down next to the rather short fellow.
"Well I quite fancy a pot of tea and biscuits, care to join me?"
That very same thing proceeded to float towards the two of them on a tray and landed on the bar with a soft thud.
"How many sugars?" he asked politely._


----------



## chrisman 007

Hearing that this Arstartes liked tea, chris jumped up turned on the kettle. Although Chris almost died last time he drunk his national liquid, he was an expert at making tea (OOC: No jokes, I'm the tea boy at home). "That'll £100. Sorry, inflation's been a bit of a bastard and messed up the economy. Oh, and the Mooses rules dictates that there are no weapons that can't be found 'ere to be used. Though I wouldn't mind watching a Virus bomb nuke the east end of london.


----------



## luthorharkon

The guardsmens reply softened the hulking super warriors heart and he agreed that virus bombing East London would be a much better idea. He paid for the tea and the two figures toddled of to the entrance to watch the ensuing blast over Britain.
"lol" luthorharkon said.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Hey isn't that my house?" said Chris as Milton Keynes is obliterated in the blast. "MY HOUSE!!!!" Chris throws his tea in Luthor's face and then hides under the bar.


----------



## Mordeth

Laughing at Chris's stupidity to bomb his own house, Gareth rather cheerfully throws the remains of the safe he broke out of over the table Chris had made his new home. With a satisfying crack the table broke.

OOC: POST you mangy housecats!


----------



## Mordeth

_The ground shake a bit during the night, when all customers have gone home, and the next day reveals the Son of the Mangled Noose to be tip-top shape again, ready for new and old customers._ 

Entering, Mordeth felt good. This was the start of a new era.
Ordering some plain orange soda, he sighed and sat down in a comfortable chair with one of the tables.
Oh, yes this was certainly a new era. An era of soda!


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris stumbled in, to the same old bar, except this time in a James Bond esque tux. Ah, the moose. Is there anything it can't do? Luckily, Chris' house was a huge bunker, so wasn't to affected by the bomb, except the fridge broke. And the bed caught fire. And every thing smelt like the aftermath of a big sneeze. Still, Chris had a plan. "A martini please, shaken not stirred," said Chris in a deep voice that went high at the end due to his adolescence. Chris sat next to the soda drinking mordeth. "Hey man, how are you?"


----------



## Flerden

Flerden then entered and ordered a soda and ''acidentaly'' pushed mordeth so that he dropped his soda.


----------



## Mordeth

"Hey chris. I'm fine boy, all fi-" he said but gritted his teeth as Flerden made him drop his soda.
"Not a smart move, but that can wait I have no time just now." 
He casually walked down to the bar and ordered another soda. "too early on the day to get drunk," he remarked to the befuddled barman.


----------



## solitaire

A portal opened on the wall and a tall, slim figure strode out of it. He was dressed in his usual attire of a shimmer suit and expressionless face-mask.
"Looks like the finally got the Webway gate working. That'll get them some new customers." said Solitaire in an even, level voice. He walked over to the bar but stopped when he felt something crunch beneath his foot. He twisted it round so he could what he had stepped on and saw many shards of soda covered glass stuck in his foot!
"Who's Fault Is This?" He stammered with barely concealed rage. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris laughed at Solitare's crap attempts at concealed rage. Chris pointed at Flerden. ":washim: It was Flerden." Finding the Martini dry and only really appealing because you got to say, "Shaken, not stirred," Chris wondered whether the moose sold Orangina, and to his delight it did. Chris downed the whole bottle and got his tongue stuck in the glass top. "Oh shipft."


----------



## darkreever

Walking in quickly through the front door, darkreever made his way strait to the bar; tattered black cloak and hood concealing all features. Shoving chris aside and knocking him to the ground, dark went straight to ordering a bottle of gin. It might have been a bit early, but he was not in the happiest of moods; and this would help to calm him down.

Taking the bottle and a glass, he went over to one of the tables away from the bar and sat down brooding; features still covered even while he was drinking.


----------



## chrisman 007

Darkreever's push unhooked the bottle, but Chris was slightly miffed. "Watch it! No need to take out your rage on little ol' me!" Chris shoved Darkreever to the ground, and helped him up. "There, now we're even."

EDIT: Sorry, damn autocorrect


----------



## darkreever

Anger played across dark's hidden face, not just for the shove but from chris getting his name wrong as well. Twisting around, he smashed the bottle into the side of chris's head and sent him to the ground. _"I don't think so. Another bottle, but he'll pay it this time."_ Before heading for a table and sitting down. Maybe most days he would be miles nicer, just not today.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Oh cr-" a darkreever-to-chris bottle hit him in the face. "Ow...only been here five minutes and i'm already starting WW3." Chris suddenly remembered the important job he had been given. He was the head of the People's Communist Party of the Step (OOC: It's a real country me and my friends have formed, so far the Happy Nuclear Bunny party is winning). Seeing a bar full of votes, Chris went to the loo, changed into his russian suit (fuzzy hat and all), and walked up to the nearest person, mordeth, armed with a bottle of Emperor's Finest. "So, mordeth, my dear, dear, friend, would you vote for me if I gave you this Emperor's Finest, and another after that?"


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire heard what Chris said and his head slowly turned so it was facing Flerdon. He was silent while Chris and Darkreever fought before suddenly leaping at him and knocking him to the floor with the aid of a barstool. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

(OOC: Do you mean me or Dark? I'm certainly getting hit today, maybe it's the fuzzy hat)


----------



## solitaire

((OOC: Whoops I didn't see your last post I meant Flerdon. . .))


