# Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 12-06: Restitution Voting Thread



## Dave T Hobbit (Dec 3, 2009)

*Boc is away so I have taken over the voting this month*

Donning my best Boc voice:

This concludes Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 12-06!

Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Thank you all as well, for helping to add colour to the already exceptional fanfic forum here on Heresy. Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.

Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.

Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt

*When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:*
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.

Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If you cast any votes, you have to cast all three, no picking a single story and nothing more.

Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.

By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.

Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum.

Just to emphasize again, _you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes!_ The more people that cast their votes, the better!

The deadline for voting will be midnight US Eastern Standard Time *Saturday, 30 June 2012*. At that time this thread will be completed, the winner declared, and the new HOES topic for Competition 12-07 will be posted.

Here are the entries from HOES 12-06:


*Table of Contents*

Iron Angel: Ashes to the Stars

Serpion5: Old Debts

Lilidhe: The Mothers' Gifts

andygorn: Only Duty Remains

Romero's Own: A Life for a Life

Adrian: Selfless Tears

kurnugia: Beacon of Restoration

gothik: Calling in the Debt

Bloody Mary: Debts

andygorn: A Lesson from History

Dave T Hobbit: Fair Shares

Zinegata: Was It Enough?
​


----------



## Liliedhe (Apr 29, 2012)

Great. I was starting to wonder...

Just one tiny correction: My story is called "The Mothers' Gifts". Mothers is plural.


----------



## Dave T Hobbit (Dec 3, 2009)

Liliedhe said:


> Just one tiny correction: My story is called "The Mothers' Gifts". Mothers is plural.


Apologies. Fixed.


----------



## Liliedhe (Apr 29, 2012)

And my votes:
1st Place: Fair Shares by Dave T Hobbit, 3 pts
2nd Place: Debts by Bloody Mary, 2 pts
3rd Place: Was it Enough? by Zinegata, 1 pt


----------



## Ambush Beast (Oct 31, 2010)

*My votes*

1st place - Zinegata: Was It Enough? - 3 points

2nd place - andygorn: A Lesson from History - 2 points

3rd place - Dave T Hobbit: Fair Shares - 1 point


----------



## Bloody Mary (Nov 6, 2009)

1st place - Liledhe - "The Mothers' Gifts"
2nd place - Dave T Hobbit - "Fair Shares"
3rd place - Adrian - "Selfless Tears"


----------



## gothik (May 29, 2010)

1st place - Liledhe - "The Mothers' Gifts"
2nd place - Dave T Hobbit - "Fair Shares"
3rd place - Adrian - "Selfless Tears"


----------



## Sir_Galahad777 (Jun 25, 2012)

1st Place - Gothik - Calling in the Debt
2nd Place - Zinegata - Was It Enough?
3rd Place - Dave T Hobbit - Fair Shares


----------



## Romero's Own (Apr 10, 2012)

1st Place : Adrian - "Selfless Tears"
2nd Place: Gothik - Calling in the Debt
3rd Place: Liledhe - "The Mothers' Gifts"


----------



## Dave T Hobbit (Dec 3, 2009)

Once again a hard choice for top three:

*1st place:* Liliedhe, The Mothers' Gifts, 3 pts
*2nd place:* Iron Angel, Ashes to the Stars, 2 pts
*3rd place:* Bloody Mary, Debts, 1 pt

My brief thoughts on each of them were:

*Adrian, Selfless Tears:* An interesting twist at the end. However the lack of foreshadowing made the ending seem a little disconnected.

*andygorn, A Lesson from History:* The story within a story worked well. However the narrative descriptions seemed a little florid (for example, _"espy"_).

*andygorn, Only Duty Remains:* The method of finding a replacement was well described. however some of the description was more like an annotated text than a story; for example: _"The colour of mourning upon her bleak world (because it represents the planet’s scarce vegetation and hope) a length of drab green cloth is folded into a pile of triangles in his arms. It’s yellow tassels of death-in-combat hang proudly down. ‘’Mine was a life not easily taken’’ they imply."_

*Bloody Mary, Debts:* The characterisation of different races was for he most part believable. However the protagonist's thoughts felt slightly stilted in places.

*gothik, Calling in the Debt:* The plot was good but the characters felt a touch lacking in personality. Aslo, some of the imagery felt slightly wrong: 
"...like small lichen looking for a way in to cause havoc amongst the tasty mortal beings...."; lichen does not usually cause havoc.

*Iron Angel, Ashes to the Stars:* The question and response section flowed very well. However it was unclear why Sil was agitated at mention of his reformation name.

*kurnugia, Beacon of Restoration:* The beginning was a great hook. However the descriptions sometimes seemed a little clunky; for example, _"For a second the silence was deafening something that is hardly the norm in a hive city."_

*Liliedhe, The Mother's Gifts:* The revealing of the history and rites balanced explanation and flow well.

*Romero's Own, A Life for a Life:* The concept was engaging. However the actual description of the moment's leading up to the suicide did not really make it feel a natural step for the Eldar to take.

*Serpion5, Old Debts:* A solid piece of writing. However, it felt like an extract rather than a self-contained piece.

*Zinegata - Was It Enough?* The contrast of the Marine's specific purpose with the planet's needs was good and the emotional ending was well written. However, some of the sentences lacked fluidity: for example, _"But to everyone's surprise...."_


----------



## Boc (Mar 19, 2010)

As a quick interjection, many thanks to Dave for helping me out with getting this up, I'd posted in Mod forums that I'll be out of contact from last Friday until the end of July due to army stuff, and had failed to ask him to cover for me with HOES haha, many thanks though, and great stories this month!

As always, thank you all so much for making the Original Works forum successful by continually contributing your talents to it.

From the middle of nowhere,
-Boc


----------



## Serpion5 (Mar 19, 2010)

1st: Zinegata, Was it Enough? - 3pts

2nd: Adrian, Selfless Tears - 2pts

3rd: Romero's own, A life for a life - 1pt.


----------



## kurnugia (Jun 20, 2012)

1st place- Adrian: Selfless Tears
2nd place- Lilidhe: The Mothers' Gifts
3rd place- Dave T Hobbit: Fair Shares


----------



## Zinegata (Jan 25, 2012)

1st Lilidhe: *The Mothers' Gifts*

2nd Adrian: *Selfless Tears*

3rd Dave T Hobbit: *Fair Shares*


----------



## Dave T Hobbit (Dec 3, 2009)

_Stealing once more Boc's voice:_


Thanks again to all that participated this month!

Third Place: *Dave T Hobbit's* Fair Shares - _11 points_

Second Place: *Adrian's* Selfless Tears - _12 points_

And for the second month running...

First Place: *Liliedhe's * The Mothers' Gifts - _15 points_


----------



## Liliedhe (Apr 29, 2012)

*Oscar voice* Thanks to the academy, thanks to the audience, thanks to my mom... 

And to everyone who voted for me, of course.


----------



## Dave T Hobbit (Dec 3, 2009)

Well done to everyone who entered, and thank you to everyone who voted for me.

As Boc is very busy the 12-07 topic might be delayed until late Monday.


----------



## gothik (May 29, 2010)

well done to the winners and looking foward to the next one and nice one Dave for stepping in like that


----------



## Ambush Beast (Oct 31, 2010)

*Hi*

Thanks for the votes. Great job Liliedhe. Well earned. I've been putting in around 60 hours of work per week so writing has been on the back burner for a while. It sucks but bills must be paid and wifie must be taken care of. Take care everyone. God bless.


----------

