# Labyrinth of Tzeentch (Semi-RP)



## Tau22

Welcome, mortal, to the maze of the Changer.
Let this insane one tell you the rules of this (not really) RP.

There shall be a character in this tale, one who will have to make his way to the end of this labyrinth. But he will require aid. YOUR aid.
Speak to him through the awesome magic of comments and help him reach his goal... and earn a reward.

The maze is filled with things bizarre, chaotic and terrible. But that does not mean these things are necessarily of bad nature. Exploit them, make them serve you. Or die trying.

It may commence!

******

His eyes opened. The world around was strangely unclear, somehow. He tried to touch his head, but instead felt a helmet. Looking downwards, he saw, that he was fully clad in golden-and-azure armour. It looked heavy, but he felt almost no burden.

His gaze drifted around. Cold blue walls, littered with many blue flames, which seemed to just float in the air. Strangely, the bricks in the wall seemed to change position.
"What the hell is this place?" he thought.
His mind... was empty. No information about who he was, what he was doing here or anything else. He just knew how to fight... somehow.

Another gaze on the floor revealed a small sheet of parchment. What could that be?

**********

Inventory:
Nothing

**********

What say you?


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## Zondarian

OOC//- You forgot that to get to the end of the maze brings you face to face with Tzeentch, this dude ain't surviving this experience. At best he would be gifted by Tzeentch and become a follower.

I would say pick up the piece of paper, if Tzeentch is testing you he has to set you off on your quest.


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## Tau22

(Actually... he just might survive. This ain't Tzeentch as you know him/it. Kekekekek. Plus, he's wearing gold and azure armour. Guess where he's from?)

A voice suddenly sounded in his mind. Was he getting insane? Well, someone would at least keep him company. He heeded the voice and picked up the parchment.
It was completely blank, with no sign of anything but... age. The sheet looked centuries old... yet still held together. Quite extraordinary.
One of the walls then... growled at him. He took a step away from it and then looked at the parchment.
A few corridor-like lines had appeared on it.
"A sorta' map? Better than nothing, I guess."
He looked in two directions, which on the map were to the west and to the east. Some kind of fog prevented him from seeing too far...
"Which way now?"

*******

Inventory:
Strange map

*******

What say you?


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## Vaz

North. The will of the changer moves at will. His mind cannot be mapped. That which is written by the sane to map the mind of the insane is forever baffled by truths placed by the lies of Tzeentch.


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## Tau22

And another voice. How many of these were there?
In any case, even though it seemed insane, he walked north. He moved ever closer, expecting the walls to move or somesuch.
Instead, he crashed right into them and then fell to the ground.
Writing appeared on the wall:
"What did ya expect, stupid?"
He cursed his inner naivete and then again looked at the two possible direction.

*******

Inventory:
Strange map

*******

What say you?


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## solitaire

Surely the right way to go is... Right. . .


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## Tau22

A third voice... just great.
"I'll just stop counting them... I've got a feeling I'd go nuts, otherwise."
Right... therefore, east.
He made a few steps and watched the map. The corridors slowly revealed themselves., until... it revealed a dead end.
He looked at the wall in front of him.
"Oh, really funny. REALLY funny."

He turned around and headed west this time. The path seemed to go in circles for a while. A _loooong_ while. The fact the corridors were so monotone wasn't helping.
Five more minutes and he was still walking in a circle.
"The Warp is going on here?"

*******

Inventory:
Strange map

*******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Well in the daemons codex it says you need an insane logic to pass through the maze, so I am going to go, step into the map and follow the tunnels on there?


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## Tau22

(I must say, this is fun!)

Enter... the map?
What did the voices mean?
He again looked at the piece of parchment. The path it showed was not a circle at all, but a straight path.
He thought about the words given to him... how do you enter something? You need a key... what's the key here?
He suddenly felt a soft tingling somewhere inside his head.
What was the term?
...
Psyker.

He tried to concentrate on the damned paper. His mind somehow subconsciously reacted, it still remembered how to use his gifts.
A flash of bright light suddenly consumed the area. When it faded, the pathway was revealed.
"Well, don't know if I'm in the map or not... but who cares? Thanks, voices!"

He walked forward... and reached a crossroad. According to the map, he could continue west, go north or go south.
"Enlighten me, please."

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Go back the way you came, the maze is ever changing, it may take you somewhere new?


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## Tau22

The voices could be saying the truth. He turned around and walked.
And walked.
Aaaaaaand walked.
Still...
He looked back. The crossroad wasn't getting further.
"I hate this place."
Now... he could either continue into the infinite west, or pick one of the three.

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

This isn't very Tzeentchy, it is confusing, but you should always be able to work out the right direction with a bit of sanely insane logic. But we'll try west.


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## Tau22

(I'll try to make it seem more Tzeentchey. Though, changer's just havin' fun, I'd say.)

He listened to the voices and stopped heading into infinity.
West it was.
The Warpal flames passed by him and he entered a round chamber.
In its middle there floated a blade, which glowed with a blue hue.
From nowhere, a voice sounded, changing its pitch frequently:
"Welcome, non-automatons To reach the blade, you must offer blood of the four."
Then there was silence.
He looked around the room, noting altars with different marks on them.

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Find me a Khorne, Nurgle, Slaneesh and Tzeentch daemon.


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## Zondarian

Go to the altar marked with the Mark of Tzeentch put some of your blood in it.


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## Tau22

(Sorry for the absence! Have a lot of tests this week... have to study.)

He heard the voices say something about finding daemons... ad then they told him to give his blood.
Tzeentch altar...
The blue marking, spoke his subconscious.
"Oh... I knew that."

Hes stepped closer to the altar and realised something.
He was in armour. How was he gonna get blood?

Words of smoke appeared in the air.
"Helmet, stupid."
"I knew that, too."
He took off the helmet... now what?

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Erm, papercut which the strange map? Wait that would take ages, go crazy guy and smash your head into the alter.


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## Tau22

Mash head... into altar?
Oh, well. It's not like he had any better idea.
He readied himself... and then bashed the altar.

Massive headache was massive.
A few drops of blood fell out of his nose and the wounds on his forehead and fell onto the altar. It flashed and the voice came again:
"Ain't you clever. It is as if some extra-supernatural force was guiding you... whatever, go!"

He put on his helmet and walked back to the crossroad, since the room seemed barren, otherwise.
Well... it HAD been a crossroad. There were now two paths, one heading northeast, the other southeast.
From the northern one, he could hear terrible roars and from the southern one, an incredible stench came.


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## Flerden

Go south, the stench can't be that bad.


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## Tau22

"I just know I'm going to regret this."
He ventured south. The stench was simply horrible. The gasses in the corridor actually had a greenish hue. Not good. It was hot, too.
The further he went, the worse the stench seemed. In the end, he laid on the ground and crawled.
The stencg was a bit lesser, but still there.
After another long while, he finally reached the corridor's end... a sort of barrier was in front of him.
"Do I really wanna go inside?"

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Yes you do.


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## Tau22

"Oh... damn."
He crawled towards the barrier and his subconscious told him to touch it. And he did. The barrier disappeared and the wave of stench that engulfed him was unbelievable.
He actually couldn't see his surroundings, so he went forward, trusting faith. The ground under his feet was... slimy.

Suddenly, he spotted a vague shape in the fog of stench.
"Uhuh... I have a bad feeling about this."

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Flerden

Go forward.


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## Tau22

He reluctantly listened to the voice... and then regretted it.

In front of him, there sat a massive, bloated figure, with more types of skin disease than types of bugs. It had a primarily green hue. The stench was at the edge of being survivable in.
It watched him with a single, red eye.
Definitely not good...

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

Blast the fuck out of it, it's psychic time.


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## Tau22

Blast the eff' outta' something bigger and more menacing? Why the Warp not?

He concentrated the energies of the Warp in his palms and then released them as several mighty doombolts.
He scored a direct hit, which, considering the creature's size, was so totally unexpected and some... gasses filled the area.
When those cleared... it was still there, unscathed.
He was already thinking about running, when the creature said:
"And I was already thinking you were a big bug or something."

He totally didn't expect that... he could run... but he did need its blood...

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

You might want to get out of here.. and run the other way, with luck, the demons over there will rather kill this one, than you.


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## Tau22

That was an excellent idea. He turned... and smashed into a wall, which seemingly moved itself right behind him.
"Son of a...!!! This ain't funny!"
Writing again:
"Oh, yes it is."
"No."
"Yes."
What was he doing? Arguing with a wall? Damnit...
Suddenly, a massive boom echoed throughout the room, followed by an excessive wave of stench. He wanted to hurl. Forgetting every shred of fear, he screamed:
"DUDE!!!!"
The massive daemon sounded ashamed.
"I'm sooooorry... it's just, they locked me in here... and all I can do all day is... well... release."
"But come on! That stench is horrible!!"
"Hey, I'm a Nurgle-servant, whaddaya expect?!"
"Good point..."
"Say, why are ya here, anyway?"

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

I don't like this turn of events, it feels as though you are trying to be funny at the expense of it being a bit realistic 40k wise.

Ask for some blood.


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## Tau22

(I never really wanted this to be a serious RP... some may recognize the sorcerer's name once I reveal it... soon enough)

Okay... here goes.
"Uhhhh... I need some of your blood."
"Huh? Another o..." at that moment, the daemon coughed viciously, sending a large blob of slime out of its mouth. It missed him, but not by much.
"That was dangerously close."
"Sorry... anyway, why do all of you want my blood? Do you use it as biological weaponry or something?"
"Uhhh, no. The _mysterious voice_," he said in a spooky tone, "at the altar just said I should bring it blood of the four gods... already broke my nose to deliver my part..."
"Poor thing... so that's why everyone wants it? Weird... anyway, here, take this vial."
A small vial filled with... sickly grey liquid floated to him.
"You actually have these prepared?"
"I started doing that after... number ten thousand? I don't no, but that was a really long time ago."
"Uhhh... okay. I'll be going now..."
"Kay. Thanks fer da info."
He left, slightly disturbed and turned towards the altar.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Vial with questionable liquid

******


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## Zondarian

Go back to the alter. If you cannot get back to the room I guess it's time to grab the balls and charge down the Khorne fools.


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## Tau22

He heeded the voices and returned to the... former-former crossroad, which now led ONLY to the altar. This place was weird.
He came closer to the altar with a green mark and poured the blood into it. The voice came again:
"Ewwwww... anyway, I have decided to give you a small gift... a part of your memory back. So that, whe... if you die, you will no longer be nameless."

