# Malekith the Doucher



## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

I'm 61 pages into Malektih: A Tale of the Sundering and already I hate this guy with a passion of a thousand suns. This guy is seriously a grade-A jackass; totally stuck up, cares little for the lives of his own men and even less for the lives of others. I know elves are famous for being a bunch of bastards, but Malekith takes that up to 11; if I was an elf back in the day, I'd want to punch this jerk in the face with spiked knuckles. Seriously, this guy's head is stuck so far up his own ass that he should have collapsed into a singularity and consumed the entire universe already.

Then there's the part where he first meets the Dwarves, and they invite him to travel with them back to Karaz-a-Karak, and he doubts whether or not it will be worth his time. SERIOUSLY? The Dwarves' idea of a political ice-breaker is to get piss-assed drunk, so you can only imagine what they do for _fun_. Probably rock and roll all night, and party every day, if famous scholars/rockers KISS are to be believed.


Anyway, I wanted to get other people's opinions on this one, because my hatred of the Dark Elves is no secret here at Heresy, but even you Dark Elf players have to admit this guy is a total jerkass. Cast your vote!


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## Da Red Paintjob Grot (May 6, 2008)

Jack.Ass. seriously, dark elfes and dark eldar background is the first thing i'd remove if i got the chance.


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## Dafistofmork (Jan 9, 2009)

well, whose fault is it? his dad said to him repeatedly "one day you will be king" his mum said to him "one day you will be king" his friends said to him "one day you will be king". after being told that for a couple of centuries he is bound to become a big headed jerk. then his (already insane) mother sells her soul to slannesh, his dad was cursed by Khanie, hardly a good atmosphere for raising a kid is it? i am realy not suprised he went of the rails.
any way, he is a part of the warhammer world, and he is stuck there, so quit whining.


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## nightfish (Feb 16, 2009)

You do know that one of the biggest traits of dark elves is arrogance? One might argue why your reading the book if you don't like that sort of personality.


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## Micklez (Nov 22, 2008)

Same reason why one might learn certain subjects at school. You may not like it but the knowlage is handy. I took A-Level maths for the same reason, theres no way its going to help in law but it sure helps to know. Anyway, planning my future aside, its also good to know both sides of the story as well as digging into one of the best features of our hobby, its fluff

Btw, hes an arsehole


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## Death Shroud (Mar 1, 2008)

I've not read the book yet but since it has been written by the horror that is "The Throp" (Gave Thorpe) it doesn't suprise me that what could have been an exciting piece about how a mighty hero could be corrupted by power and turn into a megalomaniac and Badass Motherfucker (literally), would instead be an unsubtle badly written book about an obvious complete bastard who does lots of bad things and ends up still being an obvious complete bastard.

I love the Dark Elf background but have been dreading reading the book. I read the preview chapter and that was bad enough for me.


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

Funnily enough, I like him. He's got the ruthlessness, and strength that the Elves required at the time. However, Asur saw that he could be too ruthless, having grown up during a time when to be ruthless was required, not to mentionbeing in a Region that took the brunt of the Daemons assaults... Naw... He's an okay guy.


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## Dafistofmork (Jan 9, 2009)

death shroud- i acctualy enjoyed the book-i read it cover to cover, and that only happens with books i realy realy like.(the fact that i picked it up of the shelf says a lot as well, i only pick books that look interesting, and have only been wrong a few times)


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## your master (Jun 14, 2008)

Dafistofmork said:


> death shroud- i acctualy enjoyed the book-i read it cover to cover, and that only happens with books i realy realy like.(the fact that i picked it up of the shelf says a lot as well, i only pick books that look interesting, and have only been wrong a few times)



hhhmm someones sounding alittle dark elfish 

i like him he has a right to be angry he is the rightful heir his body is severley disfigured everybody hates him apart from his mummy, cut him some slack.


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## HorusReborn (Nov 19, 2008)

I think he's pretty rad! Total jackoffs like him make the world go round, sounds like I need to read this book and get an update to my philosophy in life!!!


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

Da Red Paintjob Grot said:


> Jack.Ass. seriously, dark elfes and dark eldar background is the first thing i'd remove if i got the chance.


If you don't like Jack asses, don't read Nagash. Or Heldenhammer. They're both twats.

*Waits for Everchosen and Le Breton*


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## Dafistofmork (Jan 9, 2009)

of course, all the major players have a slight streak of arragonce in them-otherwise sigma would have said "bloody hell, look at those orcs! i say let the dwarfs sort themsleves out, lets go home and have a cup of tea."[mildly exaterated]


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

Don't get me wrong; I like having douchers like Malekith around, if only to curb-stomp them after playing a gut-wrenching guitar solo while also making sweet love to their mothers/daughters/any female relation. But credit where credit's due, Mal is a total piece of shit.

That having been said, IMHO the book about him is very, very good! I think I'm going to read Heldenhammer next. What's this about him being a twat?


