# Are Orks tasty?



## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

I'm extremely hungry at the moment, so when I read a thread about Orks being mushrooms, a natural thought occured to me:

Are Orks edible, in normal or mushroom form? Because Squigs and Squiggoths are supposed to be pretty nice, and Orks are very close biological relatives. I can imagine some Guardmen, short on food or really bored of their rations roasting up a Squig that they shot. Besides, lasguns would basically pre-cook everything for them.

Hope the thread isn't weird, it's the munchies talking.


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## Samules (Oct 13, 2010)

Sure but a baby boy will be sprouting from your chest in a few months. Ork out of the stomach is not fun.


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## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

Samules said:


> Sure but a baby boy will be sprouting from your chest in a few months. Ork out of the stomach is not fun.


Ah, but fire kills them AND their reproductiive capabilities. So it's fine to eat Ork if you boil/roast/fry the meat first.


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## Samules (Oct 13, 2010)

I guess in that case it would depend on the seasoning. Maybe try chargrilling some mushrooms and experiment with the spices and sauce to find what works. Then find an ork and do the same.


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## Nicholas Hadrian (Mar 20, 2011)

...

You people frighten me.


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## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

Orks taste surprisingly like Tofu... Don't ask how i know that...

CP


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## High_Seraph (Aug 28, 2009)

But why not Mein Kommissar?


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## SoL Berzerker (May 5, 2009)

They would probablt taste like crap. Creatures taste differently based on what they eat, Orks probably don't have the greatest of diets.


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## Malus Darkblade (Jan 8, 2010)

Orks eat fungi.


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## Chompy Bits (Jun 13, 2010)

Actually, Orks eat all kinds of crap. Occasionally, they even eat people.


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## gen.ahab (Dec 22, 2009)

Yes.
My suggestion would be to find one of the young ones and sauté it with a little butter and wine. It will go nice with some steak or even some nice fish.


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## Nicholas Hadrian (Mar 20, 2011)

gen.ahab said:


> Yes.
> My suggestion would be to find one of the young ones and sauté it with a little butter and wine. It will go nice with some stake or even some nice fish.


Howsabout some fava beans and a nice Chianti too?


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## HUMYN HYBRID (Aug 9, 2011)

.............

and people thought i was weird


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## DeathKlokk (Jun 9, 2008)

Commissar Ploss said:


> Orks taste surprisingly like Tofu... Don't ask how i know that...
> 
> CP


I would put forth that Tofu tastes like Orks! At least their boots.


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## gen.ahab (Dec 22, 2009)

Nicholas Hadrian said:


> Howsabout some fava beans and a nice Chianti too?


Possibly. 

Side note: FACE PALM. Good lord, I misspelled steak. :headbutt:


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## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

An ork sausage/burger/hot dog I think would be the most realistic dish, as Guardsmen obviously love to throw up barbecues. Squigs would feature prominently too.

Next question-as Orks are fungoids (or start out as fungoids), do they count as a vegetarian dish?


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

Chompy Bits said:


> Actually, Orks eat all kinds of crap. Occasionally, they even eat people.


Occasionally? This is pretty common dude. They're not above eating each other either. 



HUMYN HYBRID said:


> .............
> 
> and people thought i was weird


You are. That never once changed.  



Sturmovic said:


> An ork sausage/burger/hot dog I think would be the most realistic dish, as Guardsmen obviously love to throw up barbecues. Squigs would feature prominently too.
> 
> Next question-as Orks are fungoids (or start out as fungoids), do they count as a vegetarian dish?


It depends on when you get them. Only when they're still in the cocoon can they be considered a vegetarian dish. 

Once they start developing muscle tissue and internal organs, they have to be biologically considered meat products. At this stage, I feel I should mention they are also far more difficult to get into a can.


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## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

Serpion5 said:


> It depends on when you get them. Only when they're still in the cocoon can they be considered a vegetarian dish. .


Fair enough.



Serpion5 said:


> Once they start developing muscle tissue and internal organs, they have to be biologically considered meat products. At this stage, I feel I should mention they are also far more difficult to get into a can.


But when in a killa can they can only eat soup through a straw, and hardly ever move so they'd be more tender than their brethren.

