# WAGS and 40K



## friar76 (Jul 10, 2012)

Hi all,

Little question form a fellow servant of the God Emperor:

I was planning a list for a game me and a mate will play for his birthday at warhammer world this coming friday, and my partner comes out with this little comment: 'you geek-plotting honey?'

For those of you lucky enough to have wives/ gf/ bf/ fiancees/ bromances/ etc who are also involved in the hobby this probably won't affect you (lucky lol)

For the rest of you with spouses/ partners who do not get involved in the hoby, do they ever tell you something that makes you want to 'face-palm' at their lack of intellect of the game, or genuine indifference to it? :headbutt:

Let us all know these little nuggets of Tzeentch- raging comments that will leave even the 'Greater Good' Tau turning to Khorne to wipe them from existence... or just sigh in acceptance, and apologising to the God- Emperor for their lack of understanding lol

Happy Gaming!:victory:


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## Tawa (Jan 10, 2010)

My Mrs isn't really all that arsed about Bolt Action or X-Wing.
And definitely not 40k or Fantasy.


I have managed to get her attention by picking up the Star Trek version of X-Wing..... :good:


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## mayegelt (Mar 18, 2014)

My one is normally a friend comes over with his sisters kids (who he has started up with the game as well) and she will loudly yawn away in the corner of the room and chuckle at how involved I get in rules and army planning, or how intense I can be when rules lawyering. My normal reply to this is "I watch things you want to watch that I don't like. But at least you have the option of leaving the room without offending me." (sitting through Hunger Games was a chore I don't want to repeat) and that seemed to mean we have our space when it comes to stuff like that.


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## LokiDeathclaw (Jun 19, 2013)

My wife does not play 40k, Fantasy or any wargame but insists on seeing everything I paint, buy or plan to buy and frequently buys me kits! In fact my wife has brought a majority of my new SW models and actually persuaded me to start a High Elf army as she loved the models. The first game I had on my new table she wanted to see both armies set up and had a look at my mates army, asking questions about what was what! All in all I think I'm a lucky guy!


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## Wookiepelt (Jan 29, 2013)

My wife simply shakes her head, rolls her eyes and leaves me to get on with it... until it's time for me to: do some house chores/set the dinner table/deal with the laundry/deal with the kids (delete as appropriate), then she gets crossed threaten if I continue. Simple rules which if not broken then we're all good! :biggrin:


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

My lady doesn't get involved often, though she has played Orks in an apoc game a budy and I did. She doesn't give me shit about what I buy (within reason), and thinks I'm the best modeler/greenstuffer/painter in the land  (though I know I'm not lol). She enjoys when I go hang with the guys and even encourages it. When we play at our house she makes everyone food and gets in on the conversations that always turn dirty. I feel lucky that my interests are not only tolerated, but encouraged. Once in a while she'll even ask to paint a model... or ask to use my paints to do her nails haha.


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## morfangdakka (Dec 31, 2006)

My new girlfriend thought it was nerdy/dorky for me to play with little toy army men and gave me crap about it playing with my little 'toys'. I said ok I'll stop playing with my toys but I'm going out getting drunk and getting a hooker for the night but don't worry honey I'll use a condom with the hooker. Suddenly my toys didn't seem bad at all. I have even started teaching her son how to play the game and build his Necorns since he loves robots. I even convinced her to try building a wood elves army. She does love my painting and watching my army come together. Now she wants to go and watch me play a game. So slowly I am converting her. :biggrin:


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## friar76 (Jul 10, 2012)

One very clear reason I cannot wait to have children! Teach them the lore of 40k (when they are old enough). My nephew has taken an interest, but is obsessed with cricket at present, so much he plays county, so I will wait until the off season, then introduce him to the grimdark!