With a flash, a single piece of information was back. A name.
Rakul Manek.
"Okay, cool... I'm gonna get more blood."
"Excellent."

He walked over to the way which led to the roars. Red lights filled the area.

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Zondarian

The guy from your servants of the four?

Ohh and keep walking.


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## Tau22

(Oh, indeed! And one of the main chars in my slightly-insane fanfic,
*Savin' stuff, da orky way!* and its sequel. If you like normal, Warhammer-real fanfics... avoid that one.)

He listened to the voice. General red light was soon replaced by blood on the walls and associated stuff.
Suddenly, a corpse of a Chaos marine came into view. This one had different coulours than him, almost fully black, with silver lining. A golden eye was on his shoulderpad.

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

You might want to duck and take cover.. and see if these guys will kill eachother, they always love to fight.. doesn't matter who.. and you can get their blood from the spillage.


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## Tau22

Cover? He owuld first need to get outta' the barren corridor.
Rakul gave the corpse one last look and then continued.

Soon, his footsteps led him to a new area and he immediately ducked behind a crate he saw.
The massive room was something like a cross between an arena and a living room.
Many Bloodletters walked here and there, fighting with each other, arm wrestling, cooking meat from unknown animals, jousting on Juggernaughts and other violent stuff.
(And they looked like the old models, which looked better than the new ones, imo)
"Hmmm..."

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

Well, your blood is for the taking.. but if you get caught.. You'll be on the menu.

I never really liked daemons in the first place.. so whatever they look like, they're a bunch of ugly creeps.


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## Tau22

(I like daemons... dunno why, though. My fav god is good old Tzeentchey, but my fav daemons belong to Khorne. Or Slaanesh, lol)

"Okay... I just have to pick a secluded one... that's gonna be hard."
He looked at the surroundings. Three targets seemed perfect.

A Bloodletter treating his wounds after a fight... but Rakul would have to make his way to the daemon through ground with almost no cover.
The second was apparently asleep, near the 'cook', who had a white hat on his head, between the horns.
This place was weird.

Before he could look more, another Bloodletter came closer. He hid behind the crate almost instantly. The beast sniffed the air.

******

Inventory:
Strange map

******

What say you?


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## BlackApostleVilhelm

OOC: this is awesome lol


hello warrior, do not be afraid for i have been sent to aide you on your quest through this maze. you do not need to know who i am only that i have ascended long ago and that we met in ages long gone and spilt the blood of others together. but back to the task at hand, the bloodletter in front of you, be very still and it will tire of the search and go away. the servants of khorne have no patience, once it is gone quitely make your way back to the dead chaos marine you found and search for any type of weapon. i doubt that ranged weapons will be there so check for a combat or gutting blade. once this task has been completed i will speak with you again.


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## Col. Schafer

_Hey dummey! Go back and get blood from that black leigion peon, his probably counts for all four. I dont see why any of the gods bother with that rabble, but you might as well take advantage from it._

This is a great RP(ish), if tezench was a comedian, this would be his act.


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## Tau22

(Glad ya like it! And... Tzeentchey IS a joker!)

One of the voices started introducing itself.
Still introducing... still...
"This is taking longer than when those DBZ guys charge their attacks."

The Bloodletter stood above him, but then, the cook called:
"Radron!"
He stopped sniffing:
"What is it?"
"I'm running outta' meat! Go get me some from those things in the pit!"
"Why do I always have to do that?! I'm tired of killing the stupid scorpions, or whatever they are."
"My patience is running out."
"Oh, fine! Damnit."
The Bloodletter then left and the sorcerer quietly made his way back to the corpse.

It looked just like when he left it there. He approached and first just looked.
A massive wound in the marine's chest, probably from an axe or sword... was somehow void of blood. No weaponry in sight.
He slowly got closer and took off the corpse's helmet..., revealing nothing inside. Just air. This armour was empty.
"What the Warp is going on here? How did the corpse..."
Writing:
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did ya?"
He looked at the wall, extended his middle finger and then spotted something under the corpse. Two weapons.

The first was a standard marine knife, a bit corroded, but still sharp. His thoughts were on one subject:
"Yeah, I'll face a huge muscular daemon, who wields an equally massive axe, with a small... butter knife. What? I can call it whatever I want!"

The second weapon, however, was something better. A Boltpistol. With a fully loaded magazine, which meant he had thirty rounds.
Not the best weapon... but certainly better than the knife.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
'Butter knife'
Boltpistol with 30 rounds

******

What say you?


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## Lord Lucius

fiRSt oF ,Sel YOur soUl to slaanesh...this will not help you in your quest and will enrage the Khorn daemons, but he/she/it is a far better host than tezench! 
secondly DO NOT FIGHT THE BLOOD LETRERS!!! they WILL win, instead ,use the "butter knife" to take spilt blood from the floor,Tzeench AND Slaanesh prefere subtelty to violence ,if you gain their favour...


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## Tau22

He listened to the voice and sent his response:
"Hey, screw Slaanesh. If anything, I'll serve the Changer."

And he then returned to the arena-living room.
Ducking behind the same crate yet again he looked at the ground.
The only spilt Khornate blood would be right in the arena... where every Bloodletter was looking. Juuust great...

******

Inventory:
Strange map
'Butter knife'
Boltpistol with 30 rounds

******

What say you?


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## Col. Schafer

_Cheeting blue bugger, that should have worked... why the hell am I helping one of his scorcerers...

Because your board you renob.

Oh right... Well, best I can figure, go in guns blazeing, and hope to get lucky and kill all of them. Worst comes to worst you can sell your soul to nurgle and get some extra organs to replace the ones they'll inevitably tear out...

Wait a moment, cant you lot make rubrics out of empty armor?_


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## BlackApostleVilhelm

Do not listen to the fool who told you to go in guns blazing (sounds of scuffle as black apostle punches his daemonic fist into colonel schaeffer) he wants you dead, i on the other hand want you to live. the bloodletters in the arena are pre-occupied so you must quickly make your way around the edges of the room you are in and find a door, once found you must look for steps that descend downwards into the arena bloodworks. there should be minimal resistance in here, try to take them out with headshots. once all who are in there are dead take what weapons you can find, axes swords and whatnot.


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## Col. Schafer

_Ow! That hurt! Do you know how many sacrifices I had to make for that extra kidney?!_

_You could definately win, you have power armor, and scorcery, think about it you could fry them from afar, whats the point of worshiping you patron if you cant magic up some doom spells?_


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## Tau22

"For the Rubric to be recast... nope, I can only call back the soul of a Rubric marine back to its armour."

To do it the long way, by going into the Bloodworks... which he wasn't sure he wanted to visit...
Or to face his enemies, who had daemonic weaponry, were far more muscular and had superior numbers.

Damn... hard choice. He didn't like hard choices...
He felt old.
Thousands of years old.

No time to get senile now. He had had enough of sneaking around... time for some action.
"Sorry, voice with long introduction."

He rose from behind the crate, warpal energies already gathering in his palm.
The chef dropped his fork.
"Doombolt!"
The Warpal energies flew towards their targets, tearing Bloodletters to bits. Four down, crapload to go.

The rest roared and charged straight at him, swords and axes ready.
Instinctively, he aimed with the Boltpistol and shot. Three rounds, three headshots.
About seven daemons were still ready to tear him apart, however.

One approached and flung the Boltpistol out of his arms. The daemon's sword then came dangerously close to his head.
In the last second, he blocked it with the 'butter knife'. The daemon's weapon nearly cut straight through the puny dagger, Rakul held it at bay with pure strength.

Suddenly, his palm was rightr at the Bloodletter's face, a dark aura around it. The daemon watched in shock as a doombolt went straight into its skull, effectively tearing his head to bits, along with part of its upper torso.

An axe then came and he tried to dodge... but was too slow. The daemonic weapon struck his helmet with such force, that it flew off his head.

He now stared at the six daemons around him with his sky blue eyes. His long dark hair obscured his vision a bit, though. And somehow... he just knew his skin was pale. Not from fear. It had always been like that.

"This could have gone better."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Useless piece of metal aka former 'butter knife'

******

What say you?


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## Col. Schafer

_Go! Go! Go! You doing great! Keep up the doom bolts!_


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## Inquisitor Einar

Maybe you should consider this might be a good time for a little confusion for them.
Remember that bloated corpse on that overstuffed toilet called the golden throne?

Yes, I'm talking about the god-bloody-emprah. Give them a battlecry worthy of his name, then run like hell. When they give chase, turn around and blast them with your demonic sorcery, they will be bunched up more in the hallways so you can line up a single blast to kill more of them.


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## blazinvire

Needs to be more Tzeentch-like, point passed them and scream out the Emperor's behind them, if that doesn't buy you time, knock the walls down with every psychic power you got. Then again that last option may kill you too... Eh sounds fun in my opinion.


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## Tau22

So... he needed a distraction, right? But yelling 'Emperor's behind ya!' didn't seem persuasive enough.
Then, a thought enetered his mind. Diabolical.

"Hey, a hot daemonette is behind you!"
"Where?!" shouted all of the Khornates and turned.
He took the opportuninty and ran back into the corridor, half-expecting a wall to appear before him.
One of the Bloodletters shouted:
"DAMNIT! Oldest trick in the frikin' book! After him!"

"That's right... come into the narrow corridor." whispered Rakul to himself.
They were getting closer, when he suddenly turned, dark energy in palm, again.

The khornates stopped... and turned the other way around.
"Doombolt!"
*The following description of the awesome bloody gore has been censored for viewer-safety.*

"Terminated."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Useless piece of metal aka former 'butter knife'

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

See? I told you the corridor was strategicly sound.

Now get your blood, and follow me, with faith, I might just be able to set you free.


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## Tau22

"After a war, everyone's a general..."
The voice was right, though. He entered the room again and put on his damaged helmet. It looked cooler now. He then picked up the Boltpistol and used the remnants of the knife to get some of the blood.

The Bloodletter from earlier returned from the pit. Rakul looked at him and the khornate, upon seeing the destruction, slowly walked backwards.

He grinned and headed back to the altar. He was in the room yet again.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Bloodied useless piece of metal
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


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## blazinvire

Pick up one of their weapons! Honestly you need a toy a bit bigger than that silly excuse for a knife.
Other than that, good word choice for a distraction, that was going to be my suggestion to the next person...
Anyway, one of these other voices seems to know what they're talking about, I'm personally interested in what they were cooking but you should probably keep going with your quest shouldn't you?


