# Dice Gods...do not exist



## CommissarHorn (Apr 14, 2008)

Dice are not random and the dice gods are a load of shit, yeah thats right, "I don't believe". There are ways of cheating the dice, many of which I do not know. Although I do know some. 
Is there a known way to do this or am I the first to cheat and bugger up the point of warhammer?

The dice uses gravity and physics to fall, rebound and drop. It falls at a certain angle which in turn rebounds the dice causing a certain D6 to pop up.
If dropped at the same angle it will rebound the same and ofcourse pop up with the same D6. "If you shoot a gun at a target and hit the bullseye, by shooting it again from the same spot you'll hit another bullseye." So whats its saying is that its not random and can be controlled. Yes, the dice can be controlled.

I base my theory around the height, verticle D6 showing and the horizontal D6 showing. With it I've found a certain height and setup which pretty much garantees a 4+ with a 50% chance of a 6.

There are other parts to it, like learning the feel of the numbers on my index finger and thumb. Its not exactly ethical to look at the dice and contemplate a certain angle every time you roll in front of other players. So by learning how to read the dice with my fingers, i know what number is verticle and horizontal without looking at it.

Any ideas? This is a forum called Heresy, right?
:alcoholic: :nono:


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## Gobbo (Jun 4, 2008)

I think your a bit of an idiot. Anyone who wants to cheat at a game designed to be fun is pretty lame. I hope its not long til your oponents catch on and your left with no one to play against.


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## Profawesome (Nov 30, 2008)

CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> I've found a certain height and setup which pretty much garantees a 4+ with a 50% chance of a 6.





CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> height and setup which pretty much garantees a 4+ with a 50% chance of a 6.





CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> garantees a 4+ with a 50% chance of a 6.





CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> 50% chance of a 6.





CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> 50% chance





CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random





CommissarHorn said:


> 50% chance





CommissarHorn said:


> garantees





CommissarHorn said:


> 50% chance


uhh.........


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## neilbatte (Jan 2, 2008)

An interesting theory that sort of depends on throwing the dice a few at a time. Good luck applying this to a full mob of Orks on the charge though. It would look a bit odd throwing each dice 1 at a time when you need to throw 90+ I'll keep faith in the dice gods if its all the same with you.


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## Revelations (Mar 17, 2008)

Perhaps you have heard of Pascals Wager? It was basically a zealots way of "logically" (used very loosely) convincing you to believe in God because of the chances and outcomes associated with his existance. You have a 50% chance of God existing or not, therefore you had 3 possible outcomes depending on belief, 1 of which was in the negative, 1 of which was neutral and the remaining 1 was positive. The argument was that since you had equal chances to be damned or saved, it was better to air on the side of caution. 

Notice the correlation between your "guaranteed 50% chance" and the above wager? What both of you failed to realized was the possibilities of alternative Gods within the wager. Say you believed in the Biblical diety and who would have thunk it Zues was the man. Imagine how happy he would be when you spent the sum of your miniscul existence on this world worshipping the wrong guy. I bet he would be pretty miffed eh? Now imagine what someone might do if you spent the sum of your gaming time cheating the dice chance like you described. Now imagine doing the same in Vegas. Do you think the stablishment is going to be too keen on your little trail? 

Now you have a choice, you can either deal with the fickle dice gods, or you can deal with the vengeful dice gods, but one way or another, the dice gods will enact their will upon you... one just happens to be less pleasent then the other. Sort of like Gork and Mork if you think about it.


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## World Eater XII (Dec 12, 2008)

dice gods smell fear!


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## CamTheApostle (Oct 31, 2008)

Wait! Wait one freaking moment! Yeah, I wrote 'freaking'. You actually think (sane-ish) gamers believe in a supernatural being that controls the outcome of the dice and that actually praying to this being (or making sacrifices) will increase the probability of a favorable outcome? Hey, I got this big red bridge I want to sell you.

Seriously though, the outcome of the dice is created by a number of variables. Some dice, based on their design, the materials used in their creation, and flaws within them (such as a possible air pocket or area of density), are more inclined to provide an outcome that differs from 'normal'. In addition, various conditions such as warmth of the dice (effects the dice density), rolling surface (which can alter bounce), obstacles they will bounce off of, and if they care covered in sweat from your hand, have an effect on the outcome. While these might be tiny deviations, 1% is still something when you make 100+ rolls a game. Also, how you roll has an effect. Its called dice control. Some people try to do it while playing craps.

The dice god concept (at least for me) is just another level of humor. I know it isn't real. My friends know it isn't real. Yet we joke about the dice god. Why? Because this is a game about having fun and blowing off steam.

That said... YOU DARE MOCK THE GOD OF THE DICE? HERETIC! BLASPHEMER! We shall hunt you down and destroy you! Your corpse will make a fine offering to the Dice God! It shall grant me many 6's.


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## the cabbage (Dec 29, 2006)

CamTheApostle said:


> That said... YOU DARE MOCK THE GOD OF THE DICE? HERETIC! BLASPHEMER! We shall hunt you down and destroy you! Your corpse will make a fine offering to the Dice God! It shall grant me many 6's.


