# You might be playing too much 40k if...



## techwitch (Nov 6, 2009)

Everyone post an addition to this line "You might be playing too much 40k if..."

Ill start

You might be playing too much 40k if...

Whenever you see an abandoned building or photo of one the first thought you have is "if i can get a squad into the top floor..."


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## Necrosis (Nov 1, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k if...

You light yourself on fire thinking your the Avatar of Khaine.


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## Calamari (Feb 13, 2009)

You might be playing too mmuch 40k when you take a "Feel No Pain" test everytime you stub your toe.


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## Sytus (Aug 27, 2009)

When you yell; "Anything but a 1! " In exams...


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## Dark Assassin101 (Jul 3, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k when pick up a flashlight and start flashing it in some ones face. While yelling For the Impirium!


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## obimoshman (Oct 21, 2009)

Necrosis said:


> You might be playing too much 40k if...
> 
> You light yourself on fire thinking your the Avatar of Khaine.


BUT I AM THE AVATAR :grin:

you might be playing too much 40k if in ur sleep u are heard chanting "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"


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## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

Well, this actually happened to me....

When the street you live in is under (re?)construction for some obscure reason, you come across the crampon (is that what its called?) of an excavator and think "That would be a nice bitz for some Ork conversion".

And to paraphrase the one about exams: "I succeed on a 2+"

Oh, and when you want to say a certain shade of a colour, you say "Scab Red", instead of "dark red".


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## Syko515 (Jan 22, 2008)

oh jeez, i do that with the colors....

when you go o squish a but but its in a crack in the floor and you can't, thus passing its 4+ cover save...


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Sytus said:


> When you yell; "Anything but a 1! " In exams...


This wins, automatically.


When you have a dream that you're a Dreadnought, sitting around a campfire with your friends during an alien invasion, and your girlfriend who you've never met before is controlling your arms, while wired to the top of your Dreadnought.

True story.
http://www.heresy-online.net/forums/showthread.php?t=46396
It was one of the coolest, and most retarded dreams I've ever had.


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## piemaster (Oct 9, 2009)

Dark Assassin101 said:


> You might be playing too much 40k when pick up a flashlight and start flashing it in some ones face. While yelling For the Impirium!


:grin:


Yesterday I accidentally flashed myself in the face as I held it the wrong way round. Good job its not the year 40,000 otherwise I'd be buggered...


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## killmaimburn (Mar 19, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k if you roll a d6 to determine how far you can move through piles of leaves in the fall.


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## Farseer Darvaleth (Nov 15, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40K if...(true story VERY embarrassing)

When you go down to the cornershop for a bar of chocolate and you ask the store worker "how many points is this mars?"

The man tells you 500pts (on their special reward card system)
I think *ah ha, I have just the list for 500pts* but before that, say
"WHAT THATS SO COSTY ILL JUST STICK WITH NICE CHEAP GUARDIANS"
The man then offers me a guardian newspaper, but I have fled the store, yelling " Feet of foot fleet of foot fleet of foot fleet of foot!!!"

Farseer D


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## Fire Lord (Feb 15, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...

You take a leadership test to see if you should ask a girl out!
You can't take a crap without a codex in your hands!
You can accurately judge short distances without a tape measure!


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## liforrevenge (Oct 6, 2009)

Fire Lord said:


> You might be playing too much 40k if...
> 
> ...
> *You can't take a crap without a codex in your hands!*
> ...


Guilty!

You might be playing too much 40k if

You pass a graveyard and think: "Look at all those failed armour saves "


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## Ultra111 (Jul 9, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if you...

ask a policeman where his Shock Maul is
Run at an animal with a blade shouting 'Xeno'
Pour water down an irritating Ant hole and cal it an orbital Bombardement


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## Blue Liger (Apr 25, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k when you watch a war movie and any other similar movies and analyse the battlefield/scene bagging out the commnader as he's chraging forward when he should be attacking from the flank with or using the hammer and anvil tatctic. I do this all the time it just switches on automatically


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## Orochi (Jan 28, 2009)

When you get frustrated that the Governments haven't sent the bloody space marines into Afgan/Iraq yet.


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## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

When you are moving house and it takes more time to pack up your 40k stuff than to pack up everything else. And it takes up more space in the shipping container than anything else.
This is happening to me now.


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## Iron Angel (Aug 2, 2009)

True story:

You might be playing too much 40k if you yell "DAKKA DAKKA!" for gun noises during dummy weapon drills.


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## Calamari (Feb 13, 2009)

True:

When your brother hears you chanting "Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks" in an Orky voice as you knuckle drag up the stairs.

Oh and about the colours, my bedroom wall will be painted Red Gore.

