# The Trouble With Gifts- a 30k RP



## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Okay, before we start I have one warning- this RP is insane. It was made for sh*ts and giggles so will make no sense whatsoever; don’t come here expecting grimdark adventures or touching heroics. ‘cos there isn’t any. Above all, it is lighter and fluffier than a well-made soufflé, with laughter and joking and for God’s sake the Emperor of Mankind is being played by an eighteen-year-old girl with Asperger’s Syndrome who can’t act for toffee… 

You have been warned. Tread carefully, for here be crossovers.

(And dragons, but mainly crossovers.)
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It started with a present.

Every beloved leader gets them. Abe Lincoln’s closets were full of lovingly-made trinkets from all over the USA, each one a testament to hundreds of hours of labour and effort; each one looked at probably once before being stuffed in the back of a wardrobe with all the rest. And he was the ruler of just one country on one world, so imagine the effort people went to please and show their devotion to the ruler of nearly an entire galaxy…

Most of them, like most things sent to anyone important, never even got close to their destination. They were either lost, destroyed as ‘security risks’ or simply nicked in the hope that the Emperor wouldn’t miss what he never had. There were presents sent by (overly) loyal Imperial citizens and presents sent by scared Imperial citizens hoping to show just how (overly) loyal they were, honest. There were assassination attempts, mistaken identities and- most strange of all- letters sent by small children; apparently, due to a breakdown in communications, there was an entire planet full of people out there who thought that the Emperor of Mankind was the Second Coming of someone called Saint Nick. No matter what was said to the contrary, hopeful toddlers still kept on badgering humanity’s supreme leader for a shiny red tricycle and a pony- a pink one. It was worse than the God-Emperor cult- at least Logar didn’t write in crayon or cover his holy tracks in glitter.

In was nothing short of a miracle, then, that this particular gift managed to find its way to the Emperor; according to the records, it had arrived some ten years ago, and was discovered during a tri-monthly clear-up on the Supreme Imperial Postal Offices. It appeared to be an ornamental lamp, made of china-smooth plastic and letting out a powerful glow. The discoverer of the ‘lamp’ turned it over and over in his hands, noting the shining gold that decorated the pure white surface and the pleasant warmth it gave off. It was put on the ‘keep’ pile, and found itself used as part of the vast Imperial Palace’s vast lighting network.

Until the Emperor himself happened to pass that way and noticed two things- one, that it now had crack that certainly hadn’t been there before and, two, that the lamp appeared to be alive and had a definite Warp presence. 

It was taken from its post and borne off to the Imperial labs, where it was poked and prodded with the best poking and prodding machines the Imperium could supply. Scientists scanned the egg with X-rays, Y-rays and Sting-Rays; they watched the cracks grow and spread on its, coming to one (rather obvious) conclusion- that the lamp was, in fact, an egg.

A conclusion that was proved right it dramatic fashion when the ‘lamp’ hatched, revealing what appeared to be a very small deer-like animal with a belt around its waist; it was as gold and white as the egg it came from, it’s psychic power obvious to anyone with a smidgen of Warp-sense. The creature’s intelligence was also obvious, even if it couldn’t speak- it was only an animal, after all. After much debate- which ended immediately after the Emperor put in his two pence, because nobody argued with the Emperor- it was decided that the animal should be studied, for now. The creature’s abilities could prove useful to humanity’s cause, but if it showed a single sign of turning on it’s masters, no mercy would be shown.

It was also decided that the creature be called Arceus, for that was its name.

That seemed to be the end of the matter, until- by various means, both fair and foul- similar but different eggs found their way to the Emperor’s sons, the Primarchs themselves. Horus’ was a black one with red eyes and an unsettling aura. Magnus was close to hatching one that was grey and purple, letting off a lilac aura and a somewhat irritated air. Vulcan received one that let off heat like a furnace, the patterns of red and yellow seeming to form a face. Fulgrim used a bright purple egg with a moon-like decoration as a lamp in his quarters, while his close friend Ferrus Manus was pleasantly puzzled by a steel-like object that seemed both metal and alive. It didn’t seem like any of the others had received one, but it was surely only a matter of time…

The eggs were one of the biggest mysteries that faced the Imperium at the time, with a thousand questions on a thousand lips. 

What were they to do with them- destroy the creatures that emerged, or use them as weapons in humanity’s war? 

Where did they come from, why had they been sent? 

What was to be made of reports of two oddly-dressed people and their talking cat that came in from every corner of the Imperium?

And- more importantly- how did we get ourselves into this mess?


Click link for CLARITY, yes yes- http://firechao.com/gpx_plus_ledgendaries_eggs_eggdex.shtml


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

*Rules:*
1. The first rule of fight club is never to talk about fight club.