Or 1's depending on whether he's had a nice day in dice heaven.


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

You know...if you learn how to play you won't need to ask the internet how to cheat

Seriously, what sad fucker has to cheat at a game of toy space men?

Also, if I'm ever sitting across from some snot nosed little knuckle-shuffler who insists on dropping his dice straight down at the same angle with the same side facing up I'd give him a smack to the head...I figure if I smack him at the exact same spot from the exact same angle, he'll stop being a dipshit and actually play the game.
I'll have to teory though. Any volunteers?


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## Stella Cadente (Dec 25, 2006)

CommissarHorn said:


> Is there a known way to do this or am I the first to cheat and bugger up the point of warhammer?


no your not and you won't be the last, lots of pathetic lifeforms exist to cheat at a game of toy soldiers with no rewards awaiting you at the end, and all of you will be castrated in a similar manner, with a rusty scythe by a burly Russian bloke who hates cheating fascists.....even if there not fascists.


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## Cato Sicarius (Feb 21, 2008)

Stella Cadente said:


> no your not and you won't be the first, lots of pathetic lifeforms exist to cheat at a game of toy soldiers with no rewards awaiting you at the end, and all of you will be castrated in a similar manner, with a rusty scythe by a burly Russian bloke who hates cheating fascists.....even if there not fascists.


*dies laughing*

*Is revived by God - it was not my time*

Anyways: 

Commissar, are you really thinking that people actually believe in dice gods? Of course they don't! It's a joke - humour. Something made up to provoke a good feeling and/or laughter in someone/a group of people.

Cam is right. 

The Prof is right in what he is rather subtly pointing out: 50% chance, and garunteed are two completely different things. 50% chance also proves that dice are perfectly random.

Galahad is correct and Stella is funny as always (no offense meant).

Revelations is very learned and has pointed out Pascal's Wager (which pretty much proves that there is a chance as well as backs up your own claims of chance).

In other words: you don't understand dice/Dice Gods at all do you?


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## Refyougee (Nov 24, 2008)

Well, a 50% chance of rolling a 6 is definitely less random than it usually is... (If the OP can actually get those kinds of odds)

It is only natural to realize at one point or another that dice can be manipulated; I've noticed that without trying I tend to be quite lucky regardless of the game I'm playing (As long as dice are involved). I don't know if I subconsciously alter my die rolls or something but maybe I should start keeping track? 

In either case I would never consciously try to cheat the die rolls because I'm kind of lazy that way. If someone asks me to share my dice with them or use a cup or whatever I'm all for it as long as we both use the same method, and I would hope my opponents would do the same. What I wouldn't do is go all internet tough guy on them and advocate hitting children and castrating people, because at best it's a lame attempt a humour, while at worst it warrants anger management exercises.

Oh and yeah, Dice Gods are just our way of rationalizing bad luck. I don't know about you but I want to believe that my bad luck is part of some divine plan, not because the universe hates me.


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## hells_fury (Apr 17, 2008)

hmmm, i vote we sacrifice the non-believer cheater to the dice gods 

so you think your cool cause you can rig the dice in your favour, hell i bet you play online games with 97 diffrent hacks just so you dont lose there, u prob lied to your little brother about how to play snakes and ladders so you can win, hell u played hide and seek with your eyes open to see where everyone went i bet


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## torealis (Dec 27, 2006)

Gobbo said:


> I think your a bit of an idiot. Anyone who wants to cheat at a game designed to be fun is pretty lame. I hope its not long til your oponents catch on and your left with no one to play against.


QFT..........


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## CommissarHorn (Apr 14, 2008)

Stella Cadente said:


> no your not and you won't be the last, lots of pathetic lifeforms exist to cheat at a game of toy soldiers with no rewards awaiting you at the end, and all of you will be castrated in a similar manner, with a rusty scythe by a burly Russian bloke who hates cheating fascists.....even if there not fascists.


The russian would rather help me than a non-russian.

Lol, I actually expected something like this. I don't take warhammer seriously enough to not cheat at times. Its like adding crap to your plastic men, but more fun.
Who gives a shit if you cheat or not. Making a bigger fuss of it is worse.

What?! the dice gods aren't real?.. lol of course they're not real. I used the gods as a humor, different context.

So does any one know of any ways to cheat the dice? Cheatings not important its the fun of making up shit to cheat. You don't have to use it or approve of it, just talk about it.

jeez


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## Stella Cadente (Dec 25, 2006)

CommissarHorn said:


> Who gives a shit if you cheat or not.


lemme think about that one....how about the only person who really matters in that situation, YOUR OPPONENT duuuuuuuh


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## Steve the mediocer (Dec 27, 2008)

if you set it up in a certain way and spin it and you spin it well on a smooth surface it will always come up on a 4+

not that i ever do this ahem (cough and laugh suspicoulsy)


but seriously i woudn't cheat cuz i think gaunts are disgraces to the term rank and file infantry and i hold them in high contempt and love seeing them get blown away


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## Profawesome (Nov 30, 2008)

Steve the mediocer said:


> if you set it up in a certain way and spin it and you spin it well on a smooth surface it will always come up on a 4+



*It can be safely stipulated that it is impossible to cheat at throwing dice if you are being observed by someone with even a small amount of sense.

