# Would YOU Want to be a Space Marine?



## Fluff Master (Nov 11, 2008)

So, the title kind of asks the question for me. Just say you lived on some planet which was the homeworld of a Space Marine Chapter, and some eight foot tall marines walk up to you and ask you if you want to undergo a recruitment process, would you accept, knowing that you could die? 
If yes, what chapter would you choose?


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

Yes I would.

Becoming superhuman, and despite losing my 'personality' to others, I'd have that bond with my Brothers, and would outlive guard/do missions which guard can't even attempt to do, so it wouldn't exactly matter either way.

Knowing I would die - how is that from a feral/death world existence? Or guard for that matter?

And if I had the chance to choose, it would have to be the Howling Griffons, because choosing my own fictional chapter is cheating.


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

fuck yes i would.

as for what chapter? shoot id be in a legion during the great crusade, most likely Death Gaurd or Iron Warriors for my way of battle.


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## beenburned (May 15, 2008)

Nah. An eternity of war sounds like it'd get a bit boring after a while...

I'd rather sit here and eat cake.


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## Triangulum (Jul 15, 2008)

Soul Drinkers, no psycho indoctrinating and no kowtowing to the Imperium hell yeah, besides given the average lifespan on any world with a marine presence (feral, death, gangland, etc), I would rather die bolter a blazing and chainsword a cutting against a throng of bad guys than get stabbed in the back because I found something shiny.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

I could quite happily live out my days as a dandy noble on some non-descript Hive world a stone's throw from Terra. As long as I paid my taxes and went to chapel occasionally, I could have a pretty sweet time of it.

What's the point of living for 500 years if you spend the entire time being shot at and never being able to enjoy the finer things in life (ie shagging).

Plus what if some 10 year old kid painted your armour all crappily and then put your picture on ratemymini.com?


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## Mighty (Jun 8, 2008)

Unknown Soldier said:


> I could quite happily live out my days as a dandy noble on some non-descript Hive world a stone's throw from Terra. As long as I paid my taxes and went to chapel occasionally, I could have a pretty sweet time of it.
> 
> What's the point of living for 500 years if you spend the entire time being shot at and never being able to enjoy the finer things in life (ie shagging).
> 
> Plus what if some 10 year old kid painted your armour all crappily and then put your picture on ratemymini.com?


The honour that comes with being a marine I think. The fact that you know 100 battles brother have your back. And at least if your a marine your getting painted how many times do you see kids painting dandy nobles.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Mighty said:


> The honour that comes with being a marine I think. The fact that you know 100 battles brother have your back. And at least if your a marine your getting painted how many times do you see kids painting dandy nobles.


Okay, the honour thing I can kind of understand, but if my 'personality' was erased, how would I know? Aside from the free medical coverage, the job has very few perks. 'Congratulations Captain, you single handedly saved the universe from the Ork invasion.', 'Cool, what do I get? Fame, money, chicks, my own Land Raider?', 'No, you get to fight some more until you die, then we're going to put your body in a mechanical metal coffin so you can fight some more and then die again and then when you finally die properly for the third time, your soul will be torn apart in the Warp by vengeful daemons', 'Neat-o!'

Besides, who wants to wake up from an operation and hear these words 'You'll be pleased to hear that we've replaced your genitals with a series of plastic tubes, you'll be able to drink your own urine in emergency situations'. Thanks a bunch Apothecary.:angry:

I would rather have twenty gorgeous maidens having my front, then 100 dudes having my back.

True, small children rarely paint dandy nobles (and if they do, get them to a counsellor asap). So I will give that point to you.

Don't get me wrong, I'd support the troops and would be the first to pay my tithes into the Imperial coffers. But sitting on a ship with a bunch of humourless eunuchs for a couple of centuries would get boring real quick. No wonder they're always charging head first into Tyranid swarms!

Space Marine vs Noble - the results

Pain, suffering, death, no genitals < Fancy clothes, fine wines, servants, babes


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## CommanderAnthor (Sep 28, 2008)

HELL YEAH

*transforms*

*appears in the battle front before a massive charge*

Uh guys actually.. is there *gets a bolter round to the leg*

HOLY FUCK SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.



(No)


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## Mighty (Jun 8, 2008)

Unknown Soldier said:


> I would rather have twenty gorgeous maidens having my front, then 100 dudes having my back.
> 
> True, small children rarely paint dandy nobles (and if they do, get them to a counsellor asap). So I will give that point to you.
> 
> Pain, suffering, death, no genitals < Fancy clothes, fine wines, servants, babes


Yea I can agree with that but if a marrine asked me if I would undergo the recruitment process I'm not saying no.


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## gwmaniac (Sep 1, 2008)

no, i would hate worshipping an emperor and undergoing that scout training thing and the black carapace process. ugh...definitely no.


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## Madeem (Oct 29, 2008)

I think I'll do the dandy stuff first and then join the marines.

Sure it's stupid and suicidal, but living in that time is anyway.
I'll join my own chapter, the storm heralds.
I've just added a rule that they can have offspring and have a special indoor harem for just that!!! 
(love my own chapter, and yes I am joking)


note to self, don't drink this much coffee in the morning. I'll only join the marines if I can still drink coffee though.


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## surreal-mind (Oct 11, 2008)

yes, i will wait for the chaos gods to whisper to me and i will accept their whispers and join chaos, not sure which god, just not nurgle, coz i like my guts INSIDE me... if thats impossible though i would still do it, if you die so what? how is it better than dieing any other way? the chances are you die straight away but so? there are chances you elevate the ranks and become someone who is respected and known by all, its better than living in a 40k oceania thankyou very much


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## Crimson_fists (Oct 19, 2008)

I'd definately join the marines, crimson fists. I have always wanted to die for the glory of a battle brother (friend in the real case) or the emperor. Most of the stuff i think of has me dying in glory in some last stand or something. if a marine asked me to join his ranks i'd scream YES!


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## Abomination (Jul 6, 2008)

I most certainly would. I would want the Ultramarines chapter if I had a choice.


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## Fluff Master (Nov 11, 2008)

Alright, but for those of you who said yes, could you really cope without seeing your family? I mean, would you really want to just forget about them? And, as Unknown Soldier reightly says, what about the finer things in life?


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## RudeAwakening79 (Oct 20, 2008)

The space marines I read about often drink wine(or ale, like the sons of Russ)...that's fine with me.

"the finer things in life" are negotiable;

*Travel through the stars, meet interesting species and kill them...sounds mighty fine to me!*

So where do I sign-up?


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## Madeem (Oct 29, 2008)

I would still join!

I mean the chance that I end up in a guard regiment are way bigger, so I might as well join in the fun as a 3 ton badass than a 3 hour warranty piece of cannon fodder.

But if I really have to pick something it would be Imperial commisar!!! OBEY ME!!!


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## Ferrus Manus (Apr 28, 2008)

Yes and probably Iron HAnds!! or Mentors


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## Camaris (Aug 4, 2008)

Hell yes!

Besides, the space wolves party hard all the time. It's just because GW wants to keep their product suited for kids that you don't see any wenches with their beer.
Even indoctrinated men have libidos. (To all the guys that think sm are eunuchs I say: it isn't explicitly written so that's just your opinion.) Maybe not too much free time but as I remember they get 1 hour a week 'free' time. I could see a sm hooking up with a Sister. They wouldn't get together too often though... But it could happen.

Space Marines as a whole are less indocrinated as a whole then the normal Imperial citizen. At least they acknowledge the Emperor as a man, not God.
So they're brainwashed a little. A little brainwashing never did a soldier any harm other then make him better at fighting (don't take this too seriously).

As for family, it would hurt to give them up but I'd be comforted by knowing that I'm fighting to keep them safe.

Being the good guy? Fighting with everything I've got with Brothers at my side for the good of the innocent? Hell yes! Having the power to actually do some good and deal some righteous justice? Yeah baby! Write my name and my deeds in the annals of history in HUGE GLOWING NEON LETTERS? Oh yeah!

Pain heals.
Chicks dig scars.
Glory lasts forever.

As long as I could pick my own chapter (which is pretty standard anyway).


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

I'm loving all the provisos - I'd be a Space Marine but...I get to shag SOB's and have a family and have Magarita Tuesdays with two drinks for the price of one, etc.

It doesn't work like that I'm afraid, you are 'Robocop'd' and that's it. As for the libido, I find that hard to believe, 'Hey Sarge, check out the buns on that Farseer chick, weee doggie!' - with all the drugs, new organs and machinery inside of you, the only thing you'll find attractive is putting Ork heads on sticks.

But as a noble, I will think fondly of you and raise a glass of champagne to your demise as some Dark Eldar decorates his Christmas tree with your entrails.

And if I couldn't be a noble, then Rogue Trader sounds like a pretty good life as well. You get to explore the galaxy, find neat stuff and make a few credits along the way.


