# If Call of Duty bro's were space marines



## CJay (Aug 25, 2010)

Banished Marines
By C.J. Daconta
“The Gods require speed!” The heretic commander shouted. A contingent of the Chaos lords chosen, tracked up the Certile pass. Young, and looking for glory, they raced up the steep roads that wound around the grassy hills. The sense of urgency, filled the young recruits hearts. They would strike the way left flank, and roll up the false gods line. They could hear the clash of their brothers. The smell of burning grass, the sounds of screams and weapons fire. It gave them more resolve. The chosen men of chaos turned off the pass up a steep incline, hurrying to finally fight their arch enemy.
* * *
Certilus was a wide expanse of grassy highlands, separated by lines of thick forest hedges that lined the knolls. In one of these such strips, waited 5 giant armored figures. There armor was quartered, in navy blue and bone white. 
“Coming up the pass as expected.” One of them hissed into the vox. They were the Empires Space Marines. The Angels of Death. They sat in perfect stillness as the line of heretics came into view up the grassy hill. 
“Noobs,” Another one sneered. 
“Head shots are the only thing that scores a point, remember that Jeremy.” The marine in the middle said, looking to his right to the figure with the melta gun slung to his back. 
“That's fine, we all know I will score better then you.” Jeremy said, settling in with his bolter. The full force of the heretics was in view. Estimates of 100 men with thick overlapping armor. They had hoped to run around the left flank by the Certile pass and hit the Imperial lines by surprise. This would have worked normally for men favored by the Chaos Gods, their weapons were of the best make and quality, but the failure to prepare for the worst was a sign of inexperience. 
The knolls were open expanse with grass about knee height for a normal human. These were the “no mans lands” for the war on the world of Kilfern, and these heretics didn't realize they were striding right through one.
“When the line reaches that rock, we shoot?” The marine named Phillip inquired?
“Deal,” the group resounded. The long line of black armored figures crept closer to the rock. Closer. A few more steps. The lead figure took his last step, placing his foot directly along side the rock. 5 bolters fired as one. 5 heads exploded off of their shoulders. Five more heretics were dropped an instant later. Bolters shredded their ranks. The tough, layered armored, flaying by the power of the radioactive shells. The heretics dove to the ground, leaving just their head and las-rifle exposed.
“Look they made it easier!” The marine named Daniel piped in glee.
“Like shooting ground hogs.” Jeremy said in agreement. The remaining heretics rallied to concentrate a rebuttal. Las-rounds pinged off of the ceramite plates of the marines, and thudded into the shrubs around them. Heads continued to explode. The heretics refused to break and run. 
The last devotee to Chaos stood up in defiance. Spraying the tree line with a lethal spray of red beams from his las-rifle. His torso took a direct hit, sending his limbs in multiple directions. Before his head could hit the ground, it exploded into a red mist.
“That puts me one above Daniel!” The middle marine exclaimed, whooping for joy. His built in counter showing a total number of 26. 
“Fuck you Michael, that doesn't count, he was already dead.”
“Im sorry what? I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am” Michael said, stepping up, onto a rock basking in a made up over-embellished glory. “Rob, whats up with the bitch number?” Michael said, looking towards the smallest marine of the group. 
“You try shooting at that distance with a storm bolter, and lets see you get a ton of head shots.” Rob snarled. 
There was low grumble in the distance, the clanking of mechanical tracks moving could be heard farther down the pass. “It seems that was just the Vanguard.” Phillip said as the group looked out down the field. 
“Colonel Meffis, This is the Michael. Something bigger than a few heretics is on its way, advisable re-deployment.” Michael said on the Imperial Guard Channel.
“We picked them up on the scans just a little bit ago. We are already deploying.” The colonels gruff voice came back over the vox. “Were you correct about a special flanking operation?”
“Yeah but it was luck, don't hate yourself for not thinking about it.” Michael responded. “Have a nice day colonel.”
“So what are we doing? We going to stay to repel the next wave?” Daniel asked to the group.
“I don't know about you guys but I'm done camping.” Michael said, stretching out his legs. “I say we go down the line, see where we can be of better use.”
The rest of the group nodded in agreement, setting off down the lines of the Imperial guard.
* * *
General Lemart shouted orders to direct his forces in the small town of Ilterk. Lemart lead the Dragoons of Pur and they were holding on to a losing situation. The town was a major intersection between the major roads of Certilus, and the enemy wanted it for their tanks. The Imperial line, couldn't soundly secure the town due to a river along its western flank, effectively isolating Ilterk. 