As for my wife, she does encourage me to paint/ make my models, but there is a rule, no buying more until I have finished what I have bought. Which is fine, as I buy one, make one, technically it follows the rules :victory:



morfangdakka said:


> My new girlfriend thought it was nerdy/dorky for me to play with little toy army men and gave me crap about it playing with my little 'toys'. I said ok I'll stop playing with my toys but I'm going out getting drunk and getting a hooker for the night but don't worry honey I'll use a condom with the hooker. Suddenly my toys didn't seem bad at all


Totally agree with this, I always use this as an alternative- 'would you prefer me to be a drunkard and hand around lusty women all evening, rather than my fellow wargaming fellows discussing tactics and bantering over a well-placed lance strike?'
End result: me-1, wife-0

It is also very satisfying to find out I had a very old school frienc who enjoyed the hobby years ago, and during a conversation find out we both have armies, but have never fought each other- cue excitement and instant trips to Warhammer World at the weekend :biggrin:


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

At the game shop the other night, close to closing, someone asked the group if anyone wanted to go to the strip club. We were all said in unison, "rather buy x model than waste it on a woman who won't put out'  haha


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## Kreuger (Aug 30, 2010)

Nah all's good here. The Mrs doesn't play but is aware of the hobby, and has painted a few miniatures. 

We both work and are in grad school so time is the real limiting factor. I haven't played in many years, and I haven't painted almost anything since I started school. She's generally good humored about it, not terribly interested, but not rude either.


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

My Mrs has become more open to being involved over the years. Going on 8 years together. First few years she called them 'toy soldiers' or 'dollies' and kid me. Then she started painting things just to see what it was like and started to enjoy doing that. Taught her why cleaning mold lines was important and now she'll help me clean big kits so I can finish quickly. This year was the first time I got her to play - my buddy and his girl, so we did girls (Orks) vs Boys apoc. She didn't know the rules, but we just coached her through and she had fun enough when her boyz mob killed Typhus! Just takes time and an army she can connect with if she is inclined. My lady loves the craziness of the Orks.


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## Tawa (Jan 10, 2010)

StormBringer328 said:


> My lady loves the craziness of the Orks.


Orks were way more fun back in the early days..... :laugh:


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

Oh, I agree. That is when she started liking them most. Haven't even got the new codex yet to really get a feel for their current incarnation. That's actually disappointing to hear, as I was thinking about getting her a proper force worked out after I finished getting my CSM and Space Wolves sorted


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## Moonschwine (Jun 13, 2011)

friar76 said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Little question form a fellow servant of the God Emperor:
> 
> ...


GF often comments on how she's an enabler of my hobbies. Its also often hard to explain to her that I would like a Titan more than a fancy watch. I think one of the problems is that I can support myself, lifestyle and hobbies compared to when I was younger and 40k stuff all came in big lots of Christmas and Birthday presents. Originally my GF and I used to butt-heads alot over my hobbies, especially since I tend to go to clubs on Sunday afternoons. 

Eventually we realized that alot of it stems from the fact that she, like many modern women, are brought up with deluded perceptions that men should only wear suits and like things like cars, boats and cufflinks and are incapable of being happy and expressive without buying something like a Ferrari, Superbike, Speedboat or a G6.

If I work it out, I spend about £400 a year on my war-gaming hobbies, which is roughly 1 or 2 things every month, though it also covers things like spray cans, IPA/Acetone, new brushes etc etc. From that I get about 20+ hours of entertainment out of most model items from unboxing to basing - on the high end of the scale this is nearly a full month. This excludes game time though since I don't play very often. 

It used to annoy me that my GF would complain about my spending and miniature painting, until I eventually shot the remark out that she spends about £2000 a year getting her dyed to impress people who don't give a crap, drinks around another £2000 of booze over the year to pretend to enjoy the company of said people and has literally zero hobbies of interest beyond not being able to dance with the crowd of people who don't care in the first place. Or that she buys a £30 dress/jeans/useless item at least every week because feels like it. At that point she had a bit of an epiphany that my wargaming hobbies, video gaming hobbies and interest in RPG's probably aren't the "out there" things.


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## morfangdakka (Dec 31, 2006)

StormBringer328 said:


> My lady loves the craziness of the Orks.


"I don't always play her orks but when I do. It is to get the Mrs. all hot bothered and in the mood for crazy stuff. ":laugh:

I like the craziness of orks as well and they aren't bad this edition but they aren't great either. Now third edition they rocked. Choppas made all armor saves 4+, lootas could take sniper rifles and looted vehicles retained most of their original shooting ability for cheaper than the what the original army could take them. 

