# Visions of Darkness



## Templar_Of_The_Night (Nov 22, 2008)

Hello all, I've entered a competition with some of my friends to write a warhammer related story. I've written quite a few short stories but never anything as long as this, i'm aiming possibily for a novella size; this is my prologue. I just wanted to see the general reaction, i've never written anything warhammer related before and I thought 40k was my best option. The idea for this came whilst reading Dark Disciple by Anthony Reynolds, so some of the ideas are incorporated from his writting.

Prologue
Abraxus, Dark Apostle of the Word Bearers Legion, walked purposefully onto the bridge. The hulking figure standing in the centre of the room slowly turned towards him. Steam rose from the joins in his ancient terminator armour; the gyros screaming with the very howl of the warp itself. The long blades of his power claw clicked together menacingly, electricity playing across their tips. The ominous sound issuing from within the mighty weapon was the only hint of the colossal power that was completely at the will of its master.

“My Lord, has the Primarch answered you?” Kor Lykaon’s face was stern, his desire to unleash the fury of the Host written clearly, upon his patrician features. This was common to all sons of the blessed Primarch Lorgar, to outsiders they all appeared to be the same, but nothing could be further from the truth. Lyakaon’s face was stone hard and played the image of the Primarch into a cold, stern gaze. He was a true Warlord of the Chapter, the very embodiment of wraith and dedication.

“My visions have revealed the location where the summoning must take place.” His voice was barely above a whisper but resounded all around the room, flowing like a blade through flesh. It was a harsh contrast to the thunder that underlined Lykaon’s every word. The Dark Apostle wore only the blood red robes of his office, but still had an aura of power that made him stand apart from all within the room. A figure of unparallel faith and devotion, with but a few choice words he could turn any of his warriors into the holy warriors of destruction that they were born to be. Clasped to his side hung the symbol of his power and the blessed weapon of his position, the holy Crozius Arcanum; from its previous angelic features barbed spikes now decorated its surface, circling around into the demonic eight-pointed star of Chaos.

“I have recited the Curses of Amentenoc, and a planet in the Eastern Fringe has appeared to me,” continued Abraxus, his eyes darkened in concentration, the images of his vision playing out again in his mind as he remembered “the world is held by the cursed creatures of the tau, their presence on the holy soil is an affront to the Gods, but their blood will be the catalyst form the great ritual.”

“As is the will of the Primarch, so shall it be.” The reply came not only from the Coryphaus but was echoed by all on the bridge. Each Marine was encased in the blessed power armour of the Legion, all displayed the proud symbol of the Host, the Puritius Maxus, on their right shoulders: a sword bisecting the kneeling form of an angle, the pommel of the weapon displayed the holy symbol of Chaos Undivided – an eight pointed spiked star. It represented the first writings of Lorgar after they turned from the lies Corpse-Emperor, and embraced the true majesty of the Dark Pantheon, Gods worthy of worship, who take an interest in the lives of their servants and rewarded their devotion with the raw powers of the warp, gifts worthy of their champion’s deeds.

“They will be crushed and their souls will burn for eternity in the warp, their death screams will serve as a beacon for our allies in the warp to show the aliens what the true form of terror is.” Both warriors turned their gaze seeking the source of the voice. Shadows danced around his form, slowly slipping back in order to reveal its form. Standing three metres tall, the demon Garnareck stretched its inhuman muscles, the talons that made up its hands spread wide to encompass the room.

“My brothers will feed on them and turn their world to ash.” The demons voice was laced with venom, its hunger pulling at it, its desire to kill evident. Two great horns ran from its skull and curved over the top of its shells shaven skull, the demon had long ago merged with the soul of the chaos marine whose body it resided in both their names and identities had merged over time, now they were one, their previous lives completely forgotten. 
Now there was only the creature Garnareck; the Dark Talon, sergeant of the possessed warriors of the Host and bearer of the Host’s banner, which it held loosely in its claws, since the original marine had become the banner bearer before they had merged, all those centuries ago it had never fallen, this record still held to now. The aspect of devotion embedded into the warrior having affected the demons desire as well, and it regarded its duty to the Host as seriously as any marine. With a smile Abraxus turned began to walk back to his chambers to lead the Legion’s warriors in their prayers to the Dark Pantheon. He paused at the door, turned and gazed deep into the eyes of Kor Lykaon, a rare smile stretched across his face, his lips curled in amusement.