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## Camaris (Aug 4, 2008)

> It doesn't work like that I'm afraid, you are 'Robocop'd' and that's it. As for the libido, I find that hard to believe, 'Hey Sarge, check out the buns on that Farseer chick, weee doggie!' - with all the drugs, new organs and machinery inside of you, the only thing you'll find attractive is putting Ork heads on sticks.


Says you. That's just your opinion and as such you are entitled to it.
But it isn't expressly written like that.

Let's see:
Drugs: nope. Combat drugs (or other) is more of a Dark eldar/Slaanesh worshipper thing.
New organs: Don't see how these would stand in the way of a nice morning-erection... :biggrin:
Machinery inside you: Nope. Isn't happening. Except if you're an Iron Hands marine and even then. As long as you haven't suffered 'ahem' (Werewolf: the apocalypse players'll know what I mean) these again wouldn't stand in the way of a nice morning-erection. :biggrin:

Actually, having a libido and no one to screw could just make soldiers all the more effective as they have more frustration to 'work' off... :grin:

I said that it wouldn't be very likely because sm only have 1 hour a week free time. It isn't impossible.

Anyway, chicks aren't even one of the main reasons I said yes.

PS: Anyone who's on the side that thinks sm are eunuchs can just ignore me.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Hi Camaris,

Sorry to burst yer bubble, but even in the modern day military, they give the soldiers drugs to keep their libido in check - can't have your troops jumping each other - bad for morale old boy.

SM undergo several chemical treatments during their lives to keep their metabolisms in check - so yes, you are pumped full of drugs.

The Black Carapace - it's a black plastic that allows you to interface with your armour, plus their are various other bionic implants and limb replacements Marines will need as they get continually blown to bits and of course, there is Wargear - so machinery inside of you - not as much as a Techpriest or Servitor granted - but it still counts (sort of).

As for the SM's 'marital equipment', even if it is kept intact, where are you going to meet girls in your one hour off a week inside a fortress monestary? As for the SOB's, forget it, they're like nuns and only have eyes for the Emperor.

The idea of being a SM is certainly attractive - honour, glory, duty, saving the galaxy, fighting the good fight, etc. But the reality might slightly differ if your face is being chewed off by a Tyranid on some godforsaken rock in the ass end of the universe.

However, the aspect I find most disturbing, is the 'mental conditioning' and losing all sense of self and identity. If you gave me the choice - you will die at 70 but will have led a full life or you can live to 75 but you will be mentally incapacitated and won't remember this great life you led - the answer is pretty clear to me.

'Anyway, chicks aren't even one of the main reasons I said yes.' - you just want to kill people with a Chainsword?:shok:

Yes, a lot of my answers are based on my opinion and perception of the SM, so if someone could kindly show me anywhere in 40k literature where a Marine 'gets jiggy' with a lady, please let me know.


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## Digg40k (Sep 7, 2008)

No I wouldn't. For all the reasons Unknown Soldier pointed out.


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## Camaris (Aug 4, 2008)

> Sorry to burst yer bubble, but even in the modern day military, they give the soldiers drugs to keep their libido in check - can't have your troops jumping each other - bad for morale old boy.


Yeah. That's why the whorehouses make a killin' profit where ever there's a war. :laugh:
Oh, nice condescending tone by the way. k:


> SM undergo several chemical treatments during their lives to keep their metabolisms in check - so yes, you are pumped full of drugs.


Which is to make a person a Space Marine and as such are part of the treatment I signed up for. You implied they are pumped full of drugs every damn day. I want to be a superhuman supersoldier hero-type guy. Not a crack head. I could be that in real life if I'd wanted to.


> The Black Carapace - it's a black plastic that allows you to interface with your armour, plus there are various other bionic implants and limb replacements Marines will need as they get continually blown to bits and of course, there is Wargear - so machinery inside of you - not as much as a Techpriest or Servitor granted - but it still counts (sort of).


Not so much. Otherwise all of the space marine models would have bionics like the Iron Hands. They don't. Replacement limbs will be a probability. So what? 
And the Black Carapace? Oh no a small black plastic square that features an USB port is stuck on the base of my neck (or where ever)! Shocking! Still doesn't present me from getting laid (ignoring the time/mindcontrol problems for now).


> As for the SM's 'marital equipment', even if it is kept intact, where are you going to meet girls in your one hour off a week inside a fortress monestary? As for the SOB's, forget it, they're like nuns and only have eyes for the Emperor.


Where am I going to meet them? On the battle field dude! Where else? :laugh:
Hell, women and girls, even nuns have been tricked into putting out by their idols/saints/clergy/whatever since the beginning of time. Why not a SoB? :wink:
"That's a very nice bolter shot to the head miss. That traitor didn't even see it comin'. You do the Emperor proud."
"Oh thank you holiest of the Emperors warriors."
"How you doin'?"
"*giggle*"
"Oops, some traitor got on your armour there, let me just wipe that off." Say, in a week I get an hour off. You want to get together and 'recite prayers' together?"
"I'd love that! C U then!"
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:


> The idea of being a SM is certainly attractive - honour, glory, duty, saving the galaxy, fighting the good fight, etc. But the reality might slightly differ if your face is being chewed off by a Tyranid on some godforsaken rock in the ass end of the universe.


Hey, since whe're fantasizing anyway I'll be one of the succesfull space marines that get's promoted to Special Character status. Not one who dies! And if I must die then I'd go in a spectacular, heroic and above all COOL way.


> However, the aspect I find most disturbing, is the 'mental conditioning' and losing all sense of self and identity. If you gave me the choice - you will die at 70 but will have led a full life or you can live to 75 but you will be mentally incapacitated and won't remember this great life you led - the answer is pretty clear to me.


They don't lose all sense of self and identity. They don't become tyranids. Sure they're indocrinated but hey, so are we (unless you live in a barren wasteland without getting exposed to tv, magazines, commercials, education). They're even very proud of their identity since they dismplay and wear their names proudly next to all their accomplishments.


> you just want to kill people with a Chainsword?


Nooo... I want to kill BAD PEOPLE with a chainsword (and let's not drag this into an ethical debate). :so_happy: Because that's what they deserve. The BAD PEOPLE Space Marines fight are always trying to destroy humanity in one way or another. This is genocide. I think it's punishable by death. (And don't start about how the Imperium virus bombs planets. That's the different Ordos. Not the Adeptus Astartes who have little to do with Imperial policy and just fight mankind's enemies. It's better then what we do to mass murderers nowadays...)


> Yes, a lot of my answers are based on my opinion and perception of the SM, so if someone could kindly show me anywhere in 40k literature where a Marine 'gets jiggy' with a lady, please let me know.


You give me written reference where it is stated that it never happened and never will.
Besides, I didn't say it would be easy or probable. Just not impossible.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Good answers Camaris, you've argued your case well and I wish you the best of luck with whichever Chapter you choose to join.

Oh, nice aggressive response by the way. 

'Battlefield Romance' - I suppose it could happen, if the SM were allowed to hang around after the battle for the liberation celebrations - sure why not. If you can't laid in 200 years, then it ain't never gonna happen.

I like the way you pass off the entire restructuring of your body as 'no big deal', I poo my knickers if I have to go to the dentist.

'You give me written reference where it is stated that it never happened and never will.' is a false argument. I could say that my fluff chapter of SM's are like Transformers and can turn themselves into Battle Barges at will. If someone said 'no they can't', I could use the same argument to justify just about anything.

'Hey, since whe're fantasizing anyway I'll be one of the succesfull space marines that get's promoted to Special Character status' 'And I'll have giant cock...and I can fly':crazy: 

I truly believe that if you were inducted into the SM's, then yes, you would be a hero of the Imperium and make it to special character status and a miniature bearing your holy image would be produced by Forge World. I would then buy it and convert into a Chaos Lord, just to be mean. :wacko:

" Say, in a week I get an hour off. You want to get together and 'recite prayers' together?" :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: This made me laugh out loud. I will give you a rep point for this alone.

Again, well done for arguing your case so well. But I think I'll pass on joining the Dark Angels and just lounge around in my silk jim-jams, in my penthouse overlooking the Hive waiting to 'interview' the new servant girls.

Careful with that Chainsword, you'll take your eye out.:spiteful:


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## when in doubt shoot! (Oct 19, 2008)

too right I would, but it's a lot of bother and if you fail the selections you aren't just taken back to you're home world, you have to serve on the space marines ship as a general lackey (ie. maintain armour, maintain weapons) and all the other marines hate you because you failed. But if It was certain I'd get a place, hell yeah.

Oh and yeah, I'm 98% certain marines have a vesectome (god I hope I spelt that right) on entry to their chapter. So unfortunately...Yeah.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

A vasectomy isn't too bad, when in doubt, it just means you have your tubes snipped, your meat and two veg are still intact and functioning. You just can't impregnate anyone, which would make sense as they'd be a lot of mini-chapters around with the passing of the, er 'seed'.