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## HorusReborn (Nov 19, 2008)

I'm reading Heldenhammer now, and I can't put it down, 150 pgs the first night! I avoided Malekith because Gav Thorpe wrote it... and I never have been a fan of his stuff, only because of what he looked like in white dwarf. Stupid idea, but if Malekith is good, I'll have to pick it up, soon after I read nagash. Sigmar isn't a twat in this book one bit. He's got dreams and aspirations, less than a dick like Horus or the Emperor!


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## Death Shroud (Mar 1, 2008)

Heldenhammer isn't a twat, he's awesome. Nagash is an evil twat but the book was very good.


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## KhainiteAssassin (Mar 18, 2009)

ok 3 things you need to remember before calling Malekith a douche. 

1. hes an elf, and because of that you have to compare his doucheness to other elves doucheness.

2. hes the commander of an army, what commander of an army doesnt use tatics like he does unless they are oh so sad about losing any lives. hell, how many times while playing the tabletop do you sacrifice one squad so 3 others may get the jump on a particularly annoying group in your enemies army? its called tatics

3. the guy was, as stated before, told from his birth that he would be the next king, that combined with elven arrogence, makes him very very VERY arrogent, and probably very very pissed off when he was upsurped.


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## bobss (May 18, 2008)

> Jack.Ass. seriously, dark elfes and dark eldar background is the first thing i'd remove if i got the chance


Dont like them you say? * sharpens blade * ill have to ask the Temple of Khaine to remove you then :biggrin:

No seriously, without them then High Elves would be missing something like 80-90% of their fluff and hell there arnt any other evil evil ( aka very evil ) armies out their. i mean daemons are few and far between and i always considered the rest of chaos forces as... orcs ( stupid, not knowing any better than to attack anything that moves)

for Malekith, hes the backbone of the Druchii, but jeez, pull the sword of Khaine out of its block and exterminate the asur! how many petty invasions does it take to destroy well.. a bunch of spear weilding, flower power believing hippies.


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

KhainiteAssassin said:


> ok 3 things you need to remember before calling Malekith a douche.
> 
> 1. hes an elf, and because of that you have to compare his doucheness to other elves doucheness.


This is exactly what I did. Tyrion is a douche, but nowhere near Malekith on Kruswald's Doucheness Scale; Teclis is a douche too, but only in the same way that James Bond as played by Daniel Craig is a douche: by being totally awesome.



KhainiteAssassin said:


> 2. hes the commander of an army, what commander of an army doesnt use tatics like he does unless they are oh so sad about losing any lives. hell, how many times while playing the tabletop do you sacrifice one squad so 3 others may get the jump on a particularly annoying group in your enemies army? its called tatics


Never. I would never throw my Marines' "lives" away; annoying enemy squads are what I have Plasma Cannons for 



KhainiteAssassin said:


> 3. the guy was, as stated before, told from his birth that he would be the next king, that combined with elven arrogence, makes him very very VERY arrogent, and probably very very pissed off when he was upsurped.


Obviously temperance  wasn't too high on Malekith's list of things he might need when he's leading a bunch of people...might be kind of useful, is all I'm saying :mrgreen:


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## Syph (Aug 3, 2008)

Having read half of Malekith so far, I think I'd end up the way he did. Bel Shanaar is a total shit - his arrogance is staggering. It's been a good read so far and Malekith shows a lot of humility in amongst his ruthless streak. I'll give you my final opinion once I've read it all!


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## Darktheos (May 9, 2008)

I've read 303 pgs and I kinda feel bad for him. He just kinda gets screwed out of all his credit for things. The way he turned out is understandable, He was told from birth he was the best things since sliced bread and he would be king. Then the elves were like nope you don't get Crap. We decided you are to much of a warrior to be king.

I've read Heldenhammer and liked it. Nagash annoyed me (both the book and the character) the jumping around got to me after awhile. The living Kings are cool though.


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## rob12763 (May 2, 2008)

He would be an excellent Corporate CEO.Rob


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

I finished the book a while back, and honestly, I think he would've turned into a total doucher even if he'd been handed the crown instead of Bel-Shanaar.


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## Syph (Aug 3, 2008)

The sudden turn around in his character is quite shocking, though you have no idea just how much influence the Circlet of Iron and Morathi have on him. He's buried desires for 1000 years, doing some amazing things with the Dwarfs etc. I don't think he would've ended up the way he did had he been granted the crown - I think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. He ended up the way he did because people were scared he'd end up the way he did, doing exactly what they shouldn't have trying to stop things happening. That's a brain fryer!

My god Morathi is a piece though!


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## Duty (Feb 20, 2009)

This book sounds pretty good i will have to get my hands on it. I've read the stuff in the army book about him and it seems like he got screwed big time by pretty much everyone but his mother, who i think only loves him as much as the power he holds anyway. 