/thread*


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

That's why we always put our dice in a huge bowl, place that bowl into a cannon and fire it in the middle of the room. Then pick the dice from the wall / our bodies.

On another note, I've found that if you put you're dice into a handgun and fire straight upwards the Dice will ALWAYS come down and land on a 6, remarkable isn't it?

Looking for ways to cheat a device that was born for CHANCE... For shame


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## Refyougee (Nov 24, 2008)

Actually my gaming club has a policy that we have to throw our dice into a drying machine and set it on tumble dry for an hour (at low heat of course). After that an impartial judge (usually a burly Scotsman) heaves the dryer into the air, the dice are ejected onto the table and our results are tallied. This is done to ensure no one can fudge the die rolls.

It says in my sig that I've played ten games but I've been playing since my birth in 1988...


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## CommissarHorn (Apr 14, 2008)

..sigh..

this thread wasn't supposed to be taken as seriously as its being taken.

Don't worry about it, if you've got nothing interesting to say, don't say it. The point isn't to tell you I cheat, the games fun enough without cheating. The point is to discuss the ways of cheating and other similar crap to do with the dice.
Doesn't matter if you approve of it or not.


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## Lord of Rebirth (Jun 7, 2008)

The physics of dice are far to complex for you pathetic humans to control.


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## SpacedGhost (Dec 16, 2008)

Not that the following qualifies me as any a greater expert than any else with an intolerance to such stupidity... but I work in a casino as a surveillance agent. Craps is the game of choice by most patrons as there is no house edge. When rolling the dice on a craps game there are only the odds of the dice to play against. Most cheats you learn to watch for do not involve the dice themselves. Provided they tumble, the dice tend to produce a "true random" result. The cheats dealing specifically with the dice involve teams to distract the dealers as it is obvious when the dice don't tumble, or someone is shooting loaded dice. Naturally there are precautions in place in any casino to help encourage a true random roll (like making sure the patrons hit the back wall when rolling). 

The point being... the majority of cheats involving dice games DON'T involve the dice themselves. Because dice are actually quite an ingeniously invented agent of chance... there are far more variables in rolling dice than just height, angle dropped at, and the force you release them with. The vegas cheats found out they couldn't get the dice to "tumble" the way they'd practiced by dropping them from a certain height and angle, etc. They did learn to "Slide" them though, a technique that involves a team to distract others at the game as it's quite obvious to tell if you're watching the dice. Even "loaded" dice roll in an obviously aberrant manner if you're watching them, let alone feel obviously weighted if you're at all familiar with holding dice (as many life-long table toppers are).

If you want to cheat at a game involving dice, find a different facet of the game to cheat. You'll have better luck trying to sneak an inch onto your assault, or an extra 50 points of gear into your army than you will "making" the dice tumble the way you want them to. Additionally... the vegas cheats mastered their technique with two dice... I don't think there is a gamer alive that could slide more than 4, let alone the 40 you might end up having to roll in other situations.


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## jaren (Jul 7, 2008)

this sounds like religious persecution to me, is my belief in the venerated deity of the die so wrong? in this time? in this nation (i am American)?

i don't like that i hold to my freedom of religion.


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

I'm still up for the smack-testing theory

If cheating at dice were in any way easy or subtle, Los Vegas would be out of business pretty fast. Anyone trying to methodically drop dice rather than shaking and rolling like a normal person is going to end up looking suspicious as hell and people will rightly assume he's a cheating little twit and stop playing with him...or, you know, start smacking him until he stops rolling like a spaz. If you absolutely must cheat at a game of toys soldiers then there are much better ways to go about it than trying to rig the dice. 

And if you don't want to invite criticism, I'd suggest not posting controversial subjects and them being surprised when people think you're a tosser for it.

This is why we have the nazi rule. Just like it's impossible to go into a civilized place and talk about how much you like hitler without people getting upset, it's impossible to go into a gaming forum and bring up the subject of how best to cheat at dice without people calling you out on it.


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## Chaosftw (Oct 20, 2008)

CommissarHorn said:


> Dice are not random and the dice gods are a load of shit, yeah thats right, "I don't believe". There are ways of cheating the dice, many of which I do not know. Although I do know some.
> Is there a known way to do this or am I the first to cheat and bugger up the point of warhammer?
> 
> The dice uses gravity and physics to fall, rebound and drop. It falls at a certain angle which in turn rebounds the dice causing a certain D6 to pop up.
> ...





Profawesome said:


> uhh.........



LMFAO..... 

CH your telling me you can drop a dice a certain way EVERY-TIME and it will hit the table... wow.. I have Heard some stupid things in my life... But damn... I think my I.Q just dropped a few points.

Profawesmon, Thats just Brilliant.

As for "Dice Gods" and them "Existing" If the "Dice Gods" consist of The "God" of Imbalanced Gravity, the "God" of Luck, and the "God" of 2+ Inv saves then yes "Dice Gods" do Exist.