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## when in doubt shoot! (Oct 19, 2008)

I know, They don't actually chop it off..(Imagine if they did ) But I still think, Your prides at stake! (jk) But as long as there's no chance of not getting in and becoming a slave.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Or worse, you go in for your initiation, the Librarian looks at you and says 'Why you have some sort of psychic ability...oh dear, it's a bit crap. How do you feel about being consumed by the Emperor?'


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## Leatharnak (Mar 20, 2008)

Unknown Soldier said:


> Sorry to burst yer bubble, but even in the modern day military, they give the soldiers drugs to keep their libido in check - can't have your troops jumping each other - bad for morale old boy.


What service exactly is this? I'm pretty sure that no amount of drugs are going to stop me from wanting to have sex with the ladies. Nice though that you can throw random speculation out there and call it fact.:laugh:

Yes. I would be a Space Marine for all the reasons that I would join any branch of military service. Service to your home (planet, race, affiliation), glory, pride, the support and brotherhood of all those who, like you, swore the oath to protect and defend. Plus the addition of many new gubbins and know-wots would be kool. (wait this isn't the ork forum is it?:search



Unknown Soldier said:


> You just want to kill people with a Chainsword?


Not just a chainsword, gods no...meltagun, bolter, heavy bolter, power fist, there are so many weapons to choose from. Why limit oneself to one weapon when killing the foul xenos of the galaxy requires so many tools? The only one I'm not in favor of using is the plasmagun...to hell with getting my face melted off just because some damn machine spirit decided to take a piss. Mmmm...good old fashioned violence.

I would prefer to be an Ork but seeing as we are talking about being a Space Marine I would be part of the Iron Warriors (which I'm sure get to hit some Slaaneshi Deamonette tail once and awhile. That's what the Horus Heresy was all about after all. The right to get your freak on with some alien races while killing them. That's what happens in every war...except Iraq...then we can go to the PX and hit on some hometown trailer-park trash who have managed to become "desert pretty."

Ooops i just went on a rant...sorry :biggrin:


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Leatharnak, not speculation but hearsay - many military people I've met have claimed their tea and coffee were routinely laced with potassium bromide during training to cut down on the number of 'engorgements' that would pop up from time to time, so they could better concentrate on the important things - like marching in a line, ironing uniforms and cleaning the base.

All manner of drugs are used in the modern military and many claim Gulf War Syndrome was caused by a combination of chemicals given to the troops to help protect them from various diseases and gas attacks. During Seal training, the recruits have to stay up for five days straight and are given amphetimines to help them. And who could forget the squaddies favourite - morphine, it's not just for wounds you know.

Of course, getting the military to admit that they lace drinks with bromide or that their drug cocktails caused Gulf War Syndrome would be impossible, as they would be liable for a slew of litigious actions. So no, it's not fact, but hearsay.

But I digress, let's get on to the main 'thrust' of your post - shagging daemonettes! Not only would you be found guilty of fraternising with the enemy and burned at the stake as a heretic, you could also pick up some nasty new diseases. (Though it never happened to Kirk once on Star Trek and he was a dirty slag).

'I'm sorry to inform you Brother, but it appears that you have Nurgle Nuts, once the itching subsides, expect them to fall off and roll around the floor of the Rhino'

'then we can go to the PX and hit on some hometown trailer-park trash who have managed to become "desert pretty" ' - as long as your fortress monestary isn't in space, on a barren moon or similar wasteland, then off you go. My advice would be to find a Chapter that's headquarted near a shopping mall, that's where you normally see the jar heads trying to pick up high school chicks.

By some of the fanatical violence shown by certain posters on this thread, the Chapters can throw away their indoctrination tanks and start cutting you guys up straight away!


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

Ever had boiled sweets from a rat pack? They cut the blood flow to the jewels and you can't get it up. 2 weeks before returning home from a tour, Royal Marines no longer have to eat them. During my training, I spent 3 weeks in the south of france in the Alps. We ate sweets for that time, to keep up energy etc. When I get home, first thing I wanna do is the obvious. Can't get the little bastard up for the life of me. Took two blue pills and a long time in the shower for it to work.

And its a marshalling offence if you don't eat them. I have a by the book brassy, and will do it if you are bad enough to get caught. So while he eats in our mess, we have to eat them.


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## Red Orc (Jun 14, 2007)

Enforced drug-taking and recreational use of civilians/daemons aside (which all sounds quite Slaaneshi and just about acceptable)...

Hell no. I don't even want to be in the guard, and they're relatively normal. I don't want to be a bio-engineered automaton with a brainwashed religious code and no thought beyond duty to a dead guy in a cupboard. I don't want to live in the 41st Millennium at all, I don't even like the 3rd all that much, and I think ours is _waaay_ better.

I don't want to be a slave to a corpse and his fascist church, I don't want to kill my fellow beings, I'm not xenophobic (not even in real life about the French, which as far as being English is concerned, is _far_ worse than being gay); if I lived in the Imperium I'd already have been shot/burned/virus bombed as a Heretic, if I hadn't died of overwork and pollution or been torn apart by something gribbly.

So no, life in the Marines would be... not one I'd chose. If I were a marine, I'm sure I'd be too lobotomised to complain, but thank spongebob I'm not, so, no, you'd have to drag me kicking, screaming, biting and gouging your eyes out all the way, thanks.

:better off out it cyclops:


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## pylco (Jun 2, 2008)

Unknown Soldier:
"A vasectomy isn't too bad, when in doubt, it just means you have your tubes snipped, your meat and two veg are still intact and functioning. You just can't impregnate anyone, which would make sense as they'd be a lot of mini-chapters around with the passing of the, er 'seed'."

I don't think there is any seed, left after chemotherapy, lots of steroids and drugs.In fact i don't think there is meat and veg also!!! So join the Guard where the REAL men serve!!


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## Leatharnak (Mar 20, 2008)

Unknown Soldier said:


> All manner of drugs are used in the modern military and many claim Gulf War Syndrome was caused by a combination of chemicals given to the troops to help protect them from various diseases and gas attacks.


Again it is speculative (hearsay) to say that these drugs were intended to cause any sexual side effects. 



Unknown Soldier said:


> During Seal training, the recruits have to stay up for five days straight and are given amphetimines to help them.


During BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolitions/Seal) training candidates can't even get off base. The reason to keep them awake is not so they'll stop thinking about women. The U.S. Marine Corps has a similar training event called the crucible (which admittedly is not as severe) but that is training for operations sake. Every time I go out on a field op I can plan to be up for at least 36 hours at a time. At least.

As for drugs I can't say because I have not been through BUD/S and I can't claim to know what the Navy does. I do know that other than some vaccinations which, because I'm not a conspiracy theorist, I do not believe contain anything other than vaccine. Marines are not given any performance enhancing (or de-hansing) drugs.



Unknown Soldier said:


> But I digress, let's get on to the main 'thrust' of your post - shagging daemonettes! Not only would you be found guilty of fraternising with the enemy and burned at the stake as a heretic, you could also pick up some nasty new diseases.


Hence why I said I'd be in a traitor legion, Iron Warriors. They don't mind so much that I'm fraternizing with Daemonettes. Nor would I get the preverbial "Nurgle Nuts" being that I check all my lays before the proceedings, not after.



Unknown Soldier said:


> My advice would be to find a Chapter that's headquarted near a shopping mall, that's where you normally see the jar heads trying to pick up high school chicks.


I see you've been to Lawton, Oklahoma as well. Didn't enjoy my stay there too much. Except for them Army chow halls. Good biscuts and gravy. Mmmmm.:laugh:



Vaz said:


> Ever had boiled sweets from a rat pack? They cut the blood flow to the jewels and you can't get it up. 2 weeks before returning home from a tour, Royal Marines no longer have to eat them. During my training, I spent 3 weeks in the south of france in the Alps. We ate sweets for that time, to keep up energy etc. When I get home, first thing I wanna do is the obvious. Can't get the little bastard up for the life of me. Took two blue pills and a long time in the shower for it to work.
> 
> And its a marshalling offence if you don't eat them. I have a by the book brassy, and will do it if you are bad enough to get caught. So while he eats in our mess, we have to eat them.


:shok::shok::shok:
Man I'm glad I'm not British if that's the truth. The only thing we get is chewing gum that lets us shit after we've eaten too many MREs.

:biggrin:This is fun. Can we keep going?:biggrin:


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

Where real men serve, but still get beaten senseless and this way and that by sopranos? I had to laugh.

Vasectomy is a cut of the tubes. Not sure if you still let rip or not, but you cannot reproduce.However, it's not permanent, so if a Marine has no use for it, why is it there? It's likely taken out.

