# 40k Funnys



## Judas Masias (Jun 5, 2008)

:goodpost::laugh: 40K Funnies

This is from a friend of mine at my local gameing store.

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Good ways to get yourself killed in the 40k universe. (In funny situations) 

Try and convince an inquisitor that the Chaos Gods aren't that bad 
Shout "NOOB!!!" at an Ultramarine 
Tell the emporer that the Horus Heresy was the funniest event in history 
Tell any loyal human that the Horus Heresy was the funniest event in history 
Have a staring contest with Slaanesh 
Insult an Emporers Children's "Manly" Pink armor 
Shout "I'm a heretic" at a GK Dreadnought 
Deep Strike into a forest 
Challenge a Vindicare assassin to a Sniping contest 
Join the Imperial Guard 
Tell a Khorne beserker to calm down 
Annoy a Titan Crew 
Headbutt a Chaos Space Marine 
Moon a terminator squad. 
Call a 'Big Boss' he's short. 
TP the Emperor's Palace. 
Play hide and seek in a necron crypt. 
Play tag with a commisar (you have to tag him and run away). 
Call shadowsun a 'he'. 
Give marneus calgar a prostate check. 
Tell a sister of battle they need to lose weight. 
tell the speed freaks red things dont go faster 
tell the eldar that slaanesh really is a nice guy 
get within line of sight of a bloodthirster 
mistake spore mines for spaghetti and meatballs 
Tell that Beserker he's to much of a wuss to chop you're head off 
Look at an Ork funny 
Check down the barrel of a Leman Russ if it doesn't fire 


Here are some pics 

The Emperor and Sons 
http://i33.tinypic.com/rlxjr6.jpg 

What Chapter are you from 
http://i38.tinypic.com/2cih4ht.gif


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## TheUnmarked (May 19, 2008)

Put Raspberry juice in a Sanguinary Priests Goblet
Tell a dark angel you know his secret
Try to shave a frensian wolf


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## Druchii in Space (Apr 7, 2008)

I think I just found my new fave 40K humour pic.

Dang that Emperor and sons is awesome. :biggrin:


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## Critta (Aug 6, 2008)

The Emperor and sons one is great. Still - spot the mistake, there's someone missing


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## Digg40k (Sep 7, 2008)

Critta said:


> The Emperor and sons one is great. Still - spot the mistake, there's someone missing


The only thing I can see is that Vulkans name is half cut off at the bottom? It's a brilliant pic though!


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## Critta (Aug 6, 2008)

Nope, not that Digg.

As a clue.. all 18 legions are indeed covered. There is still a primarch missing, who is it?


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## Alexander Darkblade (Sep 16, 2008)

you could always of course tella commisar to shut up...buuuuuut then hed just execute u xD

lol i liked the yell NOOB at an ultramarine one.


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## Inquisitor Aurelius (Jun 9, 2008)

Critta said:


> Nope, not that Digg.
> 
> As a clue.. all 18 legions are indeed covered. There is still a primarch missing, who is it?


Hint: begins with O.

Personally, I found "What Chapter" funnier. Though I must say, I love the look on Perturabo's face. Heh.


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## Critta (Aug 6, 2008)

A few others I just thought of to add to the list at the top:
Remind Comissar Yarrick that Xenos weaponry is heretical
Shout "here doggy!" to a flesh hound
Tell a platoon of imperial guardsmen that their stupid flashlights couldn't hurt a fly
Invite Kharn the Betrayer down the pub for a drink
Give Grandfather Nurgle a hug
Try to kickflip a Hellion jetboard


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## Alex (Jan 19, 2008)

I've got a whole load of these kind of jokes off loads of websites on my other computer. Haven't seen any of these before though their good, specially the primarchs picture :biggrin:.


Critta said:


> The Emperor and sons one is great. Still - spot the mistake, there's someone missing


Got to be Omegon. 
And of course the 2 other primarchs, they are probably hidden in one of the cupboards. 

Love the What Chapter one as well. +rep.


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## TheUnmarked (May 19, 2008)

no there are also certain twin Primarchs of which only one is shown here the other clue was the O, However I have decided not to give it away.

and for some more ways to get killed in the 41st millennium:

Barge into a Sisters of battle barracks while they are changing
Give Khorne beserkers 10 cans of daemon energy (like a big can of red bull) each 
hang your clothes up on a Chaos terminators spikes
borrow the gauntlets of ultramar to play wicket keep with
bust some moves out with masque 
play hide and seek with Kor'Sarro Khan 
stand under a falling drop pod and say "it has to scatter awa...."


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## Wraithian (Jul 23, 2008)

Tell a daemonette she was hotter in metal.