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## Tau22

This one was right. He didn't really have a butter knife anymore, did he?
But first... he needed to deliver.
He came to the altar of Khorne and cleaned the broken blade on it. It flashed with a red light and he turned to leave.
At the entrance, he spotted a large axe.

Rakul lifted it with ease. Multi-classing, for the win. As he exited the room, there was only one path.
And a bewitching aroma was coming from it.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Boltpistol with 27 rounds
Badass axe

******

What say you?


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## blazinvire

Probably not a good idea to go down there... Who am I kidding, charge in with that awesome axe in the air and kill the first thing you see, it'd probably try and kill you anyway...
Or you could, you know, walk down there all nice and cautious, quick question though, how long can you hold your breath? That scent is suspicious... but then again so is the random appearance of that axe... and that angry Bloodthirster behind you that I'm lying about, how paranoid do you think I could make you? Oh who cares, you're probably just going to listen to this other sane person in here, bad idea in my opinion.


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## Tau22

This voice was kinda' insane.
After looking behind him for a Bloodthirster, and finding none, he decided to go cautiously forward.
The smell was lovely. Simply lovely. And he didn't feel anything different about his body, either.
Soon, he saw another of those fancy barriers.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Boltpistol with 27 rounds
Badass axe

******

What say you?


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## blazinvire

I wonder what a Doombolt would do to this barrier? Don't suppose you'd try it and see if it has a catastrophic reaction?
I heavily distrust this path, it's too straight forward! Definitely not like Tzeentch! Touching the barrier seemed to work last time, though last time it held a lot of the stench back so maybe it'd be a bad idea here?
I say hold your breath and try and get through that barrier, and don't hesitate for a moment to hit something with that axe! Even if its a damn statue, proceed with caution...
Ahem... fire your Doombolt already, maybe it'll bounce off and hit you!


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## Inquisitor Einar

That scent is temptation luring you in. Once that barrier falls, it will come for you, and it will try and snag you. Steady your mind, lock it down with prayer and steadfastness, oh wait, you're not really the praying type, well now is a good time to start. 
I forsee that death has an alluring smile on it's face when you walk down this path. Does that helmet of yours have a rebreather in it, you might want to check and see if it does, and if it's working, use it.
I always hated my rebreather, but it served me well on every occasion.


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## Tau22

Doombolt, eh?
Well, it can't hurt to try, right? 
...
Right?
He released a wave of dark energy... and it did negate the barrier, but not before bouncing right back at him. He fell to the ground just in time and the doombolt ricocheted off the walls a few times before disappearing in the corridor behind him.
"Great idea, voice!"


******

Inventory:
Strange map
Boltpistol with 27 rounds
Badass axe

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

A little more restraint of such things might be in order. Using diabolic measures like that generally have unforseen consequences. As you learned again just now.

Your badass axe, and your pistol are probably more trustworthy, unless circumstances are dire. Now.. steel yourself, for temptation and excess stand before you.


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## blazinvire

That... was... BRILLIANT! Keep going! Maybe there's something else you can hit with a Doombolt, or perhaps your axe if you get bored...
Restraint? Is that some kind of chainsword? Or maybe a bolter? Sounds dumb in my opinion, Slaanesh always knew how to party, breath in the scent deeply, hopefully you'll slip into a drug-induced stupor and think your axe is a cuddly toy.
Does hint at Slaanesh doesn't it? There are quite a few ways you could go about getting blood from one of those lot, some of which Tzeentch might not agree with...


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Yeah, absolutely brilliant.. you nearly killed yourself. And if you follow into Slaanesh's arms, you will end up as a sextoy for a daemonette who will break your mind and kill you with your pants down. Then feast on your soul. Not quite the prospect you intend to be the outcome in this hellhole, is it?
Now if there was only a flamer around... nothing helps you get your senses in this perfume better than the smell of promethium and burning flesh of those that want to wrap you in silk and strangle you.


----------



## Tau22

Okay... so one of these was a Slaaneshi, a creepy Slaaneshi with indecent thoughts, whic cannot be posted in this 'kid'-friendly forum, the other was one of those battle nuns... or something from the Inquisition, he didn't care. But how the hell do they let the voice of someone who serves the Emperor here?
The all too familiar writing appeared:
"I think it's fun."
"Well, they ain't arguing in YOUR head... or heads."
"Sucks to be you, mate."

He remained silent and merely wlaked forward, axe ready.
The room he entered was large and strabgely barren. The... 'perfume' he decided to call it, was quite prominent, too.
Suddenly, he aheard a sound behind him.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## blazinvire

Don't turn around, maybe it'll go away... Or it could eat you... actually what IS behind you? Wait don't look, the moment you do something will appear where you're looking now!
Then again it might be something you can hit with a Doombolt... Fire away! Fire dammit!!! Insane voice in your head demands explosions!
Although considering you heard a sound instead of being instantly killed it may hint at something more friendly...
EXPLOSIONS!!!!!


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Put your back to a wall, and check out the noise. As for who I am, just call me an angel on your shoulder. I'm only a voice in your head. One that is saner than the rest of them.

I'm also quite happy to keep you alive, since as a voice I'd like to have someone to talk to. I don't think whatever is behind you is friendly though... you're in a labyrinth filled with things that want you dead. The best it could be is the wall closing off escape behind you.


----------



## Col. Schafer

Turn around and shoot the thing behind you. Or chop it up. Or doom bolt it. WHATEVER. Just get rid of it, either its slaneshe and you need its blood, its khornite and it wants you dead, its a tzechian and if you kill it than it doesent matter because you will anayway, its imperial and it wants you dead, and its definately not nurgalite or you would have smelt it already.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

* The voice turns a little dryly * I concur, that is more or less what I was thinking, now go do something before it eats you.


----------



## Tau22

He mentally replied:
"Sorry, voices, but this insane writer who's writing this got preoccupied by Overlord 2."
(Not my fault)
"Yes, it is. Now shut up and let me do their bidding."
(Oh, fine.)

Okay... turn around, they said. Fine. He did turn around, doombolt ready. And there he saw a Daemonette. A frightened one, too. She screamed and he became startled, as well.
"You, meanie! Don't scare a girl like that!"
"Uhhhh.... sorry?"

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

It's a daemon.. shoot and ask questions later, though in this case, questioning is not required, just kill it, whatever she says will be a facade to eat your soul and do those unspeakable things with you.


----------



## blazinvire

Sweet! A daemonette! Seems a shame to just blast her with a doombolt though...
I'm thinking three options here, one, spread her insides over the room and scrape up some blood, or two, take her with you, Daemonette's are incredibly useful, meat shields, makeshift weapons, distract your enemies etcetera, I suppose it'd also give you someone else to talk to...
Oh and you don't want to know the third option... But I personally think a daemonette would be more useful as a meatshield than a source of wall paint


----------



## fdshfn

skulls for the skull god!!!! slaughter the daemonette!!!!
rip its head off with your bare hands before it has a chance to .... idk.... run away?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Daemons are not your friends. They just like to eat your soul and do those unmentionables. 'meanie' is not something a daemon would say unless it would be to her advantage to put you off and possibly at ease at her seeming harmless. Either shoot it with that gun, chop it up or use that doombolt of yours. Chopping it up is probably the best option. Won't waste ammo, and no risk of your doom bolt blowing up anything that's not supposed to be blown up. Like you.
Besides, you have plenty of company in your head already, you sure you want another thing talking to you except us?
Oh.. did I mention this thing eats souls, and definitely likes psyker souls?


----------



## blazinvire

Sigh, doesn't anyone have appreciation for manipulation any more? This is Tzeentch's labyrinth for warp's sake, how are you supposed to prove anything to him if you just hack and slash your way through everything you find? Daemons can be controlled, all it takes is the right kind of manipulation, daemonette's are just as narrow-minded as Khorne is, if its souls she wants, there are probably a lot of things in this labyrinth she can eat.
If she tries any mind games, outsmart her and you won't even need to raise your weapon, now THAT is the true essence of Tzeentch.
... wait... what did I just say!? Is this... sanity? WHERE'S THE APOTHECARY!!???


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

He's probably hazing out on his own 'medication'.. just shoot the damn bitch.


----------



## Tau22

He actually considered killing her... but then the other voice came with the khornate nonsense. And he hated khornate nonsense.
And, even though he knew what option three was (and he liked the idea), he decided to go with number two, 'take Daemonette with you'.
Hey, a rhyme!

"Ummmm... would you... want to go with me?"
"Oooooh! Finally, I can get outta' here! It's so boring in this dump. Sure!" she stopped for a moment and realised something, "wait, you want blood?"
"Well, yes."
"Well, I could give you some... but it would hurt my pretty skin. Or you could always fight Cuddles."

Cuddles?

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## fdshfn

umm.... cuddlies? sounds dangerous.... agree to go kill cuddlies but find out wat they are first


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Told you.. it's trying to use you for it's own ends. I'm guessing this bitch doesn't like this 'cuddles'.. and anything in a daemonic labyrinth with a cute name sounds like it's nasty.. it's a classic really. Still makes me smile though if I had a mouth that could anyway.


----------



## Tau22

"Hey, loud voice of justice and order, gimme' a break. She's cute."

Now to the matters at hand.
"Okay... I'll kill this 'Cuddles', then. Where... and WHAT THE HELL is it?"
"Oh, follow me. You'll see."
She walked away, occasionally jumping and he followed.
"By the way, what is that smell?"
"My perfume. Like it?"
"Very."
She giggled.
"Aunella."
"Rakul."
Thank you for giving his name to him, Changer.

They walked through a smaller corridor, which then led them to a round room.
Aunella pointed.
"There's Cuddles."
He looked in that direction and saw a small, fluffy white creature with long ears.
"A bunny?"
"Yeah, that one's cute... but Cuddles is way over there!"
He watched as a tentacle suddenly emerged and grabbed the bunny, then towed it to a massive, glob-like creature with at least a dozen more of the same tentacles. And it was mercilessly devoured.

"A... tentacle monster..."
"Yup. Mistress Slaanesh likes these weird thingies. I hear they cause trouble in schools."
"Riiiiight..."

How was he going to fight that?

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## fdshfn

use his physcic powers and blow it to hell!!!


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Well, since you decided to get cuddly with the daemonette.. have her chop up any tentacles that get too close.. and yeah... doombolt that thing to hell and back, no use in using small weapons on something like that.
I remember having one of these appear at the schola progenium when I was a fresh-year student, we had just finished sword practice lessons.. it was not a good day for Slaanesh. Keep your axe handy for if those tentacles get close. I bet it's going to grab your new girlfriend and she's going to scream to have you save her in a moment.
Now Doombolt that thing, or something bigger if you can. Did I mention they're nasty fuckers?