Then again, they are capable of removing the impurities from their own urine, so its not needed for that, and its not needed for recreation (take it how you will), so it's more than likely not there. Other than the tongue, its the most sensite external (well, semi external, unless you're like my girlfriend, who's mouth is always fully external) area in the body.

Sod childbirth. Ever been punched in the family?

Edit; Leatharnak, that's not the half of it. Biscuit Browns and Biscuit fruits - one stuffs you up before a march, the other unblocks. Sometimes, quality control goes AWOL, and you get Two Biscuits Brown or Fruit, but in the different colour packaging so you're either looking like Johnny Vegas, or like Peter Crouch. Not fun. Then you have Semtex, or Chewing gum as you civvies call it. Seriously. Need a tooth pulling? Save NHS costs, too expensive have this. Next is the Yorkie. You could sharpen it and use it as a knife. Finally in the goody bag that is a Rat pack are the Fruit Dumplings. Run out of Mortar ammo? Need Sandbag material? Royal Marines knows how to cater haha.

Anyway, topic... back to it.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Yep, most special boys do the 36 hour endurance stint, but the Seals have to go one better and make it 5 days, which of course the human body can't cope with unless it's drugged up a bit.

'Hence why I said I'd be in a traitor legion, Iron Warriors. They don't mind so much that I'm fraternizing with Daemonettes. Nor would I get the preverbial "Nurgle Nuts" being that I check all my lays before the proceedings, not after.'

Apologies, I'm not up on all the Chapters, so go hit some of that Warp-tang! I'm sure the added tentacles will only enhance the sensation. Yeah, if your shagging a daemonette of Nurgle though, you will definitely catch something, it's kind of their thing.

My final question is, if you are neutered as part of the SM transformation, what happens when you retire? Can you pop over to the Adeptus Mechanicus and get a replacement? Otherwise, life is going to be pretty damn dull.


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## Leatharnak (Mar 20, 2008)

Vaz said:


> ...that's not the half of it. Biscuit Browns and Biscuit fruits - one stuffs you up before a march, the other unblocks. Sometimes, quality control goes AWOL, and you get Two Biscuits Brown or Fruit, but in the different colour packaging so you're either looking like Johnny Vegas, or like Peter Crouch. Not fun. Then you have Semtex, or Chewing gum as you civvies call it. Seriously. Need a tooth pulling? Save NHS costs, too expensive have this. Next is the Yorkie. You could sharpen it and use it as a knife. Finally in the goody bag that is a Rat pack are the Fruit Dumplings. Run out of Mortar ammo? Need Sandbag material? Royal Marines knows how to cater haha.


I understood about 30 percent of that. The rest was incomprehensible slang and jargon. To quote Cousin Avi from Snatch:


> Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.


:laugh: JK You Brits are a funny lot with your Ministry of Silly Walks and warm beer.



Unknown Soldier said:


> Yeah, if your shagging a daemonette of Nurgle though...


Not to be a dick, daemonettes are daemons of Slaanish.

You guys are fun...


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

As someone who's lived on both sides of the Atlantic, please allow me to translate Vaz's post for you -

Biscuit Browns - a type of high energy bar packed with wheat flour, wheat bran, sugars and salt.

Biscuit Fruit - similar to a Biscuit Brown but packed with fruit.

One makes you constipated and the other helps you evacuate your bowels unexpectedly.

Sometimes there is a problem and you'll get two of the same high energy bar (browns or fruits) but in the same coloured packaging, so you don't realise until you open it.

So if you eat two of the same bar, you will either look like Johnny Vegas (a fat celebrity in the UK) or Peter Crouch (a freakishly skinny footballer who plays for England).

Vaz also complained that the chewing gum supplied tastes like plastic explosives and that you could save money on the cost of visiting the dentist by trying to chew this horribly sticky gum.

He then describes a Yorkie, which is a very tough to bite chocolate bar favoured by truckers in Britain. So tough, you could use it as a knife (well not really, it is chocolate after all) but the imagery is clear.

Finally, in his 'rat pack' - ration pack, there is a delicacy known as a Fruit Dumpling, which I'm assuming isn't very nice either, as you could drop it down a mortar tube and fire it at the enemy.

As for your daemonettes, let me tell you, I've pulled a few Nurgle daemonettes in my time and they are nowhere near as attractive as the Slaanishy kind (damn you alcohol).


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## Underground Heretic (Aug 9, 2008)

I honestly probably wouldn't want to be anywhere in the 40k universe, except maybe the Tau Empire, simply for not having to watch my back for the Inquisition or another aspiring champion looking to score a skull for the skull thrown. But I say if you are going for the combat, which I'll admit I would only do in this fantasy world, go all the way. I'd be right next to Kharn...okay maybe not _right_ next to, but you get the idea. If you are a super soldier destined for centuries of war and a death on the battlefield, take as many with you as you can. So start early and don't stop.


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## Son of mortarion (Apr 24, 2008)

no, I wouldn't want to be a space marine, id be a Space wolf!
Why do things halfway.




9yes, i do know that SW are space marines)


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## Lord of Rebirth (Jun 7, 2008)

Can I be an Iron Warrior Warsmith that rulesa a small empire from the bridge of my super massive warship?


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## Leatharnak (Mar 20, 2008)

If all these guys can be aristocrats on some feudal world then why not be able to be a warsmith?
Iron Within, Iron Without


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## Madeem (Oct 29, 2008)

If can be a warsmith, than I will be a techmarine with a mobile cannon.
And If I get bored with all the noble stuff I can always turn traitor and go for deamon prince. I will rule forever!!!


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

Hell Yes! I'd be a Dark Angel all the way baby!


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## omgitsduane (May 14, 2008)

If I was ever chosen to be a space marine, I would SEEK out chaos and join them simply because I love being the bad guy.

And I would be a Word Bearer, either that or a marine from my DIY legion. The idea of chaos propagandists roaming the fields with dark writings make me so happy


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## Tigirus (Apr 13, 2008)

I don't know, seeing as I'm already over the age for marine recruitment, I'd probably die in the process so no thanks. Even though it would be pretty cool.

If I could be anything, it would probably be eldar, A) because in te fluff it says they can enter battle without losing a single drop of eldar blood and B) because I have to do my duty and "repopulate" the eldar race. An immortal existance of that sounds pretty sweet


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## The Son of Horus (Dec 30, 2006)

As choices for dying horribly go, being a Space Marine has its merits. I mean, you're kind of screwed no matter what you're doing in the 41st Millenium, and being a Space Marine is a fair bit more productive for the continual survival of humanity than being some guy who spends his life putting a single screw into some hardware that's getting shipped off-planet for who knows what purpose. Workplace safety isn't high on the Imperial to-do list, either, so it's probably not that much safer an occupation. And then there's the draft... a Space Marine has a life expectency of a couple hundred years in constant warfare. A Guardsman...does not. Fifteen hours, if you're lucky. Life expectancy for a Guardsman in combat is measured in minutes.

So, would I be a Space Marine? Perhaps. I'm too old now, but at the time I would've been of recruitment age, I honestly could probably have done the physically demanding tasks to prove worthy of recruitment. I used to be in great shape before I tore my rotator cuffs swimming competitively. Used to be able to cross my arms and rip my shirt. But yeah. Quite frankly, the surgery required to become a Space Marine is the most terrifying thing about it. I'm an insomniac as it is, so the whole two hours of sleep a night, when you actually do get to sleep, doesn't bother me. I'm quite used to that. Splitting one's time between working out and reading historical texts isn't a bad gig, really. No women, but you end up so pumped full of chemicals that you just don't really care about that.


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## Kendares (Sep 9, 2008)

> I have to do my duty and "repopulate" the eldar race


 LOL tigirus. i dont think eldar woman are as easy as u think. u would prob need to date them for like 30 years before anything happens. and secondly i would want to be a 1k son of pre hersey then before the hersey convince magnus to let horus do what he wants so emp wont want to kill him and i will change the course of history. >:]


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## Emperor'sChild88 (Oct 7, 2008)

Who would'nt want to be a space marine?
I'd love to be one.:grin:
And i would choos the Imperial Fists chapter.


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## delta13 (Feb 10, 2008)

lol...i would have to say not just yes but hell yes...and i agree alot with VAZ...i have created my own chapter and of course would want to be of that chapter but iu think that is as VAZ says cheating or at least too biased a choice so i think i would probably go 'Death Watch' ( i know i know there not a proper chapter) or 'red scorpions'. although i suppose i would just be a 'red scorpion' attatched to the 'death watch'...lol. and i also would have to say the prospect of living for a virtual eternity and having to fight combat actions the majority of my life wouldn't be as bad as it sounds better than sitting in our everyday normal semi unadventerous lives...i mean hell why else do we play thesegames in the first place...lol


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

delta13, our semi-adventerous lives might seem dull compared to being a Space Marine, but trust me, that's the kind of boredom I can live with.