“Take us into the warp my Coryphaus! Take us to unleash the fury of Lorgar upon those who do not accept the truth, those who flail in the darkness of ignorance while we run free in the bright shining bliss of enlightenment! Let us bring death upon the world of N’dras!” With a roar that echoed from the very heart of the ship, its great prow moved into alignment and a mighty hum travelled through every corridor as the warp engine came online. Lightning played across the hull of the ancient ship, and with a sound akin to that of a dying sun, the demon bound within the spirit of the Strike Cruiser, Infidus Rapture; a vessel that had been in use since the great crusade, that had been at the battle for terra and had send millions of souls to its masters in the warp. Sent the ship smashing through the barriers of the material universe, and plunged them into the cold, peaceful embrace of the warp.


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## zboy234 (Dec 29, 2007)

looks very good, just the odd grammar mistake, such as the 'B' for bridge, but that aside this is a thread I shall be watching.

Cheers and Good Writing,

zboy234.


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## Templar_Of_The_Night (Nov 22, 2008)

Ah thanks for that, my spelling has never been perfect, I will get the first chapter up as fast as I can.


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## Initiate (Mar 25, 2007)

Very nice imagery, I especially like how you described the power claw in the beginning. Good work.


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## The_Inquisitor (Jul 19, 2008)

Read it. Loved it. Keep it coming. 

L.


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## Shogun_Nate (Aug 2, 2008)

Howdy!

First off, great start to your story bud! I really enjoyed it and I would love to see more. The only spots I noticed comes with the punctuation. You have commas in places I don't think they need to be or where a semi-colon should be. 

Example:

_The hulking figure standing in the centre of the room, turned slowly towards him._

Here you don't need a comma as the action flows continuously. The comma breaks it up when it doesn't need to. If you were including more than one action then I'd go for a comma. Say "The hulking figure standing in the center of the room turned slowly towards him, eyeing his every move." would need a comma to break up the seperate actions taking place. 

"The hulking figure standing in the center of the room turned slowly towards him."
I'd also change around 'slowly' and 'turned'. It sounds better that way. It builds up to the action taking place. 

_Steam rose from the joins in his ancient terminator armour, the gyros screamed with the very howl of the warp itself._

Here I'd use a semi-colon instead of a comma. You have two lines in one sentence, the latter building from the former. It's usually better to break these ideas up with a semi-colon, punctuation-wise. I'd also change 'screamed' to screaming to keep the verbal tenses in line.

_His voice was barely above a whisper but resounded all around the room, flowing like a blade through flesh; it was a harsh contrast to the thunder that underlined Lykaon’s every word._

Here I'd put a period in the place of the semi-colon. Don't be afraid to break up a sentence especially one like this. A second sentence only helps to further the idea put forth in the previous one. It also adds weight to what's being said when you put a pause in. As it reads, it's one continuous line. However: "...a blade through flesh. It was a harsh contrast..." gives the reader that pause that builds the gravity of the description up.

_“Take us into the warp my Coryphaus; take us to unleash the fury of Lorgar upon those who do not accept the truth, those who flail in the darkness of ignorance while we run free in the bright shining bliss of enlightenment, let us bring death upon the world of N’dras.”_

Here is another place where a change in punctuation can add to the feel of the sentence. "Take us into the warp, my Coryphaus!. Take us to unleash the fury of Lorgag upon those who do not accept the truth; those who flail in the darkness of ignorance while we run free in the bright, shining bliss of enlightenment! Let us bring death upon the world of N'dras!" Here exclamation points bring more emotion into the lines, giving them more feeling.