EDIT:


> Yesterday I accidentally flashed myself in the face as I held it the wrong way round. Good job its not the year 40,000 otherwise I'd be buggered..


No you wouldn't, it's a fecking lasgun.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Iron Angel said:


> True story:
> 
> You might be playing too much 40k if you yell "DAKKA DAKKA!" for gun noises during dummy weapon drills.


I love in DOW2 the passive "Dakka dakka dakka dakka dakka!" when there's a squad of Shoota Boys firing, it's so cute!
Just imagine an Ork saying it repeatedly while bobbing his head XD


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## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

When life gets difficult you seriously consider changing religion to 'Blood for the Blood god'


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## projectda (May 12, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
to fix any machine you yell " IN THE NAME OF THE OMNISSIAH "


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing to much 40k if you start accusing people of heresy!

I have done that more than once


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## Rye (Sep 22, 2009)

Fire Lord said:


> You can accurately judge short distances without a tape measure!


"That's definitely six inches." 

"How do you know?"

"Easy, it's a movement pha- it's six inches. Trust me."

You may be playing too much 40k if you accuse people who disagree with you of heresy. (Ah, just saw Nipolian already posted this... you beat me to it!)


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## ChaosRedCorsairLord (Apr 17, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...

Whenever you see a crowd of people you drive your car into them screaming "Tank Shock!".


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## wombat_tree (Nov 30, 2008)

You know you play to much 40k when....
The teacher blows the whisle to start the game of warball (kind of like dodge ball) and you run at the oppositing shouting WAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!! at the top of your voice! (true story )


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## Dark Assassin101 (Jul 3, 2009)

when you are in the middle of a rather large crowd, and you find you self wishing you had a flamer!


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Rye said:


> "That's definitely six inches."
> 
> "How do you know?"
> 
> ...


Back when Barrage weapons were actually guess range, I could accurately judge the distance to a target.
Seriously, like 3 times in a row in one game, I guessed the distance from my opponent's Defiler's Battlecannon (with Barrage upgrade) to the target, to within 2" of the actual distance.
It was disturbing how good I was at it, like 9/10 times I'd get it damn close, and that 1 time it was only a few inches off!


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## ChaosRedCorsairLord (Apr 17, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...

You ignore the chubby kid and throw your dodgeball at the small kid, he's got less toughness.

(I've got lots of these, some in very bad taste.)


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## ghazghkull-killyork (Jun 15, 2008)

when you get some friends around and start fighting with jagged metal strips and slege hammers


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## Ryuzaki (Nov 1, 2009)

you might be playing too much 40k if:

1. You claim that using "strategic redeployment" is an appropriate excuse to go to the bathroom during class
2. Whenever something scares you, you take a leadership test to see if you run away
3. You command your cadet platoon to move 6" forward and halt
4. You always take dice to a fight just in case you have to make an armour save
5. You pray to the chaos gods before you go to sleep
6. You only make lists that go to 6 points so you can roll a dice to see which one you choose.


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## bitsandkits (Mar 18, 2008)

you choose the red car in the show room because its faster than the blue one.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

bitsandkits said:


> you choose the red car in the show room because its faster than the blue one.


^
Not actually related to 40k, because it's an extremely common belief.

It may even be true, I think that depending on the type of paint, the pigment in red has less air resistance than other colours (very slightly though)


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## ChaosRedCorsairLord (Apr 17, 2009)

bitsandkits said:


> you choose the red car in the show room because its faster than the blue one.


This made me laugh.


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## Iron Angel (Aug 2, 2009)

Winterous said:


> ^
> Not actually related to 40k, because it's an extremely common belief.
> 
> It may even be true, I think that depending on the type of paint, the pigment in red has less air resistance than other colours (very slightly though)


I think he was making a Red Paint Job reference.

All car paints operate the same because they all have a lacquer finish over them to give them that lustrous glossy shine, or matte finish, or whatever else it has. I paint models with car paint so I have to know this stuff or I waste tons of money on iridescent paint that just falls off.

Anyway, moving on. You may be playing too much 40k if one day you drive to work with huge, jagged chunks of sheet metal bolted to your car.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Iron Angel said:


> I think he was making a Red Paint Job reference.
> 
> All car paints operate the same because they all have a lacquer finish over them to give them that lustrous glossy shine, or matte finish, or whatever else it has. I paint models with car paint so I have to know this stuff or I waste tons of money on iridescent paint that just falls off.


I understood the reference 
And what I meant by that, was that under the right circumstances it is possible for red paint to make the car go farsta, it's not _just_ a myth.



Iron Angel said:


> Anyway, moving on. You may be playing too much 40k if one day you drive to work with huge, jagged chunks of sheet metal bolted to your car.