----------



## chrisman 007

(OOC: Ok, thanks for not killing me).

Seeing a new patron of the moose coming in via webway, Chris moved on to him, still armed with an Emperor's Finest. "Solitare, my dear, dear friend, if I give you this quality bottle of Emperor's Finest, can you guarantee your vote for the People's Communist Party?"


----------



## solitaire

"Well well well, if it isn't the Russians." said Solitaire, pulling a ring on his finger with a capitol S on it and seemingly unaware it was really Chris "Did Stalin send you? Is he after my gold? I won it fair and square you got that? I want you to go back to him and tell him THIS!" on the final word Solitaire punched Chris in the face, leaving a backwards imprint of an S on his cheek. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

"No Solitaire, Starlin didn't send me, and I'm no-" A large S print slammed into Chris' cheek. "OWW!!! You-" Chris remembered that this was a bar full of votes, so simmered his anger down. "Don't you remember me Solitaire? It's Chris!"


----------



## thomas2

Thomas wandered back in the moose.

"Ah, barkeep. I fancy something different. Surprise me."

A bottle was chucked out, Thomas catching it.

"Gift of Chaos's Breweries? Well I suppose I had had a few to many Emperor's finest, and I should balance it out a bit."

Sitting down Thomas noticed the chaos already in place, with Chris in a ridiculous outfit being assaulted by the Eldar.

"Ahh, same old Moose..."


----------



## Flerden

When Flerden got hit in his head by Solitare he did almost faint. He then watched Solitare hit chris and then he jumped on Solitares back and startde to pull him down.


----------



## solitaire

"AAAAHH! The Russians are everywhere!" cried Solitaire as he felt something land on his back. He collapsed to his knees but succeeded in throwing Flerdon off of him and into Chris. "If I'm going down I'm taking you with me!" The mad clown yelled, all of the earlier calm gone, and he grabbed a bottle of whisky and a lighter. He popped the cork off the Spirit and attempted to start the lighter. It flickered but failed to properly start causing Solitaire to curse and try again, and again, and again, and again. . .


----------



## Mordeth

(are you really russian chris? )
"Sure, you have my vote, as long as I don't get your 'friends' banging on my door shouting to change my vote."
Dropping a small note expressing his vote into Chris's pocket just as he got hit, he picked the bottle of Emperors finest from his hands, and gulped it down, before swinging the bottle to hit Solitare's head. He had nothing against the chap, he was just defending his provider of drink, Chris.


----------



## chrisman 007

(OOC: Nope, I'm a combination of Irish, Scottish, English and potato)

Chris, having happily secured a vote, threw dignity to the wind and jumped on Solitaire and proceeded to hit him like a rabid monkey "DERKA DERKA DERKA!!!!"


----------



## solitaire

Panicking Solitaire finally managed to get his lighter to work and threw it into the Whisky bottle. It caught fire and violently exploded throwing everyone off him and to separate corners of the room. Solitaire himself was blasted back through the Webway portal he had entered by, laughing at how he believed he had saved all his Russian stolen gold. . .


----------



## Mordeth

Only the webway gate was not there, Mordeth tought happily. He had used his 'God-mode' button to stop time, move behind solitare, and push his body away a bit, until he was pointed towards the backdoor, where he would most likely end up in the garbage.
Grinning, and satisfied with his work, he went to the bar, took a clunk of solitares still undrunk soda, and started time again, waiting for solitares surprised cry.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris ran around wildly on fire, setting chairs on fire, exploding bar taps, and giving the local mice a good show. Chris wildly stumbled around and found himself in a blue portally thing. A rather surprised Solitaire greeted him. "WTF? Where am-" There was a blinding flash, and Chris found himself in the ladies loo, with a crate of something. He opened it, and found it half full of gold! Yay! "Drinks on me guys! Wh-" Chris had just gone to throw his fuzzy hat in the air, when he noticed it wasn't there. "WHERE'S MY FUZZY HAT!!!!!!!!"


----------



## Flerden

Flerden then ordered some whisky and drank the whole bottle in one sweep, he then noticed he didn't stand att the bar disk but on a table
''What the?''
He then jumped on Mordeth and started to hack on him.


----------



## solitaire

More than a bit miffed his fun getaway had been _undone_ Solitaire got out of the garbage and _walked_ through the Webway portal and out of the Moose. Just before before he left he noticed Mordeth had started drinking what he though was Solitaire's soda which confused him as he had never ordered a soda though he did seem to have misplaced the urine sample he needed to give to the doctor. . .


----------



## chrisman 007

"WHERE'S MY HAT!!!!!" Chris shouted at the newly emerged Solitaire, "You'd better know, because Russian gold sure hurts when used as a blunt weapon!!!!"


----------



## The Deadman

OOC: Can someone give me a quick heads up as I've not been on this site for ages


----------



## chrisman 007

OOC: DEADMAN!!! Great to see you back!! Alright, me and solitaire are fighting over some soviet gold, and I've lost my fuzzy hat, and, well, yeah. Mad as usual.


----------



## The Deadman

OOC: Thanks Chris.

Deadman then walks back in and orders a pint of Emporers Finest.

OOC: I can't remember what fights I was having so I just put this.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire ignored Chrisman and carried on walking through the Webway portal.

A couple hours later he returned and happily exclaimed "Good news I've had my check up with the doctor and I'm A-okay! What's more is..." Solitaire's voice trailed off when he saw Chris with his gold. He was silent for a few minutes longer before grabbing the water pipe and wrenching it from the wall, spraying water everywhere. Next the enraged yet oddly silent Harlequin leapt through the scolding hot water and started hitting Chris with the pipe desperate to reclaim what he believed was rightfully his. . .