All in all, it's a damned good story bud. Keep up the good work!

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate


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## fdshfn (Jun 24, 2009)

great job cant wait to read more:victory:


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## Templar_Of_The_Night (Nov 22, 2008)

Thankyou you all for your comments so far, it's really nice to get such great feedback from you all. So here is my first chapter and I hope you enjoy:grin:

Chapter One

The entire underground of the complex had been transformed into a vast maze of connected corridors; a labyrinth of perfect and efficient construction. The layouts basic design was simple to understand, it ensured that each section had easy access to all basic facilities; of course most had been abandoned and left to the elements when the majority of the Tau had left, now with only a small force left on the planet the wide corridors and rooms had felt the passage of time. The further away you moved from the central control area, the more evident this neglect became.

The changes were easy enough to see once you knew what you were looking for. With the powerful sensors incorporated into design of his stealthsuit, every aspect of the terrain was being monitored. Shas’Vre’Ksi’m’Kir’Qath walked forwards with his warriors; they were in a typical X formation, which was best used in close quarter searches, just like the one they were executing now. All of his warriors had their stealth fields disengaged for this hunt; it would serve no purpose against their current prey, a creature that, even with all the advanced technology at their disposal, knew where they were better than they did. This was not an enemy you could sneak up on, or catch off guard; it was completely against his battle instincts to walk into the trap. However he knew there was no other choice. The tracking sensor embedded into the creatures hide had gone offline moments ago, it was hiding in one of the old reactor chambers, and even though it had been many years since it had last been active, the remaining radiation was still strong enough to block out and even disable the beacons signal. The sections emergency lighting had been turned on for this hunt, the eerie light played across the space; casting demonic shadows on every surface. Everywhere Qath looked he was greeted by the leering gaze of demonic creatures. The faces all twisted and corrupted into poses of pain, anger and even enjoyment. Then in the next instant they were gone, and once more there was only the shadow of some fallen rubble, or one of the many insects the now called the corridors their home.

“Were closing on the last known location of the creature, prepare to engage the target.” Confirmation runes appeared to the side of his visor, all five members of his team understood the order and each began to ready their weapons for coming fight. The hum created by the fusion blasters was accompanied by the metallic whine of the burst cannons carried by the rest of the squad. Whereas the hum was a consistent drone in the background, the steady building of the cycling cannons shifted the atmosphere; the change could be seen in each warrior’s posture. The slight stiffness of their movements, the millisecond of hesitation with each odd step, the sudden tensing of every muscle at the slightest sound, all these were easy and very blatant to Qath’s keen eyes; even with each of his team fully enclosed in their personal set of armour. Their armour was designed to blend in with the surrounding, the digital colour scheme allowed the team to mesh with their surrounding, ensuring that once their stealth fields were engaged they were nearly completely invisible; it was fitting then that they were all masters of stealth.

In truth he also felt it, though he would never show such a thing to his team; he was their leader and to show any doubt was completely against his training. However, looking at the ripped metal ahead of them, an all too familiar dread settled upon his shoulders, just one tiny mistake, and they would all die. They all formed a semi-circle around the breach in the wall; this close, the dents in the metal were all too clear and the jagged marks that had been ripped into the steel painted a very vivid image of the creature’s two deadly talons. It was also a testament to its inhuman strength. To be able to punch straight through the wall; it was even possible to see where the creature had pushed through, literally bending the metal around its body.

With a nod of confirmation to his squad they moved, single file, through the breach and into the enemy controlled territory. The power to this section had been shut down years ago, when the planet had been abandoned, the reactor was in the centre of the room, the large space was covered with wires and cables, snaking of in every direction. Control stations were lined up at points around the reactor. Most had been destroyed but one appeared to still be intact; the others were in various stages of disrepair, damaged screens, broken keyboards and the various other minor versions of destruction. However the closest, a particularly large consol which appeared to be the one that the others connected to, had a large whole ripped into it, its circuits hanging loose and its various components thrown at random around its base.