The arch enemy had already blown the bridge to the city, and had surrounded the town on 3 other fronts. Those that tried to re-enforce the town were cut down. “I need a fire team here!” Lemart shouted. “Where is Jertiks Conqueror its supposed to be here for Emperors sake, covering this blasted eastern road!” Lemart stalked back to his command tent yelling and shouting at his adjutants. 
“Status on the blessed hell packed city corners, and please tell me its something good.” Lemart shouted at the scrawny vox caster before him.
“Sir, reports of heavy casualties but no ground lost.” He responded.
“The Emperor protects.” Lemart muttered, “Keep me posted on their happenings, let me know if things turn sour.” Lemart had rounded to take another sweep of the command perimeter, running smack into a giant armored figure. “What in the Emperors name!” he roared.
“Space marine Michael, reporting for duty sir!” The giant stated through his helmet.
“Space marine?” Lemart said, rubbing his chin in confusion, “No one told me we were receiving aid from the Astartes, what chapter are you, I don't see any markings?”
“You can't be representin if yo get kicked out, son.” Rob said in his best mock ganger voice.
“Excuse my tard of a brother, we were banished from our chapter sir,” Michael clarified.
“Is that so?” Lemart remarked, “So why are you here?”
“We were sent to redeem ourselves by undertaking such a feat to make up for our shame.” Phillip spoke up.
“I See, well the Eastern front needs some cover, pick a spot and hunker down.” Lemart said 
“Understood.” Michael responded. Turning to his comrades, “lets bounce bitches.”
* * *
The eastern front was assailed by the full force of the arch enemy facing directly towards their lines. Tanks, mutants, and heretics a like raced down the main road, trying to breach into Ilterk. Off to the right of the road, in a blown out apartment complex, the 5 marines took position in the top stories.
“Do you see that tentacle faced mother fucker!” Daniel blurted out, looking down the sites of his bolter.
A story above him, Phillip commented, “Oh dude, look at the center of it, its like a vagina! A dick eating vagina, with razor sharp teeth and everything!” The group roared in laughter at this.
“Shoot it!” Rob said through fits of laughter, “Its reign of dick terror ends today!” The Chaos mutant exploded into hundreds of pieces as several rounds ruptured its body. 
“I hit first, that's 78 for me!” Michael boasted over the vox. “Jeremy whats your-”
“Don't look at my score!” Jeremy cut in, obviously frustrated by his points. The 5 of them bursting into laughter by this comment.
“Look at that bitch number!”
“You shooting blind folded?”
“Fuck you guys, I'm at an awkward angle here.” Jeremy retorted in frustration. He looked around for a second, then found what he was looking for and set off.
“Jeremy there is another tank! We need the melta!” Rob said, ducking behind cover as hard rounds smacked into the rockrete wall he was hiding behind. 
“I got it don't worry.” Jeremy said as he hefted a chair with wheels back to the opening in the wall.
“Are you seriously sitting down on your ass in a combat zone?” Daniel said, trying to fight back the laughter building up in his throat.
“Just getting comfy,” Jeremy said as he took aim with his shoulder mounted melta. The gun went off, super heating the air before it, searing a hole into the tank. The munition stores touched off a second later, sending a plume of smoke in the air. “See? Look how much better I do now.” Jeremy said triumphantly.
The defense was fierce. A deadly cross fire cut through the Chaotic hordes, but the arch enemy were numerous. The influence of chaos had touched the entire populace and turned them against the Imperium.
The group of five had never let up on the pressure during their time in the apartment complex. With the skill and precision of the Adeptus Astartes, they cut a bloody swathe through the enemy ranks.
“Do you guys notice anything?” Michael remarked. He stopped firing, inspecting the line. “There's no lasers.” Michael concluded
“What are you talking about?” Phillip interjected, still firing through his window slit?
“Look, there are no las rounds attacking the enemy from the ground?.Do you guys not see this?” Michael exclaimed, looking for confirmation from his friends.
“He's right, they are probably in trouble down on the road itself. We should probably go help.” Daniel said to the group.
“Oh hell no!, I am just finally racking up a bunch of kills, plus I am extremely comfortable, I am not moving from this position.”
“Suite yourself, keep us covered from here ok.” Michael said as the 4 of them made their way to the staircase.
“Deal” Jeremy said. He was settling back into position with his chair when he saw the muzzle flash from a tank off in the distance. An enemy battle tank had fire upon the melta flashes coming from the building, smacking hard into Jeremy's cover. The wall stopped the lethal force of the shell, but it had enough power to send Jeremy flying through the wall at his back. 