Still if she loves them and loves playing with them there are some interesting builds in the current edition. Like the double CAD with 5 warboss on bikes all with power klaws or adding weirdboyz to tankbusta units. The big mek with Shokk Attack gun is loads of fun and craziness. So when she is ready Morfangdakka's big stompa Mob is always here to help. :biggrin:


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

@ morfangdakka - LMAO Nothing gets her wanting more than when I talk like an ORK... (this isn't the place for such talk!)

It was actually the metal model I have of the Shokk Attacj Gun and the explanation of how it works (teleporting grots) that made her fall in love with the Greenskins. He. Way it's sucking up little guys and the way one is trying to avoid being turned into a projectile lol. She wants an army of grots and a while ago I won an auction of about 60 metal ones with the intention of doing a lot of conversions with them at her request. She doesn't really get the rules of the game, but when we play she tells me what she wants to do and I translate it. Just the fact that she shows interest is good enough for me. Let's me get away with my army projects without getting stink eye. 

It's nice to have a woman who not only appreciates my interest, but finds her own slight enjoyment out of it as well.

I get crap from some of the guys because we aren't married but have been together going on 8 years, but we both have weird views on what marriage means in this day and age. She has a ring on her finger and we act married obviously, but we just do what works for us I guess.


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## wooday218 (Jul 22, 2010)

Nice guys,my wife tells me how much she hates the hobby on a regular basis! She especially wasn't too chuffed my 7 year old son has just started a dark angels army !


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## Tawa (Jan 10, 2010)

wooday218 said:


> Nice guys,my wife tells me how much she hates the hobby on a regular basis! She especially wasn't too chuffed my 7 year old son has just started a dark angels army !


Boom. Headshot! :laugh:


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

What makes her hate it so much, wooday218? The cost factor can be understandable, but I don't understand the ladies being chuffed about spending a few nights in a month hanging with buddies. And it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do with your son. 

My ex-girlfriend, before I met my current life partner, was hostile toward me about gaming and it never made sense to me. She spent more on clothing in a given month than I did on gaming, spent more time going out with the girls than I did hanging with gaming friends (let alone that cost), etc. Glad that didn't work out for more reasons than my hobby interests...


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## Moonschwine (Jun 13, 2011)

StormBringer328 said:


> My ex-girlfriend, before I met my current life partner, was hostile toward me about gaming and it never made sense to me. She spent more on clothing in a given month than I did on gaming, spent more time going out with the girls than I did hanging with gaming friends (let alone that cost), etc. Glad that didn't work out for more reasons than my hobby interests...


This happened to me alot when I was younger. 

I think it's something to do with bragging rights and gossip. My old girlfriend used to have a friend who would constantly bang on about how amazing her boyfriends were / how interesting they are etc etc. It sort of became a bit of a pissing contest between them but she always lost on the comparative hobbies front because apparently me playing with toy soldiers was embarrassing for her to explain. Eventually it spilled over into other things; gaming, rpgs and even the kind of TV I watched like anime and what not; yet all she'd want to do would be to watch god-damn reality TV like Strictly Come Dancing or X-Factor and drink "vino" on weekends, which frankly sounds like hell to me.

Eventually we went in different directions but I laugh now because she had a kid to some guy who ran off with her friend and her son now plays Warhammer :grin:

My friend has the same problem with his brother and sisters / family friends who see him working on that stuff. I went to his wedding and every time I met some one new it was always "did you know he plays with toys." Like he was somehow handicapped or something.


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## Warpangel (Apr 9, 2013)

I love the wife and she's getting better at understanding ! I think it's mainly the cost and time out playing the odd game maybe 2 per month if im lucky. Plus they don't understand that I need a model even though I've still loads to paint lol 
I've tried getting her to play a game with me and paint but to no luck 
But I think it's ace wen she goes n buys me a surprise ( the most random kit ) and says to me that will keep you going for abit !!!!!! I do t wanna paint the HOBBIT models !!!!!!!! 
So I return them with out her knowing ! It sounds so u greatfull but images buying her a dress or shoes she hated and expected her to wear them ! No it makes sense lol
But over all she's getting better and just letting me get on with it ha ha I'm 29 n I've been married 5 years together 9 years so I'll have her playing by time we are 60 at this rate I just can't wait till my sons old enough now


