# The Heretic



## Digg40k (Sep 7, 2008)

_This is a short kind of introduction for a character I wrote, he was my idea for a character who could pop up in the Ezine that this website was writing a few months ago. I wanted to make it humerous but have it rooted within the 40k universe well enough for it to be in the Ezine.

Anyway here it is:
_
Deep within the Eye of Terror living in a hollowed out, warped and twisted floating rock the size of a large moon, one of the most curious creatures of the 40k universe lives. His vast abode a maze of intertwining corridors, The Heretic lives. Nobody knows whence he came or why he is so favoured by Tzeentch the lord of change but he is his most protected and prized of servants, perhaps some deed of great magnitude in the past led him to this most ostentatious of fates or perhaps Tzeentch simply keeps him as a play thing, an amusement of sorts. It is conceivable that it is because not even Tzeentch knows what The Heretic will do next. An entire moon sized home, equipped with anything and everything the crazed mad man could ever wish for lies at his fingertips, vast laboratories dotted with twitching and flickering machines constructed by The Heretic with an unknown purpose. The Heretic is a tinkerer, a man of such high knowledge even the most lordly adepts of the corpse gods Mechanicum seem as striplings to him.

Standing hunched at the height of about 4ft, trailing torn dirty rags whilst smoothing his greasy unwashed hair across his balding scalp The Heretic shuffled across his newest of creations laboratory, muttering nervously with an inane grin upon his face. “Today has been a good day!" He exclaimed, wildly flailing his arms in the air. He suddenly stopped, a look of pure malice and hatred crept across his face. What possible evil was he considering now? What affront to nature could he think of next?! “I must drink!” he screeched, hopping madly down a corridor like a scorched dog.

Eventually stopping at a glowing door The Heretic stepped in, eyeing an object on the floor, a metallic cylindrical item with a fluted top. Observing the machines rites he pressed a button located on the top of the item. The thing began to rock and scream, The Heretic whimpering clawed to the corner of the room clutching his own body, harder the unholy thing rocked, evermore piercing its scream became. Until, a soft click and the thing stopped, it simply lay there gently steaming.

He hated the thing, yet he loved it also. Three years earlier, Tearing through warp space and then time itself in one of his distortion machines not knowing where he might end up it was something he had found on one of his travels, an ancient relic from Holy Terra itself. At the time he hadn’t known what it did, only how to use it, he had watched the strangely dressed elderly human female create the broth of the gods and after one sip of it himself he had decided he must have this item at all costs. And now after enduring the horror of its ignition protocols he could reap the reward.

He followed the method of the old lady to the exact detail, placing the little bag of brown herbs into the cup he had drew from some god forsaken recess in his clothing. Screaming in a shrill tone he asked the heavens…. “One sugar or two Ethel?! Two it is then!” and then poured two amounts of the crystalline white stuff into the cup with the bag. Invoking the final litany at the top of his voice he poured the liquid from the revered item into the cup. “This rain never stops does it Ethel?” stirring gently he then grasped a container holding a white liquid and added it to the broth. It had taken him so long to acquire the white liquid, it was a task he didn’t relish, having to hurtle himself across time and space every few days was disconcerting but even worse the last time the beast he drew the stuff from had released a gas so vile in scent The Heretic was sure it was his masters brother God, Father Nurgle, attempting to stop him in his work! What was it the old lady had called the stuff again? Tay? Tai? Tee? It didn’t matter now anyway.

Then offering a prayer to the Lord of Change he exited the room, to sit down back in front of his newest creation, sighing with contentness.


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## Lord Sven Kittyclaw (Mar 23, 2009)

Will it be one sugar or two ethel? two it is then! LMAO that was quite funny! I hope you write more!


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## waltzmelancholy_07 (Sep 30, 2008)

There were some missing punctuation marks but other than that.... IT WAS JUST BLOODY BRILLIANT:laugh::biggrin::victory:!!!... Never laughed that hard in weeks... Rep men!...


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## Digg40k (Sep 7, 2008)

waltzmelancholy_07 said:


> There were some missing punctuation marks but other than that.... IT WAS JUST BLOODY BRILLIANT:laugh::biggrin::victory:!!!... Never laughed that hard in weeks... Rep men!...


I know when I wrote the thing it was late at night and I couldn't be arsed to proof read it before posting hehe.

Thanks for the compliment and the rep.


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## Mossy Toes (Jun 8, 2009)

Very amusing indeed. I won't feel amiss in +repping it.


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## Thanatos (Mar 23, 2009)

that was rather entertaining... +rep, you deserve it


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## Commissar Ploss (Feb 29, 2008)

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:: good god, i'm crying...funny shit mate! you get +rep from me!

Commissar Ploss 

if you could write more that would be great!


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