# Sons Of Corax



## Talonmaster Raptoris (Jul 5, 2008)

Okay, I lied when I wrote "Callidus" that was not my last attempt at a story. :grin:This might be.... I will continue my catachan story but I will see if people want me to continue this because I think it's good.

It was noon. The blue giant sun was at it’s apex, relentlessly scorching the dusty surface of Coronalis VII. Ths extreme heat glare from the cobalt star burned against the salt mountains melting the chemical compound into fizzling streams of molten sodium. The volatile lava emanated an acrid stench that reached every corner of the continent with it’s foulness. Abandoned industrial machines littered the valley, heavily eroded from decades of ill maintenance and sulphurous rain. The once proud planetary mining apparatuses creaked in the dry wind, rust fragments peeling off like a dandruff infected scalp. It would seem unlikely that a battle would take place here, but then again, fate loves to contradict.

Suddenly, in a sharp intake of air, a small flotilla of thunderhawks blasted out of nowhere into the west edge of the caldera, the engines billowing the grey sand. Immediately, crackling energy discharges glanced off the hull, skittering along the armor like a crude vox antennae. One burst of concentrated fire ripped into a drop ship’s engine reactor exploding it in a plume of electrical flame. The wounded drop ship spiraled downwards, crashing into the plateau like a dagger unto ribs, exploding it’s remains into burning oblivion. Return fire came from the drop ships as well, twin-linked heavy turrets fire carving into the mesa, showering dirt on impact.

Librarian Ischial Octis waited. He sat hunched in a meditative trance focusing his mind for the battle to come. He could already hear his brothers battling on the surface, the roar of their bolters a testament to the combat that locked them. He wished to join them but quelled his impatience and prepared his mind. He felt the psychic energy course through him heightening his senses, the sounds of combat amplifying tenfold. The pilot’s voice alerted him back to the contemporary, bellowing:
“Drop is a go!!! Ten seconds, Emperor be with you”!!!
He grabbed his war gear and checked the ammo in his bolter. Finding a full clip, he adjusted the sights and shouted to his squad.
“Drop in 5...4...3...2...1, For the Emperor!, Jump”!!

He ran out off the back of the ship, plunging into the carnage below. He reveled in the gut wrenching feeling of free fall, relishing the sensation of the stale air rush towards him. He flared his jump pack at the last second, the power of the boost jerking his shoulders up before he landed. He dropped into a roll as he hit the ground ducking behind a rust covered drill machine sporadic bolts of energy sizzling into the ground beside him. The Eldar in the bunkers fired a non-stop salvo of gunfire, the inaccurate shot stitching across the ground like a maniacal surgeon, spraying the Iron Hands with opaque dirt as they advanced up the incline with disciplined tenacity.

The rest of his squad fell in behind him, adding their guns to fray. He could see the rest of his company firing concentrated fans of gunfire at the bunkers, every fusillade of shells silencing an enemy turret. He took aim and fired a burst shot at an Eldar manning a gun platform. Through his zoomed sights he seen the shots rip a bloody fissure across it’s chest, veins belching coppery paste onto the wall behind it. His warrior followed suite, guns thundering into the concealed enemy emplacements, mowing down the Eldar in massive volleys of fire. His inter- suit vox clicked on and a clipped voice shouted:

“Captain, we have a problem!” He recognized the voice of Sergeant Dethis Mar.
“What is it sergeant”??
“Augustine is dead, his thunderhawk was shot down, there’s no one covering Saermon squad coming up the center”!!
“What’s your status”?
“Green sir”
“Then move into Augustine’s planned position”
“But that’ll leave vulnerable to gunfire from the west flank”??!!
“We’ll manage sergeant” There was a brief moment of static and the sergeant seemed about to contradict his order. Finally, he replied.
“Affirmative, moving”

Rage tore at his breast. Brother captain Psaulmus Augustine had been a loyal friend, mentor, and close confidant. The xenos would pay dearly for this. He focused his anger into a burning orb of energy and locked it away in his mind’s eye, ready to use when the time came.
“Squad move out”
They sprinted across open ground to a array of bullet scarred stones, ducking and shooting bursts of cover fire into the air. Brother-sergeant Ta’rion slid into cover beside him firing blind into the air.
“Captain, the Terminator wedge has dropped” 
“Excellent, Sergeant we’ll begin our advance as soon as Dharaal....He never finnished the sentance. A bullet sliced into Ta’rions neck, plastering blood onto his visor, the warrior toppling to the ground.

He snapped up, catching a quick glance in the direction the shot had come from. A battalion of Eldar stormed down the hill, firing into their position. He fired from his hip, a fan of shells slicing into their ranks cutting a shallow bite into their military force. Blood flared from the wounds he inflicted , the xenos callously unperturbed by their companions death. He slung his bolter over his massive shoulder and drew his chainsword, revving the motorized teeth. With a wordless battle -cry, he charged into the altercation.