The 4 marines stopped in their tracks by the sudden explosion that rocked the entire building. Jeremy picked himself up from the rubble and headed to join his teammates down the stairs.
“What the hell was that?” the group asked as Jeremy came down the steps.
“Oh nothing, just decided to come along, that's all.” Jeremy said through clenched teeth, trying to fight off the horrible ringing in his ear. Laughing, they slapped Jeremy on the shoulder pads and goaded each other on to the bottom of the steps. 
* * *
The streets were littered with debris. Entire portions of buildings were heaped up on the floor. Civilian vehicles, and random items littered the ground, along with the tortured bodies and limbs of the dead. A howling screech sounded from the east, a group of chaos mutants sprang up onto a heap of rubble above the group. The quartered colored marines were not like their imperial guard counter parts. They did not flinch in fear like the guard. Before their muscles could even tighten to spring forward, the mutants disintegrated under a hail of fire.
“Lets get in between the rubble, set up a choke point, keep it nice and tight.” Michael barked.
“Tight, like your girlfriend?” Rob snickered.
“No, like his mother.” Jeremy said bursting into laughter.
“Fuck you guys. Come on!” Michael bellowed, charging down the street. 
A heretic champion, cut through an Imperial guardsman. Rending him in two with his daemonic blade. As the guardsmen fell, the armored giant came into view. Michael leapt on one foot, punching outward with his right arm and kicking back with his left leg in a superman punch. The champions facial bones broke on impact. The momentum behind Michael sent the heretic skipping along the ground. The heretics, enhanced by the powers of the warp, were still just men. They were crushed by gauntlets and grieves of the adeptus astartes. 
A possessed heretic with dis jointed limbs leapt upon Jeremy's back. Clawing and biting at his helmet. Jeremy clasped tightly to hide of the spawn and hurled it to the floor. The wretch tumbled before Rob. On cue, Rob lifted his giant armored boot and stomped upon the infected mans face. The creatures head burst like a ripe fruit, sending cranial matter all over the floor. Foot firmly planted to the ground, Rob opened up with his storm bolter. Both barrels barking on rapid fire, stitching the enemy ranks. 
Daniel and Phillip, leapt onto advantage points, and set up an effective cross fire between them, while Michael, Rob, and Jeremy fought with the dredges of Chaos, using the debris strewn around the ground to avoid focused enemy fire. Leaping from cover in a barrel roll, Michael came to his feet, jumping high with his knee raised, driving it into the mid-riff of an unsuspecting cultist. Swords, and pikes, clashed upon the ceramite of his armor, only to be shrugged off like plastic toys. He punched out, breaking bones with each hit. Gripping hold of one cultist, he heaved the writhing being high into the air. With all his weight, dropped the wretch onto the ground, driving the massive shoulder plate, once bearing his chapter markings, into the creatures face, crushing its skull. Picking himself up, Michael noticed Daniel upon a pile of rubble, picking off the on-comers.
“Hey campin Carl, you want in on some of this?” Michael asked raising his arms to surmise the scene. 
“Don't you know anything? No good camper leaves his camp sight unattended too, besides I'm making smores.” Daniel retorted, never losing focus from his aim.
“Ow make me one, don't burn my marshmallow though, a nice healthy golden please.” Michael said, turning back to the action.
“Done.” Daniel responded, placing a perfectly aimed round between the eyes of a heretic officer. 
“Tank column!” Phillip screamed over the vox. “Bearing on us quickly!”
“Shit they are big fuckers too! Looks like they have as many turrets as a titan.” Daniel sounded.
“Lets take out the lead tank, if one goes down, it will block the entire road.” Jeremy yelled over the wailing enemy in his fist. Jeremy threw the dieing man and scrambled up to a vantage point to fire his melta. The tanks opened up, blowing craters the size of a grox in the rubble and surrounding buildings. Jeremy ducked behind the cover with the rest of his brothers, huddling close to stay out of harms way. 
“So who is going to play dummy so I can get a shot off?” Jeremy inquired to the group huddling in cover around him.
“No one.” Michael shouted from another pile of rubble a couple meters away. “Throw me the launcher.” Michael demanded, pointing at a missile launcher lying next to Jeremy and Daniel.
“Catch!” Daniel said throwing the weapon to Michael. With expert hands, Michael caught the gun and spun it into position upon his shoulder in one fluid motion. Aiming for the treads of the lead heavy tank, he pulled the trigger. Click.
With a look of loathing content, “Of course.”
“Shoot the damn thing!” Rob screamed in frustration behind an ever shrinking wall of cover. Michael gave him a scornful look and showed him the empty magazine feed, where the rockets should be held.