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## Inquisitor Aurelius (Jun 9, 2008)

TheUnmarked said:


> no there are also certain twin Primarchs of which only one is shown here the other clue was the O, However I have decided not to give it away.


Bit late, china - Alex already got it.



Wraithian said:


> Tell a daemonette she was hotter in metal.


Sometimes, sacrifices must be made in the name of Truth...


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

where's omegon?! love lorgar in the backround and perturabo screwing with dorn's legos lol angron biting his foot is great! 

i love how simple deepstriking into a forest is but its so damn funny! the best has to be calling a big boss short:laugh:


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## Digg40k (Sep 7, 2008)

Whats Leman Russ apparently in love with?


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## Druchii in Space (Apr 7, 2008)

Might have been drawn before the Alpha Legion book?


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## KellysGrenadier (Jul 13, 2008)

Ask Howling Banshees if chocolate will help.


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

leman russ is holding a puppy lmfao!:laugh:


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

Russ is enamored with the fire hydrant lol


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## Djinn24 (Jan 12, 2008)

Throw a stick in front of a Space Wolf and tell him to go fetch.
Accidently go to the throne room, thinking it is the bathroom
Tella Dark Angel to quit being so moody
Challenge a White Scar's biker to a race
Tell a 1k Sons to take off his armor and chill for a bit
Accidently drink a Blood Angel's "Tomato" juice
Snap a SoB's bra strap
Tell a Grey Knight that Silver was so last millenium


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## zahariel (Feb 28, 2008)

these are brilliant got anouther one 
tell marneus calgar that hes papa smurf


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## Wraithian (Jul 23, 2008)

Call a Grey Knight a, "Bling Marine."

Ah yes... A thread to help aid the occasionally stagnant wit at the local game store... :biggrin:


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

tell angron he needs anger management
ask a space wolf if you could scratch behind his ear
ask a space marine if he's gotten any
tell the sisters of battle you're there to give them a physical


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## Col. Schafer (Apr 15, 2008)

Yell "Catfight!" in the middle of a battle between the SOB's and slaneshe deamonetts.


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## gwmaniac (Sep 1, 2008)

call a terminator fat and slow


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## Critta (Aug 6, 2008)

Just to go to some picture based ones, people have probably seen these before, but thought I'd add some of the more amusing ones I've seen lately


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## Druchii in Space (Apr 7, 2008)

Hehehe, love the 'wait till you see the bad guys' one, the 5th ed Necron is cool as well. :biggrin:

Heres a few I've got, I have put some in the Motivational thread, but this thread is dedicated to 40K humour, so I thought I'd repost some.


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## surreal-mind (Oct 11, 2008)

fire a plasma gun randomly into the sky nonstop


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## CGall10 (Nov 4, 2007)

what chapter is the cosplay guy from..... lol


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## hells_fury (Apr 17, 2008)

the "dont have to take it seriously all the time" what show are those chicks from, they look strangely familiar.


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## revenant13 (Feb 15, 2008)

here are some other funnies


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## revenant13 (Feb 15, 2008)

and here are a few more


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## Druchii in Space (Apr 7, 2008)

Cosplayer is an Ultramarine, but I think ye was joking. 

As to the two girls Hells, no idea sadly, just found it on another forum I go to on the rare occasion.


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## Judas Masias (Jun 5, 2008)

Tell a Battle Sister that you are a self tought gyenagolgist (sorry can't spell ) and that you give free exaims.


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## willem the beterthan (Dec 28, 2008)

my favorets are 
empors children 
the wat leagon are you thing
eldar the other wight meat
and the comasar thing:biggrin: im defanetley geting one of thoes female comasars naw

i dident get the one with the to litel girels that were dresd as a tau


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## Gavalon the Great (Jan 1, 2009)

* Try and smear Grecian 2000 on a Grey Knight.

* Take a berzerker to Anger Management classes.

* Ask a Daemonette out to "paint the town beige".

* Offer a Death Guard marine a handkerchief.

* Ask a Word Bearer if there's an illustrated version of the Writings of Lorgar.

* Give a Noise Marine a Barry Manilow CD for Xmas
(cos even pure Chaos has its limits).


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## willem the beterthan (Dec 28, 2008)

tel slanesh he/she is fat


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## Caledor (Jan 15, 2008)

Ask Tzeentch how many fingers your holding behind your back

Shout _Chaos Forever_ to a GK

Tell Khorne he's a wuss

Polish a plague marines armour

Invent something new and show the Mechanicus


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## ACoz (Oct 23, 2007)

Inquisitor Aurelius said:


> Hint: begins with O.
> 
> Personally, I found "What Chapter" funnier. Though I must say, I love the look on Perturabo's face. Heh.


Maybe the picture was done before the book _Legion_ came out and ruined the Alpha Legion with all that Twin Primarchs silliness?


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