# Another night at the Mangled Moose.



## Viscount Vash

Malochus said:


> _The Mangled Moose famous for cheap drink, cheap food and cheaper women. A place of violence and suffering, its the ideal hang out for the worlds drop outs. Famed for massive brawls...DUCK it's all going off again!
> 
> The Rules
> 
> -Nothing can be used that wouldn't normally be found in a traditional bar. i.e. No lasers, guns or such like.
> -This is not a 'kill the above poster' topic. If someone did somthing to you a page back.. feel free to have your sweet revenge.
> 
> Lets get it started_



This was a great idea, so I am going to try and start it afresh. But remember credit to Malocus for the original.

*The revised rules.*

Please make your posts of some quality and think of it as a story telling thread where we all take turns.

No weapon can be taken on to the premises (this includes the beer garden and car park). It is physically impossible resulting in the _MOOSE _taking a direct action agaisnt the individual.
The _Moose_ will deal with rule breakers in this colour text. btw.

You may use anything that may be to hand in a normal pub or bar (stools etc) as a weapon.

This is not to the death it?s a laugh. Maul, kick, bite, scream and fight dirty but funny too!

No commitment required; if you don't post for a while you're knocked out by the action against you, for however long until you post again.

Its a general melee so any one can get stuck in to anyone else.


The Mangled Moose
_The Mangled Moose_ is a drinking house known throughout Time and Space, from the 41st millennium to the days of Bugmans famous brew.
After the last time it had been destroyed many magical sources had been used to render it impervious to flame or sorceries, advanced machines hummed as they powered the many systems that ran the pub.
Down in the cellar, next to the sounds of the fridges and beer lines was the steady throb of the source of the _Moose's_ power.
The Rift was a gateway to any time or place thus enabling_ The Mangled Moose_ to procure large supplies of any drink known to anyone/it/thing known,
Also of course for the customers to reach the place in the, well, er the first place.
Fights are quite common in this cosmopolitan atmosphere and this is how the place has been destroyed seven times before.
Apart from that it looks like an average pub with all that you expect to find therein.


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## Viscount Vash

Viscount Vash walked slowly across the dingy pub, his feet crunching on nut shells and broken glass. Just my kinda place he thought to himself. 
Sitting on a bar stool he ordered a bottle of _Old Keeper SurrReal Ale_ and waited to see what denzines of the night fell in to this murky drinking hole...................................


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## cccp

cccp, armed with fake ID, walks up to the dusty bar, and orders the strongest russian vodka there was. 

he sits down on a dusty, beer stained bar stool and drinks....


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## Viscount Vash

Swigging from his bottle of _Old Keeper SurrReal Ale_ the Viscount glanced at the newcomer, not enough for a good scrap yet......but given time more would come.........


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## cccp

cccp stopped his drinking for a second, and looked around the bar. the place was shabby to say the least. his eyes came to rest on the pink haired stranger sitting across the bar from him. he continued to stare, whist muttering to the barman odd comments about the Viscount's orientation....


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## Viscount Vash

finishing his drink, Vash then saw 3 strangers in the bar ( The _Old Keeper SurrReal ale_ was doing the business..) The Viscount's finely attuned Slaaneshi hearing caught the end of a muttered comment...... taking offence for the hell of it he lobbed the empty bottle at the one in the middle and ordered another beer........


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## cccp

cccp ducked as he saw a large brown bottle flying towards him, knocking off his wooly russian hat. filled with rage, shakily stood up off the stool, picked up his hat, and marched up to the viscount. 

picking him up by the scruff of his slaneshi neck, he threw him acros the bar, into the dishwasher, and shut the dishwasher door.

he started the wash cycle with a grin....


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## Elchimpster

Standing at the urinal, only slightly wobbling and wondering where the zipper is on his shiny new Mk VIII Power Armor...realizing there isn't one...Elchimpster backs away, turns, and looks in to the mirror. The IV Drip of Bacardi 151 was starting to finally have an effect...after 6-7 litres of the stuff.

Grabbing his helmet, Elchimpster strides out of the Men's Latrine back in to the shabby bar...ducking as he crosses the threshold.

"Looks like old pink-hair is here...and some scrawny kid."


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## Cadian81st

Cadian81st stumbled through the Moose's doors, on the run from an overzealous comissar. this looked to be the perfect place to hide for a while. trying to blend in as best one can when he's wearing the uniform of a guardsman, Cadian quickly grabbed a drink and retired to a grubby corner booth, where he could watch who was coming in and out. sighing, he leaned back and tried not to stare at the pink haired fellow at the bar, whom he felt a strange aversion to.


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## Viscount Vash

Enjoying the play of the scalding hot water jets upon his person, the by now heavily drugged Vash tried to remember how he got here and for that matter where the frick was here......................

....A small niggling voice at the back of is mind clamoured for attention........

That was it ! Why the woolly hat wearing *&%**%! 

Making a mental note to return and enjoy the dishwasher's sensual and painful caress another time, he burst from it confines wielding two pint glasses. Slamming them into either side of the first persons head he saw with his steam misted eyes........................................


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## Elchimpster

"That was unnecissary pink-hair" Elchimpster said flatly.
"Lucky you didn't damage my booze-bag" gesturing to the IV Drip.

Elchimpster flicks off the bits of glass and sits at the bar.


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## wertypop

After yet another day digging holes and filling sandbags for the glory of the Emperor Wertypop needed a drink and the Moose was a calling!
With a begrudged moan he left his trusty Lazgun at the door along with his trusty GS spade.
He could not belive that someone was abusing the glass washing machine
Still he was here for a drink not a fight!
He had all night for one on them!


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## Viscount Vash

Deeply disappointed at the lack of reaction from the Spacemarine Vash wanders over to the general vicinity of the dart board......


(OOC= Out Of Character. Nice to see so many in guys have fun.  )


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## Anphicar

Suddenly drawn from his flect-induced stupor, Anphicar starts.

Looking about the bar from his shadowed corner with glazed eyes... he sees the commings of a fight.


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## Viscount Vash

Knowing that the spacemarine (Elchimpster) was no longer paying attention Vash sidled up and used a dart purloined from the board to make a small hole in his IV..... 'See how long that lasts yer now' he thought as a vindictive grin spread across his face.

Stomping up to the bar he ordered another _ Old Keeper SurReal ale_ and a bag of pistacio nuts.....................


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## wertypop

On passing a not to upright Spacemarine(Elchimpster) Wertypop gracefully slides towards the bar on the liquid oozeing from its booze bag.
On reaching the bar orders a stiff one!


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## Elchimpster

Razor keen senses honed in years of battle, and subsequent drunken debaucheries (Who said Elchimpster is a loyalist?) the renegade astartes smells the acrid smell of alcohol and hears the sound of dripping liquid...and promptly grabs a tall glass and squeezes out the remainder of his Bacardi 151.

Looking around for the culprit...
"Party Foul!"
and slugs back the remainder of the acrid beverage and pulls on his helmet.

Through the enhanced audio of the chest-mounted vox...
"Buuuuurp"


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## Anphicar

After clearing his fogged mind, Anphicar noticed the perverse follower of Slaanesh and his brash action of cutting the peculiar IV on the once-Marine. 

Anphicar ever slowly slinks further down into his seat, melting into the shadows unnoticed, mulling over his possible future courses of action. . .


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## Cadian81st

Cadian watches the action unfolding with mild interest, careful not do draw attention to himself.


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## Jacobite

After leaving his less-than-Puritan weapon at the door Jacobite slips his way into the Moose. Quickly and quietly - making sure to remain unnoticed he makes his way to the far end of the bar and quickly orders a pint of the black stuff. Turning around he then crepts into a booth to begin to plan how to exact the Emporers will on any heretics not powerful enough to be useful.


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## cccp

cccp grabs an awful painting of a cat off the wall and slams it over the head of elchipmster, who falls off his stool, and os now constricted by the frame of the painting. he them pops the booze bag....


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## Viscount Vash

Contentedly munching upon the nuts, the Viscount looks around the gradually fiiling bar, his eyes clearing of the ale induced fug he realised that he is not the only non-Imperial in the place. Maybe he would have to share.

As the follower of Slaanesh took a long pull of his _Old Keeper SurReal Ale_ he wondered 'Where did all these Guardsmen come from?' 
That was the thing that he liked about Guard, there was always plenty of them to torment.

With these thoughts in mind Vash starts to flick pistashio shells at the nearest one, watching as the shells neatly bounced off Wertypop's head and fell with little plops into the the grimy Guardsmans drink. 

The night could only get better......................................................


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## Jacobite

Concerned at the overzeolousness nature of cccp_one Jacobite stands up and makes his way to the bar where he presents the =I= seal to the bartender and leaps behind the bar before disappearing through the barmans door and into the back room. He returns moments later and turns his back to the room as he pores a glass of spirits.

Puting his best Puritan face on he makes his way over to cccp_one with what appears to be a free glass of Vodka. He then presents the glass to cccp_one and congratualtes him on his faith in taking down the fallen Astartes. Chuffed to bits cccp_one downs the glass and then promptly falls over next to Elchimp, comatosed, from the powerful cocktail of alcohol and industrial strenght toliet cleaner which Jacobite mixed into the drink.

Smiling to himself Jacobite returns to his corner to continue his oberservations and micromangent of the situation.


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## wertypop

On expertly stopping the nuts with his head and controlling it with the power of luck into his drink!

Wertypop draws Vashes attention to the fact that during his stint in the "Pot Washer" The colour if his attire seams to of turned to a offworld GAY and that his leopard skin pants have shrunk!

And suggests that its a good job there is not a pole in the Moose because he would hate to seen such a ugly bugger rubbing ones self up and down it!


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## Elchimpster

"That's IT" Elchimpster roars and picks himself up off the floor.
Turning and stretching forth his hand (plucking off the ruined booze bag) Elchimpster calls out to the forces of the warp for power. Heeding his call the warp answers...

Channelling the focused energies of the emperyan casts a baleful spell.

"Here little one, here is a gift" Elchimpster gestures to CCCP "a gift of CHAOS!"

Purple and green flame surge from Elchimpster's hands and envelop CCCP.

Maybe due to the influence of the Bacardi 151 (seven litres is a LOT) and maybe due to the displeasure with the servant of Tzeentch, the spell is corrupted, changing CCCP not in to a chittering spawn, but in to a gerbil.

Elchimpster grimaces, and picks up the gerbil by the tail.

"Here, this is for you...enjoy...pervert." The former librarian says as he hands the gerbil to Vash, the pink-haired slaaneshi devotee.

"Bartender" Elchimpster roars! "Another round for everyone...including that skulking character in the corner"


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## wertypop

"Why thank you very much for the drink!"

"May I just say now it might be a good time to remove that "awful pussy picture" from around you neck!"


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## Elchimpster

"Good call mortal" and Elchimpster rips the delapidated frame from his shoulders and tosses it to the floor.

"Care to play darts? I can shoot from here, and you can shoot from over there...at the line...you know...give you a chance and all." as the sorcerer grins wickedly.


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## wertypop

On excepting the drink and ensuring that it has no industrial strength toilet cleaner in it.
Wertypop considers the the offer of a game of darts but knowning that he has most likely used with all luck up with the head/peanut/glass thing!
But as a Pioneer and a gentleman he takes up the offer of the game.
"Yes I would like a game but waht do you want to play?"

"Start from 305 start on a double,but Im not too good a killer its the old BS of 3 dose not do much for the aim."

"Oh and we aim at the board!"


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## Elchimpster

"Thanks for the clarification...I was considering aiming at that seedy character...Jacobite he may be called." Elchimpster focuses on the patterns in the chaos, seeing the lines of probability (Warptime is my friend)...and throws three darts at a time, all hitting the perfect mark as desired.

"Your turn...friend".


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## cccp

cccp bites off one of vash's fingers... then calls upon the dubious powers of the moose to change him back, and punish elchimpster for using a non barfight weapon!


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## wertypop

To engrosed in the game of darts to notice the GERBIL/CCCP transfomation,Wertypop says.

"Were you aiming to score 3 if you were thats perfect aim you have!"
"Next time I would go for 20"

"Bar steward!"
"Sorry I mean barman!"

Wertypop turns towards the bar,"Please could you pass me my Master carfted darts"

Wertypop collects darts from barman"These should even up the odds a bit"and walks to the line,
"I take it we are going straight into the game then?"
With the first throw he scores a 15,With the second a double 1!
and with the last a 20!
"Well not bad 37! Im pleased! Just need to pop to the loo old bean will be back in a mo,you might as well have you go While Im sure we Know what you will most likely score"


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## Elchimpster

"Do you hear something?" Elchimpster asks.
"I hear a chittering...like a muskrat...or GERBIL!"


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## wertypop

(Walking toward the toilets)Wertypop turns "No I cant hear any thing"

On turning back Wertypop notices one of Vashes fingers on the floor and picks it up,looks at it and says"I dont think much of the finger buffet!"

"Ah I have a use for this!"With that Wertypop walks to the loo(Thats the MALE toilets not the FEMS!)


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## Viscount Vash

Vash watches in fascination as his stump starts to writh and mutate, slowly it grows back, but not as it was before........................................... a huge and manic grin spreads over Vash's leering face.
"Ah, and I have a use for this!" With that the depraved servant of Slaanesh walks to the Gents.....................................


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## Elchimpster

"Werty...in case you need a good wipe, I hear Gerbils work nicely..." gesturing to CCCP.

*OOC, I think turning CCCP in to a gerbil is perfectly reasonable and fair. No harm was done and he'll have fun in his fluffy form until he changes back.


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## cccp

*continues to be fluffy*

crawls down the neck of els power armour and begins gouging flesh out of his back.


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## Elchimpster

"Ooooh, that feels good. I little to the left...not too far down...oh I wouldn't do that...that us the fecal waste tube...ewwwww" Elchimpster grimaces.

"Well...I warned you"


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## cccp

*digs for spleen*


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## Elchimpster

*Heals as fast as CCCP can dig*


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## cccp

cccp bursts out of the front of the armour, lutching elchimpesers spleen in one furry hand. (like in that seen form aliens.)

cccp throws spleen at anphicar


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## Elchimpster

"That's got to be a mutant Gerbil!" Elchimpster says, patching the hole with duct tape.


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## Anphicar

Nimbly avoiding a thrown organ, Anphicar furtively looks at all possible sources of exit.

Deciding that the bar would soon turn into a gladitorial arena, Anphicar arms himself silently with a glass carafe, dashing the end against the pole supporting the table.


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## wertypop

On entering the toilets Wertypop comes to the toilet that had been blocked for a few weeks having a good prod and a poke with the Demonic Diget he trys unblock the offending Crapper.
But alas to no avail!keeping the finger an arms lenghth he leaves the toilets and heads for the bar.


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## Jacobite

Toasting El-Chimpster for the drink but not actually drinking it Jacobite veiws the scene as a soon to be battle zone and once again leaves his booth and the drink to leap over the bar. This time instead of mixing up a another batch of toliet vodka he heads into the kitchen and returns with a large frying pan. Taking up postion just back from the entrance to the pumps and bar area, he makes a few experimental swings with the pan, loosing up his muscles for the coming hilarity.

Knowing that anybody who wants to recreate his trick with the solvent cocktail will have to get passed him and his kitchen impliment he chuckles to himself and pulls back to his hood so that his perifial vision is not imparred. He leans against the wall and waits.


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## cccp

using newly aquired gerbil skillz, cccp sneaks into the kitchen past the waiting jacobite. he then leaps on to an unsuspecting jacos face, giving him suck a shock he releases a burts of psyker energy and turns cccp back into a human, although hes still a little furry.

he then hits jaco with a fierce uppercut and runs away merrily.


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## Jacobite

Reeling from the uppercut Jacobite stumbles and drops the pan on his foot. After a second of cursing he regans his compossure and picks up a bottle of vodka.

"You like Vodka don't you cccp_one? - here have this!" and throws the bottle full force at cccp_ones running back. Unfortuantly due to the pain in his foot the bottle goes off target and hits Elchimpster in the recently duct-tapped hole in his armour. Nodding his apolgies and remembering to be careful of Elchimpster in the future Jacobite picks up another bottle and after calming himself lobs it again at the sasquacth like cccp_one. Picking up his pan Jacobite returns to his postion while the psykically guided bottle flys towards cccp_one...


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## Elchimpster

Noticing the bottle of vodka, thrown directly at him, Elchimpster aligns himself precisely, allowing the bottle to land perfectly neck-first in the hole in his ceramitite armor...the duct tape cushioning the blow.

"Hell...this is better than the IV!" and with that, the sorcerer leans back at the bar, effectively tipping back the bottle, emptying it in to his abdominal cavity.

As the bottle runs dry, Elchimpster pulls out the bottle, burps in to his gauntleted hand and says "Reload!"


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## Jacobite

Seeing that Elchimpster has taken the missed shot in good faith and has actually enjoyed the experiance Jacobite abiliges and hefts another bottle his way.


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## Pyromanic Tendencies

The fabric of Space-Time buckles and rips as the robed and hooded form of Pyromanic Tendencies is vomited form the Ether with a muffled yelp. "And stay out!" hiss the voices of The Dark Gods as the Warp Gate snaps shut behind behind him. The crumpled Magus raises his head, a grin spearding across his face as he sees where he's landed. He gets unsteadly to his feet, just in time for a flying vodka-bottle to knock him back down.


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## wertypop

Whilst walking back to the bar Wertypop notices that Vash(Who seems to be taking a long time getting to wherever he is going!)coming towards him!
Not wanting to miss the opportunity he wipes the Dirty Demonic Digit under Vashes nose!and announces-

"One smelly tash for Vash"

So that when he finally come to from hes slow sleep walk he will be able to enjoy the fragrance of two week old Floater!
One completing the task Wertypop turns to the bar (With Digit still in hand)just in time to see Pyromaniac Tendencies stop a bottle of Vodka in mid flight!


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## cccp

cccp rusn back into the moose and sees pyro being knocked down. he runs up to him, drinks the vodka, and then breaks the bottle over pyros head.


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## Pyromanic Tendencies

Pyromanic Tendencies gets unsteadly to his feet for the second time, looks round for anymore airbourne beverages, and starts going through the pockets of his robes. He pulls out an auspex, several codices, a DS, a fishing rod and Bricka, his talking brick. Finally, he finds what he's looking for: Gaunt's Ghosts, the COMPLETE omnibus. Talking careful aim, he throws the omnibus at cccp-one, who is by now staggering around the Moose, looking for his Russian Hat. The omnibus strikes him a glancing blow to the side of his head, and the Genestealer-Magus, seeing his work is done, walks to the bar, and orders a pint of bio-gruel.


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## Viscount Vash

Wiping the grotesque mushstacio from his upper lip the Viscount decides to remind the 'irksome janitor' of the differences between worshipers of Slaanesh and those that follow papa Nurgle..........Swiftly appearing behind Wertypop and grabbing the back of the guardsmans head he slams wertys face repeatedly into the bar top.

"I _*BANG*_ worship _*BANG*_ Slaanesh _*BANG*_ not _*BANG*_ Nurgle. _*BANG*_ I _*BANG*_ like _*BANG*_ pleasure _*BANG*_ and _*BANG*_ PAIN _*BANG*_ not _*BANG*_ plagues _*BANG*_ and _*BANG*_ Turds _*BANG*_. See, _*BANG*_ Im _*BANG*_ Enjoying _*BANG*_ your _*BANG*_ pain _*BANG*_ right _*BANG*_ now!"_*BANG*_

Turning away from the bleeding and unconsious guardsman Vash strides purposefully to the pool table.........................


(OOC: A Turd Tash! Damn you Werty, Damn your very eyes :lol: .)

(OOC: PS. Im not online again till tommorrow folks so do not expect any interactions till then. :wink: VV.)


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## wertypop

Luckly being a Pioneer and not having too much upstairs to damage!No undo-able harm is done.
Wertypop can now have some quality time to himself!
and time to think!

*&^"£!$%^&()%$%$%£""$£ 

NO WRONG IDEA!

Ah!

'Lime what gose with lime?Dam I must get on the Vox mobile to my good mate Balthasar Woll,He would know the answer!'


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## cccp

cccp looks around tha bar, which by now is spinning. he thinks that the vox mobile wertypop has just got out of his pocket is his russian hat. he staggers up to him, punches him, and puts the vox on his head.


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## Anphicar

Anphicar anxiously backs away from the growing tension in the bar, attempting to supress his anger, his fear, his disgust. 

_Noone likes me when I'm angry_, he thought.

He vainly tries to shut out the..._whispers_...


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## Firewolf

>> Firewolf walks through the door of the Moose, and makes for the bar, punching Anphicar on the way by, only stopping to offer him a drink.


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## cccp

cccp falls over and passes out, and as he falls the vox falls off his head and clatters to the floor.


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## Elchimpster

Elchimpster grabs the vox, tosses it back to Wertypop who seems to need a drink after the thrashing he received. Comes back over to CCCP, and hefts him up, plopping him back in to a booth next to Jacobite.

"Here, half-pint here needs a bit of looking after." The former librarian says.

Tossing a couple credits on the table, "Buy him a drink after he wakes up...he's gonna need it."

"Vash, you sick dog, shouldn't be making some music or something?"
Elchimpster goes back to his spot at the end of the bar...taking a newer stool (after the last one shattered).


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## wertypop

Wertypop falls backwards from CCCPs punch and bounces off the bar and on to the floor from next to the Vox,Which he picks up,and Dials with Dirty Demonic Diget after a brief conversation about lime wertypop hangs up.

On walking to the bar he pokes the brown encrusted finger up Firewolfs nose and orders a drink.


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## Viscount Vash

Seeing Anphicar in the throws of fighting _'the voices'_ he decides to be a gent and assist with the mans internal struggle. Selecting a pool ball Vash throws at Anph hitting squarely between the eyes with some force.........................................*ThoKK*


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## Jacobite

Moving to where cccp_one is lying Jacobite takes the credits that Elchimpster has left and pockets them. Looking at the out of it young feller Jacobite smiles to himself, goes to the bar and returns with a knife and a vivid marker.

"Ooh this is going to be fun" he smirks and begins to relieve cccp_one of all the hair on his face before begining to write nasty obsceneties starting with "I heard that" about Anphicar's mother, Elchimpsters sister's sexual habits and wertypop's regimental combat record.

When he finishs Jacobite stands, move back behind the bar with his frying pan at the ready.


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## cccp

cccp sits up, walks to the bathroom, and washed his face. now covered in watery black ink, he staggers back into the bar, narrowly missing the flying snooker ball. 

he walks up to the barman and orders a strong pick-me-up, then turns around and jumps back into the fray.


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## Anphicar

After being taken advantage of in his unstable condition, Anphicar loses his internal battle once more, a gasp escaping his lips.

Entering a fugue state induced by _them_ Anphicar is goaded, teased. _Go, little-big one. Go. You have seen what they think of you. They all think the same way..._

Bending at the kness to pick up the pool ball, Anphicar curiously observes it with passing interest. Suddenly angry, remembering, Anphicar drops the ball and puts a hand to his head. 

Blood. A small trickle, already congealing. But blood nonetheless.

_Yes, blood. Blood little one...__Show them what blood can be!_

"I shall..." rumbled a deep baleful voice, no longer fully Anphicar's.


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## Viscount Vash

_"Yer playing reds"_ Shouts Vash throwing another three red balls in quick succession.......................................


