# Lonely ork trying to find love, but cupid has a BS of 2.



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

Hi, I'm Nazzruk, 
I like raw steak dinners, red things, fungus beer, punching tau, telling grots what to do, punching tau, long drives in the country that end in bloody hand to hand combat, beautiful vistas may or may not have been set on fire already, ripping open vehicles with a power klaw so I can punch the tau inside and long waaaghs on the beach.

I dislike long walks (can't we just take a trukk), Eldar, Tau, Humies, Orks that aren't me, Racists, people who are bigger then me, people who have better guns then I do, people who get to drive the trukk.

I can describe myself, as 5'7 (6'3 if I stand up straight) muscular, and green, I have been told I have piggy eyes and a nice smile. On a normal day I can be seen wearing pants and my helmet, on special occasions I am known to steal a shirt.

I am looking for a girl who is a good listener and conversationalist, for a nonsexual relationship (it is a personal choice, not that I'm not packing or anything) Physical appearance isn't important to me, but if your not fit and stacked please don't reply. Any race except tyrannid, I have had bad experiences, but green preferable.



Wait what do you mean its not that kind of warhammer community...:shok:


----------



## Valanehtar (Sep 10, 2009)

buckythefly said:


> long waaaghs on the beach.


That's some golden comedy right there...lmao.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

Maybe you should punch a Tau and steal that flashlight thingie of theirs.. give it to Cupid.. and he might improve his Balistic Skill


----------



## rokar4life (Jun 21, 2008)

buckythefly said:


> long waaaghs on the beach.


I think I peed' a little when I read that


----------



## maddermax (May 12, 2008)

:laugh: Awesome, just awesome.


----------



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

@ Everyone, Hope you like it, for some reason I was compelled...

@ Einar Cupid's Arrow S10 AP1 Assault 1, Give him a targeter and everyone would get along! O_O


----------



## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

Hi I'm Zarraf'tharog,

I'm a Possessed Marine of the Word Bearers Legion. I like ripping people apart in new and exciting ways, praying to Lorgar and the Chaos Gods, discussing religious matters, hunting anything for fun, going to church and barbecue.

I dislike every damnable Xeno, the weak Imperial Guard and the foolish Space Marines, but most of all the Ultramarines. I'm not fond of shooting either, though if its a "Nurgle's Spitting Contest" then I'm in. I always beat those Death Guard guys, they can't spit too far, but boy does it boil...

I can describe myself as a 7"-ish male in glorious power armour, a young, pale and gothic handsome face that is typical of my Legion. Well, normally, because if the Daemon bound inside me awakens I turn into a killing machine with huge claws and jaws that rip through rock as if it was candy.

I'm looking for a compassionate and lively girl of the Faith, except for Slaanesh (they just can't get off your ass and well not all of them have factory settings if you know what I mean), especially Emperor's Children (they just won't shut up). Anyone who is not prepared for lots of killing, praying, running, sex and drinking please don't reply. Converted Sisters in advantage.


I thought I'd join in. I like it. :laugh:


----------



## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

This thread was cool and its getting cooler


----------



## shas'o_mi'ros'kai (Jun 16, 2008)

Greetings, I am Shas'vre Kor'vias
I am 19 cycles old, 5'5", young, fit, energetic, and love my technology. I like to use and XV25 Stealth Suit, since for years I have been searching ahead to see if I could find my one and only.

I like to be with my friends, be with my robot friends, be with my non-Tau friends, except for that green one, he's a bit icky. I like to shoot down those pesky Gue'la that don't join the Greater Good, take Grok'thar on walks, I also collect insects and preserve them, I have over 60 kinds of them.

I dislike when people try to hit me with violence and aggression, it really hurts and it always leaves a dent in my armour. I dislike my drones always missing their target. I also don't like it when people say no to us, that really hurts, down to the heart. Oh, I also really hated when that "Inquisition" took my friend Vre'Juy'op and stuck a skull probe up his excretory entrance.

I may look old school, shabby and a tad-bit silly in my armour, but when I take it off, I'm a really nice guy.

I want to meet a girl who has the same enthusiasm to see the galaxy as I do, as well as meet new people with me and have a fun time gathering the galaxy as one socialist nation for the Greater Good. I'll go out with anyone that is of humanoid form, preferable Tau but Eldar are fine, no green people, mutated or religiously fanatic.

Hey, someone had to do it.