----------



## blazinvire

Ooo... that thing's pretty cool... yet disturbing in a way...
Wait a sec, where the hell did the fluffy white rabbit come from anyway!!??? Hmm, check for any more rabbits, maybe you could use them as bait. Failing that, maybe the daemonette has some ideas, she gave the thing a name after all so obviously she knows something.
Let's see... all you need is the blood, if worse comes to worst, cut off one of the tentacles, steal it and run like hell.


----------



## Col. Schafer

Thats what I get for thinking logicaly... a freindly daemonett my third ass... fuck tehzech

Tenticles, I like it...

Anyhoo, blowing it up seems a good plan, on the other hand running like hell could work to, you already have a slaneshee daemon right there, and its better to be alive and annoy the girl than to get eaten by somthing that slaneshe should definately lend to grandaddy nurgle.


----------



## fdshfn

sacrifice the demonette in a powerful ritual so u have more power....
or you can ask her for advice....
or you culd use the fluffy bunny and ask it nicely to attack cuddles


----------



## Tau22

The voices spoke through each other. He did hear the words blow up, doombolt, bunny bait and a short tale from the Schola Progenium.
"Also... she's not my girlfriend... not yet, anyway. Though, she is cute."

And he suddenly got an idea. A crazy, retarded and revolutionary idea. But before he could ask her a question, a tentacle crept closer to her leg and he redied his axe.
Before he could use it, however, she raised said leg and stomped on the slimy appendage with great force. He noticed she had... high heel shoes. Purple ones. Where the Warp did she get 'em here?! Cuddles screeched in pain.
"No, Cuddles, not today."
The tentacle went away.
"I would ask, but I'm afraid I'd have nightmares afterwards. Anyway... Aunella... why and where do ya keep the white bunnies?"
"Oh, we keep them as food for Cuddles."
"That... makes sense. WARP, it;s the only thing that makes sense in this place!!! And... where are they?"
"Over there in the corner."
He followed her gaze and spotted a small hole in the wall with *BUNNYZ 'ERE* written above it.
"Why is it writen funny?"
"An ork helped us make the hole."
He didn't even bother asking and went to the hole. Another fluffy white bunny came out.

"Hey, little guy," it kept staring at him with those huge, cute eyes, "ummm... ain't you mad at Cuddles for eating your brothers and sisters and parents and whatnot?" it seemed to nod slightly, "well... don't you want payback or something?"

The bunny stood there for a moment and then emmitted some sort of sound, which Rakul couldn't identify. Soon, over eighty bunnies came out of the hole and made their way to Cuddles, while the two watched them.

Cuddles was already starting to drool... but the bunnies then opened their mouths, revealing over a hundred sharp teeth each. Cuddles was afraid. AFRAID. The beasts pounced on the tentacle beast and started tearing it to shreds mercilessly.

"I... didn't know they could do that. Ouch."
"I would ask 'How could you NOT know?!', but the heart attack must stop first."
One of its slimy appendages landed near them. The bunnies closed their jaws and turned back into cute little critters. There was no sign of Cuddles, except for that one tentacle.
Rakul swore to incinerate anything resembling a bunny from then on.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## fdshfn

collect the creatures tentacle for the chamber place...
then look at your map, if its blank
ask the daemonette for directions...
and then go the exact opposite way, just in case the daemon's evil


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Great.. tentacle beasts eaten by killer bunnies.. well, at least you got the tentacle.
That was the last bit you needed for that four altar place.. I'm sure we'll find some more wonderfull things beyond that, who knows, maybe you'll even find an exit.


----------



## Tau22

He came closer and picked up the slimmy appendage. It still moved a bit, which was kinda creepy.
"Ewwwww..."
When a daemonette is grossed out... you know it's bad.
"Tell me about it... to the altar we go."

And so they did. The corridors seemed to... grow larger, afraid of getting touched by the tentacle.
The four altars were in sight, finally.

******

Inevntory no one actually cares about:
Strange map
Tentacle
Badass axe
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## fdshfn

ok put the tentacle in the slaanesh spot (shuld be nurgle) 
oh yeah enter all carefully in case theres another demon-thing in there 
and then look at the next altar and ask the demon wat you need next
oh and maybe shoot somthing with the pistol just for fun


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

We got nurlge, tzeenzth, khorne and slaanesh, 4 pints of blood, 4 altars.. I would say we're set for 'the next level' or whatever keeps tabs on progress through this place.


----------



## Tau22

He stepped closer to _her_ purple altar. The tentacle wiggled out of his grasp on its own and jumped into it. Weird.
There was a bright flash and the sword in the room's middle fell to the ground.

"Excellent, sorcerer. The blade in front of you is imbued with the souls of a thousand daemons. When you die, I'll take it ba... if you get out of here, you can keep it."

Rakul first looked at the axe.
"Hmmm... Unholy daemonic blade imbued with the power of thousands, with which I'll be able to kick Ultrasmurf arse... or an axe. Tough choice."
He threw the axe into Khorne's pedestal, which fell over, and then picked up the sword.
The voice commented:
"Well... tall, bloody and gruesome won't be happy a bout that."
"Your labyrinth, your problem. Let's continue, Aunella."
"Okie dokie."

The passed into the entrance on the other side of the chamber and walked.

The two entered an oval room... with no floor, apparently. It was just a big hole. The path could be clearly seen on the other side.
Real funny...

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Col. Schafer

Oh! I got this one, sacrifice the daemonett to nurgle in exchange for wings.


----------



## fdshfn

hmmm..... use the demons in the sword as ur slaves and command them to make a bridge for u


----------



## Tau22

"One more 'Kill Aunella' and I will personally erase Tau from existence."
(NO, PLEASE!!!)
"Oh, yes! She's cute and I'm not gonna' kill her!"

Okay... use the daemons in the blade? How does one do that? Aren't they just enslaved in the sword?
Well... it's not like he had a better idea. He pointed the daemonic blade and sent a psychic command:
"Make a bridge, dimwits."
He wasn't sure if that would work, but he wasn't in the mood for some advanced magical gibberish.
Suddenly, a Horror daemon appeared in front of him, with low budget smoke effects. Then another and another! Soon, there were too many of the critters to count and they started making a makeshift bridge out of their bodies.

When they were finished, he motioned:
"Ladies first."
"Oh, what a gentleman... fine."
She slowly walked upon the minor daemons to the other side. Those high heels had to hurt. He was close behind her. Once they were both on the other side, the Horrors retreated back into the blade.
"Awesome."
"I guess. Come on, tin can!"
"Right."
They walked forward... and another of those frikin' barriers was in sight... and roars could be heard.

Writing yet again:
"Ain't I an evil bastard?"

Rakul wanted to smash the wall.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## fdshfn

hmmm.... now that you have an army of demon slaves, u might get out alive....
dont shoot the wall, thats a waste of ammo
ask ur demonette friend if she can do anyting, lke shoot deadly bolts of raw energy or sumthing to blow up the wall.....
or maybe sacrifice some of ur demon servants in return for help from one of the chaos gods....
or order ur servants to attack the wall...
or pray to some pagen god for it to open....
so many choices....


----------



## Col. Schafer

_"the logical options are thus: Hack the wall down with the daemon weapon, Doom blast it to oblivion, or get the daemonett to do somthing.

Since this is Tzeentch's maze, all those are right out. Try just walking thru." _


----------



## blazinvire

I like your smash the wall initiative, though you don't have any tools for it unfortunately... Oh I know! Ask Aunella to kick it down with those badass purple heels!
Or you know you could... talk to the wall and see if it lets you through, considering those words popped up.
EXPLOSIONS!!!!!
Yes! Sanity begone! Doombolt that damn wall until your head freakin explodes!
Beat the hell out of it with the daemon weapon, I could use the laugh when it kills you.
Don't suppose you know Hammerhand by some odd chance? Not that I don't mind Doombolt, Doombolts are very pretty and explosive so I won't complain.
... Where DID Aunella get those shoes?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Ok, Sanity check here.. ( again ).. doombolting walls got your head nearly blown off last time. Just carefully walking through sounds like a much better option really.
As for those shoes.. I know a great place on Ophelia where you can get some Wonderfull shoes like that.
Oh and before you ask, yes, I Adepta Sororitas ARE versed in fighting in high heels and using them to their advantage. Ofcourse ours are made of hardened Ceramite, so they won't break and such.


----------



## marxalvia

Just turn around and jump into the hole, the next level or whatever you call it is probably right below you.


----------



## Col. Schafer

_Damit! Now that youve braught up a sane argument for my idea it probably wont work! You have to think like the crazy bastard running this hell-hole._


----------



## Tau22

Great... walk through seemed to be a prominent decision. And he definitely wasn't goingto jump down the hole... or attack the barrier. The Imperial sister voice was right about that one. Before he went through with his plan, he asked:
"Have you ever been to Ophelia?"
"Yeah, on a secret shopping spree. Why?"
"Oh, nothing. Ladies..."
"Oh, no. YOU'RE going first this time."
"Oh, fine."

He slowly approached the barrier and then put his hand on its surface. It went through. Okay... it seemed to be working. He slowly stepped through in his entirety. Shortly after, a 'HOLY SHIT!' could be heard throughout the labyrinth.
"Ummm... what's wrong, Rakul?"
"Come here and look."
She reluctantly passed through the barrier, too. And she saw a monstrosity in front of them.

A Bloodthirster of Khorne, to be precise. Chained by some magical doohickies. Its jaws were but a few feet in front of them.
"How cute...."
"Cute? CUUUUUTE?!?!? Are all slaaneshi insane?"
"Pretty much."
"Oh..."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Mordeth

...If I could use your eyes I would have rolled them in asthonishment... 
hmm, what to do, what to do, that is your question, right? Well!

...

I really have no idea... 
Or wait!
...
No...
...
Or maybe... 

...

Maybe not...
...

Perhaps ypu shold bla...
Nah, won't work... What a dilemma...

...

How about you use bait and slip past? maybe the dea... like that would help for a Bloodthirster...

what to do, what to do...

Hey!
I know what yo should do! 
And it's really so simple!
Ain't yo proud of me?!


