# Temptation- Heresy, guide this story



## a_bad_curry (Mar 10, 2011)

Ok. Ill start it, the rest of you can continue it (im not very good, so bear with me. I just had a sudden idea that i didnt want anyone to steal)

This is a humerous out take of the series of events of the horus heresy

At the meeting horus called with the primarchs, outrage was all around

"Let me get this Straight, you want us loyal, devoted, intelligent and incorruptible primarchs to join these 'chaos gods' and defeat the emperor? For what Reward? What balone-" Magnus was cut off by an Encyclopedia to the head from horus. Magnus picks himself and the encyclopedia up and starts murmering "well.....uhh....*whispers* im with you */whispers*"

"RARRGHH!! ENEMIES OF MAN!!?? NEVER!!! YOU!! HERETI-" Guess who? Angron also cut off by a droney anger management class teacher and a pint of blood. Ignoring the teacher, Angron leaps to the floor, moaning and lapping blood

Continue with rest of traitors?? Ill keep helping along the way


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## Ambush Beast (Oct 31, 2010)

*Funny, kind-of*

Fulgrim bowed his head; I will not betray my father no matter what you offer. All the power of the dark gods cannot sway me.... What was that? Free paint by numbers set and all the hair products I could ever want! I HATE YOU DADDY!!!


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

"I could never betray our father, his perfection is so hard to.....ooooh look a steve mcqueen suit i must have it" Fulgrim hurried off after the tailor who stood eagerly waiting with his measuring tape and Horus smirked as Fulgrim agreed to all he wanted as long as he could have the suit.


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## Bane_of_Kings (Oct 28, 2009)

"I will never betray my father," announced Pertuabo. "I will stand firm, and I will not falter."

Horus whispers something in Pertuabo's ear.

"What's that you say?" Pertuabo raises an eyebrow. "Unlimted supply of Lego? Whenever I want?"

Horus nods, smiling.

"Count me in."


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

lol bane lol


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

Dorn believed he was resolute, he would not be cowed by simple acts of temptation, let Perturabo have his lego, let Fulgrim have his fashion suits there was no way he was going to let Horus sway him...

"Rogal" Horus stood aside from the table "All you ever wanted and more."

"i will never, never, never betray .... dungeons and dragons first edition..no stand firm i cannot ... is that the dragonlance sage? no no i will not...oh what the hell count me in..mine all this is mine"


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## Bane_of_Kings (Oct 28, 2009)

The Night Haunter would be resolute where his brothers had fallen. Rogal Dorn had been tempted by something called Dungeons and Dragons, and Pertuabo had fallen due to an unlimited supply of Lego. Fulgrim had fallen for a Steve Mcqueen suit, but there was nothing that could tempt the Night Haunter.

Angron had devoured blood, but there was nothing that could tempt the lord and commander of the Night Lords Legion. Or at least, that was what Konrad Curze had believed, until Horus Lupercal vistied him on Nostramno one fine evening.

"Horus, my brother. Come to tempt me with things I do not need?" Curze raised an eyebrow.

Horus, using the tactic that had swayed Pertuabo, whispered in the Night his brother's right ear, before both legions, who stood with bolter and blade trained on each other. 

"What's that you say?" the Night Haunter frowned, and watched in awe, as several hundred thousand, real-life Batmobiles were driven off the landing pad by the Sons of Horus, each one parking at the feet of a Night Lord. "No. You try to tempt me with your real life Batmobiles but nothing will ever sway me from my father, traitor."

"There's more," protested the Warmaster, and pointed behind the Night Haunter. "Look. Tell me what do you see."

"First Edition Batman Comics," the Primarch smiled. "Every singe one. And... what is that? Is that what I think it is?... A proper, Batman suit... for me?"

"Yes."

"You've won me over, Horus - you bastard," smiled the Night Haunter. "Batmobiles for every single warrior in my legion, including myself... How could I turn that offer down?" 

Horus smiled. Now, he would head to an old friend of his.