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then tries to get Chris and Solitaire to make peace by buying them both a drink...


----------



## NoiseMarine

Enjoying the fight, NoiseMarine grabs Deadmans beers and hits him on the head, yelling "BOOP!" as the fight with Deadman begins NoisMarine also hits himself knocking his powerarmoured form unconscious.


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then miraculously finds a tactical-12 gauge (featured in Time Splitters: Future Perfect) and randomly fired it around the room.


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire screamed as a bullet punched him in the head. He fell backwards and looked in a mirror to see the bullet stuck in his forehead.
"Whoa I think I need to get another appointment with the doctor." Said Solitaire with a pang worry in his voice, "Though first..." suddenly the clown shoved Chris out out the way and threw the crate of gold through the Webway portal. Next he drew a Monkey Gun (Timesplitters: Future Perfect) or, as the Eldar like to call it, the Mon Keigh Gun and let all the bullets loose in Deadman's general direction, the force of the weapon pushing Solitaire back through the Webway portal. . .


----------



## Flerden

''I thougth guns were not allowed here but what the hell''
Flerden then runs in Deadmans direction but gets hit by an bullet that sends him flying backwards into an wall and knocks him unconsious.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris got back up, dazed and confused, and still without his fuzzy hat. When seeing that Solitaire was going for his gold, Chris jumped up, only to end up cowering under a table as monkeys and 12 gauge rounds started flinging a round the room. As everyone seemed distracted Chris got up a tapped a glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. 
"Err....hi.....I'd just like to say.....err.....to report, rather, that a....umm.....fuzzy hat of mine has gone....err, walkies. If you find, could you, err, please return it to me? Drinks on me for the guy that returns it."


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then starts rummaging around him and throwing things in everyway possible, he then finds a steel chair runs towards flerden and hits him with it, deadman then finds that chris was actually under the table that the fuzzy hat was on, and deadman being deadman grabs it not seeing that it was surrounded be monkeys that would kill him and shouts "FOUND IT!" just before the monkeys started biting and chewing at his shiny steel boots that he had bought on his long holiday (after commiting a serious crime) in mexico with a sombrero, mexican clothes, some maracas and a moustache that he had used as a disguise.


----------



## NoiseMarine

Noisemarine pulls out the injector (time splitters: future perfect, weapon) and shoots Deadman in the butt.


----------



## Flerden

Flerden got upp but directly gets hit by Deadman with a steel chair, he falls down again.
When he finaly gets upp he take the same chair and hits Noisemarine with it.


----------



## The Deadman

NoiseMarine said:


> Noisemarine pulls out the injector (time splitters: future perfect, weapon) and shoots Deadman in the butt.


seeing as noisemarine had only shot him once with the injector it had no effect so he pulled out a Mag-Charher (time splitters future perfect weapon) activates piercing mode (so that it can shoot through walls (yes its actully in the game)) hid behind the bar and shot noisemarine in the balls


----------



## chrisman 007

OOC: OK, gun mode off. Guns ruin the game.


----------



## solitaire

((OOC: Agreed. Oh and Deadman if you shoot someone enough times with the Injector in non-story mode they explode!))

Solitaire cried out as his Mon Keigh gun disappeared in mid air. Cautiously he backed away to the bar and, once there, ordered a bottle of Grog. . .


----------



## Flerden

Flerden laughed as a number of guns disapeared, he then walked to the bar and ordered an beer.


----------



## sea dragons

after a year in half sleep out side the back door covered in the trash, sea dragons finaly wakes up.

"wat the F**K am i doing out here, wat time is it, wat day is it. by the emperor wat bloody year is it?????"


----------



## chrisman 007

(OOC: Yay! The Mangled Moose is back)

Chrisman walked into the Mangled Moose, slightly groggy. Evidently the place had been cleaned up a bit since last time, though the ever present Sea Dragons was still there, shouting something about the year whilst lying in a bin/his house. Probably both. 
Chris walked up to the gibbering Sea Dragons, took off his [chris's] glove and slapped SD with it.
"Shut up with your gibberish! The year is 2009, and you evidently need to buy a calender. Now please, if you have seen my fuzzy hat tell me where it is!!"


----------



## IamI1966

IamI (Something like a halfling furball) walked in and heard Chrisman's last comment.
"IS THAT AN INSULT?!?!?!?!?!?" He bellowed at a loudness incredible for his size. He went up to him and ripped the stool from under him and hit him on the ribs with it.


----------



## Mordeth

Walking down the alley, looking through all the tempting forums with interesting subjects in the stalls, the Tau warrior Mordeth suddenly stumbled across a place he faintly recognized...
"By The Greater Good..." he whispered in awe. "The Mangled Noose!" he then exclaimed with a shout. He could hear several voices calling out from the dark in response to this, eager voices full of hope.
Straightening himself up, readying his authentic Mangled Noose Veteran Pass, (stolen from behind the bar before it got smashed to pieces last year,) put it on his shirt, and walked in, declaring "Hello my friends, good to see you again at last!" before walking over to the bar, stepping around a flustering Chrisman 007 and stepping over Sea Dragon.
"One Emperor's Finest, if you please." he said calmly to the bar-man, before turning his head slightly and saying in a louder voice, "and whatever my friends here want, first round is on me!"
Almost in as an afterthought, he said "Good to see you again Chrisman 007, long time no see."
"And you, SD," although this was said in a slightly more dubious tone. He didn't seem to clean, and Mordeth wouldn't want to dirty his nice black cloak after only a minute.
"And greetings to you, IamI... what are you, by the way?"