“Shit.” Daniel muttered, looking for the rockets to go with the launcher. He found them thrown across the ground a couple meters away in a satchel. He sprinted the distance, braving the enemy fire and shrapnel cascading around him. Grabbing hold of the missiles he hurled them to Michael as hard as he could.
Catching a loose one from the satchel, Michael slotted it into the feed. He leapt up onto a broken chimera for a better shot. “that was stupid, could have taken the shot from cover” He thought to himself, as warning sirens blared in his visor as enemy rounds impacted with his armor. He pulled the trigger mechanism again, the rocket ignited and shot from the launcher. The lead tank, transversed its turret around to face the space marine with its main cannon, aligning perfectly with the rockets trajectory. It slid right into the turret, scraping the walls of the barrel, until it collided with the loaded munition. The tanks main turret tore off of the plating, like the straw from a squeezed juice box, from the explosive pressure from the inside.
“Did you all fuckin see that!” Michael screamed! “By the Emperor please say someone had a camera! Someone should have caught that on film!”
“Lucky turd.”
“I could have done that.”
“I want your babies Mike!” The group joked, as Mike clambered off the Chimera. 
“It's not over yet boys, we still got 3 super heavy tanks back there.” Phillip reminded them.
“Say what? I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am?” At the moment Michael ended his sentence, an explosion went off behind them, setting off at their backs on top of the advancing enemy. The air screamed passed them. The noise unbearable for human ears. Even with their augmented hearing, it was still ridiculously loud, and then everything was silent.
The 5 combatants dared to look. What was once an oncoming horde of heavy metal and crazed killers, was now a waist land of wreckage and burnt bodies. Those that had survived the blast were running back to the main line. 
“The fuck was that?” Rob asked, still baffled that they were granted a reprieve.
“What ever it was, it was clearly more awesome then Mike.” Daniel said
“Fuck y-” Michael began.
“That my friends, was a deathstrike missle.” Lemart said striding up behind the marines. He was followed by a couple squads of guardsmen taking up position along the rubble to cover the east entrance.
“Why'd you call it in? We had this place locked down.” Jeremy rebuked, crossing his arms.
“I'm sure you guys did.” Lemart chuckled, walking off to inspect the rest of his troops.
* * *
The day was drawing to a close. The Imperial line was moving forward chasing down the heretics who were in full retreat. The 5 marines, sat in a dug out, relaxing after the days action.
“We are so good.” Jeremy said, nodding to himself in agreement.
“We totally wrecked house.” Michael said, snuggling into a more comfortable position. “We deserve honors for that shit. Seriously did anyone miss that rocket shot? Right down the barrel!”
“We know! You wont let us forget it.” Daniel said as he turned the bunker lights on to make up for the descending sun. 
“That was nothing you guys.” Phillip said somberly.
“What!?” The group bawked as one.
“Think about it, we took on enemy heretics.” Phillip explained, “Not our traitor brethren, not even daemons. Just a bunch of mutated crazies with no true power or direction. We are supposed to be redeeming ourselves, making up for our shame. Winning a million easy battles will not see us re-instated with the Novamarines.
“Your right, this was pretty easy.” Michael said with a deep sigh, finalizing the sombre mood that had descended upon the group. “But, did we not look bad ass or what?” He said with a broad smile on his face.


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## Todeswind (Mar 2, 2010)

Ok, first off I'd suggest editing it so that you have spaces between each line of text so that it's easier to read. 

It's funny, but a bit generic and sophomoric, and not spectacularly original. The tropes you use are so common that they nearly write themselves. "I want your babies" and so on have been pretty common in gaming comedy for the past ten years or so. 

That being said I liked it overall, please keep at it!


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## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

Highly entertaining, since I still have yet to grow out of silly humour (hell I hope I never do!) But as Todeswing says, please throw in some spaces, as walls o text lead to bleeding eyeballs.


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## CJay (Aug 25, 2010)

Lol, Ok when I have the time I will space it out.

I hate to say this, but its that sophomoric comedy I was going for. I will continue to write, and the stories will be more interesting, and not so generic, but with this first story what I Wanted to prove was that I could capture that feeling of me and my friends and how we talk in the midst of action. We are childish, and we repeat lines from popular shows to diss one another. Thats just how 20 year old immature bros do things.

I will have another short story up in a few weeks, if you enjoyed this please come back and read my next installment. Thank you for your comments !


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