# Sanguine Dreams, a (very) short story



## teh1337llama (May 16, 2009)

I ran, flew over the cracked ground. Towards death. My enemy’s. My own. I could feel the wind in my wings; I could hear my jump pack’s roar cut through the cold, dry air. Bolters roared, muffling the screams of the wounded. Glancing around, I could see my comrades. They were clad in black armor. I didn’t recognize them. I shot through the air, thinking, remembering.

I was back on Baal. My soldiers were kneeling before me, honoring me. I was their master, their leader. I was a demigod. There were a thousand of them, all with a primarch’s gene-seed. All with mine. I closed my eyes, spreading my wings, relishing the warmth of the sun.

Traitors and Daemons alike surged forth, coming to meet us. We waited with quiet anticipation. I shouted the order to fire, and thousands of bolters unloaded upon them. Shouting a battle cry, I flew headlong into the horde, spear and sword in hand.

Horus laughed at me. “That the best you can do, weakling?” His face was twisted, a warped remnant of what had been once.

Our blades met. He was stronger. He pushed me back, lashing out at my mind with the power of chaos. I felt burning anger. Sanguinius was, had been, calm, yet determined.

I could see him beside me. The Blade Encarmine was clutched in his right hand, the Spear of Tolesto in his left. He wore a gentle smile on his fair face. His blood red armor shone in the harsh sun. His wings flapped gently, keeping him at pace with me.

My eyes shot open, a blazing fury in them. My jump pack roared; my wings were spread wide. With a roar of fury Sanguinius, I, we, threw myself unto my enemies, bolt pistol and chainsword, spear and sword, in hand.

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Is it any good? This is my first 40k story that I've actually liked enough to post up here.

EDIT- Oh, and please tell me if i got any fluff stuff wrong.


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

Uhmmm I got confused after their blades met... Didn't know who was talking or who was telling the story...


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## dark angel (Jun 11, 2008)

> I could feel the wind in my wings; I could hear my jump pack’s roar cut through the cold, dry air.


 If he has wings why does he need a jump pack?


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## teh1337llama (May 16, 2009)

Wow i made it much too confusing... i can see that. Hm. Well thanks for commenting, at least!


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## The Hellforger (Jul 6, 2009)

it was good

he was talking about the red rage you guys


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

But still... he should have made it clear as to who was talking...


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## teh1337llama (May 16, 2009)

Yeah, it's about the black rage. Sorry that its insanely confusing. In retrospect, I'm surprised someone understood it. It's all one person talking the whole time. Sanguinius' memories and consciousness are in his mind; in the part about the wings, they're sanguinius'. He half thinks he's sanguinius.


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## The Hellforger (Jul 6, 2009)

i win! no more cold beans for me


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

Oh... So that's explains everything... But in the end.. it was still confusing... Word of advice... Don't confuse the readers... A few will maybe understand what you were writing about... but what's the use if the majority doesn't?...


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## teh1337llama (May 16, 2009)

Mm... to please myself?


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## Farseer Beltiac (Jul 11, 2008)

It was a good story...beside a few mistakes in the 1st person view but fix those, repost and you've got an interesting story for Sanguinus. 

~Beltiac


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## Thuellai (Jul 15, 2009)

It's not about Sanguinus. It's about a Blood Angel going through the rage and having memories of Sanguinus flash through his head, so that he's confused as to whether he's himself and Sanguinus - thus the stuff where, for example, he feels wind on his wings at the same time as he hears his jump pack activate.


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## primeministersinsiter (May 31, 2009)

I like little stories like that. You do switch narrative perspectives a little bit near the end, but keep writing my good fellow.


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## teh1337llama (May 16, 2009)

Thanks for all the support and suggestions. I can't pinpoint some of the errors that have been pointed out, so it would be great if you could include a quote with it.


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

Ok... A wierd reply...


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## Brother Selacious (Jul 12, 2009)

In all honesty i think its a fine story but the red thirst is something that really needs more character development. Its very difficult to write like someone who is "insane" when you aren't.


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