2. This is a swear-free, violence-minimum zone. Insanity, on the other hand, is a must.

3. Follow all the other rules about godmodding, powerplaying and all that...

4. I am da Emprah. Respect mah authoritah!

5. If you wanna join, just put down who you wanna be, and what egg you got. No forms or nuthin', just impress me. Perhaps add a little RP sample? 

6. Oh, and this may be insanity but make sure your posts can actually be read and make some sort of sense. Good spelling and grammar make me happy.

*Setting:* 
We'll all be going to Terra. Eventually. Start wherever you want- on a flagship maybe. Go nuts.

*Peoples:* 
The I-Am-Not-A-God Emperor Of All Mankind And The Imperium Of Man- BSF, aka me. A senior member, go me.
Taco Johnson, An Astartes Of The Made Type And The Hippy Bent- SonOfStan.

*How Many People Have We Scared:*
None, yet.


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## Necrogorewizard (Sep 13, 2011)

Lol, count me in, I'll post a character when I get a chance today!


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Excellent!  I look forward to it...


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Insanity - you bought me when I saw the word although I didn't read anything else yet except that word. I will possibly throw a character in just for the sake of it.

Reminds me of my friend's RP which translates as "The only sane." Make out whatever you want from this name but I feel that I need to say that it consisted of chickens taking over a supermarket.

Edit: "hopeful toddlers still kept on badgering humanity’s supreme leader for a shiny red tricycle and a pony- a pink one." ROFL XD

Edit2: "Scientists scanned the egg with X-rays, Y-rays and Sting-Rays" lol


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Thank you... I eagerly await both your and Necro's characters, so we can get this flying circus on the road. (Yes- I love Monty Python, and Sir Terry Pratchett. They've rubbed off on me more than a little, as shown by my descion to crash Pokemon into 30k...)

Also, chickens in a supermarket sounds pretty awesome. :biggrin:


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Ah those were the days  Babies falling from the sky, clown throwing pies (as in the pies threw the clowns), etc...

Anyway, I'd like to know what exactly do you want me to write as a character form.

Also, Monty python is awesome  Sadly I read only Terry pratchett's Mort which was obviously especially funny.


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Not much of a form is required, really. Just say who you want to play- it doesn't have to be a Primarch, you can be a high-up Marine, a scientist, or even a rememberancer-, what egg they have if they have one, and maybe a few lines about how they got it. It could even be a short roleplay sample, if you want.

It's just to decided who gets who and who gets in, to be honest- a sort of quick writing test.


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Ah sure. I'll think of something.


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## Euphrati (May 24, 2009)

As much as I loathe being a naysayer to creative works, this seems more fitting for the humour section than a true in-character roleplay.

The concept is lighthearted for sure, but I'm having a bit of a difficult time envisioning the actually _roleplaying_ aspect of this. Perhaps it is my age showing in this regard, or that I tend to take my gaming as an adult on the more seriously side of things. All in all I guess it is up to Darkreever in the final respects, though perhaps the addition of a sub-forum to the roleplaying section where the more humourous threads could run about like four year olds on a sugar-high might be an option as well...


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Euphrati said:


> As much as I loathe being a naysayer to creative works, this seems more fitting for the humour section than a true in-character roleplay.
> 
> The concept is lighthearted for sure, but I'm having a bit of a difficult time envisioning the actually _roleplaying_ aspect of this. Perhaps it is my age showing in this regard, or that I tend to take my gaming as an adult on the more seriously side of things. All in all I guess it is up to Darkreever in the final respects, though perhaps the addition of a sub-forum to the roleplaying section where the more humourous threads could run about like four year olds on a sugar-high might be an option as well...


Don't be evil. There is nothing wrong with a lighthearted RP as long as it is an RP.

I don't think that there is an actual need for a subforum for this because I don't think we saw here too many humorous rps but I might be mistaken though, after all I joined only a year ago.


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Humour section? I'm sorry, but I didn't know that existed; if I had, perhaps I would have put it there rather than here... Hrm. As it is, this was the only section I knew of that you could put roleplays in and not break the rules.

As for the actual RPing aspect, well... Basically whatever characters are actually created are trying to work out where the eggs came from, what they are and what do to with them. The eventual goal is to find the egg's homeworld. There will be interactions with other Primarchs, scientists, Marines, civilians, perhaps a bit of training and sparring thrown in to show off... I could even go serious and add a fight or two.

Basically, it's a family drama in space with superpowered animals thrown in.


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Bah, cant think of any character atm some sort of a damn block. I'll wait for others to post and maybe I'll be enlightened.

BTW, how many players are you looking for?