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

Yeah, our old ex's certainly sound a lot alike! Crazy because she was a nintendo gamer in a hardcore way, so while I worked on minis she'd play whatever iteration of gameboy was out then with no fuss to me. I never even ask she join or go to events. She had 0 involvement other than having to see my book shelf with nicely painted minis, my small hobby desk hidden away at her request, and whatever I was currently working on taking up some room on our coffeetable. I had to watch awful reality tv and sex and the city shit, but I didn't mind when I was working on stuff anyway. Good riddance, I say. You're def right - I was nothing to brag about with thetype of friends she had, but I gave 0 shit what others thought.

My parents still tease me about it, but my mom stopped upon seeing that I wasn't simply painting things in flat colors. She was actually amazed at the level of detail once I finally showed them. My dad got me into this kind of wargaming hobby, though he never did straight warhammer (had a great xmas one year when I got Battlemasters!). He still ribs me about it, but I can see the gleam in his eye - he is close to joining in one dayn just doesn't want to paint and model his own stuff. 

People are weird about it till they understand what it is and your motivation for it. Everyone has a 'thing' and it's always weird to the uninitiated.


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## Haskanael (Jul 5, 2011)

I've had a bunch of ex's that ridiculing the hobby and myself for enjoying it, calling it childish and worse. with the first one it took me a while to lose patience with it, but I broke it off after 6 months. 
the other 2 got a chance to explain why, and I tried to explain how i felt about it, wich didn't do anything to change their stance. so I broke those relationships off too.

now I'm with someone that actively supports my hobby, and enjoys watching me work on things for the hobby. she even asks me if I need certain things to make scenery.

TL;DR. if you have an SO that keeps ridiculing one of the hobbies that you enjoy a lot and means a lot to you, and if they enjoy making you feel bad about your hobbies. break it off, life is to short for that kind of shit.


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## Moonschwine (Jun 13, 2011)

StormBringer328 said:


> Yeah, our old ex's certainly sound a lot alike! Crazy because she was a nintendo gamer in a hardcore way, so while I worked on minis she'd play whatever iteration of gameboy was out then with no fuss to me. I never even ask she join or go to events. She had 0 involvement other than having to see my book shelf with nicely painted minis, my small hobby desk hidden away at her request, and whatever I was currently working on taking up some room on our coffeetable. I had to watch awful reality tv and sex and the city shit, but I didn't mind when I was working on stuff anyway. Good riddance, I say. You're def right - I was nothing to brag about with thetype of friends she had, but I gave 0 shit what others thought.
> 
> My parents still tease me about it, but my mom stopped upon seeing that I wasn't simply painting things in flat colors. She was actually amazed at the level of detail once I finally showed them. My dad got me into this kind of wargaming hobby, though he never did straight warhammer (had a great xmas one year when I got Battlemasters!). He still ribs me about it, but I can see the gleam in his eye - he is close to joining in one dayn just doesn't want to paint and model his own stuff.
> 
> People are weird about it till they understand what it is and your motivation for it. Everyone has a 'thing' and it's always weird to the uninitiated.


Sounds all too familiar.

One of the big points I realized that what people think of my hobbies came when I was playing D&D at some friends, then another "non-gamer friend" rang me and was like "hey man what you up to?" so to avoid the hassle I said something like "Just watching TV." after I put the phone down everyone was looking down at their character sheets and one of them went "Hehe, I see you lie about playing the game too." 

After that I realized I was making excuses about something that made me happy; by the time I went to Uni I was proudly displaying all my 3.5 Edition books and was playing Firewarrior on my laptop.

God I'm old !


