# The Writer's Circle – Week #10 [Tips on Openings]



## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

The Writer's Circle – Week #10 [Tips on Openings]

Welcome everyone to week #10 of the Writer's Circle. Today I have a very short “article” for you all called, “Quick and dirty tricks for writing an opening that captivates.” Written by Jessica Page Morrell, it is an excerpt from her book, “Thanks, but This Isn't for Us: A (Sort Of) Compassionate Guide to Why Your Writing is Being Rejected.” Lets get started shall we!



> Quick and dirty tricks for writing an opening that captivates
> by: Jessica Page Morrell
> 
> USE SPECIFIC, sensory details so that readers land smack dab in another place beyond their ordinary lives.
> ...


Alright, now what we have here is a very short list of the things you should try and focus on when you are writing your beginnings. As stated above, what readers really want is to be pulled into your story. They want to experience it like they are standing right there. They want to hold their breath when its uncertain your protagonist will survive. Readers subconsciously rely on that “hook” to keep them interested. If there is no hook near your opening, or in your opening, the readers will put your book/story down and move on. If you want your work to be read, that isn't a good thing. However, bear in mind that that here on Heresy, we are very understanding, and realize that there are many of you who are not familiar with applying some of these tactics. However, it takes time and practice to get these things down on paper in a way that works. Just write the story the way you believe it should sound. That is what really matters. We aren't a publishing company that is looking to reject anyone. No, quite the opposite, we encourage the learning experience that is writing and love reading every single story that shows up on Heresy's pages. My suggestion would be to print this post out and keep it near you. It is a short list of things that can be very important when it comes to writing you opening for your story. Perhaps whip out a fluorescent marker and highlight certain things that you think you need to improve on. 

OK, just a few questions this week,

1. was this article helpful?

2.Did anything stand out to you as something you will try in the future?

3.Do you agree with the ideas presented in this excerpt?

4.If not, what is it that you disagree with, and why?


Thanks a bunch for stopping by for Week #10 of the Writer's Circle! :drinks: Cheers to a successful 10 weeks so far! And here's to 10 more :grin:!

Write on,

Commissar Ploss


----------



## Svartmetall (Jun 16, 2008)

The best analogy I can give on this one is from the years I spent as a radio DJ while I lived in Wales. I used to get sent tons of CDs of stuff from record labels, and having to sift through them all to find stuff started taking up more and more time; in the end I found myself listening to the first 30 seconds of the first 3 tracks of a new album when it was someone I'd never heard of and couldn't just automatically be sure it'd be right for my show. If an album hadn't grabbed me by then, it went in the bin. It sounds awful - I have an album out myself, and I'd have been gutted if I thought someone had listened to the first 30 seconds of 3 of my compositions then binned it - but that's what almost all DJs end up doing, or they'd never have time to do anything else. In the same way, the original post is spot on. If you haven't grabbed someone with your first paragraph, they'll go off and do something else. 

Some examples from my own work: 
1) For the opening of '*Incursion*', I went for the time-honoured 'fragment of a recorded item' approach, where the perspective of seeing things at one remove from the narrative angle of a story is in itself the point of interest. 

2) In '*Nightwatch*', on the other hand, I went for the contrast between a fairly poetic opening few lines and the prosaic earthiness of the opening line of dialogue - "Bollocks!" - as a way of generating interest. 

3) Here are the opening lines of an as-yet-untitled 'Hellraiser'-universe story I've been working on, on and off, for a while; I've always found the psychology of the Cenobites and those who fall into their hands fascinating. Here I'm using a contrast between amiable dialogue and present-tense prose describing fairly unpleasant stuff as a means to provoke the mind's eye straight away:

“Why, what a delightful soul you possess, Michael! I look forward to exploring every nook and cranny of it with you.”
_The jagged black hooks pull further at his extremities, stretching the skin to breaking point all over the ruin of his body. He does not know whether he should scream or laugh. Perhaps the two are indivisible. Perhaps they have always been one and the same._ 
“After all the things you have done to get here…so fitting that we should travel the nether regions of who you really are together, don’t you think?”
_The Cenobite’s smile is the perfect counterpoint to the seditious whisper of tearing flesh._



_____


----------



## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

Very interesting! Thank you for taking the time to craft such a reply! I agree, if the first 30 seconds of a song doesn't grab my attention, its bye bye see you later. Next song. And the same thing goes for books, if its a dull, sluggish opening, what's to say the rest of the book wont be that way. Since you gave your examples of your openings i might as well give some as well. 

