# Writing Beginnings



## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

_Incest!_

Bet that scared you! And as much as I love you’re fear/puzzlement, the real reason was to get you to read this sentence. So a single seven character word it may have been, it did it’s job.

The beginning of you’re story is very important! It determines whether or not the rest of the story gets read at all!

The 40K Fiction area (Original Works) is mostly made up of Short stories, as well as a few beginning of budding novels. The two can have different starting styles but in my opinion NOTHING beats a snappy start. With a short story you have to grab you’re reader’s attention instantly. With a longer story you can give yourself about a paragraph of room.

Here are a few ideas of how to start a story:

•	A Command –Usually with a character or the narrator addressing the reader

•	A Question –Same as above

•	A Quotation –The way I started Roots of Betrayal (Check the sig if you want 
an example)

•	An Action 

•	A Sound Effect -DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA! (That’s how they really 
sound… Not a quotation at all 

•	A thought (Very similar to quotation)


There are a few ‘Major’ ways to start a story (these are not set in stone, but the categories that nearly all beginnings fall into)

Creative/Evocative/Suggestive (ooh err) Description: This can be quite difficult as nothing is really happening… But if you do it right, the reader won’t be able to resist continuing. “_The air was warm and breezy. The night was clear and the sky was filled with stars. It was a lover’s sky. The sky young people, madly devoted to one another, would lie out in the grass to behold. Night diamonds twinkling in their own passionate eyes_” (_Imm0rtal Reaper/Anthony Cerrato_) “_Darkness. Dust. The musty odor of old furniture and draperies. The stifling inability to draw a free breath. The cold, paralyzing terror. And the furtive steps drawing nearer and nearer!”_ _The Mystery of the Empty Room (Augusta Huiell Seaman.)_ 
If you want to start with a static description, then you have to include some pretty dazzling imagery!

A second avenue to go down is to start by introducing a character 
_“The hooded man slowly walked from the tree line towards the now dead camp fire. The figure moved with an eerily smooth gait, floating across the soil. He was too late to catch them sleeping, but it mattered not, the hunt added to the sweet release of the kill. The man took down his hood to reveal a simple but imposing mask of steel. Flat upon the cheeks and meeting to a slight ridge in the centre, it was as much an aesthetic choice as a protective one. 
He moved towards the camp fire and took a handful of ash. He drew it close to where his nose lay beneath the mask and took a great draught of air.
“East” he whispered, his voice deep but soothing.
A northerly breeze swept his cloak and his long dark hair to the side. Replacing his hood he mounted his steed again and set out east.”_ –The reader wants to know more about the character so surges forward.

The Third and most versatile beginning is to start with some action! This can be a single sentence to a moderate paragraph: ‘“_“FORWARD!!” Telusiarnus screamed down the vox-comms, kicking the broken body of a fallen foe from his path, the crackling power sword ending its deadly arc. Whipping his left arm up his bolter sang as the devastating rounds roared from the barrel, shells exploding around the Fallen as they attempted to fall back through the archway at the end of the hall. One of the Warriors crumpled as the shell reduced his helmet to ceramite shards_.’ – This sort of start provokes questions; Who’s fighting? What’s going on? Why are they fighting? (Well maybe not so much that last in the Grim Darkness of the far future :biggrin: ) 

The Fourth- and the most difficult- angle is to begin with some sort of Journal Entry or News extract, or anything that isn’t the main narrative of you’re story. However it can produce some good results! The horrors _Carrie _by Stephen King and The _Night Stalker_ by Jeff Rice begin just this way. Be careful though! Don’t be fooled that having such and telling the reader the story is significant will excuse you from a slow or indirect start… It might not. 
Be sure to follow this up with one of the other ‘Narrative Beginnings’

Be careful if you start anywhere other than the natural beginning of you’re story, taking exciting scenes from near the end of a book then telling the rest of the story through flashbacks or memories: The Max Payne games!

Whichever way you go, give it a lot of thought! Like I said before; it’s the most important part!

I hoped this has been helpful! Please remember people, these aren’t rules you MUST adhere to, just some handy (I hope) guidelines! I write stories because I love to tell people a tale, as well as for my own entertainment. Write you’re stories however you want because no-one can stem you’re creativity!

This thread is part of the Great Crusade Shogun Nate and I have imparted on for the good of the 40K Fiction section. Though I have to say, I have already seen a great increase in the traffic of this area, and the quality of the short stories and Novels is very impressive! Keep up the good work! 

If you have any questions don’t hesitate to drop me a line!
Happy Scribbling/Typing!

(Story idea's thread coming soon!)

Hero


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## imm0rtal reaper (Jul 15, 2008)

This should get stickied It seems like the sort of thread that will help people


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## Red Orc (Jun 14, 2007)

_"The door dilated."_

In my opinion, the best opening to a sci-fi story ever. If that doesn't chuck you into a futuristic world (with dilating doors) I don't know what it does. It's an example of Concrete Hero's "Evocative Description" - it instantly evokes a particular image, with an action as simple as the opening of a door.

