# Lorgar Finds The Word! And The Word Is...



## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

_A vast ship- the Word Bearer's flagship, to be precise- floating somewhere in the void of space. Zoom in, then cut to a scene inside; a large and richly decorative room, dominated by a large table and the presance of four Primarchs- Magnus, Fulgrim, Vulkan and the Warmaster Horus himself. They're sipping drinks, looking a little nervous and rather bored. They've obviously been kept waiting._

Vulkan: _(making small talk) _I'm surprised you came, brother- it's rare that you leave Prospero nowadays.

Magnus: _(slightly annoyed, raised eyebrow) _Are you suggesting that I shouldn't have come? That I'm not welcome?

Horus: Of course he wasn't, brother. He was pleasantly surprised, just like the rest of us. Weren't we?

_Fulgrim only nods, having stuffed his face full of bite-sized goodies. _

Vulkan: By the way, Fulgrim, do leave some of them for us. I'd been planning to try those chili olives before you ate them all...

Fulgrim: Ooo shnooze, Oo looshe, brubba.

Magnus: _(quietly) _Dis-gusting. _(louder) _You might want to take this napkin before you choke...

Fulgrim: Oi'm ot onna shoke!

_At this moment, Lorgar enters suddenly. Horus and Vulkan jump; Fulgrim starts choking. Magnus hands him the napkin, smiling smugly._

Lorgar: Brothers! I'm so glad you could all come! 

_He's happy. Very happy. Creepily happy, in fact._

Vulkan: _(quietly, to Horus) _Is he wearing a... chicken?!

_And so he is. Curious._

Fulgrim: _(still choking) _Heh-ello, brother... Ni-nice... accessories.

Lorgar: _(practically purring) _Thank you... Now, you've probably all been wondering why I've brought you all here. The thing is, I have found something wonderful- something that will change the course of the Imperium's history... Something I wanted to share with you...

_The soud of mass lack of enthusiasm._

Magnus: I warn you, Lorgar- if it's the whole 'Daddy's A God' thing again, I will be forced to turn you into a wombat.

Lorgar: _(obviously not put off in the least) _Oh no, Magnus. It's not that. It's better than that... Oh, you are going to love this! Even Father will love this, and he hardly loves anything I do- it's like he-

Vulkan: _(impatiently cutting him off) _Well, what are you waiting for? Spit it out!

Magnus: _(suddenly worried) _Uh-oh...

Lorgar: Patience is a virtue, brother, but I agree... I'll tell you. You see, after years of research and travel all over the galaxy, I have finally found it... The Word. The Word that is the true Word that my Word Bearers were made to bear. I had always wondered about it's true nature, and at last I have found it...

Horus: _(obviously interested) _And you're going to tell us the Word?

Lorgar: Yes! You see, I have found that...

Magnus: _(even more worried) _I don't like where this is going...

Lorgar: I have found that the Bird is the Word. And I have made it my life's duty to educate those who do not know that the Bird is the Word- and hopefully, after this meeting, you will too.

_There's a pause more pregnant that a mother with quads two weeks after her due date._

H, F, V: _(horrified howl) _WHHHHHHAAAAAT?!

M: I should have seen THIS one coming... Stupid Magic 8 ball...

Lorgar: Don't you see, brothers? The Bird Is The Word! The Bird, Bird, Bird- The Bird Is The Word! The Bird, Bird, Bird- The Bird Is The Word!

Fulgrim: Brothers, I think we should leave. Now.

_Horus and co look at Lorgar, who's now waving his arms around like madman._

Lorgar: _(at the top of his lungs) _HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE BIRD? THE BIRD, BIRD, BIRD- THE BIRD IS THE WORD! I SAID-AH, THE BIRD, BIRD, BIRD- THE BIRD IS THE WORD! 

Vulkan: RUN AWAY!

_The rest of the Primarchs flee, hands over their ears and spirits broken. They don't care who sees them, and bundle into their ship as fast as they can._

Horus: Well, that was horrible...

Vulkan: You know what's going to be horrible? Explaining this to Father!

Horus: It's not our fault. He's obviously gone off the deep end without any armbands.

Magnus: _(traumatised)_ I thought he'd gone to Chaos- I could have coped with Chaos- but not this! NOT THIS!

Horus: _(soothe, soothe, pat, pat, rub, rub) _There, there, brother... It'll be over soon. You'll be okay. You hear me? You'll be okay.

_Magnus nods weakly. There's silence for a while, then Fulgrim is heard to hum._

Fulgrim: _(under his breath) _The Bird, Bird, Bird- The Bird Is The Word...

H, V, M: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


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## Gluttoniser (Aug 14, 2010)

I lol'd. Fun stuff!


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## Haskanael (Jul 5, 2011)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL fucking hell i read this in class and fell of my chair laughing ... now they all think im crazy.


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## komanko (May 16, 2010)

Nicely done. It was funny and entertaining


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Thank you everyone, for the comments and the reps...

You do know I love you and stuff, right? :biggrin:


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## spanner94ezekiel (Jan 6, 2011)

But I was under the impression _everyone_ had heard... even the farest reachest of the lowliest tendril of Hive Fleet Leviathan.

+rep


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Because of your PM, I had to add something... I won't be able to get it out of my head until I write it down!

_Lord Fulgrim is sitting in a normal sitting room, in front of a piano; pictures of Lucifer and Tarvitz are visible behind him. He plays a few notes, then lauches into a song._

Fulgrim: _(sings)_ It seems today, that all you see
Is heresy in picters and xenos on TV.

Horus: _(appears, also singing)_ But where are those good old-fashioned values,
On which we used to rely?

_The rest of the Primarchs appear, all dressed up in white tie and tails- and top hats, for some reason. The scene changes to a stage, all dance._

All: The Emperor is a family guy!
The Emperor is a family guy!
The Emperor is a man who
posatively can do
all the things to help us purge those scum!

_And here comes the Emperor himself, in a tuxedo._

All: He's! A! Family! Guuuuuuuuuuuuuy!

_Exit stage left, pursued by bear._


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## gothik (May 29, 2010)

knocked the cat off my lap as i was reading this i laughed that much lol brilliant


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## Black Steel Feathers (Aug 17, 2011)

Again, thank you! :thank_you:


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