Chaosftw


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## CommissarHorn (Apr 14, 2008)

Chaosftw said:


> LMFAO.....
> 
> As for "Dice Gods" and them "Existing" If the "Dice Gods" consist of The "God" of Imbalanced Gravity, the "God" of Luck, and the "God" of 2+ Inv saves then yes "Dice Gods" do Exist.
> 
> Chaosftw


Yeah, what you don't follow the God of refrigerator handles and the God of feet?
What about the civil war of the Gods that was started by the God of unconventional methods when he saw that if he got rid of the God of refrigerator handles, people will start using unconventional methods to open refregirators. Damn that God of Nissan car seat head rests!

Cheating doesn't matter. Its dice rolling thats important here.
So far we've estalblished it can't be done. 
Fair enough.


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## squeek (Jun 8, 2008)

I wouldn't condone dice cheating in any form, particularly in a casino as it is likely to get you a beating as well as just being plain dishonest, however it IS possible to cheat at dice.

Craps is a perfect example to use; too many gamblers were able to set and roll dice to give them a better than average (read better than totally random) chance with the game, so casino rules stipulate they must be rolled against the back wall of the table and actually hit it and roll back to count. The wall itself is textured to randomise the bounce making it very difficult to predict which way it will roll back. People who play craps outside of the casino still learn how to set the dice and roll numbers they want, though it is liable to get them beaten up so it is a risky ploy. The reason some players take this risk is even a slight increase of odds in their favour is enough to tip the balance of the game towards them.

I would agree with *SpacedGhost* that is going to be of limited effectiveness for more than 3-4 dice as it is not possible to roll them without them hitting and effecting each other. The art if you like of rolling dice to achieve a specific result relies on setting them in your hand and knowing that they will roll a certain number of times in only one axis when you let them go. It is not easy to achieve and is quite easy to spot if you are a little observant. The only reason I could see any gamer learning how to do this is for the all important leadership tests, etc.

So when playing someone who insists on rolling in a set fashion for leadership tests and so on watch to see how they handle the dice. If they pick the dice up and clasp them in their hand so that they can see what the faces show you probably have a cheater. If they then roll the dice through only one axis making sure they only make a few complete rolls you definitely have a cheater. My advice in these circumstances would be to point it out to them and insist they roll without looking and throw them further along the table. Any small change to the way they roll will bugger up their carefully controlled technique and render it pointless. If they don't like it, don't play them.

For anyone that doesn't believe it possible watch this:





I would point out now that I do not condone cheating in any form, it is a very childish thing to do and will not make any friends. It is also likely to make any victory feel hollow since you cannot claim that it was down to your skill that you won.


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## Degzi (Nov 10, 2008)

i can kinda see in the context of the guy on you tube hes obviously doing it to win in a casino if it is real then :shok:

but if you did it for a game like warhammer you may as well not play it wont be any fun. i admit nobody likes to loose all the time but winning all the time is just as boring


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## Cato Sicarius (Feb 21, 2008)

Alright, you want to be taken seriously? Well fine.

First of all, this is a game about chance mainly (what your opponent has, what you have to defeat his guys, and what you roll on the dice), so when you start rigging that "chance" it's called "cheating".

What you're talking about is called "Natural Rolling", where one learns how to drop a die at a certain angle, with a certain amount of strength, on a certain surface, to get a result. If they did exactly the same thing again, they'd get exactly the same result.

Natural Rolling has been going on for years, and as Galahad said, if it wasn't so obvious to see, Los Vegas would be now known as "The place that's always asleep", as nobody would go there - you'd always lose. Of course, some people managed to master it and make it more concealed, and when casinos found out about what they were doing, they invented these things:










See? These prevent you from rigging the dice and make the game more fair (unless you're using side-heavy dice, which is actually a lot more obvious to see after you roll 90 sixes with your Orks).

Next, I don't like the way you said: 



> Who cares if I cheat anyway?


Well would _you_ like it if somebody cheated against _you_? What I'm trying to point out is that the _opponent_ cares if you cheat!

Finally, I think that if you want to cheat then you shouldn't be here, in a forum about a game of chance. -rep to you sir!


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## Whizzwang (Dec 31, 2008)

CamTheApostle said:


> You actually think (sane-ish) gamers believe in a supernatural being that controls the outcome of the dice and that actually praying to this being (or making sacrifices) will increase the probability of a favorable outcome?


If I sacrifice our key-timer surely that will stop him rolling 6's?


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## Cato Sicarius (Feb 21, 2008)

Whizzwang said:


> If I sacrifice our key-timer surely that will stop him rolling 6's?


Wha? Please explain to those who have no idea what you're talking about.


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## sooch (Nov 25, 2008)

Key-timer = part time worker


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## Cato Sicarius (Feb 21, 2008)

I see, I see.


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## Meowmix (Jul 31, 2008)

Galahad said:


> Seriously, what sad fucker has to cheat at a game of toy space men?


You are now my favorite person.


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

I think people are over reacting here. 

Off topic...

Ever spun a 2 pence piece on its side and had it stop on the side?

My GF was spinning one once, "heads or tails?" I didn't really give a shit so I said "side" and it stopped on its side.