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## cccp

cccp staggers over to the ppol table, picking up a long cue. he then swipes at the blurry pink outline in front of him, hearing a sufficient crack as a pink head hits the cue, he sits down on one of the bar sofas, and tries feebly to recover from a mega hangover.


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## Red Orc

At which point the sofa grunts and stands, dumping the unfortunate cccp_one onto the grimy floor, soaked in beer, blood, and less pleasant fluids; and cccp_one realises in horror that what he thought was a sofa was merely a large Ork, with an _even worse_ hangover, resting under a blanket.

The Ork is strange looking, being red, but that's not uppermost in cccp_one's brain as the Ork bellows in his face and swings its head at terrifying speed straight towards his bleary eyes...

:cyclops:


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## Viscount Vash

The swipe to the head, puts the Viscount off his aim................ the fourth red ball goes wide, rebounds off the wall beside Anphicar _*THOKK*_ heading to the bar and clanging off Jacobite's frying pan _*CLAAAAANGG*_ only to hit the pubs Squighound on the arse........ Snarling the vicious and extremly annoyed hound leaps up looking for the source of its pain.............................its red eyes focus on the still vibrating pan in Jacobites hands......... with a howl of pure fury its leaps at the stunned Jacs its teeth sinking its knife like fangs into his thigh....................


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## Elchimpster

"I have a SISTER!?!?! And she's...MAIM, BURN, KILL" as Elchimpster launches himself in to a mad furious charge in to Anphicar!

Slipping in the blood, beer and other skick fluids on the floor, Elchimpster misses Anphicar entirelly, tripping over the big ork, slamming full-tilt in to CCCP driving them both out of the front door which shatters under the impact.


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## Viscount Vash

A Strange humming starts as the _'Moose'_ heals itself.............black ichor runs down the door frame and congeals into a new door.


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## Red Orc

The Ork, unable to stop his vicious head-butt, slams forward connecting only with the empty air, his target having being propelled sideways faster than his tiny fungal brain could comprehend. Spinning, gracefully for such a huge beast, once, twice, completely head-over-heels, wondering where the moose came from, the Ork smashed into the floor, lay for a moment looking at the ceiling, then vomitted straight upwards, before closing its eyes and sighing contentedly.

:cyclops:


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## Anphicar

_Nooo!_ the mind-beast shrieked. _My pray.._it echoes, withdrawing to its astral home, its energy for the time spent. 

Suddenly devoid of semi-animation, Anphicar drops to his knees and vomits, clutching his pulsing _mind._Tense onlookers, having seen the whole frightening ordeal, begin to laugh at the sort of comic relief.

They quickly lose their smiles and turn as Anphicar glances sidelong at them.


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## wertypop

Wertypop leaps over the bar and rips the cables from the back of the till!
Whilst holding the live cable by the flex Wertypop jabs the bare wires on the the fryingpay in Jacobites hand!

BANG!

Jacobite and Squighound are dancing to the vibe of 240Volts and they are quite good at it!
With the comment of "Shocking"Wertypop leaps back over the bar to see what over havoc he can reak!


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## Jacobite

With a cry of pain Jacobite tears the power cords out of his hand. The Squighound yelps and lets go of his leg. It turns and after a second to recover it leaps at Jacobite's other leg. Before it can latch on however Jacobite pans the thing right across the face. The Squighound falls to the floor and bares its teeth. Jacobite returns the gesture and imposes his will on the ugly thing after a staring match lasting several minutes. When the squighound finally concedes defeat Jacobite rips the power cord from the wall and makes a leash out of it for his new best freind.

"Right Bobuless - how about we put our humourly changed friend in his place and show him the place of a Imperial Guardsmen - but first lets give you some real teeth!"

Taking a peice of glowing green stone from a velvet pouch at his waist Jacobite presses it into Bobuless's neck. The Squighound shakes for a bit and then in a spray of green blood sprouts a extra head. No longer looking like a orky tadpole the Squighound now looks a appropriate companion for the Xanthite Mallus Inquistior. 

"Thats better - the end justifies the means and this end is nasty!"

Picking up the drink that Elchimpster had bought him Jacobite makes his way over to Wertypop and throughs it all over him, Bobuless then burbs a small flame and Werty is immolated due to both Bobuless's warp alltered breath and the high alchol content of the drink. Laughing to himself Jacobite pans the screaming Guardsmen across the face and then returns to his booth, Bobuless at his side chewing on Wertypops boot which he kindly relieved the burning meatsheild off.


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

As Pyromanic Tendencies finishes his bio-gruel, he looks round at the unfolding carnage behind him. He grins, taking aim with his empty glass. Just as he is about to throw the missle into the fray, a large, red Fungoid crashes to the floor beside him, and vomits messily all over the magus. 
"Oh throne, it burnssssss...."


----------



## cccp

cccp crawls from beneath the hulking form of elchimpster, back through the pub door, and yet again, falls unconsious.


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop minus one boot and with his new orange/red/yellow all over body warmer!(As supplied by Jacobite TM)
Makes his way quick time to the toilets to douse the flames!


----------



## Red Orc

The Ork, stiring from his hungover state, wakes, stands, and lurches forward, chasing the burning guardsman.

Unfortunately, in his beffudled state, he misses the prone form of cccp_one, trips, and comes crashing once more to the floor.

:cyclops:


----------



## wertypop

Thinking that Red Ork is yet more fire can to join the infurno!Wertypop make a dash for the window using CCCP as a spring board he dives head first through the window!

SMASH!................ 

Luckly some one had left the cellar hatch open so this stopped Wertypop fom hitting the ground!

THUD....CLANG!

As the barrels brake his fall!


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir opens door, silence , "holy crap" the fighting continues Sei 'fir grabs the nearest stool and braces himself...


----------



## wertypop

Rolling around in the deepest beer puddle he can find Wertypop puts himself out!
And looks round the cellar for the best beer


----------



## Red Orc

Having slept, as he thought, all night - though perhaps it was only a few minutes - the Ork shuffles to his feet. Swaying, he lurches forward, fixating on the only moving target he can see. As he gets closer, he reaches out with a massive red claw that closes, relentlessly, around Sei'fir's...

...stool.

:cyclops:


----------



## cccp

*still unconsious*


----------



## Red Orc

Gradually, the Ork's fierce expression changes - his eys shrink into his head - or rather, his head seems to slide over them. His down turned mouth droops even more than usual. His heavy brows become heavier. His hands fall, limp, lifeless at his sides for a moment. Then he scratches his arse.

It seems the Ork is trying to think.

Orks think quickly, when they have to; their tiny brains are not built for complex reasoning. Suddenly, the Ork seizes on the thought, and within a fraction of a second has throttled it and torn its throat out, as Orks are wont to do with their prey, no matter how metaphorical.

Something is missing - the Ork must find it! He drops to the floor and begins to sniff. Nearly distracted by the beer - nearly, oh so nearly distracted by the squighound - the Ork is fervent in his search. Must keep on. Must find da fing. On all fours, oblivious to all around him, to the beer he is upsetting (or is it a bear? He wasn't looking, and can't spell anyway) the Orks snuffles around the pub until - at last - he finds da fing he was searching for.

Here, right here, a finger's-bredth from his vicious slavering maw, entusked, foul and foetid, is the thing he seeks - _the helpless form of cccp_one!_

In an instant the Ork has him in a kind of headlock.

"You're my best mate you are..."

:drunk:


----------



## wertypop

On finding a Firkin of Dam Fine Beer!(TM)Wertypop picks it up and starts to shake it!


----------



## Sei 'fir

"STeal my stool will ya!" cries Sei'fir launching himself at the orc but misjudges the jump and smashes through the light shade and bounces of the orcs broad shoulders


----------



## Anphicar

Anphicar leans on the wall and then slides to the floor abjectly.

Moaning, _"Please no..Not again. No, please no, not again..."_ he begins to slowly rock back and forth.

_They must stop!_


----------



## wertypop

Making sure that the barrel has had a good shake Wertypop moves up the cellar ladder with the barrel and fligs open the hatch that is in the floor behind the bar!
That lands on the Bobuless head making him drop the boot that he was busy chewing!
Wertypop retrives his boot and the picks up the shaken barrel lays it in the bar and aim it towards the Red Ork!
Using his boot as a hitting device he knocks the wedge out the barrel!

THWACK! WOOOOOSH!

The beer fueled missile takes off and heads toward the pool table!


----------



## Red Orc

The ork, becoming vaguely aware of the commotion around him, slowly stands, swaying gently. Realising he is still clutching the unconscious form of cccp_one, he drops him with a wet thump.

Casting round for something tp bash, or eat, or both, he spies the sprawled form of Sei'fir, whose face is contorted with rage over the loss of his stool.

Realising, if only dimly, that he has committed a faux pas, the ork begins rooting * (out of chracter for a mo) {one for all the Australians out there}* in his voluminous pockets, pouches and packs, eventually finding an object like a small flask. Carefully gathering together the broken pieces of furniture, he begins to build them into shape, using a roll of sticky fibre from the flask to hold the pieces in place. Soon, the stool is almost complete.

Studying the flask, Sei'fir makes out the words, printed on the side "Made from 100% genuine Borm, by Eric of Melon Baloney".

Noticing Sei'fir's intrest in his work, as he puts the last piece in place and hands over the perfectly-repared stool, the Ork murmers "I'm a Borm-Stringer. A Sealer of Stools"

:cyclops:


----------



## Viscount Vash

The Viscount who is currently distracted by a especially vivid flashback hears a strange noise behind him......................with an almighty crash the beer fueled missile hits him in the back of the head shattering and sending slates of wood in every direction. With the two metal rings that that held the wooden barrel together around his neck Vash slumps slowly to the ground his dream like trance now a coma like state. 

He sprawls in what remains of the 72 pints from the firkin gargling and blowing bubbles into the puddle of beer smacking his lips and absorbing most of it....................................


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop returns to the bar and picks up one of the many drinks from the bar.
Suddnley having a drunken guilt trip about the cellar door that hit Bobuless,he reaches over to Firewolf and removes thfinger that had been plugged up the earlier.
POP! and throws the tasty titbit to Bobuless!Just before it hits the ground the public phone on the bar rings.

RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING!

Wertypop looks round but nobody seem to notice it ringing.

RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING!
RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING! RING!RING!

With one last look around Wertypop picks up the phone!

Yes....not sure?...I will ask?

Wertypop looks round the bar and shouts in a loud drunken voice!

IZZ THEEERE ANYYYONE HERE CALLLLLLED "CADIAN AKEY FIST?"


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir thanx the ork and sits on the stool oblivous from concussion "I knew a cadian one time nice guy tried to kill me with a flash light though" Sei places his feat of ccp-ones slunken corpse...err body


----------



## wertypop

Still holding the phone Wertypop looks around to see if and body has heard him.


----------



## Slade

Too lazy too use the door, Slade deep-strikes into the Mangled Moose and orders a 'Slippery Nipple'. "Any one got a problem with my choice of drink?" Slade asks the room in a menacing tone...


----------



## wertypop

Getting bored of holding the phone Wertypop puts down on the bar and looks the around the bar and notices an newcomer who says-

"Any one got a problem with my choice of drink?" 
Wertypop considers an answer for thi sand says-

"Yes there is its not as good as the drink ive got!"


----------



## Viscount Vash

The devote of the Prince of Pleasure is disturbed in his near coma like state, a voice echos in the depths of his mind..............................."Slippery Nipple"

A grin spreads across the Viscounts face as he murmers the phrase ' Mmmmm Slippery Nipple.!'


----------



## Slade

Slade waits as the bartender lights his drink then slowly raises it in his armoured hand. Holding it in front of him, Slade looks deep into the flickering flame dancing above the Baileys & Creme de Menthe. With a sharp, quick breathe Slade extinguishes the flame and with a jerk of his head downs the shot.

As he lowers the empty glass to the stained wooden bar, he looks over his shoulder to the impertinent owner of the voice that just questioned him.

"Not as good a drink as mine? Put you're milk and cookies down juve - momma's calling you home"


----------



## wertypop

"No in fact that was someone else on the phone!"


----------



## Slade

"Good" Slade says to the stormtrooper, "I hate to think that members of the Ordo Hereticus couldn't handle their drink - but maybe that's a requirement these days"

Turning back to the bar Slade raises his hand to catch the barman's attention, "A packet of Nobby's nuts please"

Taking the proffered bag of nuts from the landlord, Slade pops them open and throws a handful of them into his mouth as he leans back against the bar. Looking around the room, Slade notices an orc across from him. Taking a roasted nut between his forefinger and thumb, Slade flicks the nut along a trajectory that hits the orc square between the eyes.

"Haw haw haw" Slade laughs, as the orc crosses his eyes to look at the point of impact


----------



## wertypop

Knowing it could take the orc a full day to work out were the nuts came from,Wertypop throws the boot be had retrived from Bobuless at the ork.


----------



## cccp

cccp stirs, and opens his eyes, finding sei firs boots resting on his face. 
he tries to get up, however it appears he is paralysed from the waist down.


----------



## Jacobite

Noticing the newcomer Jacobite kindly offers him another slippery nipple (or what appears to be one anyway)...


----------



## wertypop

wertypop walks over to Red orc


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

From his dark, unnoticed corner, Pyromanic Tendencies regains concesioness gets unsteadily to his feet.
Covered all over with Ork-Vomit burns and shards of glass, Pyro stumbles across the floor, until he trips over the fallen cccp_one and smashes headlong into Sei 'Fir, who was resting his tired foot on cccp's face.


----------



## Initiate

At that exact moment, Initiate slams through the double doors, he was underage but no one would say that to a frost angel's Chapter master. He promptly fashioned a gun with a broken wine bottle, corks, and a rubber band and after positioning himself in the most strategic point, he fires away, laughing as the corks bounce off the bartender's head causing a hell of an annoyance to the bartender who ineffectively chucks the ammo back up at him.


----------



## wertypop

Being distracted by the flight of corks heading towards the bartender,Wertypop abandons hes Red Orc dierction and looks around aimlessly :?


----------



## Jacobite

Jacobite, begining to dislike the cramping in his legs, decides to do something about the alck of activity. 

Leaving his postion by the bar he walks over to the door,reachs outside and yanks Elchimpster back inside,pulling him by the ear into the centre of the room, on the way he grabs Vash by the tenticle and brings him along as well. When Jacobite reachs the centre of the room he prompletely slams Elchimpsters and Vash's heads together to try and wake them up. As they slump to the ground moaning and mouthing obscenties about Jacobite's sister's bedroom habits Jacobite sends Bobuleus on a mission to where cccp_one is lying uncouncious. Rather than biting the poor boy the mutant squighound instead breaths on him causing cccp_one to wake up and quickly throw up the contents of his stomach. Bobuleus then bites Pyro and follows this by drooling on Sei 'Fir's shoes, just daring them to do something about it. 

Next seeing the rudeness that a certain Chapter-Master had directed towards Jacobite's favourite bartender Jacobite walks over to Initiate and says:

"Nice fancy armour, that Termintor or Artificer? cause its far to fancy to be normal power. Stops power fists does it?"

"Sure does" replies the proud Space Marine

""Thats nice, power fists are one thing, but I can garunette you that it won't stop a frying pan!" and so saying Jacobite pans Initiate across the face. Initiate slumps down, shocked by the attack he wasn't expecting.

"Nobody picks on the Bartender understand!".

Moving to the celler door Jacobite shouts down to wertypop

"Hey Guardsmen - the Orc said your regiment couldn't track a Titan in a Pine Forest! - you going to take that from a greenskin boy!"

Finally standing on a table Jacobite proclaims to the room in a Spoon (from Dog Soldiers) like fashion 

"Come On If You Think Your Hard Enough!!!!"


----------



## Viscount Vash

Shaking his head, Vash looks about him as his tenticle retracts back into his body.
Using the fellow follower of the dark powers to drag himself from the floor and starts to walk away.
Reversing course quickly he drags the stunned Elchimpster to his feet and supports him as they weave their way to a seating booth.

Plonking his companion down on the seat The Viscount seats himself opposite.
With an arcane (and slightly suggestive) gesture from the Slaaneshsi two drinks appear on the table, One Vash's favorite the other a Barcardi whatnot that the Chaos Magos. (You know what people like when your game is temptation.)

Supping his ale the Viscount waits for the Magos to come round, pondering the fact that there were far too many loyalists in this bar and it was probably a good idea to stay reasonable friendly with the only other traitor in the place.

Vash turn and watches the loony on the far table waving a spoon and waits to see which of the patrons will be the first to knock him off.......................................


----------



## Slade

Noticing the increased activity in the bar, Slade tips the remainder of his roasted peanuts onto his gauntleted hand. Steadying himself, Slade starts to rapid fire the peanuts at several targets: shooting across the room at speed several nuts spray up the torso of cccp_one, with several ricochets bouncing off in random directions; another hits the glass of ale as Vash is about to take a sip, shattering the glass in his hand and dripping the sticky golden liquid down the Slaaneshi's garish attire; several others hit Jac on the back of his head causing him to stagger forward under the force of the impact, and duck down for cover.

Noting wertypop standing there withpout a clue, Slade lets off a salvo of brown-skinned legumes as he dives in an arc to the floor. "Cop that Stormie!!!" he screams.


----------



## Jacobite

Ducking under one of the tables to avoid the flying bar snacks Jac grins to himself and yells out

"This is more like it!"


----------



## Slade

As Slade lands from his arcing dive, he tucks his legs beneath him and rolls forward. Ending the roll with a flourish (and an incorporeal drum roll) he stands, looking for more targets.

"Hey, Slaaneshi! I hear the Young Prince is really a Puritan" he goads the multi-coloured hedonist sat in a seating booth, currently wiping ale off himself.

Hearing a shout coming from beneath a table quite close to him Slade continues "You don't get cover saves down there Fool". He grabs a bottle of absinthe from the bar, takes a large gulp. Taking a lighter from his belt, Slade flicks the lighter open, lights it and expels the absinthe in a large plume of golden flame. Beneath the table Jac starts to notice the increase in temperature, causing the Young Fool to jump up, up-ending the table.

"Woo-Hoo" Slade exhaults.


----------



## Jacobite

Feeling the otherside of the table heat up Jacobite jumps up and over the table. Noticing the looks of surprising on Slates face at the fact the =I= isn't running away but instead charging towards him, Jacobite whistles to Bobuleus and sends a thought to the hound.

Charging up behind Slade Bobuleus prompletly knocks him flat to the ground and begins to attack his boot. At the same time as Slade trys to fight off the squig hound Jacobite lines him up golf style and smacks him round the head with the pan. 

"You got a bit of a foot fetish there don't you boy" says Jacobite after hauling Bobuleus of Slade. 

Its only then that Jacobite notices that his rather costly clock is on fire. Swearing, he runs towards the bar to try and put it out but unfortuantly trips over Bobuleus and lands next to the still green cccp_one. He then also notices that he has landed in a rather large puddle of alchol which only makes the flames worse. 

Screaming this time Jacobite runs out the doors and into the rain to try and stop the flames. After several minutes of yelling he returns looking scourched and pissed off. Somebodies in real trouble.


----------



## wertypop

Oh being told of the comment that the Orc had made he realises that there is now way a orc would of had the brain power to think up such a complex statment!
He realises that it must of been the Orcs regiment that could not find "DA TITAN IN DA PLACE OF TREEZ".
with that thought Wertypop has a chuckle and heads off to the heads.


----------



## Red Orc

Still puzzles by the peanut impact, the ork looks round to see a black object flying towards him.

At a speed that astounds the onlookers, the ork grabs it from the air in front of him. It is some kind of footwear, seemingly made of an animal skin. He sniffs it, and a grin spreads over his face. Salivating from his enormous, tusked maw, the ork crams the boot into his mouth, chews for several seconds then swallows. Turning towards the direction came, he burps loud and long. A cloud of foetid gas escapes and floods the room. Unfortunately, this comes into contact with a sudden and surprising bout of flame from one of the other characters, some kinfd of shouty 'oomie. The resulting explosion rocks all those in the bar on their feet, or in cccp_one's case, his back, while also blowing out all the other fires. Only Jacobite escapes the effect, busy as he is outside, burning to death. Oh if only he had known, he would perhaps have stayed inside.

Then the ork checks who's missing a boot. Whoever it is will be in for trouble. The Mystery of the Invisible Peanut Thrower would have to wait until later...

:cyclops:


----------



## wertypop

On entering the "Heads" Wertypop put his un-booted foot in a puddle!
Swearing and standing on one leg to trying and shake the heaven only knows what off his foot.
Whilst in this position there is a sudden blast from the bar area that knocks Wertypop headlong towards one of the cubicals


----------



## Red Orc

The ork, his ears still ringing from the explosion, comes to slowly to his senses. He stands, ruminating on the nature of time - sometimes, days go by so fast you hardly notice, sometimes things seem to happen so increadibly slowly - but comes alert as he hears a crash from the toilets. Perhaps the one-booted assailant is in there? But then, the shouty explody 'oomie only seems to have one boot. Maybe it was him?

Only one way to find out... suddenly, the ork flings himself into action.

Unfortunately, he slips on one of the many slicks of drink, or perhaps vomit, festooning the floor, and describes a none-too-graceful swallow dive, smacking the floor face-first, hard enough to rattle the bones of the startled onlookers. Luckily for the ork, or he might have damaged something.

:cyclops:


----------



## Viscount Vash

Vash ignores the taunts knowing full well that they are just the gas emitted from an unknowing fool.

He shifts in his seat remembering his patron gods last visit...just in time to see the Ork take another close look at the floor....

'There must be some thing that im missing out on here he keeps doing that' the Viscount thinks.. dropping to the floor and sniffing around as he moves towards the prone ork.........................................................................


----------



## Jacobite

Jacobite makes a move to smash Vash over the head with his pan but also slips on the floor and joins them face down in the vomit.

Charming.


----------



## cccp

cccp gets up shakily...then falls over again...


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir sticks his boot in the squig hounds face ...oops


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

With the squig now fully occupied with Sei 'fir's boot, Pyro uses his mind to pick up the shards of broken vodka glass from an earlier incident. With a blast of warp energy, the Magus sends them hurtling towards the squig hound/ Sei's lower leg.


----------



## Initiate

Initiate, now punch drunk, stands on top of a table and does an irish tapdance, sending shrapnel flying everywhere. Then the table buckled and initiate fell on pyro, badly injuring his little toe.


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Pyro crawls out from the fallen Initiate with a groan, just in time for a piece of sharpnel to whack him in the eye, rebound off and skrike Slade squarely in the face.


----------



## Slade

Smacked in the face by the erratic shrapnel, Slade staggers backwards, arms twirling as he tries to gain balance. As he staggers back, he steps in the pool of vomit currently containing cccp_one and Jacobite. Losing the last of the precarious grip that his feet had, Slade slips backwards and lands squarely onto the incumbent forms bubbling in the vomit pool.

uuuurrrrgghhh!!!!


----------



## wertypop

Removing himself from the blocked toilet Wertypop standsup not noticeing the toilet seat around his neck


----------



## Initiate

with his little toe injured, Initiate radios for help and a thunderhawk parks outside the bar, and apothecary picks initiate up and, after oaths of revenge, initiate zooms away in the frost angels thunderhawk, creating a small fire in the southwest section of the roof caused by the exhaust engines.