"Uh, dude, what ARE you driving?"
"I invented it!"
"But I can still see the Honda symb-"
"I INVENTED IT YA GROT!"


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

Actually, I know people who play WFB and can guess ranges within half an inch of accuracy across the board for their stonethrowers and cannons. ( and yes, they actually declare stuff like, 27 and a half inch ), I'm generally accurate within an inch myself.
And I've accused many people of heresy myself.
I guess I play too much 40K.

You might be playing too much 40K if you think that girl over there is a daemonette in disguise because she doesn't have a Double D powerarmour so can't be a battle nun.


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## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

Ryuzaki said:


> 5. You pray to the chaos gods before you go to sleep


I actually wished that a certain Chaos God would exist under certain circumstances. 

Retard pissing me off: KHOOOORNEEEE, GIVE ME A FUKKEN CHAINAXE TO KILL THIS IMBECILEEEE!!!!

My hair being too short (still): doh, I wish Slaanesh fixed it for me, I'd be sooooooo glaaaaaad... 

After pulling something nasty and clever: I wish Tzeentch would bless me with some small measure of power for this...


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

On that note:

You play too much 40K if you think that the mexican flu was orchestrated by Papa Nurgle.
(Does that mean I get to flame everyone that has it, for being tainted by chaos?? )


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## Calamari (Feb 13, 2009)

When you walk into Burger King and ask for a Tau Whopper and chips.


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## ChaosRedCorsairLord (Apr 17, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...

You execute your ethnic friend for being a filthy xeno.


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## Phrazer (Oct 14, 2008)

Inquisitor Einar said:


> On that note:
> 
> You play too much 40K if you think that the mexican flu was orchestrated by Papa Nurgle.
> (Does that mean I get to flame everyone that has it, for being tainted by chaos?? )


Hummmm.... yes.

You can start with a **** in work with me if you want :biggrin:


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## Lord_Murdock (Jul 16, 2008)

You might play too much 40k if you attach a Deffrolla to the front of your vehicle. :shok:

True story, some construction workers were working on a ditch and they had some massive spiked roller sitting on the ground, and the first thought that popped into my mind was: DEFFROLLA!!!


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
You can come of with more than 3 reasons you might be playign to much 40k!


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## jesse (Sep 29, 2008)

you play too much 40k if......
you are in english class and you roll a leader ship check, fail it, then fall back.

when you sleep at night you dream of certain religous figures battling certain xenos scum. (true story)


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
you start making up stat lines for people 

That fat guy with the soda in his hand he has WS2 S5 T5 W3 I2 A3 AS5


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
You have to carry dice around with you to see if you pass you test


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## jesse (Sep 29, 2008)

Nipolian said:


> You might be playing too much 40k if...
> you start making up stat lines for people
> 
> That fat guy with the soda in his hand he has WS2 S5 T5 W3 I2 A3 AS5


why is the fat guy WS2?
think you could beat up a fat guy?

maybe instead of his normal three attacks he can do a n instant death *sit on* attack


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
Every time you get hurt you have to take a toughness test to see if you continue


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

How skilled would a fat guy be in fighting + the fat guy is holding a soda


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40k if...
when you are playing doge ball in gym you deturman your cover +'s


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

You might be playing to much if:
- When your manager is at work, you worry if you are still in synapse
- When you are playing any shooter, you yell heratic while you are killing something.
- When you outrun you're friends and claim it is because of your high initiative
- When you step on a bug, you refer to your shoes as "Power Converse"
- When you roll a dice to see how far you will hike into a forest.


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## Ogrelord (Nov 15, 2009)

You might be playing too much if:
You wonder if your jacket gives you an armor save


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

Nipolian said:


> You might be playing too much 40k if...
> Every time you get hurt you have to take a toughness test to see if you continue


If you triple-post, and double-post repeatedly.
Seriously, use the edit button and put them all in one post, double-posts are a no-no.

And also, I'm sick of people making the "Take a test to see if X happens" jokes, they're just not funny in the slightest.
There's a difference between you imposing 40k upon real life, and intentionally forcing rules of the game into menial situations.

Good joke:
You know you play too much 40k when you look at a crowd, and think about how many people would fit under a blast template.

Bad joke:
You know you play too much 40k when you take a morale check when someone jumps out at you.

It's funny when you do something nerdy subconsciously, like refer to a Steam Roller as a Deffrolla.
It's not funny when you go out of your way to do something like that, unless it could conceivably be done unintentionally, and is totally worth it.


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## liforrevenge (Oct 6, 2009)

Also, the shouting heretic in different situations one is growing old.