----------



## blazinvire

Wow it must be really trying to get you if its jaws are that close, probably leaning as far forward as it can...
Break the magical things holding it, maybe it'll fall into the hole in the previous room after it eats you. Then again bloodthirsters get rather weak when they haven't killed anything, you could probably sit there for awhile and eventually it'd just fall over dead. Gives you time to chat up the daemonette I suppose...
Or...... Doombolt it to the freakin head!!! I wanna see how far its brain matter goes! Spose Aunella could kick it in the face, that'd be pretty funny too...
Then again... this is Tzeentch's labyrinth, not Khorne's, which is a pity, you could probably get the daemonette to distract it with its slaaneshi charms and sneak around, or impale it while its occupied... Probably have to impale it so Aunella could get around too unless she has more tricks up her metaphorical sleeve than most daemonettes.


----------



## Col. Schafer

_"Punch it in the face! Its the last thing any sane person would expect!"_


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Fine, you want some insane advice.. try treating it like a big dog..
DOWN BOY! DOWN!

It's chained up, so it can't hurt you just yet.. if that doesn't work.. Doombolt to the head sounds like a good option.


----------



## Tau22

The first voice didn't make any sense. The others made somewhat-sense.

Aunella leaned closer.
"Good boy!" it nearly chomped her hand off, "bad boy! BAD!"
"This isn't a dog! It's a beast with teeth the size of my arm! Therefore, no punching in the face!"
He instead used a doombolt. The dark energy flew, but then harmlessly bounced off the monster's head, exploding on a wall nearby instead.
Words started appearing in the air before the duo:
"Haha, you're fu..."
The Bloodthirster _ate_ the rest.
"Okay, I'm guessing aggression won't help us.."
"Duh, tin can."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

I guess you should have brought more bunnies.. Still, with a little more forcefullness, you might just get it to heel if you tell it to DOWN.. your girlfriend doesn't have that much authority and such.
If that doesn't work, try sucking it into your sword, then you'll have a sword of 1001 daemons...


----------



## blazinvire

Ooooooh I see, it's hungry... of course its bloody hungry what am I saying? So let's look at our options here... You could try talking to Tzeentch some more, maybe it'll get full off eating the words.
Oooooh I got a better idea! MORE DOOMBOLTS!!!
Wonder if bloodthirsters enjoy eating other daemons... Could try summoning the daemons out of your blade again, use em as a distraction and run around.
Does your map show any other pathways out of here? Bloodthirsters are quite the obstruction.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

As much as I hate to say this.. but sending your daemons from your sword into that bloodthirster means they won't be coming back.. that kinda means they won't go back into your sword, so less daemons in the sword.. less oomph in it.


----------



## Col. Schafer

_"I have a brilliant idea! Try somoning the bloodthirster into the materium! I can only asume what with the abundance of daemons (and this being the labyrinth of Tzeentch and all) that you currently in the warp, so somoning the daemon into the materium would make it go somewhere else." _


----------



## Tau22

Hmmm... summoning this kinda' daemon would need a host... and he would have to be close to the 'victim'. So that was out of the question.
And so, he tried the 'DOWN' route.

"DOWN BOY, DOWN!"
The beast roared and then spat at him. Of course, due to the daemon's size, it covered him completely.
"Oh, poor Rakul."
He wiped some of the slimy substance from his visor and then looked the khornate in the eyes.
"Okay, buddy, that was it! If it'll take a thousand of these Horrors, so be it! You're going down!" just as he wanted to release them, however, he realised something. There were a thousand daemons in the blade. But that wasn't a number the Changer liked, "one dimwit, outta' the sword!"
The Horror just out of the Bloodthirster's reach.
"Ummm... what are you doing?"
"You'll see. Dimwit, attack!"

The minor daemon moved three inches closer and was mercilessly torn to tiny bits by the monster. And Rakul's blade started shining in a blue hue.
Writing:
"Hmmm. You sure are a smart one. You now have nine hundred and ninety-nine daemons in your sword. And it has reached the peak of its power. It can... suck the life out of things, you could say. Not tro mention negate any and all magical energies harmful to you."
Kinda attypical for a sorcerer to wield a spell-negating sword, but he didn't care.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Ultra-badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## thomas2

I'm guessing there isn't any room to go round without being eaten?

Looks like you'll have to kill it with your sword. Magic won't work against a high level servant of Khorne, and you're bolt pistol won't do anything.

Go you little man! Slaughter the massive daemon of the god of war or die trying!


----------



## Tau22

(Sorry, guys. Imah going to a cottage in the mountains for a week. See ya on Saturday!)


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Hmm.. less is more.. How quaint.. I guess your sword learned something about make-up. Are you sure it's not a Slaaneshi sword?
I concur.. I think this needs to be done the hard way.. have fun, and don't die.. I'd like to be able to berate a traitorous minion of chaos some more.


----------



## Mordeth

POKE IT IN THE EYE!
POKE POKE POKE POKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPLOKEKOPEDOPELOPESOAP!

Or you could go back from whence you came... and send an 'experimental' deamon down the deep, black hole. While that would most likely do squat, it sure would be fun listening to the Horror scream its sould out (almost literally,) now wouldn't it?

But I stand by my first advice... POKEPOKEPOKEPOKE IT IN ITS FREAKING EYE!!!


----------



## fdshfn

use ur crazy awsome sword and suck the life out of it 
or u culd cut its chains and make it fall into the big hole u saw earlier, using a demon as bait, then as it falls steal its soul so u have 999 demons again

or u culd sacrifice you hand to the blood god and hope in its place he gives u a giant muscular arm that counts as 20 close combat weapons for puposes of assualt and kill that thing

but if that doesnt work you could go crazy and call urself captain hook, then u could chase around a small boy called peter pan

so many choices in life...


----------



## fdshfn

Mordeth said:


> POKE IT IN THE EYE!
> POKE POKE POKE POKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPLOKEKOPEDOPELOPESOAP!
> 
> Or you could go back from whence you came... and send an 'experimental' deamon down the deep, black hole. While that would most likely do squat, it sure would be fun listening to the Horror scream its sould out (almost literally,) now wouldn't it?
> 
> But I stand by my first advice... POKEPOKEPOKEPOKE IT IN ITS FREAKING EYE!!!


POKE IT IN THE EYE???!!!
BE A MAN!!!!
RIP ITS MOTHER F*****G EYE OUT!!!


----------



## Android089

well i say that you should just give it a swipe with the blade

cut its head off

the blade is glowing blue
that means it is STRONG:so_happy:

or you could summon up some master doombolt of the warp and blast it


----------



## fdshfn

maybe you could feed it some dog food, or give it a hug... or release it, maybe itll be your friend, or it tzeentch actually cares about ur life he'll keep you alive when it inevitably kills you, just like he did for that other dude. or you culd combine all 999 demons into 1 ultra demon thing that will eat the thingy for breakfest


----------



## Mordeth

And then decides to make you the dessert? I would say no, thank you to that idea...
Then again, you are most definitivly the craziest person I have ever met (which says little enough considering we live in your head... or maybe its my head and I'm dreaming all of this...*tries to take control of body and kiss the deamonette, but nothing happens.* nope, guess not.)


----------



## TUBERStripple01

no no no no no no you guys are goin about this all the wrong way,
everyone knows that you catch more flies(or in this case daemons) with honey than you do with vineger.
so next chance you get you'ed better find some honey


----------



## Mitchy

well if honey fails, then youd better let out all 999 of those daemons and open up with 999 shots, plus your own super shot, with that many shoots it will defentily die, and if the proves to be too hard, then at least you pissed it off (it would be fun to stand half and inch away from its mouth and laugh as it cant bite you)


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Not a bad idea.. it's stuck there.. those horror things can fry it from a distance.. keeps you nice and safe while it dies under a withering hail of daemonic energy.


----------



## blazinvire

ESTABLISH DOMINANCE!!!!
Puff yourself up all big like and let out a roar that'd make a Berserker think twice if he actually could! Let it all out, in fact, let out your psyker side too, amp up that roar with some beastly psyker powers like a Banshee!!!
KNOCK THE DAMN LABYRINTH DOWN!!!
... No I didn't eat the soul of a Noise Marine, what the hell are you talking about?
Alright maybe I did, but it's not like I did it on purpose!
... Alright maybe I did, I had to eat him cause I wanted his Blastmaster, those things freakin rock!
Man that guy is such a dousche... wait... you guys DID hear him right...?
Damn it I hate having voices in my head they're such a pain!!


----------



## fdshfn

lol if you knock the labyrinth down then you'll be exposed to pure warp energy and die pretty quickly


----------



## Mordeth

_...and if you die, I am free to go home...hmm..._
*
SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT!*


----------



## fdshfn

mordeth has a point.... stab yourself and let me go


----------



## Tau22

I promise Tau shall pay for his incompetence later.
(But...!!!)
No buts! I shall let my little daemonic buddies tear you to tiny bits later, now.... TYPE!
(Oh, fine...)

He first eyed the daemonic blade and then the massive khornate. Time for some fun. He moved an inch closer, so that the thing's teeth were right in front of him. And he raised the glowing blade.
The Bloodthirster chomped, but the blade held, and its teeth broke. It screeched in pain moved its head away from the battle-sorcerer.
Rakul then took a leap of faith and grabbed a part of the daemon's armour. His blade then pierced the beast's hide and he plunged the sword up to the hilt. And he pulled downwards, cutting off the monster's arm. The Bloodthirster was not pleased and threw Rakul off, sword included.

It now stood there, bleeding even more than before.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Col. Schafer

Doom-bolt the wound! Add insult to injury! (quite litteraly considering he's a bloodthirster...)


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

See? Few problems in the universe can't be solved by chopping up daemons and heretics.
Now finish him.


----------



## Col. Schafer

You walked into that, I just couldnt not do it.


----------



## blazinvire

Well suuuure there are loads of problems I've fixed by making bloody messes, but I usually get more fun out of screwing with their heads, they live longer for me to torment them.
So, I guess this bloodthirster is just going to bleed to death, go figure, maybe go chop its other arm off for laughs, spill more blood etcetera, it might be able to chase you around then without its other arm restraining it with the shackles which sounds like a lot of fun. Though it might try and eat Aunella in that case, how annoying.
I vote jumping onto its back and hacking away, dig open a hole in its back and plunge a hand in to fire doombolt! I want to see how many pieces it ends up in!


----------



## fdshfn

hmmm..... you shuld sacrifice the wounded "thing" to a chaos god... or you culd be nice and spare it and keep as a pet...
or you could use ur pyscic powers and...
I KNOW
USE UR PSYCIC POWERS AND HEAT UP A SINGLE GRAIN OF SAND TO LIKE A MILLION DEGREES.
THEN FORCE IT INSIDE HIS BODY STARTING IN HIS NECK MUSLCE.
KEEP IT HEATED LIKE THAT FOR A FEW WEEKS AS HE SCREAMS IN PAIN AS IT MELTS THROUGH HIS BODY!!!!!!!!!!
now that sounds like fun...
or you culd just behead him


----------



## Tau22

After yet another case of laziness, I apologise for my creator and current god of this RP. The lazy arse...