Fucking crazy... whats the odds?

Back on topic, I practised fixed rolling for an hour or more last week after reading Darkseers blog. 

I call bollocks with a set of 12mm dice. They're to small and awkward. I couldn't roll anything I wanted. Plus in a wargaming setting the surface you're rolling on is likely a pitted sanded battlefield.


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## workmance (Dec 15, 2008)

Profawesome said:


> *It can be safely stipulated that it is impossible to cheat at throwing dice if you are being observed by someone with even a small amount of sense.
> 
> /thread*


Not actually...

Having worked as a dealer, then floor supervisor in a casino for 3+ years we were taught how to spot people who cheat. Especially at Craps (rolling dice) and let me tell you. there were times that I was watching every movement...and I couldn't tell that they were cheating. that is until they turned their back to the table and told what number they rolled. :ireful2:

As to the cheating at warhammer...Even my 6 year old (who spent his first afternoon at the Battle Bunker here in Memphis with me a couple of weekends ago :taunt when spotting a dice that was tilted knew that it needed to be rerolled.


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## Chaosftw (Oct 20, 2008)

This topic i think is just for entertainment now... like someone said earlier... If you need to heat in a game of fucking toy space met then there is seriously something wrong with you. I 100% agree.


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## chromedog (Oct 31, 2007)

Dice cheats are one of the reasons that the dice in casino games (like craps) have to bounce off the wall and then over the line. 

Yes, you might be able to get the dice to come up 'this' way every time, but if you have to bounce them off another surface your technique will require a rethink. Unless you are using loaded dice.

We had pros teaching us how to spot dice switchers at the casino where I used to work. He was so good, we couldn't tell. He did it slowly, and we still couldn't tell. It was only when he picked up two RED dice and rolled back two GREEN dice that things clicked. I did hear about one guy who got busted after I left.

A guy tried the old 'switcheroo', and unfortunately, while he picked up 2 dice, he let go of three, and all three came up '6'. The croupier gave him back two dice and told him "Go ahead. Your point is 18." he was banned afterwards, from any casino where the owner had any interest (Boss was a High Roller with stakes in Vegas as well as ALL of the aussie casinos.)


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

One good way to avoid any problems with dice cheats (and minimize unwanted 'casualties' from flying dice) is to construct yourself a dice Tower with a nice fenced in courtyard (I'll probably take some pics of mine later)

It's a hollow bit of terrain (tower or silo shaped is the best) with some baffles inside (think of them as ramps that don't go all the way across) then opens out onto a fenced in courtyard. You drop the dice in the top and they bounce down the sloped baffles and fly out info the courtyard. The baffles make sure that the dice bounce randomly and make it impossible for a straight drop, and the courtyard keeps the dice from getting out into the battlefield

Mine has a rotating turn counter as well. very handy bit of terrain and easy to make. But because we don;t want minis getting hammered by dice we set it up on the edge of the battleground so the courtyard is out of the field of play


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## the cabbage (Dec 29, 2006)

Hey was anybody else impressed by the guy on you tube. That was awsome skill, regardless of rights or wrongs.


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## Ascendant (Dec 11, 2008)

> It's a hollow bit of terrain (tower or silo shaped is the best) with some baffles inside (think of them as ramps that don't go all the way across) then opens out onto a fenced in courtyard. You drop the dice in the top and they bounce down the sloped baffles and fly out info the courtyard. The baffles make sure that the dice bounce randomly and make it impossible for a straight drop, and the courtyard keeps the dice from getting out into the battlefield


Wow. 

Wow. 
For this alone, I hope to play 40k with you someday. 

On-topic, it seems like amateur attempts at influencing dice rolls will fail. Just as you might figure out a combination of height, angle and top number to force a six, a hockey-player could calculate a certain angle, speed and distance that would guarantee a goal. Of course, the terrain and number of dice to be rolled ( the proverbial goalie) might not cooperate, and your miserable attempts to cheat the dice gods would fail.


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## Argitist (Apr 29, 2008)

So, Question.

Is seeing someone field 2 Lashing HQ's or an equivalent cheating? Because it does increase your odds of winning. It's all just stretching the rules right?

On another note, has anyone ever seen people use one color or dice for the roles the want high and another for the ones they want low? I always find that amusing.


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## The Son of Horus (Dec 30, 2006)

Galahad said:


> Seriously, what sad fucker has to cheat at a game of toy space men?


Call this a vaguely trollish response, but...this guy. And similar instances of the disease known as chronic faliure to get laid. 










On a more serious note, there is an individual at the local store who likes to take a good hard look at the scatter dice before "rolling" it, and miraculously, he never rolls anything but a hit, because he bloody sets the thing down so it doesn't roll...it just drops. It's exactly what CommissarHorn described, and it's LAME SAUCE. Whoever ends up having to play the guy each week is referred to as "he who drew this week's short straw."


