# 40K Yo Mamma



## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

That's right kids. It's time for 40k and Yo Mamma. 

Yo Mamma is so:

nasty Nurgle has tried to recruit her.

fat she has two deployment zones.

fat she could plug the eye of terror with her finger.

fat and stupid she thinks a "Pie Plate" refers to apple crumb.

stupid she thiks oop means your sorry.

stupid she thinks "gets Hot" weapons are good for a wild night out.


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

Yo momma is so fat she is a stunt double for a squiggoth.

DoW Style--
Yo momma is so fat a thousand mouths cry out in pain.


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## Siegfried (Jan 4, 2007)

Yo mamma so fat she makes Slaneesh question the value of excess. (Which would have to be pretty damn fat. ^^)


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

Yo mamma is so dirty she makes nurgle feel clean


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

Yo mamma is so huge that Khorne couldn't handle all that blood.


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

Yo mamma is so fat she couldn't assault out of a land raider.

Yo mamma is so slutty she makes daemonettes feel prude.


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

I like the "two deployment zones" and the "squiggoth" ones. Nice.

Yo momma's so dirty... her coworkers call her the Great Unclean One.

Yo momma's so fat... the Eye of Terror is the rupture in her ass-space. 

Yo momma's so old... Khorne was a busboy at her 30th birthday. 


Yo momma's so ugly... nurglings gag and hide their faces when she passes by.

Khaine


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## The Son of Horus (Dec 30, 2006)

Yo momma's so easy that she don't got crabs-- she gots nurglings! 

Yo momma's got mo' fat rolls than the most anatomically-incorrect daemonette has titties!

Yo momma's such an abusive bitch that commissars will back off in an argument with her.


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## blkdymnd (Jan 1, 2007)

Yo Momma's so fat, she wanted to enter the Eye of Terror and got stuck...

Yo Momma's so stupid, she spells Ork with a "c"...

Yo Momma's so fat, she could outlast a hivefleet in an eating contest...

Yo Momma's so ugly, Nightbringer wouldn't touch her with a ten foot scythe...


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## Erikman (Jan 3, 2007)

Yo momma's so dumb, she won an orky spelling bee.

Yo momma's so ugly, even Tzeentch couldn't fix her.

Yo momma's so ugly, the Emperor won't even talk to her.

Yo momma's so dumb, she pronounces it "layz-gun."

Yo momma's so boring, she makes the Ultramarines look exciting.


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## the cabbage (Dec 29, 2006)

Yo momma's so ugly orks won't sleep with her!


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## Deadshane (Dec 29, 2006)

Your momma's so old she used to drive a Steam Tank to high school.

Your momma's so stupid she needs a 5+ to act this turn.

Your momma's so ugly she made Nurgle go..."Damn!"

Your momma's so fat, if your army's cheesy, she'll eat it.


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

Deadshane said:


> Your momma's so old she used to drive a Steam Tank to high school.
> 
> Your momma's so stupid she needs a 5+ to act this turn.
> 
> ...


Haha

Quality answers Deadshane.


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## Not-Nick (Jan 27, 2007)

Erikman said:


> Yo momma's so boring, she makes the Ultramarines look exciting.


That Is Balisimo

Yay Little Waaaagh


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Nice ones.

Yo mama is so fat she only has to wiggle one toe to pile in.


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## Warboss Dakka (Jan 1, 2007)

Eh, I hate to do this but:

Yo Momma is so Fat that in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only her.


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## blkdymnd (Jan 1, 2007)

Warboss Dakka said:


> Eh, I hate to do this but:
> 
> Yo Momma is so Fat that in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only her.


alright, thats the best I've seen so far


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

Warboss Dakka said:


> Eh, I hate to do this but:
> 
> Yo Momma is so Fat that in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only her.


Man that's awesome!

We've gotta get a pic of a fat lass with those words across her... i'm on it!

LOL


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Ha, ha, ha, ha.....that last one was great.