----------



## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

LOL poor 'nids aren't getting any. :laugh:


----------



## Sytus (Aug 27, 2009)

Grrrwwlwlwll,
Igrrrr.
Argwlll grrrr gr grskrr sniksniksnik.Raaaaaaaaaaawwllll.
Grawp nerrr gr sninksnik.Rawl grrr reaaak,snik.

[Translation:
I am a lonely Norn-queen looking for love.
I'm large,sluggish,and looking for love.
I love biomass,hate technology.I've got a large and welcoming family,and I want to meet a nice tyrant be with for the rest of my time.]


----------



## Ultramarine Mad (Aug 31, 2009)

Hi, I am Broodlord Ripper.

I am 18, have huge claws and love to rip people apart. I am looking for a Hive Tyrant that will help me kill all other life. I am very popular and have 12 friendly Genestealers who follow me everywhere. 

If you do choose me, be careful, I may rip you to shreds if you anger me. 

( Translated from a load of nonsense.)


----------



## Euphrati (May 24, 2009)

*(sounds of scraping and shuffling) Is it on? Well, the little red light is blinking... I don't know Raegina, if you hadn't torn the marine's head off like that we wouldn't be having these problems now would we? Oh, don't roll your eyes at me; you know you always kill them too soon. There! I think I have it now...(some giggling and a few 'shhh!'s)*

Hi! My name is Viktorie and I’m a single daemonette looking for that right guy(s).

I'm tall, athletic, and a great dancer. I love reality TV shows, blogging, loud music, and shopping at Hot Topic (*_Oh! Did you see those new heels I got the other day Vikkie? _Hush Rae! I'm in the middle of something here!*). I'm a red head (*_She isn't natural though!_ RAE!*). I love animals but I’m not very good with kids. 

I love to party and I'm up for just about anything. I'm really flexible (*_Really she is!_ Rae! Shhhh!*) although I’m not really into Plague Marines (*_Eww!_*). Oh, and you must be open to, um, new experiences and 'recreational' drugs. I don't go anywhere without my girlfriends, but you are welcome to bring along some friends of your own (*giggles*). Call me and we can get together some time!

*(Ok, how do you turn this thing off? Rae! I know he is still warm but could you help me here? Ok I thin... _static_)*


----------



## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

Hmm... I sense RAEP dere...


----------



## MaidenManiac (Oct 2, 2008)

:rofl:
This is good stuff, specially buckythefly and Euphratis posts:laugh:


----------



## Col. Schafer (Apr 15, 2008)

Helow I'm Frederick addison, 12th company 56th cadian. I'm looking for a girl that wont kill me on sight and is willing to travel the galaxie constantly though hotly contested warzones full of dangerous things of all description, and is ok with the odd bit of friendly fire. I'm looking for a long term relationship so a healthy fear of commisars is a bonus. 

I hate/ am afraid of tau, tau battlesuits, tau tanks, railguns, kroot, vespid, kroot hounds, other tau vihicles, tau weapons in general, tau tech-heresy, nechrons, nechron lords, scarabs, scarab swarms, destroyers, destroyer lords, MONOLITHS, eldar, scary shooty eldar, scary stabby eldar, scary mindfuck eldar, flying eldar, eldar tanks, scary rape eldar, orks, nobz, grots, ork guns that work, ork chopy things, ork vihicles that make orks closer to me, conscripts that dont stop the orks in time, chaos space marines, nurgle chaos space marines, khorne chaos space marines, slaneshe chaos space marines, tzench chaos space marines, scorcerers, chaos space marine lords, chaos space marine terminators, chaos space marine lords in terminator armor, daemon princes, greater daemons, lesser daemons, daemon machines, daemons in general, Tyranids, big tyranids, little tyranids, tyranids that eat you, tyranids that shoot things at you, tyranids that shoot things at you that eat you, big tyranids that shoot things at you that eat you then shoot more things at you then eat you, GEANSTEALERS, all psykers, and rap.

I dont want to date a commisar because that would be scary. But I will if you tell me to. Unless thats not what I'm suposed to do and its a test. Or I will if thats what I'm suposed to think. Or If I'm suposed to think its a test and its not, but it really is I wil... *PLEASE DONT SHOOT ME!!!*

I love long walks on the beach that dont end with me being ambushed, shelled, sniped, assaulted, stabbed, attacked by wild creatures, raped by scary eldar, sacrificed to chaos gods, comeing into contact with commisars, fighting tyranids, fighting orks, seeing leftover chaos debauchery, exposed to chemical warefare, virus bombed, orbitaly bombarded in any way, or stubbing my toe. 