----------



## wertypop

with the toilet seat around his neck Wertypop walk in to the bar and crawls under the pool table


----------



## The Wraithlord

Unaware of the chaos raging within Wraithlord valiantly kicks open the door for the sheer coolness of it, smashing the laid out Slade, cccp_one, and Jacobite in the head at the same time. Seeing his grand entrance having such an overly cool effect on those within he pulls the money from their pockets and buys himself a manly brew to celebrate the sheer awesomeness of himself.


----------



## Initiate

Suddenly the roof breaks and an unarmed drop pod lands in the middle of the bar, the hatches are blown and smash into Wraithlord and wertypop. When the dust settles, Initiate enters dramatically surrounded by hot swedish girls who start dancing around him. "FEEL THE POWER OF GROOOVE!!" Initiate roars, the swedish girls start dancing in front of wraithlord, who crawls back towards a pool table, cowering in fear of the groovalicious dancing girls. Initiate starts singing in his very bad,tone deaf voice.


----------



## cccp

enraged by the terrible singing going on in the bar, cccp regains feelings in his legs and shakily stands up. he stumbles over to the wraithlord and smashes his beer glass into his face. then, pulls out his stool from under him, and kicks him a few times.

'you shouldnt hit a man when hes unconsious WL!'


----------



## Jacobite

Jacobite drags himself out of the pool of vomit and pulls himself upright using a bar stool. Shaking his head to reclaim his senses he looks down to see the vomit all over the front of his clock. Pulling it off and noting its now flammable properties he lights it with a word and throws it at the badly singing Initiate. The burning rag raps it's self around his face and manages to muffle the sound of raped cats... slightly. 

Next Jacobite picks up the stool and yells "You hit my dog!" before moving towards Pyro to do something the SPCA would love to do.


----------



## The Wraithlord

The spilled beer awakens Wraithlord suddenly and he manfully springs into action, grabbing Jacobite by the shorthairs and slamming him repeatedly into cccp in heroic fashion. That done he throws a shard of glass towards Initiate like a ninja star from hell and scores a hit befitting one of such magnificent stature, causing Initiate to bleed like a stuck pig from the thigh. Misliking the general lack of respect due his mighty name, Wraithlord picks up a daemonette barmaid by the ankle and begins to lay about him in frenzied fury, screaming in truly manly fashion: "THE BEATINGS WILL STOP WHEN MORALE IMPROVES!!!!"


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Seeing Jacobite hurtling towards him with a barstool, Pyro is amazed to see him grabbed out of the way at the last second before impact, in what Pyro percieves as his first bit of (good) luck that evening. However, this thought quickly disappears when his "saviour" grabs a daemonette and begins to fail her around him, the screaming Slaaneshi's blades just missing the Genestealer Magus's face. Pyro makes an olympic standard jump out of the way, crashing into the flaming, bleeding and still singing body of Initiate.


----------



## Jacobite

Although slightly distracted by the repeated slamming into cccp_one Jacobite still laughs as he sees Pyro also go flying.

After being dropped Jacobite lies on the floor and pretends to play dead. Reaching out with his mind he sends a quick thought to Bobuleus. Giving the Radical Inquistitor a nasty look, but obeying anyway, the squighound leaps forward and under the arc of the deamonette and clamps his mutant teeth onto Wraiths groin. As Wraith screams in pain and lets go of the Deamonette Jacobite smiles... untill the Deamonette lands squarely on top of him and preceeds to begin her idea of foreplay. Namely trying to rip Jacobites head off.


----------



## Red Orc

... shoes, thought the Ork. I'm sure there was something about shoes...


----------



## Initiate

So obsessively angry at WL for throwing glass at his beloved thy, Initiate avenges his crippled thigh by taking off his power armour piece by piece and chucking them at wraith. When he got to his leg instead of throwing it he picked it up and using it as a makeshift club mauled wraithlord yelling, "TAKE THAT YOU T5 BASTARD!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" before fainting of blood loss from his untreated leg.


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir performing a viking funeral service sets fire to intiate coming back to his senses Sei 'fir mutters "that was random"


----------



## The Wraithlord

The mighty Wraithlord, under siege from the groin gobbling squighound, sees the large pieces of Initiate's armour flying through the air at him and in truly heroic form twists just so, causing the armour to smack into the head of the squighound and sending it flying before any lasting harm was done. After having come under such cowardly and effete attack, Wraithlord charges forward, buffeting Sei 'fir about the head and neck, his manly ire raised at the thought of Sei 'fir showing funeral respect to one who threw a codpiece at him. Grabbing said armour, Wraithlord uses his full and mighty strength to shove Initiate's codpiece right up Sei 'firs nose before throwing him across the room with a mighty heave, slamming him into the Ork staring dumbly around himself.


----------



## Initiate

no longer protected by his armour Initiate remembers what he learned during the "Fire Awareness" Sessions, he stops drops and rolls, effectively putting out the fire. He goes to the restroom and makes a phonecall. He comes back out later as a chief librarian dressed in the same power armour as initiate was used his psychic powers to pick up all the pieces of power armour (including the one up sei'fir's nose) while initiate jumped into the air forcing time to go in slo-mo, as the armour slapped into him in that climatic scene, then everything picked up again and went into normal speed and initiate landed all gung-ho about his little stunt, he quickly thanks his advisor and gets back into it. He quickly takes out his iPod Atom (which is the actual size of a molecule) put on his earphones and turned on some kick ass music. he danced along, he danced the dance of DEATH, hitting drunken brawlers as they charged at him with shattered bottles and barstools and whatever else they had found to be an effective weapon.


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Pyromanic Tendencies watches the bar fight /amateur musical production play out around him with some bemusement, muttering something about how it wasn't even this strange at that Bistro Tzeentch owns...


----------



## Larkins back

After boldly striding into the bar for no reason Larkins back smashes a bottle of Bragg era sacra on Pyromaniac Tendincies head. Then runs for his Baneblade keys in hand before remembering he parked it in a swamp on another planet. Disapointed he then returns to try and make amends with Pyromanic tendincies


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Misinterprating Larkin's advance, Pyro jumps at the tank commander, swingging a bar chair and screaming "Yarrrraghragha!!!!"


----------



## Initiate

getting bored now that he finds nothing else to do, Initiate sits in a corner, grim lines of concentration marring his otherwise perfect face as he tried to kill himself mentally just for the hell of it.


----------



## Viscount Vash

Ever attuned to his senses The Viscount looks slightly puzzled.......

Somebody had managed to change the decor of the _moose_ whilst he was not looking. Shrugging,Vash gives up trying to work it out, blames it on the drugs and goes to the bar for another beer.


----------



## The Wraithlord

Realizing that he has not yet gotten to partake of the excellent beer the Moose provides, Wraithlord joins the Viscount at the bar to drink vast quantities of the golden elixer in a manner befitting true heroes of the land.


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop crawls from under the pool table towards the bar


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir boldly elbow drops the pool table causing it to cave in on wertypop "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"


----------



## wertypop

not noticing that he is trapped by the pool table wertypop wonders why he is not making progress to the bar!


----------



## Larkins back

After being smashed into a table buy pyromanic tendencies chair Larkin runs across the pub before tripping on wertypops exposed head. After sailing through the air Larkin lands on the bar spilling everybodys beers. Larkin then prays for his safety.


----------



## wertypop

having his attention kicked into the real world wertypop notices he is trapped by the pool table!


----------



## Viscount Vash

Picking the offending tank commander out of the beer pool caused by the impact Vash examines the sodden creature. ' Too small !' and so declaring throws him back from wence he came.

The Viscount orders two _Old Keeper Surreal ales_ and slides one too Wraithlord with a nod...................................


----------



## wertypop

being fed up with not moving wertypop put his hand up into the pool table and has a feel around for a ball.


----------



## The Wraithlord

With murderous intentions writ across his chiseled features the Wraithlord starts to move in the direction of Larkin when he notices the ale sliding his way from the Viscount. In a truly magnanimous gesture from such and towering and imposing being, Wraithlord settles with a minor kick at Larkin, sending him flying to land ass first on Wertypops head. This done, Wraithlord pulls his chair back into place, clinks glasses with the Viscount and quaffs it in one mighty pull. Another round is ordered and remembering how the first one went, Wraithlord glares balefully around the room, daring any within to test themselves against his manly prowess......


----------



## wertypop

On finding a ball wertypop is about to remove it from the table but is squwished by a Larkins landing!


----------



## Larkin

After thanking the Gods for his survival Larkin decides to buy suit of power armour from the vending machine. After deliberatly standing on wertypops head Larkin inserts a pound into the vending machine and fits his bulky new armour over his uniform. Larkin then takes a seat a starts to plot revenge.


----------



## wertypop

wertypop decideds he needs somthing for his head ache!


----------



## Initiate

declaring that he in fact cannot kill himself mentally, Initiate quickly writes an article about on Wikipedia and then gets back into it, ordering a dozen bangaladeshdi ciders (each one equivilent to a pound of crack). He downs the first two before his falling head smashes the rest.


----------



## wertypop

Finaly getting free from the flattened pool table wertypop find sthe ball he was searching for and starts to look round the room for a victim!


----------



## Larkin

Larkin laughs at the unconcious form of one of the more violent looking figures. Then ather peering round the bar Larkin notices an angry wertypop with a pool ball. Larkin then decides i might be time to cower. So in a vermin like fashion he then creates a small 6 table fort with a four hour supply of beer inside.


----------



## Viscount Vash

Vash starts constructing a bar stool seige engine............................................................................................................

Soon with the cunning use of the remains of a few bar stools, assorted knicker elastic and a studded thong he has a workable device.

A steady barrage of lemons pelts the fort of the tank commander. The Viscount knows that the chances of bringing the structure down are slim but the chances of lemon juice in the eye are high.


----------



## Larkin

Larkin decides its time for all out war. After recovering from lemon in the eye. Larkin brings the forts formidable melon launcher to bear. after firing a volly of the fruit Larkin notices he has still yet to hit a target. Deciding to take a more agressive aproach after carefully loading some forks in to the poorly made catapult he opened fire and was pleased to see the hail of forks heading strait for Vashs face


----------



## wertypop

Seeing abit of action going on at the bar Wertypop decides to launch his first salvo of pool balls at the trebuchet operator!


----------



## Viscount Vash

Gracefully evading the storm of forks the Viscount suceeds only in recieving a volley of pool balls to the side of the head.
Stunned by this he staggers, slips on a squashed melon and falls on to his primed trebuchet firing arm.
There is not enough time for the deviant to enjoy the sensation of a lemon wedged in the unmetionables before the seige engine fires Vash in a high arc accross the bar room with a mighty twang of knicker elastic............................................................


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Noticing how violent the bar is about to become, Pyro grabs a bottle of Bio-Plasma and runs towards the door, only to be knocked to the ground by the flying Slaaneshi lord, slid over the floor, crash into the wall, take a large swig of Bio-Plasma and collapse in a corner.


----------



## Initiate

Initiate sees the bartender is holding up a laspistol to light up his cigar. "Gimme that!" Initiate takes some more bangalashdi ciders, sticks a kerchief in one and lights it on fire, he starts chucking the molotovs around the bar. Watching with satisfaction as slaaneshi creatures and orky green figures burn and run around yelling in pain. Then he turned his attention to the little man in the corner with bio plasma in his hands. He walks up to him and opens his mouth and pours in 8 bottles of the dangerous cider. He watches as pyro over doses and starts running around the room trying to fly and yelling " IM A DRAGON! LOOK AT ME!! I CAN FLYY!! IM A DRAGON!"

Initiate roflmaos.


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

"IM A DRAGON LOOK AT ME!! I CAN FLYY!! IM A DRAGON!" proclaims Pyromanic Tendencies, leaping off an upturned table onto the crowds below.


----------



## Viscount Vash

"mmmmm Pain" says the Viscount as he runs around in glee enjoying the sublime sensation and pretty light show.


----------



## wertypop

Knowing he is down to his last ball wertypop puts it in his pocket and removes his unchewed boot.


----------



## Larkin

Larikin marvels at the fact that his fort is still intact. He hoists a flag saying no slanneshi chicks. Larikn returns to his supply of beer. Deciding that beer is boring with out entertainment he starts lobing knives at the insane madman pyromanic tendencies.


----------



## wertypop

Removing his sock Wertypop places the the pool ball in to the sock,Giving the new Tool a quick test against an nearby glass with a satisfying smash!
Wertypop is now tooled up and ready to go over the top!


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Marvelling at the shining streaks of happiness hurtling at his face, Pyro runs to there source, spitting outgouts of pyroacid and shouting "IMA DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGON!!!!!1!1!"


----------



## cccp

at last, cccp stands up, stumbles over to pyro, and punches hm hard in the face!

you arent a dragon! now, care for a beer?


----------



## wertypop

As wertypop gose over the top of the remains of the pool table, he is distracted by the cccp moving towards Pyro! Swinging his Sock and Ball weapon wertypop runs towards CCCP and smashes him on the head!


----------



## cccp

now sober, cccp takes the hit hard and falls to the floor. he falls right into the path of the runnign wertypop however, who falls onto a table of stacked glasses, which smash.


----------



## wertypop

Spitting out bits of glass and removing the odd bit or two from his body wertypop remembers that he has still got the toilet seat around his neck!


----------



## Larkin

Larkin was pissed. He tore some nails from the floor and placed them in a bottle of high strength exploding vodka stole pyromanic tendencies lighter and lit the rag placed at the neck of the bottle. He placed the crude nail bomb in the hands of pyromanic tendencies who was still very drunk. Larkin smiled and said drink up then dived into his slightly disolved fort. He knew that there was no time for the drunk fool to toss away the bomb now.


----------



## wertypop

Whilst brushing himself down wertypop notices the nice new Vodka bomb Pyro is now holding, Knowing it will be wasted on the drunken dragon he leaps towards Pyro and grabs it out of his hand and throws it over the Table fort that Larkin is lurkin behind.


----------



## Initiate

needing to piss after his several drinks, Initiate unzips his power armour pants and starts pissing all over everyone, laughing as they throw up as the space marine superpiss goes into their mouths or when it gets into their eyes.


----------



## wertypop

Being pretty pissed off about being pissed on Wertypop launches the toilet seat like a vast frisbie at Initiates head


----------



## Larkin

Larkin hears the thud and instinctively knows what has happened. In a remarcable feat of agilily he dives out of his fort and lands in the middle of the bar. The bomb explodes with more force than intended. The blast leaves a small crater in the floor and everybody in the bar i showered by nails. Larkin feel several nails penetrate his back but takes satisfaction in the fact that wertypop was clouted by a passing table. While the room was still confused by the explosion Larkin dives in to the crater and pulls a tabletop over the hole. Satisfied that no one would find him he looks down to see a white rat.


----------



## wertypop

after letting lose the toilet seat wertypop is knocked to the ground by a flying table


----------



## Larkin

Larkiin decides to call his new friend jimmy


----------



## Initiate

Initiate is hit in the head and falls, still pissing as it goes down his mouth and he pisses it out again. 

He becomes a living fountain.


----------



## wertypop

after landing yet again on the broken bottles and glasses wertypop pick him self up and heads for the bar.


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Pyro gets back to his feet, dizzy and faint from the "dragon" incident. A thought suddenly drifts through his mind, compelling him to move in a dream-like state across the bar. He garbs his lighter back from Larkin, wades through the pipe bomb wreckage, over several groaning bodies, dodging the super piss and bottles aimed at him, and sits down beside cccp_one.

"So, about that beer..."


----------



## Larkin

Larkin emerges from his refuge with his new friend jimmy on his shoulder. Larkin and his rat friend start to get wasted.


----------



## Viscount Vash

After enjoying the pain of flame for far too long The Viscount wobbles to the bar leaving a trail of posk scratchings behind him.

Ordering a bottle of something nasty and pink Vash turns and notices that the bareooted Guardsman is actually his long lost brother....................................


----------



## wertypop

After ordering a drink and taking a swig Wertypop notices someone at the bar staring at him?


----------



## Viscount Vash

As he stares at the guardsman Vash's chin juts further forwards at he contemplates if this is or is not his brother he gazes upon...........................


----------



## wertypop

On staring back wertypop notices something? could it be the jutty chin or the Monobrow?............


----------



## The Wraithlord

After enjoying the light show and effete shouting of the lesser men around him, the Wraithlord begins to notice that his bar is becoming crowded, leaving him no room to place his bulging thews upon nor even room to manfully chug his stein of ale. Taking exception to this, the Wraithlord hurls his mug away and in a burst of mighty strength rips the entire top of the bar right off, turning it into a gigantic club that only one of such valour and fortitude as he could even lift, let alone swing. With a bloodcurdling battlecry, he swings the bar with all the force in his heroic frame and sends all at the bar flying across the room to slam into the far wall or through the front windows. Not even the pissing fountain is spared his valorous ire and he slams the end of the bar down repeatedly, depriving Initiate of his manhood for ever more. That done, the Wraithlord turns back towards the effete creatures who dared to press next to his mighty form and begins to play Home Run Henry with them, making large dents and holes in the walls, ceiling, and floor as he sends his opponents flying with manly swings of his makeshift weapon.


----------



## wertypop

OUCH!that hurt!


----------



## Viscount Vash

"mmmm that hurt" murmered the devotee of Slannesh as he slid down the back wall of the bar..................


----------



## Larkin

After being sent flying into a wall Larkin fixes his eyes on the wraithlord and says to his small pet rat MAUL HIM. The small terror scuttles of to do his bidding.


----------



## Initiate

Initiate is sent screaming into the wall while still pissing. He calls his agent and Guiness World Records and gets a contract to put him in for longest pissing streak.


----------



## wertypop

Getting up and dusting off bits of bar wetrypop walk to the bar tender to get a drink!(again)


----------



## Larkin

Larkin decides to keep the trend and tosses a chair at wertypop.


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop side steps the flying chair that then hits the pissing Initiate


----------



## Viscount Vash

Coming round from his bar induced stupor the Viscount rises from his slumped posistion casting his eyes about him to see what has happened since.

As he passes Initiate Vash removes his left nipple clamp and places it upon the unconsious form, cutting of the seemingly never ending stream of whizz and muttering about the taint of Nurgle he continues to the bar and orders a bottle of Absinthe.

Retiring to a seating booth he sits down and proceeds to get royally smashed as he contemplates his next move....................


----------



## Sei 'fir

after performing minor surgery to remove both bar and nails from his face Sei'fir begins replacing half his face with the remaining felt of the pool table tryng to return his face to its former glory..." thank god for those plastic sugery evening classes"


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Pyor continous to poke the form of cccp_one, who hasn't moved for several hours.

"About that beer. About that beer. About that beer. About that beer. About..."


----------



## wertypop

on getting to the bar wertypop orders a beer


----------



## Larkin

Larkin screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO after seeing wertypop reach the bar. Larkin rhen drop kicks him in the face and beats him brutality screaming you were never suposed to make it you never did it before.


----------



## wertypop

wertypop lays on the floor not moving.


----------



## Initiate

initiate walks up to the supposedly (and most probably) dead Wertypop and casual pisses on him, watching the metal rust.


----------



## wertypop

not getting a beer was bad,but getting this piss warm beer is even worse!


----------



## The Wraithlord

The Wraithlord finds the floor befouled with the excretions of Initiate and snarls in manly disgust, vowing to Tzeentch that the infidel will pay for his effete manner. Swinging the bartop in a mighty and heroic manner, Wraithlord beats the piss out of Initiate, forever cutting off the flow of urine in a manner befitting such a mighty champion of the Architect of Fate.


----------



## Larkin

Larkin laughs at pyros attempts to get a free beer.


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei'fir waits 2-3 weeks for the swelling to go down ...then realizes how much blood he'd lost "i'm thirsty"


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop wakes up from his floor slumber and decides to approach the bar from a different angle!


----------



## asianavatar

The doors open and Asianavatar enters the bar, he stops and looks around at the carnage, while a strange deep musical tone plays


----------



## Larkin

Larkin keeps a close eye on wertypop daring him to try and reach the bar.


----------



## Sei 'fir

Sei 'fir takes out hip flask nothing comes out Sei 'fir looks at bar and then to Larkin.
"God i hope he doesn't notice me"
Sei 'fir bursts out in a sprint towards the bar


----------



## The Wraithlord

The Wraithlord, manfully swinging the bar top, smacks Sei'fir in the back of the head without noticing, sending the sprinting fool flying into Wertypop with a sickening thud.


----------



## Larkin

Larkin prys a brick out of the wall and puts it in a sack. After smashing a table with it he prepared for the next time wertypop and sie fir charged the bar.


----------



## Viscount Vash

The Viscount rises from his seat and proceeds to the bar, bypassing the mayhem by diving through the bar hatch and crashing into the glass fronted fridge.

Nodding to the troll like barkeep Vash reaches into the smashed fridge, grabs a beer and pops the top with his thumb. After a good long pull he looks around the shelves for something to make his day more exciting............

............after a while he finds the controls for the _Moose's_ disco lighting, flicking on all the switches and turning on all manner of flashy lights and wiggly mirrors not to mention a massive smoke machine.

The Pub fills quickly with a rolling fog that pulsates in many hues as the varied lighting systems strike its growing form.

'Hmm, its a start I spose' 
mutters the pleasure seeker as he looks for just that little bit extra to stimulate his depraved senses............................................................


----------



## Sei 'fir

"Ha you missed i'm still alive" jeers Sei 'fir not noticing his lack of a rear section of skull


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Looking up briefly from his prodding of cccp_one in regards to that free beer he was promised several pages back, Pyro sees that the bar is filling with silly lights and smoke. 

Though his acute Tyranid senses are slightly dazzled by the display, the Genestealer Magus notices that the chap beside him is missing the back of his skull. Pyromanic Tendencies grins as he extends a rending claw in the directions of something that promises to be even more fun to poke...


----------



## cccp

cccp realises he is being prodded. he continues to lay on the floor, blissfully unaware of anything he may or may have not done in the previous pages. however, he has not taken a few pages to sober up, clear the killer hangover, and punch werty in the face, he sits up onto a red bar sofa, sits some water, and watches the mayhem continue.


----------



## Sei 'fir

A bolt of lightning jumps from Sei 'firs head and runs up Pyro's finger, "ouch i felt some static there" still not noticing his cranial cavity


----------



## Pyromanic Tendencies

Trying a new method of brain-prodding, Pyro picks up a splintered piece of barstool leg and grins manically as he attempts a second poke...


----------



## Larkin

Larkin continues his silent gaurd


----------



## The Wraithlord

Finally spending his manly rage at the effete beings surrounding him, The Wraithlord replaces the top of the bar with the barest effort of his mighty thews. That done, he quaffs a fresh ale in a manner befitting one of his awe inspiring prowess and draws a few more which he then passes out to the remaining, ambulatory, patrons of the bar. However, in his fearsome wisdom he knows that this lull will not last and he will once again have call to thrash those around him within an inch of their unsavory lives.....


----------



## wertypop

Wertypop notices he is on the floor again!


----------



## wertypop

After noticeing that the floor was real and that it had not made him stand up,Wertypop looked towards the bar!No going that way was asking for it,maybe if sort of crawled rolled toward the door he would be OK!