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## Blue Liger (Apr 25, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k if you havent realised there is probably about 10 or more of these "you might be playing too much 40k" in this same section within the last 6 months  (for those who are offended, this is said with a sarcastic and bluntly truthful tone)


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## shaantitus (Aug 3, 2009)

you refer to your sick child as a Plaguebearer of Nurgle.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

You start seeing life through grimdark goggles.


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## Ryuzaki (Nov 1, 2009)

If you think the time before WWI was pre heresy


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## ChaosRedCorsairLord (Apr 17, 2009)

you play too much 40k if......

you refer to construction sites, rivers and woods as dangerous terrain.


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

You might be playing too much 40K,
when your first thought when reading CRCL's post about terrain is: Construction sites.. MAYBE, rivers are just difficult terrain and woods certainly are only difficult terrain, not dangerous terrain.


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## wombat_tree (Nov 30, 2008)

You might be playing too much 40k when you manage to include all four of the chaos gods into your religion exam.
True story


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

Lol.. if that was some paper, I'd LOVE to read it


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## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

wombat_tree said:


> You might be playing too much 40k when you manage to include all four of the chaos gods into your religion exam.
> True story


I want to see that if its possible. :grin:

And high five to the synapse and WWI=Pre-Heresy jokes, I love'em. :grin:


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

I second the vote on seeing the chaos Gods report!


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## Blammer (Nov 17, 2009)

I would also like to see the chaos god report.

You know you play too much warhammer 40.000 if you refer to a stripper club as a slaanesh cult.


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## wombat_tree (Nov 30, 2008)

I would like to show you the report but unfortunatly my teacher was obviously not impressed and 'forgot' to give it too me and I can't be screwed asking him for it because he really doesn't like me. Why? Well let's just say I'm an atheist and he's not.


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## Winterous (Mar 30, 2009)

wombat_tree said:


> I would like to show you the report but unfortunatly my teacher was obviously not impressed and 'forgot' to give it too me and I can't be screwed asking him for it because he really doesn't like me. Why? Well let's just say I'm an atheist and he's not.


*cough*
Proving that would get him fired immediately.


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

wombat_tree said:


> I would like to show you the report but unfortunatly my teacher was obviously not impressed and 'forgot' to give it too me and I can't be screwed asking him for it because he really doesn't like me. Why? Well let's just say I'm an atheist and he's not.


I'm guessing he's christian, so if you really want to piss him off, use this quote in his face:

You say, I'm a heretic for being an atheist, I say, we are both atheists. I just believe in one less god than you do. Once you figure out why you disregard all the others, you will understand why I disregard yours.

Note: I did not make this quote up, but it sure as hell is awesome.


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## bakoren (Nov 16, 2009)

This Thread!!!!


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## Inquisitor Einar (Mar 6, 2009)

Fine Fine Fine..

You might be playing too much 40K if you show a rosette to some officiary and demand that whatever you want is arranged for you immediately.


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## Khorothis (May 12, 2009)

wombat_tree said:


> I would like to show you the report but unfortunatly my teacher was obviously not impressed and 'forgot' to give it too me and I can't be screwed asking him for it because he really doesn't like me. Why? Well let's just say I'm an atheist and he's not.


Why do you care? Can he hate you more? And if he does start messing with you, you can always go to the headmaster and tell him that said teacher is discriminating you on a religious basis, which goes against the constitution that allows you to worship your toilet if you feel like doing that. 



Inquisitor Einar said:


> You say, I'm a heretic for being an atheist, I say, we are both atheists. I just believe in one less god than you do. Once you figure out why you disregard all the others, you will understand why I disregard yours.


*PWNED*

Awesome quote there. I'd definately do it, mainly because you're trying to come up with a mature argument, while your teacher is basically bitching about, which sucks if you manage to convince the headmaster that your intentions are purely based on said mature argument and not trolling the teacher. Which means you have to lie very well. :grin: Also, your teacher has to be able to give your stuff back, test or not, because thats the only proof of your the existence of your test (given that it was graded; if not then you don't really have anything legal to back up your demand with).

BTW

You know you play too much 40K if you think that charge range in real life is equivalent with the distance between the two sides of a street with two roads (all together). I just did that today and I was rather embarrassed of myself.


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## Nipolian (Nov 4, 2009)

Winterous said:


> If you triple-post, and double-post repeatedly.
> Seriously, use the edit button and put them all in one post, double-posts are a no-no.
> 
> And also, I'm sick of people making the "Take a test to see if X happens" jokes, they're just not funny in the slightest.
> ...


Ya alot of people have gone after me for the double post thing i didnt see the edit sigh.

I reason i made that joke was because when i hut myself (Not porously) my friend told me to take a toughness test to see if i could continue to stay in school i thought it was funny so i posted it here


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