There is a big difference between pushing plastic men around a board and actually being shot at and killed.

I've noticed a big transatlantic divide with this question - Brits have been going 'No, there's no sex and no money' and Yanks have been saying 'Hell yeah, let me kill people'

I'm not sure what that means, but it's a bizarre turn of events and no mistaking.

I've decided I'll be an Inquisitor instead and damn everyone else to hell.


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## Wolf_Lord_Skoll (Jun 9, 2008)

If I could be an Inquistor, then I would. Better off IMO. Power armour, long life expectancy (compared to normal people), an army to command, most likely psychic powers, exotic weapons to kill stuff with, divine authority and no restrictions on the ladies :biggrin:


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## Grik (Jul 28, 2008)

Kendares said:


> LOL tigirus. i dont think eldar woman are as easy as u think. u would prob need to date them for like 30 years before anything happens. and secondly i would want to be a 1k son of pre hersey then before the hersey convince magnus to let horus do what he wants so emp wont want to kill him and i will change the course of history. >:]


yeah but Eldar live for an eternity, so what's 30 years? That be like a week to us normal people.


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## pylco (Jun 2, 2008)

VAZ: "Where real men serve, but still get beaten senseless and this way and that by sopranos? I had to laugh."

you have to be a MAN to charge with a flashlight!!!!


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## delta13 (Feb 10, 2008)

Dear unknown Soldier.... i am fully aware that there is a huge difference between pushing little plastic and metal men around on a table and actually being shot at and killed as i have been in combat and shot myself and blown up and hit with shrapnel and stabbed and various other combat injuries....i have spent 11 years in service to my "kill'm all" country and would still take the brotherhood of battle hardened brothers over our fairly mundane lives...and if you want to talk about divides i would agre with you although i would probably see it a little differently though....more like all the poms are more of the opinion of "ooo no i don't want to get hurt" where my fellow yanks are a bit more" to hell with danger , we want glory".... byt hey thats just my two cents and who knows maybe i'll get suspended for it...lol


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

Hell to the no!
Would I like to have the strength, abilities and equipment of a space marine? Fuck yes.

Would I want to become a chaste, brainwashed, walking weapon who spends all day training and praying, then training some more, then praying a lot more, just so I can go and die on some rock because that's what I'm for? Not a fucking chance.

And that's why it's so hard to imagine 40k as a decent RPG/MMO setting.
Everyne wants to *play* a space marine, but nobody with common sense and even a vague idea of their fluff would actually want to *be* one.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Fair enough delta13, if real life combat is your thing, then go for it. And I hope you don't get suspended for voicing your opinion, that would be double plus uncool. I agree with you about the divide, but that might have more to do with the valuation of human life in our respective societies then worries over physical pain. (The Brits are a fairly warlike race when pushed plus we invented rugby, crap weather and football holligans - Orks basically).

On a personal level, I'd rather push little plastic (or in your case metal - show off!:grin men around a board then to take the risk of getting killed or maimed. This might be down to my ego, as I really value my life or maybe because of my age and the commitments that I have made. 

And if a 'proper war' (I'm gonna get in trouble for that) were to ever break out, I'm sure like the rest of the gamers, my services could be put to best use by sitting in the command bunker, moving little plastic units about.

Still, if I couldn't be a noble then I'd join the Inquisition, that way if anyone disagreed with my opinion, I could send them off to Servitor School.:rtfm:

Despite my amateur stab at sociology and national trends, I wouldn't be a Space Marine for the previously stated reasons - lobotomised eunuch that has to fight continually for 200+ years and dying three times before being ripped apart in the Warp by daemons. I'd like to see the recruitment poster for that.

Good luck to you delta13, I hope your life gets less mundane (but in a good way not involving people getting killed).

Cheers


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## CommanderAnthor (Sep 28, 2008)

Isn't Space Marines way of like making you pure, to erase memories and stuff?

It's kinda like brain washed to serve humanity but it has it's ups to ensure that you do what your supposed to lol


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Galahad said:


> Hell to the no!
> Would I like to have the strength, abilities and equipment of a space marine? Fuck yes.
> 
> Would I want to become a chaste, brainwashed, walking weapon who spends all day training and praying, then training some more, then praying a lot more, just so I can go and die on some rock because that's what I'm for? Not a fucking chance.
> ...



What Galahad said....:biggrin: He pretty much sums it up.


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## delta13 (Feb 10, 2008)

lol....well i must admit Unknown...you have put a humorous twist that has given me a pleasnt grin...thanks...lol


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## Nightbringer666 (Nov 27, 2008)

tes i would, i would totally be black legion if we're going for both chaos and loyal if not black templars cuz i hate those prissy librarians


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## Whoareyou2 (Jan 2, 2009)

Obviously too few of you have read the Horus Heresy books, your entire personality isn't entirely erased, but I'm not spoiling it for you guys...

Anyway I would probably join, well none of the chapters, I'd be green and hit the marines with my large, heavy axe instead...


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## Caledor (Jan 15, 2008)

Yes, but I'd join the Grey Knights. Some of the best combatants in the galaxy, and they don't send you into battle until you've got your own suit of power armour and a pointy stick (sorry, nemesis force weapon).

Failing that, Dark Angels.


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## Dirge Eterna (Apr 30, 2007)

Yes, I would. It'd be a blast to be in the Space Wolves, I think, or one of the three chapters I've made up (Knights Templar, Mountain Angels, and the 409th). Despite all the horrific consequences that come with being a Marine, it would be amazing to be such a ridiculously powerful soldier, and fight alongside others like you. I have to say though, flying a Thunderhawk would be very, very cool.

-Dirge


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## HorusReborn (Nov 19, 2008)

yeah I would have in the days of the Crusade... Hopefully the noble Lords of the Word Bearers would have approached me. Those were the days that the Space Marines were truly worshipped as gods! Definately would have wanted them to chose me and I would have died for the Word. To be in communion with the true gods in the empyrean at all times would be something to risk my life for, better than being some slave building a temple somewhere else!!


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## Mentor_Legion (Jan 2, 2009)

Seeing that I have been thru one tour. Have had the Brain Washing that opened my eyes to the real world and want to see it burn to cleanse the weak. Give me a "Hell Yeah" And it would be the World Eaters.


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## Primarch Lord CAG (Dec 5, 2007)

dont be a Bitch join the Marines!!!! 
go U.S.M.C.!!!


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## Justicar Auarilius (Nov 29, 2008)

Well depends on the time period, if were talking preheresy then my favorite will always be the world eaters becuase their whole army is the truly the most bad ass cc units in the game (if your thinkiing space wolves...jump off a cliff...now)

If after heresy then id prolly say Ultramarines just because they have an impressive record and all the other chapters have their faults or histories, space marines dont, they are true S.M.


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## Mentor_Legion (Jan 2, 2009)

Primarch Lord CAG said:


> dont be a Bitch join the Marines!!!!
> go U.S.M.C.!!!


Why you bashin' other service members.


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## wombat_tree (Nov 30, 2008)

are you guys crazy it wouldnt be fun youd be attacked by hordes of monsters and even if you survived and got a reputation for yourselves itd just meen youd have to face billions more monsters!


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## War$m!7H (Jun 20, 2008)

but thats the fun of it! cuz you get leet =D


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## Micklez (Nov 22, 2008)

Justicar Auarilius said:


> If after heresy then id prolly say Ultramarines just because they have an impressive record and all the other chapters have their faults or histories, space marines dont, they are true S.M.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not another Smurf fan :threaten:

Something that has always got me is that SM are suppost to leave their old life behind when they become SM. However, ive read loads of BL books where they still remember stuff from before (ie. the HH books as well as the Deathwing book, even the GK book has a little bit in there)


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## Primarch Lord CAG (Dec 5, 2007)

cause if your not a Marine your just another soft body to be thrown at hard walls! endless waves of IG/army comes to mind! and if your not in the marines or the army your not really in the military! 
send me to the front no one can defeat me!
only the strong should fight ha!


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## Mentor_Legion (Jan 2, 2009)

To bad I was ARMY Airborne Air Assault and I rained steel on your grunt head. Artillery the KING of Battle.


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## Captain Mike (Dec 24, 2008)

Would I want to be a marine? hmmm.