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

Rofl, that is great. Definitely could see that on a big girl's shirt. She'd have to be pretty massive though, and many cottonfields would die in it's unholy forging. Rofl again.


Khaine


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

/glances to the heavens


Lord gimme strength......


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

As said before, that is by far the best i have heard an the most original. 

/applauds


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

What I always found funny was seeing a fat girl wearing a US army T-shirt that reads, "An army of one". More like an army of 12.


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## MarzM (Jan 26, 2007)

Your maw's so fat;-

To get her in a Landraider, you have to rub her sides down with lard, and throw in a Mars bar!  



MarzM


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

You gave me an idea.

Your mama is so fat when she assaults out of a land raider she has to use all 3 access points.


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## DireAvenger (Dec 27, 2006)

Yo momma is so fat... 

that you cant even find an access point 

the tau made the greater good to cancel her out


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## MarzM (Jan 26, 2007)

your maw's @rse is so big;-

You could use her to plug the eye of terror!

MarzM


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

Yo mamas so fat she has her own battle-barge just for transport.


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## torealis (Dec 27, 2006)

Yo mumma so fat i get +1 to hit her.


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

Yo Momma is so fat.. On 6's she gets AP1 vs cheeseburgers.

Yo momma is so fat.. She has more back-breasts than Daemonettes have at all.


-Khaine-


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

yo mamas so fat that her followers praise her not as a god but a world


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## Jeepfreek (Jan 3, 2007)

Yo momma's so fat AND ugly, whenever the "eye of terror" is talked about, it actually referrs to that time when nurgle walked in on her in the bathroom while she was bending over in the shower.

Yo momma's so fat, she has a warhound titan as a pet and calls him "fluffy".

Yo momma's such a ho, that even slannesh won't touch her.

Yo momma's so gross, she beat out Nurgle at an acne counting contest.

Yo momma's such a ho, the black library is actually the collection of all the numbers she uses for her booty calls.

Yo momma's so fat, she ate Golgotha Prime and that's the REAL reason we have no more SQUATS..


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

yo mamas so ugly that every turn everyone on the battle field has to take a morale test with their leadership lowered by 5.

yo mamas so fat that to field her in a battle everyone has to take a cover save to save themselves from her almighty flab.

yo mamas so fat that she went to pick her nose and her finger got stuck. when she finally pulled it out it was covered in an entire hivefleet of tyranids.

yo mamas so fat that she doesnt have any folowers because she squashed them all.

yo mamas so fat that every time she moves her toe you need to use D6 large blast templates.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

yo mamas so fat that wen she sneezed she created all the worlds of the imperium of man.

yo mamas so fat that wen she farts she blows planets out of one solar system and into the next.

yo mamas so fat that when she farted the noise reawakened the necrons.

yo mamas so fat that when she burped she put out all the suns in the imperium of man

yo mamas so fat that when she farts people think armageddon has arrived.

yo mamas so dumb that once tried to use the nightbringers scythe to scratch her arse.

yo mamas so fat that whens shes on the battlefield shes classed as impassable terrain.

yo mamas so dumb she tried to board a land raider by the back hatch.

yo mamas so ugly that the necrons immediatly phased out.

yo mamas so ugly that blowing her face up with a titan cannon makes her look beta

yo mamas so dumb she tried to use a flamer to dry her hair.

yo mamas so dumb she throws the pin instead of the grenade.


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## Hudge (Dec 24, 2006)

I don't have any but they are quite good.


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

These are so funny. 

I've gotta create a Yo Mamma Rotating Block on the portal!


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

I got one

Your mamma is such a slut particle whips make her horny


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

As promised - a visual reminder of the Warboss Dakka's entry - by far the funniest yet.


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

If that doesn't make you want to shag, I don't know what does!

<vomits>

-Khaine-


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

How can you fucking live like that?

And smile?

Whilst being naked posing?

WTF ew.


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## Wrath of Khaine (Dec 29, 2006)

What a tick... Is that a hamburger under her left breast?!
Oh wait, that's probably her nipple..