OOC: Ah, I've missed this place


----------



## BlackApostleVilhelm

OOC: can i join?

Black Apostle Vilhelm walked into the bar, his huge power armor and spikes taking the doorframe with him. He cursed to himself as he saw a flurry of weird creatures and people in the bar. He didnt know he got here, all he could remember that one moment he was slaughtering hundreds and then POOF! "Oh well..." he mumbled before sitting down at the bar and cursing as the stool broke under his bulk. He slammed his fist on the bar and made a hole, "Give me some damned fenrisian ale now!" today was not a good day. He picked up a furball at his side and was surprised as it squeeked in terror. he bellowed in its face and chucked it across the room to emphasize his impatience. there was a tau looking at him, "What!?" he yelled.


----------



## Flerden

Flerden enterded wlaked int the bar an saw a furball flying acros the bar.
''Well that was a new sort ot dart'' he said to Black Apostle Vilhelm as he sat down on the chair next to him.
''Some thing strong'' He ordered.


----------



## Mordeth

Mordeth just watched as suddenly a big lump of armour comes crashing through the door and tosses IamI away.
"Hey, I thought this was a 'no weps, no armour'-place," and then simply thouches Vilhelms armour, making it dissapear in a puff of smoke, leaving some blurred clothes.
"well, hurry up and decide how your clothes look, the Mangled Noose is not patient."
"By the way, have a beer, its what we all are here for," he said before trying to kick the still rambling SD in his head.

OOC: Btw, be careful not to god-mod anything. and yes, you can join, this is just for fun after all  and Weapons and armour are not allowed, only bottles, chairs, tables, and your own weak fists and feets. at least it was like that before.


----------



## BlackApostleVilhelm

Black Apostle Vilhelm growled as his armor melted away and he was dressed in a very tight grey shirt, combat fatigues and boots. The people at the bar could see the chaotic tattoos he had all over his body and he admitted in his head he was a little embarressed. He pulled a steel table up and sat next to the tiny Mordeth. "I havent been dressed in this since the Great Crusade." he said Solemnley. As the bartender put down the huge mug of Fenrisian Ale he chugged it and asked for another.


----------



## Mordeth

"hmm, must be a pleasant change for you then." Mordeth said, trying to sound interested while he slowly edged behind him, empty bottle of Emperor's Finest raised above his head and a grin on his face.


----------



## BlackApostleVilhelm

Black Apostle Vilhelm cugged down his fifth mug of ale and was not even feeling a buzz yet, "I thought this stuff was supposed to be stronger? Last I remeber drinking it I drank Bjorn the Fellhanded under the table." he laughed as he downed another one.


----------



## IamI1966

(I assume the furball was me)

As IamI was thrown across the room, he grabbed somebody's drink. He walk up to Black Apostle Vilhelm and hit him as hard as he could with it. "I DONT LIKE BEING THROWN AROUND!!!!!!!" He yelled as he ripped the stool out of under Black Apostle Vilhelm.


----------



## Mordeth

Mordeth felt the grin fade as the hafling suddenlu appeared out of nowhere, smashed Vilhelm with a bottle, and ripped the stool he was sitting on away.
"well, well," he mumbled quitely, "seems like I don't need to get my clothes dirty yet," before he silently stepped forward, put the empty bottle in Vilhelms hand with a quick motion, and then stepped several steps back.
"This'll be interesting."


----------



## BlackApostleVilhelm

Vilhelm got up in a roar and stumbled as the ale started to work on his astartes physique. He stared down at the furball below him and grinned, "Runt, I will eat your innards!" He realized he had a bottle in his hand and wondered how it got there but dismissed the thought as he kicked his huge foot at the furball attempting to punt it across the room.


----------



## solitaire

The Webway portal attached to the wall flared and activated as Solitaire walked through. He was wearing a full body Holo-suit covered in numerous multi-coloured diamonds. On his face there was a gleaming white face mask which portrayed no emotion whatsoever. Walking over, Solitaire sat on a bar stool, ordered a bottle of grog, and sat watching the fight. . .


----------



## Mordeth

"Oh, boy... the guy with emotional problems..." Mordeth murmured as he watched the eldar come through an eldar webway gate.
"I think I should say hello..." after saying this, he went to the bar, ordered another bottle of Emperor's Finest, said "Bottoms up," and the found some paper, wrote 'hello' on it, and put it into the empty bottle.
Satisfied with his work (and the drink) he turned on the spot, and neatly sent it flying directly towards Solitaire.
'Lucky I'm not too drunk yet,' he thought as he watched the bottle spin lazily through the air, spinning, spinning, spinning...- *to be continued*


----------



## Vaz

Archon Vaz walked though the Swinging Saloon Doors, his blood spattered armour and Taloned Agoniser writhing with infernal energies. The Mangled Moose stopped mid brawl to look at him. Suddenly an Ogryn Bouncer walked up to him, and wrestled him outside.

"Oi. No armour. No shooty fings. No choppy fings. Now sod off til you meet the dress code."

"Oh. Okay then."

Vaz walked off to get a change of clothes.


----------



## Flerden

Flerden watched as Black Apostle Vihlelm kicked IamI strait aganist him but he didnt move fast enough and gott IamI in his face.
Flerden flew of his chair and landed next to Solitare.
''Well hello there'' he said to Solitare when he got up.