Pros:
*Insanely strong 
*Kill all aliens
*sense of duty
*no schoolwork

Cons:
*No real reward
*Don't get paid
*No rock music
*The thing about getting my meat and two veg removed.:no:

I'd say no. Now rogue trader, THERE'S a profession. 
"Lieutenant, you have the bridge. Me and *female officer* have something important to do"


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## Micklez (Nov 22, 2008)

Na, Inquisitor Lord is way better. The whole 'world will burn on whim' must be pretty cool, and who knows might be an afrodisiac in the 41st mellenium


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## Skye (Oct 22, 2008)

Nah I'd go fer astartes any day. Rock music, sexy noble dance parties, and the like are frowned upon. It might be YOUR planet the Inquisitor burns on whim :shok:
It's really kinda like the Catholic church during the crusades. And "shagging" is strictly for baby-making (no terminator brand condoms here, sorry) so what's the fun in that. If twenty women to my front means my planet burns then, uh, I'll skip thanks.
As for me I'd go Blood Angels fer sure. 
Ok I live on Baal, life sucks. You get in some combat training/ tournament *woo*:boredom: Oh and then you're put in a coffin, drink the blood of your brothers, party it out on Baal for a few, have a jolly ol' time, and then you're an immortal space vampire!
If I had the choice I'd have a jump pack and a relic blade too ^.^

Oooooor on the other hand I would go Space Wolf. Fenrisian ale anyone? Eternal Viking? Hell yes people.


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## Dirge Eterna (Apr 30, 2007)

Plus the Fenrisean way to celebrate is extreme eating/drinking, and waving of weapons. ^^

-Dirge


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## Micklez (Nov 22, 2008)

I stand corrected, SW it is then hehe
And besides, theres honour to be gained if you can eat and drink. So you could end up with a hangover, an over-full belly and a promotion to Brother-Captain all in the same night.


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## DarknessWithin (Jan 4, 2009)

Unknown Soldier said:


> Okay, the honour thing I can kind of understand, but if my 'personality' was erased, how would I know? Aside from the free medical coverage, the job has very few perks. 'Congratulations Captain, you single handedly saved the universe from the Ork invasion.', 'Cool, what do I get? Fame, money, chicks, my own Land Raider?', 'No, you get to fight some more until you die, then we're going to put your body in a mechanical metal coffin so you can fight some more and then die again and then when you finally die properly for the third time, your soul will be torn apart in the Warp by vengeful daemons', 'Neat-o!'


(died laughing. oh BTW my mechanical metal coffin is typing this)

If I was able to become a space marine I would (NO MORE SCHOOL!). Also I would be part of the Legion of the damned because the armour is awesome. And after about 100 years i would either: escape to live the next few hundred years watching T.V. or Join the chaos space marines, that way i can kill anyone that says Emperor without someone getting mad (after a hundred years of the word Emperor, you'd want to kill someone too)
DarknessWithin


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

indeed why do you think the legions turned in the heresy? emperor this, emperor that, id turn too


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## scolatae (Aug 25, 2008)

pylco said:


> Unknown Soldier:
> "A vasectomy isn't too bad, when in doubt, it just means you have your tubes snipped, your meat and two veg are still intact and functioning. You just can't impregnate anyone, which would make sense as they'd be a lot of mini-chapters around with the passing of the, er 'seed'."
> 
> I don't think there is any seed, left after chemotherapy, lots of steroids and drugs.In fact i don't think there is meat and veg also!!! So join the Guard where the REAL men serve!!


Don't you mean join the guard where the real men get killed? Amusing comments aside GOD YES. If you believe the fluff then not a weak goes by without some planet or another ends up being burnt, devoured etc so if given the chance of joining a group of super soldiers with bad ass guns and cool Armour making them virtually indestructible then... well you get the point.

and as for chapter has to be dark angels the only one with a definatley still alive primarch.:grin:


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## Skye (Oct 22, 2008)

scolatae said:


> and as for chapter has to be dark angels the only one with a definatley still alive primarch.:grin:


:alcoholic: Poor Sanguineous *tear*
At least he died honorably fighting Horus, even though he knew it would end his life.
And Russ is in the warp looking for the tree of life or whatnot.
At least they aren't buried under "The Rock" for Emperor knows how long :laugh:
Also who wants to chase around and kill "Traitors" who might be the Emperor's only hope. All while wearing a dress :taunt:


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## Initiate (Mar 25, 2007)

Whoareyou is right, you don't lose your personality at all depending on what chapter you are in. And who said anything about being torn apart by enemies. It is called a devastator squad, a hit and run squad of jump pack marines or bikes or a terminator squad.

So yes I would join, yes I have a very clear idea of space marine fluff and yes it would kick ass. 

To everyone saying being a eunuch is bad, when your a space marine, you won't even care. Joy to you would be saving your brothers' lives in the field of battle. The same things apply to the training and praying; you will love it and love the Emperor and love humanity. Sure if you were a noble you would get all the chicks and drinks and live a good life. But that is provided that the space marines save your ass before the planet gets raided and your entrails are next to mine on the DE Christmas tree. 

So basically, I believe that if you can punch through steel with your bare hands, wear 4 tonnes of armor and hold a miniature rocket launcher as your standard weapon, you will be able to hold out. As long as you don't think you are too cool for a helmet  

PS: I would join the Imperial Fists or the White Scars


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## Aenarian (Dec 28, 2008)

.... Spending the rest of my life surrounded only by big, muscly men...?

.... I wonder if the guard is recruiting.


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## Komrad (Oct 30, 2008)

I think a humble assault troop would be the choice :biggrin: 
and if that fails then the chapter master of the Dark Angels would be good enuff, im not fussy :victory:


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## Teranis (Oct 7, 2008)

Am I the only one who would want into the Inquisition?

Ordos Hereticus would be fun, dont have to deal with major threats like the Ordos Xenos or the Ordos Malleus, just hunt down and kill / recruit psykers before they even know they're psykers (yeah i know, its just as dangerous, but its just death, Malleus deal with losing their soul, and the Xenos face crap like dark eldar who will torture you for 200 years)

Inquisitors gain access to the full spectrum of age slowing drugs, so without getting killed, you have a nice 300-400 year lifespan.

Everyone fears you, you technically outrank the Astartes, cept the GK. Although I belive most inquisitors ask politely, and not demand things from the Astartes.

Still, bottom line, Ordos Hereticus is where its at.


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## EpicFailure (Jan 5, 2009)

I join the salamanders just too be radioactive/ have red eyes and burn anything it my path. I love flamers, and i love glowing red eyes... But which is better... BOTH


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## Captain Mike (Dec 24, 2008)

EpicFailure said:


> I join the salamanders just too be radioactive/ have red eyes and burn anything it my path. I love flamers, and i love glowing red eyes... But which is better... BOTH


I didn't know they were radioactive. Learn something new everyday!

Oh, and doesn't the Imperium have some body-boosting drugs for normal dudes. Plus bionics and armour (RT have a lot of money to throw around) you can get near marine status anyway. Whilst not going through indoctrination and the previously mentioned painful experiences (I'm talking about your pride)


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## thomas2 (Nov 4, 2007)

Would I want to be a Space Marine? Considering how brainwashed even the standard imperial citizen is, and how likely they'll be conscripted and die in battle, it's not like I've got anything to lose.

Though, as has been mentioned, being an Inquisitor would give less risks and more power and freedom.


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## delta13 (Feb 10, 2008)

good stuff guys ...lol...really funny


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## scolatae (Aug 25, 2008)

Skye said:


> :alcoholic: "Traitors" who might be the Emperor's only hope. All while wearing a dress :taunt:


Me, and it's a tabard. Any way at least he didn't abandon his legion.:taunt:


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## Gold170492 (Feb 12, 2008)

Mighty said:


> Yea I can agree with that but if a marrine asked me if I would undergo the recruitment process I'm not saying no.



Im not likely to say no.

Think about

Some giant superhuman come to you saying "Son, youve been chosen a great honour... we at (INSERET SM CHAPTER HERE) want you to have the great privalige of being a space marine. What do you say?"

Would you say "Yes sir, its a great honour sir" and live, fight and save the galixy hundreds of time before you die etc etc

Or do you say "Dont think so mate" and them become a smudge on the floor?

Hmm let me think...


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## crack3rjack3d (Mar 11, 2008)

*Attn: HR @ Adeptus Astartes*

Dear Administratvm,

My name is William Hamblin, I live on a horrible deathworld known as Unemployminatum Americum. I was just writing to say I hear the Adeptus Astartes are looking for neophytes- I was wondering if you could send the Doom Warriors to my world. I figure there are two possible ways this would help the Imperium.

(1). My planet, although not lacking in technology, savagery, or the insidious xenos Debtcollectoriovs Horribalvs is lacking in common sense. I believe it would be an excellent recruitment world for the Doom Warriors, Not only would the populations pre-existing understanding of hopelessness suit us towards the Doom Warriors gene seed, but it would also provide employment for it's inhabitants! (Which next to post dating non-existing credits is the only way to get the foul xenos to leave us alone!)

(2.) Assuming the Adeptus Astartes is not looking for neophytes, we still request you send the Doom Warriors along with our planetary requistion for some good old fashioned exterminatus extremis. We feel that our sacrifice would not only rid the sector of such an insidious xenos, but it would also stop the constant vox calls, which sap our will to live.