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

Sanguinius, that baston of nobility, the father of diplomacy and honour, this was not going to be easy.

Horus stood before his seated brother, the Blood Angels watching the Mournival with suspicion. The Angel had heard how his brother had swayed Magnus, Angron, Dorn, Perturabo, Fulgrim and Night Haunter, he would not be so easily swayed.

Horus sat himself across from his brother, the smile never leaving his face. Sanguinius as ever was set in stone,

"I did have to think long and hard about what to offer you brother"

"I am not that easily tempted brother, the demon i slew here on Baal should tell you that" There was no bravado in the voice of the angel, just fact.

Horus turned and nodded at Loken, who stepped aside to reveal a great stand. "All this will be yours Sang all you have to say is yes"

There stood a golden shelf filled with archaic memorabillia. Sanguinius got up and stood before it.

on one shelf were first edition signed Vampirella comics, next shelf down signed first edition Purgatory comics, thrid shelf contained DVDs of Hammer Horrors dracula movies all signed by Christopher Lee himself and in a stasis chamber sat the first editon of Bram Stokers Dracula, all with comments in the margin.

Abbaddon unveiled a stand with not only the dracula costume used in the hammer horror films but the actual Van Helsing costume complete with that nifty crossbow he used.

Sanguinius turned to his brother as Horus raised the piece de resitance...a vial of blood.
The angel felt his fangs ache a little "The blood of Dracula himself brother" Horus waved it a little "all you have to do is say yes"

Sanguinius tried to fight but the temptaion was too much, that blood, that pure strain of vampiric ectas..."yes" He snarled and snatched the vial swallowing it all in one gulp "damn you brother yes"

"theres a good vampire" Horus grinned


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## a_bad_curry (Mar 10, 2011)

(I hope this is all thr traitors)

Horus, deciding he had enough primarchs, now needed the support of guardsmen and marines. Even xeno would do....so Horus sent angron over to the ork camp..

"GREEN XENO!!"
"Oye wo 'umie?'
Grandad Thraka responded

"KILL THE LACKEYS OF THE GOD EMPEROR!!!"
Thraka looks confused, and makes the typically stupid ork face "wot?"

Angron holds his head in his hand. He breathes a long sigh 
"OK. DEYRS A BIG FOIGHT ON DAT TERRA PLAYS!!! WEZE NEED DA ORKZ TA KILL US 'UMIES DAT AINT SPIKEY!! WANNA COME?!!"

"Uhh..Weze are cumin!!" Replies Thraka. A Spike randomly comes out of Angrons neck. "RARRGHRAESJHJEFWNVPWJIERJ" Thraka and surrounding orks edge away slowly, then start running...


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## Ambush Beast (Oct 31, 2010)

*add on*

Fulgrim was sent out to gather the Eldar. Traveling through the warp, admiring his hair and playing with his paint by numbers set while wearing his newly taylored (with armoured inner vest)steve mcqueen suit, he pondered his mirror.

'The Eldar cannot be trusted.' he said to his reflection. His untainted reflection stood with both hands on hips and weaved its head back and forth before snapping a finger and saying 'Yes, but they dress so wonderfully.

Three weeks later He spoke with the brightly colored Eldar leader. 'Help us fight the false Emperor.' Fulgrim sayed.

'Why should we?' Gal-gal asked while playing with his glorious, jewel incrusted hat. 

'For the glory!' Fulgrim said. 

'MMM, no we already have enough glory.' Gal'gal replied.

'Than fight because of the beautiful fabrics Terra has! Just think of the robes and dress-up stuff you can make.' Fulgrim reasoned. 

'Oh, you are shrude. WE will fight. Gal'gal exclaimed. 

Parting while fluffing his hair, Fulgrim smiled to himself, 'Yes fight with us and when you least expect it I will have that jeweled hat to go with my suit.' he said to himself. In the shadows as he made his way to his shuddle-craft his laughter, high pitched and flauntingly distastful, could be heard.


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

lol adrian


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