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## Chaosftw (Oct 20, 2008)

The Son of Horus said:


> Call this a vaguely trollish response, but...this guy. And similar instances of the disease known as chronic faliure to get laid.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


SoH, PIC= Priceless

Last point... I wish I could play someone like that, I would certianly enjoy having a 'special' list JUST for them to counter everything they have :victory:

Chaosftw


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## World Eater XII (Dec 12, 2008)

i like to get my sisters to throw/roll the dice alot more fun! as small kids have no fear that the gods can smell!


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## Revelations (Mar 17, 2008)

Argitist said:


> Is seeing someone field 2 Lashing HQ's or an equivalent cheating? Because it does increase your odds of winning. It's all just stretching the rules right?


I lack the smiley to do this, but basically I'm reading this with a very blank expression and an eyebrow slightly cocked. 

Let me put it to you this way, play Russian Roulette with someone. 1 bullet, a single 6 shooter. You have a 1 in 6 odds of biting the bullet. Now play with two pistols, your chances are now 2 in 12 of biting the bullet, or still 1 in 6. Now play with someone that knows how to spin the chamber and flip it back into the gun to insure the bullet is the next round fired. 

In one instance, you two are still playing the odds. In the other, well... one certainly wants to walk away from that game without you.


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## Steel Nathan (Apr 26, 2008)

You're all wrong! There IS a dice God, and there is proof! 










BEHOLD! Greatness has came upon us! One who solely disbelieves and disrespects the Dice God will be smitened with 1's and 6's (depending on what you're rolling for) for all eternity! (picture from Dezartfox) 

PS: Anybody thinking I an being serious is clearly an idiot :wink:. 

I say this all the time: Cheat if you want to cheat. You just won't be having much fun if you piss off a lot of people. If you enjoy doing that, then be my guest!


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## Blue Liger (Apr 25, 2008)

Well you can go ahead and cheat but in tournaments waste time doing that you'll get disqualified round 1, appart from the fact you have a time limit for games and the fact that your cheating (people notice), plus try rolling 90 dice like that in 2 seconds, by the time you've got the 4-6's you want you squad will be dead as with the rest of your army as will the player have packed up and gone home with the rest of your models whilst you concerntrate on your dice. Have a nice day...JERK.


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## DarknessWithin (Jan 4, 2009)

What?!?!? there are no dice gods?!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


just kidding. Anyway why would you want to cheat at the wonderful and bloody game we have come to love? Is it to kill or avoid being killed? If so that's sad because after all dying isn't that important!:grin:
DarknessWithin


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## darklove (May 7, 2008)

There is no dice god. There are no gods of any sort, anywhere.

If you depend on a lucky roll to win then your list, tactics or strategy are pretty shit. I don't really care about the dice because everything will mostly average out over a game. If you know how to play and are good then you will win even if you are rolling the averages.


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## Grik (Jul 28, 2008)

darklove said:


> There is no dice god. There are no gods of any sort, anywhere.
> 
> If you depend on a lucky roll to win then your list, tactics or strategy are pretty shit. I don't really care about the dice because everything will mostly average out over a game. If you know how to play and are good then you will win even if you are rolling the averages.


Very true. It's much easier to add in extra points of wargear or a couple extra models into a unit then it is trying to cheat at rolling the dice. But anyone that cheats is just lame, it's like you're cheating to win anything at all, it's not like a game has millions of dollars riding on it and the winner takes it. It's all about having fun and blowing off steam, not point in cheating at all.


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## World Eater XII (Dec 12, 2008)

the dice gods are a good tension breaker in tourney matches and something to blame your seemingly bad or decent dice rolls or joke about your opponents dice rolls without being an arse  nd is generally fun.


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## marcch (Apr 1, 2008)

It's nice to have something to blame your bad luck on (Dice Gods), but in the end strategy and planning does account for something. I am renoun for being a terrible die roller and yet I still manage to win a game once in a while. I don't like people who cheat at games designed for relaxation, especially toy soldiers. You might at well play in the sandbox with "Green Army Men".


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## Stella Cadente (Dec 25, 2006)

marcch said:


> You might at well play in the sandbox with "Green Army Men".


well at least the rules worked back then :laugh:


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## Iraqiel (May 21, 2008)

Wow Jezlad, That's Amazing!

Actually, I've seen coins flip and land on their sides, but usually when I drop them, and never at such excellent timing.

And this isn't such a non-sequiter since it is a related random event. Perhaps it is a subtle expression of jezlad's true powers... the best way to influence a dice roll is to bend the sheer forces of reality with the power of your subconcious! Only with dice, you need the gestures and noises to help too!


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## Deceiver (Sep 19, 2007)

Blasphemy!!
The Dice gods do exist. I pray to them before every game. I wear a pair of fuzzy dice around my neck,set up burning candles on edges of table,read scripture from the Holy High Roller book, expose the dice tats up and down my arms and chant a prayer.
" Oh mighty 8lb. 4 oz. baby Dice gods. Please bless these dice of 40k gaming. May thee come up 3+ to hit and 4+ to wound (or higher if need be) every time. May thee smite my opponents models if they "accidentely" touch them whilst rolling. Give me the opportunity to roll buckets worth every round. Invoke the re-roll clause in these special dice when needed. Hear me oh tiny dice gods,so little and precious, (when the rolls are good and not when the rolls are bad). Repel my opponents words and thoughts when he is trying to curse these emaculate dice. Burn,electricute,and cause great pain to my opponent if he should dare touch these dice of divine rolling. Amen. Let's roll."