Finish it... okay. Time to prove his inner macho and Rambo-ish self and do something epic.
"Hmmmm... that's it! But first.... I'd need epic music."

There is a silence, but then good ol' Changer thinks 'Why the Warp not?' and starts playing a song.
Sirens, gunfire. Then, there came a kickass guitar and a voice:

*Another mission, the powers have called me away,
another time to carry the colours again.
My motivation, an oath I've sworn to defend.
To win the honour, of coming back home again.*​
"Oh, hell yeah! Time to own stuff!"
Rakul lifted his blade and charged at the still-chained beast. The Bloodthirster roared terribly and tried to snap him in half with its jaws. He barely dodged the teeth and slashed at the daemon's nech. His blade bit deep into flesh and it screeched in pain.
He caught the damon's armour and used one of the spikes on it as a ledge and climbed onto its back. In a second, he was crouching on the writhing beast's head, ready to deliver the final blow.

*I'll have you know.
That I've become.

INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Determination that is incorruptible!​*
He brought down the daemonic sword, piercing its hide and skull. The beast stood for a moment, as the magical chains dissipated, and then collapsed to the ground, beaten. 'FATALITY' could be heard in the air.
He stood upon the corpse as the music stopped and a passageway behind the corpse was revealed.

Aunella looked at him dreamily.
"Wow! That was so heroic and awesome! You're incredible!"
He felt a bit of heat under his helmet.
"Eheheheheh.... thanks."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Mitchy

the voice from the wall says: "this is Khorne and thank you for the blood, i cannot reach the phone right now but i will return your call shortly, say in 100,000 millenia, sound good? Bye.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

That was almost as good as when I was facing a band of chaos marines on a little hellhole called turis IV. I still swear I could hear angels playing the emperor's song of retribution as I choped about 50 of them down one by one with my sword.


----------



## fdshfn

go carefully through the revealed passage


----------



## Android089

no you should run into the sectret passage that the bloodthirster was guarding and just smack anything you see!!!!


----------



## Tau22

The voices were right, again. Time to move on.
"Come, Aunella. We must continue."
"Uhuh. Lead the way."
They entered the small passage way and made their way through narrow corridors. Eventually, they came to another door.
"Okay, Tau's just using this to get more posts, the rapscallion."
"Who?"
"Oh... nothing."
He had forgotten he was the only one with fourth wall awareness right now.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## marxalvia

Doombolt the door down and charge in bolt pistol blazing just for the fun of it.


----------



## Mitchy

ok, so heres what you do...

chop open the door and then doombolt anything alive in there


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Sheesh.. enough with all the violence already.. don't you guys EVER consider just knocking?


----------



## Tau22

Well... the imperial had a point. And so, his knuckles impacted the wooden door. No response. So he knocked a second time.
"Okay, okay! I'm coming! JEEZ!"
That voice... was familiar, somehow.
The door opened and Rakul saw a terrible figure. By shape, a Bloodletter. But its skin was black and the only thing red were its eyes and the fur on its back. On its head were two golden horns and it wielded a huge daemonic axe. Aunella took a step back, but the two figures just stared at each other.
"Nebulon?!"
"Master Rakul?!"
"What are you doing here?!"
"I could ask the same to you. But, uh, remember when I told ya I had something to do this week?"
"Yes... but why are you here?"
"Well, this labyrinth was constructed by the joint efforts of all four of the Chaos gods. It only carries Tzeentch's name, because he won the honour in cards. Khorne still thinks the Changer cheated."
Letters appeared:
"I did not!"
"Yeah, right. Anyway, this place requires a champion-level minor daemon of one of the deities to be present. This week was my shift."
"I see..."
"Hey, you're the Bloodletter Mithara's dating, right?"
"Well, yeah, heheheh."
"How cute!"
This place was weird.

*******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Ok.. NOW you can blast him.. he just gave you the awnser to getting out of here.
It requires a daemon of his stature to be present. Blow him away and that should weaken this place giving you a way out.
On second thought.. hold that a moment.. since you know this guy, see if you can get more information out of him before blowing him up.


----------



## Tau22

"You imperials sure are quick to tell others to kill friends, ya know?"


"Wait, so you need to be present for this place to actually work?"
"Huh? Warp naw! It's just a stupid rule the four made up, to annoy us."
"Oh... what's in this room, anyway?"
"Come in and you'll see."
Rakul looked at Aunella, who nodded. And they entered the room.

What he saw, was a seemingly infinite chasm. However, a dim light could be seen, far away.
"You've gotta be kidding me..."
"I'm afraid it's like this, master."
"How do we get to the other side?"
"Well... when ya find out, tell me."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## TUBERStripple01

do the same as before, make a bridge from your deamons.


----------



## Thuellai

Leap of faith! LEAP OF FAITH!


----------



## oblivion8

considering this IS Tzeentch, I'm going to have to go with the leap of faith.

he will probably jump and find that it isnt as long as it seemed, or he'll fall and land on a plane of glass or something XD


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Sorry.. he's a demon.. I kinda am used to killing them instead of cavorting with them.
Anyway.. it's probably not as far as it looks. It's probably some trick of the light, though your demons probably won't think that.


----------



## Tau22

"Okay, I'm going."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"What she said. Master, what are you...?"
Rakul wasn't listening. The sorcerer ran towards the edge and jumped. And fell.

The two daemons stared at the pit with horror. But soon, Rakul appeared above them. And fell again into the chasm. And reappeared above.
Both emmitted a sigh of relief.

Letters:
"Now you're thinking with portals."
Both of the sorcerer's middle fingers were shown.
"Don't just stand there, idiot! Make it stoooop!"
"Yes, master."
Nebulon disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke and reappeared near Rakul. The daemon then caught his master and warped back to Aunella.
"Master... that was stupid."
"Now I know."
"Are you two alright? Also, that was cool! Mithara never mentioned that..."
"I only use it when it's needed."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Mitchy

wait if Tzeenchs faverate number is nine, then you have to go throw the portal nine times, jump again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. then you will be at the other side


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Considering every time you fall through the portal, you will accelerate, by the time you reach the other side with that, you wil have achieved terminal velocity, which as the name says.. is terminal, bad idea.
Is there maybe a way to check your sword's daemon inventory? See if there is one in there with wings or something, or just ask if your khornflake pal can do the teleport to the other side.


----------



## Tau22

A... daemon inventory? It couldn't hurt to try, could it? After all, this place was full of insane things.
"Ummm... open inventory?" 
A small round 'window' in the fabrics of this questionable reality appeared, showing a featureless plain with uncountable daemons on it. All Horrors, apparently.
"Coolsville."
"Hey, idiots!" the daemons turned towards him, "is there someone with wings in there?"
Several of the minor ones formed a small tower and the ones who were higher looked around. But they then shook their heads.
"You need diversity, master."
"Yeah... some Flamers, Discs and Daemonettes would be ideal."
"Hmmmm?!"
"Oh, nothing... all's fine, Aunella... Okay, plan B. Nebulon?"
"Yes, master?"
"Get us to the other side."
"But... I shouldn't be helping those in the dungeon..."
"Is it strictly said, anywhere in the rules, that you cannot?"
"Well, no... but still!"
Aunella came closer to the Bloodletter.
"I'll tell Mithara what a hero you were."
Silence, then:
"DEAL! Ladies first."
Nebulon caught the Daemonette and they disappeared. Letters appeared near Rakul:
"I knew I had forgotten about something... I have to rethink those rules."
"Yes, ya do, bird brain."
The purple cloud was back.
"Let's go, master."
"As you say, my friend."
Reality became meaningless for a second and then they both reappeared before a massive red gate.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

So ask your friend what this gate leads to, he probably knows.. otherwise, maybe get a good look before knocking, opening or blowing it open. ( preferably in that order would be best )


----------



## fdshfn

hmm, are there any symbols on the gate that could give you a clue as to wats inside?
also, what color red is it? if it is blood red it could be leading to another khorn room...
ok just got great idea tell ur bloodletter friend to go first
if he says no
capture ur bloodletter friend inside your sword and force him to go first


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

And you remark that _I_ am eager to shoot my friends... * wonders if it's possible to shoot all her 'friends' in Rakul's head if only to shut them up *


----------



## Mitchy

DOOMBOLT, DOOMBOLT, DOOMBOLT!!!
if there is a daemon in there it will be so scared from the noice you made to open up the door that it will run away


----------



## Tau22

"Sorry, Inquisitor or whatever you are... but you seemed like one of the few entities who still grasp the concept of sanity in this place."

"Uhuh... red gate... let me take a wild guess. Khornate barracks?"
"Yup. Wasn't that hard to figure out?"
"Yeah, totally. Listen, you go and peek inside. If its other Bloodletters, you can boss 'em around. If it's something bigger, I'll help you."
"Oh, fine." the daemonic champion slowly opened the door and peaked inside, "well, this is certainly interesting."
"What? What's in there?"
"See for yourself, master."
Nebulon stepped away from the door and Rakul peaked inside. He saw a monstrous Juggernaught daemon, probably thrice as alrge as a Bloodthirster... tied to a small leash.
"Lemme' see!" Aunella pulled the sorcerer out of the way and looked herself, "ooooh! Fluffy!"
Both of them turned to her: "Fluffy?!"
"Yeah! Khorne's personal ride. Mistress Slaanesh called it that."
"K-khorne's personal mount?!" The two started shivering.
"Oh, don't worry! He's harmless!"

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27

******

What say you?


----------



## TUBERStripple01

his harmless so just go give him a pat on the head, and if on the off chance he isnt harmless well at least your death will be quick...... and bloody.


----------



## Mitchy

Khorne will be very angery if you touch his mount, i say go around it and dont let it touch you, or let one of your conpanions touch it.


----------



## blazinvire

As long as you kill everything in sight I don't think Khorne'll care, truly is a brilliant guy that Khorne. Maybe scream blood for the blood god and try and mount it?
Wish I had a Juggernaught, it'd make a nice change from a Rhino, but I doubt a Juggernaught would like me putting my Blastmaster on it, not sure how much they like sound, or maybe my choice of music...
Perhaps pull a daemon out of your sword and hurl it across the room yelling 'Fetch?'
It'd be amusing to say the least, I'd love to see the devastation that beast can do.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Since your girlfriend knows something about that thing, ask her about it.. Since it's on a leash, you'd expect that there's SOME way of keeping it in check.. maybe if you can get hold of that leash, it will listen to you.
Not giving any garantees on that though.. cavorting with demons is NOT my forte.