Girls who like flowers is a bonus, we just came to a death world and there are lots of flowers of various colors, and the tech priests say only about 65% of them are toxic.


----------



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

You guys are amazing, Bonus points for everyone who ran with it and participated, I've been laughing my ass off with every post.


----------



## Shovan (Sep 24, 2009)

Hello, My name is untranslatable by your 'human' standards so, for now, just call me Fred. As of late I've become rather lonely, I know the stereotype 'All bugs look the same and all make the same popping noise when you kill them." Well the first part is true. We all look the same and I'm looking or something a little different.

But enough about that. More about me. I can be between 3 feet or 7 feet depending on my evolutionary pattern, I can have a lot of scales or none at all, I can have face tentacles or just a lot of teeth, two hands or four, the possibilities are endless!

I enjoy visiting new planet and leaving them completely void of life upon leaving. I love hanging out with the millions of my brothers and sisters. I fear my mother, the queen, and thankfully I barely see her. I enjoy eating... anything. I also enjoy running aimlessly around until I find something to kill and/or eat. 

I dislike bullets, I think I still have a few stuck in my chitin. I also dislike any metal my teeth can't penetrate. I HATE daemons... they don't even taste good. But most of all, I cannot stand power weapons, they hurt me so -Cry-.

I'm looking for a someone whom I could spend a lot of time with, who can be impregnated with my spore, and most of all wouldn't mind losing a limp or two if I get a little hungry. And for those of you who are into the freaky stuff, I have many bio-morphs to suite your 'every' need. -Wink-


----------



## trog (Apr 6, 2009)

(a hansom black leather coat passes the screen as the occupent places a beaked hat onto a stool off screen)

Yes hello, My name is Judas, Senior commisar of the Valhallin 26th conscript platoon.

I enjoy Order & disapline, long 5 Kilometer runs under tracer fire in the snow, instilling hope & insperation to the men i lead. summery exicutions of heritics,deserters & Xenos. when i put the cap down i do enjoy Quiet cups of tea with my cat while cleaning my gun, and skiing.

looking for a strong, loyal & religious woman. I know Commisars are feared but it gets so lonely and job satisfaction can only warm your heart so much non smoker prefurred and absolutly no mutents or xenos.


----------



## Col. Schafer (Apr 15, 2008)

Helow my name is Adept Adrian, I'm a mechanicus adept looking for a woman, or machine I'm not picky, willing to share a few nights in the manufactorium crunching numbers or instructing servitors. A sence of humer is a bonus, I love jokes. 

Heres a little teaser: There are 10 kinds of people, those who speek binary and those who dont. 

Please no tau, as I find your lack of respect for technology revolting. I hate to be that guy, but it has to be said. And please dont call me racist, I mean you people are asking for it! Drones without souls or proper sanctioning is asking for trouble! And dont even get me STARTED on railguns, those things are a critical meltdown waiting to hapen. 

And thats not even your bad taste in alies, its bad enoughf being Xenos, but letting other Xenos join your colective? Why couldnt you just roll over and DIE *you filthy*-

*Ahem*

Please no tau.


----------



## unxpekted22 (Apr 7, 2009)

lol, awesome. +rep


----------



## shas'o_mi'ros'kai (Jun 16, 2008)

Col. Schafer said:


> Helow my name is Adept Adrian, I'm a mechanicus adept looking for a woman, or machine I'm not picky, willing to share a few nights in the manufactorium crunching numbers or instructing servitors. A sence of humer is a bonus, I love jokes.
> 
> Heres a little teaser: There are 10 kinds of people, those who speek binary and those who dont.
> 
> ...


8D *applies within*


----------



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

Adept Adrian has some serious anger issues...


----------



## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

HI, I'M KHORAGG, A BERSERKER OF KHORNE. 

MOST OF ALL I LIKE YELLING, SHOUTING, AND OF COURSE, GUTTING PEOPLE. INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, I'M FOND OF EDUCATED SPEACH; HOWEVER, EVERYONE THINKS THAT MY LIFE IS ALL ABOUT SCREAMING "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!" ALL DAY LONG, WHICH IS TRUE TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, BUT I BEG TO DIFFER. JUST BECAUSE I'M LOUD AND BLOOD-SOAKED THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE A SENSITIVE HEART.

