# Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 3: Betrayal Voting Thread



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

Yes, I know I'm an hour early, but I'm going to bed! You still have until 1200 am EST (US East Coast time) to post your stories in the competition thread, but I'm putting this up so I don't have to stay awake haha.

This concludes the third Heresy-Online Expeditious Stories Competition!

Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Turnout has again improved a little bit, which is great! Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.

Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, which works quite conveniently as there are only three stories, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.

Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt

*When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:*
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.

Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If you cast any votes, you have to cast all three, no picking a single story and nothing more.

Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.

By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.

Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum.

As a reminder, *this month's winner will be placed in the next issue of The Heretic*! 

Just to emphasize again, _you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes!_ The more people that cast their votes, the better!

The deadline for voting will be *Sunday, 3 April 2011*. At that time this thread will be completed, the winner declared, and the new HOES topic for Competition 4 will be posted (the topic of which has yet to be decided, so send me your ideas!)

Here are the entries for HOES #3:
Dark Angel - _Betrayal_
Doelago - _Artefact_
Stephen_Newman - _The Purging of Slis'thrak_
C'Tan Chimera - _By the Blood of the Wronged_
Gothik - _Kannada_
Mossy Toes - _Survivor_
Bane_of_Kings - _The Tower_
Boc - _Are You Ready, Brother?_
Vulkansnodosaurus - _Should be Expected_
Shogun Nate - _Iron Within_
Ckcrawford - _Put to Rest_

As a reminder, you do not need to have written a story to vote. Any and all Heretics are more than welcome to check out the stories and cast their votes for their favourites.


Now get voting!


----------



## C'Tan Chimera (Aug 16, 2008)

There was a lot to go around this time with a lot of similar vibes, so this was a tricky one.

*1rst: Are You Ready, Brother?*- Picking between first and second was damned hard, but Boc's won first in the end because it provided a sense of middle-ground between loyalist and traitor astartes that GW has yet to even poke with a meter stick. Not to mention it's executed *no pun intended* in such a way that it keeps you guessing as what's what and who's who up until the twist ending. A great idea carried out just as well.

*2nd: Survivor*- Oh man, this one is just brutal. Mossy Toes may have done his job of writing a little too well because it is not helping me and my repulsion towards the Imperium. A much more intimate sense of betrayal than the other stories here pumped a lot of life into an otherwise drab, depressing story. 

*3rd: Put to Rest*- running along the same way as Are You Ready, Brother? I like this one because it bridges the gaps between extremes. The idea of rogue Guardsmen remaining loyal to the Emperor but seeing the Imperium for the grimdark shithole it is... It's something I would like to see more of.


----------



## Bane_of_Kings (Oct 28, 2009)

1st - 3 points: Mossy Toes, Suvivior
2nd - 2 points: Boc, Are you ready, brother?
3rd - 1 point: Dark Angel, Betrayal

They were all fantastic entries but I think I enjoyed these three the most. However, it was a very tight spot between all of the top three.


----------



## Stephen_Newman (Jul 14, 2009)

I would like to rank the stories as such:

3rd Bane of kings's the tower. I liked the story even though the twist at the end was predictable in my opinion.

2nd Mossy Toe's survivor. Yet another good story and it came really close to my top 1st

1st CKCrawford's Put to rest. A brilliant story that combined originality with a fantastic plot.


Some entries would have made the list if they suitable in different ways. Some like Darkangels I felt was too loosely connected to the 40K universe whilst I also like originality rather than copying a point in time like BOC's which I felt mirrored the events of the Isstvan drop site massacre a bit too closely.


----------



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

Stephen_Newman said:


> like BOC's which I felt mirrored the events of the Isstvan drop site massacre a bit too closely.


I may be misreading your comment, but in my defense the story was based at the Istvaan dropsite


----------



## Stephen_Newman (Jul 14, 2009)

I hold nothing against you. It's just that originality rates really high in my list of whats good and what is not. It takes a lot to come up with a good original plausible story.