I think we found a winner for the tastiest kind of ork!


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## High_Seraph (Aug 28, 2009)

Nah that goes to the Wierdboys.


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## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

High_Seraph said:


> Nah that goes to the Wierdboys.


 
Don't they explode when killed?


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## Dicrel Seijin (Apr 2, 2011)

According to their codex, an Ork smells worse than a diseased Grox languishing in its own dung. And they have parasites.

Also remember that their skin is leather tough, muscles are probably even more so, so you will need quite a bit of tenderizer (a thunder hammer for instance).

The taste is probably going to be bad since it's not fungi but algae that's in their DNA. I've had mushrooms and I've had seaweed, but never at the same time.


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## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

Eh. Nids don't seem to mind. :dunno:


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## Dicrel Seijin (Apr 2, 2011)

Serpion5 said:


> Eh. Nids don't seem to mind. :dunno:


Nids will consume the liquified biomass of a planet. They are not exactly the gourmands of 40K. :biggrin:


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## Sturmovic (Jun 18, 2011)

Dicrel Seijin said:


> According to their codex, an Ork smells worse than a diseased Grox languishing in its own dung. And they have parasites.
> 
> Also remember that their skin is leather tough, muscles are probably even more so, so you will need quite a bit of tenderizer (a thunder hammer for instance).
> 
> The taste is probably going to be bad since it's not fungi but algae that's in their DNA. I've had mushrooms and I've had seaweed, but never at the same time.


I would volunteer that their smell is down to orkish hygiene rather than their meat. Pigs aren't the nicest smelling creatures on Earth either.

And as for toughness, well I'd say that a gourmand Guardsman has options in the form of space orks (less gravity=less muscle toughness), killa kan orks, and squigs.


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## Davidicus 40k (Jun 4, 2010)

No, I don't think Orks are tasty, though I would not be surprised if a particularly desperate Guard unit resorted to at least attempting to eat them. Without those tasty mass-produced rations in a can that Guardsmen love so much, they'd have to resort to desperate measures. There's a high probability that the rations taste worse.

Now, for all those scoffing at Mr. Sturmovic and his reasons for making such a thread, I say to hell with you! These are the types of difficult questions that need to be asked in life, for the betterment of humanity (or, at least, curious 40k players)!


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## LukeValantine (Dec 2, 2008)

Are orcs tasty? Not sure, but it is cannon is the comics and some rare novels that some IG armies due eat them. I think it was the blood grail? series were a group of blood angels seeking redemption came upon a group of IG that were eating dead orcs by roasting them over a fire.


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## Chompy Bits (Jun 13, 2010)

Serpion5 said:


> Occasionally? This is pretty common dude.


Yeah, I know. Was simply mentioning it because some people could read Malus' post as implying that they only eat fungi.




Serpion5 said:


> They're not above eating each other either.


Yeah, Malus already said that.


There's nothing wrong with eating Orks. Puts hair on your chest.


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## Nicholas Hadrian (Mar 20, 2011)

Chompy Bits said:


> Yeah, Malus already said that.
> 
> 
> There's nothing wrong with eating Orks. Puts hair on your chest.


But...but... Orks don't HAVE hair.....>.>...


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## Davidicus 40k (Jun 4, 2010)

LukeValantine said:


> ...came upon a group of IG that were eating dead orcs by roasting them over a fire.


*sings* Ork guts roasting on an open fire... Jack Frost nipping at your nose...

Yeah, it's a month late :grin:.


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## Rhino 88 (Jan 1, 2012)

oh man, cut back on your puffing, get a girl friend, move her in to then cook for you...
(you shop, then tell her what to cook...)

Drugs are bad.....mmmmkay


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## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

I can imagine that if you ate like...spores or unborn ork it'd taste ok. But anything that eats that much garbage would not be tasty, Orks eat raw squig, human flesh, any animals they can kill. and even some times machinery and bits oil. Not to mention their fungus beer that probably tastes like paint thinner on steroids... They also never bathe, and their settlements have a constant filth everywhere and stink...it gets so bad even orks notice it.

So I'd imagine its like eating a cannibalistic meat eating unwashed hippie. And we all know what that tastes like...

Pachouli.


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