_"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."_

Again, it catapults you into a place like, and not-like, familiar, yet disturbingly different (the opening of "1984" BTW, for those who haven't read it). A great hook I always thought, a simple, jarring sentence that pulls you in by its ambiguity.

_"It was a dark, blustery afternoon in spring, and the city of London was chasing a small mining town across the dried-out bed of the old North Sea."_

Another of my absolute favourites. Again a jarring and ambiguous image, I do like them as a way into novels, you may have noticed. This time from "Mortal Engines" by Philip Reeve, I can really recommend it, either to read yourself or to read to your kids. Breathtakingly inventive.

That's my top three first sentences of sci-fi/futurological books ("1984" doesn't really count as sci-fi, but it's a dystopian future nevertheless - or it was when it was written and when I read it first, anyway).

Thank you for letting me share.

:literary cyclops:


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

Share all you're knowledge!

Some very good points, I do like the second one. Familiarity but creating curiosity!
Brilliant examples!

Hero


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## morfangdakka (Dec 31, 2006)

1984 one of my favorite books as well and at the time it was written was ground breaking but even today is still a great read. I also like the fimilar yet slightly off or twist at the end lines that kind of suck your brain into another world and won't let go. 
I will say you do have to be careful if you use the third method of entry. Using to many discriptive owrds can get in the way of the story telling and lets the reader leave the created world. So while discriptive words are good for telling the story don't let them get in the way of the story telling.


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## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

*journal entry beginnings.*

1094.M41. Day 56. 2325 hours

_The barrages have been less frequent, as if the enemy is running out of steam. Like a fatigued runner after a full day of constant pace, begins to slow his strides, each footfall landing with more time in between. I laugh at myself for personifying the sounds of war, but there is little else to think of. However it sounds, the men wont stand much more of this. some even shake and vomit after each explosion. I cannot surmise as to where it all comes from but there is never a dry heave. 

On another note, the line has held well today. Assaults came in sectors 25-30 simultaneously. Todays report claims roughly 2300 KIA but enemy denied. Much lower a death toll than previous assaults. Barrages preceded the assault at 0530 with the enemy reaching the firestep 30 minutes later. Hand to hand was intense however not for very long. grenades and other explosives were used to soften up our line to medium effect. It took roughly two hours for our troops to secure the trench again, and cleanup and resupply are under way now. 

There will be a reply assault in the morning. Command has ordered the entire 5th Vorsek Reserve into the maneuver. Hopefully we will see some gains this time around. Discipline has been a main concern throughout the line. The desertion rate is high, and more men seem to go mad every hour they sit. I have personally executed 65 men found wanting in the last three days. I try to convey to the men a casual attitude as much as i can. I want them relaxed but i want them focused. sometimes i even remove my storm coat and cap, fork them on the end of my sword and high step around the trench to generate some humor. it didn't work today.

I do what i can for the men. I tell them heroic tales and assure them that there are glorious days ahead. I tend to wonder though. I wonder if any of us will ever see a day of quiet. A day where we can sleep through the night without explosions shaking us from our beds. I dont think we ever will.

Ah, it seems the enemy guns have finally taken a breather. I'm sure Command will issue the go-ahead soon. Emperor willing i will write again tomorrow. If not, may he guide my soul. 

Charging forth in the Emperors light,

Commissar David Ploss_

Hi everyone, i just wanted to contribute a little to this wondeful thread about beginnings. i have always been fond of the journal entry beginning myself, because it allows me to convey the thoughts of my characters more personally. i've always liked to create and display a character in this way. Normally i'll sit down and think, what does this character cherish in life, how does he/she think of others. and then i'll put it down as if i was actually writing a journal entry myself. if you choose to start a tale this way, make sure that you keep each paragraph short and to the point. Try and keep it realistic while still providing the detail that is required for a reader to be able to picture the setting and story in their head. It can be insightful or slightly vague. either way, it needs to be able to summarize whatever the current situation is. I'll do a little explaining later about what it all includes. probably in a separate thread just devoted to the journal entry beginnings. but for right now, i just provided an example for what my beginning generally look like.

cheers, :drinks:

Commissar Ploss


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## Vaz (Mar 19, 2008)

_I remember the choosing well. It was violence, right the way through.

We knew these men among men – huge men, armoured men, noble men – were there to take use to become one among them. They were men, for that was what the Bard had said. The bard was not one of us, yet he was not one of them.

We are a proud tribe’s people – this planet, our world, we are told, by the Bard, that this is but one among many. I did not know this, but the Bard had spoken. It must be true. He had been with them. He told us, that despite our factions, our tribes, our alliances and allegiances, we are but one people, one people among many. There was many a time when I wondered at what the Bard had said, what he meant, but it was not my place to wonder. It was my place to do.

I remember many a time, when I was but a wee bairn, cradled in my mother’s arms, glancing up from that soft embrace, to see the shimmering, flickering of starlight, gliding across the heavens. We knew that somewhere among that blank field, they were judging us. From the moment we were born, to our dying day._

Sorry if its presumptiousof me to post that,but the ambiguous start of the story draws the readers in hopefully. You want to find out who 'they' are, and what, a seemingly innocuous beginning has to do with the big bad galaxyout there, and who the speaker is, hopefully, the Bard reference as well.