----------



## Tau22

"Ummm, Aunella?"
"Yeah?"
"How do we get past it?"
"Oh, the poor little guy just wants a snack."
"Why do you refer to him as 'little guy'?!"
"Well, he is just a month old."
"Okay... NOW I'm afraid."
"Oh, don't be such a worrywart! Come on!"
Without another word, the daemonette ran in.

"Now we have to save her, master?"
"Unfortunately, my friend. Let's try an Imperial battlecry, maybe it'll startle.. erm, Fluffy."
"Okay."
"For the Golden toilet!"
They ran inside... to see a peculiar image.

Aunella stood right next to Fluffy and kept petting the monstrosity.
"You're a good boy, yus you are!" Fluffy probably wanted to purr, but all that came out was a terrible growl. He then used his massive tongue to lick the daemonette, leaving Aunella completely covered with saliva, "awwww, how cute."
As soon as the juggernaught noticed the sorcerer and bloodletter, however, it roared terribly and in seconds, its mouth almost bit them in half... but the leash stopped it.
"Okay, eheheh... it likes girls, but not us... heheheh..."
"Master? Could we take a few steps backwards?"
"Why certainly!"
And by 'a few steps' they meant ten yards.
"What now, master?"
"Good question."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Well, if he's hungry, you could feed it some of those 999 horrors you got in that sword of yours. And since he likes your girlfriend, I suppose she could take it along for a little extra muscle.


----------



## Mitchy

no, you have to tell Aunella to take Fluffy for a walk then when hes gone you can get past him


----------



## Col. Schafer

You could try giving it a terminal illness to distract it so you can get by. You are a sorcerer after all.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Demons don't get sick, at least not as far as I know... else Slaanesh demons would be extinct by STDs by now.


----------



## Tau22

"Umm, Aunella?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you find that monstrosity something to eat?"
"Sure! His snacks are right over there!"
She literally hopped off towards the other end of the chamber, while the massive 'hound' still watched them. She returned later with a small box labelled 'Scooby snax'.
"Those are his snacks?"
"Yup, his favourite! Here boy!" she threw one of the small cookie-things into the air and Fluffy caught it with its tongue. The soft growl probably meant he liked it. Aunella then threw the box to the duo, "you give him some! Maybe he'll like you after that!"
"Good plan. You first."
"How kind of you, master..."
Nebulon threw it one of the cookies and then... walked right past the juggernaught. Rakul did the same. Fluffy then wagged the miniscule tail it had and licked both.
"Ughhhhh..."
"I know, master. Where to now?"
"How 'bout here?"
Aunella stood next to a small pit Fluffy had apparently been sitting on.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## marxalvia

Well if Fluffy was guarding it, it is either full of its favorite bones, or leads to another passage. I say to go ahead and have Nebulon jump down first to see if it is safe, and if it is, follow him.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Can't argue with that, might want to give fluffy another snack though while your demon friend is scouting.


----------



## blazinvire

Hurl a doombolt down the pit, if anything screams, keep firing them until they stop, or until your head explodes, either one


----------



## Col. Schafer

All the bases seem covered already, my vote goes to shoot doom bolts untill the screaming stops.


----------



## Android089

i think you should let "Fluffly" off his leash and throw a treat down the little secret passage, if "Fluffy" dies then you should throw doombolts 

if "Fluffly lives then just go down the passage way


----------



## Tau22

Rakul first looked at Fluffy and then at the hole. Nope, the 'nought would't fit in there. He looked at nebulon.
"You first."
"Oh, no, you."
"Rock, paper, scissors."
"Kay." Rakul formed a fist, while Nebulon left two of his fingers up, "uhhh... can't we go again?"
"No. Now get down there."
"Bah!"
The Bloodletter champion smashed his axe into one of the pit's walls and iused it to slide down the wall, rather than fall. There was a long silence, but then came his voice:
"It's dark down here. The wall suddenly stops, but then there some cushiony things to stop the fall. They're slimy, too."
"I don't olike the sound of that... oh, well. Aunella?"
"Okay." she just jumped and after a while spoke, "heheh, these things tickle."
He jumped down, as well. The fall should have been crushing, but it was somehow nullified by the squishy stuff. And the darkness around them seemed impenetrable, not even the light from the above chamber could be seen.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Get one of your horrors out and let it light up it's flamer thing, that should give you some nice bright light to see with.. and to burn anything that might give problems.


----------



## thomas2

Just use some sort of light producing spells- I'm sure you've got one and not just combat spells right?

The problem with using a horror is it weakens the blade, so getting attacked quickly could be a problem.


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Oh the horror.. loss of power on his weapon.. if people were going to attack, they'd already have done it.. or are currenlty slithering tentacles up your legs.. Hmm.. when you can see.. check if your girlfriend has any slithering up her legs.. she might object less to that.


----------



## Mitchy

pull a flamer out of thin air because you are a sorceror so you can do that, and then burn the heck out of everything in the room


----------



## blazinvire

Your sword glows don't it? Hack whatever you landed on to bits, so maybe the next one will plummet to their death.
And I don't like slimy things so get off it immediately, brings back bad memories...


----------



## Col. Schafer

Obviously you landed on some nurgle stuff. Call up some BO or a good fart and it will be your friend.


----------



## TUBERStripple01

considering the big hounds name was fluffy and he was sitting on a pit that led down into a room full soft squishy stuff(this is souunding alot like the first harry potter book)
i think what you landed on is some kind of plant that is vulnerable to light, better cast some kind of light spell.


----------



## Mitchy

or, wait... it could be.... that would be so gross

if he was sitting on it, then it could be what Fluffy leaves behind when he needs to use the bathroom uke:


----------



## Col. Schafer

TUBERStripple01 said:


> considering the big hounds name was fluffy and he was sitting on a pit that led down into a room full soft squishy stuff(this is souunding alot like the first harry potter book)
> i think what you landed on is some kind of plant that is vulnerable to light, better cast some kind of light spell.


:Facepalm: That had better not have been intentional Tau :threaten:.

Anyway... I came up with a new idea! Try eating some to see if its radioactive and will give you super powers!


----------



## Mitchy

TUBERStripple01 said:


> considering the big hounds name was fluffy and he was sitting on a pit that led down into a room full soft squishy stuff(this is souunding alot like the first harry potter book)
> i think what you landed on is some kind of plant that is vulnerable to light, better cast some kind of light spell.



and dont panic, that will make it eat you


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Mitchy said:


> or, wait... it could be.... that would be so gross
> 
> if he was sitting on it, then it could be what Fluffy leaves behind when he needs to use the bathroom uke:


Ugh.. PLEASE Emperor, don't let it be we've just landed in Fluffy's toilet.. those things are bad enough WITHOUT having to know such details..


----------



## blazinvire

Ya know, considering this is a labyrinth made by the chaos gods, I wouldn't be surprised if the Emperor actually made this Fluffy's toilet.
I always did ponder the wisdom in actually jumping down here but I'm not the impulsive one.
Wait did I just see something shiny...?
Anyway, you need more incendiary psychic powers in your arsenal, doombolts are fun and all but who doesn't like a good ole fashion purgation?
Probably explains why I didn't mind the Sisters of Battle so much, they burnt more things than an angry berserker can get to with his axe, I admire their paranoia and tendency to set things on fire if it didn't look right.


----------



## Tau22

shok: DAAAAAAMN. I realised the similarity only now... F. FFFFFFF. Though, the name 'Fluffy' is just coincidencial, since I use the name for a couple other monstrous beasts in my works.)

At first, he was terrified by the 'toilet' thought. But then, some of the slimy stuff moved. Relieved that it probably wasn't what he thought it was, he drew his blade to summon a Horror as a substitute torch. But Nebulon suddebly said:
"Uhhhhh.... I think something's trying to digest my leg. With little success."
"It tickles, heheh."
"Okay, creeped out now." a horror daemon appeared and almost immediately jumped onto his head, trembling, "nervous. Okay, dimwit, give me a light."
The Horror raised its arm and a fireball appeared in it. The light illuminated the area around them and they saw small, bloated, green creatures, who were desperately trying to nom through Rakul's armour.

"Nurglings..."
"EWWWWWWW!!!"
Aunella started kicking the things, while Nebulon just slashed once with his axe. They were surrounded by at least thousands of the things.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


----------



## blazinvire

More daemons! Flood the whole pit with flamers! Jump around and stomp on the nurglings! I'm sure your armoured bulk will weigh enough to crush anything, though good luck getting the smell out of your armour...


----------



## Col. Schafer

Make yourself smell bad! They'll love you, MOAR DAEMONS TO CONTROL!!!


----------



## Android089

ya i think Col. Schafer is right if you smell bad the nurglings will love you
or they will think you are food and even more nurglings would come. oh that would be fun to see you fight a never-ending nurgling hoarde...


----------



## Mitchy

oh, i got a great idea, you still have those scooby snax or whatever right, so give those the the little dudes, then they will have found there new best friend


----------



## Inquisitor Einar

Yuck.. nearly as bad as the fluffy toilet..

Have your khorny friend and your girlfriend make some room here, make some yourself too, and deploy a bunch of those horrors, unleash their fire on the nurglings and burn em to a crisp, once their nearing the end of them, suck all your remaining horrors and any nurglings left into your sword to put it back to full strength.

BBQ time!


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## blazinvire

Hmm I was just thinking... Burning everything is an absolutely brilliant idea, except I'm pretty sure I tried burning a nurgling before... It wasn't pretty...
My respirator wasn't up to scratch and I nearly died from the fumes, not to mention some of them exploded to rival most frag grenades, thank the Emperor for Power Armour!


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## Inquisitor Einar

Yeah.. they can smell pretty bad.. normally the smell of holy promethium is strong enough to drown it out partially.. I guess we'll be in for a stinking fight.


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## Lord Lucius

NURGLE IS TZEENTCHES BIGEST ENEMY!!! kill with khorns furry and slaneshes exess! use the holocaust!!!


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## Inquisitor Einar

Say Rakul.. any chance you could throw some of these lunatics out of your head.. I feel the urge to go bash their brains in, but I got no hands, nor do they have any brains to smash..


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## Lord Lucius

or prehaps... nah, it couldnt work...but we are in the warp, could you conjure some disinfectant? if not ,burn the lot, hey that rhymes.

by the way, are you wishing you had sold your soul to slanesh yet?

or...they are nurgles children...! I know! sit down and tell them a story!

but then you realy should slay tzeentches enemys, just saying is all...


