# The Sticky Story Contest (I just made up)



## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Here is a rather stupid writing competition I just made up. You have to write a 40k story using the emoticons from the forum.

The Horus Heresy -

Once upon a time (in the future), the entire galaxy was controlled by the God-Emperor :king:

He had a son named Horus:wacko: who he loved very much:friends:

One day Horus:wacko: was mucking about on a moon and he got stabbed:blackeye:

During his treatment, his spirit went into the Warp and he met the Chaos Gods - Nurgle- uke:, Slaanesh - :crazy:, Tzeentch - :spiteful: and Khorne - :angry:

When he got back from his daytrip to the Warp, Horus:wacko: decided he wanted to be Emperor :king:

So he got together a bunch of his super friends - Angron:ireful2:, Fulgrim :smoke: and Mortarion:threaten: and decided to go beat up his Daddy.

However, Magnus :victory:, thought that they were being naughty and tried to warn the Emeperor:king: by using sorcerery :clapping:

But the silly billy Emperor:king: thought that Magnus:victory: was the traitor and sent his good friend Leman Russ :santa: and his Space Wolves:drinks: to go and arrest him. But that went all wrong and Magnus:victory: ran away and became a Chaos fan instead:wild:

Horus:wacko: got bored and started to blow stuff up and be mean to people for like, no reasonunish:

After a few days of beating people up and virus bombing their planets, he got all his great mates together:ireful2::smoke::threaten: and invaded Terra.

There was a big punch up between those that like the Emperor:aggressive::aggressive::aggressive::aggressive: and those that liked Horus:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

The fight went on for a long time:boredom: and Horus' forces couldn't get through the Imperial Palace walls:headbutt:. So Horus :wacko: got bored and he made up a fib about his ship's forcefield to get his Dad:king: on board. The Emperor:king: told Horus to stop mucking about:nono: 

But Horus:wacko: was very naughty indeed:fuck: and stabbed his Dad :blackeye: who then became an undead spirit:lazy2: and lived in a golden throne being worshipped forever:angel:

From that day forward, the Imperium was run by -

The Inquistion:rtfm:
The Adminstratum:read:
The Space Marines:aggressive:
The Imperial Guard:suicide:
The Adeptus Astra Telepathica:fool:
Navis Nobilite, Navigators:gamer1: 
Adeptus Astronomica:dunno:
Adeptus Mechanicus:gamer2:
Adeptus Arbites:security:
Officio Assassinorum:hang1:

Now I pass the gauntlet over to youicknose:


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## normtheunsavoury (Mar 20, 2008)

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Highly entertaining:goodpost:


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:... WHOOO!!!!.... NOW THAT'S LITERATURE!!!!.... HAHAHA....


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

You, sir, are certifiably insane...creatively humorous, but insane none the less. Damn you..now I want to make one :ireful2:

Sigh :laugh:

Nate(who will most likely spend the better part of an afternoon making his own silly sticky story)


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## Col. Schafer (Apr 15, 2008)

*Schafers last chancers:*

One day there was a verry deranged man named Col. Schaferunish: He got together a bunch of criminals and made the join the imperial guard :russianroulette:. His second in comand was Kage:wild: Kage was nuts. He told all the criminals, and Kage that the last one standing went free.:aggressive: Over time, ho took them on so many suicide:suicide: missions that they all started to hate Schaferunish: a lot.  A lot of them even tried to desert. They all ended up dead.:hang1:. After a while, There were only a few left. Kage:wild: was one of them. Schaferunish: took them on another suicide mission. This one was against tirinids.:bye: This went rather poorly. They got the mission done, but the only ones to survive were schaferunish: and kage:wild:. Since Kage:wild: was the last man standing, he got to go free:so_happy:.Once he got to go free, the first thing Kage:wild: did was get drunk. :alcoholic: After that someone pissed kage:wild: off, so he got in a fight and beet them up.:blackeye: Then Schaferunish: showed up and arrested him. See Kage wasnt allowed to beet people up.:blackeye:. So shafer showed him a paper:rtfm: that let him Make Kage:wild: be a criminal again. After that, Kage:wild: went on a mission with some other people:drinks: to hang out with some Tau:gamer1:, and eventualy screw them over.:sarcastichand: They pretended to be diplomats on a ship.:angel: The tau fell for it. They even told some jokes that werent funny.:no: Then when Kage:wild: got to the tau world, he kicked some ass:biggrin:. Then they all went to armageadon, where Shaferunish: tricked a soldir into being on his team.:taunt: After that, they attacked a city:aggressive:. In the end they all died.:hang1: That was because Kage:wild: found out he had a daemon:ireful2: inside of him. He didnt want to be that way, so kage:wild: did a suiside attack on someone.:suicide:. That was how it all went down. :mrgreen: I was sad:cray: that Kage:wild: died:suicide: He was cool.

