# 40k Innuendo



## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

Warhammer is a fun game, but it is a fun game often played by college age kids, whose mind automatically goes to the gutter at every opportunity. 

Well, I am pretty sure everyone has heard one or two funny things that lept from the mouth of some guy not watching what he's saying.

For example.

"I'll take one on the nob" (Boyz Mob Gettin' Shot)

"The tongue failed to penetrate" (Chaos Daemon Soul Grinder)


Childish? Yes, Stupid? Yes, but I'm pretty sure some of you heresy deviants can come up with a few that you've heard that are better then mine.


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## fynn (Sep 19, 2008)

the funniest ive heard was a 14 year old at my club against some sisters, and he said, "my captain is gona fist your cannoness"
i pissed myself laughing when i heard that


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## the Autarch (Aug 23, 2009)

"I'm going to shoot at your rear" nuff said


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## khorneflake (Jul 11, 2008)

"my Venom Cannon just penetrated your rear"

nuff said


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## ElTanko (Mar 4, 2010)

Its not even just inuendos in game. In one of the Eisenhorn books he states "I took him silently from behind"!! oo err!!

ElTanko


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## HiveMinder (Feb 8, 2010)

I always chuckle at the fact that the most common Tyranid biomorphs are sacs and glands.


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## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

Nothing beats,"Driving your Baals 18" into your opponents rear."


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## MJayC50 (Oct 30, 2007)

Best one i can think of...
"im going to lash your scouts...and assault them


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## Calamari (Feb 13, 2009)

My Nob penetrated your rear.

Fantasy is to blame aswell. While rolling my spells I shouted "I have burning head!"


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## Masked Jackal (Dec 16, 2009)

Lucius the Eternal penetrated your rear armour with his Rod of Torment.


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## Marneus Calgar (Dec 5, 2007)

I'm gonna *penetrate* your rear with my *'Ard* boyz.


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## chromedog (Oct 31, 2007)

'Old one eye' is going to penetrate your rear.

Old one eye being the tyranid character carnifex with regenerate (before they could all take it).


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## Varakir (Sep 2, 2009)

fynn said:


> the funniest ive heard was a 14 year old at my club against some sisters, and he said, "my captain is gona fist your cannoness"
> i pissed myself laughing when i heard that


If he'd said - "my captain is gonna fist your Sister", that could possibly be the best 40k quote of all time.


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## Cyklown (Feb 8, 2010)

Seriously? He asks for the best inuendos we've heard, and it's just round after round of anal fixation? The _same _anal fixation joke? At least Preacher was inventive when it hit that same theme over and over again.


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## Skull Harvester (Mar 7, 2010)

"My girl didn't tell me it was her time of the month and now I'm a Crimson Fist."


. . . . too far?


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## jams (Sep 19, 2009)

"there's 2 in range, so that's double-double penetration..."


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Blood for the Blood God!


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## buckythefly (Mar 16, 2009)

how about "No your walker can't turn to face my shooting, I hit the rear"


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## the Autarch (Aug 23, 2009)

Cyklown said:


> Seriously? He asks for the best inuendos we've heard, and it's just round after round of anal fixation? The _same _anal fixation joke? At least Preacher was inventive when it hit that same theme over and over again.


i was 1st :biggrin:


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

OOOH, I have one!

First rank, FIRE!
Second rank, FIRE!


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## Kale Hellas (Aug 26, 2009)

"your ork warlords rod just broke"
"i can't believe that sister took all that punishment"
"you just got penetrated seven times"

and thats just in one battle


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## VanitusMalus (Jun 27, 2009)

succubus.....


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## fynn (Sep 19, 2008)

from a battle rep i once read "i sent my scouts to prob his rear", and "my termie squad (power)fisted his ork warboss bigtime"


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

fynn said:


> from a battle rep i once read "i sent my scouts to prob his rear", and "my termie squad (power)fisted his ork warboss bigtime"


Those were almost certainly intended though


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

My friends point out that toxin sacs looks like nuts. 
My hive tyrant doesn't have a venom cannon, but a "Piss Cannon", thanks to the box art.
Scouts Pen with their LongBarreled Rifles.


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## HiveMinder (Feb 8, 2010)

Along those lines, one of the Carnifex heads looks like he's got balls on his chin.

And just for good measure, "That penetration wrecked you."


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## Azkaellon (Jun 23, 2009)

Kale Hellas said:


> "your ork warlords rod just broke"
> "i can't believe that sister took all that punishment"
> "you just got penetrated seven times"
> 
> and thats just in one battle


Well that save's you time man....Now you know just to assume the Position before each game.

As for er...Odd chats iv had during games.....

"Tyranids vs sisters"

"Me:My Lictor Eats your sister with power fist, and the gaunts eat the rest of your squad *insert token 13 year old kids watching the game and laughing here* Other player:Why did you have to eat my sisters so much? did they taste juicy or something??? *13 year old kids laughing hard* Me:um...just stop speaking now for the love of god..... Opponent:*oblivious to laughter for some reason* No really WHY DO YOUR CREATURES KEEP TEARING APART MY SISTERS AND EATING THEM SO MUCH"

Safe to say he yelled that last part................

....
...
..

It was funny when what i assume was his sister was standing behind him wide eyed with a "What the fuck?" look on her face......


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Witch King of Angmar said:


> It was funny when what i assume was his sister was standing behind him wide eyed with a "What the fuck?" look on her face......


That made it good :laugh:


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## Azkaellon (Jun 23, 2009)

Winterous said:


> That made it good :laugh:


she was cute to..........sadly this is back when i first started playing and i never see the guy anymore.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Witch King of Angmar said:


> she was cute to..........sadly this is back when i first started playing and i never see the guy anymore.


That's why every man should have a cybernetic HUD which automatically identifies the full name and mobile phone number of every girl they ever see.
:so_happy:


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## Azkaellon (Jun 23, 2009)

Winterous said:


> That's why every man should have a cybernetic HUD which automatically identifies the full name and mobile phone number of every girl they ever see.
> :so_happy:


Yes but then we would never see the following people again

Ploss
Witch King of Angmar
Winterous


Wait...that might be good for the forum.....but then who will drink all the net booze?


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Witch King of Angmar said:


> Yes but then we would never see the following people again


I don't understand. :dunno:


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