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

Not presumptuous at all! You're only adding not taking away! And that's what I was trying to say, keeping the readers on edge and sucking them in is what you want.



Vaz said:


> I remember the choosing well. It was violence, right the way through.


Brilliant example! Had my eyes zooming down to the next page, eager to know what was going on!

Commissar Ploss: I'm not to fond of using the Journal entry myself, haven't given it enough practise yet, but I did enjoy reading yours! You make some good points too.

If you _do_ start that thread, I'll be overjoyed! I'll know that this thread provoked the birth of another one! Share you're journal secrets!

Hero


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## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

*Journal entry beginnings!*

Right-O! Hero!

i'm glad that i was able to bring some points to the table. And believe me, that thread WILL happen. I've seen enough people grumble about writing journal entries. some say they're just too hard, while others dont think they bring enough detail to the mix. well do i have some surprises for you!

Even if its not at the beginning of the story, journal entries provide an insightful and ecclectic mix of things that normal narrative writing doesn't. there are many things MANY things you can do with them. I'll start right away on it. 

dont expect to see it right away, i think i'll do some of the main points on Word and then do some magical cutting and pasting. It will be chalk full of examples as well. 

I ca't wait to get started!

Cheers, :drinks:

Commissar Ploss

--fiction king for a reason--lol

p.s. i wrote that journal entry on the fly specifically for this thread.


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Excellent work bud! When you said you were working on something I thought it would be good and you didn't disappoint. This is a very good point to bring up as when crafting a story you really do want your opening to capture the reader's attention because if you don't, there's very little chance they'll bother to continue reading. 

Evocative(or provocative in the case if "Incest!" heh heh heh) and emotive starters are a very good way to draw in the reader. You lay down the foundation and then from there you begin to build the story. It's after this opening that you start to work in your descriptive narrative. You'll also find that a good beginning can be made up from the various different ways noted above. 

_*Incest*!_ 

_That word alone sent shivers up and down Shar's spine as he sat face to face with the detective in the interrogation room. Sure, he'd been in trouble before, but this..this was serious. His rap sheet was a mile long but it was always the little things. A petty theft here, a B and E there. He was damned well sure he didn't want any part of this though. He couldn't remember how long he'd been in this cold, brightly-lit hell hole of a room but being surrounded by beligerent coppers and the smell of stale cologne was starting to wear on his last nerve. He did know, however, it was long enough for his ass to go numb. Shifting uncomfortably, Shar tried to work some of the feeling back into his butt made all the more difficult by the chair they'd put him in. "The thing must have been made by a sadist" he thought to himself. No way a normal human being could bring himself to create something so insideous. "Could you turn down that light?" he asked, bringing his right hand up to shield his face once again. It was almost like a nervous tick as he repeated the process over and over, trying to escape the blaring glare... _

Here I combined the eye-catching opener with a bit of personal background and a dash of descriptive style. 

All in all, each point is a good way to begin your story. It's the best place to hook the reader, then reel him in as the story continues. 

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate

P.S.-You might want to get a mod to sticky this one bud. It is really good!


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## Concrete Hero (Jun 9, 2008)

Shogun_Nate said:


> Excellent work bud! When you said you were working on something I thought it would be good and you didn't disappoint. This is a very good point to bring up as when crafting a story you really do want your opening to capture the reader's attention because if you don't, there's very little chance they'll bother to continue reading.
> 
> Evocative(or provocative in the case if "Incest!" heh heh heh) and emotive starters are a very good way to draw in the reader. You lay down the foundation and then from there you begin to build the story. It's after this opening that you start to work in your descriptive narrative. You'll also find that a good beginning can be made up from the various different ways noted above.
> 
> ...


Cheers! Glad you enjoyed it! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I just hope people can make use of this thread!

Loved you're starter! Exactly what I'm talking about, a good mix of the required constructive recipe! 
I'd love to get it sticky'd, its the sort of thread that people may only read once. But saying that all these awesome additions are reason enough to keep coming back. Not to sure which mod to ask though, any ideas on that? 

Cheers,
Hero


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Eh...just pick one and give 'em the puppy dog eyes.... You can generally get any of the "any forums" mods like The Wraithlord to do it. I asked The Wraithlord when I needed something moved and he was quite willing to help my poor silly self(after two tries though..it seems that if you want a thread moved one should actually mention which thread...DOH! on my part to say the least LOL).

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate


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## forkmaster (Jan 2, 2010)

It kinda sucks I didnt find this site before I started working on my current long story novell. It passed 250 pages, its divided into three minor story arcs about a young Cadian Shock Trooper and his path from Cadia to unfolding a mystery and a prophecy thats been waiting dormit since the days of the heresy.


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## Marcus Vine (Jun 17, 2009)

I began my ''novel'' which is still work in progress with some sort of anecdote, it's something like a quotation:

Some outcomes require ingenious plotting and thinking. Others just require simple events. But there are such that lay between those two. Ingenious thinking is required but on the other hand you just need the simplest and yet one of the most important things: time. These outcomes are far from being predictable. And certainly not the ones you usually want...


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