I DISLIKE THE NECRON BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST CREEPY METAL WUSSES WITH GUNS; THE TAU BECAUSE THEY'RE WUSSES WITH GUNS AND WIERD SUITS; THE ELDAR BECAUSE THEY'RE WUSSES WHO'RE SCARED TO GET LAID BECAUSE SLAANESH IS ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT; THE ORKS BECAUSE DEEP DOWN THEY'RE ALL WUSSES, I MEAN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE RUN SO FAST WHEN THEIR WARBOSS GOT KILLED? OH AND OF COURSE LOYALIST SCUM, BECAUSE THE EMPEROR IS FOR PANSIES, REAL MEN WORSHIP CHAOS.

I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO SHARES MY SITUATION, A KINDRED SPIRIT WHO DOESN'T MIND ME YELLING ALL THE TIME (I'M SORRY I CAN'T HELP IT) AND IS INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DEPTH. NOISE MARINES AND TZEENTCHIAN SORCERERS IN ADVANTAGE.

OH AND BY THE WAY I JUST WANTED TO ADD THAT---*transmission broken due to input device sustaining critical damage in its audio processors*


----------



## wombat_tree (Nov 30, 2008)

Hi, my name is Ar'reakort the Defiler

I'm a young Plauge Marine of 14,072 years of age. I enjoy Despoiling worlds, unleashing plauges of epidemic proportions, farting, 'forgeting' to shower, punching Tzeentch in the face and generaly having a ton of disease packed fun.

I'm looking for a young lady (around the 13,000s) to continue my quest to consume all worlds with the plauges of our great father.

Please, no followers of the Grand Schemer, and no Berserkers unless you will SHUT THE **** UP.


----------



## rokar4life (Jun 21, 2008)

wombat_tree said:


> Hi, my name is Ar'reakort the Defiler
> 
> I'm a young Plauge Marine of 14,072 years of age. I enjoy Despoiling worlds, unleashing plauges of epidemic proportions, farting, 'forgeting' to shower, punching Tzeentch in the face and generaly having a ton of disease packed fun.
> 
> ...


Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but, I think the furthest you can go back is like 12000, because the Heresy was only 11000 years back if I remember correctly


----------



## KarlFranz40k (Jan 30, 2009)

rokar4life said:


> Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but, I think the furthest you can go back is like 12000, because the Heresy was only 11000 years back if I remember correctly


Yeah I think you're right on that point.


----------



## Varakir (Sep 2, 2009)

Greetings,

My name is brother Va'kir, seargent of the salamanders 3rd company.

I enjoy burning heretics,traitors, all manner of xenos, and sometimes the dinner! LOL! (only joking, i can cook a mean spaghetti bolognase with my multi melta).

I am looking for miss right for fun and friendship, to share imperial approved conversation and long walks on the beautiful lava-spewing, volcanic ash covered beaches of nocturne. A fondness for huge, slippery reptiles is a plus (*not a euphamism!*).

I am an attractive but friendly looking guy, around 8' 7", coal black skin and demonic red eyes. Seeking someone exactly the same*, but i'm not picky!

Hoping this can flourish into a wonderful relationship, if you are the right girl i might even let you touch my hammer! *(NOT A EUPHAMISM!)*

-Va'kir

*Orks, tau and tyranids do not be afraid to reply, I will not melt you on my doorstep (honest)


----------



## cheef3 (Aug 8, 2009)

(translated cliks and screeching from a adio recorder on perch, some was unrecoverable) 
I'm to'g rot'r kroot mercanary, 
im looking for sshshsh woman who can gdgdgdg and enjoys what i enjoy. 

I love money, killing gaurd, big guns,kkopokop, messin wit tau, killing gaurd, ambushing marines, frfrfr, killing gaurd, hunting with kroot hounds on shiptrap island, popopop, killin gaurd, eating my victums, pplplpplpl,and spending time with a special lady while killin gaurd. 

I hate ap6 and below, tyranids, gaurdsmen that dont die, more tyranids, shaper iiuiyuy, even more tyranids, peeps thet dont pay me and dont taste that good anyway, kleaning my yard of grots with a goading stick on fire, all orks , genestealers, and tau that cant take a joke. 

I am 7ft i think, dark green skin,beautifully long head spikes, look slender but can bench press 325lbs, irrgcjekfkjfuy, and lastly very lonely. 

looking for kroot women, or mayby some other xenos, please no gyhitughyiugujyj, gaurd,nids, or orks. 