I like to picture my dice God as an Angel with big wings and lots of tattoos of dice on him. Singing lead vocals for Lynnyrd Skynnyrd. 

If you don't chew big red dice,then #$%^ you.


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## magician847 (Jan 4, 2007)

Jezlad said:


> I think people are over reacting here.
> 
> Off topic...
> 
> ...


do you reckon this could be repeated with a dice, but replacing "side" with "edge" or "corner"?

that would prove that Jezlad himself IS THE DICE GOD!

lol

M


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## Wraithian (Jul 23, 2008)

Deceiver said:


> Blasphemy!!
> The Dice gods do exist. I pray to them before every game. I wear a pair of fuzzy dice around my neck,set up burning candles on edges of table,read scripture from the Holy High Roller book, expose the dice tats up and down my arms and chant a prayer.
> " Oh mighty 8lb. 4 oz. baby Dice gods. Please bless these dice of 40k gaming. May thee come up 3+ to hit and 4+ to wound (or higher if need be) every time. May thee smite my opponents models if they "accidentely" touch them whilst rolling. Give me the opportunity to roll buckets worth every round. Invoke the re-roll clause in these special dice when needed. Hear me oh tiny dice gods,so little and precious, (when the rolls are good and not when the rolls are bad). Repel my opponents words and thoughts when he is trying to curse these emaculate dice. Burn,electricute,and cause great pain to my opponent if he should dare touch these dice of divine rolling. Amen. Let's roll."
> 
> ...


All while any album from Reverend Horton Heat playing softly in the background. :wink: Thanks for that, Deciever. I needed a good chuckle for the day.

But yes, if anyone takes the Dice Gods to be a serious entity, I'm going to quietly contemplate the nature of their sanity.


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## Vanchet (Feb 28, 2008)

.................Yea call me nuts (which I am) I'll stick with sacrificing babys and goats to the Dice Gods for help in games rather then try and ruin the game with scientific theories.


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## CaptainFatty (Nov 9, 2008)

trying to ask for cheats in a forum your mates use isnt a good idea...im gonna be keeping my eye on you next time

and 50% chance and your saying its not random? ur a genius you idiot


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## CaptainFatty (Nov 9, 2008)

Jezlad said:


> Plus in a wargaming setting the surface you're rolling on is likely a pitted sanded battlefield.


nope, we play on the floor, nice padding to stop the dice bouncing around randomly

something horn can use to his advantage


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## darklove (May 7, 2008)

At a game last week in my local GW one of the dice landed on its corner! Somehow all the hairspray they used on the gaming table made the flock really grippy.

It was quite spooky and nobody disputed that it was seriously cocked!


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## when in doubt shoot! (Oct 19, 2008)

I have a pet hate deeply rooted in this thread actually, people dropping dice, one at a time trying to improve their odds. Well, if you ask me, your big full strength squad of uber killy blokes in terminator armour that fire ninja death stars and lightning out their arse should give you enough of a chance at winning anyway.

what I'm trying to say is that for me, the only valid way to improve your chances on the dice is to field units that are good. You're a guard player, are you not? then if you're not happy with how you're always missing to hit and wound, then field a better army. Or why not change your race altogether? But one things for sure, you'd better get praying, for you've pissed off a whole temple full of dice related deities.


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## JokerGod (Jan 21, 2009)

The dice gods are displeased with you mortal! You shall roll 1s for the rest of eternity, or get your ass kicked for being a stupid ass cheater.


If you really need an "Uperhand" in a game of army men, use Vegas dice, they are still random but they roll higher on average then the GW dice. Hard corners and written numbers are better balanced.


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## Crimzzen (Jul 9, 2008)

Galahad said:


> One good way to avoid any problems with dice cheats (and minimize unwanted 'casualties' from flying dice) is to construct yourself a dice Tower with a nice fenced in courtyard (I'll probably take some pics of mine later)
> 
> It's a hollow bit of terrain (tower or silo shaped is the best) with some baffles inside (think of them as ramps that don't go all the way across) then opens out onto a fenced in courtyard. You drop the dice in the top and they bounce down the sloped baffles and fly out info the courtyard. The baffles make sure that the dice bounce randomly and make it impossible for a straight drop, and the courtyard keeps the dice from getting out into the battlefield
> 
> Mine has a rotating turn counter as well. very handy bit of terrain and easy to make. But because we don;t want minis getting hammered by dice we set it up on the edge of the battleground so the courtyard is out of the field of play




Wow, that's awesome, could you post or PM me pics?


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## Ste (Aug 28, 2008)

hells_fury said:


> hmmm, i vote we sacrifice the non-believer cheater to the dice gods
> 
> so you think your cool cause you can rig the dice in your favour, hell i bet you play online games with 97 diffrent hacks just so you dont lose there, u prob lied to your little brother about how to play snakes and ladders so you can win, hell u played hide and seek with your eyes open to see where everyone went i bet


SACRIFICEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SACRIFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The Dice Gods will not be happy....not happy at all


oh dear i pity you.

on a more serious note. you sad twat. grow the fuck up. me n my mates laugh out my friends 'weighted' dice and there japanese robot dice. but its a fucking game of plastic and metal space men? go jump


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## CaptainFatty (Nov 9, 2008)

haha ur copping it real bad

see why we all call you scum half way through a game?