----------



## Pandawithissues...

Missing his ruined habitat back in china, the biggest, uglyiest giant panda anyone has ever seen enters the bar. B movie western music playing in his head, a half chewed bamboo shoot casually hanging from the corner of his mouth.
He strolls towards the bar, casually swatting wertypop towards his nemesis larkin with a giant paw.
With a swagger, the panda pulls up a pair of bar stools to support his massive weight, ordering a bucket of Tsingtao beer from the bartender...


----------



## wertypop

well at laest wertypop had made some sort of headway but just not the right way


----------



## wertypop

On seeing that over two months had passed wertypop walked towards the door


----------



## The Wraithlord

Upon seeing a lone straggler heading for the door, The Wraithlord leaps to his feet, manfully yelling that none are allowed to leave before giving a drink donation to him in order to quench is heroic thirst. Backing this up with action, he lifts Werty with one mighty hand and slams him back down on the barstool, all the while glaring at him in the meaningful and soul ripping manner only achievable by one of such intimidating stature.


----------



## Lord Sinkoran

Lord Sinkoran stumbles across a bar, on enters he looks around sees a mass of violence screams and runs aways


----------



## cccp

cccp sees sinkoran running like a girl, and throws a bar stool at him.


----------



## Lord Sinkoran

thae bar stool hits Sinkoran in the back of the head knocking him to his knees. he shakes his head and gets up slowly. Sinkoran turns around and starts walking back to the bar unsheathing his power sword ready for revenge.


----------



## wertypop

On getting the hint!
Wertypop gets a round in at the bar!


----------



## Pandawithissues...

Panda slaps the powersword out of Sinkorans hand, then puts his head through the floorboards for breaking the rules.

The panda then buys him a beer for bothering to join the game.


----------



## earcar

Earcar then sees a talking panda. He obviously needed a drink. He orders a nice, strong whisky, takes a swig, then smashes it over Pandawithissues head, then he takes a scotch, and dumps it all over the cut so the f***ing talking panda has whisky and scotch in his horrible cuts, then takes the crown off of Lord Sinkoran's head, and impales him with it.


----------



## Sei 'fir

Adreanline wearong off Sei realzes the back off his head is missing 
"This could be a problem..."


----------



## Lord Sinkoran

sinkoran heads for the jukebox whilst tring to keep his vital life fluid in him.


----------



## earcar

Earcar then smashes Lord Sinkoran's head into the jukebox, making a bloody mess where Lord Sinkoran's head used to be.


----------



## wertypop

Seeing that nobody has taken his offer of drinks!Wertypop gets himself one!


----------



## The Wraithlord

The Wraithlord manfully thanks Werty for the round and quaffs it in a manner befitting one of such might and presence. Then, with a mischievous gleam in his eye he nods at Werty before suddenly leaping to his feet, grabbing the startled and screaming Werty, and throwing him across the room with a heave of his mighty thews. The living missile slams into Sei before ricocheting into Earcar, driving both onto the broken glass protruding from the wrecked jukebox. Rising to new heights of heroic destruction, The Wraithlord then grabs a table in each hand and starts to lay about him, driving all from his manly form.


----------



## Shas'o Tash'var

Shas'O Tash'Var quietly entered the bar, and got his second unpleasant surprise of the day. 
First he found out he had to leave his battlesuit outside of the bar, and now the bar he thought would be a great place to spread the words of the greater good was actually a place full of violence. 
It didnt took him a very long time to figure out he physically the weakest too... 
Silently he went to the bar and ordered one soda , as his body cant digest alcohol very well, and then goes to a shadowy corner of the bar to observate the bar a bit


----------



## wertypop

wertypop dinks!


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel stumbled in, already drunk after coming from the third bar he had been kicked out of, with his new polished Mk VII power armor and a woman (obviously one of the many prostitutes that surrounded the bar) in his arm.

"Where can I find a seat for me and the lady?" he desperatly tried to ask through his slurred voice. 

"Lady? I'm not your lady you filthy slob! How dare you say that!" the woman said before giving Master Kashnizel a slap in the face.

"Oh well than you still wanna drink?" he said as he leaned against the counter.

"Ugh, men!" she yelled as she trudged out of the bar.

Master Kashnizel sat down just as his digestive systems kicked in and began to render him sober. He looked over at the pink haired man sitting a few seats behind him and thought to himself, Didn't Fulgrim turn to chaos and leave with his pansy arsed legion?


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 demonstrates his Pathfinder skills by stepping out from behind the pot-plant no one even realised was in the bar, lowers his hood and slinks over to the empty stool next to Kashnizel.

"Lady troubles aye?" whispers Pariah. "Know all about that, there was this Banshee I dated once ... boy, was she a headache! Here, let me get you a drink."

With that, Pariah Mk.231 vanishes from sight, and within seconds a glass of Tequila Sunrise is sitting on the bar infront of the esteemed Master Kashnizel.
Looking around, Kashnizel wonders where the creepy little Eldar has gotten to ... and why there's now a coat rack where his neighboring stool had once stood.


----------



## Master Andael

Master Andael steps in the Moose and looks around. He sees a giant Panda on a pile of barstools, a huge fellow wacking people with tables, an marine who was very suprised seeing a drink in front of him and a small and shy Tau in the corner of the pub. Andael thought "Where in the name of the Emperor am I?". The last thing he rembered was that he was having fun with a Sister of battle......


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Thanks for the drink." Master Kashnizel says to the Eldar just before he vanishes.

Kashnizel thinks to himself that he hasn't had a good fight in over an hour and proceeds by lifting Andael over his head and whispering: "Sorry mate", before shucking him into the scrawny little Tau in the corner. 

"Hey you wanna tag team that stupid vespid lovin' Tau over there?" Kashnizel screams to the Wraithlord who is busy beating a bar tender over the head with a table.

Seconds pass and Master Kashnizel wakes from his day dream with the round of Tequila still in front of him and a large panda starring at him.

"What are you lookin' at?" Kashnizel asks the panda before chugging his drink.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Gazing down from his perch in the rafters, Pariah Mk.231 takes pride in the knowledge that the fools below have bought his coat-rack ruse and that he can now plan his next act of superior stealth ... but what should he do?

He could drop down onto The Wraithlord's shoulders un-noticed and sit there for awhile enjoying a drink. Or he could sneak around the bar and switch everyone's drinks with lemon juice without being seen.
If he really wanted to, he could even "Pants" the Tau sitting in the corner.

"This merits some serious consideration" he said to himself, then took a sip of the Vodka Cruiser he swiped while he was down on the ground.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Kashnizel looks up at the rafters and sees the shadow of the Eldar who gave him his drink. Curious, Kashnizel makes his way to the lavatory and crawls into the rafters. He crawls to the spot where he saw the Eldar and crawls just in time into a corner in the rafters so that the Eldar does not see him.

"I wonder what he is doing up here?" Kashnizel thinks to himself, "Well i'd better just stay here so that he doesn't notice me."


----------



## The Wraithlord

The Wraithlord, wielding a massive table in each mighty hand continues to lay about him in sheer wanton joy at the destruction his manly prowess enables him to partake in. Suddenly his keenly honed sense of danger kicks in and on sheer instinct the heroic despoiler of bar patrons spins in place before hurling both tables like a discus thrower. One table flies into the rafters, striking Pariah in the teeth before ricocheting directly at Kashnizel while the other table hurls into Andael from behind, making it the last and most current thing to go through his mind. Staggering slightly from the vertigo brought on by the mighty spin he used to throw the tables, The Wraithlord then falls on top of the Tau in the corner with a muffled squish. Finding such an effete being underneath him, The Wraithlord takes umbrage upon this assault on his manly and heroic being and grabs Shas'o by the legs, flailing about him single handed as if the foul Xenos were a slightly limpy club, catching Wertypop with a mighty strike.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Awaking from the shock of the table hitting him in the chest, Kashnizel leaps in anger onto the broad shoulders of The Wraithlord (who does not notice him as he is flinging Shas-O) and starts to beat him on the head with two partially broken chairs.


----------



## Master Andael

After getting the table on his head, Andael lay on the ground for a while, thinking of a way to get back at the wraithlord without being beaten to death.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael thought of a way to get back at WL. So he had to go to the kitchen. He sneaked to the kitchen and........

Was hit with a frying pan in the face. Jacobite laughed. "Finally somebody stupid enough to go to the kitchen." Again Andael lay on the ground. He kicked Jacobite in his manly parts. Jacobite let the frying pan loose and it fell ,again, in the face of Andael.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Dropping to a crouch as he landed on the floor, Pariah Mk.231 thinks to himself "Damn, that hurt like being raped by a Carnifex ... good thing I was sipping my Vodka through the straw in my mask, otherwise my teeth would look like an Ork's!"

As if getting smashed in the face with a table wasn't bad enough, but as he toppled from his perch, his camo-coat had snagged a loose nail and now had a 2' gash from the back of the knee to the hem.
This would not stand! The table was OK, but the coat was an insult too far!!
He was going to take a piece of Wraithlord's wraithbone arse and give it to the Dark Kin to taint, then he was going to shove it right back where it came from!!!

Spotting his erstwhile friend atop the monstrosity's head, Pariah Mk.231 began to formulate a plan. This was going to need such subtle skill, brilliant planning and flawless execution to pull off.

With that, Pariah Mk.231 grabbed a bottle and smashed it across the hulking bastard's face and smiled rather smuggly.
"Yeah, I showed him" He thought to himself as he wandered off in search of another drink.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael stood up with a broken nose and kicked Jacobite. He looked around in the kitchen and found the first object he needed to make his 'weapon'.


----------



## wertypop

wertypop land on the pot plant in the corner and is happy its not a Catus!


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel rams a broken chair leg into the shoulder of the Wraithlord, and with that is thrown across the room straight into Andael.

"My most sincere apologies." Master Kashnizel says as he lifts Andael off the floor.


----------



## wertypop

wertypop removes the plant from the pot and puts the pot on his head!


----------



## The Wraithlord

Seeing the rest of the bar patrons gearing up to assault his mighty form, The Wraithlord claps his hands together in a single thunderous crack, preparing to launch a pre-emptive assault on the effete beings around him in a manner befitting his heroic status. Just as he is about to leap head first into the fray, the Daemonette serving girl walks by with a tray full of alcoholic confections. The pull of a fresh drink to quench his mighty thirst is too strong and he reaches for the tray, completely taking his attention of the rest of the bar, secure in his manly prowess and ability to defeat all foes no matter the odds.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 reaches for a drink from the tray the serving daemonette is holding, but before he gets a hand on a drink, a massive arm belonging to Wraithlord reaches over him to take the entire tray beyond his reach.
"Well, this just keeps getting better and better" he mumbles to no one in particular.

But the dissapointment soon dissapates as his eyes are drawn to the rather enticing form of the Daemonette who was until now hidden from his notice by the tray of drinks she carried. 
"Well, this actually does get better and better" Pariah thinks to himself, grinning behind his mask.
Stepping around behind the daemon girl, Pariah wraps an arm around her waist, leans close to her ear, and then whispers something so enticing and naughty, it manages to make even a being formed of the pure energy of Slaanesh blush.

Taking her by the hand that wouldn't have sawn his fingers off, Pariah leads the daemon to the darkest corner in the bar. Halfway across the room however, she stops and whispers something to the Eldar. Giggling, she points to the prone form of the Tau, now discarded by the Wraitlord and Pariah Mk.231 takes hold of his foot and drags him into the shadows with the giggling daemonette.

"Alright" thinks Pariah Mk.231 to himself "Time to show this girl what KINKY really means".


----------



## Master Andael

Andael struggled to get out of Kashnizels grip.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Stop squirming Andael, im tryin' to help you up!" Master Kashnizel yells at him.

Master Kashnizel drops Andael as he sees the gargantuan form of the Wraithlord stealing drinks from Pariah. With this, Kashnizel leaps onto the Wraithlord's arm with two cleavers from the kitchen in his hands and continues by digging them deep into the monster's arm.


----------



## Shas'o Tash'var

After having someone land on him, and being used as a club Tash'var's body hurts everywhere. But he didn't have any time to recover from this blows. Before he knows it he's pulled inside a dark corner of the bar by an Eldar and a Deamonette. Damn, this is getting worse and worse, he whispers by himself....





( edit: changed my bit to fit it into Pahria Mk's post.)


----------



## Ryan_M

As Ryan_M wanders into the slum they call a bar, he catchs a fowl odor of deviants mixed with the sicking stinch of spoiled beer. He walks to the bar stepping over bleeding unconcius people. He tells the bar keep he wants a pint of his best beer. As Ryan_M drinks his beer he notice the numerous bar fights going on, he mutters under breath infadels, as he pulls out a pack smokes Master Kashnizel brawl with a wraithlord makes its way towards him. In preparation from the insuing fight Ryan_M grabs a glass of clear alcohol, takes a swig and turns towards them and spits the liquid through the flame of his lighter.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

( Ryan M this does not fit with what I posted, I am supposed to be in the middle of hacking Wraithlord's arm off. Please edit your post so it fits with the rest of the story)

Thanks



Master Kashnizel jumps out of the way of the oncoming flame and digs his cleavers into Ryan M's left arm stopping him from his lighter. Master Kashnizel than proceeds by jumping back onto the Wraithlord and continuing to hack at his arm.


----------



## Ryan_M

Ryan_M grabs the sleeve from his left arm & rips it away to reveal his bionic arm. He glances down in disgust that Master Kashmizel scratched the finished. In a fit of rage Ryan_M grabs a barstool in each hand and rushes in to mass of people swinging stools hitting who ever happens to be in then way.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

After several minutes, Tash'Var manages to drag himself out of the shadows, not fully knowing what the hell just happened to him.
A few minutes later he is followed by the Daemonette, who staggers from the shadows and collapses onto a nearby table, her eyes glazed and a dillerious smile drawn across her face that seems almost cartoonish.
Strutting triumphantly from the shadows (straightening his coat as he came), Pariah looks very pleased with himself.
Casting his gaze around the bar, he spots a new arrival, noticing the way he's laying into the fellow patrons with a pair of barstools in a fashion similar to how the Wraithlord had been doing with the tables earlier.
He also notices that the newcomer has rather absent-mindedly left his pack of smokes on the bar.
"I could sure do with one of those right now" he mutters, and with that he steps back into the shadows, standing up behind the bar moments later.
"And now for some Yoink!" Pariah Mk.231 says as he snatches the packet off the counter, "Mine now".
Dropping from sight again behind the bar, Pariah next appears back in the rafters, now with a smoke poking out through the grill in his rebreather mask, looking if anything, rather silly.


----------



## The Wraithlord

Enraged by the audacity of Kashnizel in attacking him with a knife, The Wraithlord reaches up with his offhand and grabs hold of Kashnizels head by way of the eye sockets. Seeing Ryan swinging a barstool in wild abandon, The Wraithlord gives a heave of his mighty thews and tosses Kash towards Ryan like a living baseball. That done, the heroic vanquisher of besotted bar patrons plops down on the single remaining barstood and quaffs an ale in a manner befitting one of such manliness, getting down to the serious business of quenching his mighty thirst.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael looked around for his vat of pressurised beer. After a while he found it and went looking for a barrel to fit on the vat. He ran to the toilets and ripped the tube underneath the sink away. Now he needed ammo for his newly created gun. He saw some pokerchips lying on the ground. Taking the pokerchip holder he rammed it in the barrel to create an ammopack.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Suddenly Pariah Mk.231 feels like something is wrong ... something bad is going to happen.

"Oh well, may as well sit up here and watch whatever's gonna happen" Pariah says to himself, taking another drag of the still-silly-looking ciggarette poking out of his rebreather mask.


----------



## Master Andael

Now grinning with his improvised gun in his hands Andael pointed the barrel at the wraithlord. "Time for payback, son of a b***" Andael thought. As soon as he pulled out the plug out of the vat, the liquid it contained gushed out. WL was burping out loud when the jet of liquid containing the pokerchips went down his throat. WL was choking not too heroicly in the pokerchips Andael shot at him.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman 007 walked into the carnage that was the mangled moose, only to have the aforementioned bullet narrowly miss him and hit the door. a crack emerged from the door, slowly spreading acorss the roof of the moose's old rotten roof. The building let out a rather unstable craaack! "Ah, I see the cock-up fairy has visited once again," said chrisman 007.


----------



## Master Andael

After the crack appearing on the wall a piece of plaster fell on the head of crisman 007. When crisman woke up the Mangled Moose had repaired itself in the same way it had done so earlier on the night.


----------



## Ryan_M

*Posting from Games Workshop*

Ryan walks back to the bar to get his smokes, I only some shady P.O.S has taken them. He look around at all the scum who are engaged in malicious activities. He notices the glow of an ember in the rafters. He grabs a bottle of Jack Daniels and hurls at the glow, hitting the vermin who lurks there. Pariah hits the floor with a deafening thus.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Kashnizel crawls to his feet now completly enraged by The Wraithlord. Master Kashnizel looks around the bar to find a weapon and sees the Daemonette waitress lying on a stool. He grabs the seductive daemon by the legs and begins to lay waste to the bar patrons as he makes a path to the Wraithlord. Along the way he sees Pariah lying on the floor and helps him off the ground while asking Pariah to join him as he makes his way to the large beast sitting six tables ahead of him.


----------



## Ryan_M

Over hearing kashnizel offer to Pariah, Ryan_M bolts over to wraithlord and preposes an alliance as well.


----------



## chrisman 007

Wondering what the hell just happened, chrisman 007 picked up his helmet and looked back ten posts to see which of the brawling brain deads shot at him. Master Kashnizel stood there holding the improvised firearm. Chrisman uttered a few words into his vox and suddenly 40 guardsmen, an overzealous commisar, and slightly confused monkey burst through the door. "LET'S GET 'EM LADS!"


----------



## Shas'o Tash'var

Tash'var blinked his eyes... 
By Aun'va he tought! what just happened. He just couldnt remember, although he did remember it wasnt very pleasant. 
When his vision started to become less blurry he looked around the bar once more.
He saw there where still a lot of barfights going on, and the place just magically repaired itself.
One thing attracted his particular attention: A big human using a primitive "gun"... this could become interesting...


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"That's it, I'm making a harness!!" Pariah grumbles, taking Kashnizel's hand.
Surprisingly, the ciggarette is still poking through his mask in a silly fashion, only now it's slightly bent, making it look even more absurb.
"Why do people insist on throwing things at me when I'm up there?!"

It's then that Pariah notices his recently discarded Daemonette girl being swung around by Kashnizel, and hears the marine saying "I'm gonna show this beastie what for, wanna join me?"
Looking over at the Wraithlord, it seems that Ryan M has decided to make a distraction of himself, by running directly at the hulking beast and proceeding to jump up and down in front of him, waving his hands like a fool.

"Silly newcomer, that menace is going to beat him senseless for annoying him, but it'll give us a good chance to get a couple of good hits in."
Before they could make their move however, a swarm of men in uniforms burst through the door, with one very confused monkey in their midst.
"Oh crap, it's the fuzz" proclaimed a startled Pariah, before Kashnizel informs him that they're just Guardsmen, "Oh, this is going to be easy then!".

With that, Pariah Mk.231 picks up a barstool and begins clearing a path through the whimpy Guardsmen to get to the Wraithlord, Kashnizel following closely, sting swinging the limp form of the Daemonette.
"Well" Pariah laughs "She was already going to be sore in the morning, this isn't going to make much difference!!!"


----------



## Ryan_M

Little did Pariah know that this was Ryan_M's paln, while his feeble mind tried comprehend the what was taking place. Ryan_M seized the moment to turn towards Pariah and rush in and hit him with a left uppercut, knocking him onto his back. Ryan_M walks over to Pariahs stunned body and noticed his rebreather laying beside his bleeding head.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Looking up at Ryan M, Pariah Mk.231 grins, revealing a mouth full of viscious, needle-point teeth. It had to be revealed that he was one of the Dark Ones sooner or later.

"You have no idea what kind of trouble you are in!" Pariah said flatly, his eyes fixed on Ryan M's.

Rolling to his left, Pariah scooped a handfull of wooden shards from the floor, the remains of various smashed barstools and tables, and with a flick of his wrist, sent the makeshift shurikan directly into the eyes of the foolish meat-puppet.

Ryan raised a hand to shield his eyes from the missiles, and this was exactly what Pariah had been expecting. While his vision was obscured, Pariah lashed out with a low kick to the back of Ryan M's knee, bringing him to the floor.

Recovering his Mask, Pariah Mk.231 stepped over the prone form of the Guardsman on the floor, delivering a kick into his jaw as he did so, earning himself a loud crack for his efforts. 
Satisfied that the Mon-Kiegh had learned his lesson, Pariah Mk.231 lept back into the fray, watching Kashnizel's back as he advanced towards the towering Wraithlord.


----------



## Ryan_M

As Ryan_M lay on the floor rubbibg is jaw, he wonders to him self what sort of repulsive creature Pariah is. Ryan_M rises from the floor cracks his neck and knuckles. He looks aroound the establishment so he is ableto shove Pariahs rembreather down his throat, but he is no where to be seen. He then relizes Pariah is doing what he does best, running & hiding, Ryan_M searchs and remembers pariah likes hiding in the cold, dank, & darkness of the rafters. Ryan_M figures it is'nt worth the trouble of weeding out the worthless Dirt-Bag, so he walks to the bar & orders another drinl, being sure to stay aware of his surroundins at all time.


----------



## chrisman 007

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted chrisman in pain as Pariah kicked him in the jaw "THAT F****** HURT!!!! GET THE TECHIE LA... oh."

Chrisman looked around in shock as all his fellow guardsmen were knocked down by a barstool and a bad fart. However, his forces weren't spent yet. well, actually they were, but he still had a plan. sort of. well, no he didn't. He unslung his lasgun, discovered it was empty so he ran amongst the warring, errr, things, using his lasgun as a club knocking all that stood before him, eagerly searching for pariah, to return the favour. well, that's what he thought would happen.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael now laughing out loud was still firing into the the now gathered crowd hitting only guardsmen. His gun ran out of pressure, so he threw the bulky contraption to crisman 007.


----------



## chrisman 007

The bulky contraption hit chrisman straight in the face. the gun fired, hit a wall and a crack spread across it. The moose let out another "CRAAAAAAAAACK." Yet another bit of plaster hit chrisman on the head. When he awoke, exacly the same thing had happened like before. He holstered the firearm and continued his search for pariah.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master kashnizel leaps forward onto a wimpy Guardsman and stomps on his head. "Only 7 more metres." Kashnizel thinks as the tracking device inside his helmet locks onto Wraithlord. Master KLashnizel turns his head to make sure that Pariah is still behind him and is just able to dodge an oncoming piece of plaster.


----------



## Mikal Darkus

In another place, far far away. Darkus, a Daemon Prince, and his Khorne warband were engaging a Eldar Warlock council in bloody combat. While his Khorne Bezerkers fought a furious battle in hand to hand, Darkus squared off against the concil's Farseer. 

" Your blood shall flow today, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD " raising his Axe and charging, Darkus knew he had won.

" You fate will be worse than death, Daemon " The Farseer raised his hands and released a powerful energy that struck the Chaos lord.

Darkus's vision flashed as warp energy screamed over his body.

Darkus open his eyes to find himself standing in a bar holding a blow-up daemonette doll were his axe should be and a pack of ultra small condoms instead of his combi-bolter.