-juiyyoyjiyiuyi(static)


----------



## Lord_Murdock (Jul 16, 2008)

Felicitations.

I am Grand Exalted Uber General Augustus Theodore Klaus VonBlumenfaust of the planet Macharia. I am tall, bald, and weigh in excess of 600 pounds. I am not fat. I enjoy quadruple-double-cheeseburgers, gold plated armour, gold in general, and big fancy important-looking hats. I'm about 100 years old, but I'm not sure as I've lost count sometime after my 97th birthday. I am rich beyond most peoples' wildest dreams, and I usually dislike fighting (unless someone scratches the hand-painted murals on my armour). I leave the fighting to my subordinates.

I'm looking for... anyone. Humans only. (EDIT: change that to "Humanoids only," just don't tell the Commissar ) As long as you're drop-dead gorgeous and wish to lead a life of ease, you're Miss Right! If you enjoy traveling to distant planets to wage unprovoked war on just about anyone, that's a bonus.

No Inquisitors or overly religious Sisters of Battle. For... various reasons. Just for the record, I'm not a coward, I just enjoy being counted among the living, and members of the Inquisition would probably not approve of my trading with the Tau, fleeing from hopeless battles, having an Eldar pen pal, socializing with Orks, or possibly being a heretic. (EDIT: I do not do any of that! Just saying...). 

Thanks for reading. Call me! Please...


----------



## Doombringer 1 (Sep 1, 2009)

Greetings

I am Lord Commissar Czevak. I enjoy nothing too do with Chaos or Xenos, unless it involves killing them. I have lots of friends in my regiment, who are always scared when I speak to them for some reason. If you step out of line, I shall execute you too show your friends to behave. 

I can offer high exploration, if you don't mind fighting crazy chaos. Please no Tau, Eldar, Dark Eldar, Daemons, Chaos Space Marines, Orks or the Sisters of Battle I uh messed around with when I was younger.... never mind that shall go into my mind only.

Thank you for listening. For the Emperor.


----------



## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Col. Schafer said:


> And dont even get me STARTED on railguns, those things are a critical meltdown waiting to hapen.


Er, Plasma guns much..?
At least Tau Plasma guns don't overheat 



Hi, my name is -horrid screeching noises-.
I am blue, insectoid, have 6 eyes, and big claws; I stand about 1.6 metres tall.
I can beat my wings about 3,000 times a second, amongst other, more personal things, and have multi-spectral vision.

I enjoy working for my Queen, and digging.
I also like moulting occasionally, and drifting on gas flows.

I'm looking for a girl who likes control of a relationship, and is significantly larger than myself.
Beekeepers preferred, if not, find yourself a smoke machine, it helps.

Any takers can request my release to my Queen.


----------



## Aktar09 (Apr 4, 2009)

erm, hello

My name is not prononceable in this language, but don't let that disuade you. I'm 7-8ft tall, have the strength of a space marine, am reallly fit(well....really thin anyway), and I'm looking for someone preferably not alive( the Lords say that we should hate the living and I must obey the Lords),for standing around in dark tomb complexes for millions of years with billions of metal skinned guys who look exactly like me, and then striding forth to flay unfortunates alive with my weird green laser gun(although this can be used in other ways... heh heh heh).I'm very patient and a strong silent type of person
Note Immortals or really long lived people only.


----------



## Trevor Drake (Oct 25, 2008)

Hello there kindred souls, Lord Inquisitor Ein Meridius Drake, loyal servant of the God-Emperor and Judge of the Ordos Hereticus. I am perhaps the youngest member of my order to hold such a position within the Ordos, having leapt through the ranks quickly with my skill and devotion to my craft.

I love bringing justice to the enemies of the Imperium, be they heretics who denounce his glorious name or just gangs of mutants who do not have any right to be seen in the light of day. I am a bit of a Radical, and love trying new things. I am not a dull stone set in my ways, I do what needs to be done to finish the job, but do my best to take as long as possible if the situation allows (*wink wink*). I love taking risks if the means justify the ends, and a little pain never hurt anyone too bad, some enjoy it.

My perfect match would be someone who enjoys my want to do anything and everything without breaking too many codes of conduct. I love being in control, and forgive all the bonds I carry with me, tis just the tools of my craft. If you want to try them on, I would be more than happy to show you how they work. And Xenos/Mutants/Daemons need not apply (*officialy, but hey what happens in the Warp stays in the Warp as they say*).