Eagerly awaiting a Battle Barge,
William Hamblin


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## Skye (Oct 22, 2008)

scolatae said:


> Me, and it's a tabard. Any way at least he didn't abandon his legion.:taunt:


Dude, the Templar wear tabards, you wear dresses.
And the Lion said he would join Horus if he proved Chaos could win. sounds like a wimp "go with the strongest not the rightest" move. 
But I'm just ragging on the Dark Angels bro :biggrin:


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## ThatRandomGuy (Jan 10, 2009)

luv to be space marine kick anybodys ass with a heavy bolter in my hand 
and for what chapter, gotta be the ultramarines!:mrgreen:
not shure about living for 400 years id lose all my facial epresions.


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## scolatae (Aug 25, 2008)

ThatRandomGuy said:


> luv to be space marine kick anybodys ass with a heavy bolter in my hand
> and for what chapter, gotta be the ultramarines!:mrgreen:
> not shure about living for 400 years id lose all my facial epresions.[/QUOTE
> 
> Why would it be the Ultramarines they all have realy big rods shuved up their arses.:ireful2: Go with the Dark Angels thats my advice. Or the space wolves yay for booze!!!!! :good:


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## LimitingFactor (Jan 11, 2009)

Soul Drinkers because they never leave their people to die alone.

World Eaters because they never let an enemy die alone.

I would not mind being an Eversor :victory:


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## Dagmire (Oct 9, 2008)

I hear they have their willys cut off, so no thanks.
If little Dagmire is dead I have no reason to live


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## Kendares (Sep 9, 2008)

why would they do that?!? guess it is true if you don't use it you lose it <:[


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## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

Primarch Lord CAG said:


> dont be a Bitch join the Marines!!!!
> go U.S.M.C.!!!





Primarch Lord CAG said:


> cause if your not a Marine your just another soft body to be thrown at hard walls! endless waves of IG/army comes to mind! and if your not in the marines or the army your not really in the military!
> send me to the front no one can defeat me!
> only the strong should fight ha!


I'm actually a Marine man. Don't be a dick, every service has its purpose. And besides you probably have no idea what it is to get your eagle globe and anchor.


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## Cabagepatch (Feb 4, 2009)

beenburned said:


> Nah. An eternity of war sounds like it'd get a bit boring after a while...
> 
> I'd rather sit here and eat cake.


but the cake is a lie....


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## Cabagepatch (Feb 4, 2009)

Ohh and to all you guys that said yes -blah blah blah-something about babes-blah blah blah- ... dude. Unless there are some genetically altered 'babes' that are designed to take on the massivness.... it aint happenin. 
ask any chick that... lmao! i mean seriously, we all know that if a SM is genetically enhanced as much as it is... it probably is altered down there as well... no b**** is gonna be able to take it (or want to), unless she too is altered to handle it. 


sry... just sayin



(this is all incorrect if the girl is the type that likes (and can handle without a heart attack) EXTREME pain and is kinky in the least)


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## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

hahaha. possibly true. But you could probably fix that with the new technology. But yah i wouldnt be a space marine if i couldnt get any chicks. I mean thats the best part of just being a united states marine.


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## AzraelJahannam (Jun 28, 2008)

Alright, firstly, this is a thread on if you had a chance to be a marines, so those saying "NO! I wanna be an inquisitor! or an eversor! or a Jedi knight from Lord of the rings lmao rolfrolf ttyl!!!111!!" theyre not asking about that, theyre asking whether or not you'd like to be a space marine.

Of course I'd love to be an Inquisitor, or an eldar, or a noble... etc etc... but this isn't about that, it's if you had a chance to go from being the everyday slobs we are, to being a FREAKING SPACE MARINE!!!

And as for all this discussion as to whether you keep your dongs, and the ability to use them, simple example to prove that you not only do, but that there are chapters that encourage it. Salamanders. They have wives. You don't have wives unless you can bang them. And they can't be the only chapter that practices such traditions. Space marines have the equipment and they're obviously in perfect working condition (afterall, you can't be the 'perfect pinnacle of humanity' without having a working gun between your legs). Can space marines reproduce? Probably not what with all the chemicals etc running through them, but who gives a shit? I don't want kids, I just want to be able to go through the motions. (though I wouldn't want to be salamanders... I mean... being the 'slow' marines of the class isn't so great... and... well, I like the light colour of my skin thank you very much... for lack of better way of putting it)

And regarding the psycho indoctrination taking away personality, memories, etc. READ the literature. They remember their lives before they were recruited, they make selfish decisions. They let their emotions get the better of them sometimes. And they sure as hell wouldn't be able to turn to chaos if they were just fleshy bots.

And failing loyalist marines, as was stated earlier, chaos marines have their perks, I mean, slaanesh, sure you get speakers implanted in your eyes.. but that daemonette tail... I mean, the metal versions that were just replaced... not those gothic lesbian rockers that fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch to the bottom. If I went chaos it would certainly be nice to go for daemon prince... I'd say slaanesh might be nice... still one hell of a killing machine.. but spending my off time in my lavish chambers being 'taken care of' by 10-20 eager daemonettes...

Oh.. and the whole never seeing the family again? Bah... I certainly don't give a crap...

So anyways.. you're not an eunuch, and there are evidently legions that do allow some... recreation with the opposite sex

you aren't completely brainwashed (hell you don't even believe the emperor is God)

You are an immense killing machine that glories in the depths of battle glutting your soul on the slaughter of hundreds of enemies before death... spending centuries traversing the stars... with freaking 2 hearts, an extra lung, the ability to SPIT ACID!!!!, improved mental processing capability, able to eat poison and love it, the ability to wear power armor hardwired to your brain... and a crapload of other biological perks... punch through walls and master martial arts with hands, close combat weapons, and firearms that you can only dream of...

and there's always the avenue of chaos and daemonhood... (oh those eager daemonettes...)

And your life actually means something. You are a glorious defender of humanity, an Angel of Death, servant of the emperor! bolter and chainsword, holy warrior!!!!!

Yes, I would jump at the chance to be a space marine, I would cry with joy as I cry in pain during the surgery. I would love every moment of my glorious life, weather it be a few centuries as a loyal defender of humanity, fighting the good fight, or if chaos, as eventually a mighty daemon prince of chaos, glutting my passion for bloodshed on the souls of the Imperium.

As for what chapter? well, of course I'd prefer to be a member of my own chapter that I've made up... (oh the available womens, the wings, the psykicness and the choppyness...) but since that's cheating... whatever chapter that would have that whole wives are allowed tradition like the Salamanders do... but are more like blood angels in every other aspect... Close combat psychotics... live longer lives than other marines on average... a little bit of extra danger from risk of going death company... Pale white skin... and borderline vampires. I like it.

And if it were chaos marines... well... any one that I'd be able to follow down to becoming a daemon prince and getting myself some pretty daemonette fun whenever I'm not stomping around killing droves of troops with the only negative effects of dieing being banishment to the warp where (oh no) I have to wait until I'm unbanished being surrounded by my loving daemonettes, eheh.

Space Marines FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

Wow i did not know that. Salamanders. I hope your not messen with us. That'd be neat. I just remember when loken in the horus series was talking to those two hot rembrancer chicks he didn't seem that interested in you know... But thats some good info.


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## The Sullen One (Nov 9, 2008)

Unknown Soldier said:


> Plus what if some 10 year old kid painted your armour all crappily and then put your picture on ratemymini.com?


Who say's he has to be ten, I'm an adult and my minis are pretty badly painted:cray:

As to the question though, much as I like Space Marines, they strike me as having two major flaws, one they can be incredibly arrogant, and two, the spend so much time repressing their humanity that the moment any of them stop for a cup of tea, and began to think of themselves they end up defecting to Chaos.

Personally I'd rather be part of Titan crew or a member of the inquistion.

As to Azraeljahannam's post about Space Marines being able to enjoy carnal pleasures, wouldn't there be the whole a weight ratios, after all they're eight feet tall and built like a brick privy.


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## Cabagepatch (Feb 4, 2009)

lol, i think we should bring this thread up to the attention of the GW designers. Who's with me?! (We Need Clearification!!!)


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## AzraelJahannam (Jun 28, 2008)

The Sullen One said:


> As to Azraeljahannam's post about Space Marines being able to enjoy carnal pleasures, wouldn't there be the whole a weight ratios, after all they're eight feet tall and built like a brick privy.


*sigh* you are truly correct Sullen One, I must admit, the marines must make a terrible sacrifice...

Their women have to ride them cowgirl!!!!! WHHOOOOOAAA!!!! :grin: *cough cough* but, anyways... arms that can rip the head off of a gaunt are just as suited to raise and lower the girlies if you know what I mean gents 

*hoping I didn't cross the border*


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## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

hahahahaha. Now thats what im talken about. Unlike in our world, its going to pay to breed out more children.