" Very funny, Elf " grumbled Darkus


----------



## chrisman 007

"Oh no, not Bob!" screamed chrisman. "That's it!" He aimed the impromptu weapon at both pariah and Master Kashnizel. he fired it, but it was out of pressure, causing the weapon to explode. This set of his lasguns power pack, causing him to whiz round the room, taking out Pariah, wraithlord, Master Kashnizel and 7 gaurdsmen all at once. Again a bit of plaster fell on chrisman's head.


----------



## The Wraithlord

Caught by surprise from the poker chip attack, The Wraithlord reeled in shock for a moment before once again reverting to the heroic and manly figure he is. Using his tongue to dredge the poker chips in place, The Wraithlord blows his nose farmer style, sending a poker chip directly into the open throat of a yelling Andeal, another into Kash's left eye, blinding him, and in a physical possibility only for one of his awe inspiring stature, yet a third directly into Pariah's ear at nearly the speed of sound. Finding himself momentarily defenseless The Wraithlord calmly waits a moment longer to finish the last of his still cold beer before leaping across the barroom in a manner truly befitting one of such might, landing with such force that all in the bar are thrown violently to their knees. Helping Ryan up in acknowledgment of Ryans alliance proposal, The Wraithlord then begins to buffet all those around him about the head and neck area with mighty swings of his awe inspiring thews. The sound of necks breaking is heard 3 blocks away while Ryan follows behind, wary of stragglers.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

(Yo Chrisman, you do realise it was Ryan I kicked in the jaw yeah? Oh well, I guess I got you sometime in the massive melee.)

A stinging pain sears across the left side of Pariah's head, forcing him to his knees. Touching his hand to his head, Pariah is enraged to find that most of his left ear is missing.
"At least that Wolf Lord didn't get it!" Pariah muttered, standing once more.

Pariah turned slowly to face the towering Wraithlord, eyes burning with the glow of hatred.

"You're going to pay for ..." Pariah was interrupted as an airborne Guardsman impacted with him, toppling him to the floor once more.

"I hate this place ... I'm always getting his in the head!"


----------



## chrisman 007

(Pariah, you just said a guardsmen, I think)

Chrisman had accomplished his objective of revenge on both Kashnizel and pariah. However he had wacked Wraithlord in the face. He got up, and he was slowly moving towards him with vengeful intent. "The cock-up fairy strikes again," said chrisman as he slowly backed away, stepping on Pariah's jaw, with a resonating crack. "muhahahaha!"


----------



## Pandawithissues...

The giant panda finishes wiping off the vomit from his fur after seeing far FAR too much of what pathfinder did to that demonette. Sexual Harrassmant makes me a SAD PANDA! He roars as he hulks towards pathfinder, stopping only to help the abused demonette up. SHOW ME ON THE DOLL WHERE HE TOUCHED YOU! The panda roars, grabbing the inflatable demonette doll out of darkus' weak insipid grasp and gesturing towards it with a meaty paw.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman heard the panda's roar, only to have a very satisfied pathfinder fly through the roof. A crack spread across the roof, reaching a bit of plaster. "I hate Mondays." a bit of plaster landed on chrisman's head.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

( acting as the Daemonnette)

"Right there." she says with delight as she points seven fingers at places you would never imagine a person could.... "put it in."

(back to normal)

In a fit of utter rage kashnizel grabs chrisman by the head and smashes his stupid Guardsman face against the side of a table until you could only recognize him by taking a DNA test of whatever was left of his face. Next he turns and jumps on ryan M with force enough to break every bone in his body and grabs him by the nuts and then hurls him into the middle of a retinue of frenzied Khorne Berserkers at the other side of the bar. After this he again asks Pariah if he would like to help him take down the Wraithlord once and for all.


----------



## Mikal Darkus

Slightly confused by the warp experince, gazing at a rather ugly black and white Chaos Spawn ( panda ) Darkus is thrown forward after being hit in the back by a flying Ryan ( a year ago Spikey Bits would have stop this ). The rest of the retiune fled from the orbital body bombardment to the safety of a half destroyed fort, Leaving their leader face down in a pool of Khrone knows what...


----------



## Ryan_M

With a malevolent grin Rya_M nrises to his feet as if a devil himself was rising from the depths hell. He trudged forward mangling any who dared get his way, finally reacheing Master Kashnizel, Ryan_M grabs him by the head and slams it into a near by column. As Kashnizel lay flaccid on the floor, Ryan_M proceeds stomp on his testicles until his entire pelvic region was crushed. Kashnizel awoke in the middle of the horrid act, het let out a hallow cry only to loose consciousness from the excruciating torment. Ryan_M turns to Wraith Lord says to him " your turn".


----------



## Master Andael

Master Andael was trying to remove the pokerchips from places they shouldn't be. After succeeding he yelled at kashnizel if he could join his team against the WL.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

With a resounding crash, Pariah came back through the roof like a meteorite, landing in a remarkably un-occupied part of the bar, his impact splintering floorboards and somehow creating a questionable amount of sparks. Several of these sparks managed to set a puddle a spilt alcohol ablaze several feet away.

Picking up a poker chip from the floor, Pariah flicked it at the sorry remains of the jukebox, the impact placed precisely to bring the machine spirit of the damaged hunk of junk back to life. Ominous, and rather epic music began to fill the air as Pariah rose rather dramatically to his feet, back to the rest of the bar.
Turning slowly, Pariah's bloodied features were revealed by the light of the fire, jaw dislocated and hanging at an odd angle. With a rough flick of his head, Pariah's jaw snapped back into place with a sickening "crack".

"There are so many people who's arses I need to kick!", the words felt as much as they were heard by the other patrons.

Shattering a nearby stool, Pariah scooped up two of the legs, now jagged stakes, and started towards Ryan M, bounding from table to table. As Ryan steadied himself against a table to renew his assault on the noble Kashnizel's sacred relics, Pariah stabbed down through the whelp's left hand, pinning it in place.
Flowing one motion into the next, Pariah dropped to a knee and spun on the table, boot connecting with Ryan M's ribs, the force popping his arm from from the socket, while at the same time hurling the other stake directly at the raging Panda.
The wooden shard piercing the blow up daemonette doll and pinning it to his forehead.

Hearing Andeal shouting to the unconscious form of Kashnizel, Pariah jeered back "It might help if you wake him first!!!"


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel awakes in utter pain and quickly grabs the dying body of Ryan M and swings him into a nearby fire before jumping and landing on his head with a loud "crack".

Master Kashnizel looks towards Pariah and Andael and simply nods. The trio begin to run towards the Wraithlord with incredible speed and manage to each find on huge bodypart on the Wraithlord to beat on. Master Kashnizel grabs a bottle of vodka and proceeds by creating a Molotov Cocktail which he smashes on his flame resistent armor and jumps on The Wraithlords head, causing the Wraithlord to burn, and burn, and burn.....


----------



## Master Andael

Seeing Kashnizel grabbing a bottle of vodka, Andael took a poolcue and tried to ram it through the area where WLs genitals should be situated.


----------



## Ryan_M

I fail to see how wood penatrates metal (bionic left arm), but I will go with it.

Ryan_M rises to feet covered in the charred remains of the others that have fell victim to what known as the Mangled Moose. Removing the remains from himself, he notices there are numerous bones littering the floor. Ryan_M grabs two rather large femer bones, leaps on table and proceeds to climb in to rafter, positioning himself above Pariah & Wraithlord. With a look pure insanity Ryan_M drops from the rafter shovin bones trough tops of there head.


----------



## chrisman 007

At this current moment in time a sperm whale was called into exsistance above the bar. The whale was rather confused and had only a few seconds to come to terms with it's exsistance. "Oh, ok, so this is exsistance." Began the whale "I better start making up names for things. What's this wooshing sound around what i've just decided to call my ears, it needs a wooshy sounding name, ind....find... pind.... WIND! That's a jolly good name. What about this big thing that I can see. It needs a big name. Ound... round... GROUND! I wonder whether it will be friends with me?"

(p.s: yes, I am reading hitchickers guide to the galaxy at the mo.)
Chrisman felt a growing pain in the side of where his face should be. "Oww, there's got to be away I can get that b****** Kashnizel back. If only a whale could fall on top of him." At that precise moment a sperm whale smashed through the roof crushing Kashnizel, Pariah and Ryan_M all at once. Chrisman heard the Moose let out a CRAAAAAACK! Chrisman jumped out the way, and the bit of plaster hit wraithlord flaming head instead. However, a whale was not a barfight weapon, so the moose punished chris by sending a bigger peice of plaster apon his head.


----------



## Ryan_M

Ryan_M saw his impending doom & teleported Wraithlord & his self out of danger mere moments before the whale fell to the ground. The whale lay there motionless crushed by its weight, so Ryan_M proceeds to remove the whales monumental teeth. He them moves toward Chrisman clutching the serrated, with no hesitation Ryan_M slits Chrismans throat severeing his corroded artery. Know covered in the lifeblood of the fallen Guardsmen, Ryan_M continues to desecrate Chrisman body by hacking at it.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

(Ryan, I though it was your right arm that was bionic, oh well, I meant the real arm anyway)

Distracted by the now flaming Wraithlord (suppressing a giggle at the irony) Pariah failed to notice Ryan un-pinning himself and climbing to the rafters. He also wondered why the whole scene had jumped several metres to the right, but a falling whale soon proved that this was indeed a very wierd bar.
Within moments, something like a lightning bolt ripped along the side of his head, tearing off half of his other ear in the process.

"Both my ears taken, and no Wolf in sight?! Gah, screw this, I'm going back to the corner!!!" Pariah roared, turning with a wink towards the Daemonette serving girl, who giggled in return.
This time it was her that took Pariah's hand and hurried him towards the shadows, passing a very angry Panda on the way, who realised that this time it was consensuel, so there was nothing he could do about it.
Remembering that he was meant to ge helping Andael and Kashnizel, Pariah paused, hefting one of the many fallen guardsmen into the air, and hurled him directly at the Wraithlord, taking him full in the chest and knocking him back a step. The added weight of the space marine on his head causing him to topple backwards, arms flailing wildly, a random swing catching Ryan M in the chest and hurling him directly through the wall, and out of the over-crowded bar.


----------



## Ryan_M

heres the post pariah 

As Ryan_M picks him self up from blow he grabs a peice of rubble and furiouslly charges pariah, slaming the concrete rubble into the side of his face ripping the flesh flesh from his skull. Ryan_M stummbled back in c


----------



## Master Andael

At the very moment life slips away from crisman a Man dressed in white clothes appeared in the middle of the bar shining so brightly that everybody who was fighting had to shield their eyes from the light. The man walked above the filth on the floor to crisman. "Your time has not come my son." He spoke softly, but everybody heard him. Putting one hand on the irregular cut, it healed instantly. The man turned around towards Ryan_M and gave him _the_ look. Ryan_M couldn't do anything, but stare. Andael went down on his knees (yes in the filth)to pay his respect to Him. The Man turned around and walked out of the bar.


----------



## The Wraithlord

(Gotta say this thread is awesome lol)


Staggering back from the blow to the chest of the dead gaurdsman, on fire, and accidentally knocking his allies out the window while being poked in the shorthairs, The Wraithlord realizes that things are not going the way they should for one of his stature. All movement in the bar stops and even the lights and music seem to dim as The Wraithlord straightens up to his full and mighty height, towering above the effete and lesser beings around him. The patrons of the bar are struck with bone chilling terror as he does that which has not yet happened: slowly, The Wraithlord begins to smile, a smile devoid of all humour and filled with a sense of pure malice that those around him who are not his allies instantly lose control of their bowels, soiling themselves to a one. With a thunderous clap of his mighty hands, he instantly snuffs the fire about his person and turns his gaze upon Andael. With a manly and tremendous strike, The Wraithlord punches the ground before Andael, creating a shockwave that sends the infidel flying through the new hole in the roof and out into the night sky. That done, his gimlet gaze turns upon Kash, still trying to rekindle the flame in The Wraithlords hair, ending the attempt by shoving a rafter beam up Kash's arse and using him as a living mace.

All attempts to stop such a mighty being of pure heroic capabilities is pushed aside with little to no effort. Chaos decends upon the Mangled Moose....


----------



## Ryan_M

But before the man could leave Ryan_M regained his composer and hurled a pool ball at the back of his head, as the ball made contact with base of the skull a loud snap echoed through bar and man dropped to floor.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman, mortally wounded, staggered to his feet, clutching the wound. This was it. He was to die on the floor of a dingy pub. But then he remembered a very important fact. WHALES DON'T HAVE TEETH!! Suddenly, the wound healed. "Wicked!" said chrisman in awe "knowledge really is power! Where is that little B****** ryan...." chris locked onto ryan. "YOU!" Chris walked up to the idiotic ryan. Chris put on the commissar hat and tried to look important. "You have been charged with assaulting fellow barmen and almost killed an officer! What is you plee?" Ryan jumped in surprise as the commissar chris descended upon him. He cowered in fear. "WHAT IS YOUR PLEE!?!" 
"I.....I...don't know!" stuttered Ryan in fear.
"PATHETIC!" Chris spat in the face of the gibbering "I hereby execute you for stupidity and attempted murder in the name of the GLOURIOUS EMPEROR!"
Chris whipped out out his bolt pistol, aimed at the gibbering ryan, prepared to pull the trigger...
"Hang on, HANG ON!"shouted wraithlord, butting in "since when were you were you a commissar?"
"Err, 5 minutes ago," Replied chrisman.
"You haven't been trained at the schola... schola.... schola... schola something, you haven't got the wargear...."
"I've got the hat."
"Well... you've got a point there. Carry on." Wraithlord walked off to start enough fight.
"Anyway, where were we?" asked chrisman to ryan.
"Aiming at my head ranting about the emperor."
"ah, that's right. Night, night."
BANG!


----------



## Ryan_M

sperm whales do








I must defend my stoy line also seems you not following story line


----------



## chrisman 007

Ah. This complicates things. Sorry. Upon seeing this fact, chrisman fell down dead, bolt pistol and commissar hat falling to the ground. A stabbing sensation creeped all across his body. This was it. He was dying.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Kashnizel turns as he sees the pole coming towards him and jumps on it. He than proceeds to crawl up the pole and grab the Wraithlords head in his mighty hands and screams as loud as possible strait into his ears letting his hatred flow into the Wraithlord's body. Crack. That was the sound heard as Master Kashnizel closed his paws on Wraithlord's head. Master Kashnizel lept away from the body and proceeded to where Chrisman lay dying, blood splurting out of the Wraithlord's neck. Master Kashnizel to his narthecium and reductor out of his bag and put them on his gloved hand.....


----------



## chrisman 007

Ah, but chrisman was not finished yet. He had a plan. By the bar, there was a discarded, but not damaged pack of nathecium. Above the bar, mounted in a case was a double barreled shotgun. Very near him was a dying wraithlord, who looked like he was crawling with similar intent. But chris was faster than the Wraithlord. He crawled above him, gave a hard kick in the face, and the injured combatant was knocked out. Chris finally reached the pack, slowly injecting the regenerative materials into his bloodstream. The wound on his neck healed, and the various cuts and bruises on his body lessened in size. "That was close,"said chrisman "TOO close." Trying to be a discrete as possible, chris crawled round to the other side of the bar, filled himself up with lager, and got the shotgun out the case. "MUHAHAHAHA!" shouted chrisman maniacally "THOUGHT YOU GOT RID OF ME THEN? HA!" chris pumped the shotgun and aimed at Ryan, preparing to pull the trigger. "He's armed, duck for cover!" shouted Andael, the only of the drunkards that hadn't done chris any harm. 

Meanwhile, a couple of miles away a Heroic Senior Officer was trying to communicate with the 40 odd guardsmen, the overzealous commissar and the very confused monkey that had assaulted the moose. "Damn, they've been whipped out," exclaimed the HSO "Well, we're gonna return the favour. Basilisks! OPEN FIRE!"


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

(Except for the fact that the man in white healed you Chrisman)

After what seemed like an eternity, Pariah Mk.231 stepped from the shadows with his arm around the Daemonette's shoulders, both looking very satisfied.

"So, what'd I miss ... and why does it smell like everyone in the bar shit themselves?!" Pariah asked, the stench hitting him like a wall the instant he left the shadows.
"Oh god, that's aweful!!!" Pariah moaned, doubling over and vomiting against his own will.
Once the contents of his stomach had been completely voided, along with an unhealthy amount of stomach lining, Pariah straightened, supporting himself on the Daemonette.

"Why can't we all just ..." Pariah stopped midsentance as he rubbed the back of his head, finding a large portion of his scalp missing.
Turning to the Daemonette he asked "Did you do that?", to which she shakes her head in response.
"For Khaine's sake, I'll going to look like a Genestealer soon with all this damage to my head!!!" Pariah sighed.

Pointing to the Wraithlord, now swinging Kashnizel around by a beam rammed up his arse, the Daemonette giggles and says to Pariah "Now he knows what I just went through."

"Time for some fun" Pariah whispered to the Daemonette "You know what to do".
With that, she slinked off towards the bar, reaching over an pressing a big red button on the other side. All the patrons froze as the ground beneath their feet began to rumble, the centre of the room sliding open, revealing a haze of smoke and a slowly rising platform, shadowy figures standing within the cloud. The lights dimmed.
Leaping into their midst, the figures began to move ... and then there was noise, and coloured spotlights. The smoke cleared, the figures within revealed to be a group of Noise Marines, instruments roaring into life.
Grabbing a microphone, Pariah made his voice heard ...

"One. Two. Three. NIL!!!" Pariah roared.

"Chaos, is just the beginning, every promise I made I'm rescinding.
Stab the knives in the middle of the monster, I'm getting tired of drowning in the constant cry for help."

The crowd began to slowly shuffle towards the stage, jaws hanging slack as they took in what was happening.

"It's debatable, the only reason that you love me is, I'm hated by all.
COME ON! 
Come see dysfunction, I guess we're gonna leave it open for discussion."

The crowd started to react to the music, nodding their heads to the discordant sound.

"WHO AM I? 
Where am I going? 
Maybe I'm looking in the wrong direction, maybe I'm looking for any direction."

The crowd was pleased. Time for the chorus.

"This is not my war!
This is not my fight!
This is something more! 
This is not my life!
This is not my revolution,
This is not my convolution, 
This is not my expectation, 
This is not my desperation!"

By now the crowd, including the towering Wraithlord (who'd managed to lose Kashnizel somehow), were really getting into it.

"Holed up, scarred, and tamed for the hell of it, 
Look at me, I am the glorified malcontent. 
Save me, save this, all I got to do is give up, and all is forgiven?"

Pariah had them right where he wanted them.

"I'm sick, of being the butt of a cosmic joke, and I don't get the punchline.
A million people lined up for miles, to see the great big mouth, SHUT UP AND APOLOGIZE!!!" 

Pariah paused, holding the mic out and coaxing the frenzied crowd to roar the chorus back to him. A pair of Noise Marines covered the next verse, Pariah taking the chance to leap into the rafters, several spotlights following his every move. Leering down at the assembled masses, Pariah roared the next verse, his voice audible over the music without the need for amplification.

"I'm the PARIAH,
Break me! 
I am the liar, 
Save me!
I can take anything,
Make Me! 
Accuse me of everything,
Kill Me!"

Hopefully the crowd missed that last part. 

"Cut off the system,
Shape me! 
Deny my existance,
Waste me! 
I won't be afraid,
Try me! 
I won't be unmade,
DENY ME!!!"

The crowd began tearing the bar apart in their frenzy, the fighting resuming around the stage. Allowing the marines to finish the song for him, Pariah descended back to the stage. The song ended with an overly dramatic roar as the roof of the bar detonated, torn apart by the incoming Earthshaker rounds, the mystical protection of the bar saving it from complete destruction.
"Who's next?!" Pariah screamed, before holding the microphone above his head, waiting for someone else to step up to the kareoke challenge.

EDIT: Sorry about that being so long ... I've had to make some changes too because other people posted while I was typing it all up.


----------



## Mikal Darkus

Rising from the filthy floor, Darkus looked down upon himself

" BLOOD OF KHORNE !!! I've been blessed by Nurgle "

Darkus slowly walks around the bar looking for the Herald of Nurgle ( Who usually appears and grants Marks of Nurgle ) and calmly inform it its made a mistake... WITH HIS FISTS!


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Pariah! Shut the fuck up and help me drag the Wraithlord out of the bar!" Kashnizel screams in sheer anger. "He weighs like 40000 pounds!"

Seeing that Pariah is singing to a bewildered crowd Kashnizel gives up and gets the Giant Panda to help him drag the Wraithlord's dying decapitated body out of the bar.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"Just cover his body up with some tables ... and while you're at it, do something about this mess" Pariah Mk.231 yells pack, pointing to the shit covered floor.

"Actually ..." Salvaging a jagged bit of metal from the floor, Pariah runs over to Wraithlord's inert form, and cuts a wraithbone toe from the monster.
"Nice. One Terrorfex grenade coming right up!!" Whispers a satisfied Pariah, retreating into the kitchen to begin his work, passing the form of Jacolite, still clutching his groin in pain from the severity of Andael's kick.


----------



## The Wraithlord

Seeing his mighty champion laid low by Kash, Tzeentch twists the strands of fate and calls upon his fellow Chaos gods to join forces, making so plans of their own fall into place in return for their aid. That done, The Wraithlord is infused with the power of the Empryean, healing all wounds, further strengthening his already mighty thews and gifting him with the Mark of Chaos Ultimata. Surging to his feet in a stunning display of power and manliness, The Wraithlord turns his gaze upon Kash who once again feels his bowls turn to water. Nurgle takes a hand in this, furthering the effects and Kash comes down with a case of dysentry worthy of such an effete being and he begins to trail intestines from his lower orifice. That done, The Wraithlord then turns to Mikal and the Noise Marines, inviting them into the raw power of Chaos that they may turn that power upon the other patrons of the bar. The chaos that ensues is told for millennia in whispers and hushed voices, fear streaking the words that such might come again in their time. And in every telling of the tale, The Wraithlords heroic exploits in the name of Chaos are always a revered part of the story along with the gruesome fate of Kash and Pariah at the hands of Mikal and the Noise Marines.


----------



## sea dragons

After a year long war Sea Dragon was looking for a nice bar to have a drink in he came across the Mangled Moose. 
a load of singing coming from within. 

"uumm.. sounds like a jolly old shin dig is goin on in there"

pokeing his head round the corner of the door Sea Dragon sees the form of some strange dude, retreating into a back room, and started to laugh at some poor boy who was clutching his groin in pain. only then to see a demon of immence power pushing his weight around.

"hey now can't have that can we" and picking up a broken bottle slowily approched the chaos abomination from behind.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael teleported back in to the bar and went to the Man in white to help Him. The Man stood up and looked to WL. "Chaos is not allowed in this bar" the Man shouted and the WL shrunk to the size of a ratling. The Man turned around and went to Ryan_M "That was your last chance, my son. One more time being so rude to attack somebody from behind and my creation (the man pointed to the huge Panda) will end your life." He went away and wasn't attacked this time. Andael still longing for revenge went to WL and showed him his kicking technique in the same way he learned Jacobite his technique.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris, still holding the shotgun, scanned for ryan_m. there he was, frozen to the spot, watching the man walk out. Good he was distracted, another good thing was that he was stood next to the whale. "Hey Ryan!" shouted chris "That whale tooth joke was a good idea. It's my turn now." Chris pumped the shotgun, and fired. The burst caught him on the leg. "ARGHH!" Screamed ryan as he fell in the whales gapping move. Chris raised the shotgun, aimed at the muscle keeping the mouth open. He fired, the muscle snapped and the mouth closed with a loud crash. Blood poured out of where ryan was lying. Chris then aimed at the Ratling wraithlord. Bang! "Oh no, not good! NOT GOOD!" said the ratty wraithlord in an unusually high voice "Very bad!" Ratty wraithlord ran under the skirting board, not returning for some time. By this time Chris had fired about 7 rounds at his peers. "Muhahaha!" Bang! Bang! "Muhahahahaha!" Bang! "Muhahaha!" click. click. click. click. Damn. Empty.