He would get a high 5 from me any day, seriously there are much bigger douches then Malekith e.g. the Phenix king and Dwarf high king during the war of the beard (i forget their names) they fought so long and hard over some ill-treated ambassitors (ok so this might have been egged on by the Dark Elves) but still the damage done by this war was just as bad as the ones fight between the High/Dark elves. so cut him some slack, he's a pretty cool guy k:


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## BloodAngelsfan (Jan 22, 2009)

Yeah, I think he should be cut some slack, and we should turn our attention to the real douches here, the High Elves. They made Malekith the way he is, they shaved the ambassadors beard (the bastards!) instead of working it out, seriously, couldn't they have simply said something along the lines of 'Malekith attacked the caravan'


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## Captain Galus (Jan 2, 2008)

The Phoenix King at the time was a complete moron, so I don't think we need to hold the entire race accountable for one idiot's power trip; we can all agree that at least ONE High Elf at that time was stupid.


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## MrFortunato (Aug 26, 2009)

D.E player, admits Malekith is a dick... no tactical ability...'oh look, there's that gate we've failed to break through 8 billion times before...lets attack it again' eh?:shok: he asks for failure, and if ANY OTHER elf was in charge instead of him...Ulthuan would have been subdued long ago...
now i must kill myself before the black guard get me...

I picked D.e 'cos
1) my friend did H.E, natural rivalry i guess...
2) evil is ALWAYS cooler than good

although i have to admit, i like the H.E style as being defenders of the world... it seems to have more of a point than just being soooo obsessed with one freakin island...
However, I like the D.E obsession of power, ambition is the D.E edge for me, the thing that makes them cool, and i actually believe that without their leader, they could be a cooler army, more bent on domination rather than ulthuan (although thats first on the list:crazy The only problem is....without Malekith the whole of the D.E fluff becomes a black hole...


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## Irillith (Apr 5, 2009)

> He would be an excellent Corporate CEO.Rob


He would 

The thing I'd say to remember is, that a few bits of the fluff weren't that way until the book Malekith was written. There's nothing in the army books to say Bel Shanaar is an idiot with the spine of a jellyfish; there's nothing to suggest that all Mal's Mum and Dad did all day every day was tell him "one day sonny you will be King, so you'd better be good"; the pleasure cults were always centred on Slaanesh until the book was added. I personally think these details weaken the fluff and detract from it, but then other people will like them ... each to their own. The only problem is that once something is out in novel form, it's hard to keep on saying "yes but that was in the novels"* ... XD

Is Malekith a bit of an arse in the novel? Not really, once he grows up and stops making fun of "those funny short people who don't speak our language". Is he a loser overall? ... um. In a sense no, not since he is still in charge of the DE after 5,000 years.

... and on the other hand, five milennia and he still hasn't retaken lost Nagarythe. Did he get that magic circlet from Abbadon?


*but yes I do it anyway


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## cain the betrayer (Oct 12, 2009)

i think he is very cool


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## Farseer Ulthris (Sep 6, 2008)

I have to admit that Malekith's story is pretty tragic, he maybe an arrogant, mass-murdering pig but he has every right to be. I do admit he should have been Phoenix king instead of that fool Bel-Shanaar but unfortunately he was not granted his right. Now I better run before the Shadow warriors find out about this (everyone knows how they feel about Dark Elves and those who speak of them in an apologetic manner).


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## MrFortunato (Aug 26, 2009)

see.... there really isn't much difference between the D.E & H.E is there....


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## Fallen Angel Sammael (Jun 18, 2009)

Where can you find all of the books on warhammer? The black libray website is being redone. I have checked ebay and I cannot find any books on Malektih.


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## cain the betrayer (Oct 12, 2009)

you can see all books in the games workshop website in the book section


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## Fallen Angel Sammael (Jun 18, 2009)

cain the 21th primach said:


> you can see all books in the games workshop website in the book section


Thank you


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## Keelia (Aug 3, 2009)

Hmmmm. He leads the Dark Elves....One might assume in order to lead bad asses to combat or to their deaths you would have to be even more so bad ass than the other bad asses. A bad ass of bad asses isnt going to be a nice guy......Im sure hed be a down right arrogant prick.

Vect has been the leader of the black kabal for like 10,000 years......Im sure he didnt hold that seat by having pizza parties and patting everyone on the back saying "Nice job chaps....Well done", after every raid.


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## bobss (May 18, 2008)

Keelia said:


> Hmmmm. He leads the Dark Elves....One might assume in order to lead bad asses to combat or to their deaths you would have to be even more so bad ass than the other bad asses. A bad ass of bad asses isnt going to be a nice guy......Im sure hed be a down right arrogant prick.
> 
> Vect has been the leader of the black kabal for like 10,000 years......Im sure he didnt hold that seat by having pizza parties and patting everyone on the back saying "Nice job chaps....Well done", after every raid.


You, good sir, have just reminded me of Private (rank?) Hudson of Aliens-

'' Dont worry Ripley. Me and my squad of ultimate bad-asses will protect you...'' 

ROFL:laugh:


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