----------



## Mordeth

Mordeth watched in slight dismay as Flerden was in the way for the flying bottle... 'spi, spin, spin spin...* to be continued.*


----------



## solitaire

Solitaire sat silently drinking his grog. Whenever he took a swig of his bottle the liquid just rolled off of his face-mask and onto his front, only to fade away a few moments later.
"Oh hello." said Solitaire as he stood up to shake Flerden's hand as he greeted him. "How are-" he was cut off suddenly as the bottle from Mordeth smashed into his bottle of grog, splattering it all over the floor.
"... Excuse me for a minute." Solitaire stretched and brushed any crumbs from his suit. Then he picked up his bar stool by one of its legs and started inspecting it in great detail. After a moment he nodded as if he was pleased. Then everything changed dramatically and in an instant he had leapt through the air and kneed Mordeth in the chest, knocking him and a few nearby tables to the ground in a crash. Solitaire did it all in complete silence and now he lifted up the stool and prepared to swing it at his targets face. . .


----------



## Mordeth

Mordeth was a bit shocked... He didn't think he had been drunk enough to miss... wait, the guy had moved... aaaah... 
As stood there thinking he watched in kind of an daze as the eldar jumped on him and kneed him to the ground.
"ouch!" he exclaimed, closing his eyes a moment, and opened them to see the demented eldar stand over him... about to breing a chair crashing down on him...
thinking quickly, he kicked at Solitaires feet, making him fall backwards, and then quickly rose, ran to the bar, grabbed a bottle of something that looked good, and dove beneath a table on the far side of the Noose.
Hopefully the eldar would get bored and get back to drinking. Then he, the great Mordeth *hic* could strike back with a masterplan...*hic!*


----------



## BlackApostleVilhelm

Vilhelm was seriously drunk now. He had had twenty mugs of Fenrisian Ale and it was clearly showing in his movements. He stumbled toward where he saw his ancient enemy, the eldar, pinning Mordeth to the ground. He watched as Mordeth kicked the eldar's feet out from under him and ran to the bar, but Vilhelm's reactions were horrible at the moment and he tripped over that damned furball again and came crashing down on the eldar before he could get up, crushing him beneath his bulk. He moaned as his head swam and he tried to get a grip on reality.


----------



## deathbringer

Shas'ui Deathbringer had been in the cupboard under the bar for a very long time. It was not a very comfortable cupboard and he resented having been stuffed into it by a large Astartes.
In fact he resented having entered the mangled moose at all. 
He resented having parked his piranha outside (which incidently was now up on bricks having had its wings taken off by a passing chav (yes they still exist even in the 41st millenium)) thinking he would have a small sherry and hand out a few pamphlets.
He now realised that the clientelle of the mangled moose would do nothing for the greater good but anything for a beer.

He listened carefully and hoped it was safe to come out. 

"Hello" he whispered "is anybody their'
Above him he heard a bottle of beer clink upon the bar and slumped back against the wall.


----------



## karix bloodfist

Big Boss Karix Bloodfist stormed into the building, went up to the bar, and ordered 10 pints of Fungus beer and watched the tau suit thing slump against a wall on the other side of the bar and laughed, watching the fight grow to its indefinate peak.


----------



## Viscount Vash

*Time Ladies and Gentlemen Please.*

*Attention all drinkers*

The Management of the _Mangled Moose_ would like to announce the closure of the establishment for a long overdue refurbishment.

The last day of trading will be Saturday 7th of March and all customers will be asked to drink up and leave the premisis.:cray:

The Management apologize for any inconvenience but hope that all regulars will frequent the new improved _Moose_ and welcome the new owner in their own special way on it re-opening.

_Da Management._


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## SPARTAN-117

OOC: Do I have to sign up in a sign ujp thread to be able to post this thread


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## chrisman 007

OOC: No master chief, this is a drop in thread. But it's closing soon, so, err yeah. 

Hearing da Managment shout out that the moose was yet again closing for refurbishment, Chris sprung into action, grabbing Solitare and shouted "WHERE THE HELL'S MY FUZZY HAT!!!!!" Chris didn't wait for an answer, and punched him on the nose. Whilst running away from the bleeding Solitare Chris barrelled into a rather large ork. "Eeep." Chris had no time for a fight where he'd most likely get stomped, so he grabbed a Vodka, ran into the toilets, grabbed a bit of bog roll and lit it with a lighter. He bounced out of the toilets with his makeshift molotov cocktail and screamed "DERKADERKADERKA!!!!!" as he hurled his flaming payload into the ork. The glass missed and sent flaming alcohol everywhere. "Oh dear, here we go again..." said Chris remembering the demise of the last moose.


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## karix bloodfist

Karix looked down seeing the runty excuse for a man, picked him up and looked at him. the man writhed in his grasp as he grinned at him, exposing his teef, and shook him up and down. Chris didn't look so good so he hurled him to the oposite end of the room yelling "runty man gonna puke!" and laughed as the grren man hit the wall slipped down and of course puked out his guts on the floor. " why does he want fuzzy 'at?" the ork said to the nearby solitaire who was lent against the wall.


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## deathbringer

Deathbringer heard the announcement from inside his cupboard and realised that this called for desperate action
He summonned his courage and rolled a leadership test
shit a 10
suddenly he smelled burning wood
his save my ass senses kicked in and he decided to run for it 
he fell out of the cupboard and stumbled into a large ork
he looked up
and up
and up
Deathbringer paused for one second as he stared at the green mostrosity above him
Shit he said


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## SPARTAN-117

Realising that Mangled Moose was closing SPARTAN-117 (Master Chief (John)) decided to buy 10 of the finest beers and give them all to solitaire hoping that he/she would get drunk and drop the reveal where Chris' fuzzy hat was so that he could give it to him and hopefully have something good come out of it  .