----------



## Viscount Vash

A cloud of purple vapour issues from the the cellar hatch, pink motes of light whirling within.

Gradually the funktastic fog moves to the bar and starts to solidify into the form of Viscount Vash. Leaning casually on the bar The pleasure seeker orders a _Old Keeper SurReal Ale_ and looks out upon the mayhem in the _Mangled Moose_ enjoying the sounds and sights.......


.......it seems to have been redecorated a stunning shade of crimson gore since his last visit......


----------



## Kronus

Inquisitor Lord Kronus, High Protector of the Varian Sector relaxed in a corner both a fine Melosian Brandy in one hand soaking up the atmosphere. He had a long day burning heretics and virus bombing a city that didn't meet his architectural standards. However he couldn't help but feel he was in a rut. There were only so many times you could summarily execute people to alleviate boredom before the task itself was chore. It was over 6 months since his sector had received a damn good daemonic incursion and he was beginning to wander what was keeping them. As it was his ornate daemonhammer was of little more use then an overlarge walking stick.

A grizzled IG veteran looked his way. As of norm that was enough in itself for Kronus to indicate to his attendant retainers and acolytes to take him outside and introduce him to an evicerator but he couln't be asked. Something was wrong; perhaps he had come down with something. That’s it; he must have picked some horrible fatiguing disease when he purged the Gideon hive a week back. With a little bit of medication he would be back to his homicidal paranoid self in no time. Not noticing the new arrival he continued to mull the issue over in his mind


----------



## Ryan_M

Ryan forced the mammoth beasts jaws open, luckly the jaws of the whale only caused minor damage. He limped over chrisman who trembles in fear of Ryan's 7ft stature looming over him. Ryan grabs the shotgun from chrisman and shoves the stock up his rectum.


----------



## sea dragons

seeing that WL had been turned into a ratling, Sea Dragon felt rather disapointed. feeling like he needed to crush something. he grabed a chair which had been knocked over, and approched Lord K. 

"F**KIN INQU, i hate INQU" with a bit of a run Sea Dragon lobbed the chair which sailed through the air. the chair slamming into lord k's forhead, making his spill his drink all down his amour.

"hahaha, yessss right between the eyes"

turning to see Chris_man with a shotgun up his ass. he shouted across the room at Ryan who had just comited the sin full act.

"hey matey, thats just not cricket".

and single handed chucked his thunder-hammer at Ryans head.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Completing his work on the Terrorfex grenade, Pariah Mk.231 attaches it to his belt and walks back into the main barroom, just to find everything almost exactly the way he'd left it.

"Lelith's tits, don't these people do anything constructive?!" Pariah grumbles to himself.

Pariah wonders why no-one has stepped up to the karoke challenge, glancing at the stage. To his surprise, the Noise Marines are no longer there, looking around the bar, Pariah soon spots them surrounding his Daemonette friend, lustful looks in their eyes.
She doesn't seem to like the idea however, taking a swipe at any of the marines that get too close.

"Right, this won't do!" Pariah sighs, swiftly making his way to the aid of the poor warp-girl, avoiding the ongoing conflicts still raging in the bar.
Reaching the stage, Pariah snatches up one of the discarded Sonic Blasters, turning it on it's former owner and his friends. The Noise Marines, however used to the weapon they may be, found themselves on the wrong end of the barrage of sonic brutality Pariah was unleashing in his solo, reducing their organs to jelly and tearing their bodies apart.

"Nice, I think I'll keep this" Pariah chuckles, strapping the weapon across his back, taking a discarded Doom Siren too and hanging it from his belt.
Hitting the big red button on the stage, Pariah leaps clear and allows it to return to it's place below the floor. Landing before the relieved serving girl, Pariah extends a hand and asks "What say we blow this joint? We can go back to my place for the night and see how it goes from there?".
Looking around at the mess that was the Mangled Moose, the Daemonette smiles and replies "Sure, my shift is over now anyway. Let's go!"
She then removed her name tag, which Pariah noticed said Shay'leth, and tossed it onto a nearby table.

Placing his arm around the little nymph's shoulders, Pariah leads her to the door. "Maybe I'll come back tomorrow night."
Reaching the door, Pariah unhooked the Terrorfex grenade from his belt, and flicked it back over his shoulder. "A parting gift" Pariah shouted back to the crowd behind him, though no-one noticed.

"So, what are you going to do with that?" The Shay'leth asked after they had stepped outside, nodding towards the Sonic Blaster on Pariah's back.
"Thinking of starting a band ... that's why I grabbed this too" Pariah responded, patting the Doom Siren hanging from his belt.

A few seconds later, the Terrorfex grenade went off, subjecting almost everyone in the bar to a tumult of nightmarish psychic visions, dropping them all to the floor, where they screamed like the damned, rolling around in the filth for several minutes. Only Andael and Kashnizel still stood, blinking in confusion, wondering what had just happened.
Finally, the Mangled Moose itself had decided it had had enough punishment, invoking the magics that restored it to it's original state, all signs of damage and filth removed, a new bartender and Daemonette serving girl popping into existence behind the bar.
When the fallen patrons overcame the visions and stopped screaming, they found themselves in a completely re-newed Mangled Moose, ready to be trashed yet again.

Needless to say, Pariah Mk.231 and Shay'leth spent the remainder of the night in pure ecstacy, a bliss so exquisite that no bard would ever find the words to describe it.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Holy shit, what the fuck was that?" Master Kashnizel asks Andael in sheer confusion.
Seeing that all of the bar patrons were on the floor just waiting to be stomped on, Kashnizel starts towards Ryan M who is still rather confused by the appearance of the Man. He quickly dispatches of ryan M by stomping on his back and than his neck. After stomping on a few more bar patrons he notices that Pariah and the Daemonette have left the bar. 

"Oh well I can only imagine what they are doing." Master Kashnizel says before he goes to get a drink.


----------



## sea dragons

daze and confused Sea Dragon picked himself up off the floor. 

"uuuhh.. what the heck was that. why does my back hurt"

strapping his thunder-hammer to his back, he makes his way to the bar were kashnizel and andael are buying a round. 

"maybe i'll actually make it to the bar this time, oy!!! barkeep get us a pint of _Emperors finest_"


----------



## Master Andael

While everybody were on the ground Andael took all the weapons they had and threw them outside. "Don't need those in a barfight" He thought. Andael sat down next to Kasnizel and ordered an pint of the _Emperors finest_ just like Sea Dragon.


----------



## OneEyedSpaceMarine

The One Eyed marine entered, weary from his battle with the blood thirster, craving liquid refreshment. 
"Barkeep, pour me a draught of amasec!"
"Amasec?! Where do u think you are!?! HAVE SOME O' THIS!!!!"
The one-eyed giant threw his head back, draining the contents of the bottle in less than 5 seconds. He smiled, "I'll have a dozen bottles please..."
He looked around, spoiling for a good brawl. Aye, the good stuff always did that...


----------



## chrisman 007

"Andael, don't pull the shotgun!" cried chrisman, shotgun still up his arse "Don't pull, it hurts don't pull, don't pull DON'T PU...AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" andael ripped the shotgun out of chrisman's arse "Oww!" said chrisman, noticing that the shotgun had come out with about 3 8 gauge magazines had come out with it. "Wait a second," chrisman said "Give me the shotgun."
"No," responded "it's a barfight."
"Barfight my arse, shotgun, NOW!"
"NO!"
"Alrighty then, have it your way..."
Chris promptly kneed andael in the crouch. He dropped Chris's shotgun. Chris promptly snatched it up, loaded in a magazine and aimed at andael's head. "This is for not complying to my demands!" click click. andael faints. fueled up with shotgun rounds, chrisman had ammo to waste. Ryan was still there, the little bitch. This time chris wasn't sneaky about his kill. He fired at ryan straight in the chest and once again in the neck. Ryan fell down, seemingly dead.

Next, he had to find ratling wraithlord. He aimed at the skirting board. Bang.
"Ah! Not good!" a scrabbling was heard in the wall, and the noise span around sometime before bursting out the wall. Wraithlord was back at his normal size, a little dazed and surprised, but no longer a ratling. "Eep."


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Seeing as Chrisman was being a bitch and was not respecting the rules, Master Kashnizel walks to him and very bluntly snaps his neck.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 stumbles back into the Moose, looking exhausted and ready to collapse. His rebreather mask now repaired and sporting some new customisations, clearly looted from the Doom Siren he'd taken with him when he left. His camo-coat had been replaced with a high-collar, ankle length black trenchcoat. His ears had been stitched back on, and his head bare to reveal a patchwork of new scars.
He'd left his new Sonic Blaster at home with Shay'leth, and this time remembered to bring his own pack of smokes with him. He'd also brought a spare pack along as well.

Looking around, he notices that everyone is only just recovering from the effects of the Terrorfex grenade, and havn't yet got back to beating each other senseless. Though it seemed utter mayhem wasn't far away.

"I knew it!!" Pariah proclaimed "This place must be within the realm of Chaos!!!"
After he'd left last night, he'd spent hours having fun with Shay'leth back at his place, then spent the day knocking together a new outfit, before wasting a few more hours in bed with Shay'leth again.
When darkness had fallen, he'd come back here, just to find that only a handful of minutes had passed. Time did indeed flow differently here.

Seeing what Chrisman had just done to Andael and Ryan M, he walked over to their bodies, prodding each in turn with his boot.
"Uh, hey guys, you do realise you can't die in here right? Get up and join me for a drink. I'll be over in the corner." said Pariah to the pair laying on the floor "Oh, Ryan, I got you a new pack of smokes to replace the ones I swiped last night."
With that, he dropped the new pack onto Ryan's chest.

Watching Kashnizel snap Chrisman's neck, Pariah next walked over to him and said "Bro, come on, you know the rules." Looking down at the body at his feet, he added "Though we'll leave him for awhile before we wake him up".

The next stop was the bar, where he spoke to the bartender. "Hey, Shay'leth won't be in for her shift tonight. She's, um, in no condition to come in and work."
Noticing the ominous look in the bartender's eyes, Pariah continues "I'll have a beer, and so will everyone else in here", dropping enough credits onto the bar to more then cover a beer for everyone.
Taking his beer, Pariah Mk.231 found a free booth in the corner and sat down, waiting for someone to accept his offer and join him for a drink.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Master Kashnizel goes and drinks with Pariah.

"Oh wait I forgot someone." Master Kashnizel says as he goes and drags Andael to where they are sitting.


----------



## Mikal Darkus

" There is Beer at this place? " asks Darkus as he sat down at the bar next to Pariah and accepted the free drink. Fresh from beating a Hearld of Nurgle to death (?) and cleaning himself up. " Thought this was a battle "

Looking Pariah up and down out if the corner of his eye...

" You're not a Eldar are you?... Having bad experinces with them at the moment... Bloody Farseer... "


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"I know what you mean, f'ing Eldar" Master Kashnizel says to Mikal.


----------



## Master Andael

"Thanks for helping me Kashnizel" Andael said. When Crisman stumbled towards the bar with his neck in a awkward angle, Andael took the beer from the bar and utterly crushed the glass into crismans face. Andael ordered another beer "Bartender, another one here!"


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Hey the least I could do was break his neck." Master Kashnizel jokes with Andael and Pariah.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman had thoroughly learnt his lesson by now, and discarded the rifle. "Ok, you guys win," said chrisman "could you click my neck back into place?"
"Fine," replied Kashnizel, knocking chris's neck with a resounding click.
"Thanks," chris turned to the barkeep " a pint of emperor's finest ple.." Chris reached into his wallet. These weren't his trousers. They felt different. it didn't have his walkman in. He felt an honorifica imperialis and high ranking transport keys. These trouser belonged to his HSO. he reached deeper into the pocket. There he found his CO's wallet with £1000 in cash. "Screw that," chris said pulling out a wad of cash. He turned to face the rest of the motley group "Even though you've kicked me, punched, me wacked me with a chair, broken my kneck, slit my throat, killed my platoon, farted on my hat and even though I've done all of those things to you guys in return, DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!"


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Whooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Master Kashnizel wails in exitement while smashing an unlucky waiter's face into the ground out of sheer excitement.

Master Kashnizel spots the new daemonette serving girl and walks to her.

"So, do you uh....like big guns." he asks awkwerdlly.

"Yes." she says with a smile.

"Lets uh... go in the back for a while so I can uh..... show you how to use mine." Kashnizel says as he walks the daemon to a dark corner in the back of the bar.

"Don't wait up for me!" Kashnizel tells his friends, still sitting at the table, "I'm gonna have some fun tonight.........


----------



## chrisman 007

The drinks came. Kashnizel didn't come back for some time. "Uh, guys," began chrisman "Is kashnizel coming back?"
"Not what from what i've been hearing," replied pariah "Lucky sod."


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

This place was finally starting to become a bit more welcoming. Everyone was enjoying their drinks and the barbrawl had ended.
Joining Pariah Mk.231 at the table, Mikal Darkus gave him some funny looks, before asking him if he was Eldar.

"Yes, I am mate ... you got a problem with that?" Pariah replied, careful to hide the hint of annoyance from his voice "But I'm not from some bloody Craftworld. Commoragh born and raised."

Before Mikal could respond however, another cheer went up around the bar, Chrisman had just matched Pariah's round of free drinks. The next thing Pariah knew, Kashnizel was up and talking to the new Daemonette serving girl, before they snuck off into the shadows. Seems the lad had been paying attention last night, and was now following in Pariah's footsteps. Bless his soul.

"Uh, guys" Chrisman asked "is Kashnizel coming back?"
"Not from what I've been hearing" Pariah replied, lighting up a smoke and poking it through his rebreather before adding "Lucky sod!".
This turn of events was making him miss Shay'leth. wondering what she was up to without him, Pariah began to daydream, a slightly perverted smile hidden by his rebreather.

Snapping back to the reality of the Mangled Moose, Pariah spoke up again "He may have the gun and the stamina, but he doesn't have the mind to know how to drive her absolutely wild like I did to Shay'leth".
This received a chuckle from those still sitting around the table. The bartender however looked furious, the fact that another of his serving girls had been distracted from work touching a nerve. Clearly he'd never managed to get one of the serving girls to even touch him ...


----------



## chrisman 007

The bar was now calm, pleasant and inviting. However the lovely atmosphere was displeasing the chaos gods. They had to kick something up. They decided to send the deamonettes to start something up. A lovely deamonette girl walked up to chris. "Why hello there," said chris at the sight of the arousing daemon "Chris," the seductive daemon whispered in chris's ear "Pariah got your daughter pregnant."
"Yeah," replied chris "You do realize I don't have a daughter?"
frustrated, the deamonette walked up to pariah. "Hey!" said pariah at the sight of the lovely curvy daemon "What have you been up to Shay'leth?"
"Quite a bit, actually, but I have something very important to tell you," she whispered in his ear "Chris got your daughter pregnant."
"ha ha, very funny," replied pariah "Chris has been on cadia until this morning. And I don't have a daughter."
"I think they're trying to start the fight up again," said chris.
"You don't say," replied pariah.
"Uh-oh."
"What?"
"Kashnizel."
"THEY WHAT?!?!?!?!" shouted kashnizel from the back of the bar.
"Uh-oh."


----------



## Master Kashnizel

"Bitch are you fo real!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Kashnizel yells as he jumps from the shadows, "I'll be back in a minute." he says to the daemonette.

"I was in the middle of PURE ECSTASY, and now these bitches are coming around and messing with me?!?!?!?!" he yells in frustration.

"DIE!!!!" He screams as he jumps on a Daemonette. 

In a fit of utter rage Kashnizel tosses two daemonettes into cage hanging from the ceiling and locks the door.

"Dance daemons, dance!" he screams at them.

Next he grabs one of the other daemon's heads, and smashes it against the wall.

"You two daemons, you come with me." he says to a now giggling duo of daemonettes before grabbing a drink.


----------



## chrisman 007

"That was a close one," commented chrisman "I thought he'd turn on... whoa." Chris's eyes averted ti the now dancing deamonettes in the cage. he began to drool. "Now this is what I came to see." 
"Seconded."


----------



## Fenrakk101

There was a man at the bar who wanted to sell a freezer, but no one was in the bar. Suddenly an Antarctican appeared.

Man: So, how much would you pay for this freezer?
Antarctican(buyer): I live in Antarctica. What do I need a freezer for?
Man:What about when you find some snow you wanna keep? Just put it in the freezer!
Buyer:Or I just leave it outside
Man:Uh.....Well, it comes in different colors!
Buyer:So -
Man:Come on, we've known eachother for years! Come on, for a buddy?
Buyer:But -
Man:Think about our kids! What do they see when they wake up? White?
Buyer:I -
Man:Come on, make our kids happy!Come on! Can you really let them down? Just buy the freezer.
Buyer:Oh, your right! Here's the money.
Man:Thank you(Gives the freezer and leaves)
Buyer:What a pal -Hey, I don't have any kids! And who was that?


----------



## The Wraithlord

Once again returned to his towering and manly form, the mighty Wraithlord matches the earlier calls for drinks and buys a round for the house as well. He then turns all of his attention towards Kash's wonderful caged daemonette show, paying the attention worthy of such a fleshly feast. He knows it is only a matter of time before Chaos has its way once more and his heroic abilities will be needed again.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"Dammit!!!" mutter Pariah Mk.231 "All this talk about getting people's daughters pregnant and there's not a single daughter in sight!!!"
Looking around the bar, Pariah sighs "Maybe I can go find a Sister and get her pregnant ..."
Venting his frustration, Pariah throws his glass at the Daemonette cage, hitting a bar and shattering it, shards of glass scything through the cage and slashing the Daemonettes. A pale pink liquid which must have been their blood began to weep from the wounds, and the scent of it had an interesting effect on some of the "generic" bar patrons.
Their eyes glazed over and their jaws sagged, soon they began swaying. After maybe a minute of this, their eyes rolled back in their heads and they tensed their fingers into claws. Faster then a normal human could have acheived they turned and pounced at those patrons not affected, raking it eyes and reaching for throats.

"Oh crap" Pariah groaned "Now I've done it!"


----------



## sea dragons

nodding his thanks for the free drink from Wraithlord, sea dragon quietly sits at the bar looking at the con-man who just flogged a fridge to a poor sap. 

pariah being his usual self had to cause trouble, by attacking a daemonette. all of a sudden some hobo IG started to claw sea dragons eyes out.

"hold on, f**k off mate im trying to drink here.... ooh fine have some of this" reversing the drink he had just got for free sea dragon smashed it over the crazy IG head causeing him to slum to the floor.

picking up the body of the IG sea dragon lobbed it across the bar at Pariah.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Staggering out of the corner, sweating like hell, Master Kashnizel takes a break from the Daemonettes by starting to lay waste to all the "infected" bar patrons.


----------



## Master Andael

"Need some help, Kashnizel?" 
With that said Andael grabbed hold of a Deamonnete and shook her violently while asking: "How do we reverse this?"
"Get them drunk"


----------



## chrisman 007

"There's something in your eye," said chrisman to sea dragons "Let me just get it out for...ahhhh!" Chris flew across the bar and smashed into pariah. "For christ's sakes! THERE WAS SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE! Jeez." Chris then watched as kashnizel began to start to brawl with his fellow barmen. Peace never lasts. There was only one way to sort this out. It's time to bring out the big guns.


----------



## Pandawithissues...

Panda emerges from his rummage in the storeroom with a first aid kit. Seeing wraithlord was magically healed, and knowing he sure as hell wasn't going anywhere near chrismans arse with the plaster, the panda took his free drinks and makes his way to the corner, sitting next to the pariah.

About your attitude towards women....


----------



## Master Andael

When the panda wasn't paying attention to him, Andael took a piece of glass and shaved the pandas back without it knowing.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau Chaotix bursts out the floor boards..and kicks chrisman while he is on the floor. Then sits with panda and pariah. Then gets mega drunk...

-Olek.


----------



## Master Andael

The moose repaired the broke floorboards and a lamp hanging on the roof fell down on the head of Tau Chaotix because he broke the moose.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chrisman suddenly relised he was on the floor (Was I?) with a stabbing pain in his backside. "THAT'S IT!" he shouted "I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE RULES ANYMORE! I'M GETTING MY SHOTGUN BACK!"


----------



## thomas2

The once lurking Thomas2, in the guise of a dreaded Terror Marine, chaos elements once of the Terramarines, jumps out at chrisman in a typically scary fashion, from behind a unturned table, and breaks the table on chrismans head.
"That, my friend, is how I deal with breaking the rules." he says before sitting down and ordering a drink.


----------



## Sword Slasher

thomas2 ordered the last beer so Sword Slasher, rather stroppily, bashed thomas2's head on the counter and flipped him on to other random bar patrons so he had the final drink.


----------



## thomas2

Hauling him self off the floor Thomas2 smashes Sword Slashers head into the very drink he nicked several times, before tipping him over the bar and quietly sitting down, watching for attempts at revenge.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau Chaotix used the awesome phsyker powers and stoped the lamp from falling, instead it hit chrisman, _Poor Chrisman thought Tau Chaotix, he seems to be the one attracting all the attacks _

-Olek.


----------



## Pandawithissues...

Panda's back felt rather cold all of a sudden...


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Shaking his head to clear his mind of the fact Chrisman had just been thrown at him, the Guardsman's private bits hitting him in the face, Pariah Mk.231 took in the carnage around the bar. Looked like Chaos had got it's way again and Pariah had a sneaking suspicion it was his fault.

Pushing Chrisman of him, Pariah suddenly noticed that the giant Panda was sitting next to him and asking him about his views about women.
"What can I say? I love the ladies ... especially if they've got sado-masacistic tendancies!" Pariah replied with a wink. "Excuse me a moment."

Pariah had just seen a rather Chaotic looking Tau damage the Moose, then deflect punishment onto Chrisman, after already kicking him. Actually, it wasn't hard to miss the Tau, he'd had the nerve to sit with Pariah after attacking one of his drinking friends.
Taking a coil of rope from under his coat, Pariah tied a noose a noose and threw it over one of the rafters and snared the Tau around the chest. Hoisting the Tau ino the air, Pariah secured the rope to Panda's leg, who was now distracted trying to figure out who'd shaved his back.

"You were saying?" Pariah Mk.231 asked, the Panda turning back to him, now trying to figure out why he had a Tau tied to his leg.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 stares in bewilderment as a Tau is lassoed, and tied to a shaved panda. He decides to sit back and enjoy the show, he was in no mood to get into a brawl, he hadn't had a drink!


----------



## Dirge Eterna

Dirge Eterna sips a drink quietly in the corner, content to watch the massive fight.