----------



## gothik (May 29, 2010)

1st place mossy toes survivour 3pts
2nd place bane of kings the tower 2pts
3rd place boc are you ready brother 1pt


----------



## Mossy Toes (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm flattered by all the votes so far, folks! Thanks!

1) Shogun Nate - Iron Within (3 pts)
2) Boc - Are You Ready, Brother? (2 pts)
3) C'Tan Chimera - By the Blood of the Wronged (1 pt)

Honorable mentions go out to:
Ckcrawford - Put to Rest
Vulkansnodosaurus - Should be Expected


----------



## Mossy Toes (Jun 8, 2009)

Also, a quick tally of points so far, with stories whose authors have voted (and so validated any points attributed to them) underlined:

7 - Dark Angel - Betrayal
3 - Doelago - Artefact
3 - Stephan_Newman - The Purging of Slis'thrak
1 - C'Tan Chimera - By the Blood of the Wronged
2 - Gothik - Kannada
16 - Mossy Toes - Survivor
7 - Bane_of_Kings - The Tower
12 - Boc - Are You Ready, Brother?
0 - Vulkansnodosaurus - Should be Expected
9 - Shogun_Nate - Iron Within
12 - Ck Crawford - Put to Rest

(note: I will be retroactively editing this to account for votes that come after this tally is posted)

(added up to Some Call Me... TIM)


----------



## TRU3 CHAOS (May 21, 2010)

Nice stories here. +Rep to all you guys. But also...

1. Put to Rest, Ckcrawford, 3pts
2. Kannada, Gothik, 2pts
3. Betrayel, Dark Angel, 1 pt


----------



## gothik (May 29, 2010)

thanks tru3 chaos gad you liked it


----------



## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

1. Mossy Toes-Survivor: There is little I can add that hasn't already been mentioned but Mossy is one of the best fanfic writers I've read. You, good sir, can sure turn a story and you do a very good job of it. 3pts

2. Boc-Are you ready, Brother?: This and Mossy's story were very close in my mind when I read them. I had to go back and forth between the two repeatedly before I decided. Damn fine job Boc! 2pts

3. Ckcrawford-Put to Rest: Another great story! 

Now, while these three get my top choice, I still must say that ALL of you did a damn fine job! I'm really enjoying this as I get to read a plethora of fiction that forces everyone to put their best foot forward within such a tight limitation. Anyone can write a thirty page short story and get their point across but it takes real talent to get the job done within a range of 900-1,100 words. You may not have gotten my vote but I still think you did great!

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate


----------



## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

I'll be driving a lot this weekend so I decided to vote a bit early. But just to mention, my votes reflect certain qualities and interests of the stories that I personally liked. It had nothing to do who wrote their stories better. You all wrote some good stories and it was quite difficult to vote with all the skills the authors had or other interesting characterisitics they put into their characters and plots. 

1. Doelago - Artefact, 3 pts

2. Dark Angel - Betrayal, 2 pts

3. Boc - Are You Ready, Brother? 1 pt

And good job all of you.


----------



## VulkansNodosaurus (Dec 3, 2010)

1st- Shogun Nate, Iron Within, 3 pts.
2nd- Dark Angel, Betrayal, 2 pts.
3rd- Mossy Toes, Survivor, 1 pt.


----------



## jaggedjaw (Oct 2, 2010)

3rd.
Boc - Are You Ready, Brother? this is the first loyalist marine thing I've ever liked.
2nd.
Bane_of_Kings - The Tower The fact that the inquisitor was given over to chaos just made it.
1st.
Stephen_Newman - The Purging of Slis'thrak Eldar inquisitors killing everyone. how can you not like that?

also sorry i didn't write this time but i'll try to get in "fer unova goes round" k?


----------



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

1st - Shogun_Nate's "Iron Within" - The intricate nature of the entire piece was astounding. Betrayal could be felt within each sentence of the story, and it was both incredibly well-written and applicable to the theme. Well done, good sir.