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## Vaz

Archon Vaz returned. Bow Tie, Coat Tails, White Front, dressed to the 9's.

"I believe I have a reservation?" The Bouncer who had thrown him out earlier soon changed his thoughts over him, and stood straighter. 

"Indeed, m'lord. Right this way. Seating for one or are you bringing some Wych Escorts with you later?"

"No, it's just a quiet drink by myself. Do you have any seats near to the entertainment?"

"Certainly, right this way." Pushing his way through the crowd, he found his place. Placing his order for some Mandrake Infusion, he Waited. And Watched...

He almost wished one of those Oafs would try and attack him.


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## SPARTAN-117

Master Chief then realised that Vaz wanted to be attacked by using sorcery to read his and everybody elses minds. So he got another pint of beer walked over to Vaz and smashed it over his head and then walked into the crowd and started a big fight (if they weren't already fighting).


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## karix bloodfist

karix looked down at deathbringer "oh mork, 'ere we go again" and grinned at him. seing a large fight in the room he yelled "which of you runts started the fight without me? WAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!" then charged dethbringer first, into the cloud of violence that was the fight.


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## BlackApostleVilhelm

Vilhelm got up and roared in anger. His astartes physique had already worked off the Fenrisian ale and when he heard the moose would be closing he couldnt for the life of him figure out why he shouldnt hit something. He saw a large fight start in the middle of the bar and looked for somebody his size so the fight could last, there an ork. He let out a warcry and charged the ork, tackling him to the ground, the chaos tattooes all over his body writhing and glowing.


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## Flerden

Flerden took a chair and hitted Master Chief straigth in the head.
''Do not waste beer, you idiot'' He said while he walked to the disk and got him another beer.


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## Mordeth

Mordeth heard the announcement that the Moose was closing down, screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" drew a breath, then screamed some more, "-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" he realized this was kinda stupid, as the annopuincement had also said it would reopen soon again, "-OOOOOOOJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!" and dashed from his hiding space, jumped up, landed with both feet on the big ork's head, knocking him away leaving the other Tau in the clear, ran past, jumped up, stepped on the heads of Chris, Solitaire, and a few others (everyone he could see) before he jumped down on Vaz feet first into his stomach.
"AH, WHAT A DAY!" he shouted then, grabbed a bottle from somewhere and emtied it on the furball called IamI.

then he stepped back.

And after a long silence, shouted, "WELL? ARE YOU ALL JUST GOING TO STAND THERE? WE HAVE A MOOSE TO LET LOOSE!"
Then started breaking everything he saw, hitting, kicking and biting the other customers!


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## chrisman 007

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMASH! Chris slammed through the window and landed on the ground, leaving a large skidmark in the grass. Chris, not being one to be beaten, got out his lighter and smashed through one of the mooses other windows, shouting "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!!!!" There was a fight of epic proportions, and Chris didn't want to miss it. He started hitting random people in the melee, Master chief, Solitare, Vilhelm and whoever else got in his way. As a finally of the deluge of chaos, Chris lobbed his lighter at the bar, in order to cause as much devastation as possible. "FIRE!!! FIRE!!! AHHAHAHAHA!!!!" It was then he noticed the lost property. There was what you'd expect, glasses, a phone, a porn mag, and something that caught Chris's eye. A small, furry hat, with a soviet symbol on it. A rather fuzzy hat. Chris's fuzzy hat. "Ah!!! Ah!!!! Fuzzy hat!!! Fuzzy hat on fire!!! Chris jumped in and grabbed the fuzzy hat from the approaching flames, running away from the fire. He had his fuzzy hat back! Everything was fine, everything was brilliant! He put his on his hat in triumph and then smelt burning. And then more burning. He was on fire! "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"


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## karix bloodfist

"hey look" karix pointed at chris running round in circles, "runty man on fire, runty man on fire!! he do da burny dance heheh WAAAAAArgh!" and charged into the fight fists swinging, tables flying, oh and the barkeep didn't look to happy. "fie spredaing need to find thing that puts out fire" karix mumbled ducking from a low flying table "stupid runty man setting fings alight, wheres a burna boy when u need 'em?" karix picked up the still flaming chris shook him then duned him in a bucket of ice cold vodka, steam rising, a exasperated chris looked up at karix.......


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## Mordeth

... and then at thin air as Mordeth once again crashed heels first into Karix's face, making his big form fly through the air.
Then Mordeth looked down at chrisman... "come to think of it... doesn't alchohol burn rather well?" before he drew out a small lighter and fired chris up... again!


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## Vaz

"Aaaahh, Mordeth, so good of you to join... Oooophh" Seeing Mordeth cjumping into him, Archon Vaz assumed he was just giving him a big big welcome. Not to be, as his feet planted themselves in his gut.

From his back, Vaz looked up. "Now what was the reasoning for that, now?"

Seeing his Malibu, Mandrake Blood, and Mojito infusion coming towards him, by a busty wench, he picked up his drink, flirted with her, slapped her rump, and saw her go up the stairs to his room. "Excellent, a nice little something for after. Er... Where was I?"

Suddenly, a burning Chrisman bumped into him.

"Now I remember!" Elbowing Chris in the head, and snatching a bottle of Malibu off the Bartop, he downed what was left, smashed the bottle on the table, and then promptly glassed Vilhelm in the eye.