----------



## chrisman 007

There was a lot of stabbing pain across chrisman's back. He had once again learnt his lesson. "I am putting the shotgun down," said chrisman "Just let me fire one round." although chrisman only meant to fire just out the window, he had been beaten up so much that the recoil of the shotgun caused the shot to hit the roof. The roof shook, and collapsed on top of Thomas2. The ricochet hit Tau Choatix hanging rope, causing him to fall. With a loud smash, Chaotix smashed through the floor boards into the basement "Oops," said chris, trying to hide his spreading smile "Sorry."


----------



## Sword Slasher

Dazed from the roof's collape, Sword Slasher smashed a bottle on the counter and lunged for Chrisman, with deadly intent. But, alas, Slash was drunk and so missed competely and landed head first in the waste paper bin!


----------



## Pandawithissues...

Irritated by the weight of the tau thing now attatched to his leg, the panda pulled off pariah's breathmask. "Don't mind me son" , and removed one of pariah's needle teeth.
"I'll have it back in less time than it takes you to abuse a daemonette"

Panda used the tooth to slice the bonds attatching the crappy tau to his leg, booted the thing across the room, sending all and sundry flying, and jammed the tooth back into pariahs bleeding gum.

Pointy end first.

The two odd companions then continued to enjoy their drinks and the discussion on the merits of daemonettes in the sack continued...


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau Chatoix, dazed from the fall into the basment. Thought he was Seeing angels, infact they where actually just possesed CSM, Tau knew this but decided he didn't actually care. the flying angel chaos marine things lifted him back through the hole he has fell through. Tau was angry now. the first person he say was Chrisman. "Why you little!!" and began to strangle him.

-Olek.


----------



## Sword Slasher

Sword Slasher regained consciousness inside the bin, pulled his head out and tried to join Panda & Pariah in thier drinking. He then realised that the didn't want company, when a massive fist was launched into his helmet coveded face. He was unconscious AGAIN!!!!


----------



## Tau Chaotix

After stragling Chrisman Tau Chaotix decided to rip of Sword Slashers helmet and kick him repeatedly in the face.

-Olek.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 breaks his way out of the wreckage of the roof, and looks for Chrisman. Seeing him already being strangled, he decides to join in and starts punching Chrisman, before getting bored and grabbing both chrismans and the Taus abandoned drinks, and he downs them both.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Upon seeing Thomas2 drinking his drink, Tau moved on and unleashed his fury on Thomas2, beating him to the ground then kicking him.

-Olek.


----------



## Smeady

Smeady walked in met by a bar stool. Not a nice greeting. Smeady weaved aroung Tau chaotix as he tried to smack him. Smeady had a guiness and all looked at him how dare he not join the brawl. Smeady broke the scilence by shashing some spirits on Sword Slasher.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

_Aha a new victim, and his drinking irish stuff!_ thought Tau Chaotix, tau picked up many glasses, smashed half of them and threw them at Smeady. Going for a long ranged attack this time rather. Only one of the 5 glasses thrown hit smeady, and that got him in the throat. Now that Smeady was injured Tau charged in to him knocking him over the bar into the bottles of spirits. these spiits poored into smeady's open wounds.

-Olek.


----------



## thomas2

Upset at the Tau's treatment of him, Thomas2 offers a deal of alliance to Smeady, and offered him the Tau, who Thomas2 just threw to land next to him, after kicking him himself.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau finnaly decides to end his rampage, he was only trying to apease Khorne 
"truce?" asks Tau


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 cautiously offered a hand out to the Tau, ready to flip him over his shoulder if he tried anything.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau is upset by the coutuion and distrust Thomas2 shows him, but he takes his hand and shakes it.

-Olek.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Crushing the last corrupted patron's head, Master Kashnizel goes and sits back down with Pariah, Andael, Sea Dragon, I dont know who else but, yeah.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

suddenly all the tables turn into dragons...


----------



## Mikal Darkus

Darkus finally awakes up from under the bar with a crushing head ache.

Not quite remembering what happened... something to do with flying daemonettes hitting his head... " Bloody Slan Bitches "

Poking his head above the bar to see a whole army of new comers had started fighting again. " Finally " Darkus grinned " More BLOOD "

Grabbing a bottle of _Jagermiester_ and downing it in a few secs and razing the bottle over his head and charged into the fray.
" BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD "
But the Dark Gods of Chaos are fickle in their own way...

Darkus's first step was on an rather beaten up Chrisman and not all the INV saves could save him from a rather ungraceful faceplant on the floor!

" ???? Who in KHORNE's name put that there??? Bloody Imperial Guard, Dieing all the time, lying on the floor and tripping me up "

Darkus once again raised himself from the floor, wiping all the flith off his armour and decided to find his routine who are still hiding in the half destroyed fort.


----------



## Master Andael

"Hey, look at that Tau. He tries to fight with the tables" Andael pointed out to Kashnizel.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

Tau chaotix get a broken bottle and attacks the Table-dragon..things. He slices ones head off and holds it up in victory!

-Olek.


----------



## Sword Slasher

Sword Slasher becomes consciousness again, realises that the tables arn't what they were, chops a tail of one of the dragons and knocks the triumphant Chaotix of his victim to claim the glory!


----------



## Tau Chaotix

"Grr, you won't like me when i'm on another blood lust!!!!!!" Screems Tau Chaotix at Slasher. and attacks him for the second time taking im down and slashing him with broken bottles.


----------



## Sword Slasher

But... Tau is so drunk he avarted his rage to the unfortunate Andael who was reading the booze menu, peacefully.


----------



## Smeady

Smeady awoke with Sword Slasher crying in the cornner. Smeady cliped him over the ear and SS punched Smeady. Smeady knee' d him and chucked him into the waste paper bin where he belongs.


----------



## Smeady

Smeady then ran to the bar but spilt some booze but before he knew it, Tau Chaotix hand liked it up (the booze hound!). So Smeady took to the matter of bar stools connecting with Andael's head rapidly, but there was a problem, Smeady was in "Toy's are us". He must of been KO'ed and dumped by Darkus.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael grabbed hold of Tau chaotix arm, but the he couldn't stop Chaotix from running into him.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

The glass went all the way through Andaels stomach.

-Olek.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

After conversing with Panda for awhile, Pariah Mk.231 decided this wasn't working at all. Removing his mask, he pulled the tooth Panda had "borrowed" out and jammed it back in the way it sould be.
"Much better" sighed Pariah.

Catching sight of Tau putting a shard of glass through Andael's stomach, and all the glasses and bottles he had smashed, Pariah decided it was time for Tau to have a "Time Out".
"Excuse me Panda, I'll be right back." Pariah said, leaving the table to sneak up behind Tau.
With Andael still holding his arm, Pariah proceeded to "pants" the trouble-making blue alien. "Yes folks, it IS true what they say, EVERYTHING about a Tau is small!!!" Pariah announced to the bar patrons, who all stopped what they were doing to point and laugh at the Tau.
With so much attention being focussed on the reason why Tau favour big guns as compensation, Tau Chaotix began to cry and shuffled as fast as the pants around his ankles would allow towards the kitchen door.
Just as he stepped through the door, Jacobite lashed out with his frying pan, knocking the midget alien back through the door to land unconscious on the floor, provoking another outburst of hysterical laughter.

"That should teach him for destroying Moose property" Pariah chuckled as he returned to his table, catching sight of a smile forming on the bartender's face out of the corner of his eye.


----------



## sea dragons

looking up from his drink sea dragon, finds that Chrisman wasn't trying to hurt him. seeing the beating the poor bloke was getting. sea dragon grabs Chrisman by his flak jacket and drags him to the bar.

"sorry about that mate, and hands him 2 triple vodka's. get those down ya and you will be fine"

looking round he realises for the first time that the tables have turned into dragons.

"that crazy tau what the hell has he done, here boy, here boy". starting to laugh at the tau because he has a small *****, then almost crying as the alien was hit with a pan.

one of the dragons sits next to sea dragon with its head on sea dragons knee. on which sea dragon started scratch its head.


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

hearing a loud commotion across the street, OXC peered in through the doors, a dull light reflecting off his deep black armour. seeing a fight inside, he burst into the pub, grabbed the nearest being, which happend to be a small tau figure, a truly *small* tau figure and threw him full strength across the room. the small figure struck an imperial guardsman square in the back of the head. flexing his bionic arm, he strutted across the room and found the guardsman spralled on the floor, a name printed across the back of his flak armour. 

"Chrisman"


----------



## Master Andael

Andael barfing up glass asked "Is there a doctor in the room? Anybody?"


----------



## sea dragons

A huge black figure that was OXC. had just hurled the tau across the bar.

patting the dragon on the head that was sitting by his side sea dragon shouts

"wwoohhhoo, nice toss. and hands OXC a pint of _emperors finest_


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"I have a frend who's in the 'medical profession' if that helps?" Pariah Mk.231 said to Andael.


----------



## Sword Slasher

'So do I,' Slash answered, 'he peforms decapitations for a very reasonable price'


----------



## chrisman 007

"Huzzar, Huzzar, Hu bloody zar," siad chrisman, getting up from the floor yet again "What is it with this place? I always seem to end up on the BLOODY FLOOR!!!!" suddenly he relised he was in the back of the bar with 2 triple vodkas with a note by them "Sorry mate, sea dragons." "Thank you!" said chrisman downing the drinks in 4 seconds flat "Now to show you the imperial guard way of war!!!!" Chris scanned around for a suitable target. Tau Chaotix wasn't going anywhere fast. Perfect. Chris picked up his Vox caster and shouted "Requestibng mortar strike at these coordinates," into it. The operator replied at the other end "Coordinates recieved, strike is INBOUND." Tau slowly struggled to his feet, only to have 6 high explosive shells land on him "HAHA!" LAughed chris watching as the shells ripped through Tau "Eat that!" suddenly a peice of plaster fell on chris's head. When he got his feet, th crater was gone.


----------



## sea dragons

diving over the bar taking cover from the inbound morter shells, sea dragon happens to hit the bar tender round the head.

"ooops sorry mate"

grabing an arm full of beer bottles sea dragon starts lobing them round the bar getting a rather good hit on Pander right between the eyes. Andael who has been spitting glass for a while now gets a mouth full as a bottle smashes on his face, he starts screaming as his flesh burns.
looking at the bottle sea dragon notes that the lable say Tyranid blood.

"Tyranid who in the emperors name would drink this, oh well makes for good asid grenades" and chucks two at S. Slasher.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

The tides had turned on TC, all of a sudden everyone wanted revenge. He pulled his trousers back up and activated his battlesuit that was parked outside, infortuantely it didn't have guns on it anymore, but still. TC jumped inside it and began his rampage a fresh. First to get a beating was Pariah, for he had pulled down TC's pants. TC activated his jet packs and flew feet first into Pariah knocking him cold, then TC ripped of his breather mask and ripped it to pieces then smashed all his teeth out.
Next to be atked was Chrisman, becasue his name is Chris...And he is a guardsman. TC puched him square in the face, his human features became unrecognisable and the mush that was his face, blood poured from every place it was possible to bleed in.

-Olek.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 suddenly got very angry at the tau.
"You bloody trying to kill us all? Jet packs in here, some of these drinks are pretty damn flammable, and you're putting flames near them?"
He marches up, grabs the suits leg, hurls around the tau (unfortunately with chris still attached to his fist) at the door, then walks up, opens the door and punches the jet pack, causing it and its owner to fly out suddenly.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

WHat you thought was me randomly flying out, was me seeing a random spcae marine walking up to the pub, and he flew off to beathim up. after nailing him he flew back in.
"Thomas2, these arnt flames, they iz antri grav init."


----------



## thomas2

"Well get yourself a proper jump pack then you anti-grav user, real men use flames!"
Says Thomas2, wondering how the hell he mistook it for flames, and confusing the tau with a random Space Marine.
"And just so you know the only reason I thought it used flames is as my bionic eye is playing up!"


----------



## sea dragons

sea dragon gets up from behind the bar and goes to stand next to Thomas2.

"thank the emperor, hes gone. causing a right lot of trouble that one was!!!"

handing Thomas2 a bottle of Tyranid blood "here mate try this really burns on the way down, i mean look at andael's face"


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"This is going to be fun" Pariah Mk.231 said, the malice obvious in his voice. 
Climbing to his feet, Pariah scooped up his teeth and put them back in his mouth. Rolling his jaw for a few seconds, Pariah then grinned, revealing all his teeth back in their rightful place. 
Looking to the roof, Pariah said "Hey Moose, pretty sure that Battle Suit counts as a weapon, and it was brought in from outside".
Waiting a few seconds, reality began to warp as the Mangled Moose set things right. First, the battle suit exploded, the blast contained within a force bubble. Next, the mortar shells reformed and were flung directly out the window and back into the artillery position they'd come from, killing the offenders.
And finally, as a reward for bringing this infraction to light, the Mangled Moose returned Pariah Mk.231's mask to it's original form. In fact, it turned out looking better than it had before.

"And that folks, is what happens when you try to bring weapons into the Moose." Pariah announced "The Moose is fine with violent bar fights, but it hates those that try to gain an unfair advantage!!!"
Sitting back at his table, Pariah Mk.231 called out to Sea Dragon "Yo, pass me a bottle of that 'Nid blood, I've got a killer thirst!"


----------



## Tau Chaotix

"Ah crap ma suit. YOU ruined it BIACH! oh well, i give up :cray: i cant do this any more" Cried TC "i only do this becase my parents beat me!"

-Olek.


----------



## Master Kashnizel

Seeing as tau Chaotix is crying like a baby, Master kashnizel grabs a chair and throws it at his head.

"Where is everyone, the only people I have seen around here are you and a few noobs to this bar?" Master Kashnizel asks Pariah.

"Well it doesn't matter now 'cus I am buying rounds on the house!" Kashnizel yells to everyone in the bar.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

TC slits his wrists like an emo then inject heroine and then drinks all the vodka the bar has got, then goes to sleep on the floor.


----------



## sea dragons

Sea dragon turns round to find out who shouted his name to find Pariah waveing like a mad man. walking over to pariah's table, sea dragon settles in for a long night of drinking. handing several bottles of nids blood to Pariah and M. kashnizel.

"enjoy boys" and downed the rest of the open one in his hands and cracks another one open on Tau's helmet.

"i wonder who's going to turn up next"


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

recovering from TC's blow, OXC staggered up, hearing the hydraulics in his power armour, and sat down at the bar and grabbed a bottle of Tyranid Blood.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Hang about, why am I on the floor," said Chrisman, getting up from Tau's reeling blow "Wait a second, I'M ALWAYS ON THE BLOODY FLOOR!" Chris staggered up and looked in the bottomless pocket of his HSO. Ah, here it was: a PDA with the russian mafia black market. "Lets see," said chris, scrolling down the list "baggage car: err, no. Sniper drop: err, roof will be a probably be a problem. Aha, he we go: strategic missile strike. Muhahaha! Here Tau, here boy!" Tau sat there, asleep on the floor after a heroin overdose."perfect, a still target," he said pointing the PDA at Tau's motionless body. The PDA let out a little beep beep beep, and chris could he a satisfying distant wooshing getting closer to the bar.

EDIT: thanks for the sig Tau, sorry for blowing you up!


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

hearing a badly familiar sound, OXC stuck his head out the door to see what was coming. to his horror it was a missile. "INCOMING!!!" he dove behind the counter of the bar and made himself as is possible for a space marine, which isnt very small at all.


----------



## thomas2

Thomas2 dived behind a table at the cry of "INCOMING!!!", and chucked his bottle of acid blood, helpfully given to him by sea dragons, at the guardsman, who once again broke the rules by calling in support. This knocked chris back over, and melted his PDA.


----------



## sea dragons

Seeing that OXC and thomas2 had dived behind the bar, sea dragon followed just as the missile crashed through the window. 

"holy f********K, not again. ive been behind the bar 2 times now because of that B****RD"

ducking for cover sea dragon felt the whole pub shake with the impact of the missile.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"Nothing can be used that wouldn't normally be found in a traditional bar. i.e. No lasers, guns or such like."

Quoting the rules there guys, stop breaking them with battlesuits and airstrikes and such.


----------



## Tau Chaotix

i didnt put wepoans on the battlesuit, its sorta standard armor for tau isnt it,(when they actualy use armour)

and chris did it twice now!


----------



## thomas2

(Slightly more than twice for Chris... I do have to say a Crisis suit is armour, not a weapon so if it isn't allowed no armour should, and other armour has been allowed the whole way through.)


> He unslung his lasgun, discovered it was empty so he ran amongst the warring, errr, things, using his lasgun as a club knocking all that stood before him





> At this current moment in time a sperm whale was called into exsistance above the bar.





> Chris whipped out out his bolt pistol





> and got the shotgun out the case. "MUHAHAHAHA!" shouted chrisman maniacally "THOUGHT YOU GOT RID OF ME THEN? HA!" chris pumped the shotgun and aimed at Ryan





> Basilisks! OPEN FIRE!"





> I'M GETTING MY SHOTGUN BACK!"





> Requestibng mortar strike at these coordinates,"





> Aha, he we go: strategic missile strike. Muhahaha! Here Tau, here boy!"


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Ok, I'll accept that the battlesuit is armour, but is it really going to fit in a bar?


Feeling the tremors of the prematurally detonating airstrike, Pariah Mk.231 steadied himself, but was unable to save his bottle of Tyranid blood as it tipped over on the table. Burning a hole through the wood it fell through to the floor and shattered.
"Khaine-Dammit!!! I only got one sip of that!!!" swore Pariah.


----------



## sea dragons

poking his head above the bar Sea dragon, finds that the bar hasn't exploded 

"thank the emperor"

looking down at the last 3 bottles of nids blood that were in his arms.

"if had got this s**t on my amour"

kracking open another bottle sea dragon wonders back over to an empty table and sat down taking a large swig from the bottle. pain crossed his face as the nids blood burned on its way down.

"aahh thats the good stuff"


----------



## chrisman 007

You guy's win. Sorry.


----------



## chrisman 007

"NO!" said chris, as the £2000 PDA melted in his hand "my boss is gonna kill me!" Chris now faced a dilemma. He had no support. He was on his own. He was...well....screwed. "So, you want old fashioned fightin' eh?" said chris, picking up a barstool "Then so be it!!" Chris charged at the nearest person, which just happened to be thomas2. He miscalculated the charge, missed, tripped over and slammed straight through the wall. Chris fell down a hidden set of stairs, into what seemed like a river of cream cheese where 4 purple slaaneshi rabbit were eating sandwiches in an upside down umbrella. "What the..." chris said before the rabbits called in more rabbits. The rabbits began to mass around chris, their mouths foaming. "Oh huzzar, huzzar," said chris as the rabbits began to charge.

A few moments later, the barfighters heard a loud scream coming from the basement, followed by chris running back out, with a dozen rabbits clawing onto him and god knows how many running up the stairs

(hey, I know it ain't a barfight weapon, but I'm not using it as a weapon, I just thought it would be a random thing to add to the story).


----------



## thomas2

The purple rabbits confuse thomas2, but he's comforted by the familiar sight of a guardsman running.
"Well a barfight's a barfight, even if they are rabbits. Lets go get them!" he says, and grabs some tyranid blood and hurls it towards chris and the rabbits, with a cry of "Duck!", despite not caring if chris got hit.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

"Purple rabbits, huh?!" Pariah Mk.231 voiced quizically "What the hell is going on now?!"
Sliding out from behind his table, Pariah began picking up bunnies and kicking them AFL style at other bar patrons.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris ducked as he saw the nid blood, which managed to hit a number of the rabbits. "Thank you!" said chris, seeing the rabbits melt. "Now, where was I..."


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

OXC stood up from behind the bar and promptly stood on some purple bunnies. they tried to attack him, but his armour was just to thick. ripping a plank of wood from the wall he promptly started to practice his baseball with the bunnies.


----------



## chrisman 007

Suddenly, the rabbits disappeared in a puff of purple pink smoke. chris deicided there was only one way to win this fight: get some friends. "Free drinks on the house!" shouted chris, getting a wad of cash out of his bosses wallet! Chris knew that this peace would last for a while, but everyone knew that everything would return to normal...


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 watches Chrisman closely, as surely this has to be some kind of trick. Looking at the time, Pariah swears. It's would have been several days on the outside since he last saw Shay'leth.
"Right, I'm out of here again, got a Daemonette to satisfy!!!" Pariah Mk.231 shouted as he ran out the door.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris wondered why everyone seemed to be acting suspicious around his offer of free drinks. Sure, it was a form of bribery, but, really who would know? He now had time to formulate a plan whilst everyone was drinking. But, what kind of plan? Aha, chris had exactly the right thing...


----------



## sea dragons

having had enought Sea dragon desided to go home, have an S.S.S. change into some fresh power amour. bit of a kip and come back tomoz.

"Adios mates" leging it from the bunnies that were trying to bite his banger and mash.


----------



## Vaz

Coming in late, Vaz walked in, the shiny armour on his torso glinting the reflection of flaming mass of blazing vodkat held in the hand of a regular. Knocking the sots hand, he deftly caught the cup, and downed the burning liquid in one. With a smile, he punched the drunk back into the melee, before throwing the shatterproof into the brawl, and lept with a terror inspiring "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee" into the crowd...


----------



## chrisman 007

"How come everyone has power armour and I don't?" said chris as the new comer walked in.


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

"because we can" replied OXC before promptly picking the newcomer up and tossing his power-armoured form across the room. "That'll fix his armours shiny-ness"


----------



## Master Andael

Andael woke up from a nightmare on the ground of the Mangled Moose. He saw purple bunnies attacking guardsmen. Andael stood up, his stomach wound fully healed. _Being a marine had its advantages_. Seeing OXC charging a very shiny character in the door he wondered who would win. " Twenty bugs on the shiny guy!" he shouted.


----------



## Vaz

Vaz picked himself up from the ruins of the half demolished bar, taking advantage of the free keg of beer exposed from his fall to knock it back and have a drink. Scrunching up the Adamantium can as if it were so much aluminium, he prepared to drop the metal ball into the melee, when all of a sudden, in front of his foot appeared a drooling hormagaunt, clearly inebriated from an early drinking session. Unable to stop his foot, the metal boot connected with a sickening thud, sending the bug back into swirling brawl.

Doubling over with helpless laughter, Vaz didn't notice the deadly purple cockroaches following him...


----------



## chrisman 007

"Ooh, more purple stuff!" said chris, watching the cockroaches scuttle into Vaz's ears.


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

seeing the purplness start to cover Vaz, OXC ran over to him, and being a good foot above your average space marine, promptly picked him up, shook the roaches off before using Vaz's head as a bug masher. After satisfying his need to kill, he put Vaz down on a chair and offered him a drink.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael was disapointed. He saw a chance to win some money and nobody replied to his bet. He walked over to the bar and hit OXC on his head with one of the guardsmen he picked up on his way to the bar.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Hey! Put me down!" said chris as andael picked him up "What are you doing. Wait, no, NO! Don't! AHHHHHHH!!! OWW!!" Chris felt his face been smashed into the rather powerful looking OXC. "Oww," said chris, rubbing his now rather crooked nose "Look, if you told us the bet again except a bit louder then we'd GIVE A DAMN!!!!" shouted chris in Andael face "Now, TELL US THE BLOODY BET, andael."