Her stomach looks like something out of The Thing with Kurt Russell.
Her bicep fat is actually larger than her gargantuan tumor-breasts.

I cry for the man who must smell those nethers and tell the tale.

<holds up lighter>
Good luck mate.

-Khaine-


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

Pardon me while I use a blunt instrument to stab out my eyes!! GAAAAAHHHH!!


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

i have no words to describe what i feel when i see that, mmm how bout ABSOULTELY SICK, i nearly ran 4 a bucket. that is jus plain disgusting


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## LongBeard (Dec 22, 2006)

Just plain wrong! :shock:


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## Exodite (Dec 28, 2006)

LongBeard said:


> Just plain wrong! :shock:


 :shock: I will second that!


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## Hudge (Dec 24, 2006)

It's probably just a costume.


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

Probably not. People actually get that...huge.

I mean, think about it.

Once you that big you must figure any attempt at losing weight would kill you from the strain, and lipo would be such a body-shock, and you still have the clogged arteries, etc.

So you live out the rest of your rotten life making petty fun at yourself.

Horibble, really.


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## Siegfried (Jan 4, 2007)

And horrible people.

Barring that it's from some horrible genetic thing that couldnt be fixed those people are bad.

Theres no excuse for getting that fat ><.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

she has no self control whatsoever!, i mean she must sit round all day eating hamburgers and pizza and fries and coke all from one bucket!!!, well that is apart from when shes posing for pictures (vomits) which i doubt i ever would have seen if it had not been brought up on this forum.


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

Welcome to Heresy Ordo 

I personally don't understand how people can let themselves get to be like that. I am 6' and 205 pounds and the bit of paunch that I have bothers the hell out of me. Just recently started a diet and excercise program to lose 10-15 lbs to reduce the size of my stomach a bit but at the same time I don't consider myself fat nor has anyone ever said to me that I was. People that are 100, 200+ lbs overwieght just stagger me. I mean, how the HELL do you let yourself go like that, don't you have any kind of self respect? Or at the very least concern for your own health??


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

The Wraithlord said:


> Welcome to Heresy Ordo
> 
> I personally don't understand how people can let themselves get to be like that. I am 6' and 205 pounds and the bit of paunch that I have bothers the hell out of me. Just recently started a diet and excercise program to lose 10-15 lbs to reduce the size of my stomach a bit but at the same time I don't consider myself fat nor has anyone ever said to me that I was. People that are 100, 200+ lbs overwieght just stagger me. I mean, how the HELL do you let yourself go like that, don't you have any kind of self respect? Or at the very least concern for your own health??


We share the same sentiments.

I hammer myself down the gym and boxing club 6 times a week. If I miss training for more than a day I feel really guilty. 

It only take a month or so but you soon start to enjoy it. I'm off to beast my shoulders tonight, gotta be the biggest at the GT finals! 

Whatever floats your boat though.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

yea, as soon as i can im hitting the gym. its guna help bulk me out nd gett rid of the little extra fat i carry


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

Im rather trim and in shape myself. "Lean," or as you like.

I'm not muscleman though.


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Aren't we getting a little judgemental here? Though I agree it is unhealthy, we have no information on how individuals get this way. Not all problems in life have clear cut reasons.


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

A person may have a condition that lends itself to weight gain yes, but nothing makes a person get that big. If you have said condition then you have even MORE reason to do something about it. Like just watching what you eat. That woman did not get that size eating well balanced meals I can guarantee you that.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

i agree, its so disgusting walking into a foodcourt or a reseraunt or sumting and seeing this great thing tucking into like a large-sized-everything-on-the-menu-all-mashed-into-a-bucket. they just have no self respect or control


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Many of us have no self control about certain things. Drugs, alcohol, physical abuse (self or otherwise), etc. Not all those who lack self control have visible signs.

Yes, she's grossly over weight, but how many people are alcoholics? You cannot tell by looking at them. Just because we can see the signs does it give us the right to be harsh?