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

About... More than four and less than fifteen, if that makes sense.


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

lol, fine, then minimum of 4.


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## SonOfStan (Feb 20, 2011)

Name: Taco Johnson

Gender: Male

Occupation: Adeptus Astartes

Appearance: Taco is seven feet tall with bright pink hair and a rainbow unicorn electoo on his right butt-cheek. His lower lip is constantly bulging with a tremendous amount of the 30K equivalent of Copenhagen, and he adorns his armor with the skulls he found at a local prop shop.

Summary: It's well known that the Adeptus Astartes are the greatest defenders of Humanity in existence. Propaganda films depict them as the penultimate heroes, soldiers without peer, men without fear, utterly incapable of something as pathetic as failure. The people of the Imperium look to them as the tip of the spear of the Great Crusade, and billions of Imperial citizens consider them to be demi-gods of war.

Thankfully, the Imperium doesn't know anything about Space Marines like Taco Johnson (if there are indeed any more) While most Space Marines are normally recruited from wild, feral worlds, Taco was accidentally recruited from the planet of Miami IX, where he had previously enjoyed life smoking the local plant and drinking a tremendous amount of alcohol. Taco managed to stumble his way through the Trials, surviving through cowardice and sheer dumb luck (which his instructors often mistook for skill) 

It wasn't until the gene-seed was implanted that his parent Legion realized something was horrifically wrong. The new recruit was certainly enthusiastic, always ready to charge against the enemies of Mankind with a shout to the Emperor on his lips. Unfortuantely, it appeared as though the many surgeries he had endured had left some rather unforseen side affects. Taco seemed convinced that losing was winning, cheering loudly each time he was shot, declaring that he had been victorious in every sparring bout that ended him with being stabbed. While most of his battle brothers wore purity scrolls, Taco used Crayola crayons and cardboard to adorn his armor with pictures of kitty cats and puppies. His aggression was met only by his incompetence and complete inability to do anything correct.

Deciding that he was too funny to be simply killed or turned into a servitor, and not wanting to take any kind of responsibility for his creation, his parent Legion erased his memory and cast him adrift in an escape pod...which was eventually picked up by a shuttle carrying gifts to the Immortal Emperor of Mankind.


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Hum, okay... :shok: A little TOO crazy for my tastes but, eh, I'm the one giving the Emperor an Arceus egg.

It'd be interesting to see what you do with him.

*wonders if it would be rude to ask you to tone him down a bit*


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## SonOfStan (Feb 20, 2011)

TOO crazy? Haha, really? I mean, I absolutely don't care, I'll mold my character to fit the RP. I just thought we were going Monty Python/Discworld with this whole thing, hence the unicorn tattoos and brain-washery. What should I tone down in particular?


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

He just... Sorry if I sound like a complete jerk, but he doesn't sound like he could even hold a coherant conversation, and I have a pet hate of drugs use in real life which extends to my RPs. I'm fine with mad Astartes- heck, I have Damien Hurst the utterly insane Ultramarine- but I also believe they should be warrior types. A mad hippy warrior, yes, but a warrior all the same.

I like the pink hair, though.


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## SonOfStan (Feb 20, 2011)

Black Steel Feathers said:


> He just... Sorry if I sound like a complete jerk, but he doesn't sound like he could even hold a coherant conversation, and I have a pet hate of drugs use in real life which extends to my RPs. I'm fine with mad Astartes- heck, I have Damien Hurst the utterly insane Ultramarine- but I also believe they should be warrior types. A mad hippy warrior, yes, but a warrior all the same.
> 
> I like the pink hair, though.


Haha, he isn't THAT bad. In hindsight I probably should have included an RP example. He's just very loyal, very compassionate, very dedicated to the Emperor, very brave...and really, really bad at things like accurately shooting a bolter or correctly utilizing a chainsword or remembering passwords or what time to show up for Company muster. Most of the good he accomplishes is completely unintentional, and though he's managed to kill/survive his fair share of bad guys, it's usually through sheer dumb luck and in spite of himself.

This ain't my first rodeo. :biggrin: I never play characters that are annoying or useless. But hey, if still isn't your particular brand of crazy, I can remove the crayola references.


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Ah, I see. Now that you've explained him a bit more, I actually kinda like him. He souds fun. Yeah, he can decorate his armour, just not with Crayola or with puppies and kittens. 

Okay, we have character number two! O3O


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## SonOfStan (Feb 20, 2011)

Black Steel Feathers said:


> Ah, I see. Now that you've explained him a bit more, I actually kinda like him. He souds fun. Yeah, he can decorate his armour, just not with Crayola or with puppies and kittens.
> 
> Okay, we have character number two! O3O


Glad we made it through this haha.


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