"Take that Mon'keigh!" Power Rangers - Go!


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## Col. Schafer

(I assume I'm alowed to jump in)

The doors slamed open with a mighty crash and the attention of those not distracted with maters of survival was turned to the figure standing in the doorway. As his left foot slowly lowerd itself from the kicking position used to open the door, the doors swung back closed and knocked him flatly back out onto the street. Regaining composure quickly the figure let to his feet pushing the door open with considerably less force. Masaging his bloody nose with his free hand, he took in his suroundings. He made a verry confused face.

Perhaps at this juncture in my naritive it would be aproprate to describe the figure of the man who would soon captivate the minds of many a moose go-er. He was of average height, wore normal jeens, sported a head of long black hair, and a coat that was slightly to lare for him, but served only to ad the imposing aura he inexplicably produced. Most interesting of his features was his guitar wich was sling over his back, and what a guitar it was! A stratacaster of unique green blue and black hues, its wammy bar adorned with a diamond of the best quality. 

As he accepted the fact that he would again be stuck in a situation where he would have to make an ill fiting improviastional use of his powers of entertainment, Chuck weeved thru the brawl, avoiding a somewhat deranged looking man who was ablaze and seemed to be woried about his hat. He made his way finaly to the bar. Hoping atop it, he pulled down his guitar. He strummed it a few times, tested the wind, took stock of the humidity, consulted the cosmic fish, and let loose with the first notes of the ancient litiny "Mr. Crowley", relesing the full volume of the lowdest artifact of entertainment that had been produced by the long (nearly) extinct race of man.

---

Oh! I just thaught of somthing, is it ok with everyone if I play two charactors (well actualy it would be 3...)?


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## IamI1966

"YOU WANT A FUZZY HAT, ILL GIVE YOU FUZZY HAT" IamI yelled at Chrisman as he jumped on his head and started punching with all his might.


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## BlackApostleVilhelm

Vilhelm stumbled back grabbing his face. He roared as he pulled his ruined eye out of his socket and pulled the burning chrisman out of the vodka and proceeded to use him as a club. He saw the Dark Eldar that had gouged his eye and tossed chrisman at him with all of his might. The two fell to the floor in a heap and Vilhelm went on a rampage through the bar smashing everything in sight.


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## deathbringer

Deathbringer staggered to the blazing bar amazingly unhurt due to Mordeth's prompt ass saving action
The bar man looked through the flames and with amazing calm said "and for u sir" 
Sherry please
However it was to no avail
A screaming chrisman slammed into him and knocked him to the floor spilling his sherry
From an inside pocket some silver pamphlets slipped gently into a pool of burning alcohol
Now u can do many things to a tau
U can feed his mother to an orc and he will remain calm
But u do not burn his pamphlets
I dont know if you have seen a tau angry
But i hope to god u havent
It's pathetic

Deathbringer raged and flew into chrisman kncoking him to the ground
He turned and screamed "bring it bitches"


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## chrisman 007

Chris (who was apparently everybody's punchbag) had forgotten what had actually happened. All he knew is that he was on fire, his fuzzy hat was on his head (on fire) and that he was flying towards a yet unsmashed window. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" SMASH! A large skid was left in the grass as Chris landed. He was still on fire, though, and the grass began to catch fire. "Uh-oh." Chris ran towards the bar, but tripped on a stone and landed in an ornamental pond. His fire was out, and he ran back into the bar, fuzzy hat intact and ready for a fight. A tau was having a tantrum on the floor. His pamphlets were on fire, probably Chris's doing. As the tau had hit him a number of times on his way out the window, Chris gave him an almighty kick, sending the little guy flying. Chris then saw BlackApostleVilhelm. This chap was the guy that threw him out the window. Chris ordered a beer with a lot of ice and dunked it down the back of Vilhelm. "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you," said Chris with a vengeful grin.


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## karix bloodfist

"fire everywhere" the karix mutterd picking up the stricken tau and lobbing him through the window. "people doing the burny dance everywhere" he thought looking at the flames, most of them coming from the bucket where he dunked chris. picking up a table, he swung it round in a orgy of destruction andhit chris whos manaical grin and he went into the wall.....


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## Flerden

Flerden gt hit by Karix when he swung the table around and flew att Black apostle Vilhelm and then att the floor.
When he got back up he saw a tau standing nearby and took him and threw him att Karix.
''Never again hit me with a table!!' He yelled to Karix.


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## SPARTAN-117

Then Master Chief came up from behind Karix and grabbed both his arms above his head before dropping him on the floor and hitting Flerden with a gun that had smuggled past the bouncer .


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## deathbringer

Deathbringer stumbled to the window resting his bleeding nose on the sill all concept of the greater good gone
bastards he would make them pay
he saw Archon Vaz retiring from the fight half a bar stool in his hand and a smug look upon his face
Deathbringer hailed him loudly and he stumbled over the bar stool raised
"excuse me sir" said deathbringer "ur help in this bar fight would be appreciated" 
and in an undertone he whispered "eternal salvation, two beers and a 3 way with those two cutes daemonettes if u help me kick some ass"


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## SPARTAN-117

Master Chief saw this alliance forming up when he had been punched by someone in the crowd so he decided to ask Chris if he would help him take out Deathbringer and Archon Vaz. However whilst waiting for a reply he decided to hit someone behind him and then charge at Deathbringer and Archon Vaz.