STOP CHEATING!!!


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## hells_fury (Apr 17, 2008)

CaptainFatty said:


> trying to ask for cheats in a forum your mates use isnt a good idea...im gonna be keeping my eye on you next time
> 
> and 50% chance and your saying its not random? ur a genius you idiot


allow me to say to mr comminsar guy NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
how much stupider can you get lol


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## Marshal Balian (Apr 25, 2008)

The dice gods will hear of this..........


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## Crimzzen (Jul 9, 2008)

Joking or not, even discussion about cheating seems fairly retarded considering the game consists of moving barbie around shooting ken with rokkits!


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## Phrazer (Oct 14, 2008)

Guys this had cheered me up no end, what a great thread to read when your having a rubbish day in work. Its the perfect "there is always someone worse off than yourself" thread. Very funny, cheating the dice in 40k?? Get a grip lol

Maybe thats why everyone prays so much in the 40k universe, they know their fates are actually decided not on the strength of their armour of the power of their guns, but on the rolls of their masters dice!!


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## CommissarHorn (Apr 14, 2008)

Wow, this threads been going on for ages...


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## Galahad (Dec 21, 2006)

Since it's been requested, I posted my Dice Tower to the Scenery board


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## JokerGod (Jan 21, 2009)

CommissarHorn said:


> Wow, this threads been going on for ages...


And it shall go on forever until the dice gods are satisfied that the cheating kid is no longer insulting them.


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## vacantghost (Feb 16, 2008)

it sounds awfully unessescary although workable. but i think it shall stay as a theory till you can roll a thousand die and have them all turn up on the same thing.


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## Unforgiven302 (Oct 20, 2008)

On the serious note:

People that cheat at a game are lacking in moral strength. People asking other people on an online site dedicated to a game about how to cheat at said game are even worse. If you suck that bad at a game, (or in life for that fact) that you have to resort to cheating, you need to find another hobby and seek professional help to deal with your compulsion at winning at all costs at everything you do. 

On the lighter note: 

Some funny ass replies on here! 

And Deceiver, I always pictured my Dice God as wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It says, you know, "I wanna be formal yet, I'm here to party too." I like to party, so I want my Dice God to party too.


Oh, and if you wanna learn to cheat at dice, (because who doesn't wanna be known as a dickhead right?) here is one way of doing it... :nono:


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## Fugital357 (Jan 19, 2009)

Burn The Heretic!!!


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## JokerGod (Jan 21, 2009)

Unforgiven302 said:


> I always pictured my Dice God as wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It says, you know, "I wanna be formal yet, I'm here to party too." I like to party, so I want my Dice God to party too.
> 
> [/url]


I always pictured my Dice god as in a nice black suit with a black tie and 70s mobster had standing there saying "A! Yo, you want to you know, off this bastard?"

I guess its just an Italian thing tho...


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## Ste (Aug 28, 2008)

that video was iesting bt can you imagine someone sitting there in a 40k game with a cup XD and 200 dice cause his ork boyz hae jsut charged lol

'rubbing' them together XD ohhh dear

my dice god btw..... he wears a pristine white suit and a matchign tie nad shirt with little dice cufflinks


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## hells_fury (Apr 17, 2008)

right now my dice god is like the mafia, hes got his boys round and they have some power swords and hand flamers just to deal with people who dont believe in them *cough* CommissarHorn *cough*


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## Sarcasm (Nov 23, 2008)

Fugital357 said:


> Burn The Heretic!!!



Burn him! Burnings too good for him. I say we throw dice at him until he repents! :crazy:


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## Unforgiven302 (Oct 20, 2008)

"Hanging's too good for him! Burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little-bitsy pieces and buried alive!"
-Hanover Fiste-


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## lord_caldera (Sep 25, 2008)

Take a page out of Vlad's book and impale the cheating dickwad! May the wrathful Dice Gods pour ones onto all of CommissarHorn's life for being a dipshit.


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## NurglingStomper (Jan 31, 2009)

The dice gods will be most displeased for this blasphemy. 
Remember the good dice giveth, and the good dice he taketh away. lol


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## Deceiver (Sep 19, 2007)

You cannot cheat the dice Gods. They will scissorkick you in the back of the head and go apeshit on your arse.
For those who don't believe,you have a lumpy butt.

For those who insist on calling people cheaters-- There's no such thing as cheating. It's called "creative interpretation of the rules".


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## hells_fury (Apr 17, 2008)

Deceiver said:


> For those who insist on calling people cheaters-- There's no such thing as cheating. It's called "creative interpretation of the rules".


so rigging the dice is what the GW people want you to intepret roll a D6 as??????? im confused. oh and moving models 2" futher is how GW people want you to intepret infantry can only move 6"


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