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## AzraelJahannam (Jun 28, 2008)

hell yeah, that's good genes that would be going to waste otherwise too (if space marine reproduction is possible). I mean, the babies wouldn't be space marines, but they'd have half of the the damn good genes their daddy needed to be accepted to be space marine


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## thomas2 (Nov 4, 2007)

Space marines are genetically human, so any children they have would be normal humans (though space marines are selected from the very best candidates and much of what made them a candidate is genetic). Of course with all the weird hormones in their body and extreme amounts of normal ones I'm not sure having children would be possible at all.


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## death-avenged (Feb 17, 2009)

Hell Yeah i would and if i said no they would probably kill me anyway :threaten:
would like to be an Raven Guard or one of their succesors as i think they rock:victory:


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

i would want to be a legionaire from the Great Crusade era, preferably iron warriors or death guard. imagine all the famous people you would see? the primarchs before their fall and the emperor up and about......dude im drooling already.


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## ssamoel (Jul 27, 2009)

Hell yeah,

I will choose world eaters.
But i will become a loyalist when i was on Istavan III


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## tony161 (Jan 27, 2009)

I really wouldn't want to be a marine, only 15 mins free time if that, a day. Although there'ssomethig about a 75.cal assult rifle that is really appealing.


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## Tigirus (Apr 13, 2008)

AzraelJahannam said:


> hell yeah, that's good genes that would be going to waste otherwise too (if space marine reproduction is possible). I mean, the babies wouldn't be space marines, but they'd have half of the the damn good genes their daddy needed to be accepted to be space marine


Woah... my mind is blown... 


This has given me insight into a whole new idea for renegade marines. 

So if they recruit people with certain genes wouldn't it be easier for the marines to leave their hoo-ha intact and make new marines the old fashioned way? They would pass their superior genes onto their children so they could also become marines. 

Although this does break the rules for a loyalist army as their supposed to sever all ties and live apart from those they protect. But this would make awesome fluff for a renegade marine army.


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## Samir_Duran (Apr 6, 2009)

hmmm... The funniest thing, that from all the armies of imperium, this is the safest choice XD if you get good company and survive as a scout.

Anyways, yes I would. Everything could be better than living in a world where you are one of ziliards... i would like to be one of thousand XD Still most marines really retain some of their personalities. this is shown in armor customization.

And when I'm a fully fledged marine, i would show some guys from the top, that i really like machines. When I go to Mars, i have 30 years or so of just learning the base things of mechanics, get an awesome new arms.

Which chapter? I think that Space Wolves and Salamanders would do ( space Wolves for their roughy attitude and allowance of alkochol, and a salamander cuz they can have families and have the best techmarines ^^). But yet, i would still like to be a Techpriest magos in making better than being a marine... maybe I'll live shorter but i am supposed to just work, less fighting ( of course if i won't go support the guard... then I'm screwed)


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## Deus Mortis (Jun 20, 2009)

Yes, and I'd like to be Dark Angels, 'cause then if some guardsmen asked me "Ermmmmmm..why are you here, Mr 8-foot-super-solider?" I could say "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you!"


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

Yes, only so I could become a Chaos Marine. 

My History and Personality would suddenly become less detailed and in depth. Though I'd become noticeably better in a a fight and be able to carry a Knife


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## Lopspoon (Jun 23, 2009)

Yes, but then I'd fall to chaos in about 3.5 seconds Death to the False Emperour


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## dark angel (Jun 11, 2008)

I''d end up as a World Eater but not just any World Eater i would be........wait for it.........ANGRON! Dum! Dum! Dum! :so_happy:


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## Holmstrom (Dec 3, 2008)

Well, let's see...

Would I want to be a genetically engineered super soldier who lives a life of interstellar combat against anything I please while wearing a suit of heavily armored power armor that can support a wide variety of incredibly powerful weaponry and if I am heavily wounded, whatever is left of me is scooped up to be placed inside an even bigger suit of power armor that would allow me run charge in to a wall of bullets without fear so I could pick up an alien, set it on fire, crush it and then finally throw it a football field away?

Hmmmmm...

Hell yeah! I'm unsure what chapter, though. Probably the traitor chapter I made for the tabletop because it's always fun to stick it to the man.


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## TerranRaida (Jul 28, 2009)

yes - i would want to go to probably the Dark Angels...also, to those who say the space marines are eunichs, well thats just not true, at least to the fluff i've read...i mean, being a 8ft tall super solder with a dong the size of my forearm? sign me up.


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## BloodAngelsfan (Jan 22, 2009)

Well,normally I would lodge the issue of not being able to interact with other people, but if I became a Space Marine,I would be mind wiped not to give a damn! so YES!!!!


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## Dire Wolf (Jul 16, 2009)

I would say yes. Beats being a waiter at a restaurant. Before that I must do things that a Space Martine cannot do in order to not to regret it. Being a Space Marine would be kickass for me but I think it would be a funny situation with a Space Marine Captain of a company I belong to talking to my parents who will be concerned with school.

For the chapter Either Space Wolves or Dire Wolves (A Chapter I will be starting after finishing my CSM).


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## High Marshall Mendark (Jan 25, 2009)

Fuck yeah!!

just a thought-what if a sister of battle hooked up with a marine, would that create like an uber baby marine/sister that looks at nids and they instantly die??

for chapters, well big surprise, black templars

chop, chop, chop, chop, shoot, chop!!


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

High Marshall Mendark said:


> just a thought-what if a sister of battle hooked up with a marine, would that create like an uber baby marine/sister that looks at nids and they instantly die??


A) Sisters of Battle are devout followers of the emperor, and pure humans. They revere him as a GOD, whereas marines look upon him more as a big daddy. That difference in belief would probably bar any 'hooking up'

B) Marines are mules. They cannot reproduce, since this is not required for a weapon to be able to do. If you need more marines, you build them.

C) IF a marine and a sister would hook up, and IF marines weren't mules, Then the result would either be some horrible mutant thing that it's mom would fry as soon as it came out of her, if the marine genes were transferrable. OR it would be a normal human, since marine bits are added later into the body, and not part of the reproductive cycle.

For any other questions, I refer to a happily dead thread about marines and reproduction.

As for wanting to be a marine.. no thank you.. if I could choose to be something in the 40K universe, I'd rather be an inquisitor I think.


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## Brother Emund (Apr 17, 2009)

Be a Marine.. hummm, let me think?
Get up, pray, breakfast, gym, battle cages, lunch, pray, firing range, pray, kit on, board ship, drop pod, battle, maim-kill-slaughter, back on ship, shower, grub, pray and then off to bed.
Yeah, I could handle that.

A son of Sanguinius would be good :good:


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## Brother Mathias (Aug 5, 2009)

I'd do it, and I'd join the Black Templars, since I can't join my custom Chapter, or Raven Gaurd, since black power armor looks so cool! :biggrin:


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## vacantghost (Feb 16, 2008)

Ehm, although i do love the space marines but knowing a life that exists only for all is kinda dull and sad in ways and, the life long abstinence is torture. I guess not


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## Brother Subtle (May 24, 2009)

i like sex wayyyyy to much to be a space marine.
sorry emperor.

although if you were gay you could always be an ultramarine? dont they make sweet sweet man love on long trips in the abyss? ;o)
it gets so lonley in space P


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## Farseer Ulthris (Sep 6, 2008)

I would like to be a Grey Knight, because not only do I love Psykers I slso like their fancy equipment especially their nemesis force weapons. Even though I would dread having my memories and personality erased.


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## Azkaellon (Jun 23, 2009)

Hell no! make the smart move and join the eldar or tau.....


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## Brother Subtle (May 24, 2009)

^ eldar are stuck up snobs... and probably have little peckers.


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## Azkaellon (Jun 23, 2009)

Brother Subtle said:


> ^ eldar are stuck up snobs... and probably have little peckers.


Bring it on Muscle boy!:taunt:


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## Lucien7 (Jun 29, 2009)

Black Templars definately


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## Engelus (Jul 26, 2007)

Ultramarine in the fourth company. 

I want Uriel Ventris to be my captain.


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## Lucio (Aug 10, 2009)

If I'm on a death, hive, or feral world definitely. Dark Angels.


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## Virus49 (Aug 7, 2009)

The blood angels on the off chance I become permanently trippy thinking im sanguinuus. Of course id accept!


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## jimmyhoppityhop (Aug 10, 2009)

heck i would, kick some ass, i could blast some orks away, for the chapter, salamanders! green paint ftw


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## BLvice (Mar 20, 2009)

Let me be a goddamn Lord Inquisitor or a powerful psyker so I can at least blow shit up with my mind before I get possessed and shot in the head!


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## Ste (Aug 28, 2008)

If i had nothing then yes, Black Templars or Raven Guard. If i had a good life on planet 'x' then no. I'd rather live in a secur environment on the upper parts of a hive city, being a nice cushy noble  beers, foods, cakes, sex.... marines can't have cake they'l get fat XD


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