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

Hahaha, Good 'ol Firewarrior (so amazing at the time!) And 3.5 D&D I remember fondly. Does that make us the old guys!? Lol

What really killed it with my ex and I is that we were in college at the time, so when we first got together I didn't game much other than on the computer. We moved in together and all my 'nerdy stuff' she requested I put in a particular closet, away from her friends eyes. Wasn't so bad. What changed things so much, beyond moving in together, is that was the year I got super sick and was finally diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I had a major surgery and probably worked only 6 months of that year due to illness and surgery recovery. I was stuck at home and bored so much I got out some of my gaming stuff and really took on warhammer and tabletop gaming in a way I never had. I bought the then new Battle for Macragge set for something to do while recovering. I'm still sick as shit all the time, having more bowel removed every few years, and painting and modeling helps ground me. I get super depressed about my illness and the hobby is my way os staying alive (if that makes sense). My partner now understands this about me and probably why she handles the hobby life so well. Having some buddies over during times I can't leave the house for long periods is my lifeline to the world. As well as forums like this. Life sucks if you focus on the bad and let things over take you. We all need something that helps us get outside our own heads. 

That's what gaming does for me. In the real world I'm a 30 something 120 lbs sickly looking fella, but when we game I'm an 8ft tall genetically enhanced Space Wolf Lord! Or a Chaos Lord who is the laughable scourge of our gaming subsector! My partner understands all of this and, most of all, understands my motivations. We all find rough spots in our life and we have to find a way through it. I can't drink without it effecting my disease or interacting with medication, but I could choose to spend my time and money on unproductive and unhealthy activities, but none sound as fun as this life of gaming!


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## StormBringer328 (Apr 9, 2015)

And I just gotta say what a joy it has been to unload some of this here with you fine gentlemen. I'm new to this particular forum, but never had this sort of community relation in any other forum over the years. It feels cathartic to let loose some of this baggage with guys who understand me in a way not many people in my life do. Just wanna say thanks for sharing and for letting me share. Seriously, means a lot. I get so lonely sometimes stewing in my own thoughts and depression is never far away. Comes with any chronic illness as well as feeling like you just don't fit in around most people. You guys rock.


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## wooday218 (Jul 22, 2010)

I'm in the military and I have to lie about my hobby and keep it secret,the slightest clue I do it and I would be ridiculed. It does annoy me the lack of acceptance all around us, my son is well and truly loving the gaming side of the hobby so I take him down GW on beginners Sundays when I can , I only wish there's more acceptance in the future for when he chooses to persue our hobby as he grows !


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## Einherjar667 (Aug 23, 2013)

My girlfriend is happy I enjoy it, and lets me talk to her about it haha. She is very supportive and sweet about it.

Work is the same way, I work for a commercial printing company so most everyone there is from a creative background, everyone who knows about it (FB and IG friends see my models on a weekly basis) think it's awesome, even the jock/macho guys I work with.


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## Woodzee316 (Sep 11, 2010)

my wife tried once, sat down with me painted one yes one ork head and proceeded to tell me to in her words " how many more? you can bash that up your arse!" and walked off. 

She fumes about how much money I spend on the hobby my response is to remind her how every four months she spends about $300 on your hair and nails. tends to end the argument then.

She doesn't mind when I play at home just not so much when I head out and leave her with the kids all night. having said that she is pretty tolerant with the late nights and all the people over at my place.


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## Deus Mortis (Jun 20, 2009)

My girlfriend has gotten better recently. She used to be apathetic, chalking it up as a thing like video games; something I liked and she just didn't get. 

However, near the start of last semester while she was visiting me at uni, she asked me to teach her how to play. Once she we had played a few skirmishes (I think I lost 2-1 in the end) she gained a level of appreciation for the thoughtful element of it. That coupled with the creative side means she now sees it in a positive light. 

Although she's now trying to convince me to play high elves so I can have dragons and shit because those are what she'd buy if she was going to. But still, it's a good situation to be in. I'd rather be told to buy more plastic miniatures than not to :victory:


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## Kreuger (Aug 30, 2010)

StormBringer328 said:


> And I just gotta say what a joy it has been to unload some of this here with you fine gentlemen.... You guys rock.


"And ladies." Our forum regulars thankfully aren't _all_ guys. 

And you're very welcome! Everyone has their own difficulties in life. Yours are (obviously) welcome here too.


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## Tawa (Jan 10, 2010)

This post has fuck all to do with 40k, but at a stretch it's still about partners and hobbies.

My beloved is snoozing away upstairs, and I'm checking my emails etc before I load the car and fuck off to a re-enactment event until I get home Tuesday lunchtime.
Now that, is an understanding woman :good:


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