2nd - Mossy Toes' "Survivor" - You always shock me with your stories, Mossy, as they always exceed my expectations. You crushed it, and although it also beautifully exemplified the theme, the sheer applicability of it in "Iron Within" is what won me over.

3rd - Ckcrawford's "Put to Rest" - I think this is actually the first piece I've read from you, and to be honest I was quite pleasantly surprised. Very well planned and executed, and I'll have to keep my eye out on you in the future...

Well, there are my votes, excellent stories by all and as always a huge thanks for participating. *26.25 hours left to vote!*


----------



## andygorn (Apr 1, 2011)

To all, these were all very good -really dynamic characters and different takes on the theme- I think it's almost a shame to have to put numbers on any of these, but:

1st = Shogun Nate "Iron Within" (3pts)
= I really liked the detail, made me want to read more.

2nd = ckcrawford "Put to rest" (2pts)
= really enjoyed the description

3rd = Boc "Are You Ready, Brother?" (1pt)
= very good insight into motivations


----------



## Some Call Me... TIM (Apr 3, 2011)

I would like to get into one of these things. Before I joined, I was reading some of this stuff and I thought some of it was real. 

1. Ck Crawford - Put to Rest. Loved the stories details. And I felt for these astartes despite what they did.

2. Bane_of_Kings - The Tower. Thought this story was quite exceptional. I liked the descriptions of the Inquisitor as I've never read fluff about them yet.

3. Dark Angel - Betrayal. A very well created story, and I was glad to read this one first.


----------



## Mossy Toes (Jun 8, 2009)

Boc: are you saying you have low expectations about my work? :ireful2:


----------



## Doelago (Nov 29, 2009)

ckcrawford said:


> *1. Doelago - Artefact, 3 pts*
> 
> 2. Dark Angel - Betrayal, 2 pts
> 
> 3. Boc - Are You Ready, Brother? 1 pt


Dude, wait, wtf? :scratchhead:


----------



## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

Doelago said:


> Dude, wait, wtf? :scratchhead:


How dare you question my AuthoriTIE Doelago! It angers me. But I am merciful. 

I liked your story quite a bit. 

It had topics which I was interested in like Iron Within, and Are you Ready Brother, and also has some quality writing like Survivor. I stick with my vote all the way.


----------



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

Tim: I'll have next month's topic up tomorrow, please feel free to enter!

Mossy: Horrendously low, I know you are in fact a monkey trained to type!

Dark Angel and Doelago, you've got 3 hours left to vote, as well as any other readers, let's go!


----------



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

Okay, yes, I'm slow!

But the results are (the tension of the moment has been ruined by Mossy's running tally  )


*WINNER OF HOES #3* Mossy Toes: Survivor with 16 points!

*Tied for Second Place* Boc: Are You Ready Brother? - and - Ckcrawford: Put to Rest each with 12 points

No third place since 2nd was a tie.

It's awesome to see the contest grow, thanks to those of you who have participated each month as well as those of you that are getting sucked in 

I'll get next month's topic posted here shortly!


----------



## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Boc said:


> !
> 
> *Tied for Second Place* Boc: Are You Reader Brother?


I'd like to know Boc...Are you a reader, brother? :biggrin: Could have been worse...you could have typed breeder...:laugh:

Still, congratulations to the winners! Fine job all around! And those that didn't win, fine job all around as well! You guys are great!

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate


----------



## ckcrawford (Feb 4, 2009)

2nd PLACE! 

Its goes... first the worst.. second the best. third the one with the hairy chest.

Well because I'm really cool, I'm the tie breaker. Sorry Boc.:grin:


----------



## VulkansNodosaurus (Dec 3, 2010)

(Belated) Congratulations to Mossy Toes!
[Somewhat upset about getting last place, but oh well. I'll try to do better next competition.]


----------

