# Confused by chapter names? You're not the only one!



## WoRLoKKeD (Apr 1, 2008)

Was just sent this on MSN. Decided it deserved to be put up here. 

"My Lord, I bring news."

*Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging.*

"Yes?"

"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."

"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."

"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"

"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"

"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."

"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"

"Positive, My Lord."

"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"

"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."

"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"

"The Alpha Legion, sire."

"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"

"Umm..."

"What!"

"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."

"It is?!"

"Yes."

"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."

"The Alpha Legion, sire."

"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."

"That is correct, sire."

"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"

"The Blood Drinkers."

"One of ours?"

"One of theirs."

"OK."

"The Iron Warriors."

"One of theirs?"

"No. One of ours."

"Go figure."

"The Dark Angels."

"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"

"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."

"Bugger. So who else then?"

"The Emperor's Children."

"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."

"Um, not exactly my Lord."

"Really?"

"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."

"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"

"A few, Lord."

"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."

"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."

"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"

"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."

"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."

"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."

"I thought they were renegade pirates."

"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."

"Oh. OK. Continue."

"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."

"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"

"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."

"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"

"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."

"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"

"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."

"Bloody hell. Is that it?"

"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."

"Such as..."

"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."

"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."

"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."

"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just positively oozes evil from every pore."

"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."

"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"

"They used to be missionaries sire"

"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."

"Yes my Lord"

"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."

"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."

"You're kidding."

"No, My Lord."

"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."

"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."

"Makes no bloody sense at all."

"Yes, My Lord."

"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."

"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord."


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## Shas'o Tash'var (Jan 8, 2008)

whahahahahah that's great ! :laugh:


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## jonnyjhh (Apr 30, 2008)

Haha Exellent!


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## Archangel (Dec 30, 2007)

LOL Hilarious


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## CyDoN (Dec 21, 2007)

WoRLoKKeD;104137"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."[/QUOTE said:


> hehe that was the best part!


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## Luciferi (Mar 2, 2008)

Haha, good stuff xD.


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## The Lions Sword (May 16, 2008)

Friggin hilarious!!


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## kungfoomasta (May 8, 2008)

twas funny as culd be for nameing a bunch of chapters and it is so true


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## Da Red Paintjob Grot (May 6, 2008)

yes im with renaming all the chapters. or we could decide that the impirium are the really bad bad guys and that all khorne needs is a hoodie and a hug. the chaos gods are misunderstood. also, as a side note you might find it interesting but i have a reccuring dream of a bloodletter in a suit coming out of a psychiatrists office, completely mentally sorrted, and becoming an it consultant.


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## Icarus (May 27, 2008)

I wonder how long Cameron would last if he tried to hug that hoodie...


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## Holyboltshells (May 22, 2008)

Probs about as long as a ratling trying to tickle a Khorne Berserker


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## Ender (May 11, 2008)

Love it. When i started out this game I had those questions, but not that big of a problem.


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## Ryan El'Jonson (Dec 15, 2006)

lol, I read this YEARS ago. Am I the only one that remembers it:blush:?


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## BlackApostleVilhelm (May 14, 2008)

love it! funny shit!


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## Lord Khorne (May 6, 2008)

That is hilarious!!!


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## arachula (Aug 28, 2009)

Yeah i thought this was pretty good. I laughed.


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## cain the betrayer (Oct 12, 2009)

greath this is so funny rep+ for finding this


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## Mossy Toes (Jun 8, 2009)

Seen it before, but it's still hilarious.


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## Boganius Maximal (Oct 31, 2009)

Hahaha. Brilliant!!!! Some of us less knowledgable 40k types have been fooled by Space Marine names as well


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## GiftofChaos1234 (Jan 27, 2009)

Ryan El'Jonson said:


> lol, I read this YEARS ago. Am I the only one that remembers it:blush:?


no, no, you are not i too read this many years ago


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## Dar'kir (Jul 11, 2009)

funny, very funny


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## Phrazer (Oct 14, 2008)

Really funny, cheers for that man, great stuff!!


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## unxpekted22 (Apr 7, 2009)

lol, that was a great way to spend some extra minutes


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## robinson (May 15, 2008)

I have seen this as well but it doesn't get any less funny bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!


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## Gothminion (Nov 20, 2009)

I think that we should rename all the chapters 'The Imperium 1', 'The Imperium 2' etc etc, and then chaos can be 'Khorne 1', 'Slaanesh 1' etc. So they're their official names but then everyone calls them by their 'nicknames' ...


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## Eliphas (Jun 23, 2009)




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## Death Shroud (Mar 1, 2008)

Eliphas said:


>


NOOoo, CDi Link!! Hit it with a brick!:threaten:


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## FORTHELION (Nov 21, 2009)

lol thought that was hilarious. googd stuff man


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## Kaithan (Aug 20, 2009)

LOL this is the best so far xD
Never laughed so much recently, but this made my day x)
Seriously, it is really confusing sometimes to designate witch side they are on with those names lol xD


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

Well that was refreshing... Hahaha... Rep!...


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## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

Classic. Good for a laugh


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## Adeptus (Aug 12, 2009)

exellent .


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## Child-of-the-Emperor (Feb 22, 2009)

Am I the only one then that doesn't really find it funny?! :grin:


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