----------



## demon lord345

chrisman 007 said:


> "How come everyone has power armour and I don't?" said chris as the new comer walked in.


because we are worth it runt yelled abarax:angry:


----------



## The Deadman

And the The Deadman had to order a pint of the Emporers finest and threw it at Abarax and it hit him in the back of the head knocking him out cold


----------



## chrisman 007

"Yeah, sure, whatever," said chris, picking up a chair "Just stay still." Chris raised the chair, smashed it on Abarax's head. "Ha! he ain't going nowhere," as the little purple bugs scuttled into Abarax's ear.


----------



## demon lord345

"oy" abarax shouted picking up the nearest table and hurling it at chris " take that runt" he yelled back at the wounded man on the floor.


----------



## demon lord345

The Deadman said:


> And the The Deadman had to order a pint of the Emporers finest and threw it at Abarax and it hit him in the back of the head knocking him out cold


Heya buddy don't bother with worthless over their he's a tramp" he said to the deadman


----------



## chrisman 007

"Whoa!" said chris ducking. Luckily, the table missed, and hit Deadman in the face. "Haha! Take that!" said chris, watching Deadman live up to his name.


----------



## demon lord345

"ruddy hell man" the daemon yelled above the bar brawl


----------



## The Deadman

Abarax threw the table and chrisman 007 ducked to avoid it and it hit The Deadman square in the eyes "You stupid man! i can't belive you did that you are so dead!" said The Deadman and with that he order 3 pints of the same drink and walked up to Abarax and hit him right in the face knocking him uncocious.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris ordered another pint of emperor finest and watched Deadman and Abarax wack each other with a variety of bar items. "Ah, this is the life," chris said to himself, sipping more beer as Deadman wacked abarax.


----------



## demon lord345

"dude captain drunk is not fight anymore" abarax said to deadman "get him" and hurled yet another table ant Chris


----------



## The Deadman

And then The Deadman got hit so hard that he went flying and he flew into chrisman 007 making him sooooo mad he put abarax in hospital


----------



## chrisman 007

"Oh no, not again," said chris diving out of the way of the table, which luckily narrowly missed "have I done anything to you?"


----------



## demon lord345

"oi runt stop bloody dodging the tables" as he hit the barkeep in the head


----------



## chrisman 007

"I'd rather not," said chris dodging another table "Do you run out of tables?"


----------



## demon lord345

"nah i could never run out of tables you idiot" roaring at him


----------



## The Deadman

"Actually yes you have, you've been watching us fight and yet you haven't joined in once. So we're now going to chase you until you get involved." said The Deadman and with that both Abarax and The Deadman started chasing chrisman 007.


----------



## demon lord345

"heh, heh boy i am angry" said abarax


----------



## The Deadman

Abarax then tried a sneak attack on The Deadmanbut The Deadmans reactions were to fast


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris, seeing the oncoming threat, stuck out his leg and saw the both of them fly into the air and smash into the back of the bar "Hehehe!"


----------



## Vaz

Vaz was just settling down to clear his head after someone pushed his head a couple of dozen times into the floor. Surely they were only did that by accident. They can't have dared to do that to the true Emperor's Finest, one who has served since before the Great Crusade? Right then. He decided. Time to crush some nuts. Ordering some Peanuts, he started throwing peanuts at Chris, who turned in time to see a brown bullet speeding towards him, getting it stuck in his nostril...


----------



## sea dragons

having had a few days off after the last time he had been in to the mangled moose (time moves slower in the pub for some reason acording to someone) sea dragon smashed the door in after seeing the pounding chris was getting.

"oy dont pick on the little guy"

picking up the smashed door sea dragon smashed it over Vaz's head. 

"take that B***H"

Just as deadman dodged Abarax's attack, he happen to walk right in to sea dragons path.

"eat this, heretic"

smashing his knee in to deadman's ball's, then smashed his fist into deadmans face as deadman bent over in pain. leaving deadman on the floor crying for his mama, sea dragon looked around for his next victim.


----------



## Vaz

Feeling a tap on his, Vaz soon saw a few splinters showering around him, then a bronze door knob landed in his packet of KP salted peanuts. Shrugging, he swallowed the entire pack, knob, peanut, salt and plastic packet in one. Getting bored, he thought of something to liven it up. Seeing a woman girl leaving the back room, adjusting her leather bodyglove, he had an idea. Slipping into the room, he saw the headless body of a drunk who'd attacked the woman. Tapping the cheek, saying "Unlucky old boy", he rumaged in the pockets, bringing out a packet of KY Jelly. Grinning an evil grin, Vaz entered into the main room...


----------



## chrisman 007

"Who you callin' little?" said chris to sea dragons. Chris promptly noticed that sea dragons was 8 ft tall, and that he'd just saved him from a fate worse than being called little. "Thanks," said chris looking up to sea dragons. 

Seeing that deadman was on the floor crying, and abarax was watching deadman squirm, chris thought it was yet another good time to get a beer and watch the fight.

After seeing enough of the so called "fight" (A.K.A: watching deadman squirm), chris watched Vaz go in the back room, following a rather attractive lady, "Oh, somethings gonna happen tonight," said chris. Instead, Vas emerged with some jelly. chris shrugged and turned back to watch deadman


----------



## The Deadman

Then deadman got up and saw that chris was watching him and decided to buy 3 pints of Emperors Finest. And instead of drinking 1 pint he chucked it right in chris's face and gave the other 2 pints to abarax and sea dragons. Then chris said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! YOU JUST THREW 1 WHOLE PINT OF EMPORERS FINEST OVER ME AND GAVE THE OTHER 2 TO ABARAX AND SEA DRAGONS! IN THE NAME OF THE MIGHTY EMPORER; I SWEAR BLIND I WILL KILL YOU!"


----------



## demon lord345

The Deadman said:


> Then deadman got up and saw that chris was watching him and decided to buy 3 pints of Emperors Finest. And instead of drinking 1 pint he chucked it right in chris's face and gave the other 2 pints to abarax and sea dragons. Then chris said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! YOU JUST THREW 1 WHOLE PINT OF EMPORERS FINEST OVER ME AND GAVE THE OTHER 2 TO ABARAX AND SEA DRAGONS! IN THE NAME OF THE MIGHTY EMPORER; I SWEAR BLIND I WILL KILL YOU!"


"thanks buddy" abarax said to the deadman "excuse me a minute while i deal with the bloody runt, IN KHORNE'S BLOODY NAME YOU ARE GOING DOWN CHRIS!"


----------



## Sword Slasher

demon lord345 charged at chrisman but Slash stumbled towards the bear laden bar, but he stepped in front of the rampaging demon causing both of them to land in a dazed pile on the floor. Chrisman thanked Slash by smashing numerous bottles on his head. The barman became so anoyed that he whacked Chrisman with his chair. Chrisman joined the pile of bodies


----------



## demon lord345

"huh,huh" abarax laughed, "foolish runt got himself hurt" he laughed again whacking slasher to his knees.


----------



## The Deadman

And while all that was happening The Deadman was laughing at all of them and when he saw that demon lord345 was up he grabbed a bottle and threw it at demon lord345. Demon lord345 saw it coming and he ducked and the bottle flew through the air to hit the barman on the back of the head kocking him unconcious.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael seeing the fight walked to the pile of bodies and yelled in crismans ear: " Twenty bugs on slasher!" I hope somebody takes my bet this time, he thought. He pulled slasher out of the pile to give him an (unfair) avantage.


----------



## Sword Slasher

Slash took Andael's leg-yanking as a sign of aggresion and flailed out of the dark angels' grip. He then wrenched off the helmet from demon lord345, forced it on the head of Andael (backwards) and went to finish his drink.

This is what he would have liked to happen if the barman hadn't stepped on Slashers throught - causing him to fall unconscious - whilst trying to get revenge for Dreadman's bottle throwing!


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

having felt a guardsman smashed against the back of his head, OXC stood up to his full stretch. Matching a terminator in height, OXC overshadowed everyone in the bar. picking up a table that had been recently thrown, he threw it in such a way that it hit abarax, chrisman and deadman all in one go, collecting them and pinning them against the wall.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Oh, not again," said chrisman being pinned to the wall. Suddenly chris had a plan. Most men had a weakness, and being in an elevated position chris could exploit it. Chris wondered weather power armour protected his crotch. chris gave an almighty kick in the groin of OXC. "AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed OXC as chris's boot connected with his groin. OXC collapsed to the floor, dropping Chris, Deadman and Abarax. "Alright," said chris to the other two "How about an alliance...."


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

OXC stumbled up from on the floor, nursing his now very sore groin. sitting on the barstool he ordered a heavy drink.


----------



## The Deadman

And got so drunk that he couldn't walk in a straight line


----------



## chrisman 007

Seeing OXC stumbling around in a very curvy fashion, chris ordered some popcorn and watched OXC shout at people, throw up and generally act very, very drunk.


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman joined him when suddenly the bartender hit both of them right round the head with 2 bottles.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy walks in. Looks round shakes his head and walks over to the bar.Sitting down he orders a PanGlagtic GargleBlaster drinks it and starts to sizzle gently


----------



## The Deadman

Then Deadman gets back up orders another 4 drinks and smashes 1 over the bartender's head, 1 over Fatboy's head, 1 over Chris's head and drinks the other one whilst taking 1 last look at the carnage before leaving.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy with blood poring down his face calmly order another 'Blaster walks over to Deadman pores it over his head and laughs as Deadmans face starts to melt :laugh:


----------



## The Deadman

But Deadman was smart and was wearing an invisible mask so his head looked like it was melting but it wasn't. Deadman then saw that there was half a bottle left in Fatboy's hand and said "Take this!" And with that he poured the rest of the bottle over Fatboy's head and left the pub.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy enjoyed the new weight loss techneque and started to look round for a new fight to join in as a bottle came flying towards his head.Ducking the bottle he looked round to see who threw it....


----------



## The Deadman

The person who had threw it was Deadman through the window. He just thought he would make sure they remebered who he was for the next time he came in.


----------



## fatboy955

adds Deadman to THE LIST


----------



## The Deadman

But then Chris took Deadman's name off the list


----------



## fatboy955

Fatman goes to kitchen to find food and weapons


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris adds Fatboy's name to THE LIST


----------



## Ordo Xeno Commander

OXC stands up, asks WTF IS THE LIST and promptly hits the nearest person over the head, who happened to be Fatboy. hearing a satisfying thump as fatboy hit the ground, OXC stumbled over and lay in the corner for awhile.


----------



## The Deadman

And whilst OXC was lying in the corner Deadman came back in and saw that Fatboy was out cold, OXCwas still drunk in the corner and the only person who had no problem was Chris. So Deadman went over to Chris and said, "what happened here? Someone got knocked out or something."
"Yes, Fatboy, the bartender and you" replied Chris.
"But I'm still concious and not -." Then Chris hit Deadman with a bottle.


----------



## sea dragons

upon hearing there was a list going round that didn't have his name on it Sea Dragon got very pissed off. picking up chris and started slamming the poor IG in the unconcious form of deadman. with blood streaming from his face chris found himself flying through the air only to crash in to OXC.

grabing the bartender and lifting off the ground proceaded to lob the bloke at fatboy. 

"right now for a drink"

grabing a bottle of Emperors finest sead dragon started looking for a bottle opener.

"by the emperor where the hell is it, ok forget it"

grabing deadman sea dragon placed the bottle top between deadmans teeth. and gave a sharp but powerful stamp with his boot on the back of his head smashing the top of the bottle and several of deadmans teeth too.

sea dragon righted a fallen chair and sat down taking a swig from the bottle.


----------



## demon lord345

abarax launched himself at sea dragons "aaaaargh" he yelled IN KHORNES BLOODY NAME(again!) I WILL SMITE YOU RUNT!"


----------



## Master Andael

Andael was trying to get this "freakin helmet" off of his head. He started pulling as hard as he could, but the helm only turned so the visor turned to his right ear.


----------



## chrisman 007

Chris groaned and rubbed his bleeding nose "Ow, why do I always end up being used as a human battering post?"


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy does NOT add Sea Dragon to THE LIST as he provided him with fast food .He then opens a bottle of the Emperor's Finest and sits down next to sea Dragon.Smashes the bottle after drinking the contents and slashes Abarax across the face. Offers Sea Dragon a Bottle of Emperor's Finest and downs another himself


----------



## chrisman 007

Seeing the potential of an alliance between SD and Fatty, chris had to make an alliance of himself. Chris picked up the knocked out form of deadman and brushed the glass of his lifeless figure. "WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted into deadmans ear. He promptly woke up. "It was him that threw the bottle at you," said chris, pointing at fatboy. "That bastard, i''ll show him!!!" shouted deadman, running into the pair. Chris ordered a drink, and watched deadman punch fatboy's face in.


----------



## fatboy955

"ow that hurt you fu$%ing [email protected])" fatboy yells before trying to eat deadmans arm before realizing that he's called Deadman for a reason...


----------



## sea dragons

finding that fatboy had just given him a drink. sea dragon felt well chuffed.

"nice one"

only then to find Deadmans arm being eaten by fatboy. Abarax who had seemingly been hit by a bottle had not fallen over, with blood streaming down his face he dived head first at Sea dragon.

sea dragon tried to get out the way but somthing was holding his foot

"oh CRAP" as Abarax's head crashed into sea dragons chest plate, sending him half way across the bar.


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman then hit Fatboy sending him flying with sea dragons. Then he heard a cryand turned to see Abarax flying towards him. But the Deadman ducked and Abarax flew across the bar next to Fatboy. And because there was such a big shock three bottles fell on top of Sea Dragons, Fatboy and Abarax knocking them all unconcious and killing Abarax.


----------



## Master Andael

Peple aren't supposed to die in the mangled moose and so they can't die in there

Andael heard (with his free ear) a lot of noise somewhere close to him. He battered the helmet so he could see again. He forgot who rammed the helm on his head backwards so he lifted the still broken jukebox over his haed and threw it into Deadmen who flew right into the still growing pile of bodies. With a nice and loud crash the jukebox squashed Abarax, Deadman, Sea dragons and Fatboy. Thats taken care of.


----------



## chrisman 007

"ah, it's so much easier watching slightly less intelligent monkeys fight each other than actually fighting with them," said chris, drinking a bit more beer. Suddenly the duke box in the corner flew threw the sky. "Well, I speak for everyone when I say...WHAT THE SMEG?"


----------



## Sword Slasher

The juke box was thrown by none other than Slasher, right at chris! But, this is Slash we're talking about and so, naturally, the juke box fell short, slammed on a plank that he was standing on and hurtled him threw the air slamming him on the wall hanging!


----------



## chrisman 007

As chris flew threw the air, something very strange happened. By chaos, or by some other strange means, chris turned it a fluffy, yellow sparrow.

"What...the....smeg," twittered chris as he flew around the bar.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy puts 50 credits in the juke box selects 'Queen - Don't stop me now'
and leaps back in to fray


----------



## Dirge Eterna

Dirge Eterna pockets the 49 wasted credits and continues to drink an exorbident amount of Pepsi Wild Cherry.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael watched the second jukebox fly through the air. He turned around to look at the copycat. It was the one who hit him when he tried to help him. He thought of revenge. He took the bottle of Pepsi Wild Cherry from Dirge and smacked Slasher in his face with it, but that was not all. After his nice smack he took one of the splinters from the jukebox lying on the floor and stabbed it in Slashers left foot.


----------



## sea dragons

pushing several bodies off himself Sea dragon stagered to his feet. jukebox's were everywere and one was playing Queen.

"what the devil, quickly adding 10 credits to it, so that it started blasting _my chemical romance_. aah thats better, now lets see"

spotting Andael and Dirge sitting down sea dragon thought

"now we can't have that can we" 

grabing the barman and his chair, sent them in a graseful arc to land right on Dirge's head spilling him off his chair.

"WOOHOO"

looking round sea dragon spotted a door that he was sure wasn't there before. grabing the handle sea dragon truned the knob. to find a set of stairs leading down to the beer storage.

"Cant drink on my billy can i" thus grabed the nearest person.

"come have a drink, its on me. well actually its free so".


----------



## chrisman 007

Now little did everyone know that whilst all this was happening, chris was sitting in the top beam, still in sparrow form, watching the battle. Now, all chris needed to do was aim his arse right and let go and all would be white.


----------



## Master Andael

Andael was pulled down the cellar by Seadragons. He walked down the stairs and looked in awe at the biggest supply of liqour, beer and wine in the universe.


----------



## chrisman 007

Splat. Right on master Andaels face. A sickly white goo dripped down him. Spalt, another shot hit deadman in they eye, and splash damage hit abarax. :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: laughed sparrow chris. He aimed a dirge now, still drinking wild cherry coke, and by some amazing marksmenship, he landed his payload right in dirge's drink.


----------



## sea dragons

crying in joy for the first time sea dragon started drinking to his hearts content.

"yo andael...hik...hik... ur a real..hik..pall...."

grabbing a whole keg of emperors finest seadragon and andael started a drinking comp!!!.

"who can down...hik...the most in.... hik... 5 hours...hik"

crashing back the entire barrel in 4 gulps.


----------



## Sword Slasher

Slash thought that 4 gulps to down a keg was quite a reasonable acheivement that andael couldn't match. So he gave andael an unfair advantage grabbing the seat that seadragon was sitting on and yanked it from under his weight, causing a jolt up seadragons' tail bone and retire!

"ANDAEL WINS!" the spectators cheered


----------



## chrisman 007

Suddenly chris fell from his perch into a nearby keg of beer. The spectators ran up to it (which took about 2 seconds) and when the looked in, one very drunk sparrow sat in there and no more beer. "I...HICK...w...HICK...in," said sparrow chris as he passed out.


----------



## demon lord345

chris got up not noticing an eldar gracefuly move towards him. about a second later the eldar had already rammed his knee into chris and had crcked him over the head with his hand. it all happedned in a couple of seconds it was so fast.


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy wakes up and Wonders where his beer is


----------



## Master Andael

Because he won Andael yelled: "A free round on me!". He said to slasher: "sorry for the piece of glass in yer foot, mate." He turned around just when an eldar started beating up the sparrow chris. "Hey, leave that little birdie alone! If you have to fight, fight somebody your size or bigger!." Andael grabbed one of the bottles the barteender was just giving and smashed it to pieces in the manly parts of the Eldar.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Thank you," said chris, buying a bottle for Andael to replace the one that he butchered the Eldar guy with "Now can someone tell me how the hell I turned into a sparrow?"


----------



## Master Andael

"The moose never liked you. It tried to scare you away with all the plaster that fell out of the ceiling. There's one substantial reason for this: you use too much weapons in the moose. It can't stand weapons. So no weapons and you'll be fine in an hour or so." "In the meantime you can peck peoples eyes out for fun."


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 walks back into the Moose after more than a week on the outside, noticing that not much had really changed ... it was business as usual in the Moose.

"So" shouts Pariah "Who's going to buy their old friend a drink?!"


----------



## Silar

Silar ran in, _wow_ he thought _This is the perfect place to hide from that rampaging cold one_ He ordered a bottle of the vinest druchii wine. He watched as someone hit the strange elf like thing with a bottle.


----------



## chrisman 007

"Cool," said chris "Now, where was that guy...abarax that's it...I got me some pecking to do..!"


----------



## Silar

Silar saw a bird start talking, _Hmmn, I've seen stranger things, now imagine if he was a waiter_


----------



## chrisman 007

"You've stranger things than a talking birdie?" shouted chris at silar "What kind of neighbourhood do you come from? Anyway, I always like to welcome newcomers to this thread, so how about a free drink?" 
Silar responded ":laugh: a talking bird, I must be drunk already," silar gae chris a poke "talking birdie, haha, birdie."
"Excuse me, I am real not a drink enduced halucination," chris picked up a bottle and handed it to Silar "See? You can feel it, and drink it. You can't do that with a halucination."
Silar's face clouded with fear "AHHH!!!!! Talking bird!!!" Silar picked up the bottle, and squished chris. "Not cool," said the now very flat sparrow.


----------



## Silar

ooc: hay why are you god moding my charrie thats not nice oh and _italics I use as thinking_ my charrie knew you where real

Silar satmped on the talking bird, *he he, annoying thing* He took another swig from his bottle and put it down on the bar.


----------



## chrisman 007

As a counter attack, chris followed Andael's advice at gave silar a sharp peck in the eye. Blood poured frok the wound. Chris took a swig from Silar's drink (which he'd actually bought for him as a welcome gift).


----------



## fatboy955

Fatboy must have passed out because the last thing he remebered was giving sea dragons a beer (long week and lots of drinking i think i was drink posting ) 
So.... WHO WANTS A FIGHT?!?!


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231's ears perk up as he hears someone order a bottle of Druchii spirits. "Hmmm, sounds good" he mumbles to himself, and raising his voice he calls to the bartender to pass one his way.
Collecting his drink, Pariah strolls over to Andael and starts up a convosation.
"So" Pariah says "who'd have thought a Daemonette could get pregnant?", before taking a swig of his drink.


----------



## The Deadman

"I know it's weird isn't" said Andael then Deadman came back into the pub and saw that Chris was sitting by himself. So he walked over and asked "what you drinking?" 
"Emporers Finest"
"right well I'll buy 3 Emporers Finest then" he says to the bartender.


----------



## Viscount Vash

*Time Gentlemen please!*

TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE!!!!

You all have one day to tie up any loose ends or end fights and finish your drinks!!!!!

The _Mangled Moose_ is shutting down for a refurbishment (well they say that but just to sluce down all the vomit and blood.:grin but will reopen very soon with new furniture for you to break, cleaner toilets, new staff and unsurprisingly higher prices.


----------



## chrisman 007

Hearing the Viscount's annoncement, chris turned back into regular chris, and relised he didn't have long to finish this. He picked up a bar stool and smashed Abarax's face in, drank the offer of drinks from deadman, picked up another bottle, put a rag in it, picked up a cigarette lighter, went outside (to comply with the new smoking laws) lit the rag and threw it in. "Till the next time fellars, till the next time," shouted chris as he ran from the smoking bar.


----------



## sea dragons

sea dragon came out of his drunken state at vash's statement 

"noooo, gota do some damage"

so in true Sea Dragons style, he went on a rampage, grabing the bottles of emperors finest from deadman sea dragon smashed them over his head, and proseaded to use dead man as a baseball bat. nearly decapitating chris.

"eat this you fools"


----------



## The Deadman

Deadman hit everyone round the head with anything he could lay his hands on as his final act before the mangled moose shut down for refurbishment.


----------



## Pariah Mk.231

Pariah Mk.231 realised that he hadn't caused enough damage during this visit, so decided now was the time. Leaping behind the bar Pariah began tossing bottles at randoms, drenching them head to toe with highly flammable fluids. As the flames from Chrisman's molotov spread, the random patrons began to ignite, spreading the flames even further.
Once Pariah was out of bottles, he leapt into the rafters and whispered to the Moose that Sea Dragon had broken the rules. Though it was a lie, the Moose dropped some plaster on his head before it realised it had been tricked.
Before Pariah could be punished however, he smashed through the weakened patch and fled through the roof.
Lighting a smoke, Pariah Mk.231 shouted back through the hole "So long suckers!!!" before turning to pounce from the roof, landing directly on top of Chrisman, causing him to face-plant into the mud.
"I'm outta here" were the last words Chrisman heard from Pariah Mk.231 as he sprinted into the night.


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