The squad fanned out in a typical search formation; ensuring every member had another one close enough to lend support but far enough away so only one could be caught at a time. At least that was how it was supposed to work. As they approached the destroyed consol, Qath saw that the top and side of the consol was also damaged. Unique marks were torn into its surface, as if something had jumped on it, its claws scrambling over the surface for purchase. It was only once he was at the base of the machine that he realised the marks were the same as the creatures. Even as he turned, the warning just leaving his lips he knew it was all ready too late because unfortunately it was at this exact moment of comprehension that the lictor struck. Qath’s eyes widened as he realised that it was far too late for anything to be done to stop it. 

The tyranid stuck faster than anything living had a right to be; one of the huge talons extending from its back already had one of the team impaled. His fusion blaster dropping from his lifeless hands and loudly clattering on the cold metal floor. The metre long blade had punched through the warriors armour as if it had been paper. Even as the squad reacted to the enemy in their mist the beast killed again; spinning on its heel and in one controlled motion it threw the steaming corpse from its blade and into the warrior on its left; smashing him into the solid wall and causing cracks to appear all over his armour. At the same time its other talon swung out in a deadly arc and sliced another loyal servant of the greater good in two, cutting straight through the midriff of the armour and bisecting the suits occupant.

Even with the suddenness of the attack and the loss of two members in as many seconds, the rest of the squad rallied in an admirable time and began to fire on the creature. Firing his burst cannon in quick accurate bursts Qath pulled back from the beasts reach, his shells thumping into its chest but the reinforced chitin that encased its body held, protecting it from his deadly fire. The lictor responded to the attack by making one of its own, bending its powerful legs it’s leapt through the relentless barrage of fire, and smashed into another brave solider. This time it did not use its talons but instead tore into the helpless soul with the deadly claws extending from the tips of its fingers, each sweep raking vicious rents into the armour. Even as he died the warrior showed one last act of defiance, pushing the muzzle of his burst cannon against the monsters shoulder and unleashing a devastating rain of shots. At point blank range even the armoured shell of the lictor could not hold out and the weapon ripped bloody chunks out of it. Acidic blood sprayed from the wound and sizzled where ever it had contact, slowly burning through flesh and metal alike. The aliens scream of pain nearly drove Qath to his knees, his suits audio senses shut down to prevent him from going deaf, but even then the awful sound threatened to knock him over.

Driving through the pain Qath seized his chance to end the fight, leaping onto the back of the lictor and bringing his arm down to smash into the creatures head. As the beast fell he rolled over its top, and grabbed the waiting fusion blaster form his remaining special weapons bearer; the soldier’s visor had smashed due to his close proximity to the creature, and after receiving the full blast of the creatures scream the rune in Qath’s armour informed him that the senses of the warrior were too badly damaged for him to continue the fight.

Swinging the weapon around and dropping to one knee to ensure his aim he fired, unleashing the weapons destructive force onto his target. The fusion blaster was designed to burn through tank armour and reduce heavily armoured enemies to molten slag, as such the weapon burned straight through the lictor’s thick carapace. The blast enveloped it head and half of its body, the remaining lower section of its body slumped to the floor, the flesh had been seared together by the intense head.

Picking himself up Qath gathered the remainder of his squad and returned his borrowed weapon to its owner; who had nearly recovered from the effects of the lictor’s scream. Moving over to the body of the soldier who had been crushed against the wall at the start of the battle he could see his battle brother was still alive, but his body would need time to heal. He adjusted the frequency on his vox and spoke, trying to hide the exhaustion from his voice “Aun’El, the target has been eliminated though we have sustained casualties and have one critical.” 

“Hold position, a medical team is on its way, report to me once your wounds are treated.”