From _*At the End of All Things*_ i crafted an opening that put the reader right beside the character, as if you are waking up beside him. 



> Waking from the daemon-grip of death’s hands is never a welcome instance. Being the only one to do so, is even less.
> 
> Gazing through the cracked lenses of his helmet, brother Vicarus viewed the world as a grey haze. A faint rasp emitted from his augmetic voice box as he realized he had just tried to chuckle. Viewing the sky above him from the bottom of an impact crater all too ironically displayed the gravity of the situation. The air was acrid with the smell of burning promethium and the stench of boiled flesh, ...


From my new novel "The Ghost of Iron," of which the Prologue and first chapter are posted here(can be found on my userpage), i used the Prologue as the hook here;



Commissar Ploss said:


> “Shotgun, this is X-Ray. Four Niner, you are clear for pitch pull, over.”
> 
> “Roger X-Ray. Pitch Pull in thirty, over.”
> 
> ...


And then that continues on to the first chapter, which can also be found on my userpage. Just follow the link in my sig called "The Lair of the FAN FICTION KING."

And now, i have been working on back story for the Iron Diamonds and subsequently for Brother Vicarus. 

Below is a piece that i have been working on for a while now. It is heretofore UNPUBLISHED 'cause its not done. lol Just to let everyone know it might be available soon, it might not be. who knows. Let me know what you think of it. 

Anyways, here i use a mysterious beginning style that grabs the readers interest by slowly revealing the details of who i am talking about. However, i do it smoothly, and not bits here and there. take a look.



> The woods were quiet. Eerie beams of light shone through the humid canopy in sections to spotlight the forest floor below. Things were missing. Things that made the silence lay upon the wood like a blanket, covering everything. The native fauna had either gone silent or completely disappeared, for there were no discernible signs that they were there. There was no breeze to be felt. The air was stagnant and warm, as if afraid to move.
> 
> Hidden amongst the thorns and bracken, a pair of eyes scan the forest 180 degrees. Other than the vegetation, his helmet display shows no signs of life. He knows to be wary. For that was how he was trained. He is a merchant of death. His hands and arms sheathed in gauntlets of black adamantium, his chest and legs cased in ceremite plates of the same. His helmet, also black and crested with golden laurels, bears a red stripe down the middle from back to front. In his left hand he holds a weapon of divine power. A holy weapon that aids him in his judgment of other. From its aperture spews bolts of incandescent plasma. Encasing his right, humming quietly, is a most sacred artefact. Passed down over three hundred years and witness to one thousand campaigns, it is a weapon of awesome power. Only given to those deemed worthy, it is a black iron fist four times the size of his hand and bares four claws. Each crackling with blue bolts of energy. Equally capable of flenzing flesh from bone as gashing a battle tank like a knife slicing the air, it has done both many times. It is 'the hand that slew one thousand Orks.' To the one who bares it, it is the right hand of Angarius, his dead homeland. It bares the souls of all those dead and gone. Many of those his brothers. For he is Brother-Sergent Lucian Vicarus, and he is a Space Marine. His shoulder plates bare the symbol of his chapter. It is a grey diamond, plain and glorious. He is a soldier of the Iron Diamond.


These are just some examples of the types of openings that i use in my writing. I'm trying new things all the time, but each time i do, i make sure that it grabs the readers attention somehow. That is always necessary. remember that.

write on,

Commissar Ploss


----------



## IntereoVivo (Jul 14, 2009)

Jessica Page Morrell hits the nail on the head when she says, "A beginning must intrigue, but that doesn't mean it must shock, titillate, or manipulate the reader."

Too often people try to shock their reader when a quieter, more thought provoking opening might be more appropriate. Granted, the 40k universe is quite shocking which makes such openings more then acceptable, it is still worth remembering that seduction is almost always a better way to ensnare a reader (especially considering the growing immunity to shock tactics due to an over-saturation in the media).

I prefer openings that get the reader asking a question, pulling them in and making them engage so it is harder to drop the story. No less important, as Jessica Page Morrell pointed out, is giving the reader a clear understanding of where the events are taking place so that they have a comfortable frame of reference. When that frame is lacking or doesn't comfortably fit, the reader tends to be distracted and is more likely to put the story down.

Looking forward to reading and learning with you.


----------