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## solitaire

Solitaire looked about him. So far he had been sat on, punched ,set on fire and numerous other things and he had had enough. He started to walk towards the Webway portal, pausing only to kick the Tau as he passed him. He reached the portal and activated it. He was about to walk through when he suddenly remembered something: He had left his gold here! Without hesitation he raced to the bathroom, knocking Chris, Vilhelm and Flerden spinning as he went. As he entered he quickly swung open the door of a cubicle and lifted up the toilet seat to see a small cauldron of Russian gold.
"Bingo!" Solitaire whispered and, with a tremendous heave, ripped the toilet out of the wall. He poked his head out of the doorway and saw the Webway portal still open. This was his chance. Solitaire charged out of the bathrooms and using the toilet as a battering ram he knocked Master Chief out of the way and then leapt into the air as two flaming pillars fell from the ceiling and slid he inbetween them, bog and all, and to the other side. He was just 10 feet from the prtl. He was going to make it! He was actually going to make it. . .


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## karix bloodfist

...then karix got in his way, grabbing the eladr and shaking him "by all the orky gods why the hell did you blow up the bog?" the second passeed and the webway portal blinked out of existence, making solitaire scream in anguish....


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## Col. Schafer

Chuck finished his first song, and looked around as he played the last few chords. Smiling, he raised his fist triumphantly, only to find that he had been compleately ignored. How these fools could ignore his shere awsomeness eluded him and he decided to do somthing about it. Hoping down behind the bar, he handed his guitar to the bartender. 

"Would you mind holding this for a moment, if it breaks I'll kill you."

With that he hoped back over the bar, and picked up a stool. The only way to get an audiance here it seemed was to crack some skulls. 

He saw a blue thing with a nose bleede muttering to another bar-goer. Deciding that he should be the one held responsible, he rushed twards him in a rage and cracked the bar stool over his head.

"Listen to my [email protected]#$ing music dam you!!!"


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## SPARTAN-117

Then Master Chief randomly hits everybody but Chris and Karix with a steel chair.


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## karix bloodfist

" gork i hate these steel chairs" karix mumbled dropping a chair and glaring at the master chief bellowed at the spartan, and charged forward "gonna kill people with chairs WAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his voice. smashing into chris, solitaire and chuck, he grabbed the master chief and threw him out of the window, went up to the barkeep and ordered another 10 pints of fungus beer and sat down and kicked a chair on the floor.


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## chrisman 007

"STALIN'S GOLD!!!!" Chris charged at Solitaire, who had been caught by Karix, and grabbed his....I mean Stalin's gold. "That is the people's gold!!!!" Chris headed towards the door. Fire was growing, and was about to reach the beer taps. He was going to go out with a bang, and have his...I mean Stalin's gold and his fuzzy hat. But of course it wasn't going to be that easy...


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## karix bloodfist

Karix looked at the fire " da burny stuff is going to go bang" in a almost worried way " Burny going to go bang!" this time he shouted it. karix looked at chris who was struggiling whith his, i mean stalins gold (LOL). he grabbed chris and held stalins gold in one hand and kicked everyone out his way as he made a fastie to the door. when he got to the door, he grabbed his last pint of Fungus beer and lobbed it into the fire. it went bang and the ork giggled as it blew a large chunk out of the moose, suddenly colapsing into fits of histerics as the place ripped itself apart.


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## solitaire

"NOOOOOO! That's my gold! I won it fair and square!" Yelled Solitaire as he dived into Karix, knocking the pot of gold out of his hands. As it flew through the air it smashed into a wall and with a tremendous crack the pot broke in half. Solitaire jumped on Chris's head and grabbed one half of the pot. Deciding to quit while he was ahead he leapt towards the Webway portal and with a hysterical laugh disappeared through it...

((OOC: Right that'll be me out until the new opening, good luck. . .))


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## SPARTAN-117

Then Master Chief appeared at the door just a Karix got to and said, "You know, throwing me out of the window wasn't very nice and didn't lay a scratch on me thanks to this Mark VI armour. Also you might want to run the other way. Actually I'll throw you the other way, rescue Chris and lock all the doors. So I hope you know a good locksmith. Cause otherwise, you go boomy. Bye!" Then Master Chief does all that he just said and rescued everyone but Karix. :grin: :victory:

However he did douse out a flame.

((OOC: That's me... for now :laugh: ))


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## Mordeth

A bit dissapointed Mordeth stood in the middle of the raging fight, nobody giving him more than a passing glance.
"Why, you stinking curs!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Here I knock you over, bite you, kick you, hit you with bottles and chairs, run on your heads, and you dare to IGNORE ME??! GRAAAAAAAH! I will have my revenge!" before setting off a photon grenade he had hidden from the guards, making people cower in fright (and shock) as the bright light from the very small blast filled the remains of the Moose.
Then he calmy walked to the Webway gate, kicking the ork, Karix, in the groin and pushing the burning Chris into Vaz, then said "See ya!" and dissapeared through the portal.


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## SPARTAN-117

Then Master Chief walked back in saw the portal and walked through it saying, "Ooh, Shiny thing :biggrin:!"


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## Col. Schafer

Chuck looking at the unresponsive body of the blue thing crouched down nervously and took its pulse. finding it to be alive he tentitively poked it.

"Sorry bout that, but did you get the bit about the music?"


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## Viscount Vash

_Bogman_ the new owner emerged from the celler.


"Come on you orrible lot, aint you got omes to go to?"

"No?" he grunts "Well go though there with that there troll and bugger off to the new _Moose Club_ this Gaffs closed!"

Crossing his arms across his chest _Bogman_ leaned back as he watched his Stone Trolls moved, carried or ushered all the Customers towards the celler and the time space portal behind the coolers...............


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