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## The Wraithlord (Jan 1, 2007)

Yes 

I don't really think I was being harsh, I just don't understand that. I also don't understand how people can let any of the things you mentioned control them in such a way. I was a heavy drug and alcohol user as a teen and into my early twenties and I dropped them cold turkey when I saw where is was leading me. Not to say that I don't partake now and again mind you but I don't let substances/food/etc dictate my life. Any time I have found myself unhappy with something in my life I have made active effort to change it.

Like I said though, I just don't understand people who get that large, especially in today's society where they will take even MORE crap for it.


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

I don't understand either.


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## Jezlad (Oct 14, 2006)

She may not of been able to get help growing that big but she didn't have to eat the universe!!


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## DaemonsR'us (Jan 25, 2007)

So very true Jez >.>


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Jezlad said:


> She may not of been able to get help growing that big but she didn't have to eat the universe!!


Ha, ha, ha...Yo mama's so fat she ate the universe. Great devourer indeed...


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

lol, thats good.

yo mamas so dumb she pulls out the clip and throws the gun away.

and repeating a previous one of mine...

yo mamas so fat she doesnt have any folowers because she squashed them all


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## Jacobite (Jan 26, 2007)

Your momma's so fat she could eat Hive Fleet Kraken for a snack.

Sorry I think that was the best I could do.


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## pathwinder14 (Dec 27, 2006)

Your Mama's so nasty she uses Nurgle's Rot brand (TM) deodorant.


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## Jeridian (Jan 4, 2007)

Yo mamma's so wrong-looking I went to KFC, asked for a wing, a breast and leg and they threw her over the counter.

Can't take credit for it, was on Paramount Channel.


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## cccp (Dec 15, 2006)

your mums had more pricks than a second hand dart board

slightly un40k related but good nonetheless. now, back on topic.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

your mams so fat she has her own set of interstellar satilites just to relay commands from her brain to her various body parts

yo mamas so ugly people accidentally step on and fall into her massive pimples


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## Pyromanic Tendencies (Mar 20, 2007)

Yo mamma's so stupid, when Horus said "let the galaxy burn", she set fire to a chocolate bar...
Yo mamma's so fat, she meet Nurgle and he cried...
Yo mamma's so ugly, if she enters the room, people decide to collect Dark Eldar...


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## Anphicar (Dec 31, 2006)

That last one was funny.


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## Ordo Xeno Commander (Jan 17, 2007)

i agree lol

yo mamas so ugly even dark eldar wont date her.

yo mamas so fat she has her own gravitational pull coz she sure as hell aint attractive.

yo mamas so fat she classes for clinical obesity three times over

yo mamas so fat she provides mcdonalds with their yearly oil and fat supply

not exactly 40k but hey  

yo mamas so stupid she ate khorne because she was hungry.


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## Larkin (Mar 18, 2007)

your mommas so fat she absorbed the eye of terror in to her flab

your mommas so slutty she won the deamonette gang bang

your mommas so fat even gravity wells cant crush her

your mommas so slow she has initative -37

your mommas so heavy when she tripped she crippled the emperor


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## Pyromanic Tendencies (Mar 20, 2007)

Daemonette gang bang?
*claws out own eyes*


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## Bloodhound (Feb 8, 2007)

yo mama is so fat, when she jumped she moved tartarus out of orbit


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## Alexander_67 (May 5, 2007)

Your mommas so ugly Khorne never wants her head for his throne.

Your mommas so dirty that when she got a papercut her spilled blood made Khorne throw up.


meh the best i could do.


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## black chaplain (May 14, 2007)

yo mamma's so sick "*crowd shouts* how sick is she?" she is so sick that she uses nurgling toothpaste

man...that was pretty bad


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## Warboss Rustynail (May 18, 2007)

yo mamma's so fat she has nine planet orbiting her

yo mamma's so fat she blocked the sun and lorn V became an ice world


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