----------



## Varakir (Sep 2, 2009)

Hello Ladies!

William Tenson here, 131st Cadian Guard. Just an ordinairy guy trying to make his way in the universe, though as my mother would tell you, i'm quite a catch!

I have a well paid job (if you consider death in service pay), follow orders _very_ well, and i even have my own car!

Ok, it's not technically my car, or a car at all...but i do drive it! Just name the time and the place and i'll swing by and pick you up. Here's a picture so you know what to expect:










(please no more messages asking if i am compensating for something  )


----------



## MetalHandkerchief (Aug 3, 2009)

Hello, potential victims!
My name is Nix Utharin. I am 195cm tall, only 2531 years old and slender, my friends say I'm very bad mannered and hateful, and that I have the biggest black rings they have ever seen around my eyes. I am very casual, can usually be seen in my favourite spiky casual jump-ins when I'm relaxing on the stretch-bench or my sleek spiky mesh armor when I'm out raiding. 

Among my interests are; cutting myself, cutting others, rainy days, combat drugs, scalping the imperium fleshbags, travelling the webway to new and exciting places to raid, starving my pet humans and betting on the slave games.

-I have an extensive collection of scalps, tongues, scented & shrunk Space Marine skulls, knives and slaves, feel free to ask for photos.

I am looking for a partner who enjoy collecting body parts and slaves as much as I do. She must also enjoy sadism in general and long screams of agony. It would be a plus if you could play bass in my emo band and assist me in cutting myself in new & exciting places.

Being able to feel pain is a prerequisite, so please, no Necrons.


----------



## *Chaos_Ate_My_Fingers* (Sep 11, 2009)

Oh man, Nazzruk the Ork ... that was sweet! Kind'a feel bad for the black eyed Tau you seem to like punching so much! Long waaaghs on the beach  that my friend should be a quote in the Darn Of War game for he Slugga Boys. Have some rep you legend!

By the way my Dad's a Daemon Prince who's always had a thing for Orks! Mind you he's packing 9 metres of daemon penis so he'll most likly split you in two ... never mind :-S


----------



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

*Chaos_Ate_My_Fingers* said:


> Oh man, Nazzruk the Ork ... that was sweet! Kind'a feel bad for the black eyed Tau you seem to like punching so much! Long waaaghs on the beach  that my friend should be a quote in the Darn Of War game for he Slugga Boys. Have some rep you legend!
> 
> By the way my Dad's a Daemon Prince who's always had a thing for Orks! Mind you he's packing 9 metres of daemon penis so he'll most likly split you in two ... never mind :-S


I don't know if I should be happy that you like my advert, or scared to death of your father...


----------



## Ork_boss (Sep 30, 2009)

Hi Im a Genestealer kalled Ork Muncha
I like to kill things and gobble them up do you like to do that ILLL KILL YOU!


----------



## talisapien (Jul 31, 2009)

Hello My Name is Inquisitor Ferinus Malkrissian but you can call me Ferin. I am not lonely per se as i am constantly in the company of my conscripts, but i am always looking for a good time.

I am looking for singles (male, female, or other), couples, groups, worlds, of any race, creed, or sect interested in having some "fun".

Are you into bondage? S&M? long talks? sharing all your deepest and darkest secrets with someone? If you are than I am the man you are looking for.

Don't let your eventual death get in the way of something special. Call me now, or wait and i will come to you.


----------



## Varakir (Sep 2, 2009)

Craigslist 40,000 entry: Lonely Marine looking for roleplay love

My name is Oculus of the Iron Hands, looking for an open minded partner to enjoy some roleplay.

Not into anything really kinky, just seeking someone who doesn't shy away from a relationship off the beaten path.

Basically looking for someone who will get into an intense argument with me, until i cut off 1 or several of your limbs/appendages.

Don't worry! I will tenderly replace them with wonderful bionics, and then we can go out for a nice steak dinner.

I'm am keen to find someone looking for a long term relationship, as my last 3 partners have become squeamish after the first few 'roleplay sessions'.


----------



## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Varakir said:


> Craigslist 40,000 entry: Lonely Marine looking for roleplay love
> 
> My name is Oculus of the Iron Hands, looking for an open minded partner to enjoy some roleplay.
> 
> ...


:laugh:
Talk about changing your partner!


----------