Qath switched back to his teams frequency, ending his conversation with his leader. With a quick signal to the rest of the group they began to move the dead and wounded out of the room, he was not sure why but something in his mind was nagging him to get out of the blood soaked battle zone. Instead of questioning the though, one look around at the corpse of their, now dead, target was all he needed, the dark red armour covering what remained of its body was indistinguishable from the blood that coated the room, and soon they were moving back up the corridor on route to meet the medical team. The thought that the dimensions of the hole in the wall, did not match up to the respective size of the creature they had just killed didn’t once cross his mind.

High up, resting on top of the reactor, a body shifted. Its skin had completely blended with that of its surroundings, making it practically impossible to spot with the naked eye. Especially to people who did not know to look for it. This creature had not taken part in the battle, instead allowing the younger lictor to confront the beings. No, instead the powerful mind controlling the beast knew that for the moment stealth was required. They had been so focused on the battle they had not even noticed that the creature they killed was but scant hours old, a baby in all respects, snatched when the escape had taken place before they even knew it had been created. Moving out from its concealed position among the wires and sheets on top of the reactor, a powerful three metre long talon emerged and impaled the remaining torso of its, distraction. The dark intelligent that drove it commanding it to consume the raw material in order to better adapt for the coming fight, where its pathetic captors would learn, the Great Devourer cannot, and will not be contained.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….​
The doors to the command room slid open and Qath marched in; without missing a step he strode past the numerous workers shuffling around the place. Each was identically clad in form-fitting insulation suits, each was coloured in a similar dark grey colour as his armour; the difference was they also had bright orange bands encircling their arms and legs. A figure was quietly overlooking the proceeding of the room, an air of authority hung about the being, and it was towards this figure that Qath now moved.

“Congratulations Shas’Vre, it is indeed a great accomplishment to kill a creature so immersed in the skills of the Kauyon.” The voice of Aun'El'Tau'n’Shovah flowed around the room, he spoke softly but an authority like no other was imbued with his every word. As the Ethereal approached, Qath smelled a shift in the air, an odour that he could not place, suddenly he felt his mind go numb; it was as if a hood had been placed over his head. Looking into the noble features of his leader, it took all his will to orientate an answer.

“My thanks Aun’El; you do me and my men a great honour with your praise.” Qath’s voice was light, as if he were walking through a dream. Looking at the Ethereal it never failed to amaze him how flawless his appearance was. The skull white robes clung to his body as if they were a second skin, the red trim elegantly threaded into its design symbolised him as of citizen of mighty Tau itself. The pale blue skin complimented the regal blue eyes that gazed at him now; looking into them Qath saw years of knowledge locked within their depths. Knowledge that suited the preachers of the greater good, the divine goal to which all tau strove, for only in unison could an empire truly become strong enough to withstand the tests of time; this lesson was what all Tau were taught from birth since the Ethereals first came, so many years ago. 

“What is wrong Shas’Vre? You seem troubled.” The question caught Qath of guard, and his answer was lost to him. As if unaware of his officers confusion the Ethereal’s stern gaze of concern changed into that of recognition; the additional smile that joined the look set Qath’s misgivings at ease, and he found his answer flowing, unaided from his lips; “The creatures we are researching are becoming more daring, their attempts at escape are proving more successful as time passes, the loss of my men troubles me. The creature knew what our formation would be and used it against us.”

“Yes, that is troubling, but this is why our research is so important. For the greater good we must learn what we can about our enemies. The Tyranids are all linked together via one single powerful mind; this is how they can move in perfect formations and attack in perfect synchronisation with each other. The lictor is one of the most dangerous things we hold because it operates on its own, separate from the main hive and so immune from our attempts to block out the Hive Mind.” The Ethereal’s tone was one of pride, and with only these choice words Qath stood taller, and all his previous doubts vanished. There was a bleeping sound from the consol in front of the Ethereal and suddenly his revered leader turned towards him. His previous look of pride replaced with one of composed duty.

“Qath, you may return to your duties I have other matters to attend to.” With this he turned and; accompanied by his bodyguard of elite warriors. Began to make his way to the dock, looking at the consol where the bleeping had originated, Qath saw the signature of a Castellan class vessel; apparently they had company.


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