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## blazinvire

I'm sure there's something we can do, I mean we're in a psyker's mind, surely there must be implications for that. Let's see what this does...
_Bolt of Change!_
Hmm...
_Vortex of Doom!_
Hell with this
_Hadouken!_
Sigh... Maybe we can't do anything, how depressing, where's Slaanesh when you need it?


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## Tau22

"As much as I would want to, Inquisitor, they seem to be there. Stuck there. I sincerely hope this isn't permanent. Also, just yelling the spells name is useless."

"Nebulon, make me some room!"
"As you command, master!"
The Bloodletter champion started slashing continuously. Aunella's nails suddenly grew, forming many short blades, with which she aided, as well.
"Come, my servants!"
Horrors and Flamers appeared all around them and started fighting the Nurgling scourge.
But for every fallen nurgling, twenty more took its place.
"This is ridiculous, master!"
"Thank you, captain obvious!"
Rakul cut the little beasts into pieces and vaporised them with doombolts, but it seemed useless. There was too many.


******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

I'm not an inquisitor, never was, and if I ever get back myself, I never would be anyway, though I doubt I'm saintly material. Since your sword can suck up demons.. see howmany it can hold.. I mean.. if 999 demons makes it very badass.. whomuch more badass would it get with 9999 demons.. or 99999 demons in it..

If that doesn't work.. maybe getting back up to fluffy is a good idea.


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## blazinvire

Try standing up tall and shouting 'Stay back I have soap!'


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## Lord Lucius

9 to the power of nine daemons, worth a try? mind you those are filthy nurgle bastard spawn... USE SOAP!!! or daemon soap... conjure up some disinfectant... do it psycher, you know it makes sense


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## Android089

conjure up a rotten egg and throw it into the horde the nurglings should like the smell and waddle towards it giving you time to get away.


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## Tau22

"Devoted readers and commenters. I would like to appologise for my creator's laziness and general stupidity, again. We continue now."

The sorcerer felt as if time had stopped for a long while. Nonetheless, he had heard the voices. And those had a perfect plan. He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs:
"I HAAAAAAVE SOAAAAAAAAP!!!!!"
The entire horde stopped, their miniature eyes showed utter terror. Within seconds, the room was... empty, somehow.
"Where did the icky things go?"
"I don't know. And I don't care."
"Well said, master."
He looked around, the endless darkness overwhelming.
Which way, now?

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 eounds

******

What say you?


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## blazinvire

No really, where DID those nurgle guys go...?

So! Walk around in the darkness where nurgles came from, make a daemon ladder and get out of the hole, or fire a Doombolt meaninglessly into the darkness to see if you get a response?
Maybe you could yell up to Fluffy that you have a treat for him and toss a treat into the darkness? That is if he fits down the hole... but that's half the fun! It's like dangling a guardsman off a Rhino with a Khorne Berserker chasing it.

Or you could, you know, do the boring thing and see if anyone sees in the dark, could be safer 'n stuff... Got any matches...? Actually that might be a bad idea with the methane build up in this hole... Wait forget I said that, LIGHT A MATCH!!!!


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## unxpekted22

Erg....agh......Raaaahh...ah.. gah! FINALLY! I can get through!

Rakul!....Rakul!!! listen to me. Look how chaotic and random everything is. do you even remember where you are? Tzeentch has got your mind completely lost by throwing things at you that are influenced by all of the other chaos gods EXCEPT himself. its all illusion and he loves change so he keeps changing where you are so that you will forget where you _really_ are! if you keep going in such a manner your mind and soul will be lost to him forever, your on the brink of being eternally lost in the labyrinth of Tzeentch! when was the last time you checked your map???


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## blazinvire

Oh for the warp's sake... another one, even I'M getting confused now. And what are we supposed to be if not the aspect of Tzeentch's part in this labyrinth? I mean there's a freakin battle sister in here somewhere! And don't even ask what I am, you probably don't want to know.
Tzeentch messes with your head, I'd say me and my mind-dwelling companions here are going to drive Rakul insane someday so I consider this a job well done, let us all break out in song and make Rakul truly wish he were dead! Muahahaha!!!

Yeah yeah I know, you'd have to be insane to be a Chaos Marine anyway...
But why am I supposed to care?
No, YOU'RE the idiot...
What!!?? How dare you! DIE!
...
...
...
Huh... well that didn't work...


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## Lord Lucius

doesn't your helmet have infra red or something? plus , you'r in the warp, and you'r a psycher, dust go...wherever it is your supposed to go, distance and time and matter doesnt exist.


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## Inquisitor Einar

I thought only the Tau had that kind of stuff.. they're the ones that don't need lightbulbs.. bloody Xenos.. anyway.. checking your map might be a good idea.. whatever is on it..
Having a direction or whatever to go to might help in getting out of here.


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## Tau22

"Thanks, guys. I couldn't wish for better enemies..."

He figured, why not? So, he took out the map. As soon as he took out the piece of paper, walls shot from the ground beaneath them. They were now at a crossroad and the map said as much.
Letters appeared:
"To find your goal and gain your reward, you must traverse the labyrinth proper. May you die gloriously."

The darkness was still present and even the map showed only a small circle around their area. Oh, boy...
"Well, here we go again."

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


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## Inquisitor Einar

Ok, if this labyrinth doesn't change itself all the time.. I guess it's time for the 'right hand rule' or 'left hand rule', take your pic, i makes no big difference.. the idea is, take a right turn everywhere, eventually you will either end up in the same spot, having mapped out exactly a portion of the place. Or you find what you're looking for.
In this case. the exit.
There wouldn't happen to be any 'emergency exit' signs around here would there?
Building safety code says you need those.


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## blazinvire

Emergency Exit signs...? Who needs em? Unless maybe they're flashy...
How will you know if the right hand rule works or not? He'll probably walk off in one direction and appear behind where he started, or maybe he won't even have his hand on the same wall, or maybe he won't even figure out which way is right or left, maybe they're both directions at the same time?
Leave a trail of breadcrumbs, wait, blood, oo wait, body parts!

Screw traversing a maze, make the daemons in your sword find the exit, have a huge conga line and get them to all chant.

Is there a second floor to that map? Maybe you can cut a hole in the ground or the roof.

Or you could go back to basics: Doombolt EVERYTHING you see, when in doubt, Doombolt, you can never have enough Doombolts, no problem can withstand the stupidity of firing Doombolts at it, etcetera etcetera.

Wait a sec... did Tzeentch just say 'reward'...? For once I'm actually scared... Run away!


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## unxpekted22

the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round


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## Tau22

"Okay... let's go always right!"
All three went right and at every intersection, they turned right. In ten minutes, they were back at the same crossroad.
"Master?"
"I suppose left woulden't work... we could use exit signs..." flashing green signs appeared above every pathway, "I'm getting tired of his lame jokes."
"Hahahahahaaaaaah! You will never find a way!"
After a brief look at his map, he noticed the paths they had uncovered just now were not visible on it.
"Just great. Does this stupid thing actually think?"
"Yes." the Changer answered.

******

Inventory:
Strange map
Extra badass daemon blade
Boltpistol with 27 rounds

******

What say you?


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## blazinvire

Well if every pathway is an exit than you're already at the end, the Changer just shot himself in the foot.

Failing that, run in all directions randomly, maybe with your sword in the air screaming in case there's anything else here, if this is a Chaos built maze, then clearly it needs a chaotic path out of here, which means you gotta think like a crazy person, totally chaotic and-

Shiiiiiny.... Signs.... Shiiiiiiny.... ... ... ...


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## Inquisitor Einar

Fine.. different plan.. you have 999 demons, use them. Letting them out and having each one stand at a junction, you will be able to FORCE map this place, and you might be able to find a way out.. besides. he said YOU would never find a way.
Making a statement like that, I SO feel that he's making a joke out of it.. YOU won't find it. But someone else might.. say your girlfriend, or your khorne friend, or one of those 999 horrors you got in your sword.


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## marxalvia

This is starting to sound like the movie "Cube" with a WH40k twist. I would look both up and down for other doors, not just forwards, backwards, and sideways.


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## Mitchy

follow the signs...

pretty basic


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## Khorothis

Let all your Horrors out and make them tell jokes to the walls until they give up and show you where to leave the labyrinth. You might want to get some ear-plugs first though, since you'll go mad much faster than the walls.

Or failing that just step into the map, since if it doesn't show your progress then you're not where the depicted place is.


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## Inquisitor Einar

Since when did Horrors have any sense of humour? Seriously.. some of you are not just Waaay out there.. you're gone..


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## blazinvire

wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round...

That song's catchy!

Wait what's this? Some kinda battle sister is trying to tell an incredible entity of warp such as myself, that I'm more than insane? Well duh!
... What? Of course I'm insane, why else would I try and help this Rakul fellow?
... You idiot, you make no sense!
... Well maybe YOU'RE insane, yeah
... Pshaw I'm more insane than you, shut the hell up
... You're a freakin voice in my head, stop insulting me by calling me sane!!! I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!
... What the...? No, YOU'RE the voice in MY head, not the other way round
Man I gotta stop eating Slaanesh daemons, I think the drugs are getting to me...


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## Inquisitor Einar

Want me to say a prayer to the emperor for all of you?


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## Khorothis

Inquisitor Einar said:


> Since when did Horrors have any sense of humour? Seriously.. some of you are not just Waaay out there.. you're gone..


Horrors tell jokes to each other even in the heat of battle! :grin:
seriously, its in the codex...


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## Komrad

Khorothis said:


> Horrors tell jokes to each other even in the heat of battle! :grin:
> seriously, its in the codex...


-knock knock
-who's there?
-YOU DIE! -stabs face with stick
-haw haw, thats a gud'n


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## oblivion8

where once was pink now theres blues, where once was one now theres two!


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## brother william

greetings chap 

Old grandfarther sent me to see how you were going in this stupid maze thingy of cowardly blue thing. maybe you should try losing yourself to the maze again although it was confuseing and strange you seemed to be making more progress that way then using reason ............ oh look a new rash and this one itches :grin:


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## tadhg546

*whispers* maybe you should have a tea party?


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## Fumble Tumble

you guys are unsubtle at the least.... he obviously needs to say he doesnt really have soap, he just didnt want to be eaten. thus the nurglings will come out and they will all be friends and the nurglings would lead you out...... (not really this is a stupid options)

just do the khorne way and chop everything up with your fancy blade, dont we just love the khorne option


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