# A Tale of the Valour of Valourgastor (IG)



## Ancient Tiel' a fier (May 5, 2008)

"Tea sir" offered Nathaniel "Oh yes of course thankyou mr Barrington, now about these rebels" said Brigadier General Cornelius Hewwit " you say they are sending the captives forward to test our guns while the cowardly cussues hide at the back ay". After some fumbling with charts the chief gunner Albert Ellis remarked "yes" " i see, so they want to test our guns, what would you say the range to the opposite side of the valley was" quizzed the general, more fumbling "ahem optimum sir". 
Outside Men were forming gun lines bring out ammunition and Father Bower wa ministering to his flock " run not from the heathen else you become heathen in his stead, NO stand against thy enemy and so him your wrath for we are the servants of the EMPEROR and his divine light guides us". The faithful took heed and checked there las rifles.
Valourgastor the homeworld of the of the kings 1st rifles was a backward world that despite its high involvement with the imperium remains in a somewhat archaic state, pirates plow the seas in galleons of timber, farmers use oxen and horse instead of machines but above all things i there simple lives they love the emperor and they love there king and so regiments are formed and war they make.


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## Ancient Tiel' a fier (May 5, 2008)

if any one want to know what happens next leave post.


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## Triumph Of Man (Dec 27, 2007)

I would try to integrate more "show" and less "tell" into your writing. At the moment your writing is coming across to me as very heavy handed.

As a second comment, I really don't like the Colonial era British thing you've got going. It really grinds against the current image of 40k.

Because lets face it:

_In the grim darkness of the future there is only tea sipping, psuedo British fops..._

Really just doesn't have that same ring to it.


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## Ancient Tiel' a fier (May 5, 2008)

thats lovely its one style for one occasion and the personal preferances of readers dont concern me. you dont by a book you dont like and then complain to the auther. I am not looking for Tips


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## Green Knight (Feb 25, 2008)

I would like to hear some more


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## Green Knight (Feb 25, 2008)

Come on I what to hear some more, the thing with Triumph Of Man reminds me of hardy and his poetry and that people did not eprove on his writing because it was diffrent.


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## Green Knight (Feb 25, 2008)

come on ware is it


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