His slashed downwards in a lightening fast arc, lopping off an arm. The Eldar’s armor was obviously made for aerodynamics rather than protection, the blades edge easily carving through the bleach ivory aegis. He ended the screams with a vicious left hook, caving in the angular skull in a crack of bone. He looked up from his kill to see an enemy hack one of his soldiers in two. Growling in his fury he reached into his reserve of energy, and lashed out with his powers. Time seemed to slow, and his astral self left his body, a translucent phantasm of ethereal energy.
He walked through the carnage, ducking the glacially slow bullets as he progressed towards the killer. Standing in front of him, he reached through it’s chest and ripped out it’s heart, at the same time deactivating his terrorsight.

The Eldar, died screaming as his heart was ripped from his very chest, the veins squirting blood into nothing, the ichor welling like a borehole from the rive. The initial shock from the strike was lost, and his company of Iron Hands cut down the remaining Eldar infantry.
This battle was over, but there was much more to accomplish on this salty rock, and the Emperor's Angels would see it through.


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## darkreever (Apr 3, 2008)

Its a decent story, but I don't think it rings off as Raven Guard but more like a chapter that is more brutal. (Raven Guard are better known for drop pod surgical strikes brought in by well placed tactical squads and assault squad support after all.)

Also, two captains? Librarian-captain? Where are the shadow-captains who lead the Raven Guard companies?

Definitely continue the story, but I don't think as Raven Guard.


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## Talonmaster Raptoris (Jul 5, 2008)

interesting, what chapter would you suggest??


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## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

i would say continue, because it is quite good, but do change the chapter. possibly something like Space Wolves, or the like. they like the straight forward method. i'm not to familiar with other chapters, but i dare say there are others out there who like to slug it out head on. Just find out how frequently they induct new battle-brothers into their ranks to fill out their 1000. That should give you a better sense of what their tactics are like. nice try with the Raven Guard however, i don't see enough stories about them.


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## officer kerky (Jun 12, 2008)

i liked the story. sure the chapter isnt right but still good. can you continue the story


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## SyNide (Nov 24, 2007)

Personally, i like your style, but there are so many issues with the story.

Firstly, you makes the assumption that the DE would ever defend a mon'keigh position. The DE wouldn't ever do that, they come in, kill and capture slaves before speeding off. Secondly, you assumes that the DE would run like that at an opponent...maybe a stupid Archon would lead his men that way, but that seems more like an Orkish tactic.

As for your portrayal of the Raven Guard...we don't have Librarian Captains, that seems more like a Blood Raven thing. Also, the tactics as pointed out is just wrong. On a position like that, the marines would have either been drop podded on top of the bunker or assault marines would deepstrike from the thunderhawk flying high and raking the ground with it's heavy bolters.

The terminators would not have been going down the center, they would have teleported in.

If anything, i would say this is either the Space wolves or some random DIY chapter...maybe even the Blood Ravens.

I'd say continue with the story, but change it to another chapter and a different Xenos enemy. Nonetheless, I applaud you for trying to use two armies that have rarely seen fluff.


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## Talonmaster Raptoris (Jul 5, 2008)

oh 
This is kinda a failure then. 
I apologize for not doing a good job covering Raven Guard fluff. Never mind about the continuing thing, I had plans, but that's okay. Thanks anyway.

-Talonmaster


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## bobss (May 18, 2008)

also i think you have beefed up your detail to much i mean if this were to be published many readers would not understand the current situations, i mean i like how you have used lots of detail its just i think theres to much.

like 'They strafed across open ground to a jumble of terra cotta stones, ducking and shooting cannonades of cover fire into the air' 

many readers wouldn`t understand strafed, or cannonades and jumble dosent exactly suit the situation described, maybe the word 'array' would sound better, plus i think the ' terracotta ' bit is unnesacary and abit dull ' an array of stones , scarred from the continuess volley of enemy fire? your work is great its just when to add less or more detail in my opinion.

as for cannonades could be changed to burst as you wouldn`t waste much ammo on covering fire.

but i thorougly enjoed your battle sequences


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## Luciferi (Mar 2, 2008)

Continue this story or face destruction ¬___¬!


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## Farseer Beltiac (Jul 11, 2008)

Talonmaster Raptoris said:


> oh
> This is kinda a failure then.
> I apologize for not doing a good job covering Raven Guard fluff. Never mind about the continuing thing, I had plans, but that's okay. Thanks anyway.
> 
> -Talonmaster


Hey, it was still a good story:good:, you just need to tweek it a little. Make it more Raven Guard, sometimes it's hard to find info and fluff here and there. Sometimes we struggle with our arts and creativity. I'v been working on a painting all summer and finally I break through from were I was stuck at. Keeping working bro, its better then some fluff I written myself in the past....


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## Talonmaster Raptoris (Jul 5, 2008)

okay you guys insisted, so I edited it to make it Iron Hands.
They seem more of the brutal foot slogging type than surgical strike. The tactics are probably still wrong:rtfm: (sorry SyNide) and it's regular Eldar this time.

If you guys still want me to do more I will. I await your response
-Talonmaster


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## darkreever (Apr 3, 2008)

In all seriousness Raptoris, your writing is great but your choice of protagonist was the only thing that was amiss. Iron Hands may be more brutal and lean towards the style you write, but they are also a bit more machine-like in nature. The Blood Ravens might be a better chapter for you to use, they fit the bill of your writing the best. (Led by captains and librarians is definitely their thing.)


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