What do you think? My memory of the story is a bit fragmented.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Hee, hee, hee Col. Schafer - I particularly liked the part where you were sad that Kage died, he was cool. Very well done.:victory:


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

The Age of Apostasy -

After the Emperor:king: snuffed it (or not), the Eccleisarchy:rtfm: (priests and that) wanted to be teacher:so_happy:

But they spent all their dinner money on wine:drinks: and temples and statues and new hats.:santa:

So the Administratum:read: (people who work in offices and that), said, no, you are spending too much money:nono:

But the Ecclesiarchy:rtfm: said go away:fuck:, we like statues and hats:santa:

Then, an evil man called Vandire who was like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons left his office and went round to the church with a stick and hit the priests on the headunish::blackeye:

The priests:rtfm: complained, but Vandire laughed :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:and said, I have two houses now, my office house and my priest house. So the priests:rtfm: got on their space boats and went to another planet:bye:

Vandire got bored:boredom:, so he went round to other planets and hit them with a stick unish:and said, be nice to me:gimmefive: or I will hit you with a stick again.

After being mean and hitting people with sticks, Vandire had nobody to play with, so he went round to a girls school and said, I am the bestest:training:, you have to be my friends:friends: and that's how the Daugthers of the Emperor:angel::angel::angel: was born.

The Daughters of the Emperor:angel::angel: had to be his girlfriends and he bought them new dresses and ponies and sweetsopcorn:.

The priests:rtfm: were still mad:angry: that Vandire was living in their church house and sent bad men:threaten::threaten::threaten: to beat him up. But Vandire's new girlfriends:angel::angel: beat upunish: the bad men:threaten::threaten::threaten: instead, it was funny:biggrin:.

But then another man came along, his name was Sebastian Thor. He was good at telling stories and everybody wanted to be his friend:friends:. He said the Emperor:king: would die:suicide:, but not to worry as he would come back as an itty bitty baby:laugh:.

Vandire didn't like Thor and called him a poopy head, but Sebastian had too many friends, so Vandire ran off and had a cry:cray:

As Vandire was having a cry:cray:, Sebastian got all the grown ups together and made a big gang:drinks::gimmefive::gamer2::smoke: and called it the Confederation of Light:victory:. He said that Vandire was a doo-doo face who told lies and didn't clean up his room. This made the grown ups angry:angry::angry: and they went round to Vandire's house to punch him in the noseunish:

Vandire locked the door and said go away!:fuck: And the grown ups couldn't get in.:headbutt: But living in the basement of Vandire's house were some Adeptus Custodes:aggressive::aggressive: who thought he was a doo-doo face as well.

The Adeptus Custards:aggressive::aggressive: snuck into Vandire's room to beat him up, but Vandire's girlfriends:angel::angel: said no, don't beat up our boyfriend, he is great:victory:

So the King of the Custard People:aggressive: told Vandire's top girlfriend:angel: to come with him into a scary:scare: tunnel. At the bottom of the tunnel, they could see the Emperor:king: having a sleep.:lazy2:

Nobody knows what happend, but it must have been bad:shok::shok::shok:, because all of Vandire's girlfriends:angel::angel: went into his room and slapped him in the faceunish: until Vandire was murdered to death.:blush::blackeye::wacko::alcoholic:

And that is the Age of Apostasy.

The End:bye:


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Finding the Bathroom

Janitorius Null, slightly drunk :alcoholic:, stumbled his way through the Imperial Palace one dark, stormy night, in search of the bathroom after a long night of drinking with his friends:drinks:. Finding himself lost :cray: and quite sick uke:, Null gayly:so_happy: staggered down the long hallway, irregardless of the guards :security::security::security: keeping watch over the Emperor's sacred resting place.

Being rather innebriated :biggrin:, Null found himself face to face with the nearest custode :security: filled with the need to have a bit of mischevious fun:taunt: at the expsense of the elite guard :security:. First he tried a few friendly bits of banter:yahoo: followed by singing :clapping: and then a bit of dancing :wild:. When the custodes :security: made no move to join in, Null got rather angry :angry: and began mouthing off at them :nono:. That didn't seem to work either so he found himself resorting to other measures, openly taunting :ireful2:icknose: the mighty armored warriors. Seeing that they continued to ignore him, Null took a swing at one. A few seconds later, he found himself face down on the ground with an aching head:blackeye::blackeye: and a very amused custode:so_happy: standing over him. 

Having realized the error of his ways, Null :blush: got up, dusted himself off:victory:, and waved good bye to the warrior:bye:; apologizing furiously for his stupid actions:crazy::sarcastichand:.


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## Col. Schafer (Apr 15, 2008)

Verry funy redidtion of imperial history Unknown soldir
So thats how the SOBs got formed.


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## Unknown Soldier (Oct 24, 2008)

Nice one Nate, though I thought Null was going to take a wrong turn and go 'Oh look, a golden toilet, no will care if I go for a quick poo in here'.

Well Col. Schafer, I think the official canon is a little more complex, but yep, that's how the SOB's came about.

Now to get started on my new line of 40k children's books - Terry the Tyranid, Horus and Chums, Dora-natus the Explora-natus, that kind of thing.


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

Hahaha... I enjoyed the SOB